Intel In The Alleyway
Gladiatorial droid BB-2000 pursues information at any cost (to those who withhold it from her). A pseudo-prequel to an RPG session.
Visual reference for BB-2000 is located at this link.
This story was originally a submission to FurAffinity's Thursday Prompt writing group.
Intel in the Alleyway
By: DankeDonuts
https://dankedonuts.sofurry.com/
"Greetings! I am BB-2000! I am fluent in over six-million forms of whoop-ass!"
"Wha-" The Twi'lek's gobsmacked jaw was shattered by an artificial fist. The back of his skull would have cracked too, when it hit the alley wall, if not for the cushioning of his headtail mounts. Broken and dazed, he slid down into a whimpering green heap. Just another piece of refuse on the dingy backstreets of Taris.
Over him stood the victorious automaton. A custom-crafted gladiator droid packed into the chassis of an early-model LeisureMech hostess unit. A sleek approximation of an idealized human female's figure. All of it colored dark pink and chrome. Save for the smooth violet shell posing as 'hair.' And two brilliant blue photoreceptors. Built to dish out far more violence than this sleemo could endure.
Despite the brutality of her attack, her words were quite chipper. Almost excited. "Your slaving outfit scooped up a certain group of spacers from Ord Mantell! One of them was a fugitive Jedi! I want the transponder codes for the ship they hijacked when they got loose!" Somehow her high-pitched, overtly feminine, voice failed to elicit a sufficient deal of cooperation from those she interrogated. But no matter. That's what reinforced durasteel limbs were for! She punched her fist into one of the nearby shipping containers that clogged the alley. Leaving a sizable dent. "Give me what I want, or that's your chest!"
The terrified, teary-eyed alien rummaged through his jacket and threw a portable scanner at her feet.
She had only just confirmed the scanner's data and secured it within her left thigh's storage compartment when her audioreceptors detected two sets of footprints approaching. She turned to see two male meatbags wearing stylized flight patches identical to the Twi'lek's. One, a small man with thin antennae writhing above his curly hair, and whose breath was exuded a distinct chemical trail. The lines of his longcoat were distended just enough to be housing a heavy blaster within 94.5% probability. The other, nearly twice the mass, was a broad-shouldered felinoid with large paws. He was covered in fur, most notably a thick mane of silver hair.
Near-instantaneous combat calculations of their movement patterns concluded that the droid could take them both. "Greetings I am BB-2000! I look forward to picking your teeth out of my servos!"
The larger one pressed forward, shoving his friend aside. Play acting impatient bravado, but really providing his ally cover to fire from behind. (Advanced tactical analysis was among BB-2000's subroutines.) He produced a feral growl before saying, "You think you got the ceevoos to take me on? Eh, vanakka?"
The droid looked the feline up and down. "Thermal imaging indicates that your genitals are 45-percent below average size for a Cathar of your height and body type! But I'm sure the Jawa girls are all very impressed!"
Eyes narrowed, he snarled again, in a lower pitch. "You got pretty big mouth on yah, fer such a tiny little stick."
"I am equipped with a proprietary trashtalk sequencer! You womprat-kriffing laser-brain!" An artifact from her Old Republic days in the underground droid-fighting circuit. BB-2000 enjoyed the reactions it elicited too much to ever disable it.
The Cathar did not disappoint. He roared in humiliated fury, baring teeth and claws in an elaborate display of martial prowess. Which gave the unimpressed droid time to zip past him. A precision roundhouse kick to the Balosar's forearm sent his weapon flying away, and the rest of him huddling behind another cargo box, cradling a twisted limb.
Simultaneously, her limbs went up to deflect the larger male's first volley. He was was good, but she was better. Within his first six swipes and two knee-strikes, she had his style analyzed and its counters pulled from her database. She got through his defenses, crippled his arms, and did to his torso what she'd threatened to do the Twi'lek's. He toppled to the pavement with a 3.7% chance that local medical services would find him in time to save his life.
The battle was over quickly. But not fast enough to keep the Balosar from complicating matters "This is Blix. Aaaaoooww!" He hoarsely whispered into a comlink. "I'm behind Kiiku's part's shop! One of the bounty hunters who hit us in the cantina is here!. Home in on my signal! Repeat, ho- URK!"
A slender pink foot (complete with built-in elevated heel) silenced the last word he'd ever speak.
Popping a hand out of the business-side of the shop, the lone being standing observed in its reflection a whole pack of the slavers racing her way. Good.
Taking the dead gunner into her arms, comlink and all, she carried him deeper into the alleys. A chrome pip on the droid's chest place popped outward, rotated ninety degrees, then retracted. Connecting her internal comlink to its power source. BB-2000 mentally cycled through the law enforcement bands, and determined a route through the alleyways accordingly. Her path back out of the alleys delivered her right in front of the closest squad of Imperial Stormtoopers. "Help! Help! Those awful gangsters killed my master!"
Four soldiers opened a hole in their patrol formation for her to pass safely through. While another four set up firing positions. The ensuing conflict was brief, messy, and most likely smelled horrible to anyone with a nose.
BB-2000 didn't stay back to analyze it, however, educational as it would have been to see Stormtroopers at work up close. Instead, she unceremoniously dumped the body behind the squad's patrol speeder, and walked smoothly into another set of alleys. Emerging into yet another through-street a kilometer away, she melded into the foot-traffic. Just another service droid among millions on a heavily industrialized world.
Cycling her comlink to her team's encrypted channel, she reported. "Acklay Three To Acklay Leader! I have what we came for!"