FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The sun beat down on the unkempt lawn, unusually hot for the season, as the rat approached the Manor. She wore a knee-length black skirt, and nothing else as she dragged a sledgehammer behind her with her remaining arm. Its handle was nearly half as tall as she was. A few personnel spotted her, but there was some confusion. Everyone knew who it was, but her appearance had changed so radically from their assumptions, many worried it was a new effect of the Manor's poison. People began shouting for the Doctor, but no one seemed to know where she was.

She reached the porch and hefted the hammer to her shoulder. She let out a yell, and charged the door. The metal head bounced off the wood with a hollow thwack. She screamed louder and swung again, and again. She couldn't manage even a dent in the old wood. She growled and limped to the front window when it became clear she was too weak to break the door. The pane of glass should have been a vista into the foyer, but as ever during the day, it showed nothing but a sheet of black behind it. The house slept, and she was determined to wake it. She was determined to hurt it.

The hammer glanced off the window with a clack like stone. She pounded it again and again, but couldn't even chip the glass. She screamed as she went, tears streaming down her face. The hammer slipped as she swung it, and collided with her leg. She started sobbing in earnest, but brought the hammer to bear again, determined to break something, anything. A crowd formed at the exclusion line, but no one dared cross it. News finally reached the front: the Doctor was out of camp. There was a commotion as they tried to decide who among them should go in, but someone broke from the crowd without a word before they finished.

The dog stepped over the line, feeling his blood begin to itch immediately. It seemed that even in its dormant state, Galleus Manor was poisonous. He reached the porch, and hesitated. The rat was still swinging, but she had worn herself out. Her blows were even more pathetic, and she'd ripped her stitches in the frenzy. Blood fell in a line down her stomach, from right below her breast.

"Jason," the dog said softly. The rat whipped in a circle at his voice, bringing the hammer in an arc with her. The blow caught the dog off guard, drilling him in the thigh, but there wasn't much force behind it.

"Jade!" the rat screamed through gritted teeth. Her voice was much higher than before, far more feminine. She froze, realizing who it was, and what she'd done. Guilt washed over her,but when she saw his reaction, a new feeling replaced it. He barely seemed to notice the hammer hitting him at all. She couldn't deny it any more. She was powerless. The hammer slid through her fingers and clattered to the porch. "My name is Jade," she said, desperately trying to hold on to any sense of control.

The dog nodded. "Jade, we need to go back," he said simply, and held a hand out to her. She struggled for a moment. Then forced herself to take it. She let him lead her back to the line, back to the others, and left the hammer on the porch where it fell.

---

The wolf poured Jade a glass of water before sitting down as well. She wore pants now, but had put on a blouse, no longer seeing the point in hiding it. If she was going to get fired, she may as well be wearing her own clothes. The office trailer might have looked a mess to anyone else, but Jade had spent enough time around cables to see the pattern. Twelve monitors sat in a row on the desk, each showing static. A new monitor sat above them, the start of a new row, but that one sat dark for the time being.

The Master said nothing for a long time. Jade was afraid of him, he was her boss, he was bigger than her by half, and she found his heavy gaze impossible to read. She didn't know if he was mad, disappointed, or something worse. She didn't like being alone in a secluded room with him either, and kept herself turned in her chair so she could see the door. Not that she thought she could outrun or overpower him, she had been weak before, and what strength she did have had been sapped by hormone replacement long ago. That wasn't even to mention losing her dominant arm, or the dozens of stitches holding her together.

She kept her eyes nailed to the floor waiting for something, anything. She almost wanted him to start shouting, but he remained ever silent. Slowly, reluctantly, she looked up, and saw him not even looking at her. He had his eyes distantly fixed on the monitors.

"They don't work while it's dormant," the Master said, almost absently, "any idea why that is?"

As hazy as her head felt, Jade still picked up the subtle quirk in his tone. He was performing disinterest. Jade looked to the monitors as well. The cameras were wireless out of necessity, any cables ran through the doors were severed when they shut themselves. Any hole put through the wood during its active phase also vanished when it went dormant. The Manor refused alteration, at least to its exterior. That didn't answer the question though.

Jade realized what was wrong with the image. These were WiFi cameras, hooked up to the camp's boosted network and fed into the banks before her, they weren't a CCTV feed. "It's not a signal block," she said, "they'd either show nothing, or be stuck on the last frame they received. They're getting data, it's just..."

"This is what it wants us to see," the wolf finished.

Jade rose and stepped closer to the monitors. "Could it be signal disruption? Something corrupting the data... no that would be data moshing or just black then, this is deliberate."

She looked over to the old wolf, now sat all the way back in his chair. "I'm sorry for asking you here before you were done recovering," he said, "but there was concern among the staff for your safety. One of the later effects of advanced corruption is being drawn to the Manor. It was only natural they worry."

Jade returned to her seat silently. She had known this was coming. "I'm sorry."

The wolf waved his hand. "The first, and only question that matters, is if you want to continue working for us. I understand you've suffered catastrophic injury, and I want you to know that no matter your decision, we will be providing for your medical needs as well as providing a basic income, adjusting for inflation each year."

Jade huffed. "Can I get that in writing?"

Master Galleus nodded. "Absolutely," he said, and opened a drawer in his desk. He pulled out a stack of paper held together with an alligator clip. "Signed by myself, and notarized. Requires no agreement on your part, will continue indefinitely without contingency."

Jade took the stack and said nothing. The wolf waited patiently as she flipped through it. Jade didn't consider herself a legal expert, but she'd written hundreds of contracts for her own business before. From what she could tell, the agreement looked solid. She relaxed a little, and looked up to the wolf.

"Would you like to go home?"

"No," Jade said without hesitation, "I need to see it burn."

The wolf grinned. "Maybe one day, we tried fire before, but it just repairs itself." He pulled a small black device from his drawer, and handed it to her.

Jade recognized it, but it still felt wrong in her hands. It was a simple tool, but she knew everything depended on that single number. Awkwardly, she pressed the needle into her arm, and let it prick her skin through her fine fur. The display flashed its three dots for a few seconds, then rendered its verdict.

Jade's hearts sank. "85%."

The wolf sighed. "It seems you are uniquely susceptible to the Manor's effects. We can never let you enter the exclusion zone again."

To Jade's surprise, the wolf popped a fresh cartridge into the reader, and pricked his palm. He held it out for her to read. 98%. A wave of mixed emotions crashed through Jade.

"Here is my offer," the wolf said, "you are unfit for duty on the exploration team, like many here your corruption is far too high to risk anything more than tangential exposure. That said, your skill set would not go unused in camp, and you have invaluable direct experience with my Manor."

"I-" Jade opened her mouth, but the wolf held his hand up

"Continued employment here would come with extra requirements however. The first of which is moving you into the general personnel quarters, there would be considerably less privacy. You would also need to consent to weekly bleeding and blood transfusions to maintain your current levels. Possibly more frequently, for someone your size. The side effects of the procedure are significant, and may impact the effectiveness of your medications."

"You mean my HRT?"

"Yes, though Dr. Willow may be able to mitigate these effects to an extent. She's very talented. Our blood is not sexed however, so it will cause instability in your hormone levels."

Jade looked down, thinking. "She's a surgeon, right?"

The wolf nodded. "Yes."

"I think I can make this work," Jade said.

The wolf nodded again, "Very well," he said. "I have one last thing I wanted to discuss, but this is more of a personal matter."

Jade was afraid of that. Everyone respected her skills, but there was always a but. It was why she preferred to do business as a man. He was an older wolf, she didn't hold much hope for him, so she held her breath, bracing for the worst.

"The nature of our work is inevitably personal. Inhibitions are under constant strain here, and I've generally found it more prudent to account for that than to fight it. We ban alcohol so as to avoid exacerbating it, but that's a band-aid. Urges, desires, these inevitably come out to air, especially among our long-term staff. Few remain closeted for long, and we account for that too."

"Are you calling me a pervert?"

"I don't care if you're a pervert," the wolf said flatly, "it does not interest me in the slightest. My concern is your ability to perform your job, and by extension the same for everyone else. It will only become harder for you to deny yourself going further, but I understand it is your choice how to present. I just want you to know that should you decide to change that, we will make steps to accommodate that, and any staff that impairs your ability to perform your duties, say through either implicit or direct harassment, will be dealt with appropriately."

Jade tried to read the wolf's face but came up blank. She was baffled how he could seem so disconnected and down to earth at the same time. One thing she did know, was she could trust him, for now at least. "Thanks," she said, almost reluctantly.

"I do have one task for you I'd like you to get a start on early, if you don't mind. Our current method of camera installation is slow and bulky. I was hoping you'd come up with some alternatives for me, seeing as you're not directly familiar with the materials involved."

Jade nodded, "I'll see what I can come up with," she said.

The wolf rose. "My thanks. I'll have Cameron, my personnel director, help you with the move later today. What shall I have him call you?"

Jade hesitated. She was afraid to be out around so many people, to be out at her place of work. It scared her, not knowing who would hate her just on principle, or worse, think she was just pathetically delusional. More than anything though, she was tired. "Jade," she said.

---

Jade's first week after the move was a frenzy. Her new tent was smaller, and had two cots in it. The first night, the other was empty, but she knew that would change before long. She didn't even make it to the second night before getting a roommate.

He was a clueless badger, short and stocky, but still stood a few inches taller than Jade. He was a new medic, hired to assist Dr. Willow patch up the explorers. It became clear after the last mission that she needed a larger team, but they were still struggling to find a second surgeon. Jade had a precious few days of peace before the badger realized she was trans. Then the endless questions started. Jade put up with it as best she could, and took solace that he at least still respected her pronouns. He was just naive, which wasn't inherently a crime. Regardless, she found herself spending more and more time at work to avoid him.

Her new station was the equipment tent, and she felt instantly at home. She discovered a 3d printer hidden in the back, and immediately got to work. The first hurdle was relearning how to type and use the mouse with one hand, and her off hand at that. It was slow progress, and slower work once she got the hang of it. It was frustrating beyond words, and more than once, Jade broke down in tears, just wanting her good arm back. One of her peers, Gabe was his name, did a lot to help her learn, and his presence was reassuring. She found herself getting less upset while he was around, though whether that was from his calming nature, or a reluctance to get emotional around him, she couldn't tell.

Word on the grapevine was the exploration team was having a hard time hiring new personnel, now back down to two members. It was a double edged sword for Jade. On the one hand, she hated progress stalling out on overcoming the Manor, but on the other hand, it gave her more time to work on her project. After a week of prototyping, she went to Master Galleus with her finished model.

"I ran through a few ideas, a suction cup was the easiest since it's both quick, and strong, but there's so much dust inside you can't guarantee a seal."

The wolf nodded, eyeing the plank of wood she'd brought with her. "I take it you have a working model, then?"

Jade nodded and pulled an object from her pocket. The black plastic disk was sized similar to a hockey puck, but much taller. "This is just the base, I still need to attach a mount to it, but wanted your approval before I put in the hours," Jade said. She turned the base over, and showed the Master three holes in its bottom. "These are where the anchors come out."

The wolf nodded again. Jade handed the base to Master Galleus, then set the board across the arms of one of the extra chairs before him. "Press it against the wood with your palm firmly, and twist the side, it should rotate with some resistance. It's gonna kick, so put your weight into it."

The wolf studied the puck curiously, then did as instructed. A deafening crack rang through the office, leaving both their ears ringing. To Jade's surprise, the wolf flinched away from the bang. The device had bucked up some as he let go of it, but that was fine. Jade could show the result better.

"Screws are more stable, but not worth the effort. I picked two-inch nails, three of them will hold the weight of the camera plenty well. To make sure it holds, I have them angled slightly inwards."

The wolf carefully lifted the board up and inspected the gap between the puck and the wood. Three shiny metal rods now held it firmly in place. "This deploys in seconds," the wolf said, awed.

Jade nodded. "The firing mechanisms are just .22 rounds set in metal cylinders. They're placed inside as it's 3d printing. The nails are similarly fit with a thin layer of plastic holding them up."

"Small caliber, minimal risk of being used against us by the shades. I am concerned with the length of the nails though," the wolf said.

"How so?"

"Say someone tried to deploy this against another explorer's chest, this could very easily pierce a lung, or for someone your size, perhaps even the heart."

Jade scowled, a dark look crossed her face. "They would... That kind of stuff happens?"

The wolf nodded. "It's common enough to account for. Any hidden animus or friction between team members will be magnified. We do our best to avoid that kind of conflict when hiring, but I'm not comfortable with this device as is."

"Fuck..."

"Can you make it work with shorter nails, perhaps?"

Jade ran what numbers she could in her head. "Maybe, I'd have to redesign it entirely."

"Then do so, this is the most promising development we've had in months. If you can get this to a state where it can only deal surface wounds, I will deploy it immediately."

Jade went back to work with more fervor, refining her prototype over another week. The final model got approval just as word came down that they'd hired a third explorer. Time was counting down. She had been largely working by herself, and it seemed her peers did the same. There were two other Personnel on the equipment team, at least when it came to those working in the tent. Dozens worked logistics, sourcing parts, materials, and gear, and venturing out to acquire or order them in. The internal parlance was "Engineers" for the design team, even if none of them had the degree for it.

Jade herself only had a computer science degree, a background with AV work, and the patience to teach herself new skills off the internet. She had done the latter to work their 3d printer in the first place, using blender at first, then moving on to a more specialized software meant for prototyping machine parts.

Then there was Gull, a hyena with a chip on their shoulder. Jade liked Gull right away, immediately feeling safer at the sight of the collection of pride pins on their gear bag. Gull was nonbinary, and Jade was eternally depressed by the gossip over their assigned gender at birth. They didn't talk much, but that was fine, she could tell Gull was comfortable around her as well, they were just quiet. Jade also appreciated the insane work Gull had put in to present flawlessly androgynous. Gull's previous trade was as a mechanic, and thus spent much of their time maintaining the company vehicles, but their duties ranged widely. They were in charge of designing and constructing their work tents now, as each building had custom needs. They were neck deep in the process of overhauling the medical tent, adding more rooms, privacy, and a better surgery environment.

The last Engineer was Gabe, a big round brown bear with arms as thick as tree branches. Gabe had no degree, but described himself as "eternally curious". Gabe's actual talent was everything, though he was an expert in nothing in particular. Many gossiped over his qualifications, but Jade understood his fit on the team. Gabe was special even if he wasn't the best. His easy going nature, and plastic skillset meant he fit on any project, and could always help no matter where he was placed. He was the one that got Jade started with the 3d modeling software, even if her knowledge quickly outstripped his own as she learned. His official responsibilities varied, but he was in charge of the camp's internet and wifi,and he was an electrician, plumber, repair man, and overall good hugger. Gabe was a treasure, even if it was hard to see his worth in individual tasks. His only weakness was a fondness for alcohol, but he kept his drinking to the weekend, and by himself. Cameron took him into Coleville, and drove him back each time.

Jade spent another week adjusting her base to attach to the cameras they used, which was easy if tedious work. Midway through the project, the Master called on her again. She went to his office mid-day, now much less nervous around him. As she stepped inside, she saw the room was unlit with the curtains drawn. The wolf sat leaning forward at his desk, intently staring at the static on the monitors.

"Close the door please," he said, not taking his eyes off the screens. Jade obliged and walked over, her gaze also drawn to the static. "You have a similar level to mine, I was hoping you'd be able to verify something."

Jade scowled, and pulled a chair up. She had already been through two blood transfusions since starting, and both times left her feeling exhausted and nauseous. "Something to do with the Manor, I take it?"

The wolf nodded. "They... They show me things sometimes," he said, his voice distant. Jade's eyes fell to the screens again and narrowed. Something moved inside the snow, but she couldn't be sure it wasn't her eyes seeking a pattern.

"You said yourself the shades aren't intelligent," Jade said.

"I don't think they are," the wolf said, "The house though..."

Jade watched the static for a while, waiting for something to happen. "You sure you're okay boss? It sounds like it's getting inside your head. Do we have anything indicating intelligent actors inside?"

"Not much, but you've seen it. The static is deliberate, something is forcing the cameras to output this, but every once in a while, while the Manor's sleeping, I'll glimpse something through them, like it's slipping or showing me."

The static dimmed slightly, and a noise hissed through the speakers, a voice, a word. "Please," the whisper pleaded. Jade's hand clenched tight around the arm of the chair. She saw a room, for only a second. She hadn't seen details, color, furniture, anything, but she saw four walls and an open doorway.

"Shit," Jade hissed.

"You too then," the wolf said sadly. "Until now, I wasn't sure if I could trust my senses."

"I wouldn't trust them on principle, boss, we're both pretty fucked up."

The wolf leaned back in his chair, visibly relaxing. "True. A hallucination is unreliable. A shared hallucination, that is a message. Now we just need to decipher it."

"It's clearly baiting you in."

"Perhaps, but perhaps not. We know what the Manor does, but not why or how. It's still premature to assign motive to it despite its inhabitants."

Jade set her jaw, and thought silently for a minute. "Did you recognize the room?"

"That was the kitchen," he said, "And it is there, I will be directing the team to install the next camera."

"Wait, is that why we went for the Master Bedroom?"

The wolf nodded. "Partly. Initially, that was the reason, but it seemed the shadows resisted us more aggressively around it. I had hoped it held something, something worth defending or hiding, but unfortunately it was just another room, at least so far."

Jade was silent for a while. A question burned in her mind, one she'd had since coming here, but one that seemed pointless to ask. Now though, she had to know. "Master Galleus, what is the history of the Manor? What do you know?"

The wolf's eyes grew distant. He sighed. "My family has owned the lot for generations, going back before written records. The Manor itself has been rebuilt four or five times, but always on the same land. My wealth was not gotten through moral means, the Galleus fortune was made on the backs of exploitation, espionage, and cold blooded murder. Fate put me as the sole surviving heir though, and I've been using the money to erase our legacy.

"We didn't know the manor was dangerous until I tried to sell it. We learned about its active phase shortly after failing to get inside during the day. Ten people died that night. We have no record of its last occupants, but I have no doubt its current state is a result of my family's actions. Whether it's tied to our success, or just another extension of their cruelty remains unknown. I wouldn't be surprised to find the proof of some dark deal with evil powers at the root of it, when dealing with the supernatural it is supremely difficult to rule out possibilities. What remains true regardless is that my family built this house, and I will tear it down."

Jade was quiet for a time, not surprised, but still disappointed. Of course he didn't know more than her, it was a mission liability to withhold key information.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling," Master Galleus said, "I had one other matter I wished to consult you on. We've hired a fourth, a second person with burglar expertise to supplement Maxine's skills, this slot has replaced your previous role on the team. We'll set the camera up to broadcast before going in, and with your new deployment method, anyone can mount it."

"Just doing my part."

"We're struggling to fill our fifth slot though, I like to call them the Breaker. We need someone who can open doors without tools, preferably without their hands either. We generally prefer equine and ursine individuals for the role, but we're running up against a deadline. Both of our new hires have other obligations coming due, meaning if we are unable to hire a fifth, we'll be back to square one again."

"I don't really know anyone outside of camp, if you're asking."

The wolf hesitated, looking vulnerable for the briefest moment before setting his jaw. "What is your opinion of Nathan?" he asked bluntly.

Jade's heart skipped a beat. "I..." she hesitated, she hadn't even sorted her feelings out for herself yet.

"Let me rephrase, do you think he is capable of performing his former duties without risk to the safety of the team? I understand there were multiple incidents, but we're desperate. His experience is valuable, and there's the other matter of what he did after he went inside. He... Well, he appeared to push the shadow off of you. I never got a chance to properly debrief with him, your safety was a top priority; which is why I'm asking you."

"I... I don't know," Jade said.

"My original plan was to have his quarters quarantined from the rest, separate showers, separate meal prep, separate everything. However, I know that plan would be vetoed by my partner, Dr. Willow. And I can't blame her. I would very much like to tell her you authorized it, but I will not lie to her."

Jade thought silently for a while. It was all well and good to ask permission, but he was certainly being pushy about it. She knew he was desperate though, they both wanted the same thing, she couldn't blame him. She made her decision, and nodded. "You have his personnel file still, right?"

The wolf nodded.

"I need to see him then. Give me a week, a car, and give me Gabe," Jade said, "I'll bring him myself, if it comes to that."

The Master hesitated. "You're asking for two critical personnel to be off site for extended leave, you understand Gull will be responsible for everything, yes?"

"I know, I'm sorry, but I need Gabe there because he's the only guy I can think of who could clean Nathan's clock, apart from the Doctor herself."

Master Galleus cracked a smile. "I see. I'll allow it then, we're up against a wall."

---

The apartment was set in a shitty building off of an alley in the city. They were two days out from Coleville, and shacked up in a shitty motel of their own in the meantime. "You really sure he's still here?" Gabe asked, eyeing the building with suspicion. "I'd be living somewhere better after what you folk got paid."

"He's here," Jade said, still doubting herself despite the front. Her arm had healed from the amputation, and most of her stitches had come out. She was in much better shape than before, though she now had a wicked collection of scars breaking her fur. She liked to think she looked badass, but she knew better. She couldn't even talk tough. In her palm she held a remote, the receiver of which was clipped to Gabe's wide belt. It was fixed to her wrist with a slip-up band, in case she dropped it. One press of the button would set the siren off, and all three-hundred pounds of Gabe would come running. Jade double checked the apartment number one last time, and handed the dossier to Gabe. She was wearing capris and a white blouse, with a padded vest over the front for warmth. It struck her that this was technically the first time she'd been out in public in girl mode, but it was a mundane realization. It felt natural to her now, after so many weeks dressing how she liked in camp.

She left Gabe leaning against the company car, and stepped through the glass door into the lobby. Walls of mailboxes flanked her on either side, some popped open and filled with trash. Ahead was an access door with a dial buzzer next to it. She approached the number pad, and saw there was no directory nearby. Looking down, she saw the door was propped open with a piece of cardboard, wedged into the frame to block the latch. She debated going in without buzzing, wondering if she should give him time to prepare, and decided against it. She needed him raw. As she reached for the door, a wave of dizziness struck her, leaving her veins itching. Even this far from the Manor, she wasn't free from its poison. She shook her head clear, and pulled the handle.

The stairwell was sheer concrete, and Jade regretted not wearing sandals or something to keep the floor from stealing her heat through her paws. She struggled to keep warm as it was thanks to her HRT, and losing an entire limb only made that worse. By the time she reached the fourth floor, she was shivering. She read off the door numbers as best as she could down the hall, but some of them were missing plates. As she feared, she didn't see the number she was looking for. She retraced her steps, counting doors instead of reading, and came to a stop before a worn particle-board door.

It was flimsy at best, Gabe would have no trouble breaking through if needed, even without the fire ax they'd brought in the trunk. She didn't think she would need Gabe to save her, but she needed him there nonetheless. The fact that he could, gave her confidence, something she was sorely lacking in the first place. The front of the door was badly scratched with either keys, a knife, or both. It had been painted over multiple times, but only a single coat. The graffiti hidden beneath was still very much radable, although faint. Jade didn't need to try, because someone else had scored the same sentiment into the wood through the most recent layer of paint. "FAGGOT," left behind by a knife by the looks of it. That one would withstand a few layers of paint at least.

Jade took a strange comfort in that, she couldn't help but feel sympathy for anyone who lived behind such a door. Slowly, she raised her hand, and rapped her knuckles on the door, letting the remote dangle free from her palm.

Someone moved inside, and initially, Jade worried she'd found the wrong room. Then the heavy clop of hooves made their way towards the door. It opened slightly, and its owner peaked through the gap past two chains. Jade's heart skipped a beat at the sight of Nathan's brown eyes, mirroring her own anxiety back at her. They shot wide, and the door all but slammed shut. Jade initially thought he'd left her, but heard him cursing softly as he desperately fumbled with the chains. A few seconds later, the door opened fully, and Nathan stood before her in nothing but a tanktop and gym shorts. His arm was now in a cast, and his hand had a wicked scar across the top, much like Jade's own.

"Hi," Jade said softly.

"Hi," Nate said, then struggled for a few seconds. "Do you... Do you want to come in? Or...?"

Jade nodded, and Nate stepped aside. Jade stepped slowly into the apartment as a wave of heat hit her, a relief from the chill in the hall. It was small, a kitchenette, bathroom, and a living space. A large cot sat in one corner, and a small couch in the other. Jade was struck by how clean it all was, but she supposed part of that was it's sparseness. A pleasant smell hit her, cinnamon and ginger, and she spotted the candle burning in the kitchen. There was a small TV on a stand across from the TV. There were some hand weights near the bed on a neat stand, larger than you'd normally find in a home, but still light for what she knew the horse could do. She turned slowly back to face Nate, who was shuffling back and forth between hooves nervously.

"First time having a girl over?" Jade asked, trying and failing to sound confident. Nate laughed anyway, breaking some of the tension.

"You look good," Nate said awkwardly. "I'm sorry I..."

Jade shook her head, frowning. She felt his eyes sitting heavy on her left arm, or what was left of it. Her blouse had short sleeves, the ragged scar on the end was out for all to see. She wondered briefly at her luck, to be both left handed, and lose her left arm. Nearly anyone else with the same injury would have at least kept their dexterity. "They didn't send me, at least not directly," she said plainly.

Nate nodded slowly, but said nothing.

"They're desperate, and are struggling to fill your role. They asked me what I think, and I'm here to figure that out."

"Makes sense," Nate said.

"So," Jade said, and looked at Nate expectantly.

The mottled stallion stood awkwardly for a few moments, then took a deep breath. "I suppose I should apologize, but I already did. I suppose you want to know what I was thinking, and the truth is I wasn't," Nathan said, and paused. He swallowed and forced himself to continue. "Being honest, I feel terrible. I wanted to help, but that was just what I wanted. You can believe me or not, that's your right."

"I believe you," Jade said, despite herself. Nate held up his hand, and shook his head.

"I'm being honest though, that's not the whole story. I told you what I did to Keller, but there's more."

Jade nodded, and waited for him.

"I left the showers, and went to be alone. I wanted to be alone, because I was afraid of myself, of losing control and hurting people. The fox saw me though, and followed me out. He came on to me, and I knew he was just after my size. He saw a big dumb horse with a fat... well... I don't say that so you feel bad for me, it's important. He saw me as meat, and I was mad, and hurt, and just... I was horny, I can't deny it. I took him up, and I tried to hurt him. I tried to hurt him with the thing he was after, and I'm so lucky I didn't. We used each other, and I gave him just what he wanted in the end. Then I crossed the line with you too. I've been... I've basically been sitting here since, afraid to go out, afraid to see people, afraid to hurt them. I don't know if I can go back, even if you forgave me."

"I get that part," Jade said, "The people only seeing you for your cock thing."

Nathan nodded, but said nothing. He kept his eyes low to the ground.

"You can still help though," Jade said, stepping close. Her body wanted to be near him. "Those same things you're scared of, you can use them in there. You can break and smash, and still help people. It does get easier, if it helps. I can feel it all the time, but I still have control, I'm still me."

Nathan's eyes met her own, and she saw him then. Not the horse, not the man, but the person, sacred and alone, and keeping it that was for a noble idea. Jade took another step towards him, wanting to see further into those eyes.

"You don't have to be alone," Jade said. Her body was burning, but she held it back. She was in control, despite her urges. She knew why she'd come now, she still felt the same way she had that night. That urge hadn't left, just gotten more complicated.

Nate looked down at her, struggling. She could see what he wanted, and how much he was afraid of it. She would show him then, that he could let himself go without breaking things. She placed her hand on his cheek, and savored the warmth flowing from his body into her. She held his eyes with her own, speaking without words, waiting for a sign. Nate swallowed, and nodded the tiniest bit. Jade slid her hand around his head, threading her fingers through the short hairs of his mane, and pulled him down to her. His powerful body bent like cloth at her touch, and Jade pressed her mouth into his.

Jade closed her eyes, reading his thoughts through his lips. It was cool, and awkward at first, Nate still held back. Fire poured from his body into her, warming her, and she poured it back into him. He leaned into her, gently at first, but more forceful by the second. His arm slid around her, and pulled her against him, not seeking her body, but seeking her warmth. Jade melted against him, and was startled back into herself by his tongue probing her mouth. She wrapped her arm around his neck, and met it with her own. They spent what felt like an eternity just tasting each other until Nate finally pulled back, breathlessly. Jade looked up at him, smiling like an idiot. She would be happy to leave it at that, if that's what Nate wanted, but she hoped he wanted more.

Nate looked down on her, the fear in his eyes replaced with fire. Jade felt like she could get lost in those eyes. He struggled for words again, but Jade already knew what he wanted to say. She nodded to him, and he smiled giddily. A new look crossed his face, and he finally found words.

"How do we... Uh... How are we gonna..."

Jade blinked, realizing for the first time their actual size difference. She looked down at his shorts, appraising his bulge. He wasn't hard, not yet, but she already knew there was going to be a problem. "Right, yeah, he's not going inside me," she said.

Nate stood awkwardly for a bit, thinking hard until an idea struck him. "Wait," he said, and picked Jade up without thinking. She started giggling immediately. He carried her to the cot and set her down on the edge. His hand dipped to her pants, and fumbled with the button. Jade's own hand joined it, and together they got her free. Her panties were already damp at the front, and her cock peeked out over the top.

"How do you want me to... How can I...," Nate struggled to phrase the question right. Jade understood anyway.

"Just don't jerk it or suck it is all," she said. She hated drawing attention to it, but it was necessary at least for the first time.

Nate nodded, and gently pulled her panties down. Jade lifted her legs, and let him pull them off. Her cock was small, free of its sheath, and looked like it was struggling to be fully erect. Nate seemed to hesitate for a moment, then dipped his muzzle between her thighs. Jade closed her eyes and tensed, unsure what to expect. Nate's thick, broad tongue dragged itself from her taint up her shaft, sending a shudder through her whole body. Nate paused and looked up to her. Jade caught his eyes again, and nodded for him to continue.

Nate set to work again, lapping her up in thick heavy strokes. Jade's breath came faster and faster, and soon she was moaning high and soft, almost a whimper. Her cock tingled with pleasure, and the feeling spread to the rest of her body. Her nipples grew hard beneath her blouse, and she dipped her hand underneath to cup her own breasts. HRT had made her nipples especially sensitive, and now she was unable to keep her hands off.

Nate shifted slightly, and Jade looked down to see him freeing his impressive member from his shorts. He began to beat it slowly with his hand as he went down on her, and suddenly it was all too much. Jade bucked suddenly with a sharp cry, and frantically ran her hand over Nate's head and shoulder. Nate looked up in surprise as Jade's cock sprung to full mast and came, throbbing against his tongue as it leaked a clear fluid. Jade shuddered to a stop as the wave subsided, but her mast only softened slightly.

Nate smiled up at her, something awkward clearly on his mind.

"What?" Jade asked, between gasps.

"This is gonna sound like bull, but you taste like pussy," he said, trying not to smile too much.

Jade smiled and laid back. "Thank the hormones. I'm sure you noticed, but it works a lot differently now."

"I also noticed that uh... your... well..."

"That was surgery, not the hormones," Jade said. Her eyes slipped down to his cock again. "Now what are we going to do about you?"

"I've got an idea," Nate said. He rose, and placed himself between Jade's legs. All eight inches of his meat towered over her, and Jade craved to feel it inside her. She knew it wouldn't work, not without proper prep. Nate lifted her legs, surprising her. He brought her knees together, and held her legs straight up against his chest. He pressed his manhood against her bottom, still wet from his tongue, and for a brief exhilarating moment, Jade thought he was going to go for it. She wanted him to, but she was only slightly disappointed when it slid wetly through her legs, crushed between her thighs. Jade stifled another moan as his staff pressed against her own, crushing it with wet heat. She was ready to go again already, her refractory period was also gone thanks to the hormones. She squeezed her thighs around him, spurring him to start.

Nate started slow, pumping his cock in and out, and picked up speed as it got wetter. Jade's own cock was ever-slick with pre, and coated his shaft eagerly, begging him to continue. His breath came sharp, and he let out a groan as he picked up speed, and Jade's own moans joined him. She began squeezing his cock each time he pulled back, trying to hold him close, and bucked her hips up into his as the pleasure overwhelmed her.

Jade knew he wouldn't last long, and reached for his shaft with her hand. She wrapped her hand around it as best she could, and held it close to her body as she jerked him off. She want to feel it, all of it against her, and imagined it buried inside her, that he was fucking her properly. It was too much, she came again with a cry. She clenched tight around his cock, riding it for dear life as her shaft sprayed its clear prize, making his all the more slick. Nate shouted, and came as well. Jade instinctively opened her mouth, trying to catch it, to take some of it inside her, but was overwhelmed by the force. A thick rope of cum painted her face and chest, soaking through her shirt in an instant. Her mouth overran with it, and he painted the rest of her face with two more spurts before dribbling out his last thick dollop over her waist.

Jade lay incensed and overwhelmed for a few seconds, sputtering for breath. Dimly, she thought she should feel dirty, but her afterglow, and the sheer warmth of the mess just felt right. Nate pulled back, and his wilting member slid free of her thighs. Jade wanted to grab it, to make it come back, to make it hard again, but she knew he needed rest. Nate collapsed against the bed, letting his head come to rest on her stomach. Idly, she played with his mane while he caught his breath.

"I... I'm sorry, I haven't actually been able to cum since that night after the Manor," Nate finally said once he had his breath. "It sounds like bragging, but I need both hands to get off."

Jade smiled and stroked his chin. "Nothing to apologize for," she said. Silence fell between them, and the mood cooled with the cum covering her. "Will you come back?" Jade asked, finally asking the question she'd come for.

"I'm scared, I won't lie," Nate said low, "If I do, it would be for you, and that scares me more."

"I'm not on the expedition team anymore. I'm firmly backline," Jade said. It wasn't much reassurance. "I... I have to tell you something too, something embarrassing. I haven't had sex since I started transition. I've not been on a date since well before that. This was the first time I've cum with someone since... God ten years. This was the first time I've had sex as a woman."

Nate looked up at her, something dark in his eyes, some sadness. Jade worried she'd said too much, it was a lot to drop on someone at once, especially right after sex. Nate nodded, and said nothing for a time, letting his head rest against her belly again. Finally, reluctantly, he said it. "I'll come back."

---

The dog approached the chalk line in the grass, the rest of the team at his flanks. To his right was the cat, and the horse. The cat had a sour look on her face, clearly unhappy with the situation, but she said nothing. To his left, the ferret, and then the sphinx. She was a cat too, but she looked so radically different from the others that he couldn't help but think of her that way. Her pale skin looked soft, but wrinkled, and most of it lay hidden under her thick turtleneck sweater.

"We go when it opens, our target is the kitchen. Straight shot back, in and out," the dog said.

"Don't get too comfortable," the cat warned, "It can get lethal in seconds."

"Got it," the sphinx said, already holding the camera in its mount.

In his office, the wolf sat in his chair, waiting for the static to clear. Twelve monitors in a row blasted the snowy white, while a thirteenth on top showed a feed of the front of the Manor, shaking slightly in its bearer's hands. Behind him stood two women, a mare and a rat, the latter was missing her left arm below the elbow. The rat had a laptop set up on a table nearby, with cables snaking to and from the monitors. She kept her eyes busy, flicking between the screen and the monitors, but it did little to still her shaking hand. The mare kept her eyes on a clipboard in her hands, reading and re-reading her notes.

"How're you feeling?" the wolf asked, his voice steady.

"Fine," the rat said, lying badly. She kept glancing at the live monitor, trying to see the stallion through its lens. Through the feed, the door of the Manor slowly opened, and the camera lurched forward. The other twelve monitors leapt to life, showing dark rooms and hallways.

The wolf reached for the intercom. "Foyer appears clear, advance with caution."

One by one, the team slipped inside and spread out inside the entryway. One by one, they moved inside, towards the back hall, and out of sight of the cameras. The new feed showed their progress as they went further inside. The rat flinched at each glimpse of the stallion, her hand shaking all the more each time.

"This isn't good," the wolf said beneath his breath. The rat looked over first to him, then the monitors. "There's nothing showing." He hesitated, then reached for the mic. "Caution team, no shades sighted. Something's not right."

A voice familiar to the rat came through the new feed. "Your call Keller," the stallion said.

On the screen, the dog looked towards the cat, who smiled and nodded. The dog smiled back. "No, we got this. In and out."

The kitchen came into sight on the feed, and the cat and ferret slipped inside. Knife blocks and boxes cluttered the counters, making the rat feel uneasy.

"Clear," the cat said, and the camera lurched forward. The feed rushed into a corner, then turned and inverted. The upside down face of the sphinx came into view, wearing a serious scowl as ever. The rat flicked a few keys on her laptop, and the feed righted itself as it rose towards the ceiling. The kitchen came fully into view, showing all five explorers and two doorways. One led to a hall, the other was shut.

"That's the basement, still off limits," the wolf said, almost to himself.

A bang came from the monitor, the feed lurched and the team all ducked. The sphinx stepped back, coming fully into view for the first time. The wolf depressed the mic button again.

"Good job everyone," he said, but froze as he let go of the button. The explorers all saw it too. The basement door clicked, and slowly drifted open.

"Keller?" the stallion asked nervously.

The darkness beyond the door had a physical quality to it, and rippled like water. "Beat it!" the dog shouted, too late.

Something red flashed from the portal, catching the ferret in the middle. He fell without a sound as a spray of blood erupted from his back. The Manor began screaming, and blood started pouring from its seams. The rat began shouting "Fuck" over and over. The surviving team ducked into the hall and went off screen. The wolf snarled, but remained seated as the shadow clawed itself from the basement towards the hall, picking up speed.

"Fucking run!" the cat's voice came from the foyer camera feed. The sphinx came into view first at a sprint, and ducked as something crashed loudly in the back hall behind her. She beat feet to the door as the Stallion came into view. The rat covered her mouth at the sight of him.

"Go go go!" the dog yelled, bringing up the middle, with the cat close behind.

The shadow came into view next, slithering through the pooling blood that swamped the Manor. It paused at the stairs, fixing its gaze on the dog. A hole opened up in its middle, something red was visible inside. The dog turned, spotting it too late. The cat looked to the stallion, and the two exchanged a look.

The dog reeled back, realizing his position. Weakly, he brought his hands up in a pathetic attempt to block the shot. The red object lanced out from the shadow's mouth. A sickening crunch rang through the feed, the dog screamed as blood exploded from the wound.

"No!" the dog shrieked, "No! No! No!"

The cat lay before him, a red spear-like object pierced her middle. She had no last word, no last loving look. Her eyes were dark, the light gone as her blood and insides painted the floor. The dog collapsed, soaked in her blood, and the stallion dove for him. He yanked the dog's arm, but he refused to move. The dog clung to the cat desperately, trying to pull her back.

"I'm sorry," the stallion said, and struck him upside the face. The dog's head snapped back from the force, and he let go of the cat. The shadow's mouth yawned open, readying another spear as the stallion yanked the dog up. He went limp in the horse's arm, and the stallion sprinted out of frame for the door. The spear let fly, arcing after them in a flash.

The rat shrieked. "Nate!"

The mare covered her mouth. The wolf snarled as he gripped his cane, straining to snap it over his knee. Two awful seconds of silence followed, then a blast shook the office trailer. The rat screamed and covered her head as the mare dove for the ground, dragging the wolf with her. Silence hung in the air after, and the rat dared to look. The wall facing the Manor had dented in from the impact, the tip of the spear had punched through the metal and fiberglass, but got caught. It had missed the window by inches. The rat broke into a run, leaving the mare and wolf behind as she made for the door.

The usual crowd had scattered, no one wanted to go near the line, to go near the door, but the rat charged on regardless. She saw him, and wept with relief. The stallion dragged the dog the rest of the way over the line as the door to the Manor gently clicked shut. The rat collided with the stallion at a sprint, barely rocking him with her full weight, and sobbed against him.

"No!"

The dog rose, and sprinted back to the Manor. The stallion grabbed for him, but missed. He looked at the rat, then back, and turned. He squeezed her shoulder tightly once, and went back across the line.

The dog hit the door with his shoulder. A satisfying crack greeted him, and for a moment he felt victory, until the pain hit and he realized what had broken. He screamed and pounded the door with his remaining arm. It refused to even rattle. The stallion came up behind him calmly, sadly.

"Keller," he said, loud but gentle.

"No!" the dog refused to cede.

"Keller!"

The dog whined, a sob so ragged it was almost a croak dragged itself out of him. His eyes seized on something on the porch, something left behind. He scrambled for the hammer, and went to the window. "Max!" he screamed, trying to see her through the window. It was no use. The house slept, its eyes were shut. "Max please!" his voice broke, unable to keep its volume through the pain and tears. He slammed the hammer against the glass. He sobbed again, as the truth sank its fangs into him. He couldn't bring himself to swing again, he couldn't bring himself to stand. He slid to the porch in a wet puddle, drenched in other people's blood. The stallion approached, and gently lifted him up. The dog got his paws beneath him, barely, and let himself be led away. The medics took him at the line, and the horse returned to the rat.

The rat stared up at him, stunned by the pain on his face. He was crying, even if he refused to make a sound. Suddenly he hugged her, and held her tight. He buried his face in her shoulder, and shook as he sobbed silently against her. The rat held him back, fighting her own tears.

The wolf finally emerged from the trailer to inspect the spear, and found the sphinx doing the same. She had left the group, and seemed oddly calm. They shared a knowing look.

"What do you make of it?" the wolf asked.

"It's a message," the sphinx said, "Stop, or else."

The wolf took a shuddering breath, and composed himself. He leveled his gaze on the sphinx, then the Manor. "We're past stopping," he said coldly.

The sphinx nodded, saying nothing.