[Breast Cancer Awareness Month] Lily's Ribbon pt. 1
Lily sat on her college dorm room bed. It was the day after her mother's funeral and she still didn't want to go to classes. The professors understood for the most part, most of them also having been touched by breast cancer in their families. As much as the giant panda did not like just sitting around and mopping, she found that she could not muster up the energy to move either.
Her friends had been stopping by saying their condolences or bringing her food, but none of them really cheered her up. None of them could, after all, bring back the mother she loved and missed so much.
She fell back on to her bed, remembering the days before her mother died. They had all been in that cold and dank hospital room, filled with beeps, blips and flashes. It was the least intimate setting ever, yet Lily found her mind rewinding the moments over and over again so she wouldn't lose them. Her mother had taught her how to hold her panda body with pride and love herself for who she was, not necessarily what people thought of how she looked. There was no other woman stronger than her mother, and the loss of that was tearing her family to shreds, worse than grandpa's death a few years ago.
As such, she was afraid to stay at home and grieve because her father had turned to drinking and the rest of her family was in denial that it had even happened; her aunt Caroline had called the day before to ask her if she would need a ride to hospital next Saturday since her father would be working. Her sister was too young to understand and had all of her middle school friends to keep her mind occupied. She was, essentially, alone in this process, even her roommate didn't know what to do or say around her after last night.
Tears dripped out of her eyes and made her black fur mat together under her eyes. She sniffled lightly, grabbing one of her pillows and snuggling it tightly against her chest. Her mind derailed from her grievances for a moment as she held the pillow tighter and tighter. She had always been disappointed in her breast size, her small A-cups barely being noticeable without the assistance of a push up bra. Now, though, she just hated them, how could something that was supposed to be so alluring and nurturing could bring death, and consequently, such a great amount of sadness.
Suddenly her computer beeped, making a sound that reminded her of that hospital room. She really need to change her e-mail alert sound. Or perhaps just turn it off all together. She sighed as she sat up, releasing the pillow and wiping her eyes with her paws. She looked over at the machine with disdain and cursed under her breath as she stood up and walked over to her desk.
The alert kept blinking, just like the heart monitor. Steady flashing every second, a sign of life. She rolled her mouse over it, the blinking stop, the life leaving it. She ground her teeth at the thought and regretfully clicked the e-mail open.
"Good Afternoon Lily,
I know this is a rough time for you, but I felt this was worth the share. As I was researching the artifacts from that ancient reptilian culture dig from a few months ago, I came across this symbol that I'm having a hard time figuring out the meaning of. I know how much you enjoy getting your paws dirty like this, so I hope, if you are up to it, that you can stop by and look at the whole tablet. I sent you the single symbol that's giving me trouble.
Sincerely
Prof. Sambda Smith :)"
Lily smiled lightly at the e-mail. She did so love archeology and hoped to one day study more closely under Professor S. She clicked open the attachment and tapped her digit as it downloaded. Once her screen flashed it open she saw a beautifully crafted ancient tribal illustration that resembled a ribbon, carved in stark relief on the jade that the ancient reptiles had been so fond of. She imported it to her image editor and highlighted all of the markings, which were currently filled in with a black lacquer.
She played around with various shades, trying to find the one that best suited her mother's vibrant and strong personality and eventually settled on the pink that was only a tad brighter than the color associated with the fight against breast cancer. She smiled fondly at it, unsure of why she did it.
Then it hit her, tomorrow she would go and get it tattooed onto her left breast. A memoir of sorts. One that combined both the personality of her mother and a love of hers. She printed off the image before flipping off her monitor and going back to her bed, feeling much better than she had all week. She snuggled up under her blankets and up against the body pillow, drifting to sleep with not only tears in her eyes, but also a slight smile on her face.
~~~`~
Lily woke up early the next morning, feeling more rested than she had in days. No nightmares or memories had haunted her through the stormy night. She glanced out her window and noticed that the inevitable mist from such a storm was still lingering, but the were a few people walking around as the morning sun began to shine through the autumn colored trees. The warm colors creating a cozy feeling over the scenery of Ohio University campus.
She glanced at the clock which told her it was about ten in the morning. She looked outside the window again and noted that it was awfully quiet outside, even for a Saturday. She shrugged her shoulders and blinked, not letting it bother her. This would be the start of a new life and she didn't plan on letting things get her down so easily.
She got up from her bed and went into her bathroom. She grabbed her brush and began to stroke it through her black and white fur. She glanced into the mirror, her green eyes still not a bright as they used to be. She tried to smile lightly and remind herself that this would be a process and it all wouldn't happen at once.
She laid the brush down, her ears twitching to lay her fur back to normal. She walked out of the bathroom and put on a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. She grabbed the image and folded it neatly, placing it into her back pocket, before grabbing one of her granola bars and going out the door.
As she traveled across campus to the bus stop she saw a few people from her classes. Each one of them whispered their condolences without making eye contact. She said thank you to them, the lack of names and faces making just a whirlwind of comments in her head. She was grateful when she finally got on the bus and left the campus. She leaned back against the seat and let a deep breath out, opening the wrapper of her make-shift breakfast and beginning to munch on it.
As they approached the middle of downtown, Lily pulled the cord to signify a stop, a ding resonating through the near empty bus. The driver skillfully moved the bus over to the curb, the breaks letting out air as they were compressed. The panda stood up and walked towards the front, thanking the driver before stepping off.
She looked around, gaining her directional sense. There was a particular tattoo shop that she wanted to go to, one that many of the kids at school went to. She knew it was down one of the side streets near here, but for some reason couldn't remember exactly which one. Perhaps it was because downtown looked so different when it was so empty.
She turned to her right and began to walk down the sidewalk. She looked at the shops and remembered her mother and her exploring when Lily had first arrived. She solemnly grinned before looking down and picking up her pace, turning down the first street she came across.
She glanced up and saw a colorful store front covered in dragons, ancient symbols, and tribal art. She looked at the sign above the door.
"Serpent's Venom Ink," she read. A small shiver went down her back as she said it. She took a deep breath in and put her paw on the door, turning the knob slowly. As she pushed the door open there was a the small ding of a bell, making her jump slightly. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea, she thought.
"Welcome," a smooth voice said from the back of the store. "Can I help you?"
Lily let out a little squeak at the sight of the figure coming towards her. She had never seen a full snake man like the one that was now coming towards her. Her mouth dropped open a slightly as he gracefully slithered across the tiled floor.
"How can I help you thissss morning?"
"Well, um, I mean I want, you see," she said, hands shaking as she reached behind her and pulled out the image she had printed off. "This."
The snake-man looked at the picture, a small glimmer in his eyes. "Thisss we can sscertainly work with. I am Zsir, your tattoo artistss."
He turned and walked to the side, leading her to a chair. There were lots of colors and wires on the table next to it. Lily swallowed hard as his hand beckoned her to the chair. She sat down and looked at the far side of the room, avoiding eye contact with him just like the people on campus had with her.
"Ssso, where do you want thisss-" he trailed off, as if searching for a name.
"Lily. And I would like it on my left breast please," she said shortly. I'm only doing this for mom, she reminded herself. "Just over my heart."
"Ssoundss perfect, Lily. Just take off your shirt," his now melodic voice making her relax into the chair as her shirt laid on her lap, "and just listen to my voicss."
She was aware of a slight buzzing as he started, but mostly she was completely wrapped up in the song that he began to sing. Her eyes soon closed and the words he hummed and hissed to her completely enveloped her mind. Images of better times with her mother popped up into her head and she could see her mother's mouth moving in the form of the words.
"I love you mom," she whispered before completely drifting off to the sound of Zsir's tools and voice.