FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Since his crash landing in the Mushroom Kingdom, Kinneas had received nothing but warm welcomes and friendly smiles, despite the royal embargo he had to face. His ship had been impounded, by decree of His Majesty Bowser of the neighbouring Koopa Kingdom, who had a covert group of agents that specialised in extraterrestrial technology.

The odd brown raptor who found him, another extra-terrestrial, helped him with the process of temporary asylum, by which the Koopa Kingdom delegates offered Kinneas a legally-forged passport, that was only effective for as long as his ship was impounded, but allowed him to work and find occupation for the time being. Luckily, the raptor James Kennidon had just the job for him.

"I need a Lavalava on table two, and a Fright Train on three."

"Yes sir!" Kinneas saluted. "Lava two, fright three!"

On the west side of Toad Town was a gay bar known as Roy's, a chain establishment owned by one of Bowser's sires, but currently run by James who wore slacks and a waistcoat. Kinneas wore the same clothes, his armour put in storage as he rushed around with a tray, the twisting goatee of his chin swinging with each trot.

Tables dotted round the central floor with curved sofas on the left, pool tables on the right, and the counter filling the north. There stood Mr. Kennidon, along with his husband Koopin and two other creatures on the stools. The raptor poured drinks from the rainbow of glass behind him, getting orders and passing them to his new temp.

The last of the stragglers were sipping their cocktails, giving the mole time to relax and observe the inhabitants. Piranha plants carried in their pots, short mushroom-headed humanoids and small armless goombas that waddled below his knee. It was a gentle summer night, the sky still blue with creeping yellow fingers on the horizon, as the last customer took their leave before James flipped the sign.

"Hoo, nice!" he rolled his arms. "Good work Kinneas, you're getting good at this!"

"Thank you," the mole bowed, "learning chemicals for fuel helped me memorise your ingredients."

"You picked it up faster than some folks I had round here."

"Awww c'mon FG," said a deeper voice, "don't rail on that kid again."

"He was a SHIT, he dragged his shell like he was taking a dive!"

"You'd know about dragging shells wouldntcha?" a third swarthy voice rang through.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Koopin squinted from the bar.

"I'm only suggesting that James is a vigorous lover and you're lucky to have him."

"We don't do it on the floor, not that it's your business."

"It's a gay bar," said the deep voice, "this is EXACTLY when it's his business."

Sitting at the counter alongside Koopin, was a taller black raptor with blue-ringed eyes wearing the guard uniform of Toad Town. A soft blue cape covered his chainmail, that rustled with each breath from his rippling thick chest that reminded Kinneas of a Zee-Wrestler's physique.

On the other side of the guard, a brown crocodilian sat with old ragged pants, a lithe athletic torso, and his left arm adorned with a hook and wired joints attached to a pauldron. He always smelled like the sea, sipping a hard ale with his wandering eyes fixated on James.

"Sooo, Kinneas yeah?" the black raptor nodded at him. "Whut sorta job you do?"

"Well," the mole sat down beside him, "I used to be in special ops."

"OH, my uncle's in that too!" the koopa raised his hand. "I wonder if you'd like him, though it's hard to meet up with him nowadays, Bowser's army's always up to something."

"Yeaaah, I was going to ask," Kinneas pulled out his passport, "so they gave me this, says I'm a Monty from Moleville, which...bit on the nose isn't it?"

"It's a real place!" James shuffled some bottles. "We passed it on the way to Merrymore for our wedding."

"They had AMAZING fireworks," Koopin sighed, "but the pyrotechnician looked a little young."

"She was like, twelve, but yanno, she knew what she was doing."

"So this Koopa Kingdom," the mole tapped the counter, "their king regularly kidnaps, the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, but you don't have any border security in place?"

"Yeah ah thought it wuz weird too," the guard shrugged, "this place is lahk hella chill, even the odd kidnapping don't mess with trade."

"Seems very odd to me, why not enforce some sort of airship patrol?"

"I don't think we have that," Koopin shook his head, "Koopa Kingdom has all the airships, we're better at ground troops over here."

"That means nothing if you can't control the sky."

"Yeah, but we have the Brothers," James smirked leaning on the bar, "two human freaks of nature who can run, jump and stomp better than any of us."

"Pffft, I can do that," the croc chipped in, "I can run along the rigging better than any hume can try, they don't got claws."

"Trust me, these two humans are something else."

"You're something else, it's a damn sin you're wearing a shirt keeping that sexy bod all locked up."

"You DO know he's married right?" the black raptor smirked at him. "Or you just wishing he ain't?"

"Now what be you implying, sir Roy MacGregor?" the croc leaned over Koopin. "You think I have some unsavoury agenda to my long-time fellow mutineer?"

"Ah KNOW so, Kruz, you ain't foolin' nobody."

"You committed mutiny?" Kinneas sat beside. "That's pretty serious, what was the reason?"

"Mmm, that's fer another time," Kruz waved his hook, "I'd rather talk about the fourteen kremlings that James toook below deck-"

"Okay are you going to bring that up every time?" James sighed refilling a drink.

"Youuuu know it," the kremling took it, "and your husband blushing tells me he likes it too."

"I-i was not!" Koopin blushed sitting up. "I-i was thinking of something else!"

"I knew bringing you here was a mistake," the bartender rolled his eyes, "sorry, he's always like that."

"I don't mind!" Kinneas put up his hands. "I'm just grateful to you and Koopin for helping me out."

"It's a habit," the koopa raised his glass, "but a good one."

"You got anyone waitin' fer ya?" asked Kruz leaning over. "A warm port to call home?"

"No, not at the moment."

"Mmmm, well if things go south I know a few guys who'd love to have ya."

"Oh yeah he has a real cute body."

James' comment made Koopin slowly turn, along with Kruz with their faces like Tragedy and Comedy. Roy took a moment to realise before palming his face.

"Youuuuu totally fucked him," the croc beamed wide.

"N-NO, no I didn't!" James sputtered.

"You absolutely fucked this cute little ass!" Kruz groped the mole. "And does your husband know?"

"YES, he does," Koopin tightened his beak, "it was...it, he's our guest, and we obliged, it was a perfectly consensual sitting!"

"Yeah but who was sitting on who?"

"PFFFT" Roy spat out his beer. "F-fuckin' DAMN, dude!"

"Okay look," the brown raptor refilled his drink, "I'm not gonna embarrass Kinneas, that's all you get."

"Well okay..." the gator took a long sip, "juuust one question, Kinneas whose cock felt better?"

"Don't answer that!"

"U-UHH, um!" the mole fiddled with his claws. "Well, that's very personal."

"DON'T ANSWER!" Koopin added cackling.

"Oh what, you worried James?" Kruz swivelled to him. "Cuz maybe I can take Sir Kinneas to one side and uh...show him whose bigger."

"Oh shut up," James rolled his eyes, "size isn't everything."

"That's loser talk and you know it, I got the biggest cannon round here, I know it."

"Nah you ain't."

Roy's side-comment made the crocodilian snap towards him. The alcohol was broiling in their systems as James put away the hard stuff when Kruz marched over.

"Care to repeat that, songbird?"

"Just sayin' thuh truth," the guard kept sipping, "don't start nuthin', ahm thuh law round here remember?"

"Hahah, no no no, you don't get to hide behind your shield after throwing down the gauntlet, not to a kremling. Let's see your dick."

"Wha-KRUZ!" Koopin stood up. "Don't be rude, this isn't that kind of-"

"Sh-sh-shhh, no no," James pulled him back, "this got fun all of a sudden."

"Wh-what?!"

The raptor smiled with a strange glee as the koopa reeled. Kinneas sat to one side quietly nursing, hoping he could stay out of it before the guard stood up.

"You really wanna do this?" Roy smirked.

"Why, scared of a little dick?"

"I ain't seen yours, so naw."

"Hohohhhh, alright!" Kruz put up his hand and hook. "I thought straight guys were a lot more scared of seeing other cocks."

"That ain't gonna work," the bigger raptor jabbed him, "you ain't askin' fer sex, you just askin' to get humiliated by a guy who's only ever had pussy!"

"And you're asking to get laughed at by your wife, when she hears you got a smaller dick than me, the swab who took an entire two decks of dicks, without fail, from guys all much bigger than you!"

"Mmmmm, really?" Roy squinted leaning down. "You wanna risk that? Think of yo' gay cred, you don't wanna lose that now do ya?"

"I won't," the kremling crossed his arms, "I never back down from a challenge, and I hope the jousting champion of Archades is not afraid to show his lance!"

"...alright!" Roy snapped his fingers. "Barkeep, hit me, ahma show this flotsam-ass bitch who's thuh biggest dick round here."

"SNRRK!" Kinneas chortled. "Sorry, you should rephrase that a bit!"

"AH KNOW WHUT AH SAID, alrigh' you know whut, YOU get to be referee!"

"Wait, what?"

"He's right!" Kruz snapped his fingers in turn. "Can't trust the lovey-dovey shellknockers."

"I'll have you know!" Koopin stood up again. "I was voted best referee at the Tour Guide Association softball game, three times running!"

"Yeah but you take my crewmate's dick like it's first prize."

"Hey," James pointed at Kruz, "I know you're tipsy, but don't talk to Koopin like you talk to me."

"Ehh...sorry," the kremling winced then pointed to Roy, "can I talk to HIM like that?"

"Oh yeah fuck that dude."

"HEY!"

"Gladly!"

"You KNOW what I meant, Kruz!"

Kinneas started laughing again, almost falling off his seat with a snorting cackle as Roy got another drink, gulping down a full mug to steel himself before unfurling his chainmail. The kremling waited to see his strong dark legs, packed with muscle beneath the greaves.

"No no, no," Kruz shook his head, "all naked."

"Whut, naw," Roy sneered.

"I'm only wearing pants, and you got all that armour, what if it constricts your blood flow? Wanna make sure every vein in that body's going full speed."

"Heh, fine, whutever."

Slipping off his chestplate, the raptor exposed his burly wide pecs and beautiful six-pack abdomen, the lights causing his dark scales to shimmer translucent blue in his muscular curves. Koopin and the mole blushed, the raptor seeing their faces as he flexed his thick biceps, his flaccid cock dangling beneath without a pair of balls.

"You lahk that?" he chuckled.

"Yes," Kinneas nodded, "you must have quite the workout regime!"

"High-school fullback fer three years, travellin' warrior fer twelve, an' town guard fer two, keeps me hella fit."

"Haha, that's quite a career path you have!"

"Better watch yerself FG," Roy struck a manly pose, "Koopin's tongue get any longer, ah might have to fend him off."

"Look," Koopin sighed, "if you're going to show off your body to me-"

"Ahm just teasin' you guy, don't sweat it.

Kruz followed suit, slipping down his pants to show his own reptilian slit, flowering open with a peeking mast. His legs were graceful and long, despite being shorter than Roy, and every step he took made Kinneas think he was about to sing.

"Alright pussy-lover," said the croc, "get yourself hard and the mole can measure us."

"Do I really have to do this?" Kinneas muttered.

"You're the only one who don't know us, yer not biased."

"That's fair, I suppose."

"Also uhhhh, let's make this interesting. What does the winner get?"

"Hah, you serious?" Roy giggled. "You wanna put money on this?"

"Nah, that's boring," Kruz waved his hook, "how about...if I win, YOU get to suck my dick."

"WHAT!?" Koopin clutched his face. "Are you-no, that's not, he's straight that's not fair!"

"So what, it's not gay unless balls touch, that's what Baldwin told me and neither of us got 'em!"

"That...makes, no sense, James!"

"Nope," the bartender stepped back, "this is Roy's fight, what do you say big guy?"

"You for real?" the guard stroked himself. "Alrigh', ah know whut you up to, you all think cuz ah don't love thuh dick, ahm gonna back out, ol' heterosexual Roy. Well ah think Baldwin's right, an' fer that, if YOU lose, sailorboy...you gotta not jerk off, or fuck, or get sucked, for two whole weeks."

"Hmmmmm! Alright." They shook hands. "Let's get crankin'!"

The mole was given a tape measure by James, as they watched and waited for the two to get hard. Roy closed his eyes and thought of his wife, biting his lip with a shudder to imagine her body, that round warm yoshi belly and her sturdy short thighs. With pumping twitch, his length grew between his fingers, the alcohol stifling his self-reflection and muffling James' snickering.

Kruz however licked his lips at his friend, digging his finger into the slit and coaxing his member out. The mole tried to take a scientific view, observing the odd anatomy as the kremling swirled his digits round the slit, sliding in and stroking himself within. Koopin clenched his thighs, rubbing his knees and taking more drinks to distract himself from the inevitable throb in his pants.

James could sense his husband's needs, leaning over to kiss his cheek and startle him, a soft bubbling giggle from the raptor's wiggling brows. In his time as bartender, James had memorised the exact point of inebriation that each of his friends had, tipping them a bit closer to happy-drunk with each serving.

The kremling was erect first, predictably so, a throbbing swell when his slit puffed wider and he gripped his veiny shaft with a bristling glans. Roy followed after, his black sturdy lance pulling back the foreskin at its full mast to reveal the luscious pink. The mole stepped up with professional mind and bent down between their legs, measuring them both to the centimetre.

"Roy iiiis...eight-point-one inches. And Kruz is...seven-point-eleven."

"HAHAAA, TOLD YA!"

"WAIT, WAIT!" Kruz shouted. "I'm not fully hard yet."

"Whut, bullshit!" Roy spat.

"Kheh...just wait...mmmmph...haaah."

With a further stroking as he dug into his slit, something forced his slit wider to reveal a thick swollen base, a crimson gourd dripping with liquid musk that spattered on the mole's face.

"O-OH! Oh that...i-is that normal?"

"Yeah," Kruz grinned, "go on, measure it."

"Whut thuh fuck, REF!" MacGregor threw his hands. "You can't count that, you already measured!"

"I mean, it IS part of his penis," Kinneas pointed.

"Nah nah nah, that's his balls, sum kinda internal thing!"

"No it ain't," the kremling spread his hands, "I got no balls just like you two, James can attest to that, he's very experienced with my anatomy."

"Iiii have to agree," the mole measured from the base, "resembles a canid knot to me and it puts him at nine-point-three."

"Thaaaank YOU!" Kruz took his bow. "Well, you know the rules, on your knees big guy."

"Roy you don't have to," Koopin shook his head, "this is silly."

"Mm-mmm, no." The black raptor stepped up with a sigh. "Ah know when ahm beat, mah parents never raised no quitter."

"Roy, seriously, ugh, you two are the worst."

"Should I...leave?" Kinneas still sat on his knees.

"No one's making you," Kruz rubbed the mole's head, "you can watch for a close up, I can see you tenting."

The mole smirked bashful, shuffling over to give Roy room who, thanks to his inebriation, was less bothered by the prospect of his first cock. The rosy spear throbbed before him, twitching with a drool of pre as the guard gently gripped his shaft.

"So this...BJ," he muttered, "do ah gotta do sumthin' special or just-"

"You've had a lollipop right?" Kruz chuckled. "Just the same thing. A nice, salty warm popsicle."

"Ugh...you're a real son of a bitch, you know that?"

"You bet," Kruz put the hook on Roy's head, "and now you're MY bitch, so start sucking like your wife does with you."

"Hah, funny."

Closing his eyes, the raptor closed his lips round the glossy head, suckling carefully to get accustomed to the taste. It was oddly tasteless to him, like licking one's arm albeit with an extra salty texture, a noticeable throb pressing against his teeth. Slowly he bobbed deeper, a clumsy tongue trying to swirl around the kremling's meat.

Kruz groaned with a happy sigh, rubbing Roy with his hand whilst Kinneas watched in fascination. His slacks started to tighten, fumbling with his crotch as he couldn't turn away from the guard pushing down to the hilt, his snout pressing on Kruz's belly, his lips kissing the base as precum trickled down his throat.

"Hhhhhhooooly fuck," James whispered, "he's actually doing it."

"I...th-that's," Koopin swallowed his cough, "that's uh...r-really-"

"The hottest thing you ever seen?"

"Yes."

They looked to each other, a guilty look over their faces with Kruz moaning louder. Roy slid his head back and forth, the spicy scent of a heated male infecting his nostrils with a strangely tantalising feel.

"Ohhhh...f-fucking shit," the kremling rubbed his head, "ohhh you straights are so fucking easy to turn into cocksuckers."

"M-mmmph, mmmmh!"

"Shhhh, just keep it up...that's a good boy."

The audible grimace in the raptor amused the watchers, as James pulled down his pants behind the counter with Koopin gasping up at him. The older Kennidon motioned towards Kinneas, then to the koopa who was turning beetroot with excitement, a few muttering whispers before they slipped over to the mole.

"Hey," James sat down, "enjoying the show?"

"Ohhh yes," muttered Kinneas, "this kingdom seems very liberated."

"Well, it's not always like this," Koopin giggled, "just something about these two gets me feeling more...horned up, than usual."

"Haha, it's alright, I'm enjoying myself a lot!"

"I bet you'd enjoy yourself more without them pants," the raptor grinned, "go on, work's over and it's kinda weird if only some of us are naked."

"That's true. Wouldn't want to mess up our nice clothes for work."

They started stripping together, James going first to put his waistcoat and slacks on the counter and expose his olive-scarred chest. Lither than Roy, but more muscular than Kruz, he hit a firm balance with a sprouting erection of 7 inches. Koopin followed in turn, taking off his shell to put aside, then pulling off his shorts, boots and tank top to show his smaller, slightly pudgy body with an adorable butter-yellow cock and balls of 6 inches.

Kinneas unbuttoned his shirt and slacks, showing his own staunch combat-ready bod of burly arms and firm abdomen, as well as a dangling pair of grey plums with a pink pulsing member around Koopin's length. Sitting opposite the koopa, the mole stroked Koopin, Koopin stroked James, and the raptor stroked Kinneas while they watched Roy keep sucking.

The kremling gripped the guard's head tight to start thrusting, panting with Roy's little grunts every time he poked the back of his tongue. A soft, moist slapping filled the air, the flat side of the hook pressing against Roy's cranium as Kruz fucked him faster, grinding his palate with every twitch of his member.

"Haaaah...ohhhh, damn you're a good cockslut for your first dick, your wife teach you some tricks?"

"Mmmrrrrr," Roy looked up with warning eyes.

"What, am I wrong? Or am I right? Tell you what, cuz I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you have my ass after you make me shoot. That sound fair?"

"Mmmmhuuuh," he rolled his eyes mumbling round the dick, "uhlruh, duun bih duu lun."

"Ohhh don't worry," Kruz winked fluent in Cocklang, "I'm already halfway there, you got a gifted mouth for a...what'd you call it, heterosexual?"

Roy smiled at the compliment, his beer-fogged brain starting to like the taste of a kremling's dick. The salty pre smeared over his tongue and thickened down his throat, the raptor starting to gulp with tighter sucks of his pursing lips rubbing Kruz's belly. The kremling bent over slightly, feeling that twitch in his thighs and the puckering of his slit behind the knot.

Finally he throbbed with a roaring shoot, hot jets of kremling kum spraying down Roy's throat. The raptor resisted the urge to cough, the hot salt infusion drizzling his tongue with a stinging heat that made his eyes twitch. Swallowing dutifully to the last drop, the guard popped himself off with a heavy pant, the last spurts painting his snout.

"Oop, sorry," Kruz sighed, "fuck that felt good."

"Yeah," Roy sneered flicking his tongue, "lahk drinkin' seawater outta yer dick."

"Hey, it's an acquired taste."

"YOU'RE an acquired taste," the raptor squeezed Kruz's rump, "now uh, you said sumthin' about havin' your ass, an' mah dick's still up."

"Ohohhh, yes sir," the kremling saluted, "I thought you were straight."

"I am," Roy stood up, "don't have to LIKE suckin' yo' dick or usin' your ass, you just offerin' to get me off."

"Khah, right," Kruz rolled his eyes, "alright, get over here."

The kremling lifted his tail, showing the puckered ring between his cheeks and a long grin inviting him over. Too horny to refuse, Roy lumbered over grabbing Kruz's thighs and shoving his cock against the hole, his primal mode on as as he jabbed for the ring and stuffed the head through.

Shutting out his heterosexual thoughts demanding to know what he was doing, Roy fucked his way inside Kruz causing the kremling to squeal in delight, moaning as he bent over the counter full to let the raptor ram him deep. The other three were astounded, watching the only straight male pound the kremling with savage frenzy, a snarling rasp from the black raptor's teeth when he stretched Kruz wide to the hilt.

"You, f-feel that?" he hissed. "That's whut you call a REAL assfuckin', bitch."

"N-NNNGH, AAAAH, AAAAAAH! F-FUCK, FUCKIN' YES, MAKE ME YOUR BITCH!"

"You already ARE!" Roy snapped. "Now shuddup an' keep moanin' you cocksucker!"

"Holy shit," James gasped, "I didn't think Kruz could do it."

"That's uh...different," Koopin throbbed in his meat, "and so much more hotter than I thought."

"Well," the brown raptor pulled him close, "I got an idea, how about..."

He whispered something causing his husband to shiver, a trembling arousal spurting from his length and onto the mole's fingers who kept stroking away. Kinneas was trying not to shoot early, already overwhelmed by the thickening male scents and the grunting moans that filled their ears. The sight of precum dripping between Roy and Kruz's legs was already making the three pulse, before James stood up seeing the kremling give a secret hand gesture.

It was time at last to give the hot straight what he deserved for being so damn sexy, said the gesture, as James swaggered up with pulsing sword ready to plunge between a pair of stone-tight cheeks. It was a generous gift Kruz had given, watching Roy's hips punching like a horse in estrus, his tail whipping violent until the brown raptor grabbed it.

"HEY, whut thuh-"

"Keep fucking him, I'm joining in!"

"Whut, you-HNNNRRAAAGH!"

The alcohol dulled his pain and senses, enough for James to stuff inside the guard's ass with little resistance. Despite his fangs baring back, a trembling shudder came through Roy enough from the odd, pleasurable feel of a spearing cock through his most sensitive depths. Lust overtook him, too incensed on fucking Kruz and how good his ass felt around his black halberd.

Koopin watched in wonder at his husband pounding his straight friend, driving to the root every time Roy pulled back to ream their kremling pal who whimpered in ecstasy. The crocodile clawed at the counter, almost sobbing at Roy's punching of his prostate that caused his swollen gourd to thicken up again, dripping hungry against the bar, spraying pre onto the stools.

"You know uh," Kinneas nudged Koopin, "there ARE two of us here."

"Wha-huh?" the koopa stammered looking back.

"Just, we can do more than stroking, I mean, your husband seemed alright with that, why should they have all the fun?"

"...hah, you know what? That's a good idea, Kinneas, I uh...well, I had you last time, so...want me to ride you?"

"I'd love that, Koopin." The mole offered his lap. "Hop on the Kinneas Express."

"Oh wow, on time and everything!" Koopin climbed up on him. "Is this first class?"

"Weeell it does come with a buffet, special hot cream!"

"Ooooh yes, my favourite!"

Koopin wiggled his butt above the twitching pillar, sliding himself down with a squeak and bouncing with every inch. Wrapping his arms round the mole, the koopa rode him firm, smacking his marzipan rear against the grey furry sac, hugging Kinneas tighter as spurts of pre lathered the turtle's walls. His eyes rolled up, the plapping of his bollocks on the mole's stomach making Kinneas feel warm inside.

The younger Kennidon pulled him tighter, panting against the mole's cheek and feeling his whiskers tickle him. While the raptors fucked like beasts, the koopa controlled his pace, already dribbling from his member all over the mole's chest and getting closer than expected. The visitor grabbed the koopa's cock, helping him towards his climax that made Koopin buck faster, grinding his folds harder against the twitching shaft.

The raptors kept thudding away, James stabbing against the once-virginal straight Roy's insides and savouring their powerful flex, whilst MacGregor flooded deep inside of Kruz with a swelling gush. Hot splattering jizz spiralled around the kremling's tunnel, drenching out partly to form a puddle between them.

James came second when his friend's orgasm squeezed his shaft, sucking it dry with a heated burst almost lifting himself on his clawtips. Stuttering bliss washed over Roy's back, the cum smothering James' cock when it dripped down against Roy's studly thighs.

This sight and sound alone sent Koopin and Kinneas over the edge, both of them cumming together as the turtle spattered the mole's chest and painted his goatee, whilst Kinneas filled him up inside to drool back down on his balls.

"Ohhhh, fucking yes," James whispered, "god your ass is amazing."

"Uhhh...thanks?" Roy muttered. "Ahm too drunk to think straight."

"I can tell from the cock in my ass," Kruz swished his tail, "your wife's very lucky."

"Yeaaaah uh...you wanna, pull out now FG?"

"Oh, sorry," James did so with a squish-and-spurt, "you okay back there cutie?"

"Y-yeah!" Koopin gave a thumbs up. "That...th-that was pretty hot."

"Same," Kinneas did the same, "it was quite a show, normally have to pay for that sort of thing!"

"Khah!" Kruz snorted. "I know that feeling, speaking of, Roy, howsit feel being a cocklover now?"

"Ehhh...nah." Roy pulled out dismissive. "Mah wife's still better."

"WHAT?! No!"

"Hey ah put up my end of thuh bargain, ahm not gay!"

"You're at least bi, dude," James elbowed him, "come on, I got some great mags to show ya-"

"Naaah nah, it's cool," the guard walked to the back, "gonna just clean up an' head back home, thanks fer thuh first-time experience."

"But...you..."

Kruz looked astonished, gesturing frantically to James who watched Roy head into the bathroom. The bartender wagged his finger and put it to his lips, motioning them all to follow once Roy closed the door.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck FUCK!" a muffled voice rumbled within. "God DAMMIT, this is why you gotta stop drinkin' at this damn bar, TWO dicks, really?!"

"SNRRK!" Koopin struggled.

"Awwww shit, this is...fuck does this mean, AM I bi now?! Hell of a time to learn that now in yo' thirties, god...no, we can't tell Yolanda, she'll never let me live it down, don't need mah wife tryin' to pry me fer details. Fuuuuck why'd it have to be FG to fuck my ass first, of ALL people?!"

"I thought he was your friend," Kinneas whispered.

"We're more rivals," James waggled his hand, "it's funny though."

"You know what's funnier?" Kruz nudged him. "YOU owe me five-thousand gil."

"Awww fuck off, no, I forgot about that, can't we just call it-"

"Nope, I always collect my debts, I'll be seeing you next time in Ivalice."

The kremling slapped James' ass to make him yelp, causing all of them to back up quick from the door and lounge at the bar counter whistling nonchalant. Roy sighed staring at the mirror, cleaning his cock with tissues as Kruz and James ribbed each other, Koopin kept between them as chaperone, and Kinneas sat down to rest his laurels.

"Well...definitely worse places to crash, if everyone is this friendly...wonder if they'd let me rent a house nearby for a vacation spot?"