Journal Entry 4
#5 of London Org.
Based off a D&D campaign I played, set in 1920's London, the entries come from the point of view of Baylor Stoneridge. An anthropomorphic Buffalo who has the power to amplify the feelings of others and allow others to get a taste of his emotions with the slightest touch.
Good evening from someone who woke up on the right side of the haybale today. I finished off my first week finding a friend. At least Haven considers me a friend. Said that us Empaths need to stick together. Today, I was speaking with Haven in his office about controlling my thoughts and emotions and Haven suggested I get a hobby to keep me sidetracked in case I experience a breakdown or an episode. That is all because I asked him not to help me with his gift, which he understood and I felt better about that. Anywho, the more I thought about what kind of hobby I could take up, the more I could picture the surfaces and shelves at my old apartment full of your planters and random shrubbery. You used to say how every flower and every bush and every living breathing plant you had were named after your ancestors. I remember how you confided in me that if you took care of the plants, maybe when you passed away, your family would see how you took care of their plant versions of them and they would take you into heaven and forget your sins with me. Typing that out sounded worse than when you told it to me. I decided to ask the inventory woman for a planter and a plant that she recommended as an easy-to-grow-in-dark-places kind of plant. She recommended me a seed and told me that she grew one in her room and it took no effort on her part. I gladly started with it, though I never got the name of it.
Haven helped to show me how to set my planter up and "sow" the seed. Now that its planted I've decided to name it after you. Haven said with enough love and care it can grow and grow and the only way to love the plant enough was give it your name. I have taken a break from staring at Ellis to write my entry as nothing has happened. Im hoping tomorrow I can see a sprout. Its like we always talked about, and I'll see to it I raise him well.
So far on learning control it's been rough in attempting to withhold emotions when forcing them upon another person. The flashbacks still persist and I wish I could just get better. I know time will heal and one day I can touch another person and not panic but I can be impatient, you know that. My Trainer comes back tomorrow and Haven has persisted in having me use my emotions to change his mood. I trust Haven has good intentions and I will work my hardest if it makes him and L at least happier with my progress.
Speaking of big boss man L, He asked me how my visits with Haven have been, I tried lying and saying I am finding control and he bluntly told me I was faking it. He has to be the scariest one here. I asked Haven what L's powers were and he shrugged. Even he has no clue, except his powers were classified under the phaser branch of abilities, to which I followed up with what are the branches of powers here. Apparently there are 5 branches so far. Empaths, like Haven and myself, phasers, like L, strength, healer, and elemental. The Organization is working to bring as many as they can in to assess their abilities and create task forces to help L in his missions but most have turned him down. Had you still been here with me I would have too, but I needed a new purpose. I needed to know that I could make a difference.