The Gift- A Gray Muzzle story
The Gift- A Gray Muzzle Story
This story is dedicated to a friend- you know who you are.
Jules was going through a bad time. A teen otter, tall and awkward, he had been wrestling with his sexuality for some time. To make things worse, Jules had just been dumped by his first boyfriend. This seemed to push him over the edge. He stayed in his room. He got fired from his after school job. Now, his school work was suffering. Responding to an order by his mother to 'Get out and do SOMETHING!', Jules grudgingly decided to take a hike in the woods. Normally, he loved heading out into nature; today it seemed more like an obligation.
As he headed for the door, he checked his messages, mostly in the hope that his boyfriend might possibly have called. No such luck this morning; just the usual crap....with one exception. A text message, from a unknown source. Overcoming the impulse to hit 'delete', he opened it.
"Hmmmmm. What the Hell?' he pondered.
You see, it just a collection of numbers and symbols. It was then that it hit him. He had seen these before. Geographic co-ordinates. But for what? Jules phone had a GPS function. He brought it up, and punched in the co -ordinates. In short order, the location came up. Much to his surprise, the location wasn't that far away, maybe ten miles. As Jules went through the kitchen, stuffing water, Cheetos, a sandwich into his day pack, he thought about the odd message.
"Who the heck is it?" he wondered.
He began tossing the whole thing around in his mind. Could it be him? That would be a powerful draw. Could it be someone wanting to do him harm? Not likely, but certainly possible.
You see, Jules was gay. It took him YEARS to admit that, even in his own mind. But it was true. He had just never fit in with the other kids. Things that interested the others held no fascination for him Dating, dances, flirting with girls didn't do anything for him. It wasn't until he met Randal that the pieces began to fit together. At first, they were just good friends. For weeks, they were inseparable. They'd walk to school together, meet in the lunchroom, then spend the afternoon playing video games. It was on one of those afternoons, that it all changed. After a particularly contested game of 'Need for Speed', which Jules won, Randal hugged him. His friend's hug lingered a bit. Jules liked the feeling- a warm, happy feeling he'd never had before.
The next weeks were happy weeks. Now, instead of video games, the two would go up to the room, and kiss. They didn't do more, but they didn't need to. Kissing Randal was what he lived for. Soon after, he began getting 'feelings' Down below feelings. Often, when they'd kiss, Jules felt himself leaving his sheath. Sometimes at night, he's think about Randal, and the same thing would happen. Jules would spend his afternoons making out with Randal, his nights were spent masturbating, as he thought of their time together.
But, then it was over. Randal was different. He seemed distracted, preoccupied. Then one day he just stopped calling. Jules would call, but Randal was always busy. Then, Jules saw them. One Saturday at the Mall, Jules saw his friend with a group of other boys. They were all happy, having fun. Jules so wanted to be part of that group! But most of all, he wanted to be the boy, that one that Randal seemed to be with. That day, Jules ran home and cried into his pillow for hours. He didn't leave his room that day.
That's when it all began. He wasn't even back where he started. He was MUCH worse! He now knew what he was missing. He also had to accept that yes, he was gay. And, of course, people noticed. Not only was he now alone, he was the butt of cruel jokes. They tormented him on the bus. They wrote cruel things on his locker. They even threw condoms at him. With the everyday torment, Jules began to look for reasons not to go to school. He began getting a series of ailments, real and imagined. Then his grades fell. That began more torment. School conferences. Tutoring. And the endless pestering by his parents. They even had him going to a shrink.
Today, though, wasn't a painful day. It was just empty. No joy, nothing to look forward to, just the lack of pain. But, for now, that was enough. Opening the door of his home, Jules walked out into the daylight. It was a crisp, early Fall day, perfect for a walk. Checking his GPS, he headed out to find his destination. He walked the sidewalks of his neighborhood. He crossed the small downtown business district, where the badger who ran the delicatessen waved to him as he walked by. Leaving town, it was about an hour by the time he reached the woods on the other side of town. Starting out walking through some swampy wetlands, it lead him to a pine forest. Jules liked the pine forest; the quiet, and the height of the trees gave him a feeling of spirituality. As the elevation increased, the pines turned to an old growth hardwood forest. The oaks, elm and maple were so thick, the canopy of branches blocked much of the sun. He walked in the calm darkness for some time, enjoying the dark and quiet. He'd walked for maybe two, two and a half hours when he realized it had been some time since he'd consulted his GPS. Hurriedly looking down, he was relieved to see that he was indeed very close to his destination. Perhaps a quarter mile further, the forest opened up to a small clearing. There was an opening above, where the canopy of trees allowed bright sunshine in. A log had fallen by the trailside, making a perfect bench for weary hikers. Sitting on the log was a chubby raccoon, about his own age. Jules approached him cautiously.
"Uh hi...." Jules offered, trepidation in his voice.
"Oh! Uh hello....." the startled raccoon replied.
"Did you....I know this sounds stupid, but, like, did you send me a message?" Jules asked, needing to put his question to rest.
The raccoon seemed surprised.
"I.....was going to ask you the same thing!" he replied, with genuine surprise.
"Just a set of co-ordinates?"
"Yeah! Just that!"
Relieved, though still not knowing what it meant, Jules made a little conversation.
"I'm Jules"
The raccoon squirmed
"My name is Raymond, but I prefer Buddy"
Well, hello, Buddy. How're you doing?"
"Really? Life kind of sucks. I'm FAT! Look at me...You know who wants to be with the fatty? NO ONE! Nobody will be friends with me, I spend every day alone, and I'm teased every single day. Know what it's like to have people torment you EVERY day?"
"Kinda. Yeah...."
Jules looked up to see that the raccoon was crying. But, before he could process how to handle it, they were both distracted by the sound of footsteps. Light and rhythmic, they became louder, and more near.
Looking down the trail, Jules saw a figure walking toward them. It was a fox, a common red fox, but there was nothing common about this one. Jules could see that this was not a young fox, but one that had seen many seasons come and go. His face was graying, and he wore half glasses. There was a small handmade pipe clamped in his jaw. He wore this great, magnificent leather coat.It's bulk was great. It was beautiful, and finely made. It was old, and altogether too heavy for a warm fall day . The fox had a large satchel, a big, worn bag thrown over his shoulder. He wore jewelry- a massive gold necklace, with the finest green stones. There was a matching ring on one of his hands.
"Mind if I sit down?" he inquired
"Go ahead" Jules offered
The fox sat on a stone across the trail. He dropped his bag. Once seated, the fox reached into a small leather bag tied to his belt. From a small pouch of tobacco, he filled his pipe, then lit it.
"Did you....get a message too?' Buddy stammered.
The fox took a long draw on his pipe, then smiled.
"No. But it was I who sent the messages to you" the fox smiled, leaning his elbows on his knees.
His smile told them that they had nothing to fear.
"But....Why?" Jules asked
"A gift....a special one. For you." The fox made a second try of getting his pipe lit.
"Lemmy see it!" Buddy clamored.
The fox shook a crooked finger.
"Not so fast! Youth is so impatient...First, let's get to know each other. " the fox suggested, leaning back, appearing to take his ease.
First, the raccoon spoke.
"I'm Buddy. I'm fat, stupid, and ugly."
A frown now creased the foxes' brow.
"And, why would you say that, Buddy?"
Buddy thought.
"Because that's what everyone says."
"Everyone?'
"Well, yeah, pretty much.'
The fox leaned forward.
"Who are you, really?"
"What do you mean?"
The fox leaned on one elbow.
"NEVER let other people define who you are. Now, who are you?" he repeated
Buddy thought hard.
"Uh, I'm a raccoon. I'm a boy. I like music. I skateboard, but I'm not really good, "
he paused.
"And I like to draw. Would you like to see?"
Buddy reached into his pack, and pulled out a spiral notebook. He passed it to the fox.
The fox looked at it and nodded.
"Very impressive work, for one so young."
Handing the book back, the fox turned toward Jules.
"What about you?"
"It doesn't matter. My life is a toilet." Jules surprised himself with his candor toward the stranger.
The fox adjusted his coat.
"Powerful words. Why would you say that? Your journey has hardly begun."
"I'm.....not like other people. I'm different."
"In what way? You look very much like the otters I've known in the past"
Jules squirmed on the log.
"I'm...gay."
It was as if someone had knocked the breath out of him. Hearing himself say those words. He wasn't sure he'd ever said it out loud. Jules slumped on the log.
"Lots of people are, you know" the fox puffed quietly.
Jules protested.
"But not here! I'm the weirdo! Just me!
A small smile returned to the fox. He tamped the tobacco in his pipe, and lit it.
"EVERYONE has secrets. They just know yours. If you looked inside their heads, you'd see all manner of strange things. And you'd find that they are as scared and insecure as you. "
A period of silence followed. Then Buddy spoke
"You've been asking a lot of questions. Now, it's your turn, Tell us about yourself! And, why are we here? And what's this gift?
The fox stood suddenly, then shook himself out, and stretched a bit, before finally settling back on his stone. He knocked the pipe out, and seemed to be settling in. Having made himself comfortable, he cleared his throat, and collected his thoughts.
"I........am you. I just felt like we should meet. Become acquainted...."
Buddy and Jules exchanged odd glances.
"Which one of us?" Buddy asked "You can't be BOTH of us!"
"What do you mean" Jules demanded "I don't think you're like me! You certainly no otter!"
In site of the seeming hostility, the fox smiled.
"I understand your confusion. You're focusing on little things, mere details! The truth is, we're all really alike. And, I am you. Both of you. The 'you' YOU will become when you've seen as many years pass as I have."
Jules looked at him critically
"So, you can see the future?"
The fox laughed.
"In a manner of speaking, I suppose"
Buddy seemed VERY interested.
"So, what DOES the future look like for us."
Now, the fox was totally at ease. He leaned back gracefully, seeming to be at his ease.
"I think that your futures look GRAND" the fox replied, sweeping his arm in a grand gesture.
"Tell us what's going to happen, then..." Jules asked, with a bit of suspicion
"Oh, I see long lives ahead. You'll find love; you'll take mates. You'll have careers . Mind, there'll be sadness, but not nearly like now."
"Why must there be sadness?" Jules asked.
'Ah! A wise question, for one so young. As fire tempers steel, pain brings strength of spirit. By overcoming pain, you will be strong when the great challenges ahead in life confront you."
Buddy swallowed audibly
"Challenges?"
"Of course. We all have them. Each of us have them. I will die, as will you. You may encounter illness or injury, the loss of friends and family. Losses great and small. Each one you survive makes you stronger, better able to meet the next. So strong, that when the end comes you can enter the hereafter, with grace and dignity."
Jules was not yet satisfied.
"Why then, is it so bad now?"
The look on the old foxes' face softened; he seemed to be taken with great sympathy.
"You are young. Your frame of reference is so limited! Each day is a lifetime! I remember the first time my love was away...time seemed to stand still. A few hours at work, an eternity. Now, my years seem to fly, like a treadmill going ever faster. One day you wake up, and wonder where the years went. Never, NEVER wish time away! In the end, it's all we have. That, and each other.
Each day is a blessing! Do you realize how good your life looks to someone who watches you from a wheelchair? Never be so consumed by life that you fail to appreciate the many blessings that you have. Each of us on this Earth has but one thing- TODAY! Make all you can of it, embrace it, LIVE it! It's the only thing we have, for tomorrow is promised to no man"
With that, the fox leaned back, and closed his eyes. Feeling drained, the boys did, too. They must have been very tired, for both fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. When they awoke, the visitor was gone. Jules shook off the fog of sleep.
"Crap! How long have we been out?"
Buddy too had just wakened.
"SH*T!" exclaimed Buddy "He promised us a gift, and now he's gone...."
Looking to where the fox had been sitting, there was a paper, an old paper, rolled into a tube, and tied with string. The boys ran over and opened it, reading as they did.
"For everything you get, give more.
When life leads you to a lonely place, the love you've stored in your heart will sustain you.
Be kind.
Forgive.
Most importantly, never lose hope. Hope alone will get you through the most unbearable things. When hope is gone, all is lost."
When the boys had read the paper, they looked up to see the fox far down the path. Buddy yelled after him.
"Come back! Tell us the future!"
The fox shook his head.
"The future is yours; I cannot go there with you"
"Then tell us what to expect " added Jules
Again he shook his head.
"YOU decide the future." He replied.
And then he was gone.
They sat there, the two of them, for a while, trying to make sense of what they had seen. Then, they saw the time, and realized that they would have to hike hard and fast to be home for nightfall.
As they began to hike out, Buddy broke the silence
"Uh, you like to do stuff?"
"I like to game."
"Playstation?"
"Xbox"
"Maybe like, we could do stuff sometime"
"Yeah. Sure. That's be good"
And so began the long journey back.