My way, Part One, Chapter One - Breaking

Story by SplitFractal on SoFurry

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#1 of My Way

So I decided on the name "My Way" mainly because a lot of the time when we're hurting we feel like we don't know where to go or look, but it also speaks of how after change happens we have to find a new path to follow and sometimes that can be harder then being set on the path to begin with.

A heads up, this story may get messy and there will be a lot of triggers along the way. Just bear with me, I don't even know where this will end yet either.


The beach was not somewhere I would ever have gone alone. Yet here I was. The cold night air filled my lungs and I shivered every time the salty spray dampened my clothes. There was something eerie and tempting about the black water. How easy it would be to just walk out into the dark waters and vanish without a trace.

I had to wonder if anyone would even care. I had no home, not anymore and everyone I had called a friend had turned on me. No one would even know I was gone until it was too late.

The tide crept in and tickled my toes. Maybe if I sat here long enough the ocean would just swallow me. Maybe all I had to do was sit still until I disappeared.

"No one would care." I whispered to myself "Why even try, they hate me. Everyone hates me." Saying it out aloud only seemed to deepen my melancholy.

Why was I surprised that they had all turned on me? I did this to myself. All I had to do was be different. Was it too much to ask for me to just be what they wanted.

I slowly got to my feet and wandered out into the dark water. It was up to my waist. I was half way to vanishing. There wasn't far to go now. I looked at the darkness all around me. The dark inky water held me gently as the sand beneath my feet slowly shifting, dragging me down.

I dragged myself forward a little further. With each step it got easier, until there was nothing underfoot anymore. The waves where stronger here and the water tugged at me. All I had to do was let go and let the water have me. There was nothing left for me back there anyway.

"What the hell!" I heard from somewhere behind me. I ignored it. The voice was so far away. The cold water pulled the strength from my muscles. My legs started to ache and my heart began to race. If this was fear then it didn't scare me. Nothing would ever scare me again.

One last wave washed over me and I sank. The dark waters blotted out the sky. I couldn't even see the stars, but that was fine. I didn't want to see anymore. I didn't want to hurt.

I let out my last breath.

Something grabbed me hard around the middle and started tugging at me. I didn't have the strength to push it away and a moment later my head was above water again.

"What's wrong with you!" A voice yelled in my ear. Tears stung at my eyes. It wasn't fair. Why wouldn't it stop hurting.

"Let me go." I whimpered.

"No chance." The voice said back as they started to drag me towards the shore. Behind me I could hear sirens echoing and voices and gasps. I surrendered. There was no escape now. The pain wasn't going to let me go.

The water got shallow and others raced out to help drag me the rest of the way back to the shore "What were you thinking?" My rescuer roared at me. His piercing amber eyes would have made me quack in my boots only hours ago. But now I just felt numb.

"Relax honey, that's not helping." Another voice came. The voice had been male, just like my rescuer. I looked up to see a cat desperately trying to calm my wolf rescuer. My head raced. They were both men and the cat had called the wolf honey. It didn't make sense.

"To hell it's not." He snapped back. The wolf kicked off the sand faster than anyone could move. He leapt on top of me. His nose touching my own as his weight pinned me down. His eyes were filled with pure hate.

"What were you thinking?" He repeated his question just as a dozen hands pulled him off of me.

The onlookers started to abuse the wolf, telling him to lay off or to give me space. I looked over to where he now stood arguing with everyone around him. Tears stung at my eyes and started to race down my face just to be swallowed by the sand.

The wolf spotted my tears and shrugged the crowd off "Whatever." He spat and stormed off up the beach with the cat only half a step behind him.

The paramedics where just as annoyed as the wolf had been. I sat on the back of the ambulance wrapped up in a blanket unmoving. They asked me to go to hospital, but I had said no. Now they were debating getting the police to arrest me so I didn't have a choice.

I looked up from where I sat and by chance spotted the wolf and cat. They were walking away down the street. The wolf still looked annoyed. I might not have been able to hear what he was saying but the way he kept gesturing to where I was spoke volumes. The cat kept gathering up his arms every time he would gesture at me and tried profusely to calm him down.

"Can I go?" I asked. A paramedic heard me.

"I'm afraid not young man, if you don't come with us you're going to be in big trouble." I bit my bottom lip. With every step they got further away. I had to see them. I didn't understand it, but I needed to go. My heart pounded in my head and the second the paramedic looked away I ran.

There were a few screams from behind me as they spotted my escape. The Wolf stopped when he heard the commotion and spun on his heels. Rage flickered in his eyes and he raced towards me "Stop right there!" He roared and moment later I had thrown myself against his still damp chest and was sobbing like a little kid.

He went rigid and looked around in a panic like he had done something wrong.

The cat come up to us "Do you want to talk?" He asked me with a soft smile. I slowly nodded and he took my hand.

"I want it to stop." I blurted out between my mangled sobs.

"Hush," the cat cooed "hold it in. Let's find somewhere nicer than a sidewalk to talk." The cat then turned his attention to the paramedic that had chased after me. He said a few quick words and the paramedic looked over to me and then back to the cat before giving a nod and walking back towards the ambulance scratching his head.

"What did you say?" Asked the wolf.

"The truth... now I'm hungry. Who's up for a bite to eat." I didn't exactly know how to answer that while I was still sobbing and neither did the wolf for that matter.

I felt stupid as I walked with the pair who had begun bickering about where to eat. I hugged myself and felt sick. The wolf was still dripping from rescuing me, I was too for that matter.

"Maybe I should just go..." I mumbled falling back a few strides behind them.

"Where?" The cat asked. I didn't have an answer "I'll let you leave if you can tell me where you're going and prove that you'll be safe." He had me figured. Not that it was hard to figure out. Less than an hour ago I had tried to drown myself. People with places to go don't try and drown themselves.

"Anticlea needed the company." I mumbled under my breath.

"Oh... a history buff. I like the Oddessey as well. Nice try. But I can offer you a couch for the night and a full belly. If you can't beat it you're stuck with us." The cat retorted.

"Seriously, if the kid wants to go just let him. His breathing, haven't we done enough." The wolf grumbled. He was annoyed. I could understand why. Whatever he had wanted out of tonight had been ruined by a stupid kid doing something stupid.

"See." I said gesturing to the wolf.

"I'll spank you if you keep that up." The cat warned the wolf.

"That had been the idea." He sighed looking resigned to his fate. I swallowed hard. My stomach twisted in knots and I was almost sure if I opened my mouth butterflies would have flown out.

The wolf shifted his attention to me "Sorry kid, you do the crime and you got to serve the time. You wanted a chat and you're getting one." He took one of my hands and the cat took the other. My knees went weak and I felt like I was about to fall over. What had I done to deserve this? Why were they being so nice to me?

We found a cafe a short way down the road that was still open. I wasn't sure why since it was nearly midnight. But I was grateful when I was sitting down between cat and the wolf with a warm drink in my cold paws.

"So let's start with some introductions, I'm Brian and this gruff wolfikins is Michael." The cat started.

"You know gruff and wolfikins doesn't normally go in the same sentence." Michael pointed out.

"Does too, I just did it." Brian said matter-of-factly.

"Umm, I'm Noah." I said finishing the introductions.

"Noah, that's a nice name. Though I never would have picked it for a Hyena hybrid." Brian commented. I gave him a surprised look. Sure I had the spots of a hyena but other then that I looked like a common dog breed.

"I wouldn't be surprised, he's crazy good at his job and can just about always figure out what went together to make someone." Michael pointed out. I was half about to ask about his job when Brian cleared his throat.

"Now how about you tell us why you thought doing what you did was a good idea?" Brian asked ruining the distraction I had allowed myself to fall into.

I could already feel tears stinging at me eyes again "Dad..." I look up at Brian and Michael "I think... well... I think I like boys." I sobbed. Neither of them even flinched or batted an eyelid.

"No way, stop yanking my tail." Michael said so dryly that the sarcasm just about dripped off his tongue.

"Yeah, what are the chances. We both like boys too." Brian teased "We figured that out. But what made you do something so stupid?" He asked.

For a moment I sat in silence as I tried to catch up. I hadn't wanted to ask if they were together, but it had been obvious from the start. Hearing it straight from the mouth was a different thing altogether.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. It had been so hard to say, but for them it was easy. I wanted that. To just be able to say it. Like they were words and not some curse that was going to ruin my life. In a way it already had.

"So, you said Dad. Did he find out?" Michael asked tactlessly. I felt the tears try to come again but fought them back.

I let out a long sigh and began to explain "I was home alone. I didn't think anyone would know if I looked at some pictures on my phone. He caught me..." neither of them said a word. They just looked at me wanting me to go on, so I did "he smashed my phone and told me to get out. He kept screaming and then he said he was telling everyone 'what' I was. He posted it online. I tried to go to my friends but they..." I started to sob "no on would even look at me." I broke down again. Brian put his arms around me, a moment later Michael started to pat my head gently.

"Your Dad sounds like a dick." Michael said plainly.

"Michael!" Brian gasped in horror.

"Uh... yeah. He is." I agreed trying to stem the flow of tears from my eyes.

"So what sort of guys where you looking up?" Michael asked.

"... umm... I...." Brian shot up a hand.

"Do not answer that." Brian interrupted.

"Look, the kids hurt, but he didn't do anything wrong. I mean how old are you?" Michael asked.

"Seventeen." I answered.

"Are you a virgin." He asked next. I blushed so hard that my ears turned red and I knew that he could see it.

"Have you ever even kissed a guy?" I shook my head.

"When do you turn eighteen?" He asked the whole while Brian looked absolutely mortified.

"Three weeks..." I answered again.

"So let's lay this out there. You're an adult in three weeks and Daddy caught you having a wank to gay smut and decided to out you to the world and everyone turned their back on you so you decided the best way to fix it was to drown yourself and get us both wet? To top it off you haven't even kissed a guy." Michael said flatly.

"Pretty much." I said back staring down at my, now, lukewarm drink.

"Sounds like your Dad should be the one drowning himself, not you. He's the one with the problem after all." Despite the approach, Michael had gotten his point across.

"Fine, I'm sorry it's my fault you got wet." I grumbled at him.

"There, that wasn't so hard was it." He said with a gentle smile. Strangely, I was smiling too and Brian looked just about ready to pull his hair out.

"So, back to our place for the night and we can figure out tomorrow in the morning. I don't think I've ever had a better excuse to call in sick for work." Michael looked chuffed with his line of thinking.

"What about last Monday when you stubbed your toe." Brian countered dryly.

"Hey, that really hurt." Michael countered.

"Thank you. Both of you. This means a lot." Both of them put an arm around me and we fell into a comfortable silence as we waited for our food to come out.