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Chapter length: 5,411 words.

Chapter 18: Going All In

(Argthanaw 12th, Year 665 of the 4th Age)

If there was one aspect I liked about autumn, it would have to be its early arrival. It meant that summer was done for the year, and the sultry weather that made me wish I was reincarnated as a Human or similar or a Majakaal was over. I had other reasons why fall was my favorite season. I was fortunate enough to live in a location where the trees changed their leaves' tinctures. The migratory avian species filled the air with their canorous symphony. The air smells and tastes were fresher and crisper than spring somehow. That was if I had a meaningful opportunity to appreciate them recently.

I was too occupied the past few days with the neonates and mom. As part of his agreement to the Alpha Prime, dad left for Kosüvain a couple of days after she gave birth to them. Even though he hired different dyads of hands, I, Lárus, Róstran, and other house members were swamped with work because she was out of commission. For one thing, she was recovering from the travails of ten pups. Coupled with lactating for the whelps to suckle on her nipples, she remained on her bed often throughout the day.

I fended for myself, my twin brother, and Róstran when it came to dinner, extemporizing recipes on the fly when eggs and sausage gravy were getting stale. None of them tasted too terrible for being concocted on the spot. So far, the former was still the best in my repertoire.

When it became my turn to cleanse the pups' buttocks, I had to beg Faer for mercy, for which I received none. Despite the best of my attempts at obstructing my nose, the smell of excrement was repugnant. Forget the fires in Salföðgri's realm, my amaranthine soul wandering in Oræsöð, or have Þakúrötyðlý devour my spirit in his realm-- I was certain every Fenri would walk the righteous path of Faer if the texts in the Hjolagrð mentioned burial in newborn puppy feces instead.

Not only was I helping mom, but I was also assisting Hrafnir when his wife gave birth a day after she did. Æsignís expelled seven whelps through her birth canal, although one did not survive, bringing the total down to six-- the placenta didn't accompany it. Still, it was a delightful rarity the vast majority of them stayed, completed with the afterbirths. I was tired by the time it was to go to bed. However, there were plenty of times I was stirred from my slumber during the night when it was my shift to tend to my half-siblings. Those cute, soft, fluffy imps must've had a hidden sense of detecting when I was about to cross the threshold into the realm of dreams because they would cry for nourishment right when I was on the precipice. I would do the ritual of inspecting their cleanliness, cleansing them if need be, before gingerly handing them to mom for nursing. I was glad I wasn't Tandri during the whole period-- that old soul.

There was a bright side to being busy the past few days. My heat wasn't bothering me at all; not even the incessant tingle was doing its primary function. The itch did return gradually, but it was insignificant that it was easy for me to ignore it, occupied or not. It was the most extended break I had since the commencement of my puberty and my estrus cycle, and it was terrific to be emancipated from my heat and potion. This came at the cost of not having the opportune moment for Lárus and me to sneak off and administer another dose when I wanted to. It was weird wandering with a secret only my twin brother knew, and it was arduous to plot our next bawdy escapade without tipping anyone off, wondering if I would ever acquire free time before school started.

Today, I was granted the liberty to spend my life however I saw fit, allowing me to partake in things I appreciated. So, how did I treat my freedom- by spending it with Róstran first. He was in his usual spot without his trading cards, surprisingly. Replacing them were books and paper, and the subjects were academic in nature. His tail thumped when he saw me.

"What's up, Kaera?"

"Whatcha doing?" I asked.

"Just completing my scholastic stint before school starts." Róstran turned his attention back to his work, jotting down what appeared to be equations on paper.

"It forces students to complete homework while on break?"

"Not necessarily."

I sat down next to Róstran, picking up one of the books. My mind turned to mush instantly at the material within. It was arithmetic, and I could tell it was advanced. I was decent in mathematics, second only to Frí, but I would've been fucked if this was what I had to cram into my cranium for the placement exam. Thank Faer, it wasn't required for generic year 10 because the letters and symbols were cruxes to me. "Can you complete all of this with the remaining time before school?"

Róstran looked at the monumental stack of homework in front of me, appearing undaunted. "I already finished them last night." He sounded like it was a walk in a park. "The rest shall be done before tomorrow."

"So, what would I expect at school?"

"It commences at 9am, concluding at 4pm. Lunch time lasts exactly as long as when you had the placement exam. Since you're in year 10 with me, you will have three slots to fill with subjects that have your interest or have to study. We will have a class dedicating its time to prepare us for boot camp once we graduate, which will exhaust the most time, and it immediatelyfollows after lunch. The rest of the slots will have the rudimentary courses like math and Frí."

"You sound uninterested about them."

"They're not worth my time."

"I suspect there'll be pricks there."

It took a few seconds for Róstran to know what I referred to, sounding mirthless. "Yeah... a cornucopia of nescient assholes. I'm sick of it."

I rubbed Róstran's shoulder to raise his spirits. He flinched from the touch, but he didn't entirely eschew my left hand. "Just a heads up, Lárus and I had a fracas against Aðalstænn near the end of Jolthek."

He looked at me with concern. "You didn't enter an apoplexy and overdo it, did you? Your rage wasn't too severe."

"No, and I detest the datum of Aðalstænn and his friends kicking my ass and Lárus's."

"Sorry for embroiling you into my troubles, causing you to receive afflictions as a result."

"Don't be; I'm letting you know Aðalstænn's cognizant of Lárus and me protecting you and may think twice on bullying you."

"I hope so." Róstran was reticent for a bit as I continued to fry my brain by scouring his homework until he said something that irked a portion of my heart. "I bet Lárus landed some sinewy punches against him." It sounded like he extolled my twin brother, almost as if it was more than admiration. What was I worrying about? No way somebody as innocent, taciturn, and aloof as Róstran would breach a taboo like Lárus and I did.

"We landed some strong blows against Aðalstænn." I decided to change the subject, albeit it was on a parallel route. "Are you afraid of dad?"

Róstran stared at me as if I had crabs crawling out of my ears. "What made you arrive to that conclusion?"

"You acted like he would tear you asunder every time he politely requested you to complete a task, and it's not solely him also. Lárus made a joke awhile ago that he could pawn his responsibilities to you because you always complete a request without demur."

"Were you blind and deaf the past few times dad had a violent paroxysm? He even mastered the adroitness of exuding docility from me, Hrafnir, Dágfárik, Rýnaki, and anyone else that was obstreperous. Just a simple glare and possibly a minor body gesture were sufficient to make most people think again about provoking his wrath." True. Dad did possess the skill of commanding through body language; his physique definitely was an asset. "However, it is not fear from dad's acrimony that compels me to obey his commands... or anyone else's for that matter."

"Then what is it?"

"It's a bantam payment for being adopted into this family around five years ago."

"You know where your sister is?" His expression conveyed more than enough. "Oh... I'm sorry." I didn't bother pushing that button further. "During the timeframe from your adoption to now, who is your favorite sibling in the house?"

"Excluding you and Lárus, it would have to be Hrafnir. He went out of his way to make me feel welcome. I wished the period he and I were concurrently here wasn't so fugacious. Dágfárik and Rýnaki prefer partaking in activities without me, but they aren't inimical towards me. They do spend time with me, sporadically, that don't involve coming to my defense. You and your twin brother are a close match to Hrafnir in terms of physique and temperament."

Speaking of my sibling, Lárus showed up with the traditional gear for jogging. Róstran had a stronger reaction at the sight of him, thumping his tail harder.

"Ready, Kaera?" Lárus inquired. "Hey, Róstran."

"Yes," I answered, knowing what awaited me.

"You two going for another jog?" Lárus and I nodded. "Have fun."

I followed my brother out the door, stopping him at the trail. "Let's take it easy on the jog this time."

"You have an injury?" Lárus asked with a hint of concern.

I shook my head. "No. I love this time of year, and this is the first best opportunity since mom went into labor. I want to savor bathing in the weather."

"Fair enough, though that would mean less time to sample a bunch of delicious treats."

We established a slower pace for our jog. The rhythm was a pleasant change of pace -pun not intended- compared to what I was acclimated to. The speed allowed me to better appreciate the tranquil sounds emanating from the halcyon streams nearby and traversed over. My twin brother initiated a bizarre conversation as we peregrinated to our hideout.

"I've been thinking about something, Kaera."

"What is it?"

"What does it truly feel like plowing a female in general and, more importantly, for the very first time?"

Despite anticipating the question to arrive since commencing our debauchery in Akuvöllur, I still felt like I was coerced into a repugnant situation. "Lárus," I replied, praying he caught my subtle entreaty.

"I'm not saying you should let me discover it yourself."

"What brought about the question?"

"It percolated in my head since the time you permitted me to lick your cunt and achieved your first orgasm. Your vagina gripped my tongue, tightening the most on it when your reached your apex. Our Mating Ceremony is imminent, meaning we will find lifetime mates and have sex with them soon. If your slit is anything to extrapolate, I could only imagine what it feels like when my penis is on the receiving end. I presumed that a pussy's tightness was the primary contributing factor for dad and other males to cum, but the constrictions added another variable."

"And, obviously, a penis could fit inside a vagina, or else nobody in Illyria could exist. Clearly, mom was thrilled from dad breeding her, and Brýngerður and Æsignís acted delighted by their husbands procreating with them. However, I wonder what the experience is like for them for having a dick within their asses or pussies. Mom told us it's incredible once the initial shock attenuated, although my hymen will agonize me once it disappears for good. I have fluctuating expectations on what the actual experience will be like."

"Exactly. We're told about what the sensations are, but we're forbidden experiencing it ourselves until finding someone at the Mating Ceremony. The people in the porn books give some idea on the real deal. Witnessing our parents and other couples have sex demonstrate the feeling better, but I want to discover the sensation just once. Instead, we're handed potions to suppress our urge, which are horrible, forcing us to sample the process without going all the way."

I furrowed my eyebrows a little. "So, how much of our sexual deviance was for your own gratification?"

"I'll admit that it was for my own pleasure, but I swear to Faer that I desired to see you liberated from your treatment more. The last thing I want was to observe you suffer without doing at least something to intervene."

"I'm fine with where we're currently at."

"And that's all that matters to me."

Lárus and I arrived at our hideout, parking ourselves above the egress because I wanted to taste the clean air some more. I was glad we had an opportunity for me to achieve my orgasm before my heat was at its peak intensity. I was sure the newly discovered technique was puissant enough to quell my cycle, and I refused to drink my medicine for the upcoming event, betting all of my nonexistent fortunes against the potion.

I had a page in my obscene book featuring a male Majakaal surrounded by five penises, all ejaculating all over his body while I went to work on my brother. Some of the semen landed on his tongue, which got me thinking. How would cum feel in my mouth? Its viscosity and texture were unique. I'd seen multiple instances of males and females swallowing jizz in the lascivious novel with a few blurbs on why the receiver should consume. The action was supposed to arouse the giver, make him feel special, and strengthen the bond between him and the receiver. If I mustered up the courage to try, would Lárus think those three things? He did express approval at the lewd pictures that featured females swallowing semen, but was it genuine?

I started by petting Lárus's sheath and fondling his gonads, sensing the soft fur around his maleness. I'd grown accustomed to the male anatomy from the numerous instances of touching it. However, squeezing the pilose peak made me realize it wasn't entirely flabby, perceiving the fleshy rod within. It begged the question of how a male Fenri could contain his penis within his hirsute nub, especially the hulking monstrosities dad, Lárus, and Hrafnir wielded. The sheaths they possessed were bigger than average, but it still dumbfounded me how their penises remained out of sight until something aroused them.

The tapered tip emerged, to my delight. I knew my brother savored having me twist it, so I did, being rewarded with a spurt of precum. As my thumb rubbed it slowly and carnally in a circular motion, the shaft grew longer, more rotund, and firmer, sliding out additional length. I got it to where only his knot remained hidden, but I beheld a bulge forming inside him.

Figuring this was the moment, I ceased stroking my brother's shaft, positioning myself where my head was near it. "You want me to?"

"You consented to my approach, so I should acquiesce also. Just one second, though." Lárus reclined his back to a tree trunk, parting his legs. "This help?"

"It should." I moved closer, leaning my head toward my objective before I paused. "One other thing, brother."

"What is it, sister?"

"Thank you for everything you've done aiding me against my heat."

Lárus nodded and smiled. "It's what I do. It was what we did while living in the shack."

I went straight to business, taking a breath to relax myself. Holding Lárus's endowment, I leaned closer. The musky, masculine scent was recognizable from when we concluded our clandestine session. Being near the groin, I believed it was the epicenter of his odor. It smelled more concentrated, more pungent, sensual, and very real.

Shutting my eyes, I got closer till my nostrils bumped into the fleshy rod, receiving a hefty dose of male fragrance from the inguinal region. My lips touched the tapered point, tasting tiny sparks from the canine cock. I admitted I was nervous about what the actual flavor of a penis was like, recalling the moments when I observed Lárus's cum-covered cock retreat inside him and the lilliputian amount of urine that leaked out after he marked a tree. Was he thorough at washing the semen, pee, and other grimy, dirty material off his length while bathing? In addition, the taste and texture of the male batter had me anxious.

Taking a moment to summon some intrepidity, I took the veiny, pink spear into my maw. The glans greeted my tongue first. The organ explored all of its texture, leaving a layer of saliva on it in one lick. I perceived my sibling exhale blissfully and contently as soon his intimate area touched my mouth as if he was exuviating the tension from his body.

I felt Lárus place a hand behind my head, the fingers digging into my fur and hair. He fused combing and caressing into one gentle, loving action. I'd seen pictures and actual instances of males petting their partners in this fashion. Having it done to me made me aware of how soothing it was, making me even more glad it was him behind it as I opened my eyes.

As I swished my tongue around, my brother's flavor dispersed all around my mouth. It tasted... well, like cock. It wasn't unpleasant or overpowering, just a strong musk to bring attention I was with a male, and it aggrandized Lárus's scent., stirring my nether loins. All of my fears about the flavor vanished. The initial macho, brotherly essence dissipated from my saliva, leaving behind the insipid taste of a meaty penis.

Desperate like an addict, I slid my mouth further down on Lárus's erection. Like a rapacious conqueror, I continued my conquest after exhausting the delectable reserve of musk on a portion of the battering ram, my tongue eagerly licking the fresh section. My eyes bulged from the sudden urge to gag as the glans entered the back of my throat, and I violently coughed.

Lárus looked at me with concern. "You ok, Kaera?"

"Yeah, I am," I answered. "Something went almost went down the wrong path." I tried accumulating more of my brother's dick, encountering an identical reaction.

"Don't take all of my penis if you can't handle it. I won't hold it against you."

I attempted again, stopping the second I perceived any indicators of my gag reflex activating. I made it roughly halfway without Lárus's knot visible, angrily glaring at the musks that were beyond reach. Internally, I maledict them for eluding me. I stayed where I was, wrapping my tongue around the girth and swirling it around for any sort of flavor I coaxed out. Lárus showed signs he was enjoying his schlong pulsating between my lips, although his expression mixed in a different opinion. It appeared I could do better, and there was a method.

I began sucking my twin brother, bobbing my head vertically on his cock. It did the trick, or so I thought. He was wincing in pain, which led me to stop.

"Be careful of your teeth," Lárus spoke before I took his penis out to inquire why.

I nodded and resumed where I had left off, minding my fangs, which took considerable concentration. Lárus reverted to his content demeanor, giving me pets on my head that were more affectionate than domineering. I elected to stroke the part of his penis I was unable to suck, squeezing it also. His knot protruded, exposing itself to my touches, and I compressed it also. I felt him buck slightly in my mouth and increased pressure on my head. The taste of Direfenri pre began coating my tongue, the briny flavor redolent of the seafood I ingested. As much as I appreciated his enthusiasm for me fellating him and him trying his best to restrain himself, I had to dictate his thrusts. I couldn't handle all of his length with or without his influence.

While Lárus exhibited signs his orgasm was imminent, I wondered what would be the best way to handle the oncoming seed cataract to demonstrate my affection to him as a sibling. Would he prefer if I sucked nonstop or opened my mouth so he could also paint my face? No doubt he would observe everything while cumming. Maybe he didn't mind if I spat any semen out as I avoided it.

"I'm close," Lárus huffed with an erotic voice. His body writhed around as the contagious energy compelled me to suck as hard my aching jaw and tongue could allow. He bucked rapidly even with the tight grip on his knot, although he could reach my throat. The salty flavor dominated my senses. "Here it comes. Oh, Faer."

We refused to budge from our spots. Despite my brother's fleshy rod twitching in my mouth, the initial spurt of semen went into the back of my throat. The slimy, gelatinous texture almost made me disgorged. The taste followed seconds later- salty with a tinge of sweetness. The flavor of pre and his essence were overwhelmed by the sudden creamy, foreign invader, obtruding them from my tastebuds as they oozed over my tongue. I spread the viscid substance over his cock, smearing it on my gums, and I stared at him with newfound admiration.

I maintained a tight seal on his penis with my lips, betting I could contain all of his spunk in my mouth. I quickly found out I gambled incorrectly as the second and third bursts filled the vacant space, forcing me to swallow it. The taste was far less intense than anticipated, not terrific to where I wanted it on everything, but I would not be opposed to doing more fellatio in the future. However, my focus wasn't on the sapidity, instead keeping up on the torrent of sperm ejecting from Lárus. It was intense; the sequential bursts after the third were more voluminous and thicker to where they immediately filled my mouth after I swallowed a load, getting overrun by the puppy-making batter.

I gasped desperately for air after releasing Lárus's schlong. The jizz inundated my visage while I held the shaft. My left eye was shut as the sticky fluid flowed near it. Lárus sunk into the tree as his rush of rapture began to fade, and the jets of semen started to be less prolific around the ninth load. I aimed the final three into my mouth.

Lárus was staring at me, so I paraded the sticky, homogenous agglomerate in my muzzle. I kept my maw open for several seconds, closed it, swallowed the sperm, and opened it again. He growled appreciatively as he caressed my head, shuttering while a diminutive amount of cum drooled out of his urethra.

I looked at my brother's maleness, catching my breath while inspecting the little capillaries on its length. It was starting to dawn on me about the magnitude of my action. He was inhaling heavily, asseverating with a cordial smile that he wasn't regretting what he permitted me to do, which reassured my esteem. I licked all over his prick as it turned flaccid, obtaining revenge against the musk that evaded me while collecting leftover sperm. Having more time to fully process the flavor, my antecedent conclusion remained scatheless. I felt his hand on my cheek.

"Holy fuck," he enunciated with bliss.

"How was I?" I asked, gulping the last lingering flavors of my brother.

"Fucking fabulous." My tail wagged at the exaltation, blushing also. "Were you fine with it? I tried pulling out before my orgasm arrived to no avail. It was not my intention to cum in your mouth."

"It's ok; I wanted it. I figured you wanted to witness a female swallow your cum in person, so I guess you can consider it a belated birthday present."

"That was one hell of a gift. Thanks, Kaera. So, how was the taste?"

I feigned the urge to upchuck. "Bleh."

"So... terrible."

"Not horrible, actually. I can say it wasn't what I expected to be. Will need to adjust to the texture the most and a small portion of the taste. I won't be renitent at ingesting more semen. However, I don't expect cum to sweep across the kingdom and be in restaurants and vendors."

"Let me try."

I closed my eyes as Lárus licked my countenance like a feral mother cleaning her young. I found it adorable and felt closer to him as he washed away his spunk with his tongue. He shivered once he was finished.

"You're right. I don't see semen winning any awards for best sauce by itself or as a secret ingredient."

"Since we're on this topic, how was my flavor?"

"The short version is the exact conclusion as my jizz. The long answer is, initially, it was repulsive. It was fishy in a negative way. Once I got passed that, thank Faer it was brief, the taste changed to sweet and intoxicating. It unlocked a part of my brain that desired more of it, which you graciously produced. Then, I discovered a unique flavor. The best way I can describe it is you. I perceived you on my tongue."

I noticed that impish expression of his. "Spit it out."

"However, it has been awhile since I sampled your slit. I believe my memory could use a refresher to make a sound judgement."

I grinned at my sibling. "I'll obtain a few samples."

Lárus appeared blithely bewildered at how turned on I was as he caressed my wet sex. "Faer be damned; you're already wet." Sucking his dick compounded on my heat that was on the verge of ramping up.

"Should be enough for your experiment."

My twin brother separated my legs and was near my vagina. I could descry his eyes gazing with his muzzle below my mound. He was waiting for my consent, so I gave it to him, figuring that oral was too new to jump in without assumptions. My potent scent down there only enticed him after he sniffed it and growled. A salvo of strong licks arrived, his tongue encompassing my vulva as he dragged it along.

I trembled at the strokes from Lárus's tongue. He discovered my clitoris, which the tip rapidly tickled it. My body bucked upward against his nostrils, trying to capture more of the tingling sensation. I felt my genitals contract as he sought my essence fervently, perceiving my randy inferno amplify within me.

My twin sibling parted my soft, malleable labia, giving him access to my inner folds. He buried his nose in them, the hot breaths titillating me further while licking my vagina and urethra. His tongue went shallowly into my pussy, working his way up to explore my intimate anatomy. The stimulus was incredible.

I returned the favor to Lárus, petting his scalp while his tongue went deeper into my vagina and twisted around within. I flattened his ears, holding his head in place for my own hedonism. I beheld him orient his head whenever something was enrapturing him, and he wanted to probe it some more. My breaths were as erratic as my body movements as he swiftly got me to the edge, exhaling a yip blissfully when I managed to take some air in.

Through sheer luck or by skill, Lárus discovered the one spot in my vagina that granted me my orgasm. It was just what I yearned for after minutes of being on the edge. I did everything I could to make him concentrate there, wrapping my legs around his neck and tightening them, applying downward pressure on his head, and thrusting my pelvis into his snout.

The passionate bubbles popped, rapidly proliferating till they culminated into one rhapsodic mass. My body went totally rigid, locking my brother into place so he could continue to lick while I flooded him in nectar. He didn't mind the juices inundating him, keeping up against the tide. As my tenth intense spasm went by, I felt weak and ecstatic, letting him regain his freedom.

Lárus got on his knees from where he was, and I witnessed him stroking his penis; he'd been masturbating for Faer knew how long. I was too lethargic to stop him, but I trusted him enough to know he wouldn't venture into unknown lands without my permission. All I could do was watch him and enjoy the ride. He had his second orgasm, although not as productive as the first one this session. His emptied his payload just above my genitalia and around it.

Before the jolt fueled my protest, I reverted to the euphoric blob again as Lárus cleansed my vulva and outer labia with his tongue. None of the licks were strong; they were gentler, if anything. Nonetheless, the stimulus sent to my brain was more electrifying than before my climax. It was as if the orgasm made me more sensitive down there, amplifying the sensation. I wanted more of it though I was too epicene to implore him. His licks didn't last long, and I was still lethargic in the afterglow.

Lárus kissed all over my body as he made his way to my head. My breasts didn't end up unscathed in his advances before our lips collided. I could taste myself, and his essence as the flavors gathered in our play immixed with each other. We prostrated ourselves, my right hand on his chest, sensing it rise and fall and a rapidly-beating heart. He rested on his hands, looking at me while I rested my head on him, and we chuckled.

"What's your verdict?" I inquired.

"My conclusion still stands, although I need to update from time to time."

"Ditto."

Eventually, we did our ritual of ridding ourselves of the scents of horny, youthful Fenri before returning home. Róstran had just left the laundry room, wearing a towel around his waist as we encountered him. Since this was a sporadic moment of him without any attire on, I took the time to observe more of his slender physique, beholding patches of lighter fur around his neck, on his arms, and elsewhere on his body, the neck and arms being the most refined. Despite covering his modesty, he still shielded it with his hands, appearing embarrassed. I noticed his eyes glance at the laundry room, assuming he didn't want to make eye contact because of the situation.

"Didn't expect you two to be back so soon," Róstran stammered from his timidity.

"We figured we shouldn't be outside for too long in case mom needed extra help," I responded, eyeing what Róstran kept hidden from me. "Working up the courage to be nude occasionally?"

"Kind of," Róstran still stammered, not looking at Lárus and me in the eyes. "Speaking of mom, she is breastfeeding the neonates in her bedroom right now. One of those pups followed the paradigmatic action of regurgitating on me, so they're healthy.

"You want to spend time with Kaera and me once you're ready?" Lárus proposed. "We can do Champions of Noß, a different game, or something else of your choice."

"I would enjoy it. I'll just be a minute."

Róstran went to his room, taking a few glances at the entrance to the laundry. He returned with a game that was disparate from Champions of Noß. It was easier to grasp the concepts, making Lárus and me evenly matched against him and each other. I narrowly emerged triumphant with one point. Lárus and I went to our mother to alert her of our presence, observing the pups feasting on her nipples.

I was tired from 'jogging' with Lárus and tending to the pups. I lay naked on my bed, still sensing the tingling sensation in my groin. Imagining it was him touching or licking me there made me feel at ease. I thought about my Mating Ceremony, figuring out who I hoped would select me as a partner. I wanted someone that was moderately attractive, whose personality would make me laugh, who made me feel safe and could trust, and who complimented my quirks. I wished that future somebody was more like my brother.

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