FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Logan blushed as he looked at himself in the mirror, the lion could barely recognize himself with most of his mane sheared off, cut into a short hair style. Most male lions really prized their manes, even treating it like a sort of status symbol, so some would consider what he had done sacrilegious! If that wasn't enough, he was also wearing an outfit his friend Charla had helped pick out for him, a loose fitting long sleeved pink shirt that hung off one of his shoulders and a pair of denim short shorts. The lion had never worn anything like this before, but he liked it.

Logan has always had an interest in fashion and feminine styles, but he had never had the courage to wear something so openly effeminate. The most he had managed was painting his claws, usually black. This was a big step in a direction he has wanted to take for some time, but perhaps not the biggest step he would take today as turned to leave his room.

However, as he held the doorknob to his room, self doubt began creeping in, standing there for a solid minute working up the nerve to go out in public like this. Eventually he took a deep breath, twisted the knob, pushed the door open and stepped out into the living room. His heart was racing, he had to keep reminding himself he was hardly the only male that was going to be dressed like this on campus, nobody was going to care.

He looked over towards the front door of his apartment, past the mixture of sleek, modern and vintage furniture that comprised the living room, standing by the front door to the apartment, was his roommate and best friend Charla. Logan had known the zebra since fourth grade, she had always been there for him, especially during some particularly rough times. She was wearing a baggy white top, a pair of worn jeans and a patterned red pashmina scarf.

"Wow! That haircut looks great!" She exclaimed as soon as she saw him, her words were genuine too, it was always apparent she didn't just say things to make Logan feel better, she meant them too. "And those clothes really suit you!" There was a hint of pride to the zebra's voice, as she had helped pick them out.

"Th-thanks." Logan said, managing a smile, hearing the compliments really helped calm his nerves, at least partially.

"What about you, what do you think of your new look?" Charla asked, placing a hand on her hip as she awaited a response.

"Oh, uh. I really like it!" The lion admitted, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Thanks for all of your help." He didn't just mean with the clothes either, Charla was probably the only reason he was able to build up the confidence to do any of this, her support over the years had gone a long way.

The zebra smiled warmly. "No problem, I'm always available to help any time." She told him. "Ready to get going?"

Logan nodded, following Charla out of their apartment. The pair made their way onto the university campus where Logan once again begins feeling incredibly self conscious about his look. There were crowds of people all over, serving to compound his anxiety. Some were on their way to register for classes, while others were meeting up with friends they hadn't seen all summer. Logan couldn't help but look around nervously, paranoid that someone might be staring or giving him a weird look. But nobody ever was.

In fact, Logan spotted a few other males dressed just as effeminately as he was, if not even moreso. They looked so upbeat and energetic too, the lion couldn't help but feel envious of the outward confidence they projected, they were just being themselves.

Logan was practically shrinking into himself, that was when Charla began talking about a manga series she just started, getting real enthusiastic as she described it in great detail. Her passion was infectious and soon, Logan was more focused on listening to her while they walked than paying attention to all the people around them and what others might be thinking of him.

"Oh, looks like we're here." Charla announced. Logan's attention snapped back to reality as they stopped outside the student health clinic and he folded his hands nervously in front of himself, his anxiety rising once again.

"You ready for this?" The zebra asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Logan nodded, they were already here, no sense in getting cold paws and backing out now. "Y-yeah. Thank you Chawla." He blushed, feeling embarrassed as his speech impediment slipped out. Though if Charla did notice it, she wasn't drawing any attention to it.

"No problem, let's head in." She said, walking inside with him. Inside the clinic they found themselves in a pretty typical waiting room, rows of chairs and some magazine racks, mostly containing brochures for various college programs and activities. A few people were waiting in scattered seats and at the end of the room was a large desk, an older doe sitting behind it. Logan checked in at the front desk and then he and Charla took seats beside one another.

"Nervous?" Charla asked, leaning over towards Logan.

"Y-yeah, a little." Logan admitted, his hands clasped in front of him, twiddling his thumbs.

"They'll just ask some questions and run a few tests, it will be simple." The zebra said. "You will do fine and I'll be silently cheering you on out here the whole time."

Logan rubbed the back of his head. "I've never really talked about this stuff with anyone but you."

"You have nothing to worry about, these are professionals." Charla reassured him. "They won't judge you and you have nothing to be ashamed about anyway."

Logan just nodded in response, sitting back in his seat as he settled in and wondering just how much longer he would have to wait. He wouldn't have to wonder long, after only a few more minutes of waiting, a young stallion in blue scrubs walked out into the lobby. He double checked a chart in his hands before speaking. "Logan?" He called out.

Logan got up from his seat. "Uh, yeah, that's me."

The stallion walked over to Logan. "Hello, I'm Robert, I'm a nurse practitioner here, if you would come with me please, we can get started." He said in a positive and upbeat tone.

"O-okay." Logan said, shuffling his feet and nervously following behind the equine as he was led towards a door in the back of the lobby.

"You got this." Charla whispered as Logan walked away, the lion looking back and giving her a shaky smile in response.

Logan was led through the door and down a hall until they wound up in a cozy doctors office, where an older crocodile was waiting for them. She was dressed in a cream colored blouse and a pair of black dress pants. She reached out to shake Logan's hand.

"This is Michelle, one of the counselors on campus. I invited her here because she is trained in gender therapy." The stallion said, introducing her.

"Nice to meet you, Logan." The crocodile said as Logan took her hand and shook it.

"Uh, thank you. Nice to meet you too." Logan responded.

"Please, sit down." Robert offered, gesturing to some chairs that had been set out, all three of them taking seats.

"So Logan, tell me a bit about yourself." The crocodile said. "Do you work or are you focused solely on class?"

Logan rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, well, uh. I work at the pool part time as a lifeguard."

"Oh, so I assume you are a pretty strong swimmer then?" She asked.

Logan nodded. "I used to be on the swim team in high school, at least for a little while." He admitted.

Michelle leaned forward in her seat. "Really? Any particular reason why you stopped?"

"Just uh, personal reasons." Logan muttered out.

The crocodile nodded, not pressing any further than Logan was clearly comfortable with. "Well, if you're working at the pool, we might run into each other there. Hopefully I don't need your services though, I like to think I'm a pretty strong swimmer myself." The crocodile joked. "What about hobbies? Anything you do in your free time?"

There was a pause as Logan thought about his answer. "Well, I like to read." The lion eventually said.

"Oh, that's great, what sorts of things do you read?" The crocodile asked.

Logan thought for a second. "Fantasy and sci-fi mostly." He said, omitting that he probably spent even more time reading fashion magazines, even though he doubted either of them would judge him for it, he was still a little embarrassed to admit it openly.

"How about school, are you excited to be starting college?" She asked.

Logan nodded. "Yeah, I'm really looking forward to starting classes. A little nervous too, though."

"You're enrolled in the nursing program right?" The stallion interjected.

Logan nodded again. "Yeah, that's right."

"I think you will find the program they have here to be very rewarding, it's hard work but I learned a lot when I took it. They have good teachers there." Robert explained.

"So, what are your plans in nursing?" Michelle asked.

"Oh, I plan to start working as soon as I get my associates." Logan answered.

"That's good. So what are your goals here with us today? You expressed an interest in hormones and gender affirming treatment. Can you tell us what you were hoping to achieve?" The crocodile asked, leaning in a little closer to Logan as she spoke.

"Well, uh. I want sleeker fur and for my body fat to be redistributed." Logan muttered, feeling flustered as he gave a more clinical answer for wanting a more... femme body shape. "Testosterone suppression too, I think that will make me feel better..." He continued, practically shrinking into his chair, not used to speaking about this stuff openly.

The crocodile spoke softly and comfortingly. "Okay, well, I think you certainly came to the right place if those are your goals. What about breast growth? I noticed you didn't mention that."

Logan shook his head. "No, I don't want breasts." He said, his voice a little shaky.

Michelle nodded. "That is a valid choice." She said.

"We can prescribe growth inhibitors if they start to bud." The stallion added, before rising from his seat. "Okay Logan, we need to do a few tests, this will pretty much be like any other checkup, we just need to establish baselines and make sure there are no irregularities." He explained.

"Okay." Logan said. After that the nurse began to take his blood pressure, marking down results on his chart before taking Logan over to the scale, marking down the lion's height and weight as well.

"Are you sexually active, Logan?" The equine asked, holding up his chart, pen in hand.

The lion blushed and shook his head. "No." He said, feeling quite embarrassed at that. But the equine didn't even flinch at the answer, just marking it down like he would any other piece of medical information.

"Are you a smoker?" He then asked.

Logan again shook his head again. "No, I'm not."

"That's good." The horse said. "Some things to know about HRT, first is that you should do your best to stay hydrated while on HRT. You may also experience mood changes that may come as a surprise to you, this is normal. Lastly, are you prepared to become infertile and if so, do you want to bank your sperm?"

Logan tried not to show the excitement he felt at the prospect, very self aware that some people would probably think he was a freak that the idea of sterility turned him on, but it's not like he could really help it. "Y-yeah, I am prepared for that and no, I do not want to bank my sperm." He answered.

The nurse nodded, marking it down on his chart.

"Do you have any kind of support system, Logan?" Michelle cut in and asked.

"Well, I have my friend Charla. She has been very supportive as long as I have known her and came here with me today." Logan explained.

The crocodile nodded. "That's good, she sounds like a very good friend to have." She then stood up, grabbing a bag from a nearby desk and fishing something out. She then handed Logan a small pamphlet for the college's counseling department. "If you ever need anyone else to talk to, there is a number in here, just ask for me and they will get you in touch. I would also like to meet with you at least twice a month to discuss your progress."

Logan took the pamphlet, looking it over before folding it up to slide into his pocket and nodding. "Okay, I will."

With that, the horse chimed in. "We'll start you on a moderate dose, you should expect to see a change in your mood as your testosterone levels decrease and your estrogen levels increase. Your penis and testes will shrink, as well as your sperm production. Your nipples will become more sensitive and with time, your facial features will become softer and your body fat should redistribute to your hips and thighs. Keep in mind that the changes occur at different rates and in different ways for everyone, but be sure to let me know if there are any irregularities. Does that all sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds gweat." Logan responded, nodding.

"Excellent. We will need quarterly labs and you can stop in any time for prescription renewal." Robert ripped off a small piece of paper from his sheet, handing the prescription to Logan. "I'll need you to stop by the lab for your first blood draw, then you can stop by the pharmacy to pick up your first doses."

The nurse lowered his chart and extended his hand towards Logan, the lion taking it after some slight hesitation, shaking the equine's hand.

"That's everything, congratulations, this is a big first step." Robert said.

"Th-thanks." Logan said, blushing.

Michelle took his hand next. "He's right, not everyone is brave enough to take this step either, I look forward to seeing you find your true self." She told him. "Are you okay with hugs?"

"Uh, sure." Logan nervously replied.

"Good because I am a hugger." The crocodile said, wrapping her arms around the lion in a tight embrace, one that betrayed more strength than perhaps her pear shaped figure would imply. She then pat him on the back before releasing him.

Logan's heart was fluttering, this entire moment incredibly emotional for him, but he tried his best to keep from showing it too much. Not only was it exciting, but he just wasn't used to this kind of supportiveness from complete strangers.

"Thanks so much, I hope I find my true self too." The lion said, with that the nurse escorted him over to the lab, where a rail thin fox boy drew some blood. It was quick and relatively painless. Then he stopped in the pharmacy with his prescription, a cheerful jerboa girl behind the counter giving him his pills.

It was a little surreal, holding the bag containing those pills in his hands, he never thought he would have the courage to go through with this, but here he was.

After that he walked back out to the lobby, where Charla was waiting.

"Well, how did it go?" The zebra asked.

"Pretty well, they were really nice." Logan said, smiling. "They started me on my first dose now."

"I told you." Charla returned his smile. "How about we drop those off at the apartment, then go get some bubble tea to celebrate? My treat!"

Logan nodded, his grin widening. "That sounds perfect." He said, accompanying his friend out of the clinic and into the rest of his life.