Black tears and falling leaves
This story is the day's leading up to the death of a young teenager. If you do not wish to be saddened please do not read any further.
Black tears and falling leaves
James stared down from the heights on the second floor of his home as his son walked into the small stand of trees that blocked the houses from the street. His mind reviewed the otter's short fourteen years of life and with a murmur of disgust. He turned from the bay window back into his office, the room held three walls of bookshelves filled to the breaking point and an old fashioned wooden desk made from a cherry tree. The oak panel floor was covered with a rug woven in some country he had never bothered to learn the name of, the deep green reading chair by the window could be made into his napping area with the addition of a green footrest.
With a sigh he settled into his huge leather office chair and laced his fingers before his face in his normal musing position. What am I going to do with him? Every time I try and push him into sports or, well, any_activity he shuts down. He's just like his mother._ As the thought filled him his eyes flitted to the picture of three people playing in a park. A blond otter pup swung happily from his parent's arms. Arion had been four in the picture and Cassie had been alive then. The old wound from when she'd died surged into life in his chest, it sent a chilling wave of nothingness into his heart. `
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Arion felt the eyes on him as usual and he turned into the safety of the trees behind the house. James was always willing to watch him but never willing to talk. Silence was the golden rule in the house. All through the day, silence. Deep into the night no sounds echo in the halls, not even five years ago the house had been filled with sound. Music and laughter, friends, fun, and even the sounds of love, one and all they filled the big building to bursting. The hospital had been full of sounds too. Beeping and gasps, little squeaks from the nurse's shoes and the soft sound of someone sobbing far in the distance. Arion shivered as he remembered that and tripped on an exposed root that caught his toe. He ached for those old times, for people and smiles, laughter and closeness.
With a drawn out sigh he turned back to the trail he'd made over years of walking to his bus stop. The wind through the trees sent a small shiver down his spine as he hugged the purple and steel grey striped hoodie to tighter to his body. All his clothes were of the two same colors. Dark grey pants that fit snuggly against his skin, his shirt was a darker purple under the hoodie and even his hair was dyed to match his colors, as it shifted in the breeze. His hazel eyes peered from inside the darkness of the hood looking for more obstacles to avoid.
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The bus was filled to capacity; furs sat two and three to nearly each seat. Arion moved down the rows looking for a place he could slip into without making himself more noticeable. His body was tiny for his age so he could slide in anywhere as long as the occupant wasn't two seats wide. With another sigh he moved down the row and sat with one of the only people he could.
The flame red hair of the girl on the seat next to him made his eyes hurt a little. When he looked at her white fur and sky blue eyes he was unable to see anything but the flames that danced on her feline skull. He sighed again as the cat drew in a rather large breath.
"So how have you been Arion?!" She paused long enough for her words to penetrate then began the long bombardment on his sanity that would last until they pulled into the lot at school. "I looked up the story of Arion; he was a minstrel or something right? He's the one who jumped overboard and used his lute to charm dolphins into carrying him to shore, right? I love dolphins they're my favorite mammals, you know they're mammals right? They have babies vaginally and care for them. But they live in the sea, so they are sea mammals, weird right?! You know I once saw the ocean, it was beautiful..."
Arion nodded every so often to let the cat think he was listening and blocked her out. He slowly readied himself for another harrowing day in high school.
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The bus pulled into the normal spot at the end of the other buses and the door flew open. Arion flowed with the rest neither trying to be first no falling to the rear. Mediocrity is safe. Don't stand out and you won't be noticed. Harsh lessons that high school teaches an unlucky majority.
Arion followed the masses inside, one of the herd, just another head in a crowd of cattle. The entry hall was lined with lockers like every other hall throughout the building, all of them painted in the school colors of Blue for loyalty and Black for death. He humored himself with this as the mascot dressed in the guise of a fluffy Hyena gamboled past, an odd squeaking laugh left in his wake as well as the smell of a fur sweating profusely into an already sweaty suit.
A smothered smile flitted across his face as he turned a corner heading for his locker when a tan furred arm was propelled into his chest as a foot caught his ankle. Panic filled his mind as his hands grasped after empty air. With a thud his back and skull hit the ground and for once he regretted not having his heavy overly full backpack. The thought vanished as he realized the air had been forced from his lungs, and an aching chill filled his chest.
The arm above him fell. After propelling him to the ground the big wrestler standing over him shrugged as someone came to his defense. There was a flash of flame hair and white fur just before Arion felt a throbbing in his temples and his lungs started to shrivel with their need for air. Everything slowly darkened like black paint tossed over a T.V screen.
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Arion's eyes slid open and he sighed as his vision was filled with the ceiling of the nurse's office, again. He opened his mouth and let in a deep breath. The headache that had woken him lessened a little but he needed some kind of headache reliever to get rid of it all together.
"So you're awake now?" The voice was one he knew but he couldn't place it. Arion looked over at the flame haired cat who spoke in a way he'd never heard before.
With an internal sigh the small otter nodded and without meaning to one of his hands rose to his temples and he stroked them. The flame haired girl rose and disappeared behind the curtain after giving him a pink lipped smile. A moment later she returned with the nurse, a boxer and a small bottle of Advil in her white furred hand. "Th-thanks" He looked from the girl to the nurse not really sure which he was addressing.
With a hurried motion he tossed the pills into his mouth and paused remembering how much he hated swallowing pills dry. The flame haired cat smiled and offered him a paper cup holding a small amount of water. "Thanks," His eyes shifted to the side a little uncomfortable at the female cat's consideration and kindness.
"Derek is suspended for three days. And he may be prosecuted for physical abuse." The flame haired cat spoke evenly. Her normally high pitched and grating voice was smooth and gentle as she spoke to him. "I reported him to the principle when you passed out." She said with a smile, Arion managed to grin back. He knew now Derek would be after him even more, and now maybe even the rest of the wrestling team.
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James turned back from the picture and realized his leg was fully asleep as well as his whole tail and left ass cheek. With a rather dramatic sigh he rose and tried to make it around long enough for his leg and ass to return to normal. Spent the whole fucking morning daydreaming. I need to get this chapter done or my editor will fly in just to remove my skin, whole.
After walking around enough to get blood to his leg, he returned to his desk and powered up his laptop. The lights danced on the tiny screen and soon he had to reach into his desk drawer, the glasses he took out were more magnifying lenses strapped to frames than the more widely used corrective lenses. They made his eyes look enormous but they allowed him to see the tiny script on the screen.
Now fully ready to begin he cracked his knuckles and ran his finger down the cheek of his wife in the picture, then spun in his chair once, completing his ritual. He settled his mind to the task of writing and in the span of a deep breath he called up his illusory world.
In his mind the shape of his horrific image of our world coalesced, it was a world much like ours though trapped in the hell that was the Dark Age. People suffered under the rule of others while monsters in the form of men preyed upon the innocents in other ways. There was no respite, no safe haven for the people of his world.
Just as his character took shape in his mind he was shaken from his near trance by the ringing of his cell phone.
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Arion sat up as his father loomed over him. The otter had a medium build and golden blond hair. His body had once been trim and muscular but now his belly had a layer of fat and his tail was gaining its own layer. His clothes like everything about him were a little disheveled. From the top to bottom he was a mess. His clothes looked slept in and his hair was sticking up in every direction.
"Come on Arion." Without further speech the young otter was led from the school.
In the parking lot Arion's father climbed into his car and buckled up. Arion followed suit tossing his bag into the back seat then buckled himself in and tired to sink into it. This was the first time he had seen James all week.
"So..." James turned to look at his son for a moment then pulled his eyes away and back to the road as he pulled onto the main street. "You got beat up, again?" The slight twist of the last word made it an accusation.
Arion felt tears beginning to build so instead of speaking and letting his father know just how much he was hurting he turned to the window and pulled the hood further over his face. The swirls of color that flew by his window made his head spin. Green and brown for the trees, light grey for the cement, and grey blue from the overcast sky. James sighed heavily and turned on the radio.
The first song was an old love ballad. The heavy bass line and the guitar riffs added another level to Arion's still aching head. To lessen the effect of the noise he rolled down his window and let the cool air rush into his face. The wind cut the music and brought him the smells of the outside. Earthy and clean from the trees as well as the stone and asphalt scent from the road.
Before Arion realized it they were home, James parked his car in the garage beside the old custom-silver Mustang Cassie had driven. Both Arion and his father avoided looking at the vehicle as they hurried into the house by the adjacent door. The house was nearly silent as usual the ticking of the wall clock seemed to fill the empty time between each of their breaths.
Arion dropped his bag beside the kitchen door and sat at the table after grabbing a carving knife from the wooden knife holder. The bowl of fruit on the table was close to going bad as it had been there for nearly four days without anyone bothering to take one of the Granny Smith or the Golden Delicious apples. Soon Arion had a single string of spiral skin the color of new leaves in a heap before him.
The boy watched the knife slice through the flesh with an ease that could be terrifying. When the apple was fully peeled Arion stabbed into the flesh of it with care cutting a sliver from the body and taking it to his mouth on the blade of the knife. He then noticed his father still in the room.
James stood near the center island and seemed to watch his son thinking furiously of something he could say. Over the past four years James and Arion had drifted from loving father and son, to friends, and then finally to distant acquaintances. Their memory was a heavy burden, James saw his wife in his son, Arion saw the lack of his mother in James. Knowing this only made it harder for them.
Eventually when the silence continued into the range of the unbearable Arion stood and tossed his tortured apple into the trashcan next to the pantry. Arion saw James open his mouth he headed for the hall, but no sound left his mouth. Expecting nothing else the teen headed for the stairs wondering if his mother would have hugged him or tried to comfort him in some other way. Cassie had been one for hugs, her auburn hair and emerald eyes could easily have been fierce. But Arion could only remember kindness and gentleness from her.
The boy made it to his room and while the door was still swinging shut he felt tears falling from his eyes. A shuddering cry left his mouth and before another could be uttered he dove onto his bed and dug his head under the pillows. His face became hot and he could feel his lungs laboring against the stuffing in the pillow. Sleep fell on him like a thin mist settling so slowly he didn't even truly notice.
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The dream spun quickly. In the deep darkness bright flashes of light illuminated him and the opaque mist from which not quite solid hands grasped after him. An ever-present wind blew leaving a roaring sound echoing through the air. Sensations mixed in a freaky dance of color, sound, and light.
Then through the mess and mad mixture of colors and textures she came. Her image was the only clear thing in the depths of his hauntingly insane dream that was not distorted. Step by step she drew nearer through the fog, her face visible as if she actually held the mist at bay. She smiled as she drew nearer her arms spreading in invitation.
The hug was warm and comforting, the arms of his mother snaked round him in a way that said he was safe, he would never be hurt again. Her sweet scent was as it always had been, her perfume subtle. Her fur was pale cream and her short cut nails were all colored differently as was her style, made the image more than a dream.
The broken form closed its eyes and settled into the loving embrace. All the damage done by the shadow shapes and hands melting away. Soon he was whole and pulled back from the hug.
Her scent had changed and the sweet smell of decay made him gag. He looked up at the one responsible for his comfort, a ragged moan was torn from his throat. Her staring eyes were blank and the flesh around her face was shriveled and hanging from the bone underneath.
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The image ripped him from sleep and into a bed with sheets soaked with sweat. Tears fell silently down his cheeks. Flashes of the dream branded into his mind.
The image itself was nothing new to him. In fact he had come up with it. After four years in the grave the skin would be nearly gone and almost all of the hair would have been gone too. But those eyes... Green and sometimes blue they would be crossed and dried like grapes left too long in the sun. But even under the rotting dried disgusting decay that is the essence of death she had been there. Behind those eyes.
Arion saw a beautiful otter standing beside the small pond during one amazing summer in Massachusetts. Then over that image he saw what he imagined to be left of his mother. He rolled to the side of his bed and grabbed the trashcan he left there for this exact purpose and let loose.
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He slowly removed his nightclothes before the mirror in the bathroom. His skin under his fur was pale and waxy. He looked so ephemeral even to himself that he feared a sudden wind. His fright and grief were slowly changing as the dream melted away as was normal. He dropped his underwear and turned to the marble walled shower. The glass door closed behind him with very little sound as usual and the cold of the floor made his skin prickle into goose bumps as he turned on the hot water.
The sweat that made him feel so very dirty was the first thing to be gone in the first spray of water. Arion grabbed his body wash that smelled a little like leaves and went about washing himself but somehow he still felt, dirty. No matter how hard he scrubbed he felt the same and eventually when his arms got tired he lay in the shower and let the streams of water pelt him from above.
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James rolled over in his bed and sighed as he heard the shower. He turned to the clock beside his bed and groaned. The blue display read 3:27am. The sounds from the bathroom down the hall changed after a while and when the clock read 4:07am James could hear the strangled sobs of his son.
Third time this month... Sometimes I just wish he'd fucking grow up. Cassie was my_wife_ I was the one who fell in love with her. She wanted to marry me_! This is just, pathetic!_ He realized how his thoughts sounded and with a shudder he pulled himself from the mire of anger. with some measure of guilt he climbed out of bed and headed for the kitchen.
James flipped on the lights and found the golden box of cocoa mix in one of the cabinets he didn't look into anymore. The directions on the back made it a simple process. After thirty minutes of trial and error he put the box back in the cabinet and headed to the second floor bathroom with the two mugs clasp in his hands. He knocked and didn't hear a response over the sounds of splashing water. With a little hesitation he turned the handle and pushed the door in.
Steam hit him like rolling waves of mist. Moist air filled his lungs making him feel a little wet inside as well as out as the fog clung cloyingly to his skin. The sweet scent of shampoo and body wash filled the room. "A-Arion?" his voice came out haltingly as he tried to breathe in the hot moist air. "H-hey I brought you some cocoa. Just like mom's." He peered through the fog of hot air and saw a blurred shape behind the glass of the door. Arion lay on the floor of the shower the water falling on him in a spraying shower of heat.
James put the cups on the sink and grabbed a towel from the towel rack. He pulled the door open and turned a little so he'd not see what his son was doing. "Come on Ari, come have some cocoa with me. I made it just like your mom used to." He felt a little dumb using the childhood name but when Arion made no sound or move James turned to him and realized his son was no longer conscious. He stuck his hand into the shower and pulled it back with a hiss as he'd felt the hot water sear his skin red. A little scared now he turned on the cold water so he could reach the hot water knob. The cold water had been off all together.
"Shit. Shit, shit!" James ignored the water and tossed the towel over his son's naked body then picked him up and stumbled to Arion's room. He was very careful not to bang the boy's head on the frame as he gasped for breath holding the prone and slippery wet body as best he could.
When James had his son on the bed he placed a hand on his face and felt his own whiten as it drained of blood. The just slightly out of shape otter turned to the door and hurried to the phone on his desk. He punched in numbers he hoped were right and waited impatiently for the phone to be picked up.
When someone with a groggy voice answered then demanded a reason James started screaming in a high pitched voice while trying to explain what was wrong. John got the gist and hung up. Within fifteen minutes the main door was flung wide and the lion dressed in a bathrobe came into the boy's room.
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John turned around and smiled comfortingly to James. "He's fine. Just passed out, the heat from the shower, you know, and you said he was crying?" James nodded once, a little emotionally numb after the fear. "He just got overheated and... um, fell asleep. He'll be fine James. Trust me." John rose and pulled his friend into a tight hug. "And don't worry about waking me. I'll add a few hundred to my bill to make up for the late night house call." He paused and frowned a little as his attempt at humor fell on deaf ears. "Listen James. He'll be fine it was an accident, you said he has nightmares? Well he probably just wanted to feel warm and what better way to warm your bones than in a shower? Now you just go on to bed and I'll bring you something to drink." The doctor paused as his friend stared at his son with a mixture of emotions flashing across his face.
Defiantly gunna have to drug him. Otherwise he'll be in here all night and probably scare the boy when he wakes up. John grabbed his friend by the shoulders and steered him to the bed room. "I'll make sure Destiny knows everything is alright when I get home. So now, just rest." He smiled pushing James into the master bedroom and onto the bed. He'll definitely benefit from some sleep. Probably still working through Cassie and now this.
"Don't worry, I'll stick around for a bit." He put on his best brotherly smile and left to find something to drug so James would sleep through the night.
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Arion woke up all at once his body feeling oddly sore all over. Wonder if this is how a half cooked crab feels, he sighed remembered the shower, then nothing until now. Someone was too near to him, sitting on his bed.
His auntDestiny sat beside him with a warm smile on her naturally pink lips. Her sea-green eyes watched him with barely concealed concern and her brown-red hair hung down her skull slicked back in a way that made her seem more business-like than had her sister had been.
"Morning," She smiled warmly at Arion. "John told me what happened. He made sure I wouldn't disturb your sleep, he's such a worrier." She leaned in a little searching his face. "But I don't mind." Her smile warmed her normally brusque manner till she was beautiful.
"S-" Arion paused to clear his throat then took a sip from the cup beside his bed. "So where's Uncle John anyway?" His eyes fell on her almost too large breasts and he thought idly of too large hills on the horizon, with a shudder he looked away.
"Oh he's at work." Her smile grew a little mocking. "But you, mister, are to stay in bed for a while. He said you need some rest, and maybe an energy drink to return some of the minerals you sweated out. I brought some over, they're in the fridge down stairs." Destiny looked him over fully and her smile became a little sad. "You look so much like your mom." Her hand brushed at his black and purple dyed hair.
Arion bore this and nodded trying to inspire confidence in his aunt, though inside he felt a little harried and desperate. "Umm, Aunt Destiny... I need to put some clothes on..." He looked down at his towel and sheet covered body and didn't need to pretend to blush under his fur.
With a moments apology Destiny rose and went to the door then paused to return to Arion's side and lean down to kiss him on the brow. "I love you so much," he responded with a fake smile and a loose embrace he dropped as soon as he thought he could.
As Destiny left his room Arion rose and dressed as quickly as he could. It was only eleven by his clock if he hurried he would make his favorite class at one. He dressed as quietly as he could, trying to hide his grunts and sighs as his clothes settled on his still tender skin. He remembered his bag was beside the garage door and nearly left it behind.
With a too casual air he left his room carrying his shoes and socks hiding them behind his back as he descended the rear stairs. In the kitchen he stopped at the fridge and listened for anyone nearby. Destiny's voice drifted down the open stair that led to the second floor. With a slight nod for his luck he grabbed a sports drink from the fridge and took up his bag nearly running from the house. His heart was pounding as he took his first step toward the safety of the tree line out back.
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The room was still a little mobile, spinning a little with each movement of his head. James watched Cassie move through the door and he smiled at her. Her normally long hair pulled into a bun.
Then his perceptions shifted and Destiny stood before him. "Hello Destiny, John at work...?" The clock read 11:03am. James turned his head to check it again and felt his head roll more than his neck would physically allow.
"Yeah he mentioned something about a late night drink and I thought I should come make sure he didn't put you into a coma." Her voice was light and a little more loud than it should have been for the room but James ignored it as he stared a little too long at his sister-in-law.
"So that's why I feel made of fluff and headaches." He mimed a fainting damsel and Destiny laughed. "Tell him thanks when you see him will you? I was a little upset last night." He looked at the hands fiddling with the sheet on his lap. "Sorry Destiny, I still see her when I look at you... W-would you mind...?" James felt horrible asking it but Destiny seemed to understand his request.
"Sure James, I just wanted to make sure you were both alright. I'll leave now... You know... He's still going through it too... maybe you should try and deal with it together?" Destiny turned to the door and paused lines creasing the corner of her eye. "He probably dreamt of her last night. And he'll never get past it alone..." With that she left him alone to his semi intoxicated imaginings.
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The door loomed for a moment but he took a breath and pulled it back giving him a clear way into the class. Each step was a major ordeal as he forced himself to continue into his dreaded and loved history class. The other students were mostly ready to start the class. Some eager to begin and some not caring enough to even look up as the teacher entered the room.
He was... perfection. Mr. Tanner was thirty five and not married. He wore clothes just barely what someone might call appropriate. No ties, or slacks if he could get away with it. He wore what any adult might if he had a very casual meeting. He wore blue jeans and a green polo shirt un-tucked for today. His dark brown fur was the exact shade of wet tree bark and he even used a woodsy scent as a body spray or cologne. His deep hazel eyes seemed to change form brown to green with every different angle of his head. He was well muscled but not grossly so. A chocolate lab to inspire dreams.
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As the class ended Arion snapped out of his daze and felt his heart nearly stop as Mr. Tanner called his name. "Arion, would you mind staying after class for a moment?" His smile seemed so very genuine and inviting.
"Y-yes sir," Arion's voice was low and he felt a shiver running up his spine as he smiled shyly at his teacher. Though Mr. Tanner had already turned to erase some of the notes from the board.
When everyone else was gone Mr. Tanner closed the door and sighed quietly. "Right," Mr. Tanner rubbed his closed eyes for a moment before he turned and moved a little closer to Arion. " I had a question..." He stroked a hand over his chin and smiled at Arion.
Arion froze and noticed Mr. Tanner leaning in a little as if he had a secret to share. The boy could feel his blood pumping in an odd way, making his whole body too hot. He felt as if a river ran in each vein, torrents of rushing liquid. He hoped no one could hear it but the rush of blood should have been audible to anyone within a two block radius.
"So your parents are into English Literature? I always wished I had the guts to go into that instead of this. I mean the story of Arion was uniquely funny, to me anyway. I always had a thing for that story and then you came to my class, I've been wondering if you know what a great story it is."
Arion froze again this time in horror. His favorite teacher the man who he wanted to be around more than anyone else in the school had just broken a hidden and impossible dream he'd had. "Yes, sure I know about it. Mom read it to me when I was a kid, but... I have class I should go now, okay?" He tossed his bag onto his back and tripped a few times as he ran for the nearest exit. On the verge he turned and saw the puzzled face of his teacher.
Arion didn't pause in the hall. Instead of heading to the very real Algebra class he ran to the restroom and entered the last stall. The room stank of cleaner and urine and the once blue walls had been scrubbed so many times the paint needed a new coat in several places. But the stalls had locks and with a shaking hand he bolted the door and pulled his legs up to his chest.
Not like I should have expected him to feel anything, but all those stories about teachers. I just wish I had an escape. I'm so tired, my life is shit, and no one cares enough to see how much I need something, anything to help me change who I am. No one sees, my mom would have though. A fresh image of a rotting corpse entered his mind and slowly tears welled in his eyes. Why is it me who's so alone? Why me? What the hell did I do to deserve to be, his mind failed to mentally voice what he felt, to be me. He closed his eyes and let the sound of his own crying lull him to sleep.
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The door slammed shut and Arion jerked awake letting one of his legs fall from the rim of the elongated oval toilet with a crack. He stood, wiping dry tear tracks and the residue of sleep from his eyes. Arion left the stall and the bathroom at a run his bag barely swinging onto his back before he cleared the door. The ferret who had entered stared at him as if he'd gone crazy.
Arion's high-topped purple Chuck's pounded into the tiled floor as he ran through the nearly empty halls. At each crossing the echoing sounds of his steps returned to him. Through the windows to his left he saw the buses pulling out of the school lot. Huge aluminum cans packed to bursting with dunces and dicks, he tore his eyes away from the buses and back into the hauntingly empty corridors.
The stairs to the first floor were just around the corner and at the foot of them would be the door to the outside. Just as he reached them a head appeared around the bend on the landing below connecting the first to the second set of stairs. Derek grinned at him and gave a slight wave.
"Hey there, fag boy!" Derek nearly flew up the remaining stairs. His strong legs hopped them two at a time. "I got suspended for you snitching on me. And you know, I was only playing then. Now that I have a few days off I might need some company. So you and me are going to go have a nice long chat." Derek tossed an empty sack he'd been carrying into a corner and pulled Arion into a half hug with Derek crushing the smaller boy to his side.
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The trees of the small wood were more tightly packed than anywhere else in town. Arion often came to escape school when he could take no more of the disgusting atmosphere of desperation and sadness. The wooden trunks shot from the ground and into the sky as Arion was dragged under the sun filtering boughs. Spots of light danced on them both as the wind made the trees sway.
Arion was close to collapse now. His heart was pounding in his chest and for some reason he was a little aroused. An memory popped into his mind.
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His mother sat on the bed wearing a pair of jeans and a loose fitting tee shirt. The room was Arion's from childhood still decorated in the bright painted sky scene with a few rain clouds still off in the distance.
She turned to him and smiled her white teeth seeming to glimmer next to the baby blue on the walls. "Ari, I love you so much. But, you need to promise me something okay? Don't be gay, okay? I want grandchildren, I want you to be happy." She let her smile relax. "I have seen how those gays are treated. I don't want that for you." With a warm smile she pulled her son into her lap and tossed the dress he'd been draped in onto the floor.
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Derek didn't feel too pissed anymore. He had figured out a long time ago he picked on Arion because he wanted what the other boy had. Arion may have been hated but he was also known to be a fag.
"I have been wanting to talk to you for a long time Arion. I mean... talk to you alone." Derek tried to ignore the pleasure he got from hugging the small otter closer to him. "I've been wondering if you could see in me what everyone else sees in you?" He turned his head to the side and waited for a response. When none came he continued, "I mean... I... I like guys too." His voice trembled as he finally admitted aloud what he had hidden for years.
Arion seemed to have frozen against his side. The little guy was so stiff Derek had to poke him in the arm to get his attention back. "I'm not really too mad for being suspended. I mean it was the red head who told on me right? You wouldn't do that, right?" He looked hopefully at the boy beside him.
Arion had lowered his head and the hood hid his face in a shroud of shadow. "I-I'm not gay."
Derek stopped for a second. The rumors and stuff couldn't have all_been wrong._ His mind settled on that thought and decided to go with what he knew. "Well I know you have a major crush on the history teacher. Well everyone but the teacher does." Derek said a little awkwardly then paused to remember his too short time in that class. "Yeah he's something," Derek looked into the smaller furs hood. "But anyway, I like you more." He pushed Arion against a tree, though not roughly. "And I know how much you must want this too," A large hand slid across Arion's stomach and pulled back the band of his jeans.
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Arion could feel his mind starting to freeze. One side of his being wished for what Derek offered and more, while the other side grew wild with the need to not be what he was. In most fights the wild usually wins.
A thrust knee left the big husky on his knees gasping and moaning in pain as Arion ran away from the situation. Derek's hands were clasped to his crotch. Arion felt a lot of guilt for kneeing him, but not for the act; more for not having let Derek do what he, Arion, had wanted.
The leaves under his shoes crackled and added their music to his blind escape. By now tears were running down his face. This is wrong_; this is not how things should be! I shouldn't_ like_a guy and I shouldn't even_ think_of letting... no_ this_is not right. Something about_ me_is not right._ The trees he couldn't see stayed in his path and he fell often. His clothes were ripped and stained with dirt and decomposing leaves. Blood ran from his nose and a large cut in his scalp made red drops fall into his eye. Like tears of blood.
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James smiled softly as he wrote a sentence he found unbelievably witty. The current book he was working on was a simple one about a marooned sailor alone in the wilderness of what would later be Canada. The anchor to the work was a relationship with what he called the spirit of life which in reality was little more than what the man perceived to be a 'god'.
The icon blinked on and off as he read it again. "The maiden of life enclosed the man in leaves; the very forest crying colored tears as he lay beneath the branches." The image of a man resting on the cold earth breathing his last breath while the wind knocked the leaves from trees colored for fall to blanket him, made James laugh so hard he teared up.
If he were some dopy sci-fi writer he might add a little bit there to inspire belief in the afterlife. But as he didn't believe in that kind of thing his character died alone covered in dirt and leaves. James smiled one last time and highlighted the last fifteen pages of the story then hit delete. No publisher would allow such a depressing and real ending.
No one is interested in real. Insanity needs a reason in people's minds and living in a forest 'alone' would be a useless story without some_kind of force for good, some reason for the insanity._ He sighed heavily and turned back to the story to finally introduce the living spirit of the forest if only in the subtle turnings of leaf and wind.
???
Derek stood when he could bare the pain of it and followed the smaller shorter legged fur. He dodged as well as he could around the many trunks of the trees working his way through the wood while trying to avoid the trees he would surely have tripped over. After some time he came to the edge of the wood and peered down into the drop off below. Trees had sprouted about ten feet from the base of the rocky wall and continued until all he could see was a hazy green line on the horizon.
On the ground below, just at the edge of the trees something out of place caught his eye. The splotch of black on the grey-tan stone below made his knees give out below him. He moaned deep in his throat and stared at the mass of black and bright spreading red below him.
???
James sighed as the phone near his laptop rang for the twelfth time. His hand darted to the phone and he took a deep breath prepared to give a long and painful lecture to the person on the other end call. After the first few seconds he held his breath and then his body went limp. Sudden tears filled his eyes as the blood drained from his face.
Within minutes of the call he was speeding down the road toward the cliff face. When he arrived the army of rescue personnel mobbed his car and nearly carried him to the ladder that connected the base of the cliff with the top where everyone had gathered. There were a mass of men below too and with a sudden sinking feeling James found himself next to the broken and bleeding body of his son.
A voice spoke to him but he heard nothing. His eyes fell on the slowly dying boy before him and he went to him. The blood had spread a bit and he settled into it letting the liquid seep into the fibers of his jeans.
The I.V. in Arion's arm was dripping something clear into him as James leaned in to stroke his son's cheek. "I'm sorry," the weak voice was wavering and a red froth fell from the edge of his mouth as he moaned a bit to expel enough air to speak. His mouth opened again but nothing came out this time.
James sat in stunned silence. His insides churned with fear and slowly it was building. With shaking fingers he tenderly wrapped his hand around his son's. "Don't leave me... please." he stared down into his sons eyes ignoring the trail of dried blood that looked like nearly black tears running from his son's eye. "I can't do this alone!"
Arion smiled enough to be noticed and with a last rattling breath, was still.