Heart broken and guilty
#3 of High School Buds
_Adam had been sitting in the private waiting room for close to two hours, Ximen's parents had arrived only forty-five minutes ago, his own arriving just a few moments. Adam was watching the clock, tears had long but ended. He had locked away the pain, not even so much as blinking as he awaited to hear of his friend's fate. Every person who walked down the hall that looked anything like a doctor made both women grab their husband's hands in hopes that Ximen was going to be ok. Close to 15 doctors had passed before a female nurse, seeming to be human walked in. She was still wearing the hair cap and a paper face mask from surgery, a small form was being wheeled down the hall into intensive care, a tabby cat's tail hanging down the side of the bed between the bars.
"Mister and Misses Jaquara?" The nurse asked, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow as she saw them nod. "He's going to make it... He's lost a lot of blood but he's going to be ok." She said quietly, looking to Adam for a few moments. "He wanted to see his friend Adam when he woke up... If I can take him to see him now.. That might be the place to start for getting better...." She said quietly, understanding why everyone stayed silent, joyous tears flowing from everyone's eyes but Adam's.
"Go ahead Adam... Let us know how he is when you two get done talking..." Ximen's mom said quietly, reaching across her husband to pat him on the back. Adam's parents watched him, concern showing deep within their eyes. They were beginning to think something more was going on other than a pair of friends sitting out in the woods. Maybe a gang, maybe they had got caught up in drugs or something much worse. None of their thoughts were any where close to homosexuality.
"I'll go..." Adam said quietly to the nurse, slowly undoing the brakes on his wheelchair to wheel out himself. When the nurse came near him to help him he growled, a slight snarl hitting his muzzle causing the nurse to jump back, giving a nervous smile back to the boys parents before walking on. "I'll be out in a few to go home..." He mumbled as he wheeled out of the room, driving the chair as if he had been in one for his whole life.
"Room Four.." The female said quietly before going back to the nurses station, watching the large glass window into Ximen's room closely, while a few other miscellaneous souls watched the 10 other rooms of the circular hallway.
Adam gave the nurse a small snort, showing he understood as the chair was slowly wheeled through the door frame slowly, eyes scanning the room. Bleach and sickness were all Adam could smell, barely any of the feline's scent had survived the ordeal. Two small ears flicked atop Ximen's head, but silence remained in the room. Adam could only sit and watch Ximen, fake anger replacing the sadness and self-blame Adam was suffering.
After a few moments of an almost eerie silence Adam finally decided to speak. "You ok?" He asked, voice harsh, completely opposite of what it had been in the woods just a few hours ago.
"Yea.. Adam, l-listen.." Ximen started nervously, eyes had remained close, head tilted to look up to the ceiling. A tube giving him oxygen rested taped against his nose, running up around his ears and back down to meet before running on to a connection on the wall. "I.. I'm sorry for g-getting you into this..." Ximen mumbled, shaking his head slightly, resting both arms across his stomach. He had been tucked into a sheet from his armpits down to cover the bandage that now rested around his chest.
"Ximen... We can't be friends anymore..." Adam mumbled, directing his eyes to the window on the other side of the room. "My parents probably know something's up and I don't know how my Dad will react to this... Football season starts as soon as I get my cast off for me and I can't have you following me around anymore.." Adam added, looking back to the form laying in the bed, eyes following his bodice closely to take in every detail, lingering on the long, bushy tail hanging down to brush against the floor.
Ximen made no other sound, holding the conversation on pause for a few moments as he took in everything Adam had said. Was it true? Had he lost his Body guard? His best friend? His secrete love?
"Adam, please... I kn-know that isn't true... Please... I still want to be fro-"
"Stop, just stop!" Adam roared, slamming a fist down on the arm of a wheel chair making Ximen and a few of the nurses jump outside of the room; dent created in the middle of the arm.
"Adam... Pl-Please..." Ximen begged, tears welling in his closed eyes but he never once look over to Adam, trying to compose himself so Adam didn't see him crying.
Adam only backed out of the room silently, keeping his head held high and a jock attitude against twinks in his head. Adam looked to the nurse as he turned around to head back to the door quickly, as if threatening to break through the door unless someone opened the door for him. He wanted to go home and start memorizing some more of the plays for next season trying to act like he didn't care what Ximen thought, trying to convince himself Ximen was only holding himself back from the best football career he could and demanded he have.
The nurse had quickly jumped to her feet and let Adam out, following behind him at a fast jog to walk into the waiting room at the time he wheeled in. She wouldn't question either boy about the argument, but she'd make sure to watch Ximen closely knowing whatever had happened, wouldn't go good for either boy.
"Let's go..." Adam growled to his parents, waiting directly outside the door for his parent's to rise and walk behind him for only a few moments before wheeling off to wait outside the elevator.
"I hope Ximen makes a quick recovery, Susan..." Adam's mom mumbled softly to Ximen's mother, giving her a small pat on the shoulder as she walked with her husband only getting a nod from her before leaving walking at a quick pace to catch Adam.
Ximen's parents slowly made their way into Ximen's room where they found him crying silent tears, no movements other than the slight purse of his lips after taking a sharp breath and the clench of his eyes at vain attempts of holding back the tears. There he would lay, silent and crying until he eventually fell into a restless slumber, nightmares of Adam pulling the trigger to shoot him as the hidden Bull had in the woods. His parents wouldn't say a word, only sitting in a corner side-by-side in two, rock like chairs until it was time they both had to go to work only grasping his hand for a quick moment as to not wake him.
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Adam sat silent, hard glare staring out across the highway. Ears lay flat against his skull, hidden sadness had been locked away, hoping to be forgotten but the feelings for the tabby cat seemed to be getting to him, and quickly. He wouldn't make the trip home without crying at this rate.
"Adam..." His father started off, nudging Adam slightly with his elbow as he drove along to keep his eyes on the road but gain the attention he demanded when he spoke. "I want to know what's going on..."
"Nothing, Dad... Ok?" Adam would snap, head turning to glare at his father for a moment, snort emitted in dominance trying to end the conversation before he had said to much.
"Boy... If it's drugs or a gang you'd better spill right now. If I have to dig into your personal life for the truth I will..." Adam's father growl softly, nudging Adam a bit harsher his patience wearing thin.
"It's not drugs, Dad.." Adam muttered, digging claws into his palm; eyes clenching shut in a desperate attempt to look like a man in front of his parents.
"Then what is it?" Adam's father would demand, looking over to his son as he waited for an answer. Moments passed, only the sound of the air whipping past the car windows was heard. "Adam!"
"I'm gay Dad!" Adam finally screamed at him, tears finally escaping his lashes, soiling his pelt. "Okay? So now you know... I'm... I'm gay..." Adam mumbled, jaw clenched shut as he stared at his father's emotionless face, unblinking eyes staring at the highway. His mother could only emit a small gasp from the back seat, hand moving to cover her eyes for a moment.
The rest of the car ride home was silent; Adam's tears continuing to run down his cheeks, dripping off onto his shirt. As soon as they reached home Adam dragged himself out of the car and to the front door no help offered by his parents. He wouldn't speak a word, using the banister to get down the steps and into his room. He would carefully use a small desk, and a bedside table to get to his bed.
That night, Adam held his cell phone closely to him, afraid something would happen to Ximen and every time it began to ring he would jump, holding his breath until he realized it was only a girl from school asking him out for a useless date. He knew he would have to talk to Ximen, but when could he do it? He couldn't possible leave the house now, it was around one am, and he knew he couldn't call because he hadn't even had time to get Ximen's phone number before yelling at him. He didn't even think Ximen would listen, and his parents wouldn't even let him out of the house now. All he had was some stupid year book with a few pictures of the football team and Ximen always standing in front of him with the team.
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"I'd like to speak with you both before you go into Ximen's room... Adam yelled at Ximen... It seems he doesn't wish to be friends with him anymore... Don't be surprised if Ximen is a little quiet..." The nurse told Ximen's parents quietly before leading them to his room, standing at the door to watch the family for a few moments.
Ximen lay motionless, tears still steadily running from his eyes. What had he done? He had been foolish enough to tell Adam his feelings, and here he lay injured, barely able to breath without massive amounts of pain flowing through his chest like a gun was shot at his chest every time he took in a breath.
"Ximen... We both have to go because work wouldn't let us off... But, Hun... We want you to know we'll talk to Adam for you if you want us too..." His mother would say softly, leaning over to kiss him on the forehead softly.
"N-No mom... J-Just want to g-go home and g-get on with my l-life..." Ximen would mumble, finally looking over at his parents, his father standing silently behind his mother. Concern and worry were heavy in both sets of eyes watching him, but there was nothing more that they could do, so they only gave one last nod to him before leaving around two-thirty in the morning to get at least a few hours rest before work.
Ximen would slowly close his eyes to rest, dreaming only about Adam; the one he so dearly love; the one he wished had never left, yet, in the same sense, he wished he had never truly met._