Changes - Part 2.6
Changes
Part 2.6
by Dego
Author's Note: This is a series about a fox. Please begin with this section and worry about earlier or later sections in the future. You should be able to pick up the story from right here, as the characters are very relatable. If you want to read more, just follow the links or search Part 1 from my profile. I welcome your view.
The story is split into 10 sections and numbered 2.0, 2.1, 2.2... and so on. Generally, I will post a new section every other day. Please enjoy.
*****
"Why does that bother you so much?" Jack asked, when Charlie had finally finished his episode.
The fox sniffled and adjusted himself to be sitting next to Jack, with both his paws in his lap and Jack's arm around his neck. "It's... Well it's just a big change for me. Like when I was growing up I never expected to be gay."
Jack frowned.
"It's not like it's a bad thing! Not at all. It's just... something I need some time to adjust to." Charlie said.
"What's to adjust to? If you're gay, you're gay."
"Yeah but you've had years to think about it. This is a brand new thing for me. Imagine being in my shoes."
"It's really not that big of a deal. You need to calm down." Jack used his free paw to wipe the tears from Charlie's face as he smiled weakly, then he passed his paw onto the fox's cheek to gently turn his head towards him. Jack started the kiss by turning his head, and Charlie opened his maw to let him in. He felt the tongues touch, but this time he just didn't feel anything. He kept waiting for it to happen, for that sense he had the first time of drowning in a flood of passionate emotion. But... nothing was happening. He withdrew his tongue and moved back from Jack.
"I don't... feel anything." he said.
"What do you mean?" Jack looked concerned.
"I don't have that same sense of passion." Charlie leaned back, away from Jack.
"It's ok. Just... kiss me." Jack started leaning in again but Charlie stuck out a paw to keep him from moving.
"I don't want to right now. I just want to... do my homework." Charlie abruptly got up, leaving Jack's side. He went over to the desk and took a seat and brought out his notebook containing his homework notes.
"Is that all I'm here for?" Jack asked from the couch. "To watch you do your homework? What about Ethan?"
Charlie stopped dead in his tracks, then slowly closed the cover of the notebook and leaned back in his desk chair. He heard Jack say "I didn't mean to hurt you or anything. If you just want to keep it to business, that's fine." He got up and walked over to the desk, placing his paw on Charlie's shoulder. "But I want you to know that I love you, and I always will." Charlie looked up and saw that Jack was being sincere. "Here, c'mere. Come sit with me." Jack took Charlie's paw and lead him back to the couch, where he went willingly. They sat down together and Jack replaced his arm behind Charlie. "So what do you want to do about Ethan?" he said.
"I really don't... I don't know..."
They sat together in awkward silence; Jack's mind on one thing and Charlie's mind on everything. The akita turned towards Charlie and said "Do you want to try again?"
The fox was silent.
Jack waited for a few moments, then took silence as a yes and leaned in, reengaging the kiss. Charlie let his tongue in and gave an honest effort at trying to lose himself in the emotion; he closed his eyes and wrapped both his paws behind Jack's head, drawing him close. But, again, he simply didn't feel it and eventually disengaged.
Jack interpreted that as a signal. He moved down to Charlie's neck and started stroking the fox's leg with his paw. "Jack, stop." Charlie said.
"I thought this is what you wanted." Jack said between kisses.
"No, it's not." Charlie put his paws on Jack's shoulders and lightly shoved him back.
"C'mon babe..." Jack pulled Charlie's leg closer and intensified the kisses on his neck.
"Stop. Really, cut it out." Jack didn't stop, so Charlie gave him a hard shove backwards.
"What's your problem!? Are we... what are we? Are we dating or not?"
"Yes! Just... right now..."
"Right now what? Right now you're having some kind of crisis?"
"Actually, yes! Yes I am. Please just leave me alone!"
"So what? So you'll deal with Ethan on your own?"
"No! It's not like that!"
"Then what is it?"
"I'm dealing with a lot of shit, Jack! Is it ok if right this very second I don't want to make out with you?"
"Make up your fucking mind!"
"I'm trying! I just... don't know right now!"
"Don't know what?"
"Anything!"
"You know what? Fuck you, Charlie."
Charlie's entire demeanor changed to shock as he stared at Jack's angry eyes.
Finally after a full minute of stunned silence, Jack got up. "Do your fucking homework." he said as grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Charlie just sat in shock as he heard Jack stomp down the stairs and leave through the front door, making quite a ruckus. He stared at the door to his room in disbelief. "What... just happened?" he asked aloud. He slowly turned to look at the floor and replayed the scene in his head; all the angry words, all the emotion, all the hurt. Charlie was too bewildered to cry; he just stared.
After a period of time that Charlie couldn't tell you, he was shocked out of his state by his mom calling from downstairs. "Chrlee wht wvv 'll aaa?" she called. Charlie quickly got up, opened the door to his bedroom, and rushed to the loft where he could view his mother. "What, mom?"
"I said, what was all that?"
"Oh. It was just Jack..."
"Have you been crying?" she asked
Charlie quickly turned away and wiped his face with the back of his paw. "Um, we had a fight." he responded.
"Oh I'm sorry baby. Are you gonna be alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine mom." Charlie rudely left the banister and returned to his room.
He sat down on the couch again, where so many memories had developed. Jack had apparently gotten really pissed at him, but Charlie couldn't quite figure out why. "Just because I wouldn't kiss him he freaked out and left me?" Charlie thought. "Or was I being a jerk...? Why didn't I feel anything?" That last thought expelled everything else from his mind. Why didn't he feel anything? The first night had been magical-so passionate, so loving, so much fun. He was convinced he really did love Jack. What had happened to make that change? Charlie just didn't understand. He stared at his paws, trying to figure things out, until his dad came in the room and interrupted the mental retreat.
"What?" Charlie asked very rudely.
"I thought I'd talk to you. Did Jack hit you?" His dad asked.
"No."
"Then what happened?"
"We had a fight."
"What kind of fight?"
"A yelling fight, dad. What do you want?"
"I'm just here to help..."
"Well I don't want your help."
The foxes stared at each other.
"Well, ok. Bye." Charlie's dad left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
Charlie returned to staring at his paws, but found that he couldn't focus on a single thought any more. Finally it irritated him so he got to his homework to try to clear his head. This and all his slew of other problems would have to wait.
Charlie woke up the next morning not feeling much better than before. He was actually looking forward to waking up next to Jack, to feeling his warm body against Charlie's own. But that didn't happen and his head was still swimming: sexuality? Ethan? Jack? Lucas? Who is Aiden? classes, school, homework... He groaned and forced himself out of bed.
In the bathroom Charlie examined himself in the mirror. There was a very very slight purple mark above his brow, from where Ethan hit him, which thankfully his parents hadn't noticed. The fox brushed his teeth, got dressed, went downstairs and had a quick toast breakfast. His parents were discussing the news over coffee, but Charlie grabbed his toast and quickly left the room. He wanted out of the house-maybe some fresh air would help him to focus on one single thought. Too many things were swimming around in his head for him to make sense of any of it. Charlie grabbed his backpack and left the house while munching his dry toast.
He got to the bus stop and remembered that he'd have to deal with Lucas as soon as he got on. "Crud" was his initial thought, but then "Maybe this is a good thing. Someone to talk to. I'll sit next to him." Charlie brightened a little; just talking it through with someone who might understand his situation could help.
The bus arrived and Charlie got on, finding Lucas in his reliable spot at the window on the fourth row. Charlie smiled a huge smile as he plopped down right next to Lucas. "Geezus, make up your mind!" Lucas demanded.
"Heh, that's what he said."
Lucas looked even more confused; he cocked his head and stared at the foxboy.
"I have a story to tell you."
"Um, ok." Lucas said. "I have some stuff I wanna tell you too. I heard about you and Jack."
"Yeah, um, we were together."
"Yeah I kn... wait, 'were?' I thought it was 'are!'"
"Last night me and him had a huge fight. He was over at my house and we were kissing but I just didn't feel anything so I made him stop and he..."
"WHOA! Whoa, slow down there. What? What happened?"
"Ok, Jack was over last night and he was supposed to sleepover, but we started kissing..."
"I didn't know your relationship was that deep." Lucas interrupted.
"Yeah, so anyway..."
"Have you had sex?" he interrupted again.
"Who's story is this?" Charlie asked annoyedly.
"Fine, go ahead."
"Anyway we were kissing and I just wasn't feeling anything. The first time it felt really good, but this time it was just... I dunno. I just didn't feel anything."
"Ok."
"So I made Jack stop and he got pissed at me. Well, actually we tried kissing twice and I made him stop the second time because I wasn't feeling anything."
"Uh, ok."
"He got all angry and stormed out. I haven't heard from him since."
"Wow, that kicks the crap out of my story... I was just gonna tell you that I'm sorry for coming on too strong and I hope we can be friends."
"Yeah. Yeah, we can be friends. I'm sorry for shoving you back so hard; I didn't mean to. You just surprised me."
"I know, sorry about that. What're you gonna do about Jack?"
"I'm sure I'll see him again. We'll talk it out."
Hopefully, Charlie thought.
"Ok, well, good luck with that."
Lucas turned away. They rode silently for a few minutes until he said "So..." Charlie turned and Lucas made sure he was paying attention. "Have you had sex? With Jack?"
"Yes." Charlie bluntly replied.
Lucas was too stunned to continue. He stared at Charlie as the fox waited patiently for him to continue.
"Uh... um... so are you gay?" Lucas asked.
"I don't know." Charlie again replied bluntly.
"O-ok."
Silence.
"Well if you ever..."
"I don't." Charlie cut him off. He knew the tiger was going to go on about getting together, but Charlie didn't want to hear it.
"Alright."
The rest of the bus ride was silent, and Charlie made sure to maintain at least two inches of space between him and his seat mate.
After arrival at Northledge, Charlie headed for the front doors, up the stairs, and to his locker. He wondered if he'd see Jack, but he gathered his morning supplies from locker 203 without seeing so much as a glimpse. He was almost grateful, since he didn't quite know what to say to the akita.
Charlie started heading down the hall with books in hand, his next meeting with Ethan on the top of his mind. But Charlie wasn't scared; he was just pissed. Pissed that Jack had acted like such an ass and pissed that Ethan couldn't deal with his own insecurities. The foxboy didn't even pause at the door. He went right in and sat down at his new table near the door. The two wolves and hare from before had already arranged themselves at the table so they'd be adjacent to Charlie, but he didn't even care about that. Of course, the second Charlie sat down Ethan rose from his own table and started toward the fox, prompting an exasperated sigh and rising from the male wolf. The wolf started to move into Ethan's path towards Charlie, but to the surprise of the entire classroom Charlie quickly rose to his feet, knocking his chair backwards, faced Ethan, and shouted "NOT NOW, mutherfucker!! Why don't you piss off!?" The class went silent and Ethan was too taken aback to continue walking. He looked at the angry fox and tried to force a laugh, but it came out as more of a whimper. The class noticed and chuckled at his pathetic display. Embarrassed, Ethan took his flattened ears and reddening face back to his seat in silence. He buried his face in his arms at his own table, and Charlie's helper wolf retook his seat. The class erupted into gossip and discussion of what just happened while Charlie silently took his own seat and got out his class materials. The auburn hare at Charlie's table offered a thumbs-up and said "Nice," but Charlie didn't respond.
Ethan ignored Charlie for the rest of class and Charlie ignored him. When the bell rang to signal the end of 1st period, that was the end of it. Now it was off to English, where Charlie awaited his first contact with Jack since last night.
Charlie arrived in English and found, to his great surprise, that Jack was absent! He looked around to confirm it and saw that the akita really wasn't here. Charlie curiously took his usual seat while scanning the room over and over in disbelief. Had Jack skipped out on him? What was going on?
Charlie sat at his desk for a few minutes and finally Jack came in. He even took his usual seat to Charlie's right, and his first words were "I'm sorry."
"Sorry about what?"
"About last night."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You just wanted your space."
"Yeah, I did. And you invaded it."
"I know, but I just wanted... to be intimate."
"You hurt my trust in you."
"And you hurt my trust in you."
"What? What do you mean?"
"Well I trusted you to be my boyfriend."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!? Is this an apology?"
"Yes, but you're just as much at fault as I am."
"You've GOT to be kidding!"
"Um, no. Not at all."
"Oh my freaking God. Jack, I just didn't want to kiss RIGHT THEN."
"You sure acted like you did."
"Well I didn't, and you should've respected that."
"Then you shouldn't have kissed me if you didn't want to kiss!"
Charlie was too stunned to speak for a moment. Finally he said "Ok, when you're ready to make an honest apology and stop being an asshole, let me know."
Charlie turned away, ignoring further comment from Jack. Soon the teacher arrived and started class, forcing Jack to shut up. Charlie was grateful for that.
He pointedly ignored Jack for the entirety of class, paying no attention to his desperate ploys to get him to talk. Charlie was just too annoyed with Jack at the moment to deal with him.
He left class without having said anything further to the now-irate akita. Charlie decided to just let Jack burn, to think about what he said, which is exactly why he sat at a different lunch table. It was a little weird, setting his tray down at a table full on unfamiliar furs in an unfamiliar location, but it was worth it to ignore Jack. The furs at the table took no notice of Charlie, and he ignored them as he ate lunch in uncomfortable silence.
Charlie thought about what he'd do to Jack in Spanish class. He considered apologizing, considered making up, but thought it would really the hurt the poor akita's ego to just act like he wasn't even there. Charlie remembered all the way back to third grade, when his best friend Brian had pulled the same trick on him. Every time Charlie said something, Brian would turn to Zeke and say, "Do you hear something? It must be the wind." It pissed Charlie off to no end and he wanted to do the same to Jack, but maybe minus the childish remark.
Charlie left lunch late to avoid running into Jack. Wary of crossing the halls unaided, he stayed alert. He figured it was possible to run into Ethan or any one of his goons at any time, but he had already resolved to fight his own battles; he didn't need Jack anyway. He wasn't going to "check up" on some poor, insensitive loser. So what if he got his ass kicked? He probably deserved it anyway.
Charlie entered Spanish only seconds before the bell, so he quickly took the seat at the very back of the room in the first row, nearly opposite from the despondent akita.
Spanish today was practice in counting money. "¿Cuánto cuesta?" the teacher kept saying, meaning "how much does it cost?" Charlie took notes on the phrases, but he occasionally glanced over at Jack. Usually he was doing the same thing, but one time they glanced at each other simultaneously. Charlie immediately turned back to his notebook, acting like they hadn't seen each other at all. Until Jack was ready to make an apology, Charlie really didn't want anything to do with him.
As soon as study hall began, the dreaded inevitable happened. Jack left his seat and crossed in front of the entire class to go down Charlie's row, where he stopped right in front of the fox. Charlie knew he was there, but pointedly ignored him by looking diligently at his notes. "Why are you being like this?" Jack asked.
Charlie read his notes, ignoring the question.
"I said I was sorry."
Silence.
"Can you please talk to me?"
Silence.
Jack sighed. "Fine. If you wanna play this game, fine." Jack turned and left the row to return to his seat, where he sat with obvious frustration. Charlie got a bit of devilish pleasure from making Jack angry, but he really just wished the akita could make an honest apology. Unfortunately, Charlie couldn't force him so he would just have to wait.
Both Charlie and Jack were grateful for the bell announcing the end of study hall so they could have a chance to be away from each other. Charlie was nearer the door, so he left at the sound of the first ring and immediately proceeded to history. In fact, the foxboy was so caught up in quickly leaving Spanish class that he made a wrong turn down a hallway. He had already gone nearly into the butt end of the French wing before he noticed, but when he looked around he realized he'd have to turn around to go back to the main hall to make it to history. Charlie groaned and wheeled around, taking a different path to history than he usually took, which landed him right into Ethan's territory. Yes, the otter took most of his classes in the adjacent wing, containing theater, gym, and chemistry classrooms. And it just so happened that right at that moment Ethan and two of his buddies, a tall stag and bulky lion, were headed down the hallway right towards the foxboy. As soon as Charlie took notice he quickly turned around and began fast-walking in the opposite direction, but that quick movement caught Ethan's eye and caused him to call out "Well, well, well."
Charlie stopped in his tracks, reoriented himself to be standing up straight, then slowly and confidently turned to face Ethan and his two friends. "Hi Ethan." Charlie said sadly.
"Hi there Charlie-boy. How's it going with you and Jack?"
"Fine." Charlie lied.
"Oh yeah? Still gay?" Ethan closed the distance and stopped only three feet in front of Charlie. The fox tried to stop from visibly quaking.
"N-not sure."
"Not sure? Why not Charlie-boy?"
"Just n-not sure."
"Mmhmm. Well I'm gonna take that as a YES!!!" With that, Ethan shoved Charlie backwards. Hard. He fell over in the hallway and it was all he could do to cower at Ethan's feet.
"Me and my friends here don't much appreciate your fur-faggotry."
"P-please. Don't!" Charlie held up a paw to cover his face.
"So we're gonna teach you a lesson." Ethan's two friends stepped forward, cracking their knuckles. The lion leaned down and grabbed Charlie by the shirt, forcing him to his feet. He slammed him up against the locker, pinning his arm. Charlie tried to punch the lion back, but he was much stronger than Charlie and laughed at his futile attempts. The lion used his other paw to punch Charlie in the gut. The fox doubled over, falling to his knees. He heard Ethan and the lion laughing uncontrollably until the stag grabbed his neck from underneath, forcing him back to his feet. The stag held Charlie in place by lifting him off the floor by his neck, slowly but surely strangling the poor fox. Charlie flailed wildly but the stag held him too far out to do anything. Through his tunnel vision, Charlie could see the stag reel back a punch with his free hoof. He closed his eyes and tried to turn his head as best he could to avoid the blow, but it never came. All Charlie felt was the stag release him through a rush of air. Charlie opened his eyes to see none other than Aiden, who had evidently stepped in and used a move to throw the stag to the floor. The raccoon deftly dodged the incoming punch from the lion, then he sidestepped between his legs and used another move coupled with the lion's momentum to flip him completely over. Charlie stared in awe as Aiden used his seemingly supernatural skills to take the down the stag again after he got up, then put them both in an arm twist. Looking up, Charlie wondered if the raccoon had neglected Ethan. He saw a quickly disappearing blur of sleek brown fur and knew that Ethan, the coward that he was, was fleeing the fight. Charlie turned back to see that Aiden was simultaneously twisting both his assailants' arms as they lie helplessly on the floor. "Are you gonna leave Charlie alone now?" he said.
Receiving no answer, he coaxed audible pain from the two by twisting their arm further. "HUH!? Are you?"
"Yeeeeeessss." They moaned.
"Now I'm gonna let you up now and you're gonna get the fuck out of my sight. Understood?"
Aiden twisted their arms even further, causing the two to squirm from the pain.
"Ye-he-hesss! Stop, please!"
"Ok." Aiden released their arms and let them up and the two furs quickly fled the scene.
"Whew, that was a good dustup."
Charlie just stared awestruck at Aiden as he brushed himself off. Finally he ran forward and nearly lifted the raccoon off the ground in an embrace. "Ooohh Aiden! Thank you SO much! You were amazing!"
"Uhhh, thanks Charlie. You can let go of me now." Charlie released the hug and let Aiden drop to the floor.
"What was that? Where did you learn that?"
"Heh, I'm a black belt in Jujutsu. I saw those guys messing with you and it didn't seem like a fair fight."
"Wow, thank you so much. I really appreciate it."
"Yeah, are you ok?"
"I'm fine, I just got the wind knocked out of me." Charlie held a paw to his midsection.
"Ok, well, I have to get to class. Try to stay out of trouble. See you later!"
Charlie watched as Aiden walked away, paying special attention to his tight, swaying buttocks. Charlie had never noticed how trim Aiden was before. Or how lithe, skillful, and good he was with his paws...
Charlie was awoken by a passing group of rabbits. He hadn't realized it, but he was completely absorbed in fantasizing about Aiden. But he didn't have time to worry about that now; Charlie rushed off to history.
While in history in his lonely space at the back of the class and while the professor droned on in a monotone about the incredibly boring history of ancient England and since Megan was now moved to a different seat and an empty seat was all Charlie had to focus on, he spent nearly the entire class period replaying the events of what could have very well been the end of Charlie's life, as far as he was concerned. He remembered the flight or flight response upon seeing Ethan and his friends, he remembered the fear as he was discovered, he remembered the pain of getting punched in the gut, but most of all Charlie remembered the flowing grace with which Aiden swooped in and took care of all his problems like it was no big deal. The fox absentmindedly took notes as he followed along with the powerpoint, but his mind was on the raccoon. Eventually, he started to ask himself why it wasn't Jack. Why wasn't Jack there to save him? What did Jack have that Aiden didn't? At least Aiden had the courtesy to protect Charlie, something his boyfriend should normally be doing. "In fact," Charlie thought, "isn't it a waste for someone like me to waste their time on assholes like Jack?" The more he thought about it, the more Charlie was sure that Aiden was the better pick. He was nicer, kinder, apparently really skilled in martial arts, and just better than Jack in every way. When Charlie fantasized, he saw Aiden; not Jack. "There's just one problem..." Charlie mused. "Aiden's straight." He dropped his pencil he was tapping on his notebook and sat back in his chair. "But maybe I can change that."
Charlie wondered if he was being too hasty; too shallow. Making this choice would mean dumping Jack outright. "Maybe I should give him one last chance?" Charlie decided that that was fair; Jack deserved one final shot at making an apology. If he couldn't do it, then that was the end of their relationship and Charlie would move on to bigger and better things. He leaned forward and cupped his head in his paws, deep in thought trying to think back to Jack's schedule to know where he would be for 6th period. Finally Charlie remembered that he had geography, in the same wing Charlie was already in. He would wait in the hall, ask Jack for an apology, and go from there. Hopefully the akita would come to his senses, but Charlie was prepared for either response. He finished history by taking notes as the powerpoint slides went by, playing through possible scenarios in his head.
When it was time, Charlie gathered his things and proceeded to the hallway where the geography classes were located. He told himself that he would wait until Jack came, believing wholeheartedly that he deserved a last chance. Charlie got some glances from passing furs as he leaned against the wall waiting for Jack, but none were threatening. Finally when Charlie was considering leaving, Jack rounded the corner and caught eyes with the waiting fox.
"What do you want? Checking up on me?" Jack said rudely.
"No. I want to talk."
"Ok..."
"Do you have anything you want to say to me?"
"Do you have anything you want to say to me?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry that you're such an ass."
"And I'm sorry that you're such a little prick."
Charlie sighed deeply as he pushed off the wall to a standing position. "Goodbye Jack." He turned to walk away.
"Are you breaking up with me!?" Jack called.
Charlie stopped to think for a moment. He looked at the ceiling in consideration of Jack's question, then turned to look the akita right in the eye.
"Yes."