Luca's Story Ch. 15
Chapter XV--Dinner Dates and Jealousy
_[Sheryl Crow]
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
I saw ya yesterday with an old friend_
_[Kid Rock]
It was the same ole same "how have you been"_
_[Both]
Since you been gone my worlds been dark & grey_
_[Kid Rock]
You reminded me of brighter days_
_[Sheryl Crow]
I hoped you were comin' home to stay
I was headed to church_
_[Kid Rock]
I was off to drink you away_
_[Both]
I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say, I love you come back home_
-Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow, "Picture"
What had started out as an informal interview over some coffee turned into a stroll through Central Park. What had been a stroll turned into a more substantial meal between friends. What was a more substantial meal ended on the rhythm and sensation of a date.
Luca learned a lot about Alan while they were together that day, and he a lot about her, most of it not news-worthy. Not that he cared; the young Advocate intern was hardly on their blacklist. In fact, he seemed well on his way to skyrocketing into a stellar career as a reporter for the GLBT news source. At eighteen plus a few months, this was feat was, by any measure, remarkable. The best part about him, at least in Luca's eyes, was that he saw her transgender status as no more significant a feature than her blue eyes or gray fur.
The pair had caught a train to Times Square after dinner, and watched as the last upwelling of daylight for the evening disappeared behind the neon and flashing lights that decorated Times Square. Luca took a peak at her phone from time to time, noticing a growing number of missed calls and voicemails. After a while, she switched it from silent to off. She wasn't in the mood to deal with reality anymore. At least not this night. She went from burning a bridge between her and her older sister and turning her back on her feuding family to having an actual date, and with an immensely cute boy.
Alan was sharp, though, and he noticed her looking at her phone. "You have somewhere to be?"
"No."
"But other people think you do?"
Luca sighed and nodded. "I'm so sick of it all. I just wish I were normal. Like this," she stated in a slightly affectionate tone, reaching out and taking Alan's right hand in her left. He smiled at her, and they began walking a little closer to each other.
"I'm not here to judge. After all I've seen and learned about you since the controversy started, I think you deserve it, in fact."
"Tell me something," Luca said, stopping in front of a certain three-story toy store overlooking the Y-shaped intersection of distinctive popularity. "You really don't care that I am what I am? I mean, you were at my place because you were following a story. I wouldn't have even met you if I weren't trans."
Alan thought about it and shrugged. "Honestly, I don't. Yeah, you're big news for the GLBT community, as well as most of the nation. The story of the transgendered Homecoming court members is one of the more intriguing stories of the progression of GLBT rights in this country. I would be lying if that fact didn't affect my own interest in who you are as a furre. But it doesn't dictate it. I started today out as an amateur reporter looking for an interview, but now I'm just Alan, on a date with a beautiful lapine with a beautiful heart, letting things go as they do."
"Would you still let things go as they do if I kissed you right now?" Luca asked, looking into the otter's eyes.
"Only one way to find out."
There, underneath the glowing, glittering mass of Times Square, Luca and Alan kissed in a sweet little embrace. Her arms slid up and over his shoulders, his arms slid around her waist. Even as it was happening, Luca knew it would be a kiss she would remember with fondness throughout the rest of her life.
It was a full hour later when Luca stepped into the house she now shared with only her father in Queens. He was sitting in his favorite armchair, watching some dry political talking head show or another, and muted it the moment he saw it was her.
"Where have you been?" He asked. His voice was somber and firm, but still lacking. It had been lacking in his forcefulness since Luca had put him in his place.
"Out," Luca said simply, putting her purse aside and stepping into the kitchen. She wasn't hungry, but she thought she could end this conversation early by seeming distracted with what still clung to existence in the refrigerator. But her father had some determination in him, after all, and when she closed the door, she saw him standing in the doorway. To his right, she could see through the alcove at the living room television. It was a brand new flat screen he had bought after the old one had been destroyed.
"You left before the proceedings were finished."
"I got sick of proceedings, and filings, and arguing. I'm done with this entire thing."
"Your future residence depends on what happens in those court rooms, Luca. Don't you care about that?"
Luca sighed, brushing her hair back with both hands, gripping both her ears for a moment in frustration. She didn't want to be deflated from her evening with Alan so quickly, but her father wasn't going to be allayed so easily. "Of course I care, daddy. But really, what say do I ultimately have? You guys already know what I want: to stay here, in Queens, where I know I at least have my BFF and Harold as well as a councilor and the principal backing me up. Hell, even the coach supports me by proxy, even if Zee is a shit."
"Language, young lady," her father warned. It was the first time he'd ever admonished her French in terms of her as a female. It was a day of firsts, apparently.
"Sorry. But really, dad, do you think the legal proceedings are going to regard my wishes in this? It's a war between your lawyers and mom's lawyers, and your children are the ones caught in the dead zone between the two trenches."
"No you're not," sighed Randal as he leaned against a counter, half-sitting on it.
"Bullshit," spat Luca, crossing her arms. "If we really weren't, then why were all my sisters being babysat by gramgram instead of being right there in the negotiations? Why was I forced to wait outside the conference room while I listened to you and mom on your rollercoaster of emotions on the other side of that door? If there's a part where I get to put in some words to a judge or lawyer or whatever in the consideration of this divorce case, please let me know, because so far it's you two over a chess board, and we're just part of those pieces."
Randal looked at his daughter, his face acknowledging defeat. As much as Luca was satisfied by the fact she was right, it bothered her that he had that face so often lately. This divorce was destroying him. She wondered silently what Ronnie's parents were going through in their proceedings.
"Alright, Luca," he said, rubbing over his face with a hand in a tired little gesture. "Alright. I'm sorry. I'll look at what can be done for you in particular."
Luca approached her dad and hugged him tight. "Thank you, daddy. That's all I need to know."
That was a Thursday evening, and as Luca slept that night, a blizzard swept through New York City. It was the first big one of the season, and buried her house halfway up the first floor. Luca woke up with a tapping at her window.
"Zee?" she said groggily, looking at her alarm first. It was dead. In a panic, she looked at her watch. It was past eight. "Holy crap, I'm late!!" she exclaimed, launching herself out of bed.
"Chill! School's out!" Beccah yelled through the window. She was the source of the tapping. Luca looked at her, dumbfounded. Beccah had never been able to climb up to the roof from the side of the house like that.
"Beccah? What the hell are you doing there?" Luca said as she opened the window. Rebeccah simply turned and pointed out how the snow lay thickly on the ground, enough so that, with a pair of snowshoes, Beccah could reach the awning that marked the low point of the first floor roof.
"Easy as pie," Beccah announced. "Now let me in, I'm freezing my tits off."
"Wouldn't want that now," Luca said in a jibing manner. "Then we'd both be in the same boat."
"Except I still wouldn't have the goodies of a boy," Beccah shot back. She was the only one who could tease Luca like that and get away with it. Beccah was standing there with a black hoodie, a huge pink skull and crossbones on the front. Beneath, she wore her favorite white turtleneck long-sleeve shirt. Her bottoms, over a layer or so of thermal underwear, she had black sweats with double stripes of pink on each side. Her snow boots were a fashionable if ineffective pair of black leather platforms. Beccah's ears were pushed back and down by a skull cap, also black with double stripes of pink.
"You're looking awfully black today," Luca commented. "What have you been upset about?"
"Who says I'm upset?" Beccah said with a chipper voice.
"Your sweater, sweatpants, boots, and skull cap. Oh, and the fact you're awake at eight-fifteen in the am and you're not in school."
Beccah groaned and fell back onto Luca's bed. Meanwhile, Luca was selecting her own winter-wonderland outfit. "Spill it before I make you."
"You're a bitch."
"No more of one than you," retorted Luca.
"Fine..." Beccah said with a sigh. "I'm late."
Luca paused, her brow furrowing slightly. "How late is late?"
"Like four weeks late."
Luca blinked. On the one hand, she was very worried. On the other, she was amazed that Beccah could have managed to hide such a thing for so long. She really had been out of it during the past month or so. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"You never asked. I didn't exactly want to volunteer the information," Beccah said, watching Luca from the bed, her head hanging over the edge as she usually preferred to be. Luca slipped herself into some long johns as Beccah continued. "I mean, I've been late before. My body is on a hair-trigger of stress. So the longer it goes, the more stressed I am, the less likely it is I'll get my flow. Then again..."
"Then again, if your preggers, then you're in some serious trouble."
"Don't say the p-word!" Beccah hissed. "You'll jinx me."
"Beccah, if it's a jinx, it happened four weeks too late. I thought you two were being careful."
"We were. Except for the first time," Beccah admitted.
"Pull-out method?" Luca half-groaned.
"Not even."
Luca groaned even louder. "What about tests? Are they positive or negative?"
"I will tell you when I take one."
"You haven't checked? You should have before your first flow-less week was over!"
"I didn't really think much of it!" Beccah protested. "I mean hell, we're getting into crunch time with finals and you basically fell off of planet Earth for the past month--which, by the way, totally uncool, even though now you seem to be a little bit more of a part of the world again--and I have been panicked and stressed and worried about everything so much and I just couldn't--"
Luca grabbed Beccah by the shoulders. The white lapine was going into hysterics, talking a million miles a minute. Luca shook her firmly. "Beccah! Chill out. We'll head to the drug store now and have ourselves a check. You pee on a stick or two or twenty, we check your results, and then, if you are, we panic. Ok?"
Beccah nodded, swiping at her water-filled eyes. "Ok. Thank you, Luca."
"No problem," she said, throwing a jacket over her shoulders. It was baby blue, and made her eyes stand out. Her legs were clad in a pair of darker blue sweats, and her feet had her old but very reliable and durable pair of black snow boots on.
Just as Luca was about to announce her readiness for departure, the doorbell rang.
The pair of girls opened the door to find Zee, looking particularly angry and upset. He was holding a copy of the New York Post in his hand. The front cover was a huge blow-up shot of Luca and Alan kissing at Times Square. Over the picture, in big, bold letters, it read:
"TRANSGENDER SENSATION'S NEW LOVER?"
Luca was beyond angry, but not at Zee. She barely noticed him, in fact. She was fuming about how exploited and exposed she felt, being plastered across a sensationalist piece of tripe.
"Care to explain this?" Zee asked, fuming.
Luca finally turned to Zee, the shock and anger filed away as Zee pulled her back to reality. "What of it?"
"You're off screwing around with guys all around New York now?"
"For your information, that was our only kiss. Secondly, he's the only guy I've dated since your dumbass broke it off with me, and third," she paused, trying to come up with something. "Thirdly, go fuck yourself. It's none of your business" She closed the door, locking it, and she and Beccah marched past Zee, Beccah taking a disdainful silence in respect for Luca. Zee tried to follow them.
"How am I supposed to take this kind of stuff?" Zee demanded. Luca silently wished he was that same rational, easy-going boy she knew before all this happened.
"Take it any way you want," Luca said without turning back. "It's not my problem what you think."
"Luca, stop, please," Zee said, running to catch up to them. Luca did stop. She turned to look at him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, ok? I've been a douche, and I just didn't know how to apologize to you."
"Well you had a month of consideration, Zee, and you wait until you know I'm dating another guy to say even one word to me? Why the hell should I forgive you."
"Luca, I love you. Please, don't do this," Zee said, his feline ears pressing back to his head. "I want you back."
Luca watched him. With a sudden clarity, she thought back to everything that had happened. The way he avoided her in the halls and looked away from her in class. The way it made her feel when he blamed his problems on her. All this time, she believed she would take him back--grudgingly at least. She sighed, biting her lip. "I'm sorry, Zee. All this time I thought I wanted the same thing. But I realize I don't necessarily believe that anymore. Maybe if you talked to me yesterday, or the day before. But not today, not anymore. I think you have a lot of issues to work out with yourself and who you are. I think I have the same to do."
"With some otter guy?" Zee said. He was trying to sound angry and hurt, but only managed to sound hurt. Tears were welling up in his eyes.
"Maybe. I don't know yet. What I do know is that I need to focus on me and my future for a little while. Take care, ok?" she said, stepping up to him and brushing a patch of snow from his sleeve.
"Ok..." Zee whispered, his voice choking slightly. He didn't seem ok, and sure as hell didn't feel like he was, but he nodded and tried to manage the slightest upturn of a smirk.
"I have to go now," Luca whispered. "Bye Zee. For now."
"Bye Luca," Zee said, adding with a slight nod, "for now."
Walking away, Luca fought off the tears as Beccah whispered to her confidingly. "I didn't know you were dating that oh-so-cute otter."
"Somehow, your priorities seemed a little more pertinent," Luca said, giving Beccah her that wan little smile she always gave when she was trying to tough it through a hard time.
"At least there's some resolution to what's going on between you and Zee."
"Yeah, I guess." Luca didn't feel comforted.