Don't Leave.
The cold winter air nips at my face. My warm breath meets the air in a puff of smoke-like condensation. The snow crunches beneath my feet as I trod down First Street in my winter coat. In one hand I hold a bouquet of flowers, while the other is dived deep in my pocket. Ontario winters are notoriously cold, and this is no different.
I normally love evening walks, the quietness of it. The stillness of the street, and of my heartbeat. But this isn't a normal evening. And this walk has my heart pounding. I am sick to my stomach. It's hard to admit you're wrong. Harder still to say it out loud.
Her apartment is across the street from a children's playground. We met years ago at this very playground.
I followed her up the slide. She was small for her age and at our youthful state, she wanted to ride down with someone. I did it with her not realizing that the very moment I did, I'd be hooked on her. On seeing her furry face. Her bunny ears. She was to become my drug. My elixir. Some nights she was the only thing that kept me going.
I walked up the icy stairs that led to her apartment building. She lived in a recently built building, many rooms still vacant. The exterior was designed to have the look of older European buildings. The interior however, screamed modern. It fit together though. I pressed the button for her room. The intercom squawked.
"Go away Stephen."
"Stacey. I just want to talk."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Stacey... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say what I-"
"Get the fuck out of here Stephen."
"I have something for you."
Silence.
"It's a lovely bouquet of Posies." She always loved Posies." Please... don't ignore me like this."
She was determined to drown me in her coldness.
"I still love you. You know I do."
"I know." She had something in her voice. It was a mixture of love and hatred. It gave me chills.
"Do you remember the time when I showed up at your doorstep in the rain? I was walking my dog when it started. The poor thing was whimpering, I couldn't get him home in time. When the thunder started he was so scared... I came here to get out of the rain. And we had a glass of wine while talking... You kissed me the first time that night. I spent the night with you, curled up on the couch with the fire heating us up."
She buzzes me up really suddenly. I open the door and take the elevator up to the top floor. I knock on her door once, twice.
"Stacey?" I hear a hard thud on the floor. "Stacey?" I call her again, louder. I pound on the door. "Stacey are you alright?" I've had enough with the formalities. I pull out my key and open the door in a panic.
Inside a find darkness, the apartment dimly lit by the moon. She is making strange, concerning sounds. I turn on the lights, and have the overwhelming desire to scream. But my voice is lost in the horror of what I see.
Her feet dangle about two feet from the floor. A necklace of rope attaches her to a cross beam. A fallen chair is slightly under her. I drop the flowers and grab the chair, shoving it under her legs. I stand on it with her. Her eyes are closed and I fear the worse. I slip her black hair and white furred head through the noose. I place her on the ground and remember what to do. I was a lifeguard for years, but I never had to save anyone. Those classes no longer a waste of time.
I turn my head to hers so my cheek lies against her mouth and nose. I feel nothing. My hands interlock and begin to compress her chest, right over the solar plexus. I don't even think about what I do. One and two and three and four... I go like that til I get to thirty. I tilt her head back and pinch her nose closed. Two deep breathes. My cheek goes to her face again.
Nothing.
I go back to chest compressions.
More breath.
Then to her face.
It's the fourth try. I'm desperate at this point. I can't lose her. I won't let her... I can't- Tears blotch my white fur.
and twenty and twenty-one and twenty-two a-
She inhales sharpely.
Little one-shot I did for creative writing. Hope you guys like it. -Kergiby