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Just Another Normal Day At School

By CalexTheNeko

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Tony gave an exasperated sigh as he watched the clock slowly tick away. It wasn't anywhere close to time to get out of class. Heck, it wasn't even lunch time yet. But, as his teacher droned on Tony found it difficult to pay attention or follow along. It wasn't because he was a bad student, or even easily distracted. Despite being in third grade he was clearly on a fifth-grade level, maybe even middle school. The problem was that he was bored. The current lesson the teacher was giving? He had already done it. The homework she was going to assign tonight was already completed. Tony was at least a month ahead in schoolwork, which left him not much to do in actual school.

There was a reason for this. He had not always been the most studious of children. He hadn't done bad in school, but he also hadn't ever worked this hard. But certain extracurricular activities involving magic lessons from a trickster were contingent on him keeping his grades up in school. Said magic lessons took up a lot of time, which was great because something amazing always managed to happen, however, Tony couldn't do them until his homework was done. So, he had spent several recesses and weekends working to get as far ahead in class as possible to maximize how much time he could spend with his mentor.

But that brought him back to how bored he was. Hearing a lesson he had already taught himself (maybe with a little help from his parents) would be hard enough for anyone to sit through. As a child, who therefore had much better things he could be doing with his time, it was extra hard on Tony. For a brief moment he considered trying to practice some magic in class. Nothing too big. Maybe just some minor illusions or something.

He dismissed the notion. Magic was tricky. By now, he could cast spells on his own without any difficulty. However, magic didn't always work the way you wanted it to. Especially if you lost your concentration during the spell. If Tony was suddenly called on, or another student took notice of what he was doing, he might lose his grip on the spell and let it go wild. Then anything could happen! The entire class could wind up transformed into dragons! Or all the pencils might suddenly become sapient and start a plan to overthrow humanity! Or disco might make a comeback! No, it was too much of a risk. Tony had made this mistake once before and learned a very hard lesson about what happens when you lose control of a spell.

So, back to doing nothing. Maybe if he propped up his book he could lay his head down behind it and take a nap? No, there was no way that was going to work. Besides, he wasn't tired. He'd rather be outside, running around in the form of an animal, experiencing the world through its enhanced senses. He looked out the window with a wistful gaze and then abruptly went rigid as he saw something he had not expected.

He was barely visible from this angle, but Tony could make out his signature green cloak, the rust colored fur on the side of his body, and his tail sticking out from behind the tree. There was no doubt about it. It was a foxyote. And as Tony was fairly confident there weren't any other foxyotes running around the city in green cloaks, he knew who it was. For some odd reason, his magical mentor Kickaha had shown up at school. But why?

He got his answer soon enough. A small field mouse skittered across the school yard. The foxyote went perfectly still, almost as if he wasn't even breathing. The mouse got closer to the tree. And closer. Aaaand closer... and then Kickaha pounced! Though metaphorically this time instead of literally. He leapt out from behind the tree, revealing he was carrying a huge bug net, and swung the net down at the mouse, scooping it up off the ground.

"Ah." Now Tony understood. Kickaha was just getting lunch. It was mere coincidence that the prey he was stalking had brought him here.

With a satisfied smirk, Kickaha reached a paw into the net to retrieve his prize. Tony realized it might be time to look away. He didn't need to see the foxyote eat a mouse. But, something was wrong. As Kickaha reached his hand around inside of the net, his face betrayed his confusion. The mouse wasn't there! He was certain he had gotten it! And Tony, who had been watching, had also thought he had it. Where was the mouse then!?

"Squeak." Though too far away to be audible to Tony, Kickaha heard it loud and clear as the mouse he had been chasing scurried up atop his head. Kickaha quickly swung his net up, catching his own head in it as the mouse dove into the grass and ran off.

"Pfffffft." Tony tried to hold it in. But he couldn't manage. First it started as a snicker, and then burst into a full blown laugh as the entire class including the teacher turned to look at him.

"Tony, was there something you wished to share?" The teacher asked in an annoyed tone. Noticing where his gaze was she approached the window and looked outside.

Kickaha was gone. No doubt after freeing himself he had immediately given chase to the mouse. Now the place was abandoned. The teacher looked back at Tony and gave a confused look.

"Uh sorry..." Tony muttered. "Just, as you were reading it reminded me of something and I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sorry." Tony apologized twice. While most of the sentence had been a lie, the two apologies had been sincere.

"The ending to Romeo and Juliet made you laugh?" The teacher arched an eyebrow. "Where they die pointlessly."

"Well..." Tony's mind raced. He needed a good cover. Surely there was something he could think of that would explain it. It was one of Shakespeare's most well-known plays! So naturally it had been copied and parodied a thousand times! He just needed to think of one! But his mind had gone blank in a panic. "It was just a cartoon." He tried for an answer that didn't require a lot of explanation. "It was a parody, a sort of abridged version of the play. I mean it was only like a 5 minute segment and um... Romeo and Juliet survived their suicide attempts because... Romeo accidentally drank orange juice and Juliet tried to stab herself with a wooden dagger!" Hopefully none of the other kids would fact check Tony on this. "And then they made a big joke about how they couldn't actually die because it was a kids' show."

"I see." His teacher sounded less than convinced. But she didn't have any other explanation.

She hadn't even seen Kickaha. And even if she had, the only other person in the school who knew about Tony's relationship to Kickaha was a girl in second grade. And maybe his former second-grade teacher. It was unclear. She was a mouse now. She was dating a bear and they had moved in together. Tony didn't ask questions, so he didn't know how much she knew, but if she was happy like that he saw no reason to bother her.

"Try to stay focused and follow along. We're almost done with literature for the day." His teacher chided him as she returned to the front of the room.

"Yes Mrs. Ramsey." Tony replied back in a monotone voice. He likely wasn't going to pay attention, but he could at least avoid drawing attention to himself again. Besides, Kickaha was long gone. It's not like there was anything else out there to see.

Except--

As Tony glanced out the window, his mouth nearly hung agape at what he saw. A huge and elaborate construct. It reminded him of a certain board game he sometimes played. It was basically a Rube Goldberg machine. Starting out with a giant marble, or would this qualify as a boulder? It went along a track, hit a switch and set off a chain of events involving dominoes, a seesaw, and a giant plastic figurine of a man making a diving motion for just a few parts of it. Then, at the very end, was a large cage sitting atop a jagged pole. Directly beneath the cage was a piece of cheese.

And once more, Kickaha was hiding behind the same tree, this time holding onto a rope that seemed to be attached to a small flap holding the marble in place.

The entire thing seemed excessive. But Tony was starting to understand his mentor a bit better. He could hear him saying something like 'Why do things the easy way when you can do them the ridiculous way?' Still, Tony couldn't help but feel this trap was doomed. Sure, mice liked cheese in cartoons and the movies. But it wasn't actually their favorite-

Tony didn't even finish the thought before the mouse reappeared. It crept out of the grass and sniffed the air, clearly picking up the scent of cheese. It very, very slowly crept towards the cheese, looking around in every direction as if expecting some kind of trap or ambush. Which of course there was. But it wasn't as if the mouse could comprehend what the giant machine was. After all, if it could, Kickaha wouldn't be interested in it. Once nothing attempted to jump out at it, the mouse went for the cheese and began to nibble at it.

Kickaha pulled the string. The crazy contraption went off. The mouse seemed to freeze up in fear not understanding what was going on. Which was lucky for Kickaha, considering the thing took so long to go through all the different pieces that the mouse would have had plenty of time to escape. Finally, the diver was launched onto a switch, and the cage came crashing down to the ground. The mouse had successfully been captured! It looked like Kickaha was getting his lunch after all.

"Squeak?" The mouse looked around confused at the cage that now surrounded it. Then it quickly grabbed the cheese in its mouth, climbed through a hole in the cage, and took off running into the grass again.

Tony barely managed to avoid bursting into laughter again. If he hadn't been in class he would have. It seemed that Kickaha had reproduced that board game on a larger scale perfectly, but hadn't accounted for the bigger holes in the cage. In hindsight it was obvious the cage should have been normal size, or at least made with smaller holes, or maybe even no holes.

Kickaha grumbled to himself as he walked out from the tree and examined the machine. He kicked the side of the cage before slowly lifting it up. He was trying to put it back in place. A normal human wouldn't be able to reach the top of the pole, so the three- foot Kickaha didn't have much of a chance unless he climbed the pole. Doing so while lifting the cage with one pawproved difficult, and he lost his grip and was knocked down to the ground as the cage slammed down around him. Unlike the mouse, Kickaha was not small enough to fit through the holes. He sat down on the ground fuming with his legs crossed and his tail thrashing.

In theory, Kickaha was actually a good mouser. But Tony wasn't sure he had ever actually seen the foxyote successfully catch a mouse before. And yet, he had to be succeeding on his hunts normally, because he surely wasn't starving to death. That, or there was some kind of rodent-based restaurant that Tony didn't know about. It felt unlikely, but he wouldn't cross it out as impossible. Either way, it didn't change the fact that Kickaha should in theory be good at catching mice... and Tony always saw him fail at it.

Really, there was only one possible explanation.

Things had gotten quantum.

Tony had no idea what that actually meant. He was pretty sure the word 'quantum' had something to do with time, but other than that it was beyond his understanding. However, he remembered something from a science lesson where the teacher had gone on a tangent and talked about something 'quantum' related and how observing something changed the result. She had then laughed and told them all they wouldn't have to worry about stuff like that till college. Tony didn't understand the entire thing.

But, if the results could be changed by something being observed, then maybe that meant Kickaha was this strange phenomenon known as quantum. When no one was there to observe, Kickaha likely caught mice easily and soon had a full belly. But once others were watching, the outcome changed. Not only would Kickaha fail to catch the mouse, but things would get more and more ridiculous as he continued trying. Clearly, this meant that Kickaha was a quantum lifeform. Or was Tony the quantum lifeform, observing and therefore changing the outcome?

It sure would have been nice if his teacher had gone into more details than the brief tangent that one time. It was something definitely not covered in any of the third-grade textbooks, so Tony really had no idea it worked. He supposed in a way it was probably like magic. It just worked, and no one could explain why.

Back outside, Kickaha had remembered that he was in fact strong enough to lift the cage, as he had done so before it fell on him. He grabbed one end of the cage and lifted it up just high enough so he could get out. As he did, the giant pole began to tilt to the side, and then it toppled over completely onto the rest of the strange system of machines. A second chain reaction went off, but this one was far more destructive, as the entire construct fell apart.

Kickaha darted left and right, dodging pieces of the machine as they fell all around him. The cage itself was flung from the pole and nearly landed over Kickaha again. He dove to the ground and rolled to the side causing the thing to just miss him. By this point, the entire machine was in shambles. But as Kickaha picked himself up and dusted himself off, he could at least be satisfied that he was unharmed.

And then the figure of the diving man fell from the sky and landed on top of Kickaha.

Kickaha wearily crawled out from under the figure, and muttered something as he got up.Tony obviously couldn't hear it from inside the classroom, but he could guess it was something like: 'Yeah, I brought that on myself.'

At this point, laughter broke out throughout most of the classroom. Tony quickly looked around and saw that there were several students looking out the window now. They had seen the entire ordeal! This was terrible! Everyone was going to know! Know!

Well, actually, they wouldn't know anything. It's not like Kickaha was actively using magic right now, that anyone would know he was a hybrid species, or that Tony was taking lessons from him. There actually wasn't anything he had to worry about being exposed. There weren't any embarrassing problems, and realizing that Tony allowed himself to chuckle.

"Class! What is the meaning of this!?" Mrs. Ramsey asked. "You should be paying attention! What are you all staring at!?" She walked over to the window and stared out. Okay, this might be trouble. If she saw Kickaha, she might call animal control, and then some poor man just doing his job was going to have a very interesting day. But asMrs. Ramsey looked out the window, nothing but confusion appeared on her face. Tony supposed it was definitely a strange sight.

Except--

There was nothing unusual to see. Both Kickaha and the giant construct were gone. Kickaha must have gotten that cleaned up really fast. There was no sign of the giant board game or the foxyote having ever been there at all.

Mrs. Ramsey turned away from the window and gave a suspicious look at the class. As she did, Tony and the rest of the class saw Kickaha run across the yard holding handfuls of what looked like sticks of dynamite. What was he going to do with those? A lot of the students gasped, but when Mrs. Ramsey turned around, Kickaha was gone from sight again. As she returned to staring at the class, Kickaha reappeared yet again, this time balancing a very tiny wedding cake, an archway and a tiny dress. The entire class was now watching with bated breath to see what would happen.

"Class, I don't know what's going on, but we should get back to the lesson at hand." Mrs. Ramsey sighed. She didn't understand what had gotten into them. It felt a bit too early in the day for them to be getting antsy unprovoked. She returned to the front of the classroom but stared at the class suspiciously as if she thought that they might be up to something.

Tony could hardly blame her. Somehow, through sheer bad luck, she had missed sight of Kickaha every time. From her point of view, the class had to just be losing it. Maybe she too was changing events by observing them, causing Kickaha to go missing each time she went over to check.

Once Mrs. Ramsey had returned to the front of the class, Tony glanced out the window. He was not surprised to see Kickaha was back. He was starting to get an idea of how this 'quantum' thing worked.

Kickaha had gotten to work with the supplies he had picked up. There was a tiny mouse-sized wedding ceremony set up with all kinds of decorations, a cake, an archway, and a fake mouse built out of dynamite sticks wearing a wedding dress. This was something straight out of a cartoon! There was no way it would work! Kickaha had to know that! Or... Did he know that because there was no way it would work, that meant it was guaranteed to work? Tony wasn't old enough to properly study probability in his math lessons yet. And when he finally was, his math teacher was likely to have disagreements with him.

The entire class was trying to watch what was unfolding without drawing attention from the teacher. She was currently going over an explanation of the play's ending and hadn't noticed she had lost the class again.

The mouse reappeared. It slowly glanced over the entire scene, taking it all in. It had already beaten Kickaha twice, so it had to be feeling confident as it slowly approached the tiny wedding set. Then the mouse began to sniff around a bit. It went to the cake first and took a tiny nibble of it. Then it looked at the archway.

At this point Tony had a suspicion. So he decided to risk a little magic after all. He quickly pulled his hoodie up over his head to conceal as much of it as possible. Then he began to mutter under his breath as he focused on a spell. He just wanted a slight change. Very gradually, his ears got pointier, and soon were covered in brown fluff. Then they grew out larger. He had replaced his normal ears with cat ears. He made sure to keep them hidden beneath his hoodie, but now his sense of hearing had drastically improved. He could actually hear what was going on right now. And just as he suspected, music was playing outside. Kickaha hadn't taken any shortcuts on this little fake wedding. Except for guests, it had everything, and the observant class might qualify in this case

The mouse glanced around the wedding. It seemed unsure. Was it getting cold feet? Did the mouse not want to get married? It was possible. Who knew what point of its life cycle the mouse was in? It might have just moved out and gotten its own place, and was just discovering its own identity and wasn't ready to settle down yet. Or maybe the bride wasn't its type! Tony had no basis to actually know the mouse's gender or sexual identity. Still, the mouse studied the wedding scene for a few seconds, and then immediately ran off, ignoring the entire thing.

And Tony realized, it might be possible that the mouse was in fact just a normal mouse, and had no idea what a wedding was. All it found was a bunch of random objects with no meaning and a lot of noise. The only thing that had caught its interest was the cake; that made sense, what with it being a normal mouse. But apparently it didn't care for it and skittered off.

"I don't know why I thought that would work." Kickaha came out of hiding and glanced around at the mock wedding. He went and picked up the fake bride that was made out of the still-lit dynamite. "Maybe I've spent too much time around kittens." He shook his head. It looked like he was going to have to clean all of this up and try something else. His shoulders sagged. But when it came to the pursuit and capture of nutritious rodents, Kickaha was nothing if not persistent. Eventually, lunch would be his! Preferably before dinner time.

He stuck the fake bride into a cloak pocket and began to clean up the various items. Then his ears perked; he took the bride back out of his pocket and quickly extinguished the fuses with his fingers.

"Well, that would have ruined my day." Then he put the bride back away now that it was no longer in danger of exploding.

There was a collective groan from the classroom. All of them had been expecting the foxyote to blow himself up. Tony felt a little disappointed in them. Sure, it would have been hilarious. But that was his magic teacher! And exploding was dangerous! Kickaha had received a number of injuries in the past, and Tony himself had gotten to meet a very irritated veterinarian that Kickaha frequented because of said injuries. But exploding wasn't the type thing you bounced back from. So this outcome was for the best.

"Class." Mrs. Ramsey reacted to the collective groan from the class thinking it was aimed at her. "It's not that hard. All I'm asking for your homework is for you to write why you think Shakespeare chose to have the story of Romeo and Juliet end in tragedy. I only need one paragraph and there aren't exactly any wrong answers."

"Mrs. Ramsey!" Tony threw up his hand. As entertaining as it was watching Kickaha do his thing, it could only last so long before someone among the teachers and faculty saw. And as much fun as that could be, he had learned a hard lesson about involving the entire class in magic. "Can I use the restroom?"

"Well, I hope so." Mrs. Ramsey replied. "But that's not really any of my business."

"Ugh." Tony sighed. Mrs. Ramsey was one of those types of teachers. "Mrs. Ramsey. May I go to the restroom."

"Yes, take the hall pass and go." She gestured towards a small, laminated card on a lanyard hanging on the wall next to the door.

"Thank you!" Tony rushed to grab the hall pass and exited the classroom. Hopefully, anyone who saw him in a hurry would just assume he really had to go. The real trick was going to be getting out of the halls and into the schoolyard so that he could talk to Kickaha.

Of all the various spells Kickaha had taught him, you would think that Tony would have picked up some kind of telepathy or astral projection or something to let him talk from a distance. Alas, he had learned no such spells. He didn't know if Kickaha didn't have any of those in his repertoire, or if he had just not gotten around to teaching Tony yet. Or if he had made a point of not teaching Tony yet.

But that was fine. Tony had been presented with a problem: Get outside without being seen. He had a hall pass, so he wouldn't be stopped by anyone in the halls, but if anyone saw him heading outside that would be a problem. To make matters worse, the school had security cameras. So even if he didn't get caught going out now, there was the chance of being caught on video later. And, he wasn't sure they were going to accept 'I had to stop my mentor before the entire school wound up turned into foxes,' as an excuse.

Kickaha had been a surprisingly good teacher when it came to problem solving. His methods were unorthodox and oftentimes needlessly complicated for no reason at all, but he did know how to think outside the box. And Tony was learning as he went along. Heck, as bad as he felt about his mistake, he was proud of his quick thinking during his little field trip experiment to get the entire class home safely. Whatever your problem, there was always a way. It may just seem completely nonsensical at the time.

First off, Tony decided he needed to go to the restroom. If anyone did see him in the halls, and if anyone reviewed the cameras, that would confirm he had been in there at the time. Of course, that meant he couldn't be seen leaving the restroom or the school. Or more accurately, Tony couldn't be seen.

Once in the restroom Tony ran to a stall and climbed up on top of the toilet. Thank goodness he had shoes on. He couldn't imagine how disgusting it would be to put a bare paw on the toilet. Clothes sometimes had their advantages.

From here, Tony could reach a vent. A small rectangular one with a metal grate. Tony carefully pulled down on it from the top. The top screws were loose while the bottom ones were solid; this allowed it to create a small platform that a small critter could stand on, as long as they didn't weigh too much.

This was not the first time Tony had done this. Actually, he and his friend Sophia from second grade had by this point explored the entire ventilation system of the school. For purely noble purposes, of course. The two would never, ever even think of using magic at school just to have fun and see what they could get away with. After all, some things could be done without thinking about it.

Now came the tricky part. Tony had to assume the form of a small animal to get into the vents. But, he was going to lose his clothing when he transformed. Hopefully, people had enough manners not to try to look under a stall; but if they saw a pile of abandoned clothes there, it might raise questions. Also, Tony couldn't just drop his clothes on the bathroom tile. That floor was gross, and he was going to have to wear them again when he was done. Instead, he stripped naked in the stall, except for his footwear. He had taken to wearing as little as possible to make it faster to get dressed and undressed when he needed to use magic.

First thing was to shove his hoodie into the vent. It wasn't really hoodie weather, but the hood let him do things like hide when he gave himself cat ears. Then he neatly folded up his shirt first before shoving it into the vent as well. A moment later he did the same with his shorts. As for his shoes, well, since he didn't want to touch the bare toilet, he'd keep those on. He'd simply shrink out of them and leave them sitting atop the toilet tank.

Everything taken care of, it was time to cast the spell. Tony grabbed onto the edge of the grade with both hands as he began to focus. He needed a form that was quiet and stealthy. A mouse? No, that was too small, there's no way he'd be able to get any doors or windows open. Plus, it'd be super awkward if Kickaha mistook him for his prey, and Tony had to quickly change back to normal in the yard where his class might be watching. What else was there?

Squirrel wasn't much better. Great climbers, but how to get outside? At times like this, it was best to stick to the classics. Tony quickly shrank in size, his feet slipping out of his shoes and socks as he clung to the grate. Fur covered his entire body quickly, his ears moved upward forming more triangular shapes, and a sleek tail grew from his spine. He felt tiny little claws come into place, which he used to grip the grate. Once small enough, he pulled himself up and slipped into the vent.

He was a cat. Specifically, a black cat, to be harder to see. While it might seem crowded for a cat, Tony had no doubt they would be capable of running around these vents full speed with no issue. Cats seemed to have different rules about how they existed in space and time. Tony was still a kid though, which meant he was a kitten, and kittens were significantly smaller. There was no trouble whatsoever.

The kitten Tony turned in place, hooked his claws on the grate, and pulled it back up so that the hole was covered. If anyone saw the grate down, they might actually screw the top parts back in... and that'd make getting back a little difficult.

With the ease of someone who had done something a million times, Tony navigated the ventilation system of the school. He had a solid map of it in his head by now. The only thing to figure out was the best place to get outside. As a cat, he could easily jump on a door handle and open it, but the heavy doors leading outside that had to be pushed might be more than he could handle. And turning into a bigger animal to do it was going to have the whole caught-on-film problem.

The solution to that problem was gym. He went above the male locker rooms. Either would have worked, but Tony was a good kid. There was a door leading outside for when classes were outside. There was typically at least one class outside at all times except for during the coach's planning period. The door here was just as heavy as the ones he couldn't open. But, there were no cameras in the locker room.

Tony pushed on a grate and it fell open, the two top screws loose while the two bottom ones held, creating another platform. Tony and Sophia had been very thorough on their explorations of the vents and made sure there were plenty of easy entrances and exits.

Now, Tony crouched quietly and listened. He could simply jump down and assume human form and open the door. If he got caught, well, being naked in the locker room was a lot easier to explain than the main hall. But if he was lucky, he wouldn't even need to change forms. Because he had another reason for choosing the locker rooms other than the lack of cameras.

Kids had to use the restroom. And for gym class, the closest restroom was on the far side of the locker room. That meant that someone else would open the door coming or leaving if Tony waited long enough. Of course, while he waited, there was no telling what Kickaha was doing. Hopefully there hadn't been any destruction of property yet.

Tony's ears twitched as he picked up the noises coming from outside. Cats had a great sense of hearing. He could tell how far away the class was from the door, and if there was anyone nearby. If someone was close by or coming, he'd stay a cat. If he didn't hear anyone nearby he'd temporarily take human form, or maybe a humanoid cat form to open the door.

As he waited, ears perked, he heard someone coming closer. They weren't talking, but he could hear the grass crumble underneath their sneakers. Now, was it a boy or a girl? What locker room door were they going to open?

It was a boy! The door swung open and a kid entered, swiftly walking past the vent without noticing it. Tony wasted no time in diving down and slipping through the door before it could close. And with that, the hard part was over. He had successfully escaped from school. Even if someone saw him now, they'd just think he was someone's pet or a stray that had wandered onto school grounds. Worst that could happen is someone called animal control. An unlikely scenario, but Tony had sat through two very lengthy and entertaining lectures about how to deal with them. Apparently, Kickaha ran afoul of them a lot.

Kickaha! There was no time to waste being proud of himself for escaping. He had to get around to the side of the classroom the foxyote was on. He ran full speed, and came around the corner just in time to see yet another strange sight.

Kickaha was standing above a small hole in the ground, his whole body tense. That made sense. He was clearly waiting for the mouse to emerge. And he was still easily identifiable by his fur pattern, unique markings and green cloak. But now he held a huge hammer, ready to strike. And he had long ears, huge hind paws, and buck teeth. Why had he turned into a rabbit? What the heck had Tony missed while he was escaping the school?

Tony crouched around the corner, in a spot where there were no windows. "Kickaha!" he hissed. Another benefit of magic, you could turn into a talking animal instead of a normal one when needed. Wait, could people become animals without magic? Probably. The world was a weird place.

It wasn't hard to get Kickaha's attention; the rabbit's long ears weren't just for show. They twitched, and Kickaha turned to look at Tony, just before the mouse hopped out of the hole and dashed away in the other direction..

"What is it?" Kickaha was clearly irritated, even without knowing that his prey had escaped yet again.

"Just... Come over here!" Tony hissed before backing further around the corner to make sure they wouldn't be seen.

Kickaha started to shout something... then caught himself. He dropped the hammer and took one deep breath, and all the tension seemed to leave his body as he exhaled. "Sure," Kickaha shrugged, and hopped over. He didn't know what this was about. But he always tried to make time for his students. It was pretty easy too, since he only had one.

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked Kickaha.

"Lunch, of course." Kickaha spoke as if it would be obvious. "I'm having fast food... if I could just get it to slow down."

"Right." Tony muttered. He caught the pun. But refusing to acknowledge it gave it less power. "But why-" Tony started to ask, then looked over Kickaha again. "Why are you a rabbit? And what's with the hammer?"

"It's a mallet." Kickaha corrected. "I have it on good authority that it's an excellent tool for stunning mice with."

"Where did you learn that?" Tony tilted his head.

"Heard some kids singing about it the other day. Little Bunny Fru Fru hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head."

"That's not advice, that's an old nursery rhyme and... Wait?" Tony swished his tail in irritated confusion. "What part of that made you think you needed a mallet?"

"Well, what else would you bop people on the head with?" Kickaha asked. "I mean, I'm not going to use a club! That'd be unnecessarily cruel. And not nearly as funny."

"You know that song ends with Bunny Fru Fru getting turned into a goon, right?" Tony paused. "What is a goon?"

"Cannon fodder, mostly." Kickaha smirked. "Maybe I can invite you to game night sometime and show you one in person. But... Not quite yet."

"Wait. You have a game night? And I'm not invited?" Tony sounded hurt.

"The thing is... Well..." Kickaha put a paw behind his head. "Weird and strange things tend to happen wherever I go."

"I'm aware, that's why I'm concerned about you being at school." Tony spoke bluntly.

"Right, but I'm not the only source or target of chaos in the universe and well... One of the other players... I'm not sure you're quite ready for him yet." Kickaha tried to come up with a way to explain it. But, how did you tell someone that every law of physics, every basic fact about how the world worked, everything they knew, was contingent on who was there at the time? The fact that around a certain other kitten, the laws of the universe functioned completely differently, was something Kickaha didn't think Tony was ready to deal with yet. He was pretty sure once Tony got involved in that, then Tony would also become a target for the universe's chaos. "It's just... Too much chaos in one place." Kickaha finished with that.

"Well now I just really want to go." Tony sighed. "But not the problem."

"Right." Kickaha nodded in agreement. "The problem is that mouse." Since the mallet plan was out, Kickaha changed back to his normal form. "So far nothing I've tried has worked. At first I was worried it might be a clever mouse. It's barbaric to eat clever animals! Not to mention deeply unappetizing once you find out."

"Yeah, I understand. Don't eat anything that's sapient." Tony nodded. He was still going to stick to eating the meat his mom bought at the grocery store.

"But, the mouse isn't intelligent at all. I mean it is, but it's not." Kickaha threw up his paws. "It's just a normal mouse, not a clever mouse, but it is clever for a mouse if you get what I'm meaning."

"It's a normal mouse but it's tricky." Tony stated in a monotone voice.

"Right!" Kickaha agreed. "But, now that you're here, and in the form of a cat and..." Kickaha narrowed his eyes. "Wait. Are you skipping school?"

"I got permission to leave the classroom." Tony said what was technically true. And to be polite, Kickaha didn't call him out on the obvious use of very exact words to avoid lying.

"Anyway, I have an idea involving a giant pinball machine. But it's so big it needs a separate person to operate each flipper. Together, we can herd the mouse into the machine, and then launch a ball and-"

"I'm not out here to help." Tony interrupted. "I came out here because you're making a huge scene. Everyone in my class is watching you."

"Yes, and?" Kickaha didn't seem to see the point.

"And you're a beacon for chaos and weird stuff." Tony stared at him blankly. Feline forms were very good for doing that.

"Well, that's not news." Kickaha shrugged.

"A beacon of chaos and weird stuff at my school, where I'm supposed to be keeping the whole magic thing a secret and not having a second incident like Operation Field Trip." Tony couldn't believe he had to explain.

Sometimes Tony was certain that Kickaha's obliviousness to the nuances of human society was all part of his act, to put people off their guard and provide plausible deniability. Sometimes Tony was sure that Kickaha really was that clueless. And then there were the usual times like these, where there was no way of knowing. Tony wasn't even sure that Kickaha knew.

"Oh, I see your concern. You think something big and weird is going to happen just because I'm here and it'll spill over into chaos in the classroom and maybe expose your magic. It's fine, I've told you about how people will just refuse to believe in things that they already 'know' aren't real."

"Kickaha, the school is full of kids, like me, who aren't as stuck in their ways." Tony narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, but that only goes so far for most of them. How many of them even remember that time I was on the school board? I still think the dragon bus drivers were my best idea."" Kickaha crossed his arms. "But... I understand your concern. However, I'm only getting lunch. Just to make you feel better, no magic or ridiculous contraptions. I'll just stalk it like normal, then nothing will happen."

"So..." Tony felt like he should tell Kickaha just to give up and go for another mouse. He knew he wouldn't. Kickaha had his pride. It only applied to very strange things and skills... but it was there. "You're sure nothing weird will happen?"

"I will not cause anything weird to happen." This time it was Kickaha's turn to use exact words. Fair was fair.

It was at this point that the clouds in the sky parted as a floating rotating disc appeared directly above the school. It was an actual flying saucer, right out of a comic book.

"For the record, that doesn't prove anything." Kickaha stuck his tongue out playfully. "Aliens abduct way more people than me. But they don't actually like probe people. I'm not sure why people keep saying that."

"Kickaha, there is a UFO above my school." Tony tried to get Kickaha's mind on the task. "I need to know how concerned I should be about that."

"Oh you probably shouldn't be-" As Kickaha spoke, a green light shot down from the UFO. Then, slowly, something started to float upward towards the saucer. Something small. Specifically, a very familiar-looking mouse.

"Hey!" Kickaha shouted. "You can't just snatch a foxyote's lunch like that!" Kickaha ran after the mouse, leaped to try to catch it, and only wound up being caught in the same green light. Both the mouse and Kickaha disappeared into the flying saucer and it flew off.

"Well, that happened." Tony stared blankly up at the sky. So aliens were real. That was a bit to take in. But they had kidnapped his mentor! He had to do something or- "Who am I kidding? He'll be back before school is out."

Tony turned and ran back to the locker room entrance. He hid in some tall grass till the door opened again, and quietly slinked in without the opener knowing. One clear, he nimbly climbed and jumped up to the vent and pulled the grate shut behind him.

A few minutes later, Tony was back in the bathroom stall, human again, and finishing getting dressed as he pulled his hoodie on. He returned to his classroom. He never thought he'd be glad for a return to normalcy.

But the entire classroom was abuzz when he showed up.

"Tony! Tony! You missed it!" Another classmate shouted. "That strange fox chasing a mouse? Aliens showed up and abducted both of them!"

"Foxyote." Tony corrected without thinking and he returned to his seat.

"Everyone calm down!" Mrs. Ramsey looked out the window. Of course there was no sign Kickaha had ever been there. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but it's time for lunch and recess. Hopefully, you can burn off some of that energy and stop getting distracted by random leaves and blades of grass out the window." So it seemed Mrs. Ramsey still hadn't seen any of it. Or maybe she had and simply forced herself to not believe it. Tony couldn't be sure.

But for now, it was back to normal school. And it was lunch time too! Tony had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with his name on it! Honestly, who would want a mouse when you had things like PB&J?

The End