FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

-THE DAY BEFORE VALENTINES DAY 2017-

-09:00-

The alarm starts to blare on Butters phone, not that one was needed as the squirrel has already been awake for half an hour, glued to the mirror trying to sort out their face/life in general for the night's plans. Sometimes Butters just needs a moment to sync their mind to the physical body they inhabit, their aesthetic fluctuates to such a degree it does them good to remind themselves who they are.

Butters is a Monster, a Non-Binary one to be precise, their pronouns are They/Them and they are a humanoid with features of a Western Gray Squirrel. The only give away being their visible ears, tail and claws, all intentionally a little unkempt in an attempt to regain their Monster identity. You could count their nashers amongst that too, if they didn't have an off-the-record date with a sander to make them more "Human presenting". You see the process of being visually monstrous has been a slow one, their look now sits somewhere in between not wanting to alienate Humans and needing to alienate them for the sake of their own mental health.

Not that Butters was wearing anything aside from their regular look; A crop top with a picture of an acorn on it, little leather shorts, massive-fuck-off boots to cover their claws and a new earclip on their unchipped ear. Combo'd with their new shorter haircut hoping to bring attention to said very expensive, earclip.

Although, this is neglecting old faithful: Their trusty gray dry dyed jacket. Slowly being built up with various patches they've sewn on over the years. The Non-binary flag on the right sleeve, the Screw Attack on the left, the random one for the US Mail, tho I think that came with the jacket originaly. They're particularly fond of the silly one of the peanut butter brand, sewn to the front. Remembering it now, they had found it down the charity shop, but who was this even for? They deffo were not sober when they sew it on. Looking beside themself, they also see the red bow attached to their tail, the fur of which they've chosen to let grow out.

This is the most anyone has cared about looking like they're a solid 50% on caring how they look, that's the niche Butters wants to comfortably sit at. I don't care, but also I spent hours editing my clothes and body to be how I like, but also I don't care. With this achieved in Butters eyes, they almost begin to vibrate with excitement as they rush out of their room, sliding down the stairs like a cartoon character.

?Let's go fucking mental, let's go fucking mental aaalaaa laaa laaaa~. Butters chants on their way down.

They announce to the audience they were expecting in the front room: All their friends ready and buzzing, however instead they entered the room to a sorry sight: Three absolute mugs lounging on the sofa with nary a hint of excitement at the thought of moving, thinking or generally living.

>A sheep (He/Him) staring into the void mouthing the same one or two things over and over.

>An Axolotl (She/Her) who's glued to her phone in a trance state.

>And the kitty! (She/Her?) Oh the kitty, laying down with their legs behind the other two covered in a blanket, with her face barely visible poking out from underneath.

-So uh... yeah, we all up for a good night tonight? Eh? Eeehhh?

Despite Butters' desperate invite for a response, all they got from their housemates were looks of exasperation. All the eehhh's in the world wasn't gonna lift the mood of the room.

-Chloe! My buddy, my sister, my partner in crime! You're up for a good one, yeah?

-Yeeaaahhhh, I'm maaad ferr it. Chloe softly replies before weakly lifting a single paw in the air, then promptly hacking her guts out, basically showing that in every way she is incapable of being 'mad fer it'.

-Geez what happened to you?

-The Sheep chirps up: She's hit her night out quota I reckon, she was out all last night, didn't get in till 4 in the mornin'.

-Awwwh Chloe for fucks sake, you promised we were gonna go mad this year! This is the first Valentine's we're both single in like a million years! Butters said, to which they meant five, five years.

-NAAAAAAAAAH it'll be fine! Slurs the cat still not facing Butters directly, nothing a quick nap and Ibprohpen can't fichsssssss.

The Sheep rolls his eyes.

-You really think you can manage two in a row like this?

-Yeahh mate, two in a row Terry, that's what they caaa- Chloe can't even finish her sentence before falling back to sleep.

Butters pinches the bridge of their nose. Ugh, they say, unable to come up with anything else to express their disappointment. They turn to The Sheep.

-How about you, Lousid? You're free tonight aren't you?

Suddenly the Axolotl that's been glued to her phone this whole time speaks up:

-Are you, Lousid? I thought you would've been super busy with your theyfriend and their girlfriend?

-Lousid sighs a little. Yeah Ell, that's theoretically how it should be, but it turns out they had booked tonight way in advance and it looks like there's no room for moi.

-They planned the WHOLE day without you? That's so bloody well rude! Can't you just third wheel your own polycule?

-OI! Butters interrupts, stop trying to thin the Valentine's party night roster, yeah?

-Well it wouldn't matter anyhow. Looks like they booked lots of table for two stuff, I don't think Sebastian and Amber... I don't think they factored me into the plans.

Louisd's speech drawls into a long sigh, in case the content didn't tip you off he's in a bit of a way right now. Butters peeks at Lousid who then slides his thumb around his phones home screen, which just happens to be a picture of him, a Tanuki and a Kitsune as his background wallpaper.

-Man that's rough, it'd probably be so much easier if you also liked women huh? Butters h-e-l-p-f-u-l-l-y supposits.

Lousid glares back at Butters with a look of death, conveying: 'Oh boy Butters, I've never thought of or agonised about that before!' Butters just looks down and closes up their body language a little.

Ell, with the tact of an oncoming truck, has something to say:

-Gosh this polyam stuff seems like a lot of hassle, you gotta book everything yeeaaarrsss in advance! If you can't ring someone up the moment you're bored then what's the point?!

Butters chuckles to themselves.

-Wow, that's cold. But hey, Ell, you're up for tonight right?

Ell immediately jumps from the chair and starts beating her chest.

-YEAH! she screams. VALENTINES TWENNY NINNY TEN'S GONNA BE THE BEST EVER!

Butters breathes a sigh of relief.

-Man, I'm so happy at least you're up for it!

Ell looks to them; confused.

-Why are you? I'm not spending it with you!

-WHAT!?

-Yeah, I'm spending it with my girlfriend, silly! Who else would I be with?

-Wuuhhh, Wuh, since when do yyouu have a girlfriend?" asks Chloe, who has managed to crawl back seconds of consciousness from her stupor.

-Since I dunno! Forever? Maybe? Replies Ell, her name is Marcidus and she's the best 'cos she hangs out with me!

-Wow. That's wild you can't pronounce most words but you manage 'Marcidus' just fine?

Ell turns to Butters, a little embarrassed.

-I... I had to practice saying it for months.

-This is the fffirst I'm hearin' of this, howss come we've never seen her? Asks Chloe, in the snottiest possible way.

-I dunno, you never asked!

-We didn't know she existed!

-Aaaahhh no excuse! I left genius context clues such as: sometimes not being in this house!

Chloe then slumps and drifts back to sleep sensing there was nothing of value to glean from this conversation. Butters rubs their face before getting back on track:

-Alright whatever, but you two: Lousid, Chloe, can I count on you coming out tonight?"

Lousid rubs his head in frustration.

-Wow Butters, it's not like some of us might not wanna be dragged along for your joyride last minute? We might, I dunno, have other shit going on?

-Aaaahh naaarrrr mate, they did waarn us plenty of time in aaadfaannssee she says while sniffing back an inhumane amount of snot.

-Several months in advance actually, Butters reminds her.

-Yeaaaa, I mean maybe they reminded ussh a lil too much, argues Chloe, sounding increasingly like she is full to the brim with snot, maybe a daily amount of too much.

-Not DAILY.

-No Buttersh, daily, Chloe then turns to Lousid. We aaall alsho know you ain't got nuffin going on.

Chloe chuckles into a barrage of violent coughs at the sound of her own Incredibly Funny Roast. Lousid rubs the back of his head.

-I guess but, I dunno what if.... either of them comes back and they wanna..?

Butters parks their butt on the arm of the sofa next to Lousid.

-Oh Lousid, Lousid, Lousid. They say as they start to play with Lousid's wool. Where are you gonna get in life if you keep putting everything on hold for those two?!

Lousid's body starts to recede, as if the gravity around him was pulling his limbs towards his chest.

-Listen, Butters continues, just come out for a few drinks, you can keep an eye on your phone and pop back anytime you want. Buuut if you ask me now's the perfect night to flex on them both and hook up with a nice lad, me and Chloe will help you out.

Ell, who had just been awkwardly standing in the middle of the room starts to dance around.

-Yeah, yeaah~ she chants. Show them meanies you can get can your soufflé with fries at any 'ol steak house you wanted.

The whole room was silent for a second to fully take that one in.

-See? It'll be great! So can I count on both of you tonight? asks Butters. Again.

Both Chloe and Lousid give half hearted confirmation, but whatever! That's all Butters needs to start getting excited; all there is left to do is get work over and done with, and the night can start!