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Chapter 19: Too Much Truth to Handle

"Dad, you were right," Enya said in a low, bitter voice. She and Keeno were standing in the shade of a cluster of palm trees in the back garden. It was night still. The storm was fading, and the rain was once again a light patter, tapping down the wide leaves of the palms and splashing in pools in the mud. The others were inside. Yuri and Kilyan were still kneeling faithfully at the side of the little white vixen, who slept soundly as they poured over old scrolls, trying to find ways to heal her or extend her life. Wynn and the winged prince, meanwhile, were sound asleep in the guestroom. Kel and Aliona had not yet returned.

"What do you mean?" Keeno asked anxiously. He laughed. "You know hell will freeze over before I'm right about anything."

Enya laughed too but still looked troubled. She played absently with a white flower that had wilted and shed from a nearby tree. She rolled the pretty petals around in her fingers as she thought. "What you said back when I first - back when you found out about me and Yuri."

"Oh," said Keeno as it dawned on him. "But what's going on? Why aren't you happy?" He stood looking at Enya as if he could grant her any request in the world, however ridiculous.

"I didn't want to admit it all this time," Enya said, looking at the flower, "but over the years . . . I've come to hate Yuri's job! You said she was gonna be too busy for me and you were right. All she does is work, work, work. Heal, heal, heal. Bless, bless, bless!" Enya chucked the flower hard on the last word. "I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "For some dumb reason I thought everything would be alright once we were together. I didn't think I could be so frustrated."

Enya looked around when her father took her paw, and she was confused: Keeno was smiling.

"My daughter," he said, squeezing Enya's fingers, "welcome to marriage." He smoothed her mane and told her to come inside, then passed into the light and warmth of the house.

Feeling a little lighthearted, Enya followed.

Kilyan and Yuri were packing up the old scrolls with heavy hearts when Enya and Keeno returned.

"I don't even have to ask," said Keeno, looking disappointed as he sat in a chair.

Kilyan sat at his side, his green eyes fixed unseeing on the floor. "Yuri doesn't think she'll make it through another day," he told Keeno in a low voice. "She's been holding on all this time just to see me."

"You'd think she'd care about seeing her own damned son," Keeno returned. He was still suspicious of Nontikmah, whatever he had told Wynn to the contrary. No matter what Kilyan said, Keeno did not trust Nontikmah anymore than he could throw her. He had pretended to trust her for the sake of comforting Wynn, he had pretended that Kilyan's judgment was good, but no one knew better than Keeno that sometimes those green eyes saw good where it wasn't. As far as Keeno was concerned, Kilyan was hopeless and needed the protection of his best friend. As always.

"She already saw him."

They all looked up to find Wynn standing in the hall. She came into the room as she said, "Sylas has contacted her and he's forgiven her. That's why she's not concerned about seeing him."

Kilyan's ears pricked forward in his surprise. "You'd think she'd mention that."

Keeno snorted. "Yeah. I wonder what else she didn't mention."

"Keeno! She's dying! What do you want from her?" snapped Kilyan, who was suddenly irritated by his best friend's suspicion.

"I want the truth, Kilyan. I'm only looking out for you!" was Keeno's answer. He looked at Wynn and jerked his head for her to sit with them. "What else do you know, kiddo?"

Wynn did as she was told, sitting beside Enya as Yuri prodded the fire and whispered a low chant over the vixen's body.

"Sylas said he'd meet me at the jungle," Wynn admitted.

Kilyan stiffened.

"I told him I want to be with him, Dad. But only after --" Wynn bit her lip. She had almost confessed her secret desire to see her parents reunited. "After things are settled with Grandfather."

"Wynn . . ." Kilyan took her paw and squeezed it in both of his own, "if you go with him, I might never see you again! Think about this! The pregnancy will take one hundred years! During this time, you'll probably stay in that Miras Eii place, and by the time you are free again to leave it . . ." I'll be dead. Kilyan didn't think he could say those words.

"I'm tired of being a burden to you!" Wynn said earnestly. "I'm tired of h-hurting everyone! You're better off without me --"

"No," said Kilyan at once. "You're not going and that's final."

"I'm going, Dad," Wynn said firmly. "It's already started. It can't be undone!"

"She's right, Kilyan."

They all looked around to find Nontikmah was awake. She watched Kilyan apologetically from where she lay beside the fire. The warm and dry sheets were drawn up around her breasts and her head rested on a fluffy white pillow.

Kilyan went to her. "You knew it couldn't be undone!" he accused, dropping to his knees. "And still you left us in the dark!"

"You couldn't handle the truth, Kilyan!" Nontikmah told him.

"What else have you kept from me?" Kilyan demanded. "Tell me everything, tell me now! Let's start with Sylas. Where is he and what is he planning next? What did he do to my daughter! Tell me how to fix it -!"

"Kilyan!" Nontikmah shouted as loudly as her weak lungs would allow. For Kilyan had been getting more and more excited the louder he yelled at her. "I was telling the truth, Kilyan. It can't be undone. She's the chosen now. Sylas couldn't choose another if he wanted. Everything has already been set in motion. Eventually, no matter what you do to stop it, Wynn will disappear into Miras Eii. You've already lost her." Nontikmah said the last part apologetically and closed a feeble paw over his.

Kilyan snatched his paw away. "I wish I'd never met you," he whispered, though he knew it was a lie.

Nontikmah smiled weakly. "See? I told you you couldn't handle the truth."

"Wait a minute," said Keeno into the silence. "Who is Sylas' father?"

"As if it mattered now," said Kilyan bitterly to the floor. He moved across the room to sit in a chair, and leaning forward, he dropped his face in his paws.

"No, it does matter," answered Keeno, "because you told me, Kilyan, that Kitari was Sylas' father. Remember how we went on about him being the same one that foresaw the Golden Age? Kitari wasn't a fox king. If he was really Sylas' father, then neither is Sylas."

Kilyan looked up quickly. "Keeno, you're brilliant!"

Keeno closed his eyes and lifted his eyebrows. "I know."

"No," said Wynn quietly. She had been watching Nontikmah and knew already what the witch would say. "Dyzere is Sylas' father."

Kilyan grew very still as he looked across the room at the witch. "Tell me you didn't lie to me before!"

"Kilyan," Nontikmah said, as if he should have known better, "did you really expect me to tell you the secrets of the fox kingdom? Yes, I lied about Kitari being Sylas' father. But everything else I said was the truth: I really did know Kitari in my bed and, yes, he really did break my heart. There was no reason back then for you to know anything about the true function of the fox kingdom. You had enough on your plate as it was."

Kilyan didn't see how he could argue with that. He gazed sadly at his daughter and thought to himself that if this was really what Wynn wanted . . . But who was he kidding? Wynn didn't know what she wanted. Wynn was sixteen! Sylas didn't know what he wanted either for that matter. It didn't matter if the boy was one-hundred and seventeen or just seventeen. They were both too young (and in Sylas' case inexperienced) to really know anything about life let alone about love. But reflecting that Wynn would have given birth and married the very next year anyway, Kilyan suddenly realized he was only losing her a year early. The only difference here was . . . he was losing her forever.

"Astral projections," said Wynn suddenly.

Everyone looked up.

"Well, I just thought," Wynn said, glancing at Nontikmah, "if I have to stay inside Miras Eii, couldn't I always project my essence so the family can see me? Isn't that what Sylas has been doing all this time?"

"Very good, young one," said Nontikmah, eying Wynn with the same admiration as before. "Pretty and clever. A good match for my Sylas. She will rule the fox kingdom well."

"Yeah," said Kilyan, smiling proudly across the room at his daughter. "She will."

Kilyan and Wynn were smiling warmly at each other when Kel and Aliona suddenly hurried in from the rain. They dropped the muddy sleeping furs from their heads, and just by the wretched expressions on their faces, the others knew something unpleasant had taken place between them and Zaldon. Not just an argument. Kel and Aliona could have borne that. No, the pair had faced cold rejection. Zaldon obviously had not even deigned to argue with them.

"Dad . . ." began Kilyan, straightening up.

"I'm going to bed," Kel said. Enya watched anxiously as he passed through the room. He paused to touch her cheek to reassure her, and they watched as he moved dismally up the stairs.

Kilyan shot from his chair, and Aliona knew at once that he was about to take off for Zaldon's. Kilyan and Zalia had often complained in the past that they were tired of watching Kel and Zaldon hurt each other. But it was getting worse now: Aliona had apparently been just as hurt, her emotions as equally shattered as her husband's by another harsh break up.

"Kilyan," Aliona said when her son took up his spear. "Kilyan, let your father and I handle this --"

"No, Mom," Kilyan said, shaking his head as he went to the door. "I'm tired of him hurting you. If it's really over, then I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. And if he's just pushing you away for some stupid reason, then I'm going to get to the bottom of it --"

"Kilyan!" Aliona rushed to her son and grabbed his arm. "Zaldon isn't himself! Something is very wrong. He p-pushed me - he pushed me so hard! I almost - please, don't go there! He may hurt you --"

"Then so bet it," said Kilyan, and jerking his arm free, he marched out the door.

Aliona stared miserably at the door as it slammed in her face. She felt Keeno's fur brush her when he came to her side. "I'll go after him," her son-in-law assured her in a grim voice, and taking up his spear, he left too.

Kilyan ran hard through the rain, skidding in the mud as he stopped now and then to find his way. Though the rain had become a soft drizzle and it was now much easier to see, he still felt very lost and confused: his anger was blinding him. All he could see was red as he stood on the corner with his chest heaving, trying to decide which street to take. Above the cold smell of gutter water and mud, he smelled Keeno come pelting up behind, heard his feet splashing heavily through the water.

"Kilyan!" Keeno called breathlessly.

To hell with it, Kilyan thought and picked a street at random. He darted off, and Keeno just reached him in time to grab his arm. Kilyan spun around and shoved Keeno back, snarling for him to return to Enya's. But Keeno held on.

"You really think I'm gonna leave you like this? For all I know, you might kill Zaldon if I don't stop you --"

"Keeno, fuck off -!"

"No!"

"I said fuck off!"

Kilyan twisted and shoved as they grappled on the street corner, the rain slicking their manes into their eyes. With his spear in both paws, he used it to give Keeno a few sharp blows. But Keeno matched him blow for blow, barring him until their spears locked hard against each other. As each strained to overbear the other, Keeno took the opportunity to knock Kilyan's legs from under him. Kilyan slipped and fell hard in the mud. Keeno kicked Kilyan's spear away, and in one fluid motion, had taken it up and was pointing his own spear at Kilyan's throat. Kilyan lay panting on his back, his chest heaving, the green eyes enraged.

"How dare you stop me from --"

"Shut up, Kilyan," said Keeno, rolling his eyes.

Kilyan did shut up. Laying there heaving to catch his breath, he realized for the first time how stupid he was being in his anger. He let his head drop back in the mud and just lay there with his eyes closed.

"This isn't the way to find out what's going on," Keeno scolded him. He shook his head. "Acting on your damn emotions instead of using your head. I thought that was my fault, Kilyan, not yours. I'm supposed to be the one with the temper, remember?"

"I'm tired of it, Keeno," Kilyan admitted. "It's all too much. Wynn being taken from me and now this --"

"I know, my brother," Keeno answered, "but you keep forgetting . . . you're not alone." Keeno smiled and offered Kilyan the butt-end of his spear. Kilyan smiled back as he used it to pull himself up. They stood together on the corner, peering through the rain and up the torchlit street.

"So," said Kilyan, "what do you suggest we do?"

Keeno looked at his best friend and suddenly grinned.