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Rekindling

Part 2

Al Song

Coalston Park was on a small hill with a small jungle gym coated in fading red paint along with little barbecue pits scattered around and a peachy yellow gazebo. We silently watched the sky burn beautifully as the atmosphere chilled. The near chaotic firmament calmed my nerves and inspired my mind as fire and water collided. The tempo of the drips against the glass and metal around us quickly ramped up. Like a gentle candle, the sun was soon snuffed out by the wind and rainclouds.

I began shivering and rubbing my arms as I tried to curl my large tail around myself.

Ford turned on the ignition and twisted the dial on the heater.

"Let's not waste gas and make our carbon pawprints bigger. I can handle the cold."

He then reached behind the seats and gave me one of his flannel jackets as he said, "You've always looked good in blazers, but I think this'll keep you warmer."

My chest felt warm at his kind words. I removed the tweed and tossed my collared shirt aside. I then slipped into the jacket while holding myself. It smelled like Ford's natural scent mixed with the woodsy cinnamon deodorant he loved.

The hulking, yet gentle rat moved his pink tail against mine, and I scooted closer to him while looking up at his kind eyes.

"I've wanted to tell you something for a while too," I said and felt my whiskers perking up.

"What's up?" he asked looking at me.

"In high school, I, well... I sort of... had a crush on you," I said as I stuttered a bit.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked and gave me a smirk.

"You said you were straight, and when I told a straight guy in middle school that I liked him he beat me up..."

"Why didn't you tell me that?" his grin faltered.

"I didn't want you to worry about me." I leaned against him.

"Charlie..." He put his muscled arm around me. "I'm fat, I have no skills, and I've got a mediocre high school education. You definitely can do so much better than this." He motioned to himself with his free paw.

"But you were always my knight in shining flannel." I placed my palm on his belly as I scooted closer to him.

"I'm no knight." He placed his large pink paw atop mine and grasped it gently.

"To me, you definitely were. You protected me and made me feel safe." I nestled my head against him as he rubbed my fingers with his thumb.

"I got so mad every time I heard you got bullied and wasn't there to help," he huffed while placing his head gently atop mine.

"I told you that you shouldn't blame yourself. You can't control what others do, and it's not like you can always be around to defend me."

"It still wasn't an easy pill for me to swallow."

"But I made it through with your help, and I can't thank you enough." I nuzzled his chest gently.

"Well, you're welcome." He gave me a small squeeze back.

"Thanks for keeping me warm, too."

"I should say the same thing to you," he said and lifted my chin as he pressed his muzzle against mine. Our whiskers brushed as his paws rubbed my back. He chuckled as I placed mine on the sides of his belly.

As our tongues gently caressed as warmth spread from my core to the rest of my body. I kissed him harder as my thoughts were clouded with the steam and smoke from the fires within my mind. We let instinct take the lead as I entered his hot muzzle.

It felt like we'd been kissing for only a few minutes, but the red scores in the darkness of the dashboard revealed that our make out session had lasted almost thirty minutes.

"Thanks for my first kiss," he said and rubbed the back of my head.

"You're welcome. I never thought I'd be able to do that with you." I gave him a quick peck and returned my head to his chest while he squeezed me.

"I wanted to tell you so badly after graduation, but we would've only had two and half months before you left for Seattle." He frowned a bit. "It felt like it was already too late."

"Why now, then? I mean, I'm only here for two weeks." I felt the burning sands of time were slipping through my webbed fingers. Each second was spilling through too quickly.

"I wanted to ask you something..." He stared at the foggy windshield.

"What's up?"

"Is it really alright if I go live with you in Seattle?" He didn't look at me.

"Of course!" I tried to move to his gaze. "It'll be a pretty big change... I mean, it took some adjusting."

"I'm up for that. I just..." he sighed. "I desperately want to be in another part of the world... even if it's just a few hours away."

"Are you sure? What if what we have doesn't work out? You don't have a job lined up there, and what are you going to do about your current one?"

"I mean, I can put my two weeks in, and my mom knows bakers in Seattle. Plus, there's gotta be some store that needs a warm body, and I really do want to go to college even if it's community college."

"But what about us?" I asked.

"I know our friendship is more important than, well, whatever this is, but..." He then sighed again. "I could always ask to come back here if things don't work out."

"Alright, and I can help you figure out logistics."

"Thanks," he said and hugged me tightly.

"You helped me survive grade school, so I'll help you navigate life in Seattle."

Our muzzles reunited tenderly as the sounds of the rain softened. I unbuttoned his shirt and trailed kisses down this chest and stomach. The windows further fogged as the temperature rose. While the weather and atmospheric pressure lightened up around us, we drove back to his house, and I texted my parents to let them know that I would be staying over with Ford.

Inside the handsome rat's room, we popped an 'Abyphho' CD into his old stereo. _Feuerwehr_started playing as the smooth warm bassline rang from the speakers followed by a few hot licks of the lead guitar, a call and response system began between the two lines as their playful game of tag led into the sonorous vocals. The two of us swayed as we kissed in the softly lit bedroom. Despite the years that had passed his furniture and posters were all the same. The only difference was the record player and the collection of vinyl in the corner.

I remembered Abyphho performing at Huo Hall last fall, they said they might be back for Brolly Music Festival this year. I just imagined Ford's warm belly on back as we swayed and sang along with the indie rock band in Seattle Center.

We sat on the bed as we held one another and made out. Soon I felt a sense of warmth I hadn't felt in so long, and my wonderful rat told me it was a new experience for him. After our dances I was wrapped in a fuzzy, red and black blanket with a houndstooth patterned. Ford's warm body spooned me as our fur interlocked. Maybe we weren't at a concert, but having his soft belly against my back like this made me happier than I had been in such a long time.

#

I woke up with his big paw rubbing my stomach and a kiss behind my left ear. We _danced_again that morning, and afterwards he looked outside and suddenly went pale.

"What's up?" I asked still in a warm haze.

"My mom's van is outside. I thought she was going to be in Spokane all weekend."

"She's pretty calm and reasonable. I don't think she cares about me being here."

"It's almost nine, maybe I can convince her that you stopped by earlier or something," he said scratching his chin.

I sat up in the bed and said, "I'm gonna be wearing my stride of pride clothes, unless I can borrow your things, but then again she'll probably notice that they're yours."

"Ugh, I don't know what to do." He sat on the edge of his mattress with hie head in his paws.

"Well... we could tell her I just stayed over as a friend, but I only live a few minutes away, so maybe we can... just be honest?" I suggested.

"I don't want to tell her that I'm..." He paused and stared at the ground.

"That you're gay?" I sat next to him and rubbed his broad back. "Look, I know that forcing people or urging them to come out isn't something any _should_do, but I don't think this is too bad of an idea. I mean she knows I'm gay, and she's always been really nice to me."

"I know, but it's still... scary?" He then sighed again. "That makes me sound like a scared, little cub."

"Your feelings are valid."

"Why does this have to be so nerve-wracking?"

"Well, it is scary," I said gently. "I still remember how hard it was to tell you, and it was tougher to tell my parents, who almost disowned me... but eventually they came around."

"Alright, maybe we should try becoming a little more presentable first."

"Sounds good," I said as we got up.

"I've got some things for you." He gave me a t-shirt with a videogame torch on it, a red madras shirt, a pair of jeans, and a towel.

"Do you have any underwear?"

"I, uh, don't own any..." He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled.

"Ah, that's why back in the truck it was so easy to-"

"Yeah, yeah," he interrupted and rubbed the back of his neck. "I've got some swim trunks, from the times when I'd visit your place."

"Sure, I'll take a pair of those."

I showered and then waited in Ford's room for him to get cleaned up. We then walked down the stairs to see Ford's mom and a Siberian tiger at the breakfast table.

"Hey, mom," he said quietly. "Hey, Franchesko."

"Morning, Ford. I made some pancakes!" his mom announced.

"Good morning, Mrs. Dufeu, Mr. Pozharsky," I said trying to sound as gleeful and natural as possible.

"Charlie, it's good to see you again," she said as she stood up and proceeded to squeeze me tightly, and I returned it the best I could with my torso being crushed. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

"I brought some fancy maple syrup online from Toronto. Unfortunately, it's not as good as I remembered it as a cub," the skinny tiger said as he slathered the shimmering sweetness all over the warm, golden-brown cakes. "I think they changed the recipe."

"I wonder if I should still add it to the new cupcakes, hon," she said quickly then turned her attention back to us. "Sit down, sit down. Have some breakfast with us."

"Sure thing!" I didn't exactly 'take a seat.' Instead, she pulled out a chair and pushed me onto it.

"I've got more in the oven keeping them warm. You can have as many as you'd like," she said as the taller rat sat down next to me.

"This looks amazing, Mrs. Dufeu!" I smiled at her. "They smell incredible too. Would you please pass the syrup, Mr. Pozharsky?" The svelte, older tiger smiled hand slid it over. "Sometimes we still love things, even if they've changed a little or if there's something new to them, right?"

I took a bite and my nerves and consciousness immediately dissolved as my palate was inundated by a dazzling array of citrus fruits, which sliced through the sweet notes of the saccharine syrup and the buttery goodness of the fluffy, yet crispy cakes.

"Charlie, are you alright? Do you like it?" Ford's mom asked.

"I don't know all the things you added to this, but this recipe is even better than before!" I gleamed up at her.

"Alright. Thanks, Charlie," he said with a sigh. "Mom, uh, I think I need to tell you something."

"What is it dear?"

"I... I, uh," he stuttered, and I reached my paw out to hold his under the table to ease his nerves. He then took a breath and his warm paw lifted mine up to the table. "I'm dating Charlie."

"Oh, well, I'm happy for you, sugar," his mom said almost like a brassy waitress would.

"I thought you guys were dating in high school," Mr. Pozharsky said.

"We weren't," I said quickly and then caught myself, "but we are now." I then smiled at Ford.

"Are you trying to tell us that you're gay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he as his leg shook under the table and his pink tail whipped side to side.

"It's alright," she said. "I saw the magazines in your room, and you're not always discreet about what you have on your laptop or phone screens."

"You looked through my laptop?" he stared up at her.

"No, there've been a few times you just left it in the living room... and the screen showed me quite an eyeful. You also left those magazines on your bed with the door open," she said smiling the whole time with bright golden eyes.

"Why didn't you say something?" he asked.

"We wanted you to tell us when you were ready."

"It's why I never pressured you to find someone, since it seemed like you were going through a lot."

"I have something else I want to tell you..." he said.

"My ears are open," she responded.

"I want to move to Seattle and live with Charlie."

"Oh, hon... that's..." she froze and the tiger stopped eating.

"That's a good thing," Mr. Pozharsky said and tried to give his wife a reassuring look.

"It'll just be temporary... I think," Ford said.

"I knew this day would happen eventually," she sighed.

"He can visit now and then," I interjected. "He won't be like me... where I disappeared for a long time."

"I want to go to community college," the tall rat said, "and I want to know what it's like to live in a city with my best friend."

"This is a lot at once, hon," his mom replied. "I mean, I'm happy for you, but this it's not always an easy thing to do."

"I'll make sure he's okay, Mrs. Dufeu," I said to her.

"He's a smart boy," her husband said. "Have some faith in him."

"It's not that I don't believe in you, but I'm going to miss you so much."

"Mom, I'm going to miss you, too, but I've been here too long. I don't want to be born here, live here, and die here," he said as his leg shook more. "There's so much of this world that I want to see still."

"He's only about two hours away and you travel to Seattle sometimes, Mrs. Dufeu," I quickly pointed out.

"That's true." She sighed again. "It's still hard to take this news, but I do want you to be happy, and to learn."

"Thank you, mom."

"What are you waiting for? Dig in!" she said and the four of us resumed consuming the hotcakes.

#

Later that day I sat there listening to Lao pop songs as I tried to write each consonant and vowel over and over again in the Lao abugida. I found some online resources and my parents got me a beginner's book that they had in one of the closets. I had taken French in high school, which my parents felt mixed about, since it was the language of their colonizers that they were forced to learn as cubs, but they both knew education was a privilege. I took German as an elective whenever I had some free space in my schedule, since UPNw had business German courses.

I was making flashcards of the different consonants and vowels when I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in," I said. "I mean, khaoma. That's probably wrong isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're saying," the deep voice said behind the door. It was Ford, so I got up to turn the knob.

"Where've you been all day?"

"I've just been studying," I said.

"For what?" he asked cocking his head.

"Nothing, I'm just learning how to read and write in Lao, because I'm a failure to my heritage, and I put useless classes before important things like my own history," I said quickly and tried to give a reassuring smile.

"Oh, alright... are you okay, Charlie?"

"I didn't realize how hard it would be to learn a whole new system of writing," I groaned. "I can't learn how to write words before I learn this, and I can't write sentences before I can write words."

"Wait, so you've been doing this instead of hanging out with your parents or me?"

"But this is important," I said and then immediately covered my muzzle and felt guilt spread throughout my body.

"I think you're doing it again," he said while grimacing.

"Doing what?"

"Well, in high school you usually spent so many weekends on homework and studying. You did so many extracurriculars, and when you had time to hang out you said it felt like you were wasting it, since you weren't doing something productive," he said as gently as possible.

"I..." The anxiety spread through me and shut me up.

"You've only got two weeks here," he said. "Isn't it a better idea if you talk to your parents and have them help you study? I mean that way you can spend time with them as you talk with them and learn new words."

"I guess," I relented.

"When I saw you, I was so happy and all those feeling of missing you reignited in me, so I know your parents are probably feeling something similar. I spent most of the day with my mom before work got in the way, since we'll be gone soon."

"They're probably just watching TV down there, aren't they?" I asked.

He nodded a bit and said, "When I wanted to hang out with you, I would just help you study, and you've already helped me so much in the past two days... so you want my help with this?"

"You're right," I sighed. "This spring break would be a waste if I just kept myself locked up in my room."

I brought my materials to the living room and they were lounging and watching another Thai comedy full of nineties sound effects.

"Mom, dad, uh, can I get some help with Lao?"

"Of course," my mom said and swam over to the edge of the living room pool. "What are you having trouble with?"

"Just memorizing things," I replied.

"This might help too," my dad said as he popped a DVD in and selected a karaoke song with a dhole in a button-up shirt and bow-tie singing about learning the Lao language and abugida.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" my mom asked Ford.

Ford shrugged it off and said, "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Vongphachanh. I'd love to stay over for dinner."

"I can't believe I was gonna stay in my room all night," I said annoyed at myself.

"Well, I've got some swim trunks in my truck," Ford said, and I smiled up at him.

After he got changed, he was still trying to cover up his chest and stomach with his arms, but everyone treated him the same as my parents paused the DVD during a chart and pointed out the different consonants and vowels. Ford was struggling a bit, since he had never learned a tonal language before, but he was able to get an approximation of the sounds.

Later we prepared dinner together as I learned how to make Laotian 'bread,' which was mostly rice held together by eggs and a few other ingredients. I wanted it spicy so my parents taught me how to make a sauce for it too. They instructed Ford on how to say basic things like introducing oneself, and they told him how the first-person singular can sound like a certain part of male anatomy if you say it incorrectly.

The next couple days were spent mostly with Ford while my parents were at work, since he quit his job. We also spent time with his mom. I'd learn more about Lao holidays and festivals with them. Lao New Year aka Pi Mai was celebrated by folks blessing and cleansing each other by soaking one another with water in the streets. When the following Saturday morning rolled around, I had a rude awakening as my dad and Ford threw me into the living room pool in my t-shirt and briefs. My mom brought the garden hose into the house sprayed me with cold water when I resurfaced. I then splashed everyone else with a vindictive smile. For a remake of the fireboat festival my parents and I put little battery-powered candles on paper boats, turned off the lights and let them sail around the hallway and living room pool. Slowly I was learning and my language skills were improving.

#

On the last Saturday of my break, I sat in front of the fire pit of Ford's backyard as the sun was setting. My parents were talking to Mrs. Dufeu and Mr. Pozharsky as they were plating food at a few tables next to the fence. A few of my cousins were there along with Ford's neighbors and a few folks from high school we knew.

"Charlie!" I heard a high-pitched squeal from behind me and I turned to see a squirrel in a denim jacket and sweatpants waving at me as she sauntered towards me. I remembered her as being the tough goth girl in my AP Western Literature class, and this was a huge departure from her previous looks. Her outfit wasn't the only thing that was different.

"Claire! Is that you?" I asked as I stood and hugged her.

"It's us now," she said pointing at her stomach. "I'm seven months in!"

"Congratulations," I said and hugged her again. She was always nice to me in high school, but she was never this bubbly. She loved wearing everything black and distressed, just like her coffee and mood, respectively. I knew she wasn't actually distressed. Broody was just her baseline. She was one of the few people I could actually discuss Foucault and Bukowski with, and I was one of the few who knew her tragic and dangerous secret... she actually enjoyed top forty music.

"I know what you're going to ask," she said.

"Well, should I ask it then?"

"Richard is the father," she said with a huge grin.

"What?" I just stared at her. "The football player?"

"Yeah, well, we're both students at Cascade University, and we're both in the nursing program."

"I never expected him to become a nurse," I said.

"I know, but he said he did sports medicine throughout high school and really got into it, and it turns out that opposites can attract."

"When did you guys go first go out?" I asked.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. It just happened slowly over time," she said and took a second to think. "I mean we recognized each other in a sea of strangers and then we kept hanging out. We dated other people at first, and then we realized the two of us could work out together."

"I hope this isn't like mean or hurtful to say, but you seem a lot happier now."

"It's alright. It's true," she shrugged. "I never thought I would be pregnant in my twenties let alone college. I'm living with him and his family, since they're closer to Cas U. I was totally against marriage, but now I'm engaged."

"Well, again congratulations!"

"Hey, Charlie," a deeper voice said walking into the light of the fire.

"Hey, Richard," I said to the other squirrel, who was in a black pair of jeans and a red button up with a spiked collar. The lip ring was new too. "How are you?"

"Doing fine," he said in a chill manner. "It's been a while."

I caught up with both of them, and they kept joking with one another using medical terminology which went over my ears. Soon they got up and went to grab some food.

"You doing alright?" Ford handed me a crème brulee in a small ramekin and a spoon.

I took the dessert and wondered what he was talking about, then I realized I was frowning a bit... "Yeah, it's just that it's close to the end of spring break already."

He put some more wood into the fire pit which flared a tiny bit as the embers flew higher. The handsome rat then sat down on the stump next to mine and said, "Well, greeting cards always say that all endings are also a new beginning, and I'm definitely excited to start a journey and to see what it's like living in a major city for once in my life."

"I'm gonna miss my parents and yours as well."

"I'll miss them too, but I'm not sure if I'm going to miss this place."

"I wanted to get out of this small town so badly, but now I just want to be right here forever," I said staring at the flames in front of me holding tightly onto the plate that cradled my dessert. "I sound so basic right now. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize."

"I probably shouldn't try contradicting your feelings either."

"Char, it's all good," he said and scooped a bit of the dessert that I hadn't touched. He then fed me the dollop of sweetness. Shards of sugar and smooth cream mixed in a diametrically satisfying dessert as the spoonful coated my palate.

"Thanks for making this vacation back home better than even going across the world."

"It's hard to believe that this place could top an international locale, but I feel like I should be thanking you for everything," he said.

I helped him get set up for spring quarter at Downtown Seattle Community College, we sent out a couple job applications near the apartment, and I called the landlords make sure it was okay for Ford to be a tenant.

"Who ever thought those two would get together?" I motioned my nose to the two squirrels smashing cake into each other's muzzles.

"I never would've guessed, but I didn't think we'd be sitting here feeding dessert to each other either."

I put my paws out near the ascending flames and shivered a bit as I looked at the embers flying up at the moon surrounded by the fiery sunset.

"Don't worry, Char," my handsome rat said as he put a massive arm around me. "It's spring. The days'll get warmer soon." He gave me a big kiss and I melted into it.

"You owe me an apology for being cheesy," I said and smiled at him.

"Oh, is that because I'm a rat? I'm otter-ly unamused by your words," he said with a grin.

"Oh you!"

He then started to tickle me off of my stump and onto the ground. Ford then kissed me deeply. His muzzle warmed me more than the crackling fire beside us ever could.