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Southern Free Agents

Ch 5 - It's NOT Undead!

The Sufa Union had always been operated under a blanket acknowledgement of trust, consent and mutual respect. While this generally let things operate smoothly and avoid causing bruised feelings, occasionally the lack of any specific member being 'in charge' could result in a lengthy disagreement which could or could not be resolved amicably. As the member with the greatest tenure, Maura usually got her way, but not always. The 'Haunted Manor' job, however, was not one of those 'easy sells'.

Esfir was the most vocal in her objection. "I'm NOT going into a haunted house. I draw the line at undead... especially the incorporeal kind."

Fortunately Djona was Maura's greatest supporter. "Whatever's going on... whatever is causing the issue, it's NOT undead."

Archie folded his arms across his museline chest; he was another detractor "Either way, the pay is abysmal, Maura. Do you REALLY want us to work for a STICK?"

Durnok, another party member siding with the Bear offered an immediate counter. "It is not 'a stick', Archibald. Our employer offered us two cubits of Steel Sprig.... do you have any idea how rare of a wood that is? I could do a lot with such a hard to find material."

The Mink wasn't done with his objection. "So we're getting paid for a MAGIC stick?"

Maura scowled. "The wood isn't magical, and you know that. It is able to be imbued to a greater extent than most other hard woods."

Malik offered some far-from-useful input. "I like it when my hard wood gets imbued."

Archibald continued his objection, letting the Gecko's statement go. "On whom are we basing the cubit? You know I hate variable measurements. 'The length of a forearm' can be very inconsistent-- if it's mine then that's one thing, but if it's someone like Malik--"

The Gecko interjected "I don't care how big a piece of Steel Sprig it is. Coin spends, and we can just spend it on Steel Sprig if it's that important."

The argument had been raging for nearly an hour and, with the group split evenly down the center there was no easy way to resolve the stalemate. All important decisions made by the group needed to be made in unison and an even divide meant that no side could easily convince the other. Maura readily realized that a tie would automatically default to turning down the task and Steel Sprig was hard enough to find that she doubted such an opportunity would arise again so she was required to think creatively. "Alright... well... WE want to do it, and the THREE of you don't, so, rather than argue about it for another two hours, I propose a challenge to determine which side gets their way."

Archibald, of course, was far too astute to fall for the ploy. "Why bother? If you can't convince us then we won't take the--"

Both Malik and Esfir were always eager for a challenge and both jumped up, practically shouting in unison "What kind of challenge?"

The Bear woman barely managed to hide her smile; she stood a chance! Regarding the two smallest members of the party, Maura said simply "I saw that this city has a Mana Ball court by the market place... Durnok, Djona and I against the three of you. If you win we turn down the job and find something that pays coin--"

Esfir quickly interjected "And no undead either."

Djona countered "Whoever's doing this, they're NOT undead!"

Archibald smirked. "Who said anything about 'who'? It might be a 'what'."

Maura quickly took control of the conversation again. "If you win we find a job that pays coin and doesn't involve undead."

Before anyone else could speak up, Durnok added "And if we win, then we take the job and go get the client's wall-hanging-thing."

Archibald found the word the Lizard was obviously trying to offer up. "Tapestry."

Durnok nodded. "Tapestry."

Their prospective patron, a well-off Ram and apparent someone-important of the city they were visiting desired an antique tapestry in one of the several homes he owned in town. According to their yet-to-be-confirmed employer, the residence was located adjacent to a haunted graveyard and he had been reluctant to go there to get it himself ever since 'strange things started happening'. He had been vague when it came to 'strange things', but Maura was not about to attribute whatever concerned the man to the happenings of undead-- such a thought was preposterous so far south; everyone knew Undead stuck to the mainlands and were never seen among the god-blessed islands of the Elnorai Archapelago.

She also happened to know that Mana Ball was MUCH easier for those who were taller. The Bear was right on both counts, of course, and they handily defeated the opposition, resulting in the confirmation of the contract. Maura was looking forward to an easy task and a very worthwhile reward for a job well done. Esfir, on the other hand, just continued grousing about Undead (to which Djona continued to object to the Kobold's perception of the matter). "Whatever it is, it's NOT undead!"

* * * * *

Rubria was a decent sized town-- relatively on par with most other city states, but it was on an island which was far longer than it was wide, shaped like a talon. The city itself occupied the entirety of the southern part of the land from end-to-end, and most of the eastern and western points, interrupted in the central region by a large peak which, according to the city's historians, was an active volcano until their patron deity Rubis put it into a deep sleep so as to protect his followers.

The history of the town was of less significance to Maura than the geography, mostly because they had met with their employer in the eastern center of commerce and his manor home which housed the tapestry in question was two thirds of the way across town-- several hours of walking, presuming the streets weren't particularly packed with foot traffic. Fortune was not with the Sufa Union, and the trip took almost half the day. While they traveled Esfir refused to give up on her concerns about the animated dead.

Most of the party let her grouse, but Malik, after the second hour of hearing the Kobold complain, decided to interject. "You know... even if there ARE undead--"

Djona interjected "There aren't."

The Gecko continued unabated. "--there are some things worth worrying about more than a few walking corpses."

Esfir shot him a dirty look. "Like what?"

The group's alchemist grinned wide, and his broad mouth further accentuated the humor to his comment. "You know what Maura is like when she wants her hard wood and doesn't get it."

The Bear woman was ready to cuff the Gecko on the back of his head for the crass comment but Durnok beat her to it. "You know the rules. No sex shaming."

Both reptiles were right, of course; the Sufa Union had a longstanding rule regarding the freedom of sexual expression and Maura had no doubts that she was probably the most insatiable of the party, thus Malik was not entirely off-base with his (admittedly crass) humor. She didn't, however, find the topic to be productive, so instead she proposed an alternative. Looking to Esfir, she resolved to get to the bottom of the issue. "What has you so concerned about the undead, sweety?"

The Kobold was direct and to-the-point. "I don't like undead. I... I've heard stories. And if we ARE going into a haunted house..."

Djona let out a long sigh. "Undead AREN'T found this far south. The Elnorai Archipelago are protected from necromantic emanations by the divine. Every city has its divine patron and each divine patron protects their followers from that kind of thing."

Durnok added his support for the idea. "We have four islands between us and the northern continent. No undead have been spotted off the mainland in centuries... I doubt even if they DID make a showing that they'd make it down this far."

Archibald, unfortunately, was not quite as optimistic. "Unlikely, but not impossible. I may not be an expert on undead, but what that Ram talked about sounded a lot like a haunting to me. Maybe spirits are able to invade the islands easier than corporeal ones."

Malik, despite having been disinterested in the task to begin with, had apparently come around, if for no reason other than antagonizing Archibald and Esfir. "Oh come on... even IF there are undead we can handle em-- sure, they may be resistant to weaponry, but it's not like we don't have magic. If they haven't spilled out into the city streets then there can't be enough of them to cause a prolblem for us."

Esfir pushed the undead narrative. "But he said his home is near a graveyard. You KNOW what kind of energy coalesces at burial sites... how can you say there is NO chance that it could be undead?"

Djona rolled her eyes. "Possible, but not probable. And Malik is half right-- if prepared, we can successfully combat a small number of undead."

The Kobold didn't relent. "CAN and WANT TO are two entirely different things."

Durnok spoke up again. "Which is fine, because undead only rise from unsanctified burial sites, and if the graveyard is in Rubria it's sanctified. Naturally occurring undead just can't happen here. It's as easy as that."

Silence prevailed after the lizard's ardent insistence, but not for long. It was Archie who pushed the issue. "Maybe not naturally occurring undead, no... but that doesn't eliminate the possibility of Necromancy."

Maura rolled her eyes; some days the Mink could be incorrigible. "It will be fine. There has been no record of a Necromancer in over two hundred years, and I highly doubt that a practicioner of such magic would limit their influnce to single rich Ram's seasonal residence, so drop it."

Archibald, however, doubled down. "We're supposed to be prepared for anything. If our charter is to be followed, I think we need a plan... just in case."

The Bear wasn't sure whether the Mink was just causing problems or was serious, but, either way, he was right; they wouldn't be facing undead, but the members of the Sufa Union had a commitment to being prepared. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Maura began the discussion, counting what were known as 'the big four' off on one paw. "Fire. Structural trauma. Magical disruption. Sanctification."

Before anyone could speak up, Djona jumped in. "Fire is the most obvious choice for fighting undead because most are shriveled and desiccated, making them very flamible. The fire burns away the magical energy animating them and destroys the corpse at the same time."

Durnok quickly added "I like 'structural trauma'." His knuckles popped when he tightened his grip on the metal bar at his hip. "Undead that can't move aren't a threat-- hit them hard enough in enough places and it doesn't matter if they're undead; they'll lay there like the corpse they are."

Esfir spoke up, having given up moping and fretting in favor of direct engagement. "What about the 'magical disruption' thing? How does that work?"

Djona flashed a vulpine grin in the Kobold's direction. "Unlike living creatures, Undead aren't animated by living mana-- their presence functions like a whirlpool and they require a constant stream of dark mana because they don't produce any themselves. They draw this from the world around them--"

Maura interjeted "Which is why they aren't found anywhere on the Islands-- the gods prevent dark mana from spreading."

The Fennec nodded to the Bear. "Right-- and, if they can't get this energy, even for a few seconds, their activity is disrupted and they return to being plain corpses."

Durnok added his own thoughts. "It's like stopping their hearts-- a few seconds is all you need and they are back to being regular dead instead of undead."

Archibald tapped the end of his muzzle in thought. "Hmm... I hadn't known that... so you're saying a simple Mote of Disruption, or something more like a counterspell?"

Djona smirked. "Either. Being ready to handle undead is the first step to surviving them... not that we have anything to worry about."

The Mink did not relent. "But, if we DID, or if we DO, at least we can be prepared-- so what is the last one... the 'sanctification' thing?"

Maura tackled that question. "The same reason why any fears of Undead are unreasonable-- Undead can't exist on sanctified ground because that disrupts the ability for dark mana to manifest. We already have that here in the city, but if we were on the northern continent then having an area sanctified would rid us of any problems."

Esfir's feathers puffed up. "So... if the graveyard isn't sanctified for some reason..."

Djona didn't let her finish the thought. "It is."

The Kobold didn't surrender the idea. "Is it too late to find a priest? Just in case."

Maura rubbed her forehead with a paw, huffing out in exasperation "Yes."

Archibald was a little more diplomatic about it, which was his way. "Okay.... so Necromancy is a naturally occurring phenomenon, which means we have nothing to fear because there aren't any thaumaturgists who practice Necromancy...?

Djona paused, flicking an ear before responding. "Not exactly."

Maura rolled her eyes, knowing that the statement was going to cause problems. Esfir's immediate objection proved her right. "Then WHY aren't we worried about Necromancers?!?!"

It was Durnok who actually addressed the objection. Not even bothering to turn around to speak to the group he continued trudging on ahead with only a single word answer. "Darklight."

The Kobold was not satisfied with the answer. "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

The Bear was about to provide an explanation but Djona jumped right in, the Fennec woman slowing down to travel alongside Esfir. "You know how Durnok can use inanimate objects to channel magic? His family line is skilled with imbuing inorganic matter with mana. Well... the term 'darklight' originally came from necromantic practices, referencing the dimming of illumination that takes place around undead."

Malik, never one to give up the opportunity to start trouble, quickly interjected "Wow, Durnok... I had no idea you were a Necroma-- OW!"

His statement was interrupted when Djona bonked him on the head. "Not. Even. In. Jest."

Durnok's explanation came out as a growl. "My magic is called Darklight because early scholars compared the imbuing of items to necromantic energies filling a corpse. They said it out of ignorance, and it is NOT the same thing."

Djona patted Malik on the head once the Gecko had calmed down and elaborated. "Necromancy is an unguided principle. There are horrible horrible people who study ways to animated corpses with naturally occurring necromantic energy but it's an unguided principle and an imperfect study. It is not a scholastic pursit and is a perversion to everything that is proper thaumaturgy--" she shot a scathing glance down at Malik, who looked as though he was about to say something. "Yes, I CAN say that even though I'm not a caster."

Maura decided to fill in the rest of the explanation for those in the group who didn't know better. "Necromancy fills corpses with energy and then said physical conduits are affected with unlife... which is why things like ghosts and specters remain things of legend. Necromancy imbues energy into a vessel but, unlike Darklight, its target nonce-living organic matter. Yes, Durnok can imbue wood to some extent, but that is harder than something like metal or stone-- unlike Necromancy, which can exclusively imbue corpses."

Esfir piped up from off to the side. "So... could Necromancy inhabit a dead tree? Or what about soil?"

Archibald scoffed. "Bah-- they just said it can't imbue inorganic material. Dirt isn't organic, Essy."

Malik counter-scoffed, making quite a trumped-up show of it, up to and including 'flowery' language. "Feh. Poppycock, I say. You are obviously no alchemist, Sir... for, if you were, you would be well aware that soil is different from dirt, and is very much organic, I say."

The group continued on in quiet for a short time but, ultimately, Esfir couldn't keep her muzzle shut. "So... is this all about some wooden reward, or do you have the hots for our employer? You call tell the truth, Maura; you know I don't judge."

The change in topic didn't help. "He's not my type."

She felt further betrayed that Durnok actually took the kobold's side. "I found him quite pleasing to the eyes... for an older mammal. Not the kind I would raise my tail for, but if he were interested in me I would not be opposed to mounting him."

Archibald came to her rescue, which made sense because he was one of the more astute members of the party in the matter of the upper class. "While I could not say his preference for men or women, I would commend our wonderful Mother Bear since I'm also not the sort to cavort with the recently divorced."

Djona seemed surprised by that. "Divorced? Are you sure?"

Malik chimed in "Are you saying you didn't notice the worn fur on his ring finger?"

Djona shot right back. "Aren't you jumping to conclusions? Maybe he's a widower."

Archie smirked at her. "It was the small picture frames face down on his mantle that made the difference for me."

Malik likewise grinned. "Yeah-- same thing for me. If he were a widower then those'd be the pictures he'd keep close by rather than face down."

Maura also knew that well. "And she left him... not the other way around."

Archibald pointed to Maura, elaborating the argument. "If he left her he would have gotten rid of the pictures-- I'm willing to bet he has them face down because he still cares for her but can't bare to look at them."

Esfir smirked, rubbing her talons together. "Oh! Maybe this'll be like the time in Tunstoh when that Alpaca tried to trick us into stealing something that didn't belong to him... maybe it's actually his ex's house were going into!"

Shaking his head, Archibald shot the idea down with certainty. "I already checked into the matter with the local record keeper. His family has owned that property for over three generations. It's definitely his and, apparently, haunted." The Mink rolled his eyes for effect.

Djona strolled forward to the front of the group as they approached the turnabout at the dead end street where they'd find the house. "It's not haunted because there aren't undead here."

It was mid afternoon when they approached the residence. Other than it being yet another rich family villa, Maura saw nothing particularly spectacular about it: decent sized three story home, large, except that it didn't have the 'wing' extensions of many manors. It was well kept for the most part, with a simple path stretching from the main front door to a small root cellar around the side. If any of the stories about haunted homes were to be true there should have been some kind of darkness about it-- leafless trees and an ominous darkness to it, but there were none of those things... not that she'd actually expected them. Esfir on the other hand, looked taken aback. "Wow... how underwhelming."

Durnok nodded. "See? More proof that it's not haunted."

Esfir shook out her puffed up feathers. "Either way, let's just get the tapestry and look around before nightfall anyway... I don't want any chance of dealing with undead."

As they all stepped up onto the porch, Maura pulled out the key to the door as Djona quickly reiterated "It's NOT undead."

* * * * *

The Sufa Union spent nearly two hours searching the house top-to-bottom looking for the tapestry in question. Their patron had been 'almost' certain that it had been hung on the second floor, but he had noted more than once that it had changed location during his lifetime back when his grandmother had been alive, and then after his parents had passed. He had also been somewhat ill-at-odds with the thought of having a haunted house and so Maura had thought nothing of the fact that his proposed location was not accurate, but, despite the building having three stories and over a dozen rooms there were only so many walls to check.

At some point their investigation was derailed due to a cry from Esfir and when Maura came down the stairs she saw the Kobold pointing at a streak of dried mud near one of the servant's entrances. Esfir's feathers were puffed up and she had to be convinced that it wasn't grave dirt tracked in by some shambling corpse. It also didn't help that there was a graveyard beyond the garden wall at the back of the property. Eventually she had to calm down when Djona threatened to have her go out and look for empty graves to identify what body had risen.

Eventually the entirety of the party gathered on the ground floor to compare notes. Archibald was frustrated. "Well... we took a task which would pay us in wood, and apparently our employer didn't even know where he'd left his tapestry. Do we even know if it was EVER here?"

Durnok was a little more calm as he worked his way through the problem. "We have no reason to believe he lied to us. If it WAS here and it ISN'T here now, then the most likely explanation is--"

Esfir interjected "The house is haunted."

Djona smacked herself in her face with the palm of her paw, voice muffled by her own paw pad. "Iff noh undead."

Maura was about to add her own opinion on the matter when a bump upstairs caused her to pause. Glancing around she saw that all six members of their group were accounted for. "Did anyone else hear that?"

Malik shrugged it off. "We were pretty thorough with our search... if someone didn't put everything back just right it might have been a keepsake box falling off a shelf."

Esfir quickly offered up "Or it's--"

Maura saved Djona the trouble. "It's not undead."

The Fennec woman nodded. "Exactly... besides, if it was ACTUALLY a haunting we'd have more than just a 'bump' from above... all the legends suggest a frost to the air and shadows in--" she stopped speaking when her voice started coming out as visible puffs of fog, and the room began to feel noticeably colder.

Malik glanced around. "Okay... well that's freaky..."

Everyone in the group became increasingly ill at ease as the room darkened noticeably, and a faint impression of wordless whispers began to tingle at the edges of Maura's hearing. She looked around, taking in the sensations as she worked her way through puzzling out an answer because, despite what she was experiencing, she knew better than to believe it was what it was presenting itself to be. Djona was much more confident. "This makes much more sense."

Esfir glanced at her. "That this place is infested with undead?"

The Fennec woman nodded. "Exactly. This house is filled with undead."

The Kobold's feathers puffed up. "Really?"

Half the group spoke in unison. "No. It's NOT undead."

Maura was more than willing to follow Djona's lead. "What is it?"

Djona gestured to a book case placed along a wall adjacent to the kitchen area. "Did you notice the root cellar by the side of the house, and yet there's no apparent door down to it from inside?"

The gesture provided by the Fennec included field sign, identifying the need for secrecy. Archibald picked up quickly on it, likewise signing as he spoke. "Well... I don't want to be around if this place IS haunted, and, as they say, it is far better to be cautious than dead. Perhaps we should just come back in the morning."

The Mink's fingers said something different than his words. Outside. Door. Down. Maura got his meaning: the one place they hadn't explored was the root cellar and someone or something didn't want people down there. As a group, the Sufa Union made their way outside, but Maura came to an immediate halt when she saw the skeletons stumbling their way toward them from the graveyard. To make matters worse, the shambling bones were stalking past the cellar, blocking their way.

Esfir let out a screech, and immediately began shuffling her paws around her reagent pouch but Archibald simply let out a 'hmm', and pulled out a small blue marble. He threw it into the midst of the half-dozen skeletons and when it hit the ground it released an aquamarine pulse; the bones immediately clattered to the ground, unmoving. The Mink winked at the surprised Kobold "Disruption charm... not that much of a problem, now is it?"

A faint rustle of wind was accompanied by unearthly moans as darkness in the form of indistinct shades rose up from the collapsed skeletons, actually causing Maura to take an inadvertent step back until she recognized the gesture that Djona flashed before stalking forward fearlessly: fake. Everything finally began to make sense. The Bear followed her, shouting to the cellar "Come out. The game is up!"

As the rest of the group jogged quickly to join the Bear and Fennec, Maura reached down and pulled on the root cellar doors; they didn't budge. For the next attempt she was joined by Durnok, at which point the wood splintered apart as the barred door surrendered to their combined strength. The violent entry was accompanied by a shriek, and the black floating figures faded away.

Huddling down in the root cellar was a middle-aged Ewe and a young Mule Deer buck; she immediately raised her hands while he tried to bolt. The Buck made it as far as opening the door at the top of the stairs leading up to the ground floor before he realized that there was a book case in the way. Djona Archibald smirked. "And that's why they tell you not to block doorways... it's a fire hazard."

The Mink's grin grew as flickering flame slowly spread across his paw, and he raised it as if to hurt a blast at the young man nd she quickly collapsed until he was sitting on the steps, his hands raised before him to protect his body. The Ewe was a little more pragmatic, calling to him "It's just an illusion, Maynard."

Maura spoke without attempting to hide the growl in her voice. "Our employer didn't mention his wife was an illusionist."

Her scowl was almost palpable. "EX-wife... I'm done with that copper-pinching miser."

Esfir, who had apparently overcome her concern of possible undead hauntings, was already in the cellar and had hefted an old dust cover from a carefully folded tapestry. "So you figured you'd just snag a take-away goodbye present for yourself?"

Djona gave the young Buck a little kick. "That must make you the Telekeneticist."

Still cowering and hiding behind his hands, he only repeatedly mumbled some kind of apology. Malik seemed disinterested in the Buck, but had no trouble facing the Ewe down; she was seated, which put them at almost the same height. "So... was it really about the money, or just wanted to trade out an old flame for a new fling? Maybe you're more into antlers than horns these days?"

The slap from the woman was audible, especially thanks to the Gecko's smooth skin. Laughing, Malik about-faced and went back to stand at the cellar door while Durnok stepped forward and went through the process of putting shackles on the Ewe. Malik, in the meantime, spoke up in a quieter tone to Maura (while rubbing the side of his face). "So how did you two know?"

Djona, leading the still skittish buck back to the party spoke up first. "Well, aside from the fact that undead don't show up on the isles, and definitely not in town, there were a few give-aways. First: Esfir found grave dirt on the floor."

Esfir squeaked indignantly. "That should have been evidence FOR undead!"

Maura smirked. "Naturally occurring undead rise out of shallow graves because the negative energy repels soil. If they were real undead they wouldn't have tracked any in."

Archibald leaned against the entryway to the cellar. "Which means these two were also grave robbing... that's at least a half a dozen laws they've broken."

The Ewe, being led out into the open, paused long enough to spit right into the Mink's face; the saliva, however, swung back and hit her between the eyes. The Buck, led out beside her mumbled "He's not a fire mage... must be water."

The Ewe only responded with "Shut up, Maynard."

It took an hour for them to drop off the prisoners, but the discussion continued as Djona and Maura explained how they realized what happened. The hidden access to the root cellar and the fact that the tapestry was missing indicated that someone had something to hide, and, coupled with the fact that the animated corpses were trying to keep them from it told them everything they needed to know about where to look. Esfir was the one to ask for clarification "And how did you know they weren't really undead then?"

Archibald stepped up beside her. "What did it for ME was the Disruption charm... dispelling dark necromancy is one thing, but that charm would only undo magic... weak magic."

The Ewe mumbled under her breath "You told me you were a sorcerer, not a hedge mage."

The Buck had apparently finally found something of a spine as he snapped back "And you said your ex would just keep running."

Djona concluded the point. "I'm also good at recognizing illusions, and when the shadowy whatever-they-were-supposed-to-be popped out of the bones... well... that was wrong on so many levels."

At that point, the group arrived at the closest guard station and Maura let Archibald handle the bureaucracy of handing the prisoners over. It took a fair amount of discussion for him to explain to the guards just how 'in trouble' the prisoners were, but once he was able to convey what had happened they took over. The first guard, a sour-faced Chow Chow eventually growled. "So... this is why they said that family house was haunted, huh?"

Esfir nodded confidently. "Yep. It's certainly not undead."