two

Story by Jacob King on SoFurry

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#2 of Drunk Work Scribblings from Fall 2019

(originally written November 18, 2019)


Life is fair, perfect, and gives everyone what they wants. Put in some effort, and you'll get exactly what you want. Want a wholesome spouse? He or she is waiting for you. Want a six-figure salary? Just apply yourself. It'll all come to you as simply as possible.

Nothing about life is hard.

It's all so darn easy!

Super easy.

Really, really easy.

I want you to read those last four sentences over and over until you vomit.

Vomit.

Until you vomit.

Have you vomited, yet?

Then you haven't read it enough times.

Read them again.

And again.

And again.

Until. You. Vomit.

Until every fiber of your being is churning to release every drop of bile in your stomach.

Until you no longer wish to read.

Until you no longer wish to breathe.

Until knowing this makes you want to stop living.

Have you vomited, yet?

I have.

I vomit every single day.

Life is so easy that I vomit every single day.

Life and vomit go hand-in-hand. They really do.

You breathe in life, then you exhale vomit.

Carbon dioxide is just air vomit.

You haven't lived until you have vomited your body weight in carbon dioxide, my friend.

Life in. Vomit out.

Vomit on the floor.

Vomit on the walls.

Vomit in my veins.

I am the result of breathing in so much easy, simple life.

There's nothing more to life than vomit, you know?

It's all vomit.

Vomit, vomit, vomit.

I want to vomit.

Every day, I want to vomit.

Every day, I want to vomit my body weight in how darn easy life is to succeed and get everything you want.

It's all just so vomitingly easy.

I will vomit until I am whole, again.

I will vomit until everything makes sense.

I will vomit until there is nothing left.

Life. Is. Vomit.