FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

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"I have to be better," he whispered through gritted teeth.

Each squat burned, the weights he carried barely slipped his sweaty, feathered hands, his sharp talons scratched the mat flooring of the gym area; but he kept going.

Lifting provided relief, but one squat remained, only one; he couldn't give up. He bore the heft of the artificial gravity a last time before letting the apparatus handle the weights.

His wrist communication device confirmed it: a new personal record. He raised his blue arms and released a victorious screech. He wouldn't do that normally, but no one else trained at that hour, so he didn't hold back.

The sweaty celebration came to a halt when the machine beeped and shone. He had already figured why it did, but checked with excitement all the same.

He read the words with a huffing grin. Fox--his Fox--had just landed at the hangar.

Suddenly everything became too obvious to him. He found his passion too high. The thought of someone seeing the stoic Falco Lombardi happy as a puppy because his friend came back from a mission, brought redness to his cheeks.

The bird shook himself into repose before going to the showers. Usually, he wouldn't bother, but even if he wanted to appear uncaring, he also wished to look dignified for McCloud.

After a shower and a change into his red uniform, he made it to the hangar, where Fox, Miyu, Slippy and the blue vixen conversed about the recent mission. Falco would scoff at the gathering, but just seeing the fox safe and sound elated him too much.

Through a glance, McCloud noticed the falcon, and wasted no second further in that conversation. The vulpine walked to the bird with a smile, glad to see him once more.

As Fox got a few meters from him, Falco undid his own grin once more with a low grunt and a clearing of the throat.

"Took you long enough, Fox."

The smugness in the falcon's voice told all the fox needed to know; the could not act affectionate for that moment.

"Hey," he finally responded in kind, "you try and deal with those raiders faster."

"Betcha I would."

"Heh." The vulpine approached further, using all of his mental fortitude not to hug his lover. "You would..."

Silence took over. Even if it only lasted a second, each nanosecond concentrated on each other made holding all their feelings back harder.

"A-Anyway!" Said Falco. "Wanna grab a bite? You're probably hungry right now."

"Oh, uh, actually, I already made plans with the girls. You should come though!"

It was then when a sickening feeling boiled from Falco's guts and rose to his flustered face. Before he realized, a fit of resentment and disgust replaced his cool demeanor.

The bird scoffed. "No, thanks!" He turned to the corridor after speaking. "Later, Fox."

He fled down the hall leading to his quarters, leaving a confused vulpine behind.

After several hours, the Great Fox's autonomous clock signaled bedtime. Normally, Falco would be somewhere else by then, but the previous encounter had kept him in his room all that time.

There was no escape to Falco's frustration. That McCloud would forget their ritual of eating together after missions--the only moment they could be on their own in the open--bothered him plenty, but he knew it went beyond that. How disgusted, jealous, he acted and how quickly he lost his cool, he only had himself to blame.

He turned and shuffled on the bed, reminding himself he shouldn't let someone be so close to him; not again. A broken heart equated to the worst physical injuries.

A sigh escaped his beak as he watched the darkness of space.

Suddenly, a knock at the door. Falco flinched in surprise before he realized the only likely person it could be. Part of him shamed himself for his earlier behavior, and the other, just wanted to meet him.

"Come in, McCloud."

The metallic gate slid open into the light-flooded corridor. In front of the frame, as he had guessed, Fox walked in.

Falco raised his upper body to see Fox had changed into a black athletic t-shirt, dark green pants and white civilian sneakers; not too different from Falco's own white tank top, red pants and white socks.

McCloud stopped halfway to the bird. "Are you okay?"

The falcon snorted. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're a bad liar," he said with a smile. "Seriously, what's up? You can talk to me."

Between the storm of unresolved feelings and the responsibility to remain coolheaded, the only response Falco gave was a cross-armed huff.

"You pouty birdy," said Fox after an eye roll.

The vulpine walked closer, and the falcon resisted every chance to react. In fact, the blue bird only looked directly at his partner when his white snout found itself centimeters from his own beak.

Eyes met; finally. At first, Falco confused the action for simple affection, but soon it became clear the canine's sight scanned his rival's face.

Lombardi had to flinch. "W-What?"

The fox hummed. "Just checking something... Had any 'electronic' thoughts lately? Any desire to sabotage Star Fox?"

Falco gulped. "What are you talking about!"

"Well, you've been acting all weird since I got back. So, I'd better check if some Andross android hasn't replaced you..."

The falcon's brain tried processing the nonsense he had just heard, but, in his stiff state, only one reaction seemed proper.

"Pfft! Hahahaha!" The bird fell back, his spine landing on the soft bed. "What the hell was that! Haha! You're spending too much time with Slippy, man. Hahaha!"

The fox snickered. "Well, at least now I'm sure."

It took a few teary seconds for the bird to recompose; once he did, he found his rival towering over him with hands between his face. The white snout above shot a smile at him; and the bird finally complied to respond in kind.

Falcon suddenly noticed: in that trade of genuine grins, he found freedom. No pretending to be "too cool," no putting up emotional barriers, no pointless competition. Only his Fox and him.

That muzzle finally opened. "Well?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you tell me what's wrong now?"

With a click of his tongue, his face soured. "Like you don't know what it is. Quit tormenting me, will ya?"

Discontent developed in Fox's mouth. "Oh, Falco, jealousy again? Seriously?"

"You got it, smartass. I don't need to say I'm sorry, do I?"

"Yes, you do!" Fox's sudden shift in tone shocked his partner. "Are you gonna be like this all the time, man? Are you always gonna distrust me, huh?"

As emotion grew into uncontrollable babble, wings quickly flew to both of the vulpine's cheeks. "What the hell! You think I like the feeling, McCloud!"

The canine's muzzle stilled in shock.

"I don't control this shit, man!" A sigh, and his voice grew lower and sadder. "It's just... I'm not used to this whole thing yet."

"Ha, bullshit! I know I'm not your first, Falco."

"But you are! Yeah, I had flings and shit. But this? This is fucking different."

"Different how, huh? Tell me."

"Man," his forearm covered his eyes, "why is this shit's so hard..." He took a second to clear his thoughts. "Fox, you know I'm not a 'words' guy, so you'll have to hear me just ramble for a bit."

The vulpine sighed. "That's fine, Falco. Just... talk to me."

Once his gaze finally returned to the fox, he couldn't help himself. He quickly jerked the fox's body to lie by his side. McCloud let the movement happen without resistance.

They were then side-by-side, quietly lying in the same bed as they had many other times. Looking in each other's eyes they found shaky but determined green gems; they found themselves in sync.

Falco finally cut the silence. "When I first caught myself thinking about you, I imagined it'd be another hookup, but, after that first time, you wouldn't leave my mind." He snickered, "can you believe I still think of you all the time?"

"Falco..."

"You know I wasn't a fan of this 'relationship' thing when you proposed it to me. But," he brushed Fox's cheek with the back of his feathery hand, "despite my reservations, I said yes."

"Heh, I don't remember you hesitating."

The bird's cheeks grew red. "That's the thing: I didn't!" He took another deep sigh. "And that has been eating me since then."

A myriad of questions crossed his mind, but Fox ultimately relented and let his partner continue.

"For that microsecond, I wasn't 'myself' anymore. Your dumbass smile was enough to change my mind; and I felt weak for it."

"Weak?"

"Yup. And I feel it every time we're alone. Actually," he took one of Fox's hands and put it against his chest; the falcon's heart beat wildly. "I'm feeling it right now," he said with a smile.

"Falco, you don't have to..."

"I know, I know. But my life before Star Fox, before you, wasn't easy. Any sign of weakness could mean death if I wasn't careful. So I hardened myself, I guess."

"It's fear, then?"

He clicked his tongue. "If I have to say it, yes, I'm afraid. In fact, it's that same fear that makes me... 'jealous.'"

"Pfft, how?"

"Isn't it obvious? Betrayal wasn't exactly uncommon in my youth... Heh, in the end, you were right on the money when you said 'mistrust' earlier."

"I see..."

"Well, that's the point the 'coolheaded free-bird' would refuse to change or apologize and say something like 'that's who I am, take it or leave it.' But..." He realized the wetness in his eyes, but the whole situation affected him too hard for him to care. "I wanna change, I wanna apologize; for you."

A furry hand gripped both sides of the bird's head and pressed their foreheads together. The sight of a tearful vulpine with his eyes closed and his mouth in a smile greeted his eyes.

"F-Fox?"

"You're trying so hard, Falco. Thank you."

He couldn't believe those words; before he realized, emotions flowed out of his eyes.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Fox."

They silently stayed in that position for minutes, before noticing that the bed offered a better position for sleeping. After a lot of shifting--and many little smooches--they shared a large pillow and lied in each other's arms.

Falco yawned before grunting. "Man, this talking stuff is tiring! Can't even have some 'fun' tonight!"

"Heh. Don't you feel better though?"

He smirked. "I guess! What does make me feel better," he hugged his lover tight, "is having you all for myself."

"Aw. Same, Falco, same."