FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Melias looked at his father with wide eyes. What did he just say? "Guurolk?"

Ro's big smile vanished, and he shrunk back into the couch. "Yup, that's my name..."

"So, it is you! My goodness, you've grown so much!"

Melias rubbed his suddenly-aching head. "Wait, that's a wolven name. Why do you have a wolven name?"

The human groaned, but before he could answer, Cielan walked to the couch.

"First things first, Mel. Guurolk, can you take off your shirt?"

Guurolk's eyes flicked up to Melias for a moment, then down at the floor.

"I know, it's a little awkward, but I need to take a look," Cielan said, his voice soft and reassuring.

"Ah, um, okay." Ro grabbed the back of his shirt, wincing as he did, and slowly pulled it over his head.

Melias' throat tightened as his eyes followed the hem. A trail of red fur ran from Guurolk's pants and up his flat belly. Hormones coursed through the crow's veins as the human revealed more and more of his torso. But any nascent arousal was quashed as the shirt reached Guurolk's clavicle and Melias saw the big red mark on the right side of his chest. On the other side, three parallel, jagged, red streaks extended from the collarbone to the middle of his sternum. Were those... claw marks?

"Okay, what happened, and how long ago?" Cielan asked.

"Um, I was kicked there, maybe an hour and a half ago?"

"Alright. Can you lie down?"

Melias crouched next to the couch as the human lay down. "What is that?" he asked, pointing at the red splotch on Guurolk's chest.

"A bruise," Cielan said.

Melias winced. "They look like that?"

"Yep. It'll turn different colours as it heals. Okay, does it hurt when I do this?"

As Melias watched his father examine the human, his gaze wandered back to that strip of red fur running down Guurolk's abdomen. Why was it so appealing? His eyes continued following the fur until it vanished into the human's pants... and then he saw the bump a little farther down. He gulped. As fantasies rushed into his mind, he realized he didn't actually know what a human's genitals looked like. What, exactly, was he seeing? The outline of a sheath? Before his mind could get too creative, his father stood up.

"Okay. I'm pretty sure it's not broken, though it's impossible to tell without some kind of scan."

Melias relaxed, releasing tension that he didn't even know was there. His friend was going to be okay... right?

"Even if it were broken, the treatment would be the same. Rest, ice, and deep breaths," Cielan said.

Guurolk groaned as he wriggled back into his shirt. "Deep breaths?"

"Yeah. I know it's unpleasant, but it's important for your lungs. If you don't breathe normally, you could develop pneumonia, and if that happens, you're going to the hospital whether you want to or not. I'll get you some ice and painkillers. Hold tight, okay?" the blue jay said before he walked out of the room.

Melias rose from his squat and looked at Guurolk. Their eyes met for a moment, then the human looked away, bowing his head. The crow took a seat next to his friend. "So..."

Guurolk rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry, Melias." His quiet voice cracked and shook. "I'm just a lying piece of shit..."

Melias wanted to lean over and hug him. Were it not for the human's injury, he probably would have. "You are not."

The human sighed, his face scrunching up slightly. "My name is Guurolk Rupannthaga."

"I'm Melias Kova. Ro--can I keep calling you that, by the way?"

Guurolk shrugged. "That's the name of a coward."

"Okay, Guu--"

"But... uh, if you like it... you can keep using it."

"Are you sure? I don't want to use a name you don't like."

Ro nodded. "Y-yeah. It's... different, when a friend says it."

Melias smiled. His feathers prickled with warmth, and he had to keep himself from giggling. "Okay, Ro... it's just... Guurolk is a wolven name, isn't it? Why do you have a wolven name?"

"I can answer that one," Cielan said, walking back into the room with a pill bottle and cloth-wrapped ice pack in one hand, and a glass of water in the other. He looked at Ro. "Of course, if that's okay with you."

"You still remember?"

"Of course. Hard to forget your family."

Ro leaned back on the couch. "Alright."

Cielan handed everything to Ro, then took a seat in a chair across from the couch. "Right, where do I begin..."

"At the beginning?" Melias asked.

Cielan smirked. "Yes, that's sensible. So, about fourteen billion years ago--"

Ro snorted as he took a drink, and water ran down the side of his face, dribbling onto his shirt. He tried to say something, then coughed, then clutched at his chest, his face twisting into a half-grin, half-grimace. "Ah, don't make me laugh!"

The two birds chirped happily. Just being home and seeing Dad in person soothed Melias' heart in a way he hadn't felt in over a month.

"Sorry, sorry," Cielan said. "So, a couple of years ago, we had a family come into the shelter. Two wolves, early sixties, as well as their teenaged son."

Melias looked at Ro. "You?"

Cielan nodded. "Indeed. Recently homeless. Not particularly rare for older folks, sadly. Of course, what is rare is a couple that age having a teenaged son. At first, I thought I misheard 'grandson,' but no. Of course, it made a lot more sense when they pointed out which one of the kids was theirs."

The human sighed and rubbed his temple.

"We don't have to talk about this if it makes you uncomfortable," Melias said, sliding closer to Ro and rubbing him between his shoulders. He quickly realized what he was doing, and yanked his hand back. Holy shit, why did he just... reach over and do that? It was so subconscious!

Cielan looked at his son and raised an eyebrow, then looked back at Ro, then back at Melias.

The crow wanted to become invisible. Oh god, Dad probably thought he's got a crush on him, or, worse, that they're in a relationship. That's not what it is. Oh no, please, please don't say anything. Please don't make him have to explain himself. He was too young to die.

"N-no, it's fine. I want you to know," Ro said, looking at Melias out of the corner of his eyes. Wasn't his skin a lot less pink just a few seconds ago?

"Anyway..." Cielan said, using that voice he always used when he could tell something was up, but knew it'd be better to keep it to himself. "They explained that they were out for an evening walk when they heard crying nearby. When they checked where it was coming from, they saw a baby lying naked--no clothes or fur--in someone's backyard. Naaralt--his father--knocked on the door and was about to give the residents an earful, but they had no idea where the baby had come from either."

"It was like someone just... dumped me off to die," Ro said, looking at the floor.

Melias felt sick. How could anyone do that to an infant? At least give him up for adoption! He looked at the human, and wanted so badly to hug him. Maybe he wasn't loved when he was brought into the world, but he was now, and that's what mattered.

Loved by his parents, that is. That is what he meant.

Cielan closed his eyes. "I don't know. But what I do know is your parents love you more than I think you know."

See? Dad gets it too.

"Anyway, well, long story short, they wound up adopting him. Never did find the birth parents." Cielan turned to Ro. "Have they had any luck since?"

Ro shook his head. "Nope..."

"That's too bad."

"How did they end up at the shelter?" Melias asked.

"Fell on hard times, like everyone else."

Ro shifted in his seat. "W-well, actually, we kind of... got evicted. Suddenly."

Cielan turned his head. "Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Um, well, our landlord... saw me. And she was like, 'what the hell is that doing in here?'"

Melias balked. "That?"

"Well, Dad got really mad, and there was an... argument."

Cielan put his chin on his hand. "Oh, goodness. I knew there was an eviction, but they didn't tell me this."

"She was lucky Dad didn't rip her trunk off! We only had a few days to get out."

The blue jay tapped his chin. "That's not legal, but..."

Ro scoffed. "Yeah, like the law matters."

"Well, my husband and I own this house. You'll always be welcomed here," Cielan said, a gentle smile on his face.

"Thank you, Cielan. F-for everything! I'll never be able to repay you," Ro said, his voice starting to shake. "You saved us..."

Cielan put his hands up. "Please, Guurolk. The only thing you owe me is living your life well." A simple tune rang out from the blue jay's pants. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Speaking of my husband... he's on his way home now."

"Where was he?" Melias asked.

"Shopping. Anyway, I worked with them for a few weeks, and eventually, they found a new place. That's the story, in a nutshell. Did I miss anything important, Guurolk?"

Ro shook his head. "You're the one who found the place, Cielan."

"Ahh, details. What matters is that you had a home again." The blue jay stood up. "Okay, well, I made a bit of a mess in the kitchen when I was going through the first aid kit, so I'm going to clean it up. Why don't you show Guurolk your room, Mel? We can talk more in a bit." He smiled, then walked out of the room.

Melias looked at Ro. Was he even pinker now? "Here, I'll show you the way." He hopped to his feet and extended his hand.

Ro's eyes flicked toward the floor, then to the crow's hand. Slowly, he lifted his arm to Melias', then slipped his fingers between the white talons, grasping tightly.

A chill shot through the crow's spine. It felt so good. It felt so right. He squeezed, then pulled the human to his feet, and they looked into each other's eyes, fingers still interlocked.

"Melias... thank you, too," Ro said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you so, so much." His face crept into one of the gentlest, most soothing smiles Melias had ever seen.

The crow felt like he had a whole apple in his throat. Ro's face, especially his cheeks, practically shone red now, and Melias swore he could feel the heat coming off them. His heart fluttered. Ro just looked so... so...

"Melias, your talons are digging into--"

"S-sorry." Melias splayed his hand wide open, and Ro's fingers slid out of his grasp.

"It's okay..." Ro said with a silken voice.

The crow moved robotically toward the front door, picked up Ro's bag, then made another stiff turn toward his room. "This way." His whole body boiled as he walked. He wished he were back outside so the cool autumn air could settle him down. His mind vibrated, trying to find a way to deny the undeniable. Ro was just a friend. Just a friend. He was just a friend.

A friend that made his heart soar through the sky like his flighted ancestors, and gave him a reason to continue living in a world that hated him. Just a friend.

When he reached his room, he opened his door and flicked the light on. It was just how he had left it, right down to the bed not being made. He stepped in and put Ro's bag on the table next to his computer desk.

The human followed after him. "So this is where you grew up, huh?"

"Yes. It's not much, but it's all I ever needed." Did his voice sound funny? He felt like his voice sounded funny.

Ro sat on the bed and smiled. "I really like it..."

Seeing Ro on his bed felt strangely inappropriate. That only intensified when the human fell backwards, grunting softly as his back hit the mattress.

"Oh my god, this is so comfy."

The romantic urge in Melias crossed a threshold that had never been crossed before. His crush was on his bed. And it did not help in the slightest that the human's shirt had slid up his torso, revealing that alluring trail of red fur traveling up his stomach... and down into his pants. The crow's eyes wandered back down and once again, he saw that little bump in Ro's crotch. His imagination ran wild once more, dreaming about what a human's penis looked like... and what their balls looked like. His mind was filled with images of two big, round, low-hanging balls, just waiting to be worshipped by a horny crow's beak and tongue. He could cup them in his hand, encouraging them to work harder and produce a big load, all for him...

Ro sat back up, and his shirt flopped over his torso. The bulge in his groin disappeared into the various wrinkles of his pants, and Melias' fantasy disappeared along with it. They made eye contact for an instant, then Ro looked away. "Oh god. Sorry."

The crow blinked hard, as if trying to force the impure thoughts out through his eyes. "For what?"

"For just... spreading myself over your bed like that. Sorry. That was weird."

How did Ro always find a way to make things sound dirty?

"Um, it's fine. I don't mind." Way to understate it, Melias. His mind was still deep in the gutter, but he knew that if he didn't find a way to climb out, he would explode. "So, uh, how is your chest feeling?"

Ro rubbed the ice pack against his pec. "Well, I don't think the painkillers have kicked in yet, but I think the ice is helping." He took a slow, deep breath, squinting as his lungs filled, then held it for a few seconds before exhaling. Partway through, he sputtered out a cough. "Guh..."

"Are you okay?"

Ro smiled through his wince. "I expected worse, honestly." He fell backwards and sighed. "I can't believe it..."

Melias, sensing imminent danger, hopped into his computer chair and turned toward his desk. "Can't believe what?"

"Well, what are the chances that Cielan's your father?"

"Yes, it is quite a coincidence."

"I... and this is going to sound kind of, I dunno, lame, but... the moment I saw him, I felt so safe. I owe your dad my life."

"What did he do, exactly?"

"He fought for me. And he won."

Pride swelled within Melias. That sounded right. "What did he do?"

The bed creaked behind him, and Melias snuck a look. Ro had sat up, his feet dangling over the edge of the bed.

"Well... the reason we wound up in the shelter was because we just couldn't find a place to live after the eviction. I didn't know at the time, but it turns out that landlords talk to each other... and they keep a blacklist. And we were on it."

Melias spun his chair around. "Is that legal?"

Ro smirked. "Of course not."

"Oh... right..."

Ro pulled his legs onto the bed and sat cross-legged. "But Cielan never gave up on finding us a place... and he made sure we were taken care of at the shelter."

Melias smiled. "Yes, that sounds like him."

"Like, okay, when moved out, we brought most of our stuff to my aunt's house, and--"

"Wait, why did you go to the shelter instead of staying there?"

"Oh, their house is very small. We couldn't even fit all our stuff there, let alone, well, us. Anyway, I accidentally left almost all my clothes with them, so I had nothing to change into. The shelter had some, but none of it fit me. So Cielan brought me some from his house! He said that he had a son my age, and he... he..." Ro's eyes went wide for a moment, then drifted to the side as his jaw slowly dropped. "He brought... a shirt, some pants, and... oh. Oh." He covered his mouth with his free hand as his pale skin rapidly pinkened.

Melias clasped his beak. "A-and?"

"And a p-pair of... of... oh my god," Ro said, the rest of the sentence trailing off into a mumble.

Melias closed his eyes. He knew his socks wouldn't fit human feet, so there was only one other thing it could have been 'a pair of.' He shuddered. "He... he really gave you my--"

"He said he washed them an extra time! A-and it didn't really bother me, s-so I..." Ro groaned and dropped the ice pack before burying his face in his hands. "Oh god..."

Melias rapidly heated up, not only from embarrassment, but from... oh no, he wasn't getting even hornier, was he? "Well, I, uh, hope they were comfortable."

Ro looked at Melias from between his fingers. "Um, not really, actually... they were really tight."

Of course they were.

"Oh, I-I see." Melias cleared his throat. "So, uh, did you give them back when you were done? I mean, all of the clothes, not just the--"

"Ah, no. Cielan said I could keep them. S-sorry."

"Oh, no, it's fine." Much to Melias' surprise, he was disappointed. Not because he had lost the clothes--he hadn't realized this had even happened. But the thought of wearing his underwear after Ro made his groin heat up. Then a thought hit him, dragging his head out of the clouds. "Wait, how long ago was this?"

"Umm, we got evicted exactly one month before my birthday, so I would have been... twelve? Almost thirteen?"

Melias' fantasy dropped out of his mind as though it had fallen through a trapdoor. "Oh."

"Y-yeah... it was a while back." Ro rubbed his face and closed his eyes.

"So, what happened next?"

"Oh! Anyway... Cielan managed to find a place that was willing to take us, and we've been living there ever since."

"That's good."

"Yeah. It's not as nice as our old place, but... I actually like it more. I guess I appreciate it like I didn't appreciate the other house."

"I see." Gratitude... Melias was never very good at gratitude. He knew he was lucky in a lot of ways. His parents loved him. His family was financially stable. He would always have a home to return to. A lot of folks had it so, so much worse, but mental anguish consumed his thoughts and made it impossible to be truly grateful. Yet here was Ro, having endured far worse, able to be grateful over a downgrade. He was wonderful.

...He deserved better than an ugly, moody crow.

As the two sat without saying anything, just as they often did in the library, a question that had been percolating in Melias' mind finally bubbled to the surface. "So, what happens now?"

"Huh?"

"I was so worried about getting you over here, I didn't think of what would happen after Dad examined you."

"Oh!" Ro pushed himself to his feet and walked over to his bag. He stuck his arm into it and wiggled it around.

Melias watched the bag as it wobbled and deformed. Just what in the world was in there?

"Aha!" Ro pulled out a box and presented it to Melias.

Melias leaned forward. On the box was a photograph of a small circuit board with 'Halberd CG-07' written across the bottom. "You brought the FPGA!"

"Of course!" Ro looked away. "I... know you were really looking forward to checking it out."

Melias' heart throbbed. Even after everything that happened, Ro still kept him in mind. How was he such a beautiful soul? How, after life beat him down over and over and over again, could he keep such care in his heart? And why couldn't Melias be that way?

"Okay, let's get started!" Melias said, his body buzzing with excitement.

The two got to work setting up the device, and the crow entered the same focused trance that he experienced when he worked on his breadboard. But this time, his friend's enthusiasm and kindness made it feel like something truly worth doing. They bounced ideas off each other like a ping pong game, and in no time at all, they had a simple program running. As the two chatted merrily, discussing new things to try, a series of knocks echoed around the room. Melias fluttered over to the door and pulled it open. Standing there was a cardinal, even shorter and thinner than Dad, beaming at him with golden eyes.

The cardinal held his arms open as he walked through the door. "Mel!"

"Pop!" Melias said before the cardinal yanked him into a tight hug. Usually, his parents' affection made him self-conscious around others, but he felt perfectly comfortable with the human watching. He wrapped his arms around his father and cooed softly.

"Damn! Did you grow another thirty centimetres?"

Melias giggled. "Pop, I've been this height for years."

"Well, it sure feels like you got taller!" Pop let his son go and stepped toward Ro. "Hey, man! Cielan told me what happened. I'm glad you're okay. My name's Lairo." The cardinal extended his hand, but pulled back and twisted toward the FPGA. "Hey, what's that?"

Ro stood up straight. "Oh, that's a--"

"Yep, that sure is a Halberd. Cool! Whose is this?"

"Mine, Mr. Kova."

Lairo chirped. "Mr. Kova is my husband. Please, just call me Lairo. So, you're into software engineering too, uh... sorry, I'm being so rude. What's your name?"

"Guurolk." He looked at Melias and smiled. "Or... Ro, for short. A-and yes, it's my major."

Melias grinned back. He would never, ever get tired of seeing Ro's fur bounce on his head like that.

"Awesome! I'm a programmer too. Studying at Rozen U like Mel?"

Ro nodded. "That's right."

"Man, things have changed so much since I was in school, but in a good way! I've actually moved into integrated systems and work on FPGAs all the time. I could help out if you wanted."

Ro's eyes went wide, then shot to the floor. "Oh, I wouldn't want to impose--"

Lairo scowled and waved a hand. "It's not a problem at all! We'll start after dinner! Speaking of which... I better go help Cielan with that."

Melias perked up and his stomach grumbled. "What are we having?"

"Roasted nuts!"

The crow's mouth watered. "Oh, it's been too long..."

"We're makin' a lot!" Lairo looked at Ro. "You got a bunch of room in that stomach?"

Ro turned his head. "Ah, it's fine, you don't have to feed me."

Lairo looked back at Melias, a flat expression on his face. "Don't have to feed me, he says. Well, I guess you're right. We don't have to feed you. But we want to, so we're gonna! Uh, I mean, unless you're allergic. You don't have to eat them if you're allergic. Are you allergic?"

"N-no, I'm not," Ro said, looking back at the cardinal.

"It's settled then! You're in for a real treat! Good nuts are a life-changing experience!"

Melias rubbed his brow. Seriously, Pop?

The corners of Ro's mouth quivered. "I-is that s-so?"

Lairo nodded. "That's right! If you're gonna be hanging out here often--and I hope you are--you'd better get used to them! We're all nut lovers here." He turned to Melias and winked. "Some of us more than others."

A cold shock ran through Melias' veins. Seriously? Wasn't Pop ever going to stop teasing him about... that? At least in front of Ro?

The human turned around and raised a hand to his mouth. "I'll, um, keep that in mind," he said, the words escaping his throat in a shaky warble.

Lairo looked so smug. "Okie-dokie, dinner'll be ready in about half an hour. We'll call for you when it's ready. Good meeting you, Ro!"

"You too, Lairo," Ro said, his voice cracking. Every word sounded like it could collapse into laughter.

"Thanks, Pop," Melias deadpanned, staring at his father with a blank expression.

Lairo smiled. "You are so very welcome, Mel." He turned and walked out the door, leaving the stunned crow and shaking human alone again.

As soon the door clicked, Ro sat on the bed, closed his eyes, and rubbed his mouth. "Well," he said, then broke into laughter.

Melias shook his head. "He knew exactly what he was saying." He should have been mortified, but Ro was smiling and happy. Wasn't that what mattered?

"He's... certainly different from Cielan."

"He didn't make you uncomfortable, did he?"

"No, no!" Ro said, holding his hands in front of his face. "He's funny!"

Melias sighed, then realized something. "Hey, you're laughing!"

"Huh? What's wrong with--"

"Does it hurt?"

Ro kneaded his chest. "Oh... huh. It still aches a bit, but no, not really." He grinned. "Cielan to my rescue again..."

Melias' entire body suddenly felt lighter. His friend was going to be okay. He had made the right choice. He wasn't a complete fuck-up. "Good... I'm really glad."

The two gazed into each other's eyes for a moment. Then the human looked away.

"T-thank you, Melias. I know that sometimes, you don't really think too highly about yourself, but..." He grunted and shook his head. "I don't know what I'm trying to say. Just, I dunno. You're awesome, I guess."

Awesome? Awesome? It was hard enough for Melias to admit that he was maybe adequate, maybe sometimes. Certainly not 'awesome.'

Ro cleared his throat, and the words shook out of his mouth. "U-uh, anyway, we have time before dinner... think we can get it to render a cube before then?"

Melias smiled. "No, but let's try."

The human giggled and hopped off the bed. The two threw themselves back into their programming work until Lairo popped his head into the room and told them that dinner was ready.

As the four sat around the table, talking as though they had known the human all his life, two things stood out to Melias. The first was that he hadn't realized just how much he missed Dad's roasted nuts. The second was just how natural this all felt. How right it felt. After a lifetime of everything always feeling off, he had accepted that he would go to his grave never knowing the comfort of truly belonging. But he finally found it. He felt it. He never wanted it to end.

But, as with all good times, it did end --long before Melias was ready.

Ro set his spoon down. "Wow. You were right. That was life-changing."

Lairo winked. "Told ya! My husband's got the best nuts in the city!"

Cielan closed his eyes and subtly shook his head. "Really, Lai?"

"You've certainly made a nut-lover out of me!" Ro said, and he and the cardinal laughed. "But, really... thank you, Cielan. I... really enjoyed this."

The blue jay smiled. "Of course. It's my pleasure."

Ro nodded at Cielan, but his grin quickly disappeared. "Well, uh... m-maybe I should get going?"

Melias' heart dropped. Of course. It was getting late... if they caught the next bus, maybe they could get back to the college before the sun set...

Lairo scoffed. "Oh, you're not getting away that easily! I've got an integrated systems platform to teach you boys!"

"And I would like to keep an eye on you overnight, just in case," Cielan said

Melias' heart, already in his stomach, did a couple of laps around it. Overnight? Ro was going to be here all night?

The human looked back and forth between Melias' parents. "Are you sure? You've already--"

"Done enough?" Cielan put his hand on his chin. "Guurolk, really. Having you here has been a joy. If you think you're being a burden, let me assure you that quite the opposite is true."

Ro furrowed his brow. "S-seriously?"

"You bet!" Lairo said.

Cielan started gathering dishes. "Yes, seriously. I should be thanking you, really."

"Thanking me? For what?"

"My work is hard, Guurolk. Nearly every day, I see people at their very lowest. Many of them don't ever get back on their feet. But some do. Seeing them thrive makes it all worth it. So, thank you for thriving."

The human looked at Melias, then back at Cielan, then at his empty plate. "I... I..."

"You're embarrassing him," Lairo said. "That's my job!"

Ro chuckled awkwardly as his plate was snatched up by the blue jay. His voice was soft and quiet. "Well... you're welcome."

Melias caught Lairo's eye, and they smiled at each other. Seeing Ro get along this well with his parents made him so, so happy. At long, long last, something was going right. Was the world finally apologizing?

The cardinal stood up and stretched, his fingertips extending toward the ceiling. "Right, I'm gonna help Dad with the dishes, and then I'll be over to show you what the Halberd can do, okay?"

Ro sat up straight. "Oh! Let me help you!"

Cielan chuckled. "Thank you, Guurolk. That's very sweet, but the kitchen is barely big enough for two people, let alone three. Don't worry about it," he said, before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Oh... okay," Ro said, sounding deflated.

Lairo nodded. "Don't worry about it, Ro. I know you wanna help, but we've got this." He walked into the kitchen, then stuck his head around the corner. "Why don't you go back to Mel's room? I'll be over in like, ten."

Melias stood up. "That sounds good. Thank you again for dinner. It was perfect as always." He looked at Ro. "Do you need help?"

"I'm fine," Ro said, rubbing his chest. "Still feels okay." He pushed himself to his feet, and the two walked to Melias' room.

As Melias opened the door, he heard Ro sniffle behind him. He looked back at the human, who was rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "Are you okay?"

"It's just... your family is so, so nice. I don't deserve this. I'm not thriving."

Melias turned around and looked at Ro more closely. The human was hunched forward, eyes toward the floor, hands clasped together. He searched for the words that would bring the smile back to his friend's face, but they always sat on the tip of his tongue, never finding their way out. "N-no."

Ro looked up. "No?"

"I... what I mean is... no, you're wrong."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Ro mumbled as he walked past Melias and into the bedroom.

Melias gulped as he followed his friend in and closed the door behind him. Was this it? Was this the part where he fucks up and says something stupid and makes Ro hate him? His heart sped up, and anxious words tumbled out. "That's not what I meant. You're right about what you said earlier. I don't think very highly of myself, but I've had it better than you, and I'm still a wreck. You've gone through hell and you're still standing. So, Dad's right. That's thriving... or something." He shuddered, his whole body heating up. Great speech, Melias! Really motivating! "Sorry, I don't know what I'm trying to say."

Ro turned around and smiled, but his fur didn't bounce like it usually did. "T-thanks, but... it doesn't feel like I am."

"I-I know how you feel. Everywhere I look, it seems like everyone is getting on with their life while I'm sitting around, being scared of everyone and everything."

"Yep..."

Melias looked deep into Ro's eyes. "But you don't scare me. I feel safe around you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Aside from my family, you're the only one I can say that about."

Ro closed his eyes. He opened his mouth, but no words came. Instead, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Melias.

The crow gasped. Never before had he been so close to Ro. The human's head came to rest on his shoulder, right near his nose... and Melias could smell him. It wasn't a strong smell, and it wasn't a bad smell, but it was undoubtedly Ro's smell. His whole body trembled as he took another breath. Fuck, he was so warm. He was so hot. Hormonal need rapidly built inside of the crow. His insides quivered. He wanted to just push the human onto his bed and--

Ro jerked away. "Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry."

"Wh-what? No, it's fine!" Melias said. He already felt incomplete. His arms buzzed, and he had to fight to keep them from shooting forward and yanking Ro into another embrace.

"No, it's--I shouldn't have done... I... I'm just a weird, touchy freak. Sorry. Sorry."

Melias felt like such an idiot. Such an asshole. In his shock, he just stood there, stiff as a statue. Of course Ro felt rejected. But Melias could make it right. He stepped forward and threw his arms around his friend.

It was Ro's turn to gasp as the white crow held him close. A moment later, he embraced Melias, and the two stood together, gently rocking back and forth.

Melias took another breath. How he wanted to rub his beak on his friend's neck, to slide it into his shirt, to take in as much of his scent as he could. He shuddered as the human's fingertips danced up and down his back. His touch was so gentle. It was so soft. It was so caring. It was so right.

And then Ro suddenly broke the hug. He sat back on the bed and crossed his legs. Their eyes met for a moment before the human's eyes darted away. Ro's skin was redder than Melias' breakfast strawberries.

"A-are you okay?" Melias asked. Why was he acting like this all of a sudden?

"Yep! I'm okay!" Ro said, his voice a higher pitch than usual. "Ah, uh, well, sh-should we, um... do whatever it is we were doing? Like, you know, on the FPGA."

Fuck, he was so cute when he was flustered. Before Melias could answer, there was a knock at the door. He smiled. "Looks like we don't have a choice. Come in!"

The cardinal pushed open the door. "Hey! Ready to go?" He looked at Ro. "Whoa, you okay? You're redder than my feathers!"

"Oh, I'm fine! Just feeling a little, like, well... yeah, I'm fine." He rubbed the top of his chest and looked toward the wall.

Lairo looked at his son, both eyebrows raised. Oh, great, not Pop, too. Melias' heart raced as he tried to figure out what to say. There was nothing weird going on. It was just a little hug! Really, that's all. It meant nothing. So why was Pop still looking at him like that?

Melias cleared his throat. "Anyway, do you want to take a look at our program?"

"You bet!" The cardinal fluttered over to the desk with childlike enthusiasm, and for the next two hours, he shared his extensive knowledge with the teens. Pop definitely knew his stuff, and by the time the sky was dark, they already had a very rudimentary graphics system set up. "Damn, you boys are good! It took me a week to figure this out!"

Ro giggled. "You must not have had as good of a teacher."

"I had the best teacher--random posts on SegFault!"

Melias snorted a laugh. "Nothing from there has ever been wrong."

Lairo raised his hands. "What, you don't like reading programming advice written before you were born?"

Ro's giggling grew to full laughter. Melias looked at him and his rosy cheeks and that little tuft of red fur bouncing over his forehead, and it felt like his insides were melting. He wanted--needed--him. He was hurting to the point where he didn't even care that Pop was in the room.

"Ahh, well, anyway, thanks for the fun," Lairo said. "But I've still got some stuff to do and not a lot of time left to do it, so I'm gonna fly off now." He began walking out the door. "But if you wanna keep messing with it, feel free to come to me with a question. Talk to ya later!" He pulled the door shut behind him, leaving Melias and Ro alone once again.

"Well, I'm pretty much done for now," Ro said. "My brain is fried!"

Melias nodded. "Yes, mine too." But probably not for the same reasons as Ro.

Ro smiled and fell back on the bed. "Man... your parents are awesome. I love my parents too, but, well, they're so much older than me, you know? They take care of me, but they don't really understand me."

There he goes again, lying flat on his back. Melias' eyes slid back down to the subtle bump in the human's pants. It was driving him wild. What was in there? What did it look like? How would it feel in his mouth? In his cloaca? His legs tingled as he imagined climbing onto the bed and straddling him, sinking down on the human's stiff length...

"Hey, I just realized something," Ro said, sitting up. "Where am I going to sleep?"

Melias was usually good about not saying very stupid things. Unfortunately for him, that ability greatly diminished when he was horny. So when he blurted out "my bed," it felt like he had plunged into a frozen lake. And when the human's eyes popped open like a cartoon character's, sudden panic forced even more words out. "I-I'll sleep on the couch. I want you to be as comfortable as possible."

Wait, that actually seemed reasonable.

Ro visibly relaxed, but he still looked worried. "What? No, I can't kick you out of your own bed! It's fine, I'll--"

"No, it's okay. This way, you'll have as much room as you need to find a comfortable position."

"Melias, the couch was fine. I can't let you--"

"All the more reason that it's okay for me to sleep on it." For words that came out of the mouth without stopping off at the brain, his arguments actually sounded pretty good.

"Well... well..." Ro sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Okay. Thanks, Melias. Thank you..." He yawned. "So, uh... you wanna, like... do something before bed?"

Melias certainly wanted to do something, but he was pretty sure what he had in mind was not what Ro had in mind, so he walked to his television and turned it on. "What was that documentary called again?"

For the next hour, they sat together on the bed, watching a documentary about video game graphics. Melias was very lucky that it was so fascinating; had it bored him, sitting on his bed right next to his cute crush for an hour straight would have been a form of torture.

When the video ended, Melias shook his head. "Do you ever wish that you were older, so you could have been there when computers were new?"

Ro didn't respond.

Worry hit Melias for an instant, but it vanished when he looked down at his friend. The human was on his side, mouth half-way open, sleeping like a baby. Melias watched Ro's chest slowly rise and fall, and listened to his slow breaths. He looked so soft. So vulnerable. The world wanted so badly to hurt the human, but right here, in this room, he was as safe as he had ever been. And that made Melias feel alive. He wanted to reach over and stroke his friend's cheek... so he did. With his arm trembling, he glided the back of his fingers over the human's cheek. The pale skin was as supple and tender as it looked, and the thin layer of slowly growing red fur tickled the bird's digits. As he slid his hand back and forth, Ro stirred slightly, and Melias yanked his arm back, then froze. He watched for any sign of consciousness, but when none came, he exhaled and slowly rolled off the bed. Before stepping out of the room, he delicately pulled his blanket over the sleeping human.

"Good night," Melias whispered, his whole body buzzing with affection. He turned off the monitors, then flicked the light switch, covering the room in darkness. He waited for a moment, listening to a few more of Ro's breaths. "I love you," he said, as quietly as he could, then tiptoed out of the room. After he closed the door with the faintest of clicks, he chirped and brought his hands to his chest, a big, goofy smile plastered on his face.

But passion quickly gave way to melancholy. What was he thinking? Why would someone like Ro ever be interested in an ugly, boring, stupid white crow? Why was he even assuming that he was into guys? No, it was all just a foolish fantasy. Don't get greedy, Melias. You have a friend--a real friend--who really likes spending time with you. Don't throw it all away because you can't keep your heart under control. Please... don't chase someone else away.

He sighed and pulled a thin blanket out of the hallway closet, then plodded into the living room and fell backward on the couch.

"What are you doing?"

Melias shot back up and looked toward the kitchen. There, poking around the corner, face barely illuminated by his phone screen, was Dad. "Oh... I'm sleeping on the couch. I let Ro have my bed. I thought it would be more comfortable for him."

Cielan smiled. "Good thinking... very kind." He walked into the room, and leaned against the couch. "You two get along so well. I'm really happy."

"Y-yeah. We do."

The blue jay put a hand on his cheek. "You kind of remind me of Pop and I when we were your age."

Melias gasped, then covered his beak. "What? What do you mean?"

"Mel... you don't hide it very well. The way you rubbed his shoulders earlier..."

The crow groaned and pulled the blanket half-way up his head. "It's not like that!"

"Right. So, the way you two held hands, looking straight at each other's--"

"You saw that?!"

Cielan giggled. "Oh, and the way you looked at him during dinner. Pop noticed that too."

Melias pulled the blanket all the way over his head as his stomach churned. Was he really making it that obvious? Wait, if Dad and Pop noticed, did Ro?

"Sorry, Mel. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted you to know... we totally support you. It's just..." Cielan scoffed. "Really, I'm saying this more for Pop. When he and I started dating, he was so scared Grandpop would reject him. He didn't want you to feel like that. And I said to him... 'Lai, we're both men. Why would Mel worry about that?' But, well, you know how trauma can mess with a person's head."

Melias pulled the blanket down past his beak. "I... never knew that."

"We never told you. He was a different person back then. Very timid and shy. A lot of anger boiling under the surface."

Gee, where had Melias seen that before?

Cielan laughed. "But look at him now. He's almost too much to handle!"

"Yes, he can be very... full of personality. But Ro really likes him."

"Good! Good. I'm glad to hear it. So, then, how long have you two been together?"

Melias gulped. "We're not. I... haven't told him how I feel." Melias scrunched his face up, realizing that he just confessed. How was Dad always so good at getting information out of him?

Cielan furrowed his brow. "Wait, really? You held hands and gazed into each other's eyes, but you're not actually a couple?"

"No, we're not. I wish I could tell him, but..."

"But?"

"I'm... I'm scared."

"Oh, Mel. Come on. What do you have to be scared of? He's crazy about you too."

Melias nearly snorted. "Right..."

"I'm serious! It seems pretty clear to me. He was giving you some pretty long looks too!"

Every part of Melias wanted to believe his father, but it seemed too good to be true. It just... couldn't be possible. Romance is what happened to other people. And yet, now that Dad mentioned it, he did find some of Ro's behaviour... odd. The way he constantly turned pink after a close moment. The way he smiled after Dad's examination. The way he got flustered after they shared a tender hug. But... no. How could it be true? How could a good thing be happening to him?

How did Dad always make him believe the impossible?

"Anyway, I need to get to bed too. Oh, if Ro asks where the painkillers are, I left them on the kitchen counter. Good night, Mel. I love you."

"Love you too, Dad."

"And good luck with everything. I believe in you."

As the blue jay walked away, Melias sighed and pulled the blanket closer to his chest. He wished he could be in his bed, nestled against Ro's body, with the human wrapping his arms tightly around his feathery chest. It seemed so right, so perfect. He closed his eyes, and was back in his room, deep in his embrace with his crush... his love. Ro's scent filled his nose once again, and he shivered. The warmth of the human's touch spread through his body, soothing everything it touched... except his yearning heart.