Project X-Posure (May 2022)

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#5 of Patreon Fanfics

Queen has a picnic with Doe today! Hopefully she's not strutting around a park completely naked after her science experiment convinced everyone that's perfectly normal.


Final winner of the Patreon poll! Thank you to alfa995 for the characters!


Project X-Posure

Queen

"Hey, Doe! I'm back! Why was the door unlocked?"

No response. Dirty dishes in the sink; the faucet drip was so loud. Strange. Doe was so extroverted, she'd look away from a vial of bubbling nitrogen to answer the phone. Not even the heater moaned in the basement, where she'd camped out week after week with clandestine projects that smelled a little like lavender and pineapple. If not there, where was she? The day club? Queen's blue sweater and pink skirt sufficed for the autumn day, picnic basket teetering in hand like a ticking clock. Queen pouted, but the bulk of it, she locked up, holding on to her trust. Still, that doe should've known today was their day.

"Doe?!" she called again. "Are you ready for our picnic?!"

Okay. By the second time, it was official-she was out. Perhaps she'd left a note somewhere before her hurry, Queen assumed. But she scratched her temple when instead she found a stack of papers on the kitchen counter. Center frame, the title in bold, Algerian font read, "Love Potion Disaster"

"Huh. I didn't know she was making a movie."

But when she read on, she discovered one of her science documents, instead.

"Experiment X: Love Potion"

_ Kinky,_ Queen thought, but not an answer. She read on:

"What I am about to do may be labeled 'unprecedented' by an intimidating number of scientists. In summation, part of me is afraid to publish this study. Truthfully, I have always been interested in our brains. I thought I was a neuroscientist before I found my true passion in chemistry, though the sheer magnitude of possible discoveries remains intriguing and, in many cases, tempting for study. So I spent the past several years researching on my own, dedicating an entire bookshelf to its volumes and emailing associates of any confusions before I trusted myself with the lab. In lieu of my Ph.D. and six awards, I feel confident enough in my experience to step into this field. I decided to create a lab in my basement after watching the early 2000s film "Cats & Dogs" out of boredom and being inspired by its home grown laboratory. Obviously that means this experiment was done in a closed environment.

_ For many, small talk is frustrating, but it is a necessary barrier to acquiring the affection we need. Yet, this comes with an unfortunate side effect. Many of us struggle to get past this barrier and receive the love they so desperately need. Often, this postpones possible star-crossed relationships for months, or even years, out of the overwhelming expectation of rejection, shame and various social consequences. This is, in large part, a defense mechanism mainly evolved to protect itself from unfaithful partners, and there is nothing wrong with its existence. But after recent data of successful relationships, I was curious if there was a way to 'break' this barrier."_

_ _ Queen was shocked to find out that was the end of it. Or, it would've been, had there not been another page on the coffee table.

_ "The conduction of this experiment revolves around harnessing the cerebral sensations of experiencing pleasure (i.e. dopamine receptors). After countless failed prototypes detailed in earlier sections, I have found one that accurately triggers what I want. I have created a concoction of purple liquid which would turn to a gaseous state if exposed to oxygen, which disperses its pheromones that smell like lavender, and have non-toxic effects once inhaled. To test it, I have a control group of one rat and a test group of three others, who will be given varying doses of 5, 10, and 15 mL. On the projector, I have clips of a horror movie, a romance, comedy and a thriller. Brainwave monitors will record any change in their synapses._

_"The intensity of the sensation came as no surprise. What I didn't expect was no clear emotions to be shown at all. None of the movie clips appeared to have a significant neurological effect aside from gluing their eyes to the screen. _

As I write this, I'm contemplating why this might be. It was as if the act of these things happening was more important th"

A pen slash streaked across the paper on the "h". Wait. The door was unlocked. Queen frantically called her number.

"Hey Doe, you okay?"

"Yeah! Just fine! Everything's fine! Great! Perfectly okay! Why's that?"

"You're not in any trouble, are you?"

"No, no, no, of course not! I've just discovered something super important, and-"

"You do know we have a picnic today, right?"

Seconds of silence felt like hours; amidst it, Queen could feel her going, "Oh shit." And the hangup directly afterwards confirmed her every thought. Worry, doubt, the shiver of truth picked and plucked her furs to spines when a rough BANG-BANG-BANG on the basement door startled her trance. Opening it, a gray rat man stood on the threshold of the stairs with a band t-shirt and piercings all over his ears, drowsy and angry. Down at the bottom of the stairs was a couple of rats making out with each other.

"Can I go home now?" he asked.

"Uh...yeah."

____

NOVEMBER 11th

_ ENTRY 786_

_ "PROJECT X-POSURE"_

URGENCY: RED

TIME: 1:12 PM

Hey everybody! Here's Dr. Doe's Science Tip of the Week!

A good scientist should always be open about their mistakes! It's okay to be embarrassed, but it's selfish to keep it all inside! Be proud of your mistakes! Because just like in life, every mistake could be a valuable lesson for someone else. Knowledge is the difference between a Eureka and a horrible accident, so we want everybody to be as confident as can be! And I know it's hard to stay positive. Not everyone has more protons than electrons. But remember-your studies could inspire the next generation of scientists!

So, with that all said: I would not publish this fucking paper if Satan himself was dragging me by the tits to the fiery pits of Hell!

For safekeeping, (and for possible legal issues) I've compiled all the things that went wrong! If it looks like a word is misspelled, it's because of my violently twitching eyelid. Let's begin!

  1. Became too excited

The second I realized my discovery, I loaded everything in the Science Van. It's a van, made for science. The test tubes were stored in rows of eight, columns of twenty-two; mass produced for repetition of exercise at a more fit laboratory. They were tightly fastened together with makeshift rope, and then tied to the inside of a glass cage. This was not the best method of transportation, because...

  1. Wrong turn

I nearly missed my turn and swerved the car too fast. The rack of test tubes were secured well enough, but some parts could have gotten loose.

  1. Ran out of gas

Well, not gasoline. My van runs on solar energy from the roof, but it was in the garage all night because of the rain. I could only park at Spring Park and pray for room to breathe. I checked the chemicals in the back and realized a raccoon had gotten in the van.

  1. Disposing the intruder

I freaked out, grabbed a jar and tried to apprehend the raccoon. I was successful...but I bent too far, and my lab coat caught on to the airtight container and popped all the corks off the vials like a game of dominos. The gas mask I was wearing at the time in preparation for this, and my lab coat was unaffected. A thick cloud of pink smoke dissipated across the van, increasing the temperature rapidly. I tried to move back to the front, but had forgotten to unfasten my coat, and it unbuttoned itself as I tripped out of it.

  1. My instincts

I shrieked for help but my fur wasn't sautered! If anything, it was like standing in a hot spring!

  1. The impact

So much smoke had accumulated that the back door came bursting open. It was like a mighty gust the way it flew out-taking my lab coat with me.

  1. My decision making

Remember when I said I was making love potions? I like to mix up my attire to match the mood. And it gets so hot in the basement. Today, I went with something a little more revealing.

  1. It was a bikini.

I wore a bikini in the science lab.

  1. I looked great in it!

It really brings out my eyes!

  1. It dissolved instantly.

Have you ever pillow talked with an experimental gas?

  1. I have no backup clothing.

Even if I did, they probably would've dissolved, too. You know what? This might be another thing a good scientist does! Always carry backup clothing!

  1. There are people walking around me.

Ignorance is bliss, you know what they say!

  1. I'm completely naked in public.

I just wanted to make that really, really clear!

On the plus side, who wouldn't be with curves this nice? I mean, gosh, if you could see them now! And you would, because my hands aren't big enough to cover it all! This would be the greatest day of my life if it wasn't for the fact that God is a merciless deity with a sick sense of humor!

I'm perfectly fine and the gas proved to be non-corrosive, as the van is still intact. However, there is now a sparkling pink cloud rolling all throughout the park. I also made a note for myself, "Go get chocolate at the store" and left it on the dashboard, because a good scientist always takes care of her mental health. Aside from possible armageddon, that's about it! I'll document more updates as it goes!

1:35 PM

My reflection on the windshield made me realize something. Leg day paid off, and my thighs were a lot bigger than I'd remembered. I guess all that time in the lab made me forget. And the foreground of cookouts, kites and talkers made me think things that I shouldn't. Strangely enough, they all seemed to be having fun, and not slowly asphyxiating under an unknown pressure while they slowly die of confusion like choice paralysis at an IKEA. They must've been fine, because a huge buck ducking his head through the back of the van made me yelp. Dark green vest, huge antlers, stern look-welp, it's the park ranger. I hardly had time to cover myself, and the new boob job I got didn't make that easier.

He said, "Everything okay in here, ma'am?"

"I'm sorry! Don't come in here!"

"What's the problem? It's just you in your birthday suit."

"Don't be a pervert! But yes, I'm fine. Is everybody all right?"

"Uh...yeah. Why?"

"I shouldn't have taken the wrong turn to-what?"

"Everyone's fine. Just a normal day.

I felt the world's orbit slowed to a crawl. "No pink armageddon?"

"No, you're fine, ma'am. You and your conspicuously placed crate of open test tubes. You should get outside! Ever since this pink cloud rolled in and dispersed throughout the park, the visitors consisting of all adults have been loving it. But, I'm sure it's nothing serious. Carry on!"

Nothing made sense. First of all, the last time someone had seen me naked, it was on the beach where I went to grab a beer and accidentally grabbed my experiment that forced me to do the same four sexy poses over and over again with my bikini off and actually I lied to you it was in front of thousands. But then I thought back to the project. *The way it neutralized all brain activity. *

Is it possible he...?

I purposefully set my watch to 5:27 PM and yelled for him to come back. I pointed between it and a nearby clock which read 1:28 PM.

"It says 5:27 PM, right?"

"Right."

"So what about that clock?"

"What about it? It just says 1:28 PM."

"How does that work?"

"Ma'am, I don't think you understand. We live in two simultaneous planes of existence."

"And you think it's normal to believe that?"

"Well, I'm no scientist, but I'd say it's perfectly normal."

Interesting.

Extraordinarily interesting.

2:19 PM

Keys under the wheel fender: check. Van locked up: check. I calculated about another hour before the cloud dissipated. One full hour to do the craziest thing imaginable.

The first thing I noticed was the gate. If I walked now, there was no going back. I knew it damn well. But that park was calling to me, and every curve, notch and muscle in my body wanted air to breathe. A fantasy I've had for at least a decade stewed again. My tongue clicked. My hair flew. The park was a catwalk, leaf tornadoes at the hooves, that Vitamin D nuzzling my caramel curves, spots and every slit in between. Two bucks playing frisbee lose track, and it goes far off to the woods. A group of college students writing at the big tree look up and stare. But they don't stop me. Today in Science Weekly's big discoveries: no matter how tight she struts, how much her boobs bounce, or how many eyes follow her, nobody bats an eye at a completely naked doe.

I call it...

The Scarf Theory.

The scarlet goes great with my fur! I got it on a date from Nate in upstate Maine! Whoo, look how many rhymes that was! I came seven hundred times that night. Anyway,

I thought I'd look cute with it fluttering all over the place, exposing and hiding my vagina like a grandfather clock's tease. Though it was my butt that held their attention long after I walked away. Those who noticed gave a wave-those who liked it watched it bounce. The sight of me was normal, but these hips and these boobs are a dime a dozen, and they knew it well. Tents in jeans all around like a campsite when they saw the spots. The rush was in the knowledge-how badly did these men want to pin me to the ground and go to town on me? Confidence and normalcy are the perfect blend-don't you ever forget it. You call it a biochemical massacre, I call it a whoopsie daisy. I don't care if anybody in this public park sees me naked, even if they are huffing dangerous chemicals.

But I'll be honest-it was still nerve wracking! Halfway through, it felt like a whole city was watching me strut my stuff. Though the more I did it, the clearer it was that I've made a lot of friends in this town. You could say I get around. So I had a lot of hands to shake.

"Hey, Doe! Nice hair!"

"Oh, hey, it's Doc Doe! When'd you get so naked?!"

"Hi Doe. I just wanted to know that I aced my chemistry exam and when I told them I copied all the answers from your test, they instantly gave me the Ph.D. Can I get your autograph?"

The confidence booster kept coming and coming. My clit was rising, my vulva engorging. At this rate, the urges were doing a better job keeping my nipples hard than the breeze.

"Hey Doe! What are you doing out here like that?"

I said, "Oh, just an experiment!"

"That's awesome! If only more women were in STEM. Then we'd see this all the time!"

Which is interesting, because more women are in STEM. Maybe it would be a little easier to succeed in this field if there wasn't such a huge gender bias skewed towards men who don't care about us in the first place! Haha! But anyway.

After all the attention, I was thinking of returning to the van. But towards the thicket in the back, a group was forming, and an eccentric tabby cat bellowed, "Glad you all could be here on our park tour!"

Now, it's obviously a terrible idea to be impulsive with an experiment...

...but maybe I could make an exception.

Queen

It might have been all the houses. It might have been the party down the street, or the dogs barking in the backyard, but something hit her in that cold pursuit. What if she was searching for the wrong thing? Doe's hard work in the lab may have locked her out from love, so was now the time to ask? What about a week's worth of contemplation? A month? Three years wouldn't be so bad, right? And the more she thought about it, the more she felt she was the one who messed up. A mighty gust made her skirt an upset jellyfish as a white sheet tumbled in her direction like an undersea divorce filing. When it wrapped around her ankles, she picked it up and gasped.

"Is this...her lab coat?" she said. "What's it doing here?"

No signs of life, no vans as white as it. The surprisingly soft fabric made her feel closer, at a distance, and she thought about adding it to her mattress. Unfortunately, she thought about it so hard that she ended up huffing it. A tickle clogged her nostrils, but with no sneeze, her pupils dilated with sudden triumph.

"I get it, now!" she yelled. "It's completely normal to feel this nervous around someone like Doe! I've gotta do something special to let her know I really like her."

The doppler effect in the form of an open car window went, "You should get her flowers from the store."

"I know! I'll get her flowers from the store!"

Doctor Doe, 2:28 PM

"And here's where we erected the Nude Statue of Davia!"

Twenty three guests. Twenty-three gasps. Forty-six eyes staring back at me, twenty-three tongues all telling me the same thing:

"You look just like her!"

I'll admit, it made me wet. And so I wanted to give them a better show.

We came to a part where the trees parted and gave way to this beautiful wooden bridge, bright enough to film a music video.

And it was a beautiful view. The cataract was sparkling, and the sun was positioned in just the right spot. Perfect for a swim, aside from the fact that diving from this distance would break every bone in my body. So I waded out in front. Bent over, the scarf draping between my legs.

"It's a nice view, isn't it?" I winked. "But it could be nicer."

The idea was to see just how far their normalized brains could go. The temptation would be sure to drive them nuts, right? But nobody moved. I shook my butt a bit to rise a reaction. Still, nobody moved.

"It'd be nice if someone would just grab my hips and publicly breed me like the slut I am!"

I shifted my legs, let out a little moan, flexing my butt cheeks to let the fabric in the crack grow tighter and tighter, and yet...nobody went for it. It was frustrating, right? Like, what the fuck, this isn't the type of rut I want to be stuck in! But once I calmed down, I realized they were being respectful. My calculations propose they thought no matter how normal it was to see a naked woman in public, it was still just "normal" if I acted horny. Either they'd never make a move, or they just wanted to enjoy the view. Perhaps the mist had gotten to my head a little, too...

Well, that's fine. I watched the trapeze artist birds soar across the trees and the blankets of water gleam above the rocks. The sun between the valley, the pink hue blending with the blue sky. In the inspiring, chilling, breathtaking view of purest nature, I came on the spot, and then everyone applauded, because I did a wonderful job.

I took the scarf off and let it drip. "It's a nice view, isn't it?" Everybody agreed. Around me, other people leaned over to watch the world pass by. It was the most peaceful thing I'd ever seen. And yet, something was missing...

No, I thought. It was probably nothing.

Queen

"Lavender Park", read the stone embroidered sign, and no surprises were to be found. Queen was frustrated, sure that Doe had gotten herself into trouble again. The least she could do was return the lab coat to the Science Van, the van where the science was.

She saw the van parked and couldn't get the sight of it. "Awww. Doe parked on two handicap spots at the same time. She's so popular." But no one was there. Her hip bumped on the fender and heard a clink on the concrete. It was the car keys! She unlocked the door and stepped inside.

And she hadn't even noticed the contents before the note on the dashboard.

"Go to the store and get chocolate."

"She's right!" Queen asserted. "I need to make this more special! It needs to be in a heart shaped box, and all the flavors need to be extremely difficult to understand! Thanks, Doe! You always know exactly what I'm thinking!"

Doctor Doe, 3:01 PM

_ _ There was time for one more trick.

Beyond the trees with plump, juicy apples came out to a wide mouth of washed sediment by a lake-open as a farm in Montana. The breeze nipped at my fur, and my nipples were hard from the chill. I wanted to take a swim and emerge like one of those girls in the movies. Walking around all drenched and naked was sure to pick me up a couple boys, that pink steam setting the mood...

Still, I wasn't quite sure if I could-

"And here is the lake where everyone masturbates!" the tour guide said with his finest smile of enthusiasm.

As it turns out, God was dead all along! Off came the scarf as I plopped down on a bench and put two fingers to my vulva. The crowd instantly gathered around me-intrigued, maybe even a little envious. Suddenly, it felt warmer. All those eyes watching me finger myself, bite my lip, the raining leaves behind me. Their comments were so enticing:

"Apparently it's pink in there. Nice."

"Oh, I think I saw that on TV once."

"Is that a spot on her clit? That's kinda cool."

It sounded sexier in the moment, I promise. The rush of orgasm reacted strangely with the mist. My body wanted to normalize it, but such an intense burst couldn't be quelled-so instead, it was a waterfall from my body. I sweated from every pore as I came, flaring like a giant wind tunnel of flames, and my legs vibrated to ease the craziness.

And then...silence. Awe, I'm sure. I thought for sure they were ready to fuck me. The crowd responded with utmost enjoyment:

one person applauds

OH FOR THE LOVE OF

Wait. That's not how a good scientist reacts! A good scientist reflects on past events and learns from them. Let's see, first I was a sperm cell, then I was conceived, then I was born, several unspeakable things happened, then...

Oh God. Queen! We had a picnic today!

I took off as fast as I could!

3:12 PM

_ _ At this point, I thought, you know what? It's normal to be nude in nature. That's how our great-great-great (900x) great ancestors lived long ago! Of course, I'm telling you this to soften the blow. Standing on the threshold to the tour path, that same wide open field of people had grown exponentially. I thought for a moment there was a concert happening. But no. People were just out there. Menacingly. It was impossible to tell if the effects had held up. But at least I had the scarf, right?

Uh. Nope.

I guess I took off without it.

"Oh dear. I care immensely if anyone in this public park sees me naked."

This was it. This was where the knowledge from my degree came in. A wave of swaying leaves in the distance told me that another blast of wind would come soon and knock the leaves out the trees. This was the most difficult part of the experiment.I calculated my probability, running speed, weight and height. And with the precision of a scalpel, I dashed out in tandem with the gust, the leaves shaken from their trees covering my bits at exactly the right moments to obscure them from everyone. The shock in my head, and the thrill of the hunt had many words, but for the sake of time, we'll call it a giga orgasm. The world was real again when I got to the van. Thank God that absolutely no one saw me.

Now that there was absolutely nothing that could go wrong, I stepped into the van. And then tripped over my own hoof, because there wasn't a van. I blinked once. Twice. I rubbed my eyes.

Yep. It's gone. Van? More like van-ished! Hah! You're laughing.

And now you're thinking, "this is the part where she walks home naked, isn't it?"

You're never gonna believe this!

Queen

The cashier told her, "Okay, that'll be $19.97."

"Sounds good to me," Queen said. "You know, I need to go to the dildo shop more often. You guys have the best chocolate."

"You wouldn't think, huh?"

"Yeah! See, I got here from a note left in the van I took. But it didn't say which store, so I followed my heart instead, and here I am on a perfectly normal day in Taiwan."

"You're an outsider, are you? Ha ha! Outsiders get one dildo for free."

"Oh, really? Nice! I'll have the one with tons of spikes on it."

Doctor Doe, 3:54 PM

_ _ All experiments have unforeseen consequences that turn into lessons. However, they usually don't contain forty-two whole minutes of ducking behind mailboxes so that the neighbors won't see you running around butt naked! In some places, I couldn't avoid it. For those, I hid in the gardens and pretended to tend to the flowers. I sat on the ground and looked at a window, pretending to pose for an unseen artist. And they called out each time, "Hey, Doe! You look great!" Yeah, but I'm supposed to be tipsy at a bar at the same time! This was the most embarrassing day of my life! So of course, all the while, my vagina was constantly on the verge of exploding in pleasure!

It felt like hours of nonstop public nudity before I finally saw my house. I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I watched my car serve into her driveway, Queen exiting it.

"Queen! Thank God! Your timing was perfect!" I yelled. "Let me inside!"

"Doe!" she yelled, then smiled. "Ooh. Going for a little naked neighborhood walk? I've always thought your confidence would lead you here."

"First off, what? Secondly, how'd you get my van?"

"It was there. You parked it there, right?"

Suddenly, I knew what was going on. Somehow, my experiment had gotten to Queen. And then I realized what I was missing all along-a friend. Someone to spend time with as I did my crazy things!

"Hey, Queen," I said, "actually, you wanna do something for me?"

We kissed and fooled around. Queen was always great with her fingers. But this was different. She was holding a huge sixteen inch dildo that was purple like a sword. She faced me away from the road just as a car passed by, completely missing the sight of me. The blood rushed in my body, and I felt my cheeks bubble, and my boobs becoming sensitive for her touch. She inserted the dildo into me and whispered into my ear.

My legs felt so weak as I came into her hand, soaking her wrist, melting into her kiss. I felt like I was melting into hot, greasy fabric! And the lower I sulked down, the further away from her lips I was, until I was staring her drunkenly in the eyes.

"Thanks, Queen. I needed that."

"Anything for you, Doe." Pulling me up with fistfuls of my butt, her face lit up in excitement. "I also got you flowers and chocolate! In hindsight, it may be a little romantic, but I thought you'd like it!"

"Oh, you don't need to do that! You just needed to show up! And I'm sorry I didn't do the same to you."

"It's fine, Doe, I was just worried! Where were you all day?"

"Strutting my fat ass around a public park completely naked."

"That's okay, Doe, I wouldn't expect anything less of you! At least you didn't spend all your time in your lab!"

"The lab?" I sulked. "Oh. I guess I've been spending a lot of time in there, huh? I should really put that aside and spend time with the people I care about. And I'm glad you're here for me."

"Of course, Doe. Any time."

The world stopped spinning as we hugged, the convection of our sweat and love fusing us like atoms. The experiment's success was up in the air, but the covalent bond I've been searching for was love. But unlike atoms, it eventually got awkward, as we both realized what we were doing and how I was still violating several human rights.

"Uh...can I go inside and put clothes on?"

"Oh yeah. That might be normal."

We had that picnic eventually! On a different day. For today, we just watched TV and ate pizza. But it was enough to be the best day in a long, long while.

Conclusion:

At first, I thought the experiment normalized everything the person saw in front of them. What Queen showed me is that it instead normalized their thoughts. For example, if you saw a spider in your house, your decision to squash it would feel the same as if you torched it with a flamethrower... *and the rest of your house with it. *

Judging by our impulses, I'd say we got pretty lucky. Actually, it's quite flattering! It shows everybody thought I looked better naked and were sympathetic for my actions. But it also shows how dangerous it is. Say I was considering robbing a bank and could no longer figure out why that's a bad idea. That could hurt a lot of people!

For now, I'll stay silent. I don't need a smartphone company stealing my project and using it to convince people to spend three hundred dollars on something they already own. It would be crazy if that was somehow normal in modern society! But hey. Actual charges of public indecency aside. Wouldn't it be nice to turn off our fears every once in a while? Queen could have the crazy social life she wants, and I could stop getting choice paralysis from stress. I could find scientific solutions to major world problems without the weight of them keeping me up at night. Oh! I could take that skydiving adventure I've always wanted! Then again, if falling from the sky was normal, I guess it wouldn't be very fun.

It's a tough call. And I'll be honest-I felt stuck. But I think the fun of letting go is in the "letting go" part. You face the thing that scares you and say, "I'm gonna do it anyway." In a way, if I could magically take away the resistance, it would also take away from that journey. And isn't it the experience from those journeys that make up who we are?

But, I mean, without the naked part. Yeah. Don't do that.

Anyways! I'll be writing updates as they come.

Hmm.

Suddenly I wish I could publish this!

Oh well!

See you all next time!


Thumbnail: Doe in the park