FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"...I just don't know how she puts up with him..."

"...You should definitely check it out, it's a ton of fun..."

"...My boss would kill me if I tried to pull something like that..."

Shirota just kept his head down, his hands in his lap, beneath the table, idly scrolling on his phone. Listening to the more interesting conversations happening in the diner around him didn't make the silence across from him any more bearable.

To be fair, his fiancée looked to be just as off-put as he was, even if she didn't show it. She was a cute, gray little chinchilla, almost like a stuffed animal, dressed up in her frilly pink dress and strappy flats. She sipped daintily from her drink, but didn't say anything to break the silence. Shirota only glanced up at her in case she did, but then let his eyes drop, his expression neutral. People around them must have thought they were quite the pair, a little thing like her sitting across from a big chubby bear like him? They would have been especially shocked when they saw the ring on her finger, with a real diamond and everything.

Shirota wondered if others thought they were in a fight, given how quiet they were and how they weren't making eye contact. But in truth, this was how most of their relationship had gone.They had met two months ago, the arrangement made by his mother. They met at his parents' house, with his parents' supervision. He talked with her on that old bridge about work and their hopes for the future: he wanted a wife, and she wanted a husband. They both liked kids. She liked painting. He liked sewing. He proposed to her on the third date, in the park, and she had accepted. This would be the tenth time he'd seen her. It seemed like she was always there, and yet he never knew what to say to her.

"I was thinking of doing a sort of ribbon theme for the wedding," she said suddenly, her voice quiet and soft. He looked at her, and she could barely look at him. She seemed fragile, somehow. "You said you were okay with pink and champagne as the wedding colors, but... Would ribbons be too girly for you?" she asked.

It sounded terribly cute. "I love it," he answered. She seemed surprised, but pleased. With a nod, she went back to her drink.

His colleagues and old classmates were married. His best friend was having his second child. Their pictures were all over social media. Happy, fulfilled, surrounded by loved ones. Shirota was thirty-four, an equipment technician at a steel mill, and still living with his parents, partly to shore up his savings account, and partly because he knew he couldn't be all alone, living in some apartment in Tokyo with no one to talk to each day. It was time for him to get serious about his life, and the pool of eligible partners was dwindling fast. He knew he had to settle. He had to make this work.

"You know, I'm not one of those guys who can't handle anything girly," he told her in a cordial tone, even offering a warm smile. "I think something softer, and more romantic sounds great," he reassured her.

She offered a smile and another nod, but he could see that it was forced a bit. He could practically hear what she was thinking, wondering what he meant by that, if he had some weird fetish or something that she wouldn't find out about until after the wedding. He would have tried to say something to reassure her that he really just liked cute things, but he had a feeling he'd already opened his mouth too much.

He looked back down to his phone. He needed to get off social media. The other pictures of his happy friends were drowning him. He knew he should stop looking at his phone. He should be present, in the moment, with his fiancée. But he knew it was no use. He didn't love her. He wasn't even sure how much he liked her, and it didn't seem like she liked him. She definitely didn't understand him. It was a silly complaint, and yet, sitting at that table, Shirota didn't feel any less alone than he did before he met her.

He clicked on the dating app he'd downloaded after he'd proposed. He knew he definitely shouldn't be looking at this. His fiancée was sitting right across from him. But he couldn't help it. He wanted to know what he was missing.

He had plenty of matches. That alone should have been a confidence booster, yet when he scrolled through them... they all looked the same. Young, reasonably attractive women using photo tricks to try and look sexier than they were, flaunting their bodies without coming off too strongly. They weren't really his type. Shirota didn't want sexy; if anything, the thought of his wedding night had him paralyzed. And even if he did find one that stood out, he was certain it would be much of the same. She would be nice enough, unimpeachable, but there wouldn't be a connection. Without knowing him first, she would see his age and his job and his demeanor all as signs of security. She would be settling, just like his fiancée was. Just like he was.

He didn't want to settle though. He wished he could just tell his fiancée that he wasn't a creep, and that he didn't want her to hold back for his sake. He wanted to tell her what would make him happy, but would she even understand? The way she looked at him, and that red panda girl before her, and the girl before her... They didn't know how to handle him. They didn't know what to do with him.They saw a big, chubby man instead of the soft teddy bear he tried to be.

Nothing had been said for a while, but his fiancée didn't seem to mind. Shirota's app was set to "female." The slightest jolt of excitement and curiosity ran through him. What if... What if he changed it to "male?"

Shirota had always wondered, quietly, if he could be with a man. Or even if he preferred men. His latest attempts with women seemed to crash and burn so fast and so badly, it was hard not to wonder. But a man might understand his feelings better. A man wouldn't be intimidated by his size or build. Hell, they might even like him more for being "bara," he supposed...

What could be the harm? His eyes glued to the screen, he tapped the "male" symbol.

The matches came pouring in. But he was surprised to see one flashing at the top, glowing brightly, desperately trying to get his attention.

"One hundred twenty-percent match?" he thought to himself. "How is that even possible?"

But maybe there was something to it... After all, this hyena, Haida, looked kind of cute...

---

"Come on, man, pull yourself together," Fenneko's contralto voice pierced through Haida's fog. He registered the feeling of her hand on his back, but he felt no warmth, just the pressure.

"Easy for you to say," Haida complained, blubbering, his hand still wrapped around the base of his pint of beer on the bar. "I saw that sexy unicorn guy on Retsuko's lunchbox."

Fenneko cocked her head and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "...You know he's not real, right?"

She jumped when Haida slammed his fist on the table suddenly. "I know! How can I compete with that!? He's programmed to be the perfect man!"

Fenneko could only shake her head. "Look man, I know you don't want to hear this, but I don't think a sexy digital unicorn man is the reason Retsuko hasn't fallen for you yet," she said. Haida managed to stifle his sniffles and pick up his head enough to listen. "How long have you been crushing on her? Years? If she hasn't come around yet, why would she suddenly change her mind now? And even if she did, is that how you'd want things to be? Would you always wonder why it took her so long to like you like that?"

Haida sniffed and turned his head toward her, his eyes watery. "Weren't you the one saying that I shouldn't give up?"

Fenneko stared into her own drink for a moment before answering. "Yeah, I guess I did, but the more I think about it now..." She looked back at him with sympathy. "I'm not saying you should give up. Just... move on, you know? Don't you want to be with someone who wants to be with you too?"

"Like who?" Haida said flatly. "You?"

Fenneko frowned. "C'mon man, that's not funny."

Haida rolled his eyes. "Then who, Inui? I think I sunk that ship pretty bad. Even if I pulled my heart out to apologize to her, she'd know she'd always be second choice."

Fenneko sighed. "Are guys always this shortsighted?" she muttered to herself, sipping her drink. "You know, there are other people besides the ones at work. Tokyo's full of millions of 'em. You could at least give some of them a chance."

Haida scoffed. "Yeah, I'll just go up to random girls on the street and ask them out, like some pickup artist. I'm sure that'll go great," he said sarcastically.

Fenneko smacked Haida on the shoulder, her brow furrowed. "You're such a dumbass!" she berated him. "What about that app? The one Gori made? It's got Tadano's techno-wizard magic in it, right? There's gotta be some fish in that ocean."

Haida gave a forlorn sigh, staring off into space. "Yeah. Some magic alright," he said. "It said Retsuko and I were a one hundred-percent match. And here I am..."

Now it was Fenneko's turn to roll her eyes. "Algorithms aren't magic, you know. I'm sure a ninety-percent match would do just as good. C'mon, at least give it a shot before you wind up in the street with pneumonia again."

"I guess you've got a point," Haida replied. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up the app. As he was scrolling through, nothing seemed to catch his eye. Nothing was Retsuko.

Until he got a notification.

"Is that a new match?" Fenneko asked.

"Yeah..." Haida said. He clicked it, and both of their eyes widened when they saw the result.

"120% MATCH" the words read. And then there was the photo.

It was a big polar bear. A big male polar bear.

"Is that a dude!?" Fenneko blurted out.

"No!" Haida snapped. "I mean, yeah, but- I didn't, I mean-"

"Did you have your settings open to guys and girls?" Fenneko asked. "If you had told me you swung both ways, I could have made some recommendations a long time ago-"

"It's not like that, I swear!!!" Haida shouted. Some of the other patrons at the bar were starting to look his way, and Haida nervously stuffed his phone back into his pocket and finished his beer. "It must have been some kind of fluke..." he muttered.

Fenneko cocked her head. "A hundred twenty percent is an awfully big fluke. You know that's not even mathematically possible, right?"

Haida growled. "Which just means it's definitely a bug," he insisted. He stood up and grumbled, "I'm gonna go take a leak."

Fenneko just watched him go. "Yeah, a bug... You're probably right," she said, turning back to sip her drink again.

Haida decided to take a stall in the men's bathroom, at least so he wouldn't have to stand up. He had always been a lightweight, and he knew he just needed a minute to steady himself. But the longer he sat in silence with his thoughts, the more he felt his phone burning a hole in his pocket. He pulled it out again, looking both ways in the empty stall before opening up Gori's app again.

There he was. That polar bear. One hundred twenty-percent match.

"Shirota..." Haida said under his breath. It was a nice name for a polar bear. Haida wasn't interested, but he was curious how he managed to match so well with this guy. Maybe he was an office drone who loved punk rock and unrequited love too?

Perhaps against his better judgment, Haida decided to see what all the fuss was about. He accepted.

It wasn't long before Shirota messaged him.

"Hey there. How's your night going?"

"Doing okay. Sorry to disappoint though, but I'm not into guys."

Maybe Haida could have been more tactful, but his tact was the first thing to go when he was drunk, and he wanted to be up-front with this guy. He felt bad leading Inui on, but somehow he would have felt worse leading a gay guy on. But to Haida's surprise, he messaged back.

"Funny thing, but neither am I. I'm actually on a date with my fiancée right now. A woman."

"Yeah, that is kind of crazy. I wonder how we got matched up then?

"No idea."

There was a long moment of silence before Shirota messaged again.

"You got a girl yourself, Haida?"

"I wish. I've kind of had a crush on this one for a long time, but she's not into me."

"That sounds rough."

"You said it. I swear I'm not some drunk, but I'm actually at a bar about it now..."

"I'm not either, but I wish I had a beer myself about now."

Haida couldn't help but chuckle. Even if it was complete happenstance, maybe the app was onto something. This Shirota guy was alright.

"Hey Haida, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"Not too much. Are you about to ask me on a date?"

"Nah, it's just been a while since I hung out with another guy. I thought it sounded like fun. Meet someone new, you know?"

"Like a man date?"

"Yeah! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Are we going to a ball game or something?"

"How about we just start with the park?"

"Yeah, actually, I wouldn't mind that. Maybe it'll be good for me."

"Yeah, you can tell me all about this girl of yours. Maybe I can help you out."

"I doubt it."

"Well, maybe you can help with mine. I feel totally clueless!"

"Tell me about it."

Haida found himself chuckling in the bathroom stall. Suddenly, he felt a lot better.

"So... It's a date then?"

"Yeah. A man date. See you there."

---

"Wait, did you say 'Retsuko?'" Shirota interrupted Haida.

"Y-yeah, why?" Haida looked up at the big bear, puzzled.

"Red panda? Light fur? Tries to act polite but is a little grouchy on the inside?" Shirota described.

Haida's eyes turned into pinpricks. "You know her?"

Shirota rubbed the back of his head, a little embarrassed. "Know her? I almost married her!"

A crisp, autumn afternoon awaited the two men when they met at the park, the falling leaves crunching against the cold flagstones underfoot. Haida wore his heavy biker jacket, while Shirota opted for a brown bomber jacket and a sweater. Despite being perfect strangers, the two fell into step like they had known each other for a while.

Of course, Haida was intimidated by Shirota's large size, and Shirota couldn't help but laugh at the way Haida got flustered by his blunt ways. But without anything in common to talk about, he had simply asked Haida about his girl troubles. It was a direct stab at a personal area, but Haida wasn't going to pass up the chance to get his feelings off his chest to an impartial third party.

Which led to the present revelation.

"WHAT!?" Haida blurted out. "Explain yourself, now!"

Shirota laughed and held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, hey, easy! Her mom got a hold of my mom to try and set us up, that's all. I never met her before that. We didn't even really go on a date, we just had tea at my parents' place, and then I heard she wasn't interested after that."

Haida's outrage defused when he heard Shirota's explanation. "Oh," he said. He looked up at Shirota. The bear had a little smile at the corner of his mouth, but there was a kind of sadness in his eyes. "That Retsuko's a tough nut to crack, I guess."

"You'd know," Shirota agreed. "Chasing after her for years with nothing to show for it? I feel for you."

Haida didn't want to hog all the spotlight or the sympathy, so as they walked under the autumn boughs he said, "What about you? You said you were engaged, right? So I guess it worked out for you."

The two stopped at a coin fountain, and Shirota leaned forward, resting his elbows on the cold stone. "I guess you could say that," he said softly. "But... I guess it's not much different from Retsuko. The whole thing was set up by our parents. I don't even know her that well, to tell the truth."

Haida couldn't help but stare at him. Something about Shirota's face drew the eye in a quiet, mundane sort of way. "So why did you agree to it?"

Shirota gave a single chuckle. "I don't know," he said. "I could give you all sorts of reasons. I'm thirty four, and not getting any younger. She's cute, and nice, and from a good family. I want to have a family of my own someday." He paused though, and the smile that hung at the corner of his mouth all afternoon faded. "Maybe I'm just lonely..."

The desire to comfort the big bear was automatic. Haida didn't know how at first, looking up at his soft face before turning back to the trickling water before them. "You know, that takes a lot of guts," he said. Shirota turned to look down at the smaller hyena, listening quietly. "Marrying someone you don't know like that? Trusting that it'll work out, or, I guess, just deciding to make it work... " Haida looked up at the sky, his crooked teeth sticking out with his own half-smile. "Maybe I'd be a lot better off if I was a bit more like you."

Shirota just shook his head, his smile returning. "Don't kid yourself. Being lonely is scary, but..." he faltered. "Maybe we shouldn't be so afraid of it. Maybe fear just causes us to make bad decisions in a panic, and we just make everything worse..."

Haida looked over to the big bear. "Sounds like you're having second thoughts about the engagement," he said. "Have you said anything to her about it?"

Shirota shook his head. "I'm too big a coward for that. Besides, I think she already knows. We don't love each other." It was the first time Shirota had said it out loud, and it was a huge weight off his chest just to feel the words escape his lips. "But maybe, marriage isn't about love."

"Maybe," Haida replied. "But life is. Isn't it?" Then, quieter, he added, "Otherwise... what's the point of anything?"

Shirota turned to face Haida now, full on, his big body looming over the smaller, slimmer man. "I suppose you're right," he admitted. "But... maybe marriage isn't the only place love can come from, you know? Maybe family, or coworkers, or... a good friend is enough."

Haida couldn't help but blush. With a nervous chuckle, he replied, "Come on, man, I just met you!"

Shirota laughed in response, a big, happy belly laugh that Haida could have listened to all afternoon. "Sorry," he apologized. "I've been told I can be sappy like that."

Haida was smiling too. "Honest to a fault, eh?" he said. "It was really nice of you to listen to me like that. A total stranger, just blabbing about his girl troubles like that."

"It's nice to know we have more in common than we thought," Shirota answered. "And it was nice of you to listen to me, too. I don't get a lot of chances to talk like that to anyone."

"I guess I don't either," Haida said. "Well, maybe after a couple drinks..."

Shirota smirked. "Maybe that's what we should do next time," he said. "A couple sad sacks like us? Buy a couple rounds and just pour our hearts out?"

Haida smirked back. "I know a few places. But does that mean we're already agreeing to a second man date?"

"Well, the first one went pretty well, I'd say. Wouldn't you?" Shirota asked.

Haida nodded. "Yeah... It really did. I feel a lot better."

"Me too," Shirota said. He clapped Haida on the back, his big paw strong enough to nearly topple the hyena over. With a laugh, Shirota fished some change out of his pocket. Holding it on his thumb, toward the fountain, he said, "To a long and happy friendship, then?"

Haida reacted, fishing in his pocket for a coin of his own. "Yeah. To new friends."

The two flipped their coins into the fountain with a pair of tiny plops, before the glints of light sunk and rested at the bottom side by side.

---

A cheer erupted throughout the bar, drowning out the commentators as they announced a home run. Haida and Shirota, already at the bottom of their first round of beers, were more than loosened up, cheering along and pumping their fists at the screen. Part of the mood was the beer, but the electric atmosphere of the sports bar was to blame too.

It was almost an ironic joke, but the two decided that if they were to go on a "man date," then they should do something more "manly" than a mere walk in the park. So drinking and watching sports was the activity for the evening.

Haida and Shirota couldn't resist the big grins they had plastered across their reddened cheeks. Shirota barely felt a buzz while Haida felt the warm tingles in his brain, and even their outfits were looser, a button or two of their shirts undone and their ties loosened for the evening.

"I gotta say, Haida, I didn't quite take you for a sports guy," Shirota said. "Cute little thing like you? I thought you'd be totally lost."

Haida couldn't help but snap his attention to Shirota at the word "cute." It sent a surge down his spine that surprised even himself, but he managed to stammer out a response, "What do you mean, who doesn't like baseball? You think I'm not manly enough to like sports?" he demanded.

Shirota laughed and held up his hands. "No, no, of course not. I was just surprised you wanted to come here. But if you like it, then next time we'll have to go to a ballgame, won't we?"

Haida smirked and nodded. "And what about you? I bet you were some kind of major jock in school then, huh?"

"Guilty," Shirota chuckled. "Sort of. I played rugby, not baseball."

Haida folded his arms, sizing up the bigger bear. "Yeah that looks about right. Big guy like you, you must have really been able to throw your weight around on the field I bet."

Shirota averted his eyes. "I was okay. I think I didn't really have the drive for it. I liked exercising and hanging out with the other guys, but the actual games were just for fun. I didn't really care about winning enough to be any good."

With a shrug, Haida just said, "Eh, nothing wrong with having a hobby."

The two clinked their glasses together with a shared "cheers" after they got their next round, taking big, hearty, satisfying gulps.

"So what are you into?" Shirota asked.

Haida's ears twitched. "Eh, well... You'd probably think it's silly," he said.

"Try me," Shirota said before taking another sip of his beer.

Haida nodded and said, "Well... I like music, actually. Mostly like, punk rock, you know? I play bass in a band, but I can play guitar too."

"That suits you," Shirota responded definitively. "A mild-mannered office guy like you must be dying for a way to not get crushed by the system, right? And you're nice, but I can tell you've got a bit of an attitude."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haida demanded, but Shirota just laughed. Even Haida couldn't stay too embarrassed. "I guess you got me. It's just always been that way. I wasn't anything special in school. I wasn't any good at sports. People liked me, but I wasn't anything special, you know? But I always had music. No matter how bad things got, I could just play guitar and be myself." Haida paused to sip his beer and added, "I only started because I thought it would help me pick up chicks, but look how that turned out!"

"Yeah, you ended up here with me!" Shirota agreed with a grin.

Haida felt another tingle down his spine, but he didn't acknowledge it. Instead, he just asked, "So, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"What are you into?"

Shirota just cocked an eyebrow. "I told you I played rugby."

"Not anymore," Haida pointed out. "And you don't really seem like the jock type to me now."

"What makes you think I'm into anything?" Shirota dodged.

But Haida could tell the big bear was just toying with him. With a scowl, he said, "Come on, you can't sit around and do nothing all day after work. Everyone's into something. I told you mine. Now it's your turn."

Even with the beer bolstering his courage, Shirota couldn't look at Haida directly. "You would really think it's silly..."

"Try me," Haida mirrored.

Shirota took a deep sigh and another gulp of beer for good measure. "Alright, alright. So... the thing is... I collect..." he heaved another sigh, but then he spat it out. "...stuffed animals."

Haida heard him, but the confession didn't fully register at first. "...What?"

"You know," Shirota started to explain. "Cute, fluffy, little stuffed animals. I've got dozens of them from a bunch of different brands. Some of them have clothes, and some of them are really bright colors... It's not a very comprehensive collection, but anytime I see one I think is cute, I buy it as a little treat for myself."

There was a pause as Haida processed the information, Shirota blushing sheepishly and awaiting his response. "You really do like cute things, huh?" Haida said. Shirota nodded. "Is it like... one of those lolita things?" he asked.

"No!" Shirota blurted out. "I mean, yes, but not quite like that - It's not like - aargh!" he stumbled, and Haida couldn't help but laugh.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you get worked up, big guy," he said, gulping down his beer and enjoying being the one on the other side of the table when someone was floundering for once.

Shirota did his best to calm down and explain. "I just... I like cute things. That's it, okay? Sometimes it's pink and frilly and girly, but not always. And I guess I like it better when girls are cute too, but... that doesn't mean I like them young or childish or anything, you know?"

Haida held his hands up to relieve some of the pressure. "Easy, big guy. I get it. You like cute things. It's not some weird thing." He smiled and leaned forward. "I don't think there's anything wrong with that. A big guy like you... probably doesn't get to feel like that very often, do you?"

Shirota had honestly never thought about it that way, and the comment gave him pause. "Rugby was fun, but it was so rough and tough... Being around other men is always like that," he said softly. "Sometimes I wish it wasn't like that. I like it when things are soft, and nice and warm. I like people like that."

Haida raised his empty glass toward Shirota. "You are exactly like that," he said confidently.

"...Really?" Shirota asked softly.

"Definitely. A hundred and twenty percent."

Shirota nodded, an irresistible smile creeping across his face. And maybe it was the beer talking, but he even felt a tear at the corner of his eye. "Thanks. No one's ever said that to me before..." he said. Haida didn't respond, just watching as Shirota finished off the last of his beer. "You should play for me sometime. I'd love to hear your guitar."

"My place isn't too far," Haida answered. "I think the game will be over in another round? I might have a few more in my fridge, too."

"One more round, then," Shirota agreed.

"Cheers."

The men found themselves gulping down their beer, the idea of having more room to themselves starting to sound better and better. They finished their drinks and left the bar before the game even concluded, stumbling down the street together.

"Man, if my fiancée saw me like this, she would kill me!" Shirota said, leaning on Haida's shoulder for support.

"Easy big guy, or you might kill me!" Haida shouted back with a laugh as he struggled under Shirota's weight.

Shirota laughed back, a big, hearty belly laugh, louder than he'd been all night.

By the time the two reached Haida's apartment, though, things were quieter. Haida flicked on the light and said, "Well, here we are. Home sweet home."

The smile on Shirota's face was soft. "It's nice. It suits you."

"Well, make yourself at home. Sorry it's not bigger," Haida said.

Shirota just shook his head. "It's really fine. My parents' house is almost too big. A little place like this is a lot more... intimate," he said. Haida stopped to look at him, puzzled, and Shirota averted his gaze down the hall. "Is uh, that your room?"

"Yeah, I guess that's where all the magic happens," Haida joked.

"Your guitar's in there?" Shirota asked. "I'd love to hear some."

Haida was about to accept, but memories of Inui came rushing back to him, and he said, "Why don't we do it in the living room? My bed doesn't really have a lot of room..."

"Sure," Shirota said. He took a seat on Haida's couch, looking around the apartment, but feeling relaxed. When Haida came out of his room, holding an acoustic guitar, his face was drawn, his eyes downcast. "Acoustic?" Shirota asked. "I thought you were into the rock n' roll stuff."

"Just felt like something softer might fit better," Haida muttered. Shirota just nodded, sensing that Haida's mood had taken a turn, but he knew better than to say something.

After tuning for a moment, Haida began to play. His fingers plucked artfully at the strings, a soothing melody pealing through the apartment, warm and delicate at the same time. Shirota felt his own heartbeat slow in time with the song.

Haida startled him by speaking. "You know, the last time I played like this for anyone was with Retsuko," he said. "I thought it was such a special moment between us. It meant a lot to me, but... Well, you know how that turned out," he said softly. Then with a scoff, he added, "God, I must be so drunk to just blurt that out..."

Shirota turned his head slowly to look at Haida, gently watching him play. In his own soft tone, he replied, "I'm sorry," he said. "For what it's worth, this is really nice. I love hearing you play. You're really good."

"Thanks," Haida answered with a smirk. "I don't get to as often as I'd like. At least not for anyone. I guess that's my fault though. Music can be... kind of personal, you know?"

Shirota nodded. "You don't mind playing for me then? For some guy you just met?"

"C'mon," Haida said. "We're friends." He continued playing, letting the melody entwine them, surround them and filling the space between them. "I think I needed this."

There was a moment before Shirota said, "I think I had too much to drink, too. I'm feeling all fuzzy," he said with a laugh. Haida smiled, his fingers continuing to dance on the strings while Shirota talked. "I don't think I've ever been with someone like this before. Alone with someone, sharing so much, talking so much. I can't remember the last time I talked so much."

"Not even with your fiancée?" Haida said.

Shirota's brow furrowed. "No. We hardly talk at all."

Haida didn't stop playing, his own eyes staring down as he considered his words. "Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked. "It's one thing to marry someone you're not in love with yet, but you should at least be able to talk to them, right?"

"Yeah..." Shirota said. "But... Ah, I shouldn't be bothering you with this."

"I don't mind."

"I just... wish I could feel close to someone, you know?"

Haida turned his head to look at him, and as a warm chord spun around the room, lingering, he patted his thigh, smiling slightly.

Shirota nodded back. He turned, situating himself to spread across Haida's couch before resting his head in Haida's lap while the hyena continued to strum at the guitar above. So close to the instrument, the notes filled his head, and Haida's body was warm to the touch.

Shirota let out a big, heavy sigh. "This is nice. I think I needed this too. I know you're not my fiancée or anything like that, but... You're sure you don't mind us touching like this?"

"I don't mind."

Another sigh from the big bear. "Thanks, Haida. I... can't remember the last time I was with someone like this."

"Cuddling?" Haida quipped.

"It doesn't have to be like that," Shirota started, but Haida's head shake and his calming music settled him.

"It's fine. It is nice, isn't it? Just to touch someone? To share a moment together? Or even a night?"

"It's so... intimate," Shirota said. "Why is it so hard, though? How come it can't be this easy with my fiancée?"

"You said it," Haida said. "I wish I could do something like this every night. It's... a lot better than being alone. So... thanks for being here."

Shirota nodded. "Anytime." Then, after a pause, a deep, releasing breath heaving from his chest, Shirota asked, "Haida?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if I just stay like this for a while? If we just cuddle like this?"

Haida's smile was peaceful. "Of course. As long as you like."

"Haida... Thank you."

---

Chopsticks clinked against bowls of rice as Shirota and his parents finished their meal together. Shirota was digging into his bowl for the last of dinner, and when he was finished, he set it down with a satisfied sigh. "Ahh, thank you for the food, it was delicious!" he said politely, brightly.

His parents, two aging polar bears themselves, exchanged glances across the table. "Son, you seem rather... chipper lately," his mother spoke up, adjusting her glasses as she smiled at her son.

Shirota cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "Really? I guess I didn't notice."

"You have been in an awfully good mood these past few days," his father added, pointing at his son with his chopsticks.

"Sorry," Shirota replied reflexively. "Here, let me get the bowls," he said, starting to clear his side of the table and heading toward the kitchen.

His mother wasn't far behind him, adding to the dishes in the sink as Shirota rolled up his sleeves to dive into the soapy water. "You don't have to do the dishes as well," she said. "You're busy with work lately and your father and I are retired."

"I don't mind," he said. "You cooked, so it's only polite."

His mother smirked and raised her own brow. "Helpful too? What's gotten into you?"

Shirota laughed, a blush forming on his cheeks. "I don't know... It's probably just the weather or something," he said. But he knew exactly what it was. He'd been thinking of Haida all day. He'd even stayed out at Haida's apartment all night, the two curled up on the couch together, passed out from exhaustion and alcohol. Both were so embarrassed to wake up together the next morning, but they couldn't stop texting. Already their next date was arranged. They agreed they wanted to do more together, to get closer, to do something a bit more personal and intimate. Shirota was already counting the days until Friday night when their next "man-date" was to be.

"The weather?" his mother asked suspiciously, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"It's been nice out lately," Shirota answered simply. But he could tell his mother wasn't buying it, so he decided to take this opportunity to test the waters a bit. "I've been... getting close to someone. A new friend, and it's nice." He started to scrub the dishes, but continued to open up. "He and I know each other through that red panda girl, actually. I don't know, we just really hit it off. We're hanging out together on Friday."

"I see..." his mother replied. She took to rinsing the dishes beside her son and setting them to dry. "And what do you two talk about?"

"His work, his music. He... listens to me talk about the marriage and everything."

"About your fiancée?" she asked.

Shirota nodded. "He encourages me. He thinks I should take my own feelings into consideration. That I need to think about what I want, and that I need to get it."

"With your fiancée?" his mother repeated, her tone a bit more stern.

Shirota wasn't sure what she meant. "Uh... yeah," he replied.

His mother smiled. "Well, that's good. It's about time. I'm glad another man was all it took for you to go for it."

Shirota froze. "What do you mean?"

His mother's smile was calm, easygoing. "Well, I guess you just needed a wingman in your corner to give you the confidence to take her to bed. But you don't think I know what happened that night you stayed out?" she said, giving Shirota a knowing smirk.

His blood was ice in his veins. He couldn't respond.

His mother continued, sly and satisfied. "Now, I know it's not the most traditional way of doing things, but you're still a young man. I don't blame you for wanting to test the waters before taking the boat out to harbor, so to speak. It's natural, a male thing in the end, I suppose."

Shirota didn't know what to say. How could he tell his mother that she had it all wrong? That he spent that night cuddled up to Haida? That the mere thought of sleeping with his fiancée made his stomach turn for some reason? But he knew in an instant that he couldn't. How could he tell her any of those things?

So instead, he merely said, "...I guess you caught me."

"So?" his mother pushed, too nosy for her own good.

He started to sweat. "Well, uh... Yeah, after dinner I took her to one of those love hotels, and... we bought condoms at a konbini, and... Well, we, uh... got to it."

He didn't expect his mother's face to light up the way it did. "Good! I knew you just needed some time alone together. I recognized that grin on your face as soon as I saw it. I was just telling your father that every man is afraid of marriage until the wedding night. It's a lot less scary now that you know what you have to look forward to, hm?"

Shirota could hardly believe his ears. He'd never heard his mother speak so frankly about marriage, let alone about sex. And what did she know of his needs? But all he managed to stammer out was, "Y-yeah, you said it. It was... quite a wild night."

His mother just elbowed him playfully. "Well, trust me, it just gets better. Wait until you two have a bit more practice. Oh, I bet you two will be talking about grandkids in no time!"

Shirota felt like he was going to be sick for some reason. He excused himself as soon as the dishes were done, stepping outside for some air.

On the small bridge he once stood and talked to Retsuko on, confessing his fears of the future, he knew now what he had to do. He knew if he didn't, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Shirota pulled out his phone and called his fiancée. "Hey..." he greeted her somberly. "Sorry to bother you. Yeah... I, uh... I think we need to talk..."

---

Haida actually whistled as he walked through the halls at Carrier Man Trading, mug of coffee in hand. He'd always felt like he was one of the more popular guys in the building, being among the younger crop of employees but not one of the new kids, and in his own opinion, one of the more handsome ones as well, but today he felt more emboldened than normal. Not only was he still riding on the high of the last time he'd seen Shirota, but his day was peppered with little bursts of excitement whenever Shirota sent him a text, checking in on him and sharing moments throughout their day. Their quips and back forth had even gotten him yelled at by Mr. Ton, but he still felt invincible.

And now, it seemed like his good mood was reflecting off of everyone he passed by.

"Hey, Haida, you're in a good mood today," Ookami greeted him in the hall.

"Haida, what made you such a little ray of sunshine?" Tsunoda asked nosily as he entered the accounting department.

Fenneko eyed him up from her spot next to him. She gave it a pause after he gave her the standard morning greeting as he passed by her desk toward his, resuming his whistling. "You're awfully upbeat," she observed. "What happened, you get laid the other night?"

Haida practically heard a record scratch as his arms jerked in surprise, nearly spilling his coffee. "What? What the hell are you talking about? A guy can't be in a good mood for once?"

Fenneko smiled slyly at him. "A guy? Sure. Sulky, manic-depressive you? Not without a good excuse."

"And the most logical explanation is that I got laid?" he replied with an anxious chuckle. "Where are you getting that from?"

Fenneko shrugged. "Just a hunch," she said. "But that little present on your desk isn't doing you any favors."

Haida looked down the row to his desk. On it was a little stuffed polar bear, wearing a bowtie, a rugby ball in one paw and holding a card in the other. It was fluffy and cute, with shining black eyes, a little black nose poking through the fuzz, and the faintest hint of a smile in the stitches of his lips. "What the...?" Haida muttered. He took the card and read it.

All it said was, "From your secret admirer."

Haida knew it was from Shirota. The polar bear was a dead giveaway, and this was the exact kind of little joke he'd think was hilarious. At least, Haida thought it was just a joke. Right?

"This is... just..." Haida stumbled over his words.

Fenneko just turned to Haida, raising an eyebrow, folding her arms, and tapping her foot. "I'm waiting."

Haida slapped his palm over his face. "Okay..." He leaned down, trying to keep it quiet, knowing the accounting department was full of deadly gossips. "You remember that bear from the app?"

Fenneko's eyes turned into pinpricks. "Oh my god, you-"

"No!" Haida interrupted her. "We didn't, okay? We hung out at my place, yeah, but it's not like... like that!"

Fenneko was incredulous at best. "So... you met a guy from a dating app, spent the night with him, fully clothed, and then he just sends you a stuffed animal and calls himself your secret admirer?"

Haida didn't know what to say. But when she put it that way, even he had to admit it sounded awfully gay, especially considering what they had lined up for this weekend. "It's... the truth," he said weakly. "It's kind of a joke, I guess."

Fenneko just sighed. "You are so hopeless. And that's why I believe you."

Haida sighed in relief as well. "Thank you."

"But it's not me you have to worry about," she said. Haida was about to ask what she meant when she looked down the row toward Retsuko approaching, an anxious look on her face.

When she stopped in front of Haida, she asked quietly, "Haida...? Can I talk to you? In the tea room, maybe...?"

"Oh, uh... sure," he said simply. He stood up and followed her to the quiet, mostly private space. But for some reason, he felt the keen sting of dozens of eyes on his back from the rest of the department. When they were finally alone together in the dim little kitchen, he just asked, "What's up?" It was the most calm he'd felt around Retsuko in ages. For once, he wasn't second guessing every moment of the interaction.

But she looked like a nervous wreck. "Well, the thing is... Everyone's kind of seen that bear on your desk, and... Everyone knows that you, well... have a crush on me. And I know it's not fair of me to ask you for something like this after I shot you down all those times, and I'm sorry about that, and-"

"Restuko, it's fine," Haida said, a chuckle in his voice. "Just spit it out. What's wrong?"

She looked humiliated. "Well, the thing is... I don't know how, but everyone thinks that bear is a gift from me. They think we went out together, and... Kabae even told me that people are saying we slept together!" Haida was taken aback, but now that it was out there, Retsuko looked more distressed than ever. "And it's not that I don't like you or think you're a really good friend, but you know we didn't! I know it's probably great for you, everyone thinking that you finally got me into bed and all, and it would probably be really embarrassing to have to tell the truth, but no one believes me, and-"

"I'll set the record straight," Haida said simply.

Retsuko stopped and looked up at him, tears almost in her eyes. "R-really? You will?"

"Of course," he said. "Even if we did, I wouldn't want that getting out and ruining your reputation. But we didn't, and it's not fair to you to let these rumors fly around like that."

"So... what will you tell them?" she asked.

Haida just shrugged. "The truth."

He stepped outside, Retsuko in tow, and cleared his throat to get the attention of the accounting department. He barely had to; everyone was always staring at the two of them emerging from the tea room. It seemed the rumors really had been flying.

"Excuse me," he said. "I just want to clear some things up. How many of you have heard that the bear on my desk is from Retsuko?"

Every hand flew up.

"Uh huh. And how many of you heard that Retsuko and I slept together?"

Every hand.

Haida rolled his eyes. "Right. Well, I want to let you all know that it's not true. Retsuko and I haven't done anything. We never even went on a date. So you can all cut it out with the gossip."

"Well, that's very noble of you and all," Tsunoda crooned sweetly, "But then who is your secret admirer?"

"Yeah!" Ton bellowed from his desk at the head of the department. "I don't know who could fall for that ugly mug, but someone's definitely got the hots for our little Haida!"

Haida grit his teeth, rubbing the back of his head. "It's not like that," he said. "I met a new friend, you see. He's a polar bear named Shirota."

Retsuko snapped her hands to her mouth. "Wait-! Did you say Shirota!?"

Haida chuckled. "Yeah. We actually talked about you," he said. Then, turning back to the rest of the department, he added, "We've just been hanging out, having some guy time and stuff. The bear and note is just his way of busting my chops at work."

Komiya piped up in his weaselly voice. "So you just met this guy, and he already knows where you work and is sending you love notes?"

Ton belly laughed as he chimed in. "C'mon, it makes perfect sense! Why do you think he could never score with Retsuko?"

Haida felt his control of the situation slipping away. "What!? What are you saying? We just hang out a lot, that's all! You know, just guys' nights! Man-dates and stuff!" he insisted.

Ton folded his arms now. "Oh yeah? And what are you guys doing next time you go on one of these 'man-dates?'" he asked with air quotes.

Haida gulped. "Well, we're... going to a bathhouse on Friday..."

"Alone, eh?" Ton sneered. "Sounds pretty romantic!"

"It's not like that!" Haida insisted. Panicking, he blurted out, "You guys can all come along for all I care!"

Ton and Komiya looked at each other with opportunity in their eyes. "I think we deserve a little vacation, sir," Komiya said.

"I'm inclined to agree, Komiya," Ton said. "How about that, fellas? A little guys' night for the men of the accounting department to join Haida on his bathhouse retreat?"

There were murmurs of assent from Anai and Ookami. It seemed the matter was all but settled.

"Sure..." Haida said weakly. "A guys' retreat... yeah..."

Fenneko just shook her head. "Dumbass," she muttered under her breath.

---

Shirota was already waiting in the men's hot spring for Haida. It wasn't one of the fancy baths out in the country, but they did have a private hot tub booked in a nice bamboo spa, steam swirling through the air from the treated water. Shirota hadn't been to a bath since he was a kid vacationing in the country, but he was looking forward to sharing it with Haida. There was a lot he wanted to say, and while a part of him was nervous about being naked with his new friend, he couldn't deny a part of himself wasn't looking forward to it, too.

He looked up when Haida stepped through the door, dressed in a towel, his face beet-red. "Oh!" he said, startled to see Shirota already soaking. "H-hey there, buddy..." he greeted him.

Shirota smiled and waved. "Hey! I've been keeping it warm for ya!" he replied.

"Thanks," Haida said, unable to resist his smile. But he tried to add, "There's something I have to tell you though. You see, the other guys-"

Before he could finish, Mr. Ton burst through the door behind him, his fat body hardly covered by the meager towel around his waist. "What is this little rinky-dink place, Haida? You call this a guys' night? Next time, we're going out to the country for a real hot spring!"

Shirota was about to ask what he meant by "we," but he didn't have to wait as Komiya, Anai, and Ookami stepped in behind him as well, commenting in turn.

"You said it, sir! But I guess it'll have to do, right?"

"The inns in the country are so expensive. It's all just hot water, right? The city's a lot easier."

"Yeah, c'mon Mr. Ton, this place doesn't seem too bad."

Shirota raised an eyebrow at Haida, who just chuckled nervously again. "Well, uh... Shirota? Meet the other guys in my accounting department. Guys, meet... Shirota."

Shirota didn't need to ask to get the gist of what had happened. But he did say, "Well, Haida didn't tell me we'd be having a party tonight. But the more the merrier, right? Come on in, the water's great!" he welcomed them, standing up to make room.

Haida couldn't help but let his eyes dart over to Shirota's body, his breath caught in his throat. Shirota was a big, thick man, but without his clothes, his husky build was even more apparent. Wide shoulders, thick arms, a pudgy chest, and a round beer belly above some thick thighs. His pristine white fur was broken up by a thick tangle of black chest hair that sprawled between his dark nipples, some dense, dark bushes poking out from his armpits as well, and a third thicket between his legs. Haida couldn't miss it, the stout, chubby manhood between his thighs, more or less average in length, but boasting plenty of girth, not to mention the fuzzy, plump fruits it sat above, sagging low between his thighs.

Haida gulped at the glimpse of Shirota's naked body, but a firm slap on the back from Ton snapped him out of it. "Quit starin' Haida! You ain't seen nothin' yet!" he said. With hardly any shame, Mr. Ton whipped off his towel and began to step into the spring, and once again, Haida couldn't look away. Mr. Ton's body was more or less smooth, but his dick was thick and long, well above average as it slapped his thighs before disappearing into the water. Mr. Ton took up nearly a whole edge of the spring, the water rising and splashing about him as he took his seat, spreading his arms and legs as wide as possible. "Ohh, yeah... Nice to finally give my hog some room!"

Komiya was next, the little weasel a bit on the small side, but flocking to Ton's side. "And what an impressive hog it is, sir! I'm sure I can vouch for all of us when I say that there's no way we could measure up to that!" Ton sneered in appreciation, but Haida and Shirota just exchanged a smirk of amusement.

Anai and Ookami were next, their bodies more average, but Anai proved surprisingly fit and well-built, and his manhood nothing to be ashamed of either, but not as big as Ton's. "Really, Komiya?" Anai commented. "It's the twenty-first century, everyone knows size doesn't matter."

Ookami smirked as well, his lanky body slipping lithely into the water. "Maybe not to the ladies, but men will be measuring for the rest of time. It's better to just accept it," he said coolly.

Ton turned to Haida. "Yeah, Haida, so take that towel off and let's see what you're working with!"

Haida froze, nervous and stunned. His eyes scanned to the group, all eyes on him, but Shirota was just wearing an easy smile. "Yeah, I'm curious too, I have to say," he said.

Haida rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said. Biting his lip, he fought down his nerves and let the towel fall to his feet.

"Holy shit," Ton blurted out.

Haida began to step into the pool, his long, dark, slender length slapping at his thighs with each step above his tight coinpurse, blushing profusely.

"It's bigger than an eel!" Komiya added in shocked surprise.

"C'mon guys, it's not that big," Haida muttered.

"It's still pretty damn big, Haida," Ookami said as Haida's waist slipped below the water. Anai just stared on in blank shock.

"Yeah, have some pride, Haida," Shirota encouraged him. "I'm impressed." Haida felt a flush come over him that wasn't from the hot, soothing water around him. But then Shirota added, "But since Haida's definitely the biggest, I reckon the first round of drinks are on him, since he's so fortunate and all."

The men agreed heartily, and the subject of booze shifted the conversation to less-embarrassing waters. Haida was sandwiched between Ookami and Anai, on the opposite side of the spring from Shirota, and while he wished he was right next to the big bear, perhaps it was for the best.

Ton and Shirota were on opposite sides of a corner, and after the first round of sake, Ton just looked over at the bear and spat out, "Damn, you're a hairy son of a bitch, aren't you?"

Despite the rude comment, Shirota just laughed good-naturedly and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I can't really help it. Not much I can do with all of this, huh?"

"Your poor wife, huh?" Ton followed up.

But Shirota just calmly replied, "Oh, I'm not married. I'm not even seeing anyone."

Haida's eyes went wide. "What? You told me you were engaged!"

Shirota just shrugged. "Yeah, I was, but... It didn't work out. Oh well, right?" he said. Clearly he wasn't broken up about it in the slightest. Haida couldn't help but smile.

"Heh! Good riddance," Ton said. "Trust me, you made the right move. Women are nothing but trouble!"

Komiya piped up. "But sir! What about your wife?"

The fat pig took another drink from the bottle and replied, "Ehh, that's different. Yeah, she's great and all, and our girls too. Doesn't mean they're not a pain in my ass."

"C'mon, guys, this is a guys' night!" Shirota said. "Doesn't talking about women kind of defeat the purpose?"

"You have a point," Ookami said with a tilt of his head. "What do you do Shirota?"

"I work at a steel mill, actually," he said. "Mid-level manager, equipment technician is my official title. I just push buttons all day and try not to make a huge mess!"

Ton snorted with approval, slapping Shirota on the back. "A working man! My kind of guy. I bet you could teach these guys a thing or two about what a real days' work is like! They're all so spoiled with all their computers and stuff they got nowadays," he said.

Shirota took his approval gracefully, sipping his own cup. "You guys all work with Haida, right?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Ton said, "And he's the biggest slacker of the bunch!"

The other guys started to laugh, and Haida, flustered, shouted back at them, "Hey, that's not fair! You guys can't gang up on me like that!"

"So he's just a slacker huh?" Shirota turned to him with a smirk. "I can see it. Probably spends all day chatting up the ladies, right?"

"Apparently you're his new 'secret admirer,'" Ookami commented.

"Guilty," Shirota said. With a shrug, he added, "I can't help it. He's just so damn cute."

There was a pause. Everyone looked between the two of them. Haida thought he might die. They were about to figure it out.

Ton bellowed the biggest laugh of the night, splashing the water as he slapped his thigh. "God, Haida! You should see the look on your face!" He gave Shirota another big slap on the back, but the big bear hardly budged at the force that was more than enough to topple any of the others. "I get it now, that is a good one!"

Haida tried to chuckle without too much nervousness in his voice, playing along with the joke. "C-C'mon, Shirota, when are you gonna give that stuff a rest?"

"I worked hard to make that little guy," Shirota said, finishing his drink. "I think I deserve to have some fun for the effort."

Anai spoke up. "So you're the bear, huh? It was holding a rugby ball, right? Do you play?"

"Oh yeah," Shirota confirmed. "All through school. If I wasn't the first guy in the tackle, I was almost definitely the last," he joked about his size, and the other guys had a good laugh, their voices filling the room.

Haida stayed mostly silent, watching how effortlessly Shirota managed to charm his coworkers. Whether it was sports, work, booze, or just about any topic of conversation, the bear proved himself a real man's man, funny and easygoing no matter how obnoxious the other guys were. But Haida knew that it was just the surface, just one part of the big bear he couldn't take his eyes off of. He didn't talk about his love of cute things, or go off on existential tangents like he did with Haida. But occasionally, the two would make eye contact, a sort of visual check in that said, "You okay?" And the other would merely nod. They were having a good time.

But it was only a matter of time before Ton groaned. "God... I had too much to drink," he said. "My wife's gonna kill me when she sees me like this."

"Maybe we should call it a night," Ookami suggested.

Shirota just raised a paw. "You guys just head on out. I'll get the bill, on me."

Ton stood up and gave the naked bear one last slap on the back. "I can see why Haida likes you so much! We should hang out again soon, we can get you back. So don't screw this up, Haida!" he bellowed.

"Yes, sir!" Haida snapped. But Ton trudged out, and the rest of the guys bid their goodnight as well, too tipsy to really think about the fact that Haida and Shirota were now alone together.

The two stared at each other, not really knowing what to say, and yet the silence wasn't uncomfortable. After the loud bombast of Ton and the other guys, the silence of the warm bathhouse was more than peaceful.

"Should we get out? Before we get all pruney?" Haida asked.

Shirota just slid around to sit next to Haida. "I don't mind staying a bit longer."

Haida didn't have to say anything. Shirota spread his arms around the back of the tub, and Haida slipped himself in beside the larger man. Their thighs touched, his shoulder tucked underneath the bear's arm. Shirota was even warmer than the hot spring.

"Sorry about your fiancée," Haida said softly.

Shirota sighed. "It was hard. But it was the right thing. She was upset at first, but after we started talking, well... It was the first time we ever really talked. And I think she understood." He smiled. "I feel a lot better now. Like I can finally be myself, instead of a part of it."

Haida nodded. His heart was pounding all of a sudden, but he knew he didn't have to keep himself from Shirota. The bear was too soft, too approachable. He pressed into his side more firmly, resting his head against his shoulder and letting his fingers play against his hairy chest, thinking about just how soft Shirota was all over.

Haida's voice came soft, barely more than a whisper between them. "We aren't... just friends, are we?"

Shirota's gaze cast downward, toward their thighs obscured by the steaming water. "We can be," he said. "If you want. I'd never push you, Haida. But..."

"But...?" Haida pressed softly.

Shirota's paw squeezed around Haida's slender shoulder. "But... I think I finally know what I want now."

Haida let the confession hang in the air. He was trembling, his mouth dry. This is what it felt like when he confessed to Retsuko each time, but somehow this was worse. The feelings were so much stronger, Haida couldn't tell if he wanted to laugh or cry. But he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he was happy.

"I do too," Haida said. "I... I want to make you happy, Shirota," he said. "I've spent so much time thinking about myself, worrying about whether or not I'll end up alone... I never even considered I might be..."

"Gay?" Shirota finished, his voice just as soft. "I don't know about you. You really seemed to like those women you told me about, but... It would make a lot of sense for me."

Haida looked up at him. "I mean, I thought I did, but now... I don't know. I don't know what I am, but... you really think you're gay?"

"Yeah," Shirota said, calm and confident and quiet. "And it feels good to say it. I'm gay, Haida. And..." he turned, looking down at the smaller hyena. "I want to be with you."

The confession was better than anything he could have ever imagined reaching his ears. He felt like he was floating on the water, completely enveloped in Shirota's warmth. But his nervous nature couldn't be forced down so easily. "But, what about your family? And your job? And we haven't known each other that long, and-"

"And we'll figure it out," Shirota said. "I'm in no rush. We don't have to tell anyone right away. It can be just us for a while. But..." Shirota couldn't help but let out a single chuckle, a tear forming at the corner of his eye. "I can't help it. You're just so cute..."

Haida had to laugh too, pressing himself fully against Shirota's body. "Wow... I guess we really are a perfect match, huh?"

"A hundred twenty percent," Shirota agreed.

Haida felt himself drawn deeper into Shirota. He wanted so much more of him, even though they were already naked together, wrapped in each others' embrace. He wanted everything, to give everything and share everything with this other man. But all Shirota could do was lean his head down toward Haida, and Haida turned his muzzle up to meet his.

Their lips met softly, firmly, warmly, tenderly. Haida could feel the big man's body like a big, hairy cushion against his, and Shirota felt the smaller man's slender frame tangled up around his broad back. The two could hardly believe they were kissing another man, yet the result was undeniable: the sparks flew, shooting all around them, fingers pressed into backs and soft breaths traded between eager exchanges of tongue.

It was one moment that couldn't last forever. They knew that. When they separated, it was mutual, and yet their arms didn't want to be free just yet.

"Wow..." Haida uttered, breathless.

"Yeah..." Shirota agreed.

Haida tucked his head against Shirota's shoulder, his hand stroking the bear's body. "Shirota?"

"Yeah?" he asked, the bear's paw wrapped firmly around Haida's waist, his other resting on his slim thigh.

"Can we stay like this? Just a little longer? Just to..."

"Cuddle?" Shirota finished.

"Yeah."

"Sure," Shirota agreed. "I'm a hell of a cuddler."

"I know," Haida said with a smile.

The two stayed pressed together, silent, comfortable, floating on the water until their time expired. They dressed together, parting with one last kiss before heading out the door.

Each deposited a coin into a tip jar on the countertop, hearing them clink together at the bottom as they stepped out into the night together.