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"BLEU" - "THINGY"

**Photo above:

"First Appearance, 21ST OCTOBER 2021"**

**The Red Firefly.

"A willing Demon that also lights the way".**

INRODUCTION:

A "monster" that manifested in my personality from my worst experiences. An insect that normally brings childlike wonder and magical ideas, taken as a form by the darkest corners of my personality. The form twisted by my fears and negativity experienced throughout life, roaming as the Beast of Redemption to fight against my suffering in the darkness. Bringing out the truth exposes all my lifelong pain and suffering, exposing true emotions of BLUE in the form of sorrow. If Me'Zelf is the shadow in the light, then "Thingy" is the light in the shadow.

" IT" does not have a personality on its own. It has no soul, no intelligence, emotion, or thoughts. It moves on impulse to destroy everything that gets in the way, returning them to the void. Its personality value lies on its surface and primary motives. It holds an overwhelming menace, void, rage, and malice, disregarding ALL perspectives of reservation to complete its goal. It dispatches its obstacles in the most efficient and ruthless methods possible, to end all suffering within a single fell swoop.

Despite its highly oppressive traits, it's the one that drives the endless sense of survivability and willpower, saving me from the verge of suicide by cowardice with courage and determination. It became a demon by sacrificing itself to consume the darkness of my past. It clashed spectacularly with BLUE in times of extreme stress, creating a chaotic and unstable emotional stature in my personality. In the chaos, an unlikely colour of escape was created to give new possibilities. Purple, the representation of my creativity and imaginations. Also, it becomes harmless like a firefly when purged of its darkness.

** CURRENT PERSONALITY VALUES:**

Same as Me'Zelf, it's personality values can be easily explained by the colour profile. However, these values do not manifest as a personality in the character itself. (Hate to repeat this below from the last part but it's the best explanation I could get in my own words...)

The traits below are existent in this fragment of my personality through different stages of life until this point. Take note that some have been suppressed (underlined) and others are dominant (bold) during this time of writing. Note that even suppressed traits will still rarely be expressed.

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion , Motivation , Courage , Determination, Vigour , Masculinity, Ambition , Survivability , Intensity, Intolerance, Anger, Resentment, Defiance, Ruthlessness,Strain, Obstinate, Fear

Black : Sophistication , Emotional Safety , Formality, Efficiency , Seriousness, Oppression,Menace, Containment, Secretive, Depression, Aloofness, Sadness,Withholding, Negativity

Yellow : Optimism , Humour , Enthusiasm , Confidence, Creativity , Analytical , Self-Esteem, Intellect , Critical, Impulsive, Emotional Fragility, Irrationality,Cowardice, Fear, Intensity, Suicidal, Anger, Fear

BACKGROUND:

Same as Me'Zelf, it is an ethereal being from the mindscape like a shapeshifter, carrying a significant fragment of my personality. It has been around for as long as him. Unlike its intelligent and cheerful counterpart, it stays in the shadows to devour the negativity of my nature. It feeds on negativity involving neglect, resentment, frustration, stress, and malice, gaining significant power through the accumulation over time with no ceiling. When it overtops the threshold of mental restraint that the owner can offer, it takes over the soul of the owner to continue its purpose of pure destruction and carnage in the physical world. It destroys everything in its way, disregarding all forms of reservation or reason for pure rage and fury towards the sources of resentment.

TIMELINE:

CHILDHOOD

Red : Action , Confidence, Passion, Motivation , Courage, Determination, Vigour , Masculinity, Ambition , Survivability,Intensity, Intolerance, Anger, Resentment, Defiance , Ruthlessness ,Strain, Obstinate , Fear

Black : Sophistication, Emotional Safety, Efficiency, Seriousness, Oppression, Menace, Containment, Secretive, Depression, Aloofness, Sadness, Withholding, Negativity

Yellow : Optimism , Humour, Enthusiasm , Confidence, Creativity , Analytical , Self-Esteem , Intellect , Critical, Impulsive , Emotional Fragility, Irrationality , Cowardice, Intensity, Suicidal, Anger, Fear

The elements of "Thingy" were well distributed over all lifetime, but not noticed. Its presence was much more concealed than Me'Zelf's from my primitive self-awareness. It did have significant influences on my childhood though, supporting my rapidly developing mischief yet swallowing the darkness of punishment received. Along with Me'Zelf, it contributed to my burning optimism and enthusiasm to cut through the darkness.

The qualities represented by red and yellow were dominant over black. I had a huge trait of ruthlessness along with defiance, often disregarding rules and causing trouble to the orderly. I had little compassion and generosity during childhood, often capturing live creatures as subjects for curious explorations. Everything was fuelled by a ruthless and childlike analytical curiosity, disregarding their life and suffering. Insects, plants, fish, I descended upon them like a giant carrying disaster, suffering and death. I drew images of them, with an unease buried so deeply that would not be exposed until nearly two decades later.

TEENS

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion, Motivation, Courage, Determination, Vigour,Masculinity, Ambition, Survivability, Intensity, Intolerance, Anger, Resentment, Defiance, Ruthlessness, Strain, Obstinate , Fear

Black : Sophistication, Emotional Safety, Efficiency, Seriousness, Oppression , Menace , Containment, Secretive, Depression, Aloofness , Sadness, Withholding, Negativity

Yellow : Optimism, Humour, Enthusiasm, Confidence, Creativity , Analytical, Self-Esteem, Intellect, Critical, Impulsive, Emotional Fragility, Irrationality, Cowardice, Intensity, Suicidal, Anger, Fear

When I approached my teens, there was already a noticeable change. The vibrant qualities of red and yellow have calmed down, but have remained nonetheless. A noticeable number of qualities represented by black have accumulated too, damping down the overwhelming vibrance of its counterparts. This did not change the overall picture though, as my ignorance and mischief advanced through the years with experience.

The accumulation of negativity started to manifest itself as active traits in my personality due to the oppression and neglect received. While trying to learn from mistakes, I absorbed moral and disciplinary values to create a primitive form of self-containment. It competed with the vibrant colours within the grouping, resulting in a constant flutter of thoughts. It took form as small dilemmas, as the proactive traits conflicted with the newly manifested restraints of self-reservation.

The manifestation of traits represented by black also calmed down my ruthless impulses when I had learned to respect living things, drawing me closer to nature. It did not stop me from continuing to capture live creatures though, but I no longer gave them the most painful deaths. They could actually survive until release, and still recover without much problem. I moved my interest to explore inanimate objects such as rocks or everyday objects, creating imaginations around them.

REBELLIOUS PHASE

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion, Motivation,Courage, Determination, Vigour, Masculinity, Ambition, Survivability, Intensity , Intolerance , Anger , Resentment , Defiance ,Ruthlessness, Strain , Obstinate , Fear

Black : Sophistication ,Emotional Safety, Efficiency, Seriousness, Oppression , Menace , Containment, Secretive , Depression , Aloofness , Sadness , Withholding, Negativity

Yellow : Optimism, Humour,Enthusiasm, Confidence, Creativity, Analytical, Self-Esteem, Intellect, Critical, Impulsive , Emotional Fragility , Irrationality , Cowardice , Intensity , Suicidal , Anger , Fear

My rebellious phase was the closest I ever got to losing my sanity when the accumulated darkness within started to get out of hand. There was an abrupt change in my personality as I struggled to adapt to the hard reality of society. The adult society exposed me to the elements of black and white, but I was nearly fully influenced by the negativities brought by black. This fed the inner darkness, causing it to rapidly grow out of control.

Most traits associated with this personality fragment took a really dark turn, primarily presented as my defiance to everything in the upcoming society. Due to the dark environment sown by my own mistakes over the previous years, most of the positive aspects were consumed by the darkness. It devoured the positive traits and amplified the negative side, causing significant instabilities in my personality. The intensity mounted with my struggling studies, starting spontaneous mental struggles as my personality descended into chaos. The negative traits represented by yellow quickly took dominance as cowardice and fractured my emotional stability, now amplified by the negative elements of red. There was seemingly no way out, as the black swallowed the light of the exit.

However, some the positive traits of red could never vanish despite being embraced by darkness. When the negative impulses started generating suicidal attempts, it always flashed out at the last moments before the decision, drawing out BLUE to form a spectacular clash that resulted in multiple mental breakdowns. It always held the symbol of life "to live on", bringing me back from the verge of self-abandonment by cowardice. During the recovery periods, it devoured the lingering memories laced with darkness, happening over and over again. It was never explained and explored again due to the underlying pain, until nearly a decade later from the initial struggle...

ENTERING ADULTHOOD

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion, Motivation , Courage , Determination , Vigour , Masculinity , Ambition , Survivability , Intensity,Intolerance, Anger, Resentment, Defiance, Ruthlessness,Strain, Obstinate, Fear

Black : Sophistication, Emotional Safety , Efficiency , Seriousness , Oppression, Menace, Containment , Secretive, Depression, Aloofness, Sadness, Withholding ,Negativity

Yellow : Optimism, Humour, Enthusiasm , Confidence, Creativity, Analytical , Self-Esteem, Intellect , Critical , Impulsive, Emotional Fragility,Irrationality, Cowardice, Intensity, Suicidal, Anger, Fear

While approaching adulthood before National Service, a significant force of my negativity was devoured and replaced with positivity, replacing the dark background with white. I enlisted with "a blank white page". I entered while fully aware of the mistakes I did by descending into the extremes of IGNORANCE. I knew that it was caused by these vibrant colours, but I had forgotten about the black... It was not monitored, which came back to haunt me from another extreme, NEGLECT.

I entered the Army with full spirits, and the positivity of these vibrant traits pushed me through even the toughest situations. I gained vigour and masculinity thanks to the intense physical training that pushed the physical body past increasingly higher limits. This sense of progress combined with traits from BLUE, gave me a good confidence boost to aim for higher ambitions of leadership. We were hard drilled to be committed to our responsibilities, regardless of the burden. Our mindsets were hammered to be critical, adaptable, and analytical. We were also hard wired to be capable of suppressing our impulses and emotions in difficult situations.

UNIVERSITY

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion, Motivation, Courage, Determination, Vigour, Masculinity, Ambition , Survivability, Intensity, Intolerance, Anger,Resentment, Defiance, Ruthlessness, Strain, Obstinate,Fear

Black : Sophistication, Emotional Safety, Efficiency , Seriousness , Oppression, Menace, Containment , Secretive, Depression, Aloofness, Sadness, Withholding , Negativity

Yellow : Optimism, Humour, Enthusiasm , Confidence, Creativity, Analytical , Self-Esteem, Intellect , Critical, Impulsive, Emotional Fragility, Irrationality, Cowardice, Intensity, Suicidal, Anger, Fear

After finishing National Service, I prepared for university. The vibrant tones calmed down slightly, but carried me into the first term with high spirits. With all the values learned from the previous 2 years, I powered through the initial weeks.

It was tough to come back rusty, but I persevered. But there was an old issue that resurfaced when I was faced with stress. The procrastination, which got me in trouble a couple of times. But with optimism and motivations, I managed to pull through and move on. Everything was contented, and the first term ended decently. The procrastination was some trouble, but I kept spirits high while waiting for the next term.

LATE 2020, RETURNING HOME

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion, Motivation, Courage,Determination, Vigour, Masculinity, Ambition, Survivability, Intensity , Intolerance, Anger, Resentment , Defiance, Ruthlessness, Strain , Obstinate , Fear

Black : Sophistication,Emotional Safety, Efficiency, Seriousness , Oppression , Menace, Containment , Secretive , Depression , Aloofness , Sadness, Withholding , Negativity

Yellow : Optimism, Humour,Enthusiasm, Confidence, Creativity, Analytical, Self-Esteem, Intellect, Critical , Impulsive, Emotional Fragility, Irrationality, Cowardice, Intensity , Suicidal, Anger, Fear

The pandemic significantly impacted my second term, followed by the third term. I failed the majority of subjects as my problems with procrastination deepened. The positivity disappeared, and darkness began to swallow even the vibrant colours that lightened up my mood. Denied of expression through physical interaction, my self-suppression eventually swallowed my voice.

Unknown to me, that this was also the onset of depression. However, it developed in the different direction from my experiences years ago. Although there was a build-up of negativity in the form of resentment and strain, I just kept pushing on. I did not have the emotional fluctuations, nor uncontrolled impulses, just silence... I had a small window to turn back into working with passionate hobbies again, but missed the chance when my parents prompted me to start the fourth term...

All this time in isolation, I spent increasingly more time on ARK. My rigid nature deflected most of the ignorance in the gaming communities, but the darkness still got through and ate away at my personality... Worst of all, I did not even know that it was happening... I had experience in dealing with the negative values that caused the mental struggles years back, but not this... I gave self-checks on these perspectives before, but they were all well controlled. Hence, I just went on without addressing the issue...

SEPTEMBER 1st to 18th 2021

Red : Action, Confidence, Passion, Motivation,Courage, Determination, Vigour, Masculinity, Ambition, Survivability, Intensity , Intolerance, Anger, Resentment , Defiance , Ruthlessness, Strain , Obstinate , Fear

Black : Sophistication,Emotional Safety, Efficiency, Seriousness , Oppression , Menace , Containment , Secretive , Depression , Aloofness , Sadness , Withholding , Negativity

Yellow : Optimism, Humour,Enthusiasm, Confidence, Creativity, Analytical, Self-Esteem, Intellect, Critical , Impulsive, Emotional Fragility, Irrationality, Cowardice , Intensity , Suicidal, Anger, Fear

After failing the fourth term, the void swallowed nearly all my vibrant traits, leaving nothing but a few significant negative ones. The black took over in this personality fragment, leaving no way out until a sense of self awareness that was sparked by a defiance against my own morals. That quickly developed into an intense mental struggle similar to those experienced years before.

I had initially no idea why this was happening, as it drove me to forced decisions that couldn't be understood. The negative traits of the vibrant colours were rapidly uncovered first, driving the mental struggle. However, the positive traits surfaced later and paved the way to the answer. All the negative traits came crashing down during my mental breakdown, as a huge gap opened in my depths to finally release my voice...

After paving the way, it guided my thoughts from the shadows to recover the first fragment of my personality, starting my self-redemption. Occupied by the discovery of Me'Zelf, I did not notice its presence until much later...

15TH OCTOBER 2021

Not too long after finally completing the first full reference of Me'Zelf, I was getting weird dreams. Dreams of destruction and carnage, directed at scenes and subjects related to things that gave me negativity in the past. There was a noisy school scene where everything just fell in an apocalyptic mess around me. Back then I did not understand the reason why I did not feel any fear other than just a mild unease. I woke up with a clear imprint of the dream's destruction, but it had no impact on my mood or motives for the day. I just continued with my quest to complete the remaining references of Me'Zelf.

17TH OCTOBER 2021

Another dream came again with a similar scene, in a crowded place. Again, everything just went awe around me, but I wasn't touched. The crowds were transformed into the worst nightmares of blood and gore, destroying everything in the way while displaying vibrant fountains of red. RED. That's when I noticed that I could perceive the colour. I saw these red insects flying off the piles of carnage, spreading the disaster like a plague from zombie stories. They continued to give me the sense of unease while everything was destroyed, leaving a void. The dream then faded when I woke up shortly after. I clear imprint was in my head again, but it did not have any mental impact for the day.

20TH OCTOBER 2021

The dream happened another time, on the day I finished the final reference for Me'Zelf's shadow ability. This time everything was the same, and it ended without any mental impact. However, I had noticed the type of dreamscapes it was manifesting in. Those that gave me negative memories in the past.

On this night, I finally saw what the entity was. An insect the size of the largest grasshoppers I caught, longer than my longest fingers... big enough to cause bleeding scratches with its claws, and leave deep cuts in fingers through its bites, like giant locusts or wasps. They gave off an oppressive menace and sense of danger, but with little to no malice or hostility. It also contained a sting, which starts the violence and carnage.

As usual with the other dreams, they brought the pure carnage and destruction around me. But this time it was happening right before me, giving me a clear view of the unfolding chaos. An insect flew at me and blacked out the dream, waking me up from sleep with eyes wide open. I did not feel any fear, just a slight sense of unease. A clear image of its form was imprinted in my head.

I questioned myself on this matter, and tried to recall the possible trigger. The only closest relation was, my exposure to content depicting extreme darkness and violence. It somehow dug up even the darkest corners of my imaginations, even my most unhinged ones. It felt like a beast trying to burst out of the darkness and destroy everything. However, I felt no fear. Presumably, due to the suppression of my darkest impulses. But I felt that I was holding back a truth that was never uncovered.

After finishing my daily journal for the evening on SoFurry, the image resurfaced in my head. It was even clearer than before, and actually gave me a sense of unease. To ease the sensation, I quickly took to the drawing board, and scribbled out the though that was giving me the disturbing presence. This picture was not influenced by my creativity, Me'Zelf, my actions were impulsive and slightly forced. It moved me to manifest the drawing though, indicating that this was something within my mindscape that has similarities with him. I posted the submission hastily before heading off, full of questions.

21ST OCTOBER 2021

I decide to let my natural impulses complete the drawing. It turns out to be a manifestation of my negativity, taken in a form of an insect monster with components that gave me unease. The colour choice was clear; it contained the colours that I have always struggled to express in all my previous pieces of work, yellow and lots of red. Accompanied by significant amounts of black, I knew that this was something dark and sinister. A monster.

Deciding to fully uncover it as a process of self-redemption, I dug deep into the matter by researching the psychology behind. It turns out, these apocalyptic dreams were signifying the great change I was undergoing, and this "dream eater" was devouring my lingering thoughts of the past that still hang on as restraints. This explained why it had no influences on my mood, and I even woke up with a much clearer thought every incident.

Initially I called it a "dream singularity" because of how it destroys everything with what appears to be a curse or disease. It was surreal and did not look realistic at all, so I considered it to be a curse. The difference of the manifestation of this character from Me'Zelf was: the latter took 4 weeks of discovery to manifest fully as a reference sheet, while this only took 30 minutes. When I first saw it in the dreamscape, it already had a clear form. I kept the ideas simple, naming it "Thingy".

Initially I thought that I have manifested the darkest corners of my personality, the next night proved me very wrong...

22ND OCTOBER 2021

I had a dream where this entity took over my personality in the place of Me'Zelf, in a dreamscape that resembled an alternate reality. It turned me into a rampaging beast in a human body. I had control of my thoughts, but seemingly no control as well. It just seemed like this personality was me all along.

As a note about my understanding, creativity and imaginations allowed one to bend reality by art. This happened as well, but it was the undying survivability, willpower and rage that bent the reality of my physique, allowing me to surpass physical limits. It came with a significant cost of losing nearly all sense of reservation, control and reasoning. There was this bottomless rage and fury, directed at anything in the way.

The primary obstacle was modern society... I had been oppressed by the darkness of it all life until recently, and this was my primary target in this world... I wanted to be left alone, but the system of society kept getting in the way... That led to a path of carnage and destruction, as I tore through whatever thrown at me. Somehow, I overcame everything thrown at me through sheer willpower and survivability, using everything at my disposal to get out of every situation by a hair's length. I had absolutely no regard for self, constantly putting life on the line.

I dispatched everything with the quickest efficiency possible to not give them suffering, but I had no peace. In a constant unhinged state, reacting to any opposing matter with rage and fury. There was no emotion, no peace, and no relief. The darkness seemed forever, and I only got a slight calm when seeing red. There was something unusual too, I only target those that got in the way, but leave others unharmed. As if I had a soft spot for those that sincerely don't mean any harm, and I could easily recognise those traits too. They will cause me to hesitate, before leaving them behind.

I was cornered in a location by enforcement sent by the system, face to face with an individual hesitating to take the chance to end my rampage. He asked for the reason behind my actions, which caused me to stop briefly in my tracks. I gave him time to complete his question, not before removing his weapon. He asked in a truly sincere manner, for the truth behind my actions. Instead of dispatching the individual like many other ignorant souls from the enforcement, I replied with my full reasoning.

It was twisted in a psychotic manner (I cannot remember the detailed explanation, but it was really dark), but it was to fight against the darkness of modern society. Social media, enforcement, officials, and government. All these inequalities generating oppression and negligence of the vulnerable, while fuelling the strong. Everything powered by arrogance, power and ignorance.

That's when I regained my real existing personality, and moved into a third person perspective. My alternate identity turned and walked away as a dark and blood-stained figure, as the dream slowly faded. The last glimpse I caught before waking up, was the figure transforming into a beast of darkness continue its quest. I woke up with an intense sorrow that could not be explained, wiping the tears off my face. The dream was too clear to be a normal dream. It was clearly imprinted in my memories until today.

23RD OCTOBER 2021

I spent my entire day trying to fully bring this entity into the light. The dream did not feel like a nightmare, but a highly valued insight. I noticed a marking on the manifestation on this entity that came out during the creation of the coloured reference. I isolated it, and quickly figured out its purpose.

It was a "beast of darkness", or an "inner demon". It represents the darkest corners of my personality. Yes, it was indeed a fragment of my personality that never got revealed. A hidden nature. It explained my fear towards blood, and disgust towards unnecessary violence or gore. The body marking was actually a symbol, similar to the "Brand of Sacrifice" from the story series Berserk. This manifested entity had those traits: extreme rage, survivability, willpower, and defiance. However, there were also stark differences: mine had no twisted thoughts like the "beast of darkness" within that story, mine had no intelligence, emotion or thought. That indicated that my manifestation was a pure manifestation of these dark qualities. Probably due to my generally controlled and well-disciplined nature keeping the distance from desires and indulgence.

I quickly knew how to deal with it... I could not hide it anymore because it has already taken a physical form, so I accepted it as an Original Character to accompany Me'Zelf. Surprisingly, there was no negative reaction from it once exposed into the light of my generally positive personality. Which means, bringing out my inner demon into the light rendered it harmless. I have unknowingly achieved self-balance, as this balance revealed my hidden problems to be reflected on. As an indication of my control, a permanent accessory was added to it in the form of its countering colours.

24TH OCTOBER 2021

I introduced "Thingy" formally into a serious piece of work I was working on, along with Me'Zelf. I had originally thought that it was going to be just a companion, but it brought a much bigger truth and question at the same time...

After adding its colours, I felt a sense of excitement flowing within me, prompting me to push my initial limits to add much more colour to the entire picture. It was in fact the most colourful piece of work I did till date. This has never happened before when working just on Me'Zelf, which was consisting of more dull and subtle tones. The image of rainbow colours now being nearly achieved, rang a bell in my thoughts. This fragment of my personality was much more complicated than it appeared. A question surfaced.

Why did I get even more enlightened after revealing "Thingy"? It was supposed to be an inner demon. Its colours were providing a significant positive impact on my artwork. That means... Colours can have positive and negative sides... I started to look at the meaning behind colours, which started my path in colour psychology... It sped up my path of self-discovery, all the way to the finishing line of seeking the truth behind my personality and uncovering the final fragment...

Features:

The form of "Thingy" is very simple, unlike Me'Zelf. It is a pure force of destruction when empowered by the darkness, but provides vibrant energies when in the light of positive energy. It shines like a firefly, radiating warmth, passion, and motivation, but also of a reminder of its darkest potential when neglected.

Same as Me'Zelf, it was manifested with thought without any distractions. Hence, its colour profile explains the full nature. The name was decided in... 5 minutes...

• Wasp features : head and abdomen. These insects gave me unease all life, which features were taken to manifest as an insect hybrid. Got stung by these in the past...

• Grasshopper features : legs and wings, but no modifications to the hind legs. The legs have very strong hook claws for an exceptionally strong grip. Influenced by my past drawing of them, with an accumulation of unease from all the atrocious acts committed on them years back...

• Sting : The tool to deliver a subject to the void, with no regard to their standing. It inflicts a curse that brings forth pure carnage and violence to inflicted subjects. It represents my fear of insect stings from the past.

• Spiny carapace : The indication of oppression and menace. It holds a bright red marking, the symbol of a struggler through darkness. When powered by darkness, it holds unlimited rage, malice and destruction.

• Luminosity : The abdomen, eyes, and body marking glow a vibrant red. When cleansed of negativity, it bathes anyone around with energy, excitement, and warmth. Also, it's a reminder of the oppressive and overpowering nature when exposed to significant quantities of negativity.

• Blood : red in colour. Symbolises vitality, survivability and life.

The form as a Red Firefly

A highly spiritual creature, in fact a spirit animal manifested purely from my thoughts. It strongly signifies self-redemption if directly expressed by an individual. It also indicates a self-revelation, and a significant change in the path of life for the better.

It was already naturally expressed in my art as a close companion, indicating the Firefly Symbolism. It is a reminder that on first glance, subjects may not appear as interesting as they truly can be unless viewed at the right time. Fireflies don't stand out in first glance during the day, but display near magical beauty and grace in the night.

The reason it was red and initially discovered as a beast of darkness, was due to my painful past. Fireflies represent memories of youth in the past. It also serves as a reminder of my dark natures, while providing guidance to the future.

It also has a sharp importance in the sense of awareness and balance, as its positive flame could be easily engulfed by darkness and transformed into the form of a demon again.

Conclusion...? Again?

The final discoveries of the deepest meanings underlying this character were in fact only explored when this chapter was written. I was already aware of the positive influences it could bring, but only possible when fully cleansed of negativity. But the unexpected part was the reason behind my motives to choose a firefly. Again, it reassured me with the confirmation to my beliefs: A spirit animal. Its form held a much deeper meaning than Me'Zelf's, a wyvern which symbolises power and freedom. Same like Me'Zelf, there will be an update to its reference by New Year 2022. That will reveal the positive side as the shadows fade.

The expressed colours are:

Red : eyes, body markings, lower abdomen, extreme leg segments, blood, tinges on wings

Lemon Yellow : wings, central face marking, claw, mandibles, sting, lower thorax marking

Black : entire carapace, upper abdomen segments.

Pale Red : soft body parts

Accessory : a ring around the neck in the form of a smooth collar, consisting of colours from the green to purple spectrum.

The importance of this character is, as my "spirit" or "imagination". It influences my personality, supporting my constant seek for the truth and wisdom in life. If someone tries to abuse it, I will have no respect for that ignorant individual. I will deal with those cases appropriately within the rules of the art world and society. Respect for respect in return.

I don't earn money, power or recognition with the manifestation of my personality, so I don't have anything to lose. The individuals that commit these atrocious acts will always have a darkness within the depths of their heart in the form of guilt or fake self-esteem. They can hide the truth away, but it will always be there to haunt them in the form of unease until breaking forth when they aren't in control in their worst possible nightmares.

The end of:

"BLEU" - "THINGY"