Ashley

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#2 of Redwater

A lynx and a bat mourn the loss of their friend.


"Hey, thanks for doing this again, by the way."

It was the first thing Eddie said ever since we went on this walk. I looked over at him and the bat smiled back at me. His smile was faint, a little forced. It didn't do much to hide what he really felt, but that didn't matter. It was the first time I saw him smile in a while.

"Yeah, no problem," I said.

He nodded, his gaze falling back down to the ground. The smile disappeared as soon as it came. His face was fixed back to that faraway stare that didn't seem to focus on anything. The face he made ever since Ashley died. And here I thought this walk could have had any progress, but I guess I was too naive thinking he could do that in three weeks.

"And I'm sorry, Zoe. It's in the middle of the night, and you probably have to wake up early, and you don't even know where we are."

"Hey," I said. "It's fine. If it makes you feel better, I'm can't sleep at night, too. Besides, you know your way around these parts, and I have my faith in you."

We were walking in the middle of the woods, on a path I had never seen before. Eddie was always one for following those who piqued his curiosity, and the things he found always surprised me. I guessed that this was one of the things he recently discovered, but it seemed he was already familiar with it. He woke me up an hour ago and said he wanted to go out for a walk, so there we were. I had to admit; it was one of the nicer walks I had for the past month. I didn't know how much I needed that.

"I wish I had faith in me," Eddie muttered under his breath.

"Please have faith," I said. "I need someone to get us out of here."

He chuckled. "I know this path like the back of my hand. No faith needed."

"Your parents will cry if they hear you say that."

"What they don't know, they're not going to cry about."

Now I was the one who smiled. I missed this side of Eddie. I hadn't seen that side of him since... well, since Ashley. Between me and him, he took it harder. He didn't talk as much as he used to anymore. After Ashley's funeral, he was always in his own little world, and he wouldn't laugh or get mad or cry anymore. It was glad to know there was still some part of him that was still there.

Ashley died about a month ago. It came as a surprise to all of us, and it happened so fast, too. The last time I saw her, the three of us were just walking around town like we always did. She was perfectly fine at the time, but she disappeared the very next day with no warning. We looked for her for two weeks, but we just couldn't find her. I thought maybe she ran away. Eddie did too. Deep down, we both knew there was no way she would, since she just wasn't the type. But that was the only thing I could tell myself, because the alternatives were just too scary to think about.

And then her body showed up.

It appeared by the river. One of the search parties found something floating by the river. It took a minute for them to recognize who it was. I could still remember seeing the body before the authorities showed up. The way the limbs bent in unnatural directions, bruises and wounds, the chunk of flesh that was missing from her stomach, the way the wounds in her eyes looked like. I couldn't help but vomit and cry at the sight.

The week that led to her funeral was something I'd give everything not to go through again. Ashley's death was just beginning to sink in at that point and my surroundings at the time--the crying, the talking, and the comforting--only punctuated that fact. I wanted nothing more than to run away and process the feelings on my own. But I couldn't do that, so I stayed, and it hurt the whole time. That was just me, though. I couldn't imagine what his family must've felt like. If Eddie was a mess, then I couldn't imagine what it must've been like for them.

The wind picked up, and I zipped up my jacket. Eddie put on his hood, gaze still fixated on the floor. When I shivered some more, he finally looked up at me and chuckled.

"Aren't lynxes built for this weather?" he said.

"Well, sorry, I'm not the average lynx," I say.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

I shrugged. "We don't know."

He shook his head. "Better figure it out, then."

"Eh, maybe later. Just settle with the fact that I am not the average lynx."

Eddie nodded. "You are."

We fell silent, and I watched him this time. Eddie looked at the sky, then he took a deep breath. "Ashley would've been pissed if we hadn't invited her here."

"Eddie..."

He raised a palm, giving me a small smile. "I'm okay. It wouldn't do Ashley justice if we didn't talk about her. Are you okay, though?"

I sighed. Every part of me was screaming that it was a bad idea, probably because it felt like he'd break if I so much as mentioned her. But if that was what he wanted, then so be it.

I nodded. "I'm all right. I'm just worried about you more than anything."

"Don't worry about me... but thank you for being honest."

We stood there awkwardly, then Eddie cleared his throat. "So, are we gonna talk about Ashley or not?"

I chuckled. "You go first."

"Okay, okay. So... Ashley." Eddie looked around at the trees. He fixated his gaze on his right before his gaze dropped to the floor again. "What did I say again? Earlier?"

"Ashley would've been pissed if we didn't bring her here right now?"

"Oh, yeah. That. She always was one for anything that's not the same boring thing every day. Her words, not mine."

"Yeah. It was like she grew up, but she was mentally stuck as a child. Remember her 'adventures?'"

Eddie chuckled. "Yeah, I remember that. She got us in trouble all the time."

"Especially the time when we went to the river."

Immediately, Eddie stiffened at that. It took me a second to realize what I just said, and I wanted to kick myself for that.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," I said.

"I know. I know," Eddie said. "You were talking about the time when we went swimming. In the winter."

I smiled and nodded. I wanted to feel relieved about that, but I couldn't help but think about Eddie's reaction earlier. He was pretty hard to read back then, and Ashley was always able to figure it out. Now that she wasn't with us anymore, I couldn't tell a thing about him. Especially because he was doing his best to hide what he felt about it, and I was constantly scared that he might not even be alive for much long if it continued, and I hated it. But he was doing his best to lighten the mood, and there's nothing else I could do that I was sure of other than go along.

"It had just snowed at the time, right?" I said. "The river wasn't frozen yet?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Ashley practically pushed us to swim. She said something along the lines of, 'We need to swim before it gets frozen.' So we did, and we all got sick after that."

I shook my head. "Kids, man."

"Oh, she got worse when we got older, remember? You seriously forgot her thirteenth birthday, when she got us to sneak out to run away to another town? In the middle of her party?"

"Oh, I forgot about that." I laughed. "It was the best thing to ever happen out of her 'adventures.'"

"Good for you, I got grounded for a week after that while you had a... what did you get, again?"

"A signed album. Sacrificing your freedom for a week was definitely worth it."

He rolled his eyes. I waited for him to hate on the band I liked for an hour or so, but it never came. He hated it with a passion when Ashley was still around. Eddie probably still did, but he's just not as convicted about it right now. I never thought I'd miss that.

"Well, it was worth it to Ashley, so I guess that was what matters," he said. Then he sighs. "I miss her."

I sighed. "Yeah. Me too."

Eddie kicked the rocks on the ground, and it was clear that he was deep in thought. I looked around me again. I imagined Ashley being here. The thought was so vivid, and it had a lot of details too. So Eddie would wake me up and ask me if I was willing to walk in the woods in the middle of the night. Ashley would probably be awake, for whatever reason. She'd be more than ecstatic about that fact and would be practically dragging us out the door. Ashley would've kept us talking for hours on end, then she would have these suggestions and what we're gonna do, and where we were going to go next. She would've made this a lot more fun than it was.

I looked at Eddie again, and the reality hit me. That she wasn't going to do that anymore. That she wasn't going to make conversations as fun or lively anymore, that she wasn't going to drag us into trouble ever again, that she wasn't going to be here anymore. Ever since the funeral, there was this empty space whenever I was with Eddie, and there was nothing I could do to fill that. It was probably the same thing with Eddie, but I didn't know how bad it was for him, and it scared me.

"Ashley's parents aren't taking this pretty good," Eddie said.

"I haven't heard from them in a while," I said. "How bad?"

He sighed. "They... don't do much. I mean, they eat and work, but when they're not doing anything important, they just sit there and either they look at Ashley's pictures or just... do nothing. I don't like seeing that, but their other family members are just too far away. Someone has to check in on them every once in a while."

"It's good that you're there for them. But how do you feel?"

Eddie took a deep breath, then he turned to me. I could only catch a glimpse of the expression on his face before he looked away. He was conflicted, but I didn't know what for. Eddie scratched the back of his neck before sighing and turned to me again, but he didn't make eye contact like before.

"I... I don't know. I miss Ashley. I wish she's here right now, and I feel really bad that she isn't. And every night, I can't help but think that she should be here, but she isn't and I... I..."

He stopped walking, prompting me to stop as well. He curled in on himself, cupping his face with his hands, and started crying. I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me tight, burying his face on my shoulder. I ran my hand down the back of his head, hushing him and trying my best to be comforting. I don't think I was doing a good job, but it did a bit of help, at least. We stood like that for a few seconds before he calmed down. He gently pushed himself off of me and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," I said.

"No, no. It's fine. I just..." Eddie shook his head. "You don't have to apologize. You're plenty helpful."

"Thank you."

"How do you do it, though? Why aren't you... you know."

"Breaking down?" I smiled. "I already did that a lot. But even if I feel like it, someone has to be the strong one, and you look like you need to let it all out."

He looked at me and returned the smile. "Thanks."

"No problem."

He nodded, and then something caught his eye. He turned around and started looking for something. Recognition dawned on his face, and I was about to ask when he turned to me. He pointed behind him with a thumb. "Wanna go downtown? I know a shortcut."

I turned to look at the forest behind him. I could barely see anything there other than trees. There wasn't even much of a path, too, if there was ever one. I was having second thoughts about going, but Eddie wouldn't have suggested if he didn't know where he was going.

"Sure," I said. "But I feel like we're gonna get lost if we go there."

"I know the place like the back of my hand. Don't worry, I won't get you lost."

He smiled at me, and the sight comforted me more that he thought. I smiled back at him. "All right then, lead the way."

With that, he nodded and pulled out his phone. He turned on the flashlight app, prompting me to do the same. As I turned it on, Eddie was already off the path and was touching the nearest tree. He beckoned me over and I walked over to him, then we both went into the darkness.

It felt weird, walking off the path and actually walking in the forest. The air felt colder, and the darkness was almost suffocating. My ears twitched at every movement I hear, the leaves, the branches, the grass. Every noise was louder, and I felt compelled to listen to every single one of them. I huddled closer to Eddie. He seemed to be doing fine, but I guess that was what walking in this path back and forth made him used to it.

"This place is creepy," I said.

"You get used to it," Eddie said.

"Really? Doesn't Redwater's reputation bother you? People get lost in these forests all the time here. A possum got lost in the woods back at New Year's. Doesn't that sway you just one bit?"

"Just a bit, but like I said, you get used to it, eventually. Ashley would be disappointed with us if we slacked off in terms of adventures because we were scared."

It hurt, being reminded of Ashley again, but I shook my head to get the thought off of it. "Yeah. You have a point."

"We... we can go back if you're scared."

I gently nudged him forward. "No no. Go ahead. I'm curious about this path now."

"All right then. If you say so."

Eddie's gaze turned back to the dark and picked up the pace. I tried to do the same, but it was easier said than done. There were upturned roots and twigs all around, and I couldn't do much about it. I kept tripping on things and it made it much harder for me to walk properly. Eddie seemed to be doing just fine, though. It was like he was walking an empty street.

"You seem to know this place like the back of your hand."

"I've been here pretty often, so yeah, I guess that counts," he said.

We continued to walk in silence for a few more minutes. I walked behind him, so I knew the path was clear. As comforting as it was to have Eddie in a place like this, I couldn't help but notice every little sound that my ears picked up. I found myself looking in every direction whenever I heard something. It was mostly sounds of leaves or grass. I tried ignoring it since I was just psyching myself up, but it was harder than I thought it'd be.

"Why'd you wanna go downtown?" I asked. "Is there something you wanna do? Or see?"

Eddie tilted his head ever so slightly in my direction. I knew what that look meant. That was the look he had when he was thinking things through. Part of me was worried as to why he was thinking about it. Before I could say something, Eddie answered.

"I just wanna be around people."

"I'm people."

"I know what that sounds like. It's not a problem with you. I just needed to be around a lot of people to get my mind off things."

"Hey, it's no problem. I completely understand." I patted his shoulder to be comforting. "But what are you trying to get your mind off of? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm just curious."

Eddie didn't answer immediately. I could tell from the way his shoulders sagged that he was debating something in his head. I waited for him to answer, and as I did, I looked behind me to the trees and the dark.

"Zoe," Eddie said. "I wanna tell you something, but I wanna know that you're not gonna react to this pretty badly."

That thought made me a little nervous, but I nodded. "I won't. I promise."

Eddie nodded, then he took a deep breath. "Okay, so I haven't told you this, but I've been seeing this... thing for the past two years now."

"What kind of thing?" I asked.

"It's pretty hard to explain; I'll get to it. So, I..." Eddie sighed. He shook his head before continuing. "About... two years ago, I started having these nightmares. They were pretty vague, and they didn't go anywhere, but they always ended with me seeing this thing."

"What thing?"

"I don't know. It didn't really look like anything at first, but after a few months, I could make out... eyes, maybe. I don't know. But I know it was really big, and I couldn't run away from it no matter how fast I could."

I didn't notice it at first, but the light from Eddie's phone was shaking.

"Then the dreams started going in a different direction. I don't know why. But it was always down the river, and it always ended with me getting taken by whatever it was. I'd wake up after that, but I couldn't sleep again, and I didn't want to tell anyone, because I don't wanna go see a doctor. It's not that serious."

He had his back turned to me right now, so it was harder for me to gauge what's on his mind right now. But from what he said, he was downright terrified. I could imagine. Waking up from those nightmares, then being sleep-deprived about it. I went back to those times he was sluggish, where he spaced out at weird times. He never told us. And maybe it was just me going to conclusions, but I think it got worse because Ashley died, considering the fact that he mentioned the river. I was about to place a hand on my shoulder again when he spoke up.

"Then I started seeing it while I was awake."

I tried to digest what he said. Then it sunk in and I was at a loss.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I keep seeing it while I'm awake, Zoe. I know how it sounds, but trust me. I'm wide awake and completely sober, but I keep seeing this thing all around."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey, hey. I believe you. Now, where do you see it usually?"

"By the river, or the lake, or by Alpenglow that one time we went there. It's always by the woods. I even saw it when we were hanging out."

That last sentence made my blood run cold. I hardly believed what he said, but the thought that he was seeing this thing while we were talking was scary to think about. I looked behind me just to ease my worries.

"Then, when I was dreaming, I could tell it wanted me to do something," Eddie said. "And it being around was its way for me to do it."

"What did it want from you?" I asked.

Eddie went silent. Then his flashlight turned to the right for a split-second. Then he said, "I don't know."

I let the whole thing sink in all over again, but it didn't. Eddie told me about his nightmares, and he maybe was having hallucinations, and this was before Ashley died, so it probably could've been so much worse. I knew Eddie didn't want me to make him, but he really should go see the doctor. I was scared for him now, and there was nothing I could do other than that.

"Hey, Eddie, I appreciate you telling me this. I know you don't wanna tell anyone about this, but you didn't so--"

Eddie stopped and put out his arm out, making me stop as well. I was going to ask him what was wrong when I noticed in front of me, quite far away, was the diner and the road. There was a huge tree-filled gap that was between us and it. I looked down and realized we were on a cliff.

Eddie turned to me, his face sad all over again. "I told Ashley."

I stared back at him, confused at first, but then it sunk in. He told Ashley about this. I was relieved--happy even, that he told someone about this, but then I remembered he told this to Ashley. She might have been reckless and adventurous, but she prioritized our health and well-being. And she had a way of getting us the help that we need. Why didn't she do it this time?

I did my best not to let him show what was going through my head. "How'd she react?"

Eddie's gaze fell to the ground. His hands were shaking again. Then he closed his eyes and muttered, "You have to know."

"Know what?"

His eyes opened and looked at me in shock. I guessed I wasn't supposed to hear that. He looked away, muttering something under his breath this time. Then he nodded to himself and looked at me. "I--she wanted me to see the doctor, but I managed to convince her. And then... and then I showed her."

There was something about what he said that didn't sit right with me. "Showed her? What are you talking about?"

He flinched, as if I was going to hit him. "Look, I kept seeing it by the window, all right? I saw it there earlier. It wanted something from me, and I don't know what it was. Every night, I kept seeing it outside my window. I had to do something or else it's not going to go away. At least for a little while. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" I tried to look him in the eye, but he avoided it. "Eddie, why are you apologizing?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears threatening to come out of his face. I was left to digest what he just said. I kept thinking about it, coming at it with different angles, but no matter how I looked at it, it almost all lead to the same answer. I didn't want that to be true, but at the moment, with what he said, and with how he wouldn't look at me, it seemed like there was no other way to look at it.

"Eddie," I said. "What did you do?"

His hands balled into fists. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Before I could answer, he grabbed my shoulders. Then, he twisted his body around and used the momentum to throw me off, putting all of his weight into it. Instinct took over me and I grabbed his sleeves with both hands with an iron grip. As I felt the sensation of falling, I pulled on Eddie's sleeve to balance myself. But he fell forward.

Then we fell down the cliff.

In an instant, my shoulders grazed some rocks, and before I knew it, I was rolling down. Rocks and dirt and roots were hitting and scraping every part of me, yet I couldn't feel the pain. Then it stopped, and I was lying face first to the ground. The pain was settling in at this point. I could feel cuts and bruises all over my body. But the worst part was a throbbing on my left shoulder. It was probably dislocated; I was sure of it. Groaning, I pushed myself off of the ground. I turn around to sit and to see Eddie doing the same. He looked around and he saw me. His eyes widened, and he tried to get up on his feet.

"Zoe, I--"

The moment he put some pressure on his leg, he screamed in pain and collapsed to the ground, gripping his leg. I got up and was about to go over to him, but I stopped. We wouldn't have been down the cliff, severely injured if he didn't try to shove me off the cliff. He tried to kill me. All because he was seeing this thing that might not even be real. The conversation we had earlier sunk in. He did the same to Ashley, too. All of this, everything that had happened for the past month, was because of him.

"You... you fucker!" I growled.

Eddie looked up at me, trying to get on his feet. "Zoe, I'm sorry. Please help me. I don't have time to explain, I--"

His head snapped in the direction above him. I looked in the same direction. I couldn't see anything, but I did hear the rustling of the leaves. But it wasn't the wind. I began backing away, and that was when I saw something come into view, and my blood ran cold.

There was something in the trees. It looked like a person, but it was too large and too skinny. Its body looked like a tree, but those who have dried up a long time ago. It made its way along the trees, moving like a spider as it did. But it wasn't moving properly. It was too twitchy, like a video that wasn't working properly. For a brief second, I saw what should've been its face, and it had no eyes.

It slowly went down to Eddie, and the bat looked at me. The look in his eyes was haunting. They told me that Eddie knew he was going to die, but there was still a slim chance that he could avoid it. I was too frozen in place. I didn't know what to do. The thing turned to me. Then an image went into my head. I didn't know if it was real or if it was something I thought up, but in my head flashed Ashley in a similar position. In front of that thing, struggling to get away, looking at Eddie for help. Only Eddie wasn't nearby. He was nowhere near her, like how I was near him. Ashley was dead, and it was because of Eddie.

Eddie continued calling out to me. Crying out. Pleading. But the image was still stuck in my head and fear was choking me at this point. Tears flowing down my face as I took a step back. And then another. Then I turned around and ran away. Eddie kept calling out to me, and I did my best to ignore it. Behind me, branches snapped and then I heard Eddie scream. A chilling, bloodcurdling scream. It was enough to break me, but I still continued running on and on, and slowly, Eddie's screams faded into the darkness.

***

Eddie's body was found by the lake a week later. His body was in the same state as Ashley's, horrifyingly mangled and bloody. Now that I think about it, it was eerily similar to what happened with Ashley. Eddie went missing, his parents panicking, and then, when he was found, I had to hear his family cry like Eddie and I did with Ashley.

The days before his funeral were the same too. I was just sitting around, processing all of this, and everyone around me was comforting me, saying they were sorry for my loss and that they were there if I needed any help. Only this time, they were really sorry that it happened again and that I was there when Eddie died. Like he did with Ashley.

I was still trying to wrap my head around it as well as think about it. Eddie killed Ashley. I had mixed feelings about it, but--and it was really odd to say, considering the situation--I understand why he did it. Whatever I saw back there, it would've scared the hell out of me too if I saw it every day. But still, he didn't have to kill her.

I guess I wasn't one to talk because of what I did. I didn't mean to do it, but I ran away. There was nothing I could've done if I went there. I could've died. I would've died if I tried to help. There was nothing I could do. But part of me didn't run away for my own survival, and it kept me up for countless hours for the past few weeks.

"He killed Ashley," I kept telling myself, but it slowly lost its meaning over time.

Eddie's funeral was held a week after the wake. His whole family was there, and I felt like the odd one out, for more reasons than one. There was this feeling of obligation to be at the funeral, and it hurt to think about that. As the funeral went on, my mind wandered. The priest's prayers went on the back of my head, and I couldn't bring myself to look at Eddie's casket. My gaze wandered off to the other graves, then to the forest that was in the distance.

That was when I saw it.

By the trees, there was a spider-like thing that was blended very well in the surroundings. I then noticed some of the branches bent unnaturally. Only its head was fully visible. There were no eyes, but I could tell it was staring at me.

I looked away and turned to Eddie's casket, doing my best to ignore it throughout the funeral.