FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

It's a slow day, thankfully. It's been a long while, but it's finally happened. There are finally less than five customers inside the shop. Now that I think about it, this is probably a weird thing to celebrate, but working on Christmas Eve reminded me how bad things can get. Well, among other things.

I use the time to hum to the music, drumming my fingers on the table and shifting my weight from leg to leg. I make sure to keep an eye on the door as I do. My eyes have been glued to the door for the past fifteen minutes now, and I refuse to acknowledge that that much time has passed. I never liked waiting.

A bump to my shoulder snaps me out of my waiting. The crow beside me gives me a look, an eyebrow raised. I give her an innocent smile in return.

"Who are you waiting for this time?" she asks.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She shakes her head. "You gotta stop hitting on every guy you recommend this coffee shop to. Or recommending this coffee shop to every guy you hit on."

"It works, though. Some of them come back."

"Yeah, but you're still single."

"Maybe it's just flings, Ash. You don't know that."

"Oh yeah? How long did those last? How well did you handle all of them?"

I open my mouth, think of something to say, and close it again. She looks at me, then shakes her head again. "Either you're really horny or you're desperate."

I bump her with my hip. "Don't you have coffees to make?"

"No one has come in for the past twenty minutes, which you should know by now from staring at the door. And you wonder why I know what you're thinking about."

"Come on, Ash. You can leave me alone with my man of the week."

"After what happened with the otter guy--whatshisname? Hardly." She plants her hand on the desk. "Now spill. Name and species."

I'm about to make a retort when the bell chimes. We both turn our heads to the door and I smile. A husky comes in. He's dressed in blue and wearing a bag--there's probably a laptop in there. The thing that catches my attention the most is the glasses he's wearing. It looks cute on him; he should wear that more.

I look at the invisible watch on my wrist. "Oh, would you look at that? I'm on break right now." I walk past Ash to the backroom, fluttering my fingers at her. "Have Kate cover for me, will you?"

She sighs. "Hope this one works for you."

"Of course it will. I'll charm him with my powers."

"Cut it out; you're not that flamboyant."

I give her a flying kiss before disappearing into the backroom. I take my time changing shirts. It's not like he's gonna disappear. I mean, I did invite him to meet me at this time, after all. That, and whatever time we have to meet up is cut short by the holidays and there's no way he'll bail on me right now.

There's also my little trip last November. It's almost been two months and I'm just starting to not think about it too much on that one. I take a deep breath. I'll try not to think about it for the time being.

But isn't that what you're trying to do, I think.

I shake my head and walk back out, giving a smile in Ash's direction on the way. I spot the husky sitting by the window. He has his laptop opened and seems to be busy writing something. I take another deep breath and make my way toward him. His ears flicker in my direction and he looks up at me. God, his smile is cute.

"Hey, Eric," I say. I grab the chair opposite him and sit down. "Happy New Year."

He closes his laptop and turns to me. "Happy New Year to you too. Aren't you working right now?"

I brush him off. "I'm on break right now, don't worry about it. What were you doing?"

"Writing. Felt like I could write a few hundred, so I did."

"Oh. Is this not the right time?"

"It's fine. To be honest, I like people watching me work. Besides, you're the one who invited me here."

I rest my head on my hand playfully. "That's a good trait for someone in your line of work."

Eric gives me a look, furrowing his brows, then chuckles. "Come on, Danny. Don't spill out my secrets here."

I chuckle. "Your secret's safe with me. Now how was the holidays?"

"As usual. Spent it with family and extended family. How about you?"

"Same thing. Spent it with family and... well, friends."

"Did you have a great time?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"So did I."

"Is this the reason for your sudden burst of inspiration right now? To the point that it can't wait?"

He smiles. "Not really, just had the motivation. But I can't deny that happy events get me all excited to write about murder."

"You're kidding."

"You've read my book before. You know I'm serious."

I shake my head. "What were you writing about?"

Eric looks from left to right, probably for effect, then at me. "Can you keep a secret?"

"I mean, I haven't told anyone here about you, so yeah, I think I can keep a secret."

He chuckles. "All right then. It's a new book I'm writing. I'm trying not to plan out this one. See how it goes."

"And how's it working for you?"

"It's complicated. It's going pretty good, but I know it's going to be hell for me to edit."

"Why'd you choose to do this, then?"

Eric shrugs. "I wanted to see what would happen if I flew by the seat of my pants. Guess planning things out kinda bored me. Wanna take a read?"

I nod. "Sure."

He opens the laptop and tilt in my direction. I read the paragraph where he last left off.

"'...as he dragged his leg across the pavement,'" I read aloud. "Man, you weren't kidding."

"Told you." Eric closes the laptop. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask you this."

I sit back properly. "Yeah, what is it?"

"What happened to you last December? You just disappeared off the face of the earth. One day, you're visiting the club like usual, and then you didn't."

I scratch the back of my neck, chuckling. "I was busy. And the burnout got me pretty bad."

"To the point where you can't get out of bed?"

"Yes. The can't get out of bed kind."

He laughs. "Yeah, I get that too."

I take a discreet glance behind me. Ash catches my gaze and she raises her brow at me. I smile and shake my head before turning my attention back to the table. I really need to come up with a one-size-fits-all lie sooner. It's gonna be a headache keeping up with all of them and making sure they don't ask one another.

"Was kinda worried you just dropped out of my life too," Eric says.

Yeah, that feeling sucks, I think.

"Don't worry," I say, leaning closer to him. "You're not getting rid of me that easy. Besides, you look too good when you dress up like a bad boy. I can't resist."

"I'll keep that in mind, then."

"Eric!"

Ash's voice snaps me back to reality, and it does for Eric as well. He gets up.

"That's me," he says.

The husky goes over to the counter and takes the cup. As he turns around, Ash gives me another look. It's not the same as the one she gave me before. I could almost imagine her telling me, "I really, really hope this one works for you."

To be honest, me too.

"I got to say, I really like the vibe this coffee shop is going for," Eric says as he sits down.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I know. The author likes the library-themed coffee shop, but seriously, I like this coffee shop. It's very... green."

"I thought you liked blue."

"Oh, I do. It's just that I've started liking the color green too. This place uses that pretty nicely."

"That's great to hear." I lean back on the chair. "So, what did you do while I was away? Other than celebrating Christmas and New Year's?"

"Went places with my family. That, and I did my best to avoid questions about my sleep cycle."

I chuckle. "Did you have fun?"

"Had a blast for the most part. My all-nighters have finally paid off since I got to make the most of our trips."

"Lucky you."

"Guess you didn't have great time."

"It's not that. I just wished we went on a trip, too."

At least, a trip that doesn't end with a broken friendship.

"That's sucks," Eric says. "Well, you can always make the most of today."

"You have a point."

Eric takes a sip out of his coffee. He then looks at the shelves. "By the way, are those books for aesthetic purposes, or can I read them?"

I turn to a particular shelf he's staring at. "Oh, you can read them. We're not a library, however, so don't take them home."

"That sounds strangely scripted. How many times did you have to say that?"

"Too many to count. I'm getting tired of the people that either forget that or harass us because of it."

"Sounds like a fun time."

"Oh, you should see us on Christmas Eve. Fun times indeed."

He chuckles. "My condolences."

"Yeah. Oh, by the way--" I point to the shelf opposite us. "Your book's over there. We decided to put the books we recommend on the shelves; ordered new ones from the bookstore."

"Thanks for recommending by book again. Do you have any other recommendations?"

"Well, considering it's you... Samuel Cliffs?"

His eyes light up. "Hey, I love that guy. You have one of his books?"

"Yeah, it's right beside yours."

"Man, what an honor." He then excuses himself to go over the shelf and grab the book. I smile when his tail swishes from side to side. He then goes back to the chair and opens the book. "It's my favorite book too."

"I take it that he's an inspiration?"

He nods, a large smile on his face. "Yeah. Especially this book. He's one of the reasons I started writing, and this book kind of awakened my love for horror."

"What a coincidence. He's the one that got me into horror, too."

"Oh man, it's been a while since I last spoke to a fan of Samuel Cliffs, too." He leans forward like he's going to tell me a secret. "I've said this a thousand times now, but this book is his best. It's the most visceral, and the emotions felt so real."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too. When I read it, I felt like I was there. His books already have that effect on me, but this one hit different."

"Yeah."

His tail's wagging so much and he could barely sit properly. Eric looks like he's gonna burst anytime soon. I smile. It's been a while since I was talking to someone this excited about something he's passionate about. It makes me all warm inside. But I would be lying if I said this conversation doesn't feel familiar, and that familiarity doesn't have its fair share of memories. That look in Eric's eyes takes me back so much.

Goddammit, why did I have to remind myself?

Eric places the book neatly on the table. "I'm tempted to give this another read."

"You love the book so much, huh?" I say.

"If my excitement earlier didn't give you any hints, yes, I love this book."

I chuckle. "At least you're self aware."

I look at the table again, and I realize his laptop's gone. He must've put it away while I wasn't looking. He only has the book and his coffee.

"You're not going to write some more?" I ask.

"No," he says. "Like I said, burst of inspiration. I usually write for longer periods of time, though."

"Guess I'll just have to see that."

I realize I have Eric's undivided attention, and I wish I have my own coffee to sip. I lean back as I figure out what to do with my hands.

"Sorry if I kinda left you alone a bit while I wrote," Eric says. "I get caught up in my work sometimes."

"It's fine," I say. "It was worth it, reading more of your work."

"Thanks."

I take a discreet glance at the clock. There's only ten minutes left before I have to go back to work. Gotta make the most of it.

"How are you enjoying this place?" I say, leaning forward. "I'm asking you for various reasons."

He looks at me like he knows I'm trying to bait him. He then smiles. "I'm enjoying it. I like how you have books too. It's a nice touch."

"That's good to know."

"That's enough talk about work for now." Eric rests his elbows on the table, looking at me through his glasses. "What are your hobbies? I never realized I asked you this."

I shifted in my seat. "Well, I play the guitar, for one."

"Really? Who taught you to play?"

"Taught myself, actually. I learned pretty quickly, or so said the people I know."

"Oh, wow. I take it you're pretty talented."

I chuckle, crossing my arms. "Not really. I was trying to impress someone. I wanted to see them get excited at the fact that I can play guitar too."

"Well, were they impressed?"

I remember that moment, when I finally played that song perfectly and in its entirety. The look on his face and how animated he was for the next few hours after that always made me smile. I don't know if it was because he loved that song or because there was another person in his life that could play guitar, but he was still ecstatic either way. I look up at Eric and remember how he was when we talked about his favorite author earlier. It's so uncanny.

"He was," I say. "He was really happy about it."

Eric takes another sip of his coffee and smiles at me. "That's good for you, then."

He looks like he's going to say something more, but decides against it. He holds the cup with both hands and he looks at it.

"Let's put you on the spot this time," I say. "What are your hobbies?"

Eric looks at me, then at the window, and back at me. "Does driving around the city count as a hobby?"

"If it's what you do for fun, then I guess it counts. Now, what are you doing, exactly? And why?"

"Well, I just drive around, enjoying the sights. Nothing more than that. As for why, I find it relaxing. There's something about driving around the city at night that is such a stress reliever for me. Maybe it's the lights, or the fact that I'm alone, or that it rains sometimes and that's amazing. I just love it every time I do it."

Eric's getting wrapped up in a thing he likes again. His eyes sparkle and his mouth curves to a smile like they did just earlier. I should talk about the things he likes more often.

"Don't your shifts get in the way?"

"Well, when there's a will, there's a way." He beams at me. "Most of the time, I do it before or after my shift. Like I said, it's a great stress-reliever."

I shrug. "Can't argue with that."

"Hey, I could drive you around sometime. Let you see what it's like, and to give me a justification for getting this excited about it."

"You really are self-aware." I chuckle. "I don't know. The last time I was in your car was when we dropped crazy revelations on each other. Might sour the experience."

His smile falters. "Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

"Don't worry, everything's fine." I let my tail slide around him. "I'm taking you up on that offer."

Eric gently places a hand on my tail. "That's great to hear. I forgot to ask this, though. You're doing okay, right? No heavy things weighing you down? I know cutting contact doesn't do wonders for your well-being."

I finally know why I made the connection between him and Eric. The similarities are uncanny. Guess I'm not that much of an idiot as I thought, but that's not saying much considering what just happened just a few months ago.

I look at the window for a second. It should be time I stop thinking about it. That, and accept that there's nothing I can do. Let's just hope that I won't make mistakes with whatever I have going on with Eric right now, or fuck up to the point of burnt bridges.

"I'm fine," I say. "Like I said. Recovering."

Eric smiles at me. "That's good to know."

I look away from his gaze, and I lock eyes with Ash. Her expression is completely sour again. She points at her wrist, and it takes me a moment to get the gesture. I look at the clock and realize it's been two minutes past my break.

"Shit, my break's over." I get up and hurriedly fix my clothes. After that, I turn to Eric. "Hey, sorry to cut this short. Work calls."

"Don't worry, I understand. Let's do this next time."

"Where you work this time?"

Eric laughs. "Sure."

I stand there awkwardly and I scratch the back of my neck. "So, uh, see you later?"

He gives me a salute. "See you later."

With that, I rush toward the backroom again. Before I take another glance, I look at him again. He's back to sipping his coffee, staring outside the window. I sigh before getting back inside.

I really hope I don't mess this one up.