Anxiety Tapes - Tape 1

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#1 of Anxiety Tapes

This is a story series that I've started a while back as a writing exercise.

So this is my character Mikael Wolker talking about his anxieties. And most of those come from dating an absolutely gorgeous pink husky named Natalya Ruskiri.

The "tapes" are interconnected and in a chronological order. But, there is no large overarching narrative. Basically, just smut with a cute story around it.

So I hope you all enjoy.

Mikael Wolker, Bethany White © Me

Natalya Ruskiri © Ghosty


I sit at my desk staring at the device in front of me. A smart person once told me that talking about my problems out loud can help; even if no-one's listening. Recording my thoughts is just the next step in the process and maybe something my future self would like to listen to someday.

Slowly I reach out and turn on the recorder with my thumb. "Okay, I have no idea where to put this." I let out a groan, realizing that would the first words on the recording. "Never mind; my name is Mikael Wolker and this is the first of these recordings." I lick my lips, as I have a lot of talking to do. Placing the recorder back on the desk, I lean over it a little as I feel vulnerable opening my heart to the small plastic box.

"I have... Anxieties. Nothing crippling, but enough to influence choices I've made and continue to make in my life. They don't impact my work; it's one of the few times I don't have to think about them. It all stems from my private life."

I let out a sigh and then draw a deep breath before continuing. "I'll start at the beginning. Well, it's like this; I like to write; creative writing, fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, adventures, and other themes. With that in mind I joined an online writers circle and one evening a little over a year and a half ago, work brought me into closer contact with the group I had joined and I found myself in a little restaurant out of town where they were hosting a dinner for the members of the group. It was a smaller gathering than I'd hoped for, but it was still good fun. It was also the night that I got the chance of a lifetime."

I clear my throat and pull the collar of my t-shirt away from my neck as it starts to feel unusually tight. "I've always had an attraction to fit women." I chuckle and shake my head. "Who am I kidding, fit doesn't do them justice. Amazonian women would be more accurate. Way out of my league at any rate. I was just a slightly chubby nerd at the time. They were inspirational and I started doing some exercise, but not enough to massively impact my health or curb my love of a fully loaded pizza. It didn't stop me from becoming a fan of several models though; and on that night two of my biggest idols were sitting just a couple tables away."

I sit back feeling more relaxed now that the words are flowing. "Honestly, I couldn't begin to thank my good fortune. Whatever alignment of the stars happened that night I'm still giving thanks for, but for a little while I didn't. I'll get to that in a moment." I pick up the glass of water and take a sip before continuing. "Once I spotted them, all through dinner I kept glancing to my side, much to the chagrin of the lovely otter girl sitting opposite me; but how often does a nerd like me get to see Selenica Rae and Adeola Oshodi in the flesh?"

I chuckle to myself as I remember the sequence of events that played out in the restaurant. "To my horror, Selenica and her entourage were leaving just before I finished my meal. I wolfed down the rest of my dinner and excused myself quickly. Then I all but ran out of the door in a panic thinking I'd missed my chance. Luckily I looked around and I spotted Selenica and her troupe talking to two wolves at the corner of the restaurant's parking lot."

I smile widely as I remember how dumb I felt in that moment. "My courage sank to my feet as I got closer, but I pushed on. Selenica saw me coming and I swear she can spot a fanboy from a mile away. After a very awkward 'hello' and a little back and forth I learned that Adeola was extremely funny and Selenica was both well-spoken and incredibly kind."

Looking away from the recorder I spot the picture of the me standing with the two Amazonian beauties. I had it printed out and framed seeing as it marks one of most important events in my life. My sorry looking self, standing in between Selenica and Adeola with a wildly stupid grin on my muzzle. Adeola; the giant, buff hyena to my right; Selenica, the bright pink wolfess on my left. I try to remember the moment but I barely remember the picture being taken. Standing up, I'm nearly half way out the door before I realize I've left the recorder on the desk. "That day..." I mumble as I leave my home office, recorder in paw, and head down the hallway towards the bedroom.

I step into the dimly lit room. The only lights coming from the hall behind me and the street lights and traffic at the foot of the high-rise building. The soft glow punctuated by occasional bright headlights reflecting off of another building give me enough illumination to see clearly. "Sleeping without drawing curtains again..." I can't help but smile at the form on the king sized bed up against the wall. It's a good position, we get a great view of the city first thing in the morning. My eyes find the strong and yet sublimely feminine curves of the body under the thin sheets and I drink them up. Then my gaze catches the dark pink shoulder sticking out from under the sheets, and the mass of raven locks sprawled over the pillow. "I always had a huge crush on Selenica and the day I met her, my heart was trying to beat its way straight out of my chest. I promise you that I think it stopped dead when I saw the woman that I had handed my phone to."

I smile softly at her and lightly stroke her cheek. "Deep violet eyes with thick, dark lashes peered over the edge of my phone and that's all I remember clearly. It's also the reason I have a dumb ass grin in the photo she took."

"When she lowered my phone, I was greeted by my first proper sight of her." Standing near the bed, I kneel at the side the sleeping form and lean in to kiss the pink ear protruding from the waves of black hair. It twitches slightly but her steady breathing retains the same rhythm.

"I didn't know you back then." I addressed the sleeping husky in front of me. "I wish I had the courage to ask your name in that first meeting. I'm willing to bet you whispered it to me, but my blood was pumping so loudly in my ears I couldn't hear a damn thing."

Thinking back I have a vague recollection of what happened next. "You took a photo with me; that much is for sure." I look at the photo of the two of us on the nightstand. Me, utterly dumbfounded, her kissing my cheek and pressing herself to my side. "No denying it, you caught me by surprise with that kiss." I recall some other details of a card with her name on it, but I also remember my mind was in such a ruin at everything that happened in those few minutes that it fell out of living memory until that trip was done.

"I remember looking at the picture of us often over the next couple of days and that's when it happened." Moving to the other side of the bed, I sit down and look at Natalya's sleeping face for a while. "I don't think I'd ever seen a pink furred person in real life before that day. That day I met two. I've since learned that it's a genetic mutation both Natalya and Selenica share that's become more common over the last few decades, and I've since met a few others with similar conditions, but with wildly different results." I shake my head and smirk briefly thinking back to my childhood and thinking that, being a hybrid, I was something unique.

"For the longest time I believed that Natalya and Selenica dyed their fur. With Selenica's company being called 'Life in Pink' it made sense in my mind." As my thoughts shift, I can't help myself but chuckle loudly. "Not a drop of dye in that fur... I know, I've checked thoroughly!"

Natalya stirs from the noise I'm making so I hold my tongue. She's just shifting a little in her sleep; once she settles I continue. "One of Natalya's adorable quirks I've discovered during our time together; is that I could drive a tank through the bedroom and she wouldn't wake up unless it hits the bed."

I pause and take a deep breath. The sigh afterwards takes even longer to vacate my lungs. "A few days later, I got a message on my phone. The weird thing about it was the fact my phone knew the number, but I didn't recognize the name; Natalya Ruskiri. Her profile was in the messenger list and told me who it was though. Even as a collection of pixels those violet eyes pierced right through me. I swear she must have inserted her details while we were taking pictures in the parking lot before anyone noticed."

"I came to learn that she and the rest of the Life in Pink models were doing a lot of photo shoots in the area and would be there for a few months. Then Natalya dropped the bomb and asked me out. She'd been here before but wanted to see the sights around town. It was after that when I learned she has her less than desirable quirks too."

Getting off the bed I return to my office and quickly and glance at the other pictures on my desk before setting the recorder back down. "The first date... I barely remember at all! What I do remembered was Natalya's Russian accent. It was melodic and it worked on me like a siren's song, and she led me straight to drinking with her." I groan thinking about that one night in particular. "The hangover the morning after hurts even now when I try to remember it. I can't even remember getting home. I vehemently promised myself I wouldn't drink again... for the rest of the month at least. We must have been out for several hours because I could barely remember a thing, including how much I should have had left in my wallet. On the upside, the date seemed to have made Natalya happy. She called me the next day and told me that she'd had a good time and wanted to see me again for a night at a pool hall."

My heart flutters and I run my claws through my long hair when I think about what happened next. "The second date was indeed at a local pool hall. I had spent some time there years before taking time out on a work trip; it's a nice place. I picked up Natalya from the lobby of the apartment complex she was staying at. I swear I nearly had a heart attack when she stepped out of the elevator. She wore black torn jeans that showed off plenty of leg. One cut was so high up her inner thigh that it showed off some very skimpy underwear. The lacy high V waistband cresting above her jeans already suggested as much though. The lavender top was snug around her ample breasts... What am I saying... Ample? No, she's got boobs most men would die happy just to have seen! Nat's a busty girl and given how strong she is and how much time she spends working out you'd think she'd have next to nothing. Another physical quirk of hers, and yes, they're real and also, no force in the world could have zipped up the jacket she wore that night either!"

I feel bad when I think about her like this. She is a loving and caring companion and I do my best not to objectify her, but with a body like hers, I'm hard pressed sometimes. I'm thankful that she understands my internal struggles in some way. "It was so hard not to ogle or stare slack jawed at her when she leaned over the table to take a shot from any angle. Sadly some rowdy onlookers also noticed and a chorus of whistles and hoots sounded every time the voluptuous husky approached the table. I hated it to my core, but Natalya didn't even flick an ear at the whooping so I kept quiet. I was ready to defend her honour at a moment's notice, but I wasn't going to make a scene and ruin the evening... The ruining of the evening happened on the third date."

I shake my head. "If anyone was wondering if we made out heavily at the end of the date? No, we didn't. I drove her home and when I dropped her off at her apartment complex, she winked and called me 'Milyy' before turning away and walking off. I think I sat there with the car running for about ten minutes before the blood returned to my brain."

"The third date was a little different. Natalya had chosen a club that she'd heard about and I waited patiently for her to arrive. Fashionably late came and went, and I was a hair's breadth from going home when she walked up behind me." I roll my eyes and gently fan myself at the memory.

"When I saw her I was in awe. The little black dress and heels she wore and left very little to the imagination. We said our greetings and went inside. Dancing was nice; her body being so close to mine and smelling the delicate perfume in her hair. It all seemed like a great night out, but then I left her alone for a short while to get us some drinks. I came back just in time to see some asshat ferret help himself to a firm grope of Natalya's ass. Faster than I could get angry, Natalya turned on her heel and slapped him so hard I heard it over the music. Pretty sure some part of me felt the impact too. I had to spend the next ten minutes preventing Natalya from skinning the guy, even though he deserved it, while at the same time convincing the two bouncers not to throw my date out of the club. The two things I took away from that night were; one, that Natalya doesn't shy away from a fight; and two, that when she gets upset, her accent gets dialled up to eleven!"

I breathe deeply once more as memories flood my mind. "The fourth date... The fourth date was... different; very different in fact. Natalya had me collected by a chauffeur service and brought to a wrap party for the Life in Pink crew. It seemed one of the larger shoots of the trip was over and the whole crew was celebrating." I continue my deep breathing and run my paw over my muzzle in thought before continuing. "I spent the evening surrounded by some of the most beautiful and buff women on the planet, but sadly I didn't see much of my date. Natalya kept excusing herself to have private conversations with the other models or crew. At one point she was gone for well over an hour talking to Selenica. However, on a few occasions we caught each other's eye she made the sweetest smiles and even reached out to me or blew me kisses. It was at that moment I realized I was falling in love with Natalya. Every time she was with me I felt happier than being alone. It was most evident when I got to talk to Selenica. I've had a crush on that beautiful wolfess for years, but the moment I saw Natalya re-join the party, I excused myself to return to my date's side. When the party came to an end; Natalya and I shared a limo as we were driven back home. We actually held paws in the car and when it stopped in front of my apartment building I didn't want to let go. Still, I said my goodbyes and was trying to figure out how to force my body to leave her side; that's when it happened."

I close my eyes and do everything I can to recall the sensations I felt in that moment. "She leaned in without hesitation and kissed me full on the lips. In reality I know it didn't last long, but feeling her lips against mine felt divine and time distorting right until the moment she broke our kiss. With that she smiled sweetly at me again and said goodnight. All in all, the fourth date was the best so far; however, it went downhill from there and a rapidly gathering pace."

I grimace and shake my head. I'm quite the glutton for punishment, but why I didn't break and call it off after the fifth date still confounds me. "The parties and nights out just got wilder and wilder, and Natalya's outfits just got more provocative. It seemed she was doing her best to attract the attention of the most unsavoury people at every event. Mercifully we didn't get into any more fights, but it came close on a few occasions. Between all of that and the constant tension in the air between us; it was sapping the enjoyment out of our time together and it wasn't the only thing."

I get up and pad back towards the bedroom with my recorder in my paw. Opening my dresser drawer, I see my favourite shirt. Wine red, and a fine cotton piece of clothing; it's not super expensive but it's not the original one. That was destroyed. "One date ended with me going home bare chested, the shirt I had been wearing was ripped from my back and torn to shreds by the husky who just seemed to be getting more and more erratic or just plain crazy. It wasn't an expensive shirt but it was my favourite. To be fair, we had been drinking again, breaking the promise I made after the first date yet again, but it still felt like she was purposefully trying to rouse my anger and yet, the very next day before I left for work, I received a new shirt of the same make and colour via courier with a note of apology and a request for another date two days later." I chuckle to myself softly as I close the dresser drawer and check on the sleeping husky once more before heading back to my office. "Well, I fell for it. Another date was had, and then more!"

As I enter the office I drop back into my chair and set the recorder back on the desk. I puff my cheeks and then exhale heavily. "Things got even crazier than that though. She heard about a street-race and wanted to see it for herself. When we were there, Natalya asked me for a dollar and after I produced my wallet she swiped most of the bills I had in there and began to loudly place a bet on one of the cars. I protested, loudly and we got into an argument that ended when the car she bet on placed second and I got my money back with a bonus. Honestly, after that I began to think she was taking me for a ride. I couldn't nail it down for sure but I was certain she knew the driver and had probably been at the race before."

I turn my thought from the dates themselves and just think about her during that time. "Natalya was everything I could have hoped for. Exciting, adventurous, and sexy, but she was doing everything she could to get on my nerves. Every date we went on she seemed to probe for my outer limits." I shake my head clear and return to the focus of my recording. "I nearly broke when at a second Life in Pink party I got soaked. No just a glass of water or something stronger thrown over me. No, I got drenched! The party was being held at a private marina. The crowd was nice and diverse; plenty of people to talk to and schmooze with. Schmooze, is that even a word? Anyway, I was leaning on a low fence while Natalya was speaking loudly and started getting a lot of attention. I never saw what was coming and probably still wouldn't if it happened again. She started walking past me innocently as possible and deftly plucked the latch that secured the part of the fence I was occupying. I'm sure everybody saw, and they all laughed. Me; I was hardly impressed. Thankfully, either by design or just good luck, a spare set of clothing was found, but I was ready to head home. I can't even begin to say how mad I was but I just couldn't bring myself to voice my anger in that moment. I really didn't want to be around Natalya at that time, but she walked me to my car and kissed me hard on the lips again. My mind went blank as she brushed the tip of her tongue over my lips. I swear I saw something that looked like regret in her eyes and every bit of anger I was holding on to just melted away. She thanked me for being a good sport and promised that it wouldn't happen again. That was date number eight; 'one more chance' I told myself, if it went no-where by the end of it, I'd be done with her." I draw the deepest breath I can and let my mind settle on that second life changing night. "Nothing could prepare me for what happened on our next date."

"We went clubbing again. Not the same one we nearly got kicked out of though. It started well, I picked up Natalya. She didn't wear anything trashy or too revealing; a rose gold dress that seemed almost conservative in its length, but as she walked towards me it moved against her body and the fabric seemed to shimmer like liquid rather than the metallic it was." I sigh, remembering the dreadful night.

"In my mind there is nothing more attractive than a woman looking her best and smart enough to know how to wield that visual and physical power. I fell under her spell once more that evening. We headed to the club and shortly after arriving it started." With another long sigh I lean back in my chair. The faint sound of the frame creaking enhanced by the stillness in the apartment.

"The way I was raised, when a lady excuses herself a gentleman should acknowledge her and let her on her way; and so I did. While she was away I got us drinks and stood patiently waiting at the bar, taking sparing sips of from my own glass. As I reached the bottom, I was getting that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, but then she emerged from the crowd, all smiles and began chatting with me as if she had only been gone for a minute. In hindsight I should have figured something was up, but she acted so casual that I couldn't rally my anger. Then, she excused herself for a second time and this time it took much longer for her to return."

I shake my head and rub my temples as I think back to how naïve I was back then. "Like a good pet. I waited at one of the small booths, nursing my drink. By the time that had evaporated by the way of my mouth, I'd moved back to the bar. You'd think a pink husky would be easy to spot, but I couldn't even see a single pink hair. That old familiar feeling of dread hit me, anxiety at its finest, something an ex pulled on me. I moved to where I could see the dance floor, expecting to see her dance with someone else; someone taller, stronger, more good looking..."

Leaning onto the desk again, I take ragged breaths as that same fear fills me. I look at my paws; the one on the right anthracite black, the fur colour I got from my mother. The one on the left a golden orange with black stripes. "Bullied a lot in school; that sure as shit didn't help. Back to the ninth date though; I didn't see her on the floor and was about to leave when she appeared next to me."

"Come dance with me; she said and pulled me onto the dance floor. I remember her words as if she just spoke them a minute ago. My mind didn't think up a good reply as she dragged me onto the floor and began dancing. Again, she behaved like she hadn't just let me sit alone for nearly an hour, and when an Amazonian pink husky presses her back against your chest and starts rubbing herself up against you..." A chuckle escapes my lips, but there is no mirth behind it.

"So Natalya and I danced and had a good time. Then I took her back to the bar and just like that; I turn around and she's gone again. I waited again but my patience finally ran out. Something in my head that just burst; I felt anger boil up inside like I haven't felt since I was a hot headed kid getting into fights at school." I don't say it, but remembering these nights often leads me to relive those strong emotions.

I snort and glance away, looking no-where in particular. "I don't even remember getting up from the stool Natalya left me on. I went straight for the door, but just before I reached the exit I felt a paw on my shoulder. It was Natalya of course; the look on her face was unreadable. She tried to act like nothing was wrong and I snapped. I raised a paw to motion her to be quiet and give me a moment to think; I remember what I said word for word." I draw a shuddering breath as I hope I never have to say these words to her again. "I'm done Natalya; I'm done being a plaything. I don't know why you're doing it, but I'm not playing anymore!"

I recall my next actions were tempered by a good upbringing, but I never felt so bad, or so used. "I moved my paw towards her and Natalya flinched. It didn't register at that time, though with hindsight, I really should have thought through what I was doing; all I saw were her eyes narrowing slightly. I cupped one of her cheeks and leaned in and kissed the other one before whispering a goodbye in her ear."

Depression fills my thoughts knowing full well it could have been the end, but I have more story to tell. "After that I turned around and walked out of the club. I was so angry; I forgot where I parked and spend a good while roaming around before calming down enough to get my bearings and finding my way back to my car. Natalya was waiting for me and for a several seconds we just looked each other in the eyes. Something strange was going on, she seemed extremely upset. Not close to tears, but certainly distraught."

I tremble. It's a gut wrenching thing as I think back on it. I feel now like I did then; like a wounded animal. "I felt sick, but more than anything, I was tired, tired of the games, of being ignored, and being put in some really uncomfortable situations." I steady my breathing and take a moment to compose myself. "Then, without a word she stepped up to me. Her left paw rose slowly and came to rest on the back of my neck and her right paw lightly gripped above my elbow. She held herself to me, not in a forceful hug, but just wanting to be close. Her head rested on my shoulder and I felt her sigh as she pushed her head against my neck. For all my boiling anger, I found this remarkably calming. After about a minute she lifted her head and kissed my cheek softly. If apologies came in kisses, then that one was well loaded."

I let out a small huff and shake my head. "I still remember what happened next as clear as day. She took less than a half step back but still held on to my arm and neck. She apologized, not just an 'I'm sorry' apology, but a heartfelt sincere apology. I felt like she was trying to make up for every date that had gone wrong in some way, which was pretty much, all of them? Maybe, I think there was a good one in there." I close my eyes and furrow my brow as I repeat what she said to me. "This not what I wanted. It not the way night was supposed to go." I smile sadly to myself. "I swear when she's upset, and expresses it, no-one could be mad at her." Swallowing hard I continue. "She really looked like she was about to cry; months later I asked her about it and she admitted if I had just left, she'd have been in tears. Back to the night in question though, I asked why she'd been ignoring me. She pulled out her phone and pulled up her call list for the day. She'd taken fifteen calls while we were at the club. Some were only a few minutes, but several were over ten minutes long and shortly followed up by others. She told me the Life in Pink team were getting ready to go home. Selenica and Astrid were checking on their travel arrangements to go to San Diego while everyone else was flying back to mainland Europe. She'd mentioned some other issues that had arisen that she was smoothing over, but I don't recall the details."

Sighing heavily I roll my head from side to side. "In the end she hugged me tight, and apologized for what had happened and asked if I would give her one more chance. That stubborn block in me really didn't want to give up on her, but I was so tired; that alone nearly made me refuse. Nat gave me the reigns for what felt like the first time. She'd asked me to show her around and yet she'd taken me almost everywhere we went. She asked for dinner and drinks, but places and times were up to me.

I lean back in my chair again, staring at the ceiling as I rub my muzzle with both paws. "Well, no surprise; I accepted the invitation and the tenth and final date went... Well; exceptionally well in fact." I regard the recorder for several seconds before shaking my head. "It is a long story. So, maybe I'll record that crowning adventure another time, but that date is the reason we've been together for more than a year now."

"However, I've started to describe my anxieties and a lot of it revolves around my fright that women in my life will inevitably leave me for someone better than I am. My confidence has received several hard hits over the course of my life and each one of my exes combined couldn't come close to Natalya's intelligence, charisma, and strength of character. I often wonder if I am worthy of having a woman like her in my life?"

Putting a paw on my chest, I can feel my heart beating rapidly. "In a short while, I'll climb into bed and sleep next to that warrior goddess, and by morning she'll have cuddled up to my side. How many guys would kill to be in my shoes for even a single night? How the fuck did I get this lucky and when will my luck run out?"

I start to look out of the massive window, gazing into the night and watch the world go by. "Maybe I shouldn't think about it and live the life that's been dealt to me, but sadly convincing myself to accept this fact is a lot tougher. There is a stubborn streak inside of me, the same stubbornness that no doubt refused to give up on Natalya."

Picking up the recorder, I leave my office once more. I head to the living room wanting a better view than the single window in my office. Sitting on the leather couch in the dark I look out of the large windows to the city's skyline around me. "The hard part of this life is, Natalya travels a lot. I try to join her on as many of her trips as I can and try to co-inside them with my own work travel, but working remotely has it limits." I think about those weeks of being alone when my anxiety grips hardest. In my mind I feel the thought claw at me; that if she worked more with male models I would be a complete wreck; and yes, it's just as petty as it sounds." Resting my chin in my palm, I pause the recording.

For several minutes I sit in silence before idly flicking the recorder back on. "The joy I feel in my heart when she comes home... I can't even begin to describe it, and then... There's the sex."

I chuckle loudly as I flip the recorder over in my paw again and again.

"Sex between Natalya and I... Well, it's amazing! Sometimes it's at the end of a romantic evening. The build-up; the desire thick in the air you could cut it with a knife. Most of the time though, it just sort of happens. I might have a need or she might; it's not always obvious when it's the case. But, after about four months we started to learn each other's tells. And, like I said, sometimes there's just no warning and if we're alone all it might take is a paw on a hip, a glance from across the room or a casual word said a certain way. Whichever way it happens, we're normal out of contact to everyone for at least thirty or forty minutes... minimum!"

I smile; not a smug smile, though by all rights it should be, but the recent memory filling my thoughts warms me and I feel my anxiety level drop for the moment. "Let me tell you about this morning. I was in the gym; it's actually an extra bedroom Natalya converted. Ever since we finally got together she's had me on a tight training schedule. After being with her I wanted to be better and she offered to help get me into shape. Who was I to refuse?" I pat my flat stomach with a grin of satisfaction and feel my abs slightly bump under my fur. "I was sitting on the weight bench, doing my reps in peace and quiet and working up a sweat, looking out of the window to the city below. I watched Natalya enter the room in the reflection of the glass. She acted like I wasn't even there and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Natalya enjoys playing her games and this one? I'm a huge fan. Without any interruption from me, she stood in front of the body mirror taking stock of her appearance. She was taking her time and it was driving me crazy."

My heartbeat begins to race. "I lost count of my reps, so I set the weight on the floor and watched Natalya do a quick stretch before her aerobic routine. I said earlier that I don't like objectifying her, but when she makes it clear she wants to be watched, it's hard to refuse or let my mind wander down that path. My eyes drank in the sight of her. Her grey top was hanging loose from her shoulders and the leggings she wore were the opposite, extremely snug; showing off her amazing ass and leg muscles in detail. The black and blue fabric accenting her pink fur perfectly as she lingered in her stretches."

Getting into the memory, I sit back in the chair and close my eyes as I recall every detail of that morning. "One thing worth knowing; no matter how sexy Natalya dresses, she hates things that chafe, and will often go about without underwear when she exercises; such was the case today. She was baiting me and I swallowed, hook, line and sinker. Hell, I even took a bite out of the fishing pole."

"She watched me in the mirror as I got off the bench. Wearing only a pair of gym shorts, she could easily see the effect her simple teasing was having on me. Without a word I walked up behind her and reached over her shoulder with one paw. Using my index and middle finger I caressed her chin to turn her head towards me. Her eyes met mine and her mouth already pulled at the corners for what was coming. No matter how heavily the sparks crackle in the air between us and we want to tear each other's cloths off, it always starts with a kiss."

A sigh escapes my mouth. "With one paw on her hip, the other caressing her throat and neck I kissed her. Immediately her tongue slipped into my mouth and the paw on her hips slipped around to her stomach and I let my fingers brush through her silky fur. She turned her head to deepen the kiss and coiled her tongue around mine as if wanting to pull it right out of my mouth. I moved my paw from her throat to join the other on her stomach. Tensing my arms I pulled her firmly against my body and letting her feel the reaction she had on me. My gym shorts were tented as my dick rubbed against her lower back. Nat replied in kind as she always does; rolling her hips slowly, rhythmically, beckoning me to ravish her in the safety of our apartment."

Thinking of the ferocious days and nights when we've had sex I growl softly to myself. More often than not, Nat wants to play rough. Really rough! She trusts me implicitly with her body and in our early days together, we decided on a no-holes barred rule. I always seem to reap the benefit of this agreement, but Natalya really doesn't seem to mind. In some ways I think she enjoys it more than I do. "I wanted nothing more than what she was offering. The paw I had moved to her stomach slid back up quickly, easily finding its way under her loose top before the back of my thumb touched the underside of her bare breasts. The perkiness of Natalya's absolutely fabulous endowments, border on supernatural. Some people think they are fake but as I took hold of one and squeezed hard I am once more reminded that every last bit of her body is her own natural beauty. For my roughness I was rewarded with a lusty groan from her. She broke the kiss and was already panting hard. I could feel it against my muzzle as our eyes remained locked on each other's. I moved my other paw, sliding over the top of her legging before dipping down between her heavenly thighs. With the tip of my finger I found her mound and even the barest touch told me that my gorgeous lover was soaking wet. Dragging the tip of my claw over the fabric covering her full and swollen lips I made her moan. I kept teasing Natalya, making her moan and rise up on her toes. I cupped her breast in my paw firmly and then guided my fingers to her nipple. I pinched and rolled the absolutely rock hard nub; Natalya arched her back and her shoulders pushed even harder against my chest."

My nose twitches as I'm certain I smell her scent close to me. I look up but all I see is the dimly lit apartment and all I hear is the soft rustle of sheets from the bedroom. "Her arms remained at her sides while I toyed with her. She was giving me free reign and I gladly made use of the privilege. It was then that I remembered we were standing in front of the mirror. Pressing my cheek against her neck, I looked at our reflections. This Amazonian goddess in my arms, a dark stain around her crotch and half her top raised from where my paw stuck out from underneath. I grabbed her top in both paws and pulled it up. Natalya growled playfully at me as the fabric rubbed over her breasts and I felt her shudder against me. The smell of her arousal finally began to pierce through the veil of her delicate perfume and my own sweat. I raised my paws to her breasts and gave them both a good grope, they're the perfect balance between firm and soft and it made me growl in pleasure. In my shorts, I felt my dick twitch, rubbing against her grinding ass; the wet patch on her leggings prominently rubbing on my cock and my own shorts were becoming wet without her outside help."

I look down and see I'm in a similar predicament just recalling the story. I just smile and keep on talking. "I let go of her heavenly breasts and started to peel her leggings off of her ass. When I pushed the waistband down her muscular thighs, the full blast of her arousal hit the air and I swear I began drooling. I couldn't wait any more and moved my paws to my own shorts and nearly popped the elastic in the waistband when I shoved them down my legs."

My anxiety fades as my thoughts dwell on making love to Natalya and my erection continues to grow. "I was ready; I raised a paw and grabbed hold of her long black locks and gently shoved my lover forward. When her nipples touched the cold mirror she tensed, but I pressed her firmly against the reflective surface. My other paw held her hip, helping me aim as I bent my knees and dragged the tip of my cock between the cleft of her ass. Natalya let out a needy whimper and when I looked up, she had her cheek pressed against the mirror with her paws either side of it on the wall, her eyes closed and her muzzle open as she panted; fogging up the glass. Her excitement was evident though as her tail bashed against my stomach frantically."

I feel powerful through my thoughts for a moment, dominant and in control, I think it helps that Nat seems to instinctively know when I need to be dominant and when she needs to take the reins. "I was tempted to say something obscene, but as the tip of my cock touched her soaking wet crotch one thought filled my mind; warm, wet and velvety soft pussy. When I pushed in she gripped the wall with a hungry growl. Pressing my chest against her back I pinned her to the mirror, freeing the paw on the back of her head. I glide my fingers down her shoulder and side to touch her breast where it was squashed against the mirror. I was still pushing in and taking my time about it. My lover bared her pearly white fangs; I knew she wanted me to stop playing and so I did."

I hear a growl in my voice as I keep talking. "I still went slow and steady, knowing full well that she loves it as when I used my stubby barbs; a benefit of being a hybrid canine and feline. Every tug on her flesh made her growl, but she clearly wanted more. I gave her hip one more quick squeeze before sliding my paw that was at her breast down her front and between her legs. Every time I pulled back, I felt her thigh quiver against my fingers. With practised ease I found Natalya's clitoris in the wet mess. Moving my hips faster I made my fingers tease her sensitive fleshy pearl. Listening to her gasps and groans told me exactly what to do next."

The thought of her moving against me makes me loosen my belt and unfasten my pants, giving my erection a chance to spring free. "She started gyrating her body against me. While my hips smacked against hers. She tensed her inner muscles and squeezed every last millimetre of my shaft that she could get grip on. Again, I need to compliment her; none of my exes come close to the energy or flexibility of Natalya. Making love to my Russian Queen is something I will never tire off. No matter how bad I feel, Natalya can always coax me out of a rut and usually gets what she wants in the process; this morning was no exception."

I can't help my own panting as I talk, but I think anyone would understand given what I'm describing. "Putting her paws on the mirror Nat started pushing back. Bending over more, she shoved her ass firmly into my crotch. She left smears on the mirror where her breast had been squashed. We still hadn't said a word and we didn't need to. My left paw easily slipped around to cup her breasts, switching occasionally between the large mounds. I could see my tiger striped limb in the reflection as I pressed my cheek against the side of her neck. Growling softly, I let my lover know I got her message. My fingers slipped over her clitoris pushing down a little more firmly, rubbing the bundle of nerves right against my shaft as I sped up even more; the dull smacks of my hips and balls smacking her muscular rump and crotch. She was sopping wet inside and even her most powerful squeezes did nothing to stop my cock from going deep inside her. As I felt her body starting to tremble, she turned her head towards me and then she finally spoke in a barely audible whisper. 'Go to bench.' When she lowers her voice like that, it makes my heart melt."

I grab my dick and squeeze my thick flesh lightly. "Her accent was thick, but the message was clear. Raising my paw from her crotch, I took a breast in each paw and enjoyed the warmth and the weight pressing into my paws. She giggled but I could tell she wanted to move on; so before Natalya could get annoyed with me I slowly drew my paws back, letting my claws comb through her fur; noting that most of it on her back was matted with our sweat. When my paws ended up on her rump, I pulled out. The sudden change of temperature around my cock sent a shiver down my spine, but before I could stop it my cock squirted pre all over Natalya's backside."

I picture her with the sunlight beaming off of her soft fur and my cock twitches. "She didn't notice at first when I took a few steps backwards, instead she stood there, leaning against the mirror and panting hard. I stopped to look backwards for a moment and made sure not to bump into the weight bench and fall over. Only after I sat down did I look back up and saw Natalya run a finger over her butt to collect some of the mess. 'So much waste...' she purred at me." I shudder, remembering the lust in her voice being so thick it still affects me hours later. "Her violet eyes were locked squarely on my crotch and, when she licked her lips hungrily I felt that peculiar mix of apprehension and excitement that you'd get at the top of a roller-coaster."

"She walked towards me, taking care to step around the trail of droplets I'd left behind. As she prowled towards me, I scooted my ass to the middle of the bench. Natalya strode up to my side and easily swung her leg over my lap. She pushed me onto my back with one paw on my chest and I retaliated by putting both of my paws on her breasts. Straight away my fingers found her nipples and toyed with them." I sigh imagining the sensation of her thighs gripping my hips.

"Natalya arched her back from my teasing, but didn't let herself get too distracted. I could feel her pussy leaking warm juices onto my thighs as she moved forwards. She had her other paw firmly around the base of my cock, squeezing the small bulge of my knot where it was expanding at a rapidly accelerating rate. Then with a roll of those amazing hips, she pressed her pussy up against my cock. I glanced down once to see her swollen folds part around my shaft before the rush of pleasure fully hit me. My head rolled back off the end of the weight bench and I groaned loudly as Natalya engulfed me once more."

Standing up, I have to adjust my pants. And then adjust them again after taking my first step. Walking up to the window I look down at the streets, nearly twenty floors below me. Suddenly I am reminded of having sex in this exact spot, two bodies pressed up against the window. I felt my body shiver but stopped myself from going into a flight of fancy, I had a story to tell. "Natalya began to ride me. Not just moving her hips against mine. I mean full on riding me, the weight bench's metal frame creaking from her momentum. It held well, though she bought it for its sturdy frame. This would not be the first we wrecked."

A soft chuckle leaves my lips as my ears feel warm. A little shame mixed in with the pride of demolishing furniture with sex. Not to mention the fact I'm recording myself speaking about it.

"Natalya leaned over me, resting her weight on my paws. It was the most pleasurable weight lifting I had ever done, my fingers firmly pressed into her breasts and holding on tightly. I was panting already and I felt my muscles working hard to keep her sitting up. From the look in her eyes, she was enjoying the view as much as I was."

I rest my head against the window, letting the cold surface cool my hot blood for a little. "The wild pink husky was relentless. She actually held herself back from slamming down on my growing knot. Instead, she used the angle to grind her clit against it. She was making a right mess, the kind that leaked down your crotch and ass. I could even feel it soak the fur on my tail. Several times I had to clench my teeth to keep in a vocal outburst as Natalya was getting close. I could feel it building inside of her; the subtle twitch of certain muscles against my cock. The reaction for me was Pavlovian by now as it hastened my own orgasms; my balls already tingling. The only thing was missing was my knot getting a good squeeze from the pink canine's pussy."

I pull my face off the window and chuckle softly. "She had other plans." Walking into the kitchen, I grab myself a glass of water. "So much talking," I comment as my tongue was feeling a little dry from my monologue. I return to the office, setting the glass and the recorder down on the desk. "Natalya began to really push down on me, pushing my workout to the next level. At the same time she began to become much more vocal, urging me on; to fuck her good and deep."

Taking a drink I let the water settle at the back of my mouth before swallowing. "I did my best. Tensing the muscles in my leg to thrust my hips up into her. Still she wouldn't let my knot slip inside, her fingers blocking it's path effectively. I could feel how the muscles in my stomach began to burn from the exertion. It felt so damn good. My mind began to close, focussing only on my own body. So I didn't notice what my actions were doing to my gorgeous lover sitting on top of me. By moving on my own, my dick was shifting around inside her, rubbing against different spots and the barbs plucking at different nerve ends."

Leaning back in my chair I shudder. With my eyes closed I can see it happen as clear as this morning. "Natalya shuddered once before letting out a primal shout that I'm sure disturbed the neighbours. Though, they quickly learned never to disturb her during sex."

I let out a quick chuckle. "Natalya pulled off my cock in a rush, the move nearly finished me, and came hard. Now, she isn't a squirter. Not like what you see in porn where you question whether or not some pee is involved. Still, she easily soaked my lower abdomen in her fluids. Having pushed herself up off my cock, I had a clear view of her pussy. Swollen, slightly agape and twitching in the aftershocks of her orgasm. Thick drops of her juices still dripping from those lips as she leaned back."

I take another sip of water. "The sight, the smell. I was still right on the edge when Nat sat down on my thighs. Panting hard, I wasn't in a position to really complain but I yearned for my own release. I should not have worried though. My pleasure was in goods paws. Natalya still held my knot with one paw and squeezed, making sure I was still right on the edge. Then she took hold of my shaft with her other paw, those soft but strong fingers wrapping around it. She knows how to give me a paw-job, twisting and changing the angle of her paw for my pleasure. Her fingers went up and down in a blur, tugging my barbs and hitting every nerve along the way. I dropped down on the bench and groaned loudly as I blew my load within seconds of her starting; I couldn't stop it if I wanted to. All I saw was a bright flash behind my eyelids and occasionally the building on the opposite side of the street; inverted. I lay almost limp on the weight bench as I came.

"I don't know how much time passed. But the wet fur on my stomach and crotch felt cold when I snapped out of my stupor. When I raised my head, Natalya was sitting on my lap, leaning back panting and seemingly proud as a peacock. It took a moment for my eyes to focus properly as her clear white stomach seemed to glisten more than usual. Then I saw it, my load, my mess all over her front. Long streaks went up her stomach, I even managed to hit her breasts, thick droplets clinging between those large mounds. 'Oh wow.' Was all I could say and that amazement continued as Natalya ran a paw through the mess and then proceeded to lick it off her fingers.

"That look she gives me after sex, that look of pure love, our souls entwined in that one moment."

I take a deep breath and then sigh. "And then that mischievous smile returns. Without saying a word she leaned forward, grabbing the edge of the weight bench on either side of my chest. I knew what she was about to do but my arms felt like pool noodles. The first thing I feel it my still semi-hard dick against her crotch as she pins it between us. Then her breasts, the nipples to be precise, poking in my chest before those large mounds push down on me. Being face to face with my lover I just grinned at her. Natalya returned the grin and began to rock her body back and forth. It doesn't take long before the smell of my own cum assails my nose and I feel the cold wetness of the goo seep through my fur."

"I gave her my usual look when she was being a brat and said. 'I need to be in the office in an hour.' Nat just laughed and rubbed herself against me more firmly before speaking in a soft lilting voice. 'You had better take shower quickly. Da?' The Russian accent was still thick and she was having too much damn fun with me that morning..."

A realization suddenly dawns on me and I glance at the recorder. "I just realized I filled about half this tape with smut." I laugh softly to myself and shake my head. "I should be disappointed in myself for that." I'm not though. Looking down, my pants were still straining like mad. "Time to take care of that..." I reach for the recorder and turn it off before booting up my computer. "Time to numb myself a bit." I log into the servers at work and start crunching some numbers to take my mind of my sexual escapades with the pink goddess in my life.

After a good while my body is back to it's normal and I switch the recorder back on. "Life with Natalya is never boring to say the least." I speak softly as I lean back into the chair. "I love her. I do love her so much..."

There is a noise at the front door of the apartment and I look at the clock; it is past midnight. I hear the door open and close before there is a sharp clicking that echoes through the hall. I don't move and just listen as I hear the clicking noise go into the bedroom. It remains quiet for a while before my nose picks up a delicate perfume wafting into my office. Two strong muscular arms slide down my shoulders to my front, large sharp claws poking through my shirt to gently scratch at the fur underneath. "Come to bed..." A feminine and slightly sleepy voice whispers in my ear.

"Let me just shut down the computer." I say out loud and I am rewarded with a deep sensual purring that accentuates the kiss being planted on my cheek. As the arms on my chest pull back I grab one of the large grey furred paws and turn it over so I can kiss the palm. "I won't be long."

Another long purr resounded from behind me and as I look over my shoulder I see the muscular bare back of a red headed goddess. The muscles under her thick fur shifting, her ass swaying seductively that calls me like a siren song. I close down my computer and as the monitor goes black I grab the recorder from the desk. Holding it close to my muzzle I whisper into it. "Ah, Bethany. Now there is another interesting tale," I smile as I turn the device off and drop it into a desk drawer. As I walk out of my office towards the bedroom my tail can't stop wagging.