Rowan's Redemption - Chapter 14

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#15 of Rowan

Note: no, I'm not 'back'. I just had this laying around and thought 'what the hell, why not upload it anyway?'


XIV. Brave Bunny

The rest of the day passed quickly. Rowan helped the mares with some household chores in the morning, and they all got to relax after lunch. Although he was somewhat accustomed to being diapered by now, the addition of his chastity cage took Rowan longer to get used to. Because of how the cage influenced the fit of the diaper, his attention was regularly drawn to his nether regions. He noticed it sometimes took some effort to find a comfortable position to sit or lay down. Laying on his stomach became bearable just fine after his first "accident", however.

Later that evening, Rowan and Stella were caught up in the last lap of a tense racing game on the SimCaster when Celester came in from the hallway. She patiently waited for the littles to finish their game before she spoke up, as she wanted their full attention.

'I just called Thabo, and he suggested they come over tomorrow. Is that okay with both of you?'

Stella nodded vigorously.

'What about you, Rowan?'

He looked down, rubbing his big toes together.

'Do you think it's too fast?'

'Dunno. I like playing with Stella, so I guess it'll be fun?'

'Are you nervous?'

'I guess. I don't know your friends, and I don't know if they'll like me.'

'So you're afraid they'll reject you?'

He shyly nodded.

'I'm sure that won't happen. They've been good friends of ours for two years, and I've told them a little bit about you. They're not going to hurt you.'

'O-okay. It's just... it's all new to me. In the back of my mind, I'm still constantly afraid I'll do something wrong, or get in trouble.'

'And you feel like you're giving up space, to avoid said trouble?'

He nodded again.

'Like you did when you still lived with your mother?'

'Y-yeah. My half-sisters were horrible. If I ever got to play, I would rather play alone, preferably outside, so I wouldn't be forced to be around them.'

'That's awful, Rowan. But please don't be afraid. It's okay to be nervous, but Stella loves having a new friend to play with, and I'm sure Jessie will like you as well.'

'Unicorn promise?'

Celester chuckled. 'I can't promise how other people will behave, dear. It's just... maybe I can explain it this way. Your half-sisters were horrible, but they were also children. The people responsible for their behavior were against you. Stella and Jessie may act like they're little, but they're still adults that respect you. Thabo and I will be there all the time, and if any of the girls misbehave, we'll call them out on it. You don't even have to ask us to do so.'

Rowan pondered for a while, then looked up.

'Yeah... you have a point.'

'I can also ask the girls to be big tomorrow, so we can just hang out as adults, if that's easier for you.'

'N-no, no. That's not necessary,' he hastily turned down the offer.

Celester raised an eyebrow.

'You don't want to stand up for yourself, because that would make you feel like you robbed Stella and Jessie of their playdate?'

'Maybe, b-but also... I um, I kinda liked today.'

She smiled. 'And you want to have another "bunny day" tomorrow?'

Rowan quickly nodded, making a point of staring at his paws. He did not notice Celester blinking her horn, who immediately discovered why the rabbit had averted his gaze. This time, it was not out of shyness, but because he did not want her to see the tears welling up in his eyes. She loosely embraced him and caressed his back.

'Hey, you seem sad all of a sudden. What's up?'

He shrugged, unable to speak.

'Am I allowed to look for myself?'

Rowan quickly nodded once more, trying to control his shuddering. Celester blinked her horn once more, and almost got overwhelmed by the amount of emotional energy.

'Wow, that was... something. I can't discern if you're sad or ashamed, or both. Do you want to talk about it now or later?'

'I-I... I don't know.'

'Later is fine.'

'No, I mean, I d-don't know what's up. I think I'm ashamed I enjoyed today so much that I want to be a little bunny tomorrow as well. A-and I'm sad that I feel bad about that.'

'It's confusing, isn't it? Stella was like this for a while after she told me about her little side. It was less intense with her, possibly because she had discovered her love for it years before. I do recognize the emotional pattern, though. A part of you enjoys this, and another part tells you that that's not okay and that you shouldn't like this. Maybe that you shouldn't even do this at all, because it's wrong for some reason. Does that sound familiar to you?'

'Y-yeah,' he stuttered.

Celester felt a few drops on her shoulder. She let go of the embrace, seeing Rowan's dark brown eyes framed in red and covered in tears. A short silence followed, only disturbed by a few sniffles.

'Are you... are you trying not to cry?'

Rowan shrugged, his expression silently screaming confusion. Celester pulled him back into a hug, supporting his neck with one of her hands.

'Oh bunny, it's okay. You don't have to hold back, not in here. You're safe with us, Rowan. Cry all you need and let out what's bothering you.'

Somehow, this was all the encouragement the rabbit needed. He broke into tears, which soon changed into all-out bawling. Celester just kept holding him tightly to her chest, humming a soft melody in his ears. After a while, she felt a familiar arm reaching around them.

'Hey Rowan,' Stella whispered. 'I'm proud of you. It can be really hard for boys to let themselves be so vulnerable.'

'She's right,' Celester added kindly. 'You're such a brave guy for showing us your heart. I wish more people were like you.'

'Th-thanks,' he sniffled, still keeping his eyes shut.

'I've brought you a wet washcloth to clean your face. It can be a bit cold, but I always find that comfortable when I've been crying,' Stella said.

Rowan shuddered, still clutching Celester.

'Do you want me to clean your face for you?'

'Y-yeah...' he whispered.

Stella gently wiped Rowan's face, starting with his still-closed eyes. She then worked down and cleaned his cheeks. Lastly, she used the other side of the washcloth and put that on his forehead for a while, just to help him cool down. Rowan just let it all happen, focusing mostly on Celester's heartbeat he could hear through the ear he had pressed against her chest. The cold water left his fur damp, which felt oddly refreshing.

'Thanks, love,' Celester said. 'You can rinse the washcloth now. And can you get me the diaper bag and an overnight diaper? I think it's past bedtime for our rabbit friend.'

'Okays,' Stella replied obediently.

A few minutes later, Rowan gently laid down on his back, on the changing mat Celester had spread on the carpet. He was clutching Nanuq, which Stella had brought him to hug during his change. She sat down near his head, to offer some more distraction.

'Hey Stella, what are Jessie and Thabo like?' he asked as Celester undid the tapes of his wet diaper.

'Thabo is a really friendly guy, and a real joker. He's like a funny uncle, but he's actually funny. He can be strict, though, but only to Jessie.'

'How does that work?'

'Well, he is her caregiver, but not mine. Usually, he doesn't have much of a say over me.'

'So what if you misbehave, and Cel is not around?'

'Then I usually get put in time-out, but it rarely ever happens. The main point is that Celester decides when I need discipline and what kind. The same goes for Jessie and Thabo.'

'So...'

'So you don't have to be afraid he'll make you do something you didn't agree to,' Celester explained, carefully wiping down his caged bits.

'Oh. D-does he... do they know I'm...'

'A little bunny?' Stella asked playfully.

'N-no, I mean, the, um... cage.'

'I mentioned it, yes. Mostly so they know they shouldn't purposely tease you, because that could be uncomfortable to you.'

'Teasing?'

'Stella likes it when I playfully tease her about being diapered. Jessie and Thabo tend to dial that up a notch, between the two of them.'

The pony giggled. 'They're a little bit more, um, kinky than me and Cel. Jessie likes to pretend she's a bigger girl than me, and she sometimes tries to potty train.'

'Which always fails, for some unknown reason,' Celester added, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

'Jessie enjoys the dynamic of her trying to be big, but failing, and then getting put back in diapers. She also likes it when Thabo explicitly tells her she's just a little fawn, and that he put her in a diaper for a reason. He also likes to revoke privileges of girls that are just a bit bigger than me, like wearing pull-ups, using a toilet, drinking from a sippy cup, you name it.'

'Oh, okay. That's different from what you girls do, yeah.'

'It's all fun and games, though. They've been together for almost as long as we have, and Thabo knows exactly how far she wants him to go. I've hardly ever heard her use her safe word.'

'Wow... Oh, speaking of which, have you told them about the pickles?'

'Pickles?' Celester asked. 'Oh, your safe word. Yeah, they know. Hers is "time travel", by the way.'

'I'll try to remember it.'

'No worries, we'll remind you if anyone uses their safe word,' Celester reassured, putting the final tape in place. 'Can you let go of Nanuq for a second, so I can put your onesie on you?'

Rowan obediently set down his plush polar bear and stuck his arms up. With moves that gave away her experience, the unicorn put the onesie with the "Sleep Well" print on him and snapped it shut. Stella helped by carefully threading his bushy tail through the hole in the back, ruffling the fur until it tickled enough to make Rowan giggle.

'There you go, bunny. All ready for the night. Be a good boy and go brush your teeth before you go to sleep, okay?'

'Yes, Aunt Celester,' he said, trying to mimic Stella's filly voice.

Keeping Nanuq to his chest, he slowly climbed the staircase.

Sleep did not come easy for Rowan. He had worn a cage to bed for over a year, and by now he was somewhat accustomed to sleeping diapered, but the combination was new to him. As he kept tossing and turning, he began doubting his decision to not use his safe word. The cage was okay to him, but he just could not find a comfortable position to sleep.

Rowan awoke with hazy vision. The room around him was small, dark, and mostly empty. There was nothing aside from a place to sleep and to store his clothes. But what was that smell? It all seemed familiar. Too familiar. He tried to get up and hasten towards the door, but his body felt slow and lazy, as if he was watching a video of himself in slow motion. He jerked the door open, ready to run for the exit. The hallway, turn left, the front door.

Amazingly, the front door was unlocked. He carefully pushed the handle down, and opened the door as quietly as he could. Like a shadow, he slipped through the narrow opening of the half opened door. At the other side, he stealthily closed it again. Turning around, ready to breathe the fresh air of freedom, Rowan found himself... In Azalea's living room?

'You never learn, do you?'

'You can't keep me here!'

'I don't have to. You're still mine. Look at yourself!'

He looked down, seeing he was naked - except for his steel chastity cage.

'Out!' Rowan yelled. 'Let me out!'

'Oh, Brek, there is no way out.'

Rowan turned to the living room door, but discovered there was no handle. When he turned back to Azalea, the room had changed. The other door on the far side of the living room had vanished, and there was no balcony anymore.

'Don't you believe me?' Azalea's disembodied voice sounded. 'You're mine, Brek. You signed for that. I own you.'

'I used a false signature. You own nothing!'

'That's fraud, you dirty little liar. Do you know what I do with dirty little liars?'

Rowan turned around again, hoping there would be a handle on the door. This time, however, there was no door at all, only a blind wall.

'I clean them. Thoroughly!'

He faced her again, only to notice he was in a white tiled room. Azalea held up a shower nozzle, twisting it to the jet stream setting. Without warning, she blasted his private area. Where Rowan expected to feel cold and wet, he just felt pressing pain where the water hit him. Just as he began questioning why he stayed dry, he suddenly shot awake.

There was no shower nozzle and no water. He was in his own room, in bed, alone. Well, not alone. Once his eyes were accustomed to the dark, Rowan recognized the contours of his plush polar bear.

His attention was soon drawn back to his private area, where he still felt pain and pressure. The feeling had become worse now that he was awake. Rowan soon realized he was having a nighttime erection that could not go anywhere, which was made worse by the soft confinement of his diaper.

Experienced as he was with this kind of rude awakening - except for the diapered part, of course - Rowan laid on his back and tried to pee. This would usually solve the problem, or at least alleviate it, but he could not make himself go. Turning over to lay on his stomach would not be a wise choice either. Instead, he got out of bed and crouched down, in an attempt to tilt his hips in such a way that the pressure on his cage would be minimal. Eventually, with quite some straining, he managed to get the flow started.

Once he was done, he laid back down on his bed, waiting for the pressure in his cage to fully disappear. As he stared at the ceiling in the dark, the memories of his nightmare suddenly hit him in full force. The images flashed through his mind over and over again, and began to mix with memories of actual events. Still groggy, Rowan felt himself freezing up.

A moment of clarity hit him. He was close to having a panic attack, but he was not quite there yet.

'Celester,' he said to himself. 'I need Celester.'

With all the strength he could muster, he got out of bed and went for the door. His hands trembled, and he did not find the handle the first time.

_ Come on, fight it,he thought. _Celester will know what to do.

By now, he had reached the door on the other side of the hallway. He desperately grabbed it and stumbled into the mares' bedroom. Although he remained on his paws, the noise this made woke Celester up. Within seconds, the room was weakly lit up by the soft icy blue light coming from her horn. Without looking away, her hand searched for the switch of her nightstand lamp, to replace her horn glow with electric light. She got out of bed and carefully hastened to Rowan.

At this point, he was no longer responding. His facial expression screamed desperation, but he did not speak. Alleviating the weight with her levitation power, Celester carried the shaken rabbit to her bed, where she put him down in the middle. Stella had woken up as well by now, and was sitting up, leaning against the headboard. She casually hugged Annie, suckling her pacifier.

Although the pony showed no sign of getting ready to involve herself in the situation, she did look upon Rowan with eyes that were full of compassion. Celester got back on the bed, which put Rowan in between the mares. As if on cue, the girls put their respective heads on his shoulders. Stella slowly stroked his arm, and Celester held his hand.

'You look distressed,' she said softly. 'Do you want to talk about it, or do you want me to see for myself?'

A short silence followed. Just as Celester wanted to repeat her question, Rowan answered.

'I was... I had a bad dream.'

'About Azalea?'

'Y-Yeah. I was back at the apartment and I couldn't get out. The doors just disappeared.'

'How did it end?'

'She wanted to clean me up with a shower nozzle,' he said, staring straight ahead.

'You say that like it has happened before.'

'The first winter. I had probably resisted her, or pissed her off in some minor way. She blasted me with the jet stream, ice cold water, right in the nuts. The cage didn't do much to shield me from the impact. I could still feel the near-frozen beating the next day.'

'That's horrible. Do you want me to take your cage off?'

He pondered for a moment.

'I guess I woke up because I was hard. That's normal, and it tends to happen less the longer I'm caged. The worst is over now, so I'll manage.'

'Sure? It doesn't sound comfortable at all.'

'Waking up in the middle of the night because a sensitive part of my body tries to become at least twice as big as it's allowed... Yeah, that's not what I would call "comfortable". It's part of the punishment, though, and I don't feel like backing out.'

'You know we won't judge, do you? We won't be mad if you do.'

He nodded. 'I know, but I'll manage.'

'That's very brave of you. Now that you're here, do you want to sleep here with us for the rest of the night?'

Rowan's ears flopped.

'N-no. I mean, thanks for the invitation, but that would make me feel like I'm literally and figuratively in between you girls. That wouldn't feel right to me. You're married, and you're not my mommy, y'know.'

Celester nodded slowly. 'Alright. Stella, love, I'm going to tuck Rowan back in. Be a good girl and go back to sleep, okay? I'll be with you in a minute.'

'Okays mwommy,' the pony mouthed around her pacifier.

Stella laid back down and cuddled up to her plush clownfish.

Celester guided Rowan back to his own bedroom, where she lit up his room with her horn. They both noticed his plush polar bear laying on the ground next to his bed. She levitated Nanuq and put him in Rowan's hands.

'Sorry, little fellow. Rowan is still learning to sleep with a plush friend. He'll take good care of you. Are you going to cuddle him and keep the bad dreams away?'

She used her levitation power to make the bear nod. Rowan's ears flopped, because he believed the role play for a split second. He got back in his bed and kept Nanuq close to his chest.

'Do you need a diaper change before you go back to bed?'

'Dunno...' he replied sleepily.

'Can I check?'

He hummed affirmingly. She pulled his pajamas down far enough to unsnap his onesie. Rowan's diaper showed a sizeable area where the stars had faded, but was not soaked.

'Oh, this'll get you through the rest of the night, don't worry about that. Come, time for bed, little one.'

Celester made his clothes back in order, then helped him lay down and tucked him in.

'Thanks, aunt Celester,' he said, trying to sound like his younger self would have.

'That's okay, bunny. Please don't get me wrong, but would it help you if we got you a baby monitor? That would make it easier for you to call for us if you need us at night.'

Rowan looked away, doing his best to resist the urge to bury his face in Nanuq's fur.

'M-maybe.'

'We'll think about it. Sleep well, Rowan. We love you.'

Celester silently shut the door behind her, leaving Rowan's bedroom in comfortable darkness. The rabbit did not notice this, however, as he was already fast asleep.