FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Perfect little conundrum you laid for yourself, wolf. Arden berated himself as he turned the desk lamp away from the reflective desktop. It had started to make him feel like one of those suspects in a Pricklee Quillane novel, the hard-boiled porcupine private eye. And hadn't that been the problem? The wolf had felt like his life would be under a spotlight, and not just on stage. He'd be ridiculed, he wouldn't be accepted. All for something he couldn't, didn't want to...

The mental torture reasserted itself, and the guilt and shame that accompanied it. So Arden reluctantly turned the light back to the paper, and resumed his task.

>>><<<

Spring had arrived, and announced is presence in David's backyard through tangles upon tangles of new brambles around the old clothesline pipes. Arden wondered if some Gryphon's Book world record might be set right here. He along with Alison and the twins were just lazing the day away. Alison was regaling everyone with stories of this and that in her particularly rhythmic speech patterns. The twins were ignoring everyone as they talked amongst themselves, and Tim and David seemed to be quite invested in a small...it looked to Arden like a pipe of sorts over in the far corner.

"...and I was hit right in the face with a big gulp," the irrepressible poodle concluded her current story. "Now I ask you, is that the spirit of Christmas?"

"I guess you should be glad it wasn't eggnog," quipped Arden, shuddering at the memory of his 4-year-old self when his uncle had had a few too many, and hadn't seen the small black wolf standing there. Cold, sticky, not to mention hard to get out of one's undercoat. The sour smell had lasted until New Year's.

"I know!" the poodle enthused, not quite catching the remark as she yipped on about how her fame as a child had not always been the luxury some might have expected. People were cruel, and stupid, even to children. To anyone who was different, Arden mused.

He looked around the room, which was beginning to take on a strange aroma. No one here really fit in to society. Dave and Tim...well. The twins? Whatever their deal was, they were here on a Friday night, and not out with schoolmates. And Alison, a child actress who was typecast as a bewigged, in her words, bitch. People couldn't separate the role she played from her real life.

"Where did you two meet?" Arden interjected suddenly. The question had been on his mind for some time. This motley crew didn't just spontaneously form, did it?

"Oh, I've known Alison for years," said the fox, a bit more lively now that he and Tim seemed to have sorted out whatever it was they had been working on, as he made his way over to the couch. "We started at Tuesday's Cub, and then moved on to F.P.L.A."

Arden frowned.

"Oh! FIDS Project Los Angeles. We work with the charity. Alison produces the comedy stage at the big summer benefit."

"And David does all the technical stuff - lighting, sound. Everything. We make a lot of money, and it all goes to a worthy cause."

"Yeah, Arden, you should come play with us. It's coming up in June, I think meetings are gonna start in a couple weeks."

Arden felt the hackles on the back of his neck start to prickle. He smoothly pressed them down under cover of scratching his neck. "Um, what would I have to do?"

"I don't know, we can find you something. It's for a good cause, y'know? Plus, they have more restaurants there with free tastings than the biggest foodie convention in LA! There's a casino and a huge silent auction."

Arden willed his tail to wag and his ears to stand tall. "Well, sure, if you think I could help. I mean, I would be happy to."

"Oh, it's so much fun!" the poodle gushed. "Is there any more over there?"

Arden looked over to where Tim sat in the corner, smoke curling about his head. Huh, he usually went outside to smoke. Arden's eyes widened. He had to get out of there. Now.

"Um, I've got pretty bad allergies to smoke, so, I'm just gonna step outside for a minute while you guys, y'know."

Arden stepped out onto the patio and took a lungful of LAs finest, almost coughing in spite of himself. He knew he was being silly, but sometimes, being around these people really pushed all of his buttons. Pot? Couldn't he get arrested too, even if he weren't smoking it? He didn't care at all that they wanted to do it, but he didn't want to get punished for it.

And FIDS? What would people say if they found out he were volunteering for a charity dedicated to Furs Immune Deficiency syndrome? The scourge of the planet? The politicized disease that was synonymous with risky gay sex? It was fine for Alison, she was female, and she was a celebrity - they always donated their time to stuff like that. But Arden? Wouldn't he be guilty by association? Wouldn't people look at him like he had it?

And at that, he stopped dead in his tracks. His mental train derailed as it careened from one realization to another. David. He always looked tired, dull, sometimes downright ill. He must...oh no. Then was Tim? How about the twins? Arden started to get a headache at the repercussions of this new information.

"I think Alison likes you."

Arden yelped and whipped around, almost tripping as he landed on a lounge chair.

"Gah! You're so damn quiet! How do you do that?"

The fox smirked and raised his arms in an applause gesture. "Ta-da!"

"Yeah. Har har, very funny." The wolf's heart was just starting to return to nomal rhythm as he stood back up. "Well, that's good, I would hate if she hated me." Like, y'know, that damned opossum.

"No, I mean I think she likes you."

Crickets.

"I think she would go out with you if you asked her."

Arden's brows flew up to his ears, which sprang bolt upright. "Oh! Um, er, well, that's really flattering. But, um, I'm not really looking for, y'know, I -"

"Hey, no big deal. Really. At all," the fox consoled, raising both paws in front of himself. "I just wanted to let you know."

"But she just met me. Why would she want to, y'know? Did she say something?"

"Nah. Just a feeling. I think the offer might be there if you want. No harm. So, we're finished with the pipe, so you can come back in. We'll air it out some for you. I didn't know you were allergic."

Arden glanced over the fox's shoulder and saw Tim's thin muzzle suddenly disappear between the curtains. "Yeah. Y'know, it's getting late, so I think I'll just head out. Um, say goodbye to everybody for me, and I'll see you next weekend, right?"

"Oh yeah, I wouldn't miss it. I can't wait to show you all the hidden stuff I found when I worked there. I love Grisleyland!"