Tired
Tired
Copyright Pyrin1701
Just some thoughts about life, the universe any everything, and how pointless love is.
Why should I care? Everywhere I look, I see people being selfish. I see people getting what they want. I see the beautiful ladies fawning over the arrogant assholes, the guys with the, "I'm awesome so fuck off" attitude. I see them being used and tossed aside, only to run giggling up to the next jerk to come along. I've seen the perfect one for me. So bright, so creative, so intelligent, and then I sat and watched as she grew bored of me like a new game. I invested 2 years, 3 trips across the country, and all of my heart into her; I gave her everything in my heart and soul, and worked hard to make even more to give her.
The last time I heard from her was the email telling me she didnt love me anymore, as if I had just got too boring. I've watched another girl I loved run back to the same jerk, over and over; and then turning on me, knowing how I felt, she used me to get to him once more. Persuading, thiveing, and then gone. Nobody gets what they deserve in this life; you get spoiled for being selfish, grabbing all the happiness you can greedily; or you get shortchanged for being a good person, because you care, you must be weak too. It seems to me, that caring is a weakness. Looking back, everytime I went out of my way to help someone I cared about, they took advantage of me, every time I tried to get close to someone I had feelings for, they took advantage of me, and every time I got hurt, it's because I cared. If I had a wish, a single wish, one magical, super wish, I'd wish I didnt care anymore; and for once, do something entirely, completely, selfishly for myself. Though, maybe it'd just be easier to wish to be happy . . .
I dont know where my life is going, but I dont like where it is right now, and the only one that can change it is me. Question is what do I want to change it to, and is it worth the effort?