Go Fuck Yourself
The weird places my mind goes sometimes. Just a quickie with a dumb but amusing plot. I suppose it expands a bit on my Ditto headlore, but really it's mostly just about knocking something out that's simple and to the point.
OBLIGATORY CONTENT WARNING: This story contains sexual acts between two males, transformation, clone sex, and convenient absurd literalism rules lawyering.
Urusu wasn't what one would think of when they imagined a typical Gabite. The sharkdragon Pokémon line was known for ferocity and temperamentalness, being a difficult kind of mon that only experienced trainers should attempt to raise. Urusu was nothing like that - he was calm, patient, even-keeled, and averse to fighting. That didn't mean he couldn't hold his own in a scrap, but he preferred to try to resolve conflicts as much as he could before it came to that.
He wasn't a trained mon, and didn't want to be - he preferred the wild, living on his own and generally keeping a peaceful life. While many of his kind went for the desert, he liked things a little greener than that. He'd set up a den that was close to, but not in a desert, a mound in a lightly wooded field nearby that served as a perfect place to eat and sleep and shelter from the rain. The other Pokémon living in the area had been nervous when he'd first shown up, but by now everyone was familiar with him and the way he was, and he was good friends with most everyone around. Of course, Pokémon passing through the area might not have been so at ease, so he still tried to put forth a friendlier face when he saw a face he didn't recognize.
This morning, Urusu was exiting his den, stretching and yawning, his toothy maw opening wide in a gesture that looked a lot more dangerous than it really was. He didn't have any real plans for the day, but he wanted to go to his berry tree and nosh a bit, then go wander around and hang out with some of the Pokémon nearby, see if they were doing any games of any sort. There was a temptation to go to the desert side of things, too, it had been a bit since he was last there and he'd heard they were trying to get some more organized activities going on over there - it may not have been where he wanted to live, but he was still well-suited for the desert and enjoyed visiting and making friends there as well.
But all his plans seemed to get shunted aside when he saw it. A Liepard. Laying under his berry tree. Chewing on HIS berries. This is a matter that couldn't be ignored.
One might have been surprised that Urusu would be so territorial about a berry tree. It was far from the only one around, even the only one of its kind - it was a special berry tree that grow and dropped a variety of berries rather than just one kind, a strain that was from overseas somewhere that some humans had gotten to planting around - and one would have thought he could just go elsewhere. But to Urusu, this tree mattered very much to him - when he'd first moved in, it was sickly and unproductive, looking like it was about to die. Urusu had taken a lot of time to purify the contaminated soil underneath the tree, and to carefully nurse the tree back to health with some assistance from a few Grass-types in the area, with the payoff being a tree that looked as healthy as any and produced a relatively rich amount of fruit. And all that he asked was that others leave it be and let it be his own tree, for one very specific reason: he couldn't climb. His mono-digital fins were anti-adapted for clinging and climbing, which meant getting berries from trees was a challenge. He didn't like hitting the trees, because that could damage them and damaged trees would be less fruitful. For the most part, his only option was asking someone else to get him berries, or collecting berries that had dropped on the ground. Having his own tree to himself meant that those berries would ripen and fall of their own volition, and he could gather them up and eat them or bring them to his den to keep for later, without having to constantly be bothering others. Of course, he wasn't stingy, he would share his gatherings if it was desired, but just the ability to collect on his own and be self-sufficient was important to him.
And now here was this Liepard, a face he'd never seen around before, lounging under the tree like he owned it, and taking what he'd been looking to eat. And that had Urusu upset...most mons were fairly respectful of boundaries, and even ones who were strangers attended to the scents nearby. The Leopard couldn't have missed the strong scent of Gabite against the tree, a territorial claim that was beyond doubt. Which meant this was a deliberate violation. But he still tried to approach calmly - he didn't want this to be a violent confrontation if it didn't have to be.
"Excuse me. This is my tree."
The Liepard looked at Urusu smugly. "Oh? Then make me get away."
Oh, that was not a good start. Urusu took a deep breath. "I spent months bringing this tree back to health, and years looking after it. It's the closest tree to my den and the easiest for me to get to. Everyone leaves it alone so that I can collect the berries that drop, since I can't climb. All I want is for you to respect that."
"That's a lot of words and not a lot of action. Seems to me you can't be that invested in it if you aren't gonna fight me for it."
"...I shouldn't have to fight you for this. You know this is my territory. Pokémon are supposed to respect that."
"Well, I don't care. I decided I want this tree to be mine. It's in great shape and there's so many juicy berries, I can scarcely imagine the feast I could have. And all without having to do any of the work, even better. Sucks to be you if you can't climb, guess you'll just have to go eat dirt like I know your kind can. Unless you wanna fight me to get me away from it."
He could eat dirt, that was very true, but that didn't mean Urusu didn't prefer berries when he could get them. And the repeated insistence on a fight was starting to grate on him. "Why are you so pushy for a fight with me? There's any number of Pokémon around who would be happy to fight you, all you'd have to do is go up to them and ask. Why are you trying to sit here and provoke me instead?"
The Liepard grinned wider than ever. "Oh, it's quite simple. I heard tell through the grapevine that around here was a pussy Gabite who didn't like fighting. And I thought, wouldn't it be great if I could just move in and impose my will on a little bitch dragon who won't raise a claw against me to drive me away? I could do whatever I wanted and you wouldn't even try to stop me. So that's what I'm doing. This tree is mine, that den is mine, and soon you'll be mine. Unless, of course, you decided to mon up and try to prove yourself, and stopped trying to pretend to be all soft and cuddly when you know you're a flesh-ripping destroyer."
Now Urusu was catching on, and it was not good. The Liepard was one of those who didn't like mons who went against type...it wasn't just rudeness, this was outright malevolence. He had what he thought was a win-win scenario - either Urusu wouldn't pick a fight and he could impose his will on the Gabite at his leisure, or Urusu would stand his ground and battle, and then he'd do everything he could to make sure it was as rough and savage as he could, in the hopes that he'd leave other mons in the area with the impression that Urusu wasn't the gentle and calm dragon that he claimed to be - and once he'd been driven off, the Liepard would be able to swoop in and take up the space, likely with the sympathy of the others. And Urusu wasn't entirely sure he could prevent that from happening, Dark-types were extremely good at poking emotional vulnerabilities...he would of course defend himself by saying the Liepard was an invader, and they might even accept that, but the nastier the battle got, the more they would be looking at him uncertainly, wondering if he was really hiding a dark side.
One thing was for sure...he wasn't going to take this lying down. If there was no other way but to fight, he would do his best to fight clean and fight calm. The Liepard didn't look particularly like a powerhouse, he might have been sneaky and underhanded but in terms of raw power Urusu felt confident he had the edge. But he still wanted to try to not give the Liepard the satisfaction. One more attempt to parley, at least... "Is there anything I can do that will get you to leave my territory and leave me alone without resorting to violence?"
The Liepard laughed out loud. "Sure. You can go fuck yourself. Try coming back when you have a spine, bitch dragon."
"...Okay." With that, Urusu turned around and marched right off into the forest. It was an oddly calm and confident response, which left the Liepard with confusion on his face, but he made no move to get away from the tree. Urusu expected that either he thought he'd won or he thought Urusu was coming with reinforcements, which would still probably be a win in the Liepard's eyes. But Urusu had other ideas...
A ways into the woods, Urusu found what he was looking for. Or rather, who.
"You want me to what?"
"I want you to turn into a perfect clone of me."
"And you want me to do this why?"
"So I can fuck you."
The pink gelatinous blob gave as much of a skeptical expression as a pink gelatinous blob could. "Dare I ask why the first answer is a requirement for the second? Most Pokémon aren't after something like that. Most would find it, as a matter of fact, kinda weird."
"Twami, I don't really have a ton of time to explain right now," replied Urusu, calmly but with a sense of urgency. "But it's really very important that you turn into me exactly. I know you can do it, I've heard you talking about 'clone transformation' before. And on your end, it really wouldn't typically make that much difference to you, right? You get a meal no matter what you turn into."
That didn't make Twami seem any less dubious. But... "...Eh, what the hell. It's still not the weirdest request I've ever had, and you're right, it's a meal either way. But you owe me an explanation later, because it's still way out of line from what I'd expect from you."
"I promise I'll come back tomorrow and tell you all about it. Thanks, Twami."
"I'll be holding you to that. All right, then." The form of the Ditto touched Urusu for a second, then backed off as it began to glow and shift, twisting and turning into the shape of a Gabite. But it wasn't just any Gabite - as the glow receded, it was clear that Twami had become the spitting image of Urusu, right down to the most minute details. Were anyone to look at the two of them, they wouldn't be able to tell them apart unless they paid attention to how they acted - about the only thing that Twami couldn't copy was Urusu's personality, though he could at least try to imitate. But that wasn't necessary here.
"Wow...that's amazing! It really does look just like me!"
"It'd better, since I'm doing a pretty deep dive into your genes to get this level of match," remarked Twami. "Cloning is tougher than normal, but doing it right should always give the proper results."
"I guess so...wow, do I really sound like that?" Urusu couldn't see a difference, but there was a definite disparity in how he sounded...or at least that was what he thought.
"You think it sounds different because you only hear yourself through yourself. To anyone else, I sound exactly the same. Now c'mon, I'm ready and you have something to do." Twami turned around and laid back on the ground, grinning as he spread his legs invitingly. It was definitely weird to Urusu to see...well, himself, coming on to him. But he couldn't lie, he liked the way he looked. A healthy Gabite, fit, maybe not the largest specimen but at least average sized, with the lean tone of feral muscle all the way down. And Twami made it look even sexier with that coy expression, the perfectly-positioned body with the experience of a thousand ruts...he was pretty sure a Ditto could make anything look sexy, but Urusu couldn't help but think that he'd given Twami a pretty darn good canvas.
And it was doing the trick for him, too, as he felt his arousal tick up as he stepped up to Twami. Slipping from Urusu's slit was a pair of pointed, bulging dicks, studded with fleshy spikes along the surface in rows along the top, bottom, and sides. They looked pretty big on him, and he felt a bit of pride in that - he certainly got good responses whenever he used them on someone, which wasn't terribly often but he wasn't at risk of going into a rut frenzy from lack of sex. Truthfully, Urusu was a bit more familiar with taking than giving, but he was pretty comfortable either way. A good thing, because technically at the moment he was doing both...
Twami purred a bit as he watched Urusu line up, his own cocks pushing out to complete the mirror image. "Surprised you don't get more mons lusting after you, you look like you're a fine stud for a mid-sizer."
"I think once people get to know me they like embracing the more cuddly side."
"You're about as cuddly as a roll of sandpaper, though."
"Only if you rub me wrong. Besides, you'll like it here..." Urusu leaned onto Twami more and started to grind his body against the clone's. That got a case out of Twami, and Urusu knew fully why as he was feeling much the same thing - a fierce abrasive sensation that was absolutely fantastic, his scales a perfect mesh for Twami's to provide the maximum roughness.
"Fuck! That's so good...damn, I've gotta play around with more forms." Twami was pushing into Urusu, murring and arching his head back. "Nggaaah..."
"Are you really getting that zonked by me?" teased Urusu, licking the clone-Gabite's neck. "I haven't even put it in yet...you get at least a load a day, am I just that good?"
"H-hey, check the ego, buster..." puffed Twami. "Every transformation...is like a brand new creature...so it's, ah...like being a virgin every single time. So extremely, ah, sensitive, and a, ah, brain that isn't...as prepared for it as you'd think..."
"Ah, never knew that. No wonder you guys like sex so much if you can transform and get that 'first time' experience all over again...but with actually knowing what you're doing each time."
"You said it. Mmph, c'mon, I wanna feel those cocks rutting me while you're grinding against my body...give it all to me!"
"Hrrr, if that's what you want." Urusu leaned up and worked his fin claw against his cocks, trying to wedge them together and push them inside a little bit. It was quite the tight fit - though Urusu kind of expected that given that it was in an 'unused' state, given what Twami had told him - but he was able to work the two together and lodge the first inch inside Twami, the clone-Gabite giving off pleasured growls at the feeling of being spread open. It took a bit, but once Urusu was ready, he didn't hold anything back, showing himself in to the hilt, two blissful snarls ringing out as their bodies came together properly. "Ffffuck...you really ARE like a brand-new body, aren't you?"
"Oooh...there's NOTHING like that first stretch..." Twami was shuddering a little bit in raw ecstasy. "I feel bad for all of you that only get to feel that once..."
"I think we'll survive somehow. Mmph, now, let's give you the best I have to offer." Urusu shifted again, lowering himself down once more and working his fins under Twami, making plenty of contact with him as he started to rock in and out. His toes burrowed a bit into the soil as he thrust hard and fast, his spiked cocks raking against the clone-Gabite's inner walls. The roughness of the fucking was rapidly amplified by the friction of Urusu's dicks and the grainy precum that spurted inside; said roughness was definitely an asset, though, Urusu knew full well that that felt amazing when it was him taking it, the roughness of a Ground-type was divinely stimulating when one was also a Ground-type.
Clearly, Twami was enjoying every bit of it, as the yowling cries made obvious. His limbs wrapped around Urusu, pulling the Gabite closer to him to get more of that rough scaly body rubbing against him, especially his own leaky twins that were spurting pre in between their bodies. The scent of lusty, earthy, thick dragon musky sex was clouding the air between them, ramping up their lusts to the max as Urusu's loins crashed against Twami, sloppy slurps echoing through the trees.
"Aahhh...d-damn, you...really are good!" gasped out Twami as he jetted another dual gusher of precum with the jabbing of his prostate. "Gah, they're, ngh, missing out if they want it, fff, gentle from you!"
"I can be pretty good at taking it easy, too, I think," chuckled Urusu breathlessly. He lowered his head to lick and nibble at Twami's neck and shoulder, adding another dimension of sensation to the clone-Gabite's experience. Everything felt fantastic for him, too, the stellar friction between their bodies aided by the grainy warmth of Twami's pre, the clenching tightness of that dragon ass around him making his spikes flex and twist, the scent of sandy lust in the air around them, the amorous purrs and moans and growls coming from his partner...this might have actually been one of the more exciting encounters he'd had period, even if it risked sounding a tad narcissistic. Then again, perhaps it was only natural - one of the perks of being a dragon was that you were far more sensitive to your own type than other mons, and there weren't many other dragons around to play with.
One of the consequences of that, though, was that he wasn't going to last as long...the feeling of impending climax was coming on so soon, sooner than he would have liked, but too furiously to be staved off for long. Twami didn't seem to be far away, either, the way his voice was climbing higher and his body was writhing around underneath Urusu...well, if it was going to have to end soon, he was going to give it everything he had to make it worth it. Urusu's grip tightened on Twami and he laid into the clone-Gabite, channeling a touch of his Dragon Rush into it - a rush of energy that would easily amplify everything Twami felt a few times over, as well as loosening his body to buck with all the fervor he could muster, his hips almost a blur, tail thrashing around to try to push him harder into Twami's tailhole, savagely sawing those spikes along that taut flesh.
But the trigger that did it was one that Urusu wasn't expecting - as Twami his his climax, crying out loudly as his gushed his spunk from both cocks into that tight space between the Gabite bodies, his arms slipped off of Urusu's back and the clawed digits scratched long lines down his back, a sharp and raw bit of stimulus that shoved him off that precarious perch before his peak. He let out almost a screeching cry as he drove in and let loose a vigorous double-barreled deluge of dragon essence, flooding that tight passage with all the spurk it could hold and then some. He continued to grind against Twami as the two rode out their climactic rushes, grinding as much as they could against each other and spreading the mess that was made between the two of them.
It took a good bit for the two of them to settle down, the shakiness in their bodies evident as the bliss slowly ebbed away to a fatigued contentment. Heavy, ragged breaths rushed in and out of each of them, their chests rising and falling against each other as they took in gulps of air still tinged with healthy amounts of dragon musk. The miasma was actually a bit invigorating to them, helping them recover a little faster...eventually Urusu found it in him to stab his fin claws in the ground and push upwards, pulling himself out of Twami and then flopping over onto his butt to settle himself down. "Phew...that was...more of a rush than I thought it would be, even..."
"Same..." Twami was still laying on his back on the ground, very clearly in no rush to shed the dragon's form. "Nn...most folks don't think it's sexy to, ah, fuck yourself...usually just find it weird."
"I think it has its perks...maybe that's just a Dragon-type thing, though." Urusu got to his feet, stretching a bit. "Oof, ah, yeah, sorry to fuck and run, but I've got something I need to take care of now."
"A'right, but don't forget, you owe me the backstory behind this!"
"Yep, I know! I'll be back tomorrow with it!" Urusu headed off, walking off the wobbliness in his legs. Hopefully it would all go well enough that it would just be a funny story by tomorrow...though perhaps if the mood was right, he could think about a repeat performance. Maybe he was more into this than he thought.
The look of confusion on the Liepard's face when Urusu returned marred the smugness he wanted to show off. He couldn't have expected to see two dripping cocks or smears of gritty, off-color spunk on Urusu's stomach in front of him as a response to anything that had been going on. "I'm surprised a pussy like you could even work up the nerve to top. But if you think I'm interested, the answer is no. I want to see your bloodlust, not your other lust."
Urusu didn't react to the jibes. "I did what you asked. Now you can go."
"...What on Arceus's green earth are you on? I didn't ask you for anything. I told you I wanted to see you fight me to get me away from your precious tree."
Urusu shook his head. "Not true. I asked what I could do to get you to leave without violence."
"What...wait..." The Liepard's eyes widened. "You...you cannot be serious."
"You said I could go fuck myself. So I did. Now you hold up your end of the bargain."
"That's not...that can't even...that was just...I was blowing you off! That wasn't an...that wasn't a deal!"
"You said 'sure, you can go fuck yourself.' Sounds like a deal to me. And I know you can smell me well enough to know that you can clearly smell my ass on my dicks."
"How...that..." The Liepard's scowl was deepening; he clearly did not have a good response for that. And how could he? The scents were too clear, and a cat's nose was undoubtedly better than Urusu's own. "What kind of nutso freak are you? Why would you even think about doing something like that?! Why would you think that was something I would WANT?"
"You said it. You didn't take it back when I agreed to it. And now you have to go." Urusu was grinning now. The Liepard never could have foreseen something like this...Urusu knew full well that wasn't an actual request, but taking it like one had thrown the cat off completely. And since he'd done his part, that was a deal made and agreed upon - and there were consequences for not living up to it. Contracts had power among Pokémon - they didn't have paper, they only had their word to go on, so trust was paramount, and everyone knew there was a subtle power among them that helped ensure that deals were kept. Someone who reneged on an agreed-on deal, it marked them - not in a way that was visible, but in a way that could be felt deep within - a label of untrustworthiness that would leave them suspicious in the eyes of just about all Pokémon other than other contract breakers. And now the Liepard was facing a lose-lose decision - honor the unexpected agreement and leave Urusu alone, or try to keep himself there and find himself facing enough hostility from others that he'd never knew the luxurious peace and comfort he thought he'd be able to wheedle out of this.
And as the Liepard rose, it was clear he was taking the option that gave him a chance somewhere else. "Fucker. You should have just fought me. You look like a wuss and a coward doing it this way."
"I think you don't have any need for my berries - you're carrying enough sour grapes already." Urusu gave a cheeky wave, which was met by a rude gesture from the Liepard before the cat strutted off, trying to look dignified but to Urusu looking more petulant and sulky than anything. He'd probably try to connive his way into something else in time, but it would be unlikely he'd find any situation with as much of an opening as this, and Urusu knew the Liepard knew it.
But, he no longer cared. He'd gotten out of it, without having to rise to the bait. And while the Liepard had definitely munched a few berries off the ground, there were still a couple around that he could stab with a claw and nom on. He leaned back against his berry tree, finally able to properly relax, his cocks retreating back into his slit. Despite the little flap, it was turning out to be another good day - and he'd have a great response ready the next time someone said those three magic words.