Dying Dream
#118 of The Lost Element
Something feels wrong... Something I can't describe... Everything is such a blur... Sleeping... Dreaming... Wandering... Nothing ever sticks... But even as I dream, I feel...something... Something that tells me I should wake up.
These images... They are...dimming? They're...becoming too quiet. Colors becoming too dull. And...I feel myself fading too... Like I'm dreaming deeper...and deeper like I might never wake up... I can...just barely remember before I began to dream... He was in my arms. Why did I fall back to sleep instead? And why am I now...remembering this while so deep asleep?
Wait... I can feel him... He's...closer this time. If I can just...find him out there. But I feel like I barely have any control over myself. It's all a dream...but I know he's out there. And...something feels wrong. Is he...hurt? Did something happen to him? This suspicion in my heart... Who hurt you and why?
No... I feel this dream fading... Everything slipping away... And it's dragging me down with it. Mind feels...faint... No... No, not like this... He's out there... He needs me... No, I can't let myself dream forever. Need to wake up... Need to get out of this... Come on... Wake up. Come on, Cynder! WAKE UP!!!
I... I'm awake now. I'm aware. I actually feel good. Eyes are open, mind is clear, feet are on the ground. And...I'm trapped in these accursed shackles again... How did he get them off the last time? Can I do it myself? Wait... Right! Where is he?!
Why am I still here in this place? I held on as tightly as I could! Why was I left behind?! You were holding me so tightly that no one would've ever pried us apart. So then why...am I not with you? His name... What even was it? I think...he called himself a human? And his name... Ja... James! Yes, that's the one! Where are you, James?! And what's...happening to this world?
These twisted shapes... And these fading colors... It feels like this world is dying. What kind of realm am I even trapped in? But I know he's out there. If I stay too long in this place...will I fade away too?
I need to hurry. He's out there. I can almost feel him. Quickly, before this dying world swallows us both! If I'm fast enough, I should be able to stay ahead of this world's decaying. But these shapes all around me... Trees and meadows? Wooden ships that sail the skies? And there's discarded weapons all over. Need to mind my feet...
It's just a mishmash of different things that make no sense... And everything is...stretched and twisted. I would say that it's like something out of a dream, but...even this is too dreamlike. It's disturbing... And the colors are still fading no matter how close I get. I need to find him first...
What's happened since I last saw him? He was so troubled... Even that beautiful princess of the shadows insisted I stay with him to watch over him. I was more than happy to. He had been there for me when I needed him most, so I was there for him too. But just how bad has the situation become? What happened to him since the night...where we were forced apart again?
I should've been there for him... I should've held on tighter! If I didn't let go, maybe I could've save him! Is this my fault?! Oh please... Please, not like this! James, just a little longer! Next time, I swear I won't let myself be left behind! I'll keep you safe like I promised! But first...I need to find you. Where even are you?!
This twisted shapes... I think I see a tower spiraling into the sky. Something feels especially creepy about that one. Almost like it should not be there. All these shapes... Am I seeing bits and pieces of a village? Those are thatched roofs. A battlefield, a fleet of ships, and now a village with a stone tower spiraling into the heavens? What does this even mean?
But no matter where I go, I feel...so alone. Like I should've seen someone by now. And not just him. But I have been hearing things around me. Distant voices echoing and fading... Like someone used to be wherever I run, but just...aren't anymore. Almost like...memories that can't be completely recalled anymore.
I know he's somewhere ahead. But the shapes... The color is still fading... And it's gaining on me. The colors are fading, and now...the shapes are fading! But I'm just fine? My body is still as colorful as it's always been... But will that void of gray claim me too?
I'm charging as fast as I can down these twisted paths... It almost feels like that void of gray consuming everything is converging on exactly where he is up ahead... No matter how far off he might be. And...it's overtaking me!
No... No, don't slip up now! Faster... Faster! The road beneath me has faded to gray...and no all the pebbles and earthy patterns have disappeared! Everything ahead of me is losing all color and form... If I can just follow it... Just...don't lose sight of it...
Farther and farther away... I can barely see anything. Juts a vast expanse of gray as far as the eye can see. I...
I can't go on. There's nowhere to go. No paths to follow. No sounds to listen for. I'm still whole for the moment...but for how much longer? This world...is dead. Empty. And...I can't even feel him out there anymore. Even he is gone now... He was only barely holding on... And I couldn't reach him.
James... I said I was with you. I was supposed to be there for you when you needed someone... When you needed me. And...I couldn't save you... Even when you were all I ever had.
This...wretched feeling inside me... Those wicked shadows of despair... This void of gray will consume me like it took him. Everything's gone... He's gone. He was all I ever...
No... No... It doesn't matter anymore... Nothing matters anymore...