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I always wondered why it was a good idea back then to use wood as a bridge. Especially when you're gonna build train tracks on top of it.

A part of me knew I had no idea what I was talking about, but still. I had a hard time imagining that it would work. That, and I was scared that the wood would give in and I'd fall down the river. But hey, if it worked back then, then it would work now. You'd think I figured it out by the amount of times I've been here, but apparently, I haven't.

Walking on the railroad tracks was just rubbing salt in the wound, but what could I do? I'd been doing this for quite a while now. Turns out, it was a pretty relaxing for me to do. It occupied my mind and at the same time it was on the back of my head so my thoughts could meander whenever they want.

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. I was glad that I found this place, even by accident. It wasn't every day I'd find this kind of bridge, several meters above water and surrounded by a forest. It's pretty peaceful. No wonder I've grown attached to this place. It felt like home, and I didn't feel like showing it to anyone else.

"So you're just gonna ignore me? Man, that hurts, Alex."

Well, until now.

"You were quiet the whole time too, Cam," I said. "I thought you had your head up in the clouds too."

The wolf beside me smiled. "You're not the first to say that."

"That sounds like something you need to work on."

He nodded. "I know."

I shook my head. If I had a dollar every time our conversation went that way, I'd be rich by now.

Cam looked around again. I was convinced he was deep in thought when he looked at me.

"This place is pretty beautiful," he said.

"I know, right? That's why I really like it here."

"I can see why. Looks like I just walked into a movie or something."

"Yeah, I thought the same thing too."

Cam turned to me. "By the way, doesn't that hurt?"

I realized he was referring to me walking on the railroad. I also remembered I ditched my shoes way back. It probably looks more painful than it is.

I shrugged. "Nope. It's fun once you learn how to do it properly. See? I can't trip anymore!"

"What are you, ten?"

I stuck out my tongue. "I can enjoy what I want. Besides, we know I'm more mature than you are."

Cam gave me a deep-in-thought look. "Oh yeah, you're right. Your height's the one that's stuck at ten years old."

"You're taller than most people, so you can't tell me I'm short!"

"Thanks, but coming from you? That's not much of a compliment."

I punched him in the ribs. "I hate you."

Cam laughed, making me punch him again. He got the hint and calmed himself down. He wasn't the first person to tease me for my height--it comes with being five inches shorter than most people--but Cam gets a bit of a leeway from me because he doesn't linger on it too much, and I like him for that.

"Anyway," Cam shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "How'd you find this place?"

I shrugged. "I walked around, found an abandoned railroad, followed it, and I got here. And I really liked it so I came back here again and again."

"We walked for two miles. Were you that bored?"

"Maybe, or I was curious, I don't know. But you can't say it wasn't worth it."

He nods. "Sure, but that's a hell of a walk for five minutes of me time."

"You know how I am. Besides, no one else in town is stupid or deranged enough to walk that far so I can have this all to myself."

Cam looked around. "That's some dedication you have."

"Thanks, I try."

He shook his head, muttering something under his breath, which I was sure was a comment about me. I chose to let it slide, mostly because I have no idea what it was--probably harmless, I'm sure.

Cam then looked somewhere else, and I found myself looking at him. He seemed to be enjoying himself, judging by the look on his face. He always looked pretty cute when he was enjoying himself, especially with that smile on his face. It was one of the reason I went to some of his tennis matches, but I wasn't telling him that. Other than that, it was pretty cold here this time of year, but he was still wearing his sleeveless hoodie. But I wasn't complaining. If he wanted to wear a sleeveless hoodie, I wasn't stopping him. Cam then turned to me and I turned to the other side, hoping there was something there to look at.

"So why'd you bring me here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I thought you said this was your secret hiding spot or something so you didn't bring anyone here."

"Yeah, I did."

"So, what gives? Do I get a special pass?"

He did, but there was no way I was telling him that.

"You were the closest to me at the time," I said.

Cam let out an amused grunt. "All right then, but you said you just want this all to yourself. Asking anyone you know is pretty conterintuitive, don't you think?"

"Well... yeah. I do want to be alone, it's just..."

"Just?" Cam looked at me. "Alex, is there something you wanna tell me?"

My mind went haywire for a moment and I slipped. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. I couldn't say it wasn't unintentional, but what I could say was that I didn't think it through.

I tried to reach for Cam, but I failed. I fell and my back hit the rail. A dull pain then flared up in my back, peaking for a few seconds and then fading. I let out a small cry as tried to move myself properly. Cam went over to me, kneeling down.

"Jesus, Alex, you all right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I kinda maybe made a misstep."

"Kinda maybe?" Cam shook his head. "Can you move?"

I got up and my back hurt again. Cam caught on immediately and he helped me into a sitting position.

"That was a pretty weird fall," he said. "How'd you manage to slip like that?"

I shrugged. "I guess it's just one of those days."

Cam looked at me, a blank expression on his face. I waited for him to shake his head and call my bluff.

"You gotta be more careful, Alex. It could've been much worse."

No way.

"Noted," I said.

Cam stood up. "Can you still walk?"

I tried to get up again, but the moment I stood up straight, the dull pain was back. I winced, grabbing the closest thing to me right now, which in this case was Cam's forearm.

"I'll take that as a no."

"It's fine," I said. "I can still function."

"If you say so," he said. "Do you wanna go back?"

I looked at where we came from. "No. We're closer to the other side. Besides, there's something there that I want to show you."

"Is it that interesting that you'd ignore the pain in your back?"

"Yes."

He chuckled. "All right then. How do you plan on getting there?"

I looked around. "I don't know."

Cam shook his head, turned around, and crouched down. "Come on. Because you're so adamant about it."

It took me a second to understand. "Can you even carry me?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Yeah, good point."

I got up--in a way that didn't make my back hurt. I then hobbled over to him and grabbed his shoulders to support myself.

"Do you want me to ride on your back or on your shoulders?"

"Whatever makes you comfortable," he said. "But I think the shoulders would be better."

I couldn't have agreed more. I climbed on his back as if he was a boulder, which Cam didn't complain about. He had to crouch really close to the ground for me to get on his shoulders. Just goes to show how I was a foot shorter than him. Not that it was a big deal for me anymore. I was fine with it now. Besides, my height is okay... if tigers weren't so tall.

Ah, screw it. At least I could get piggyback rides from tall people.

As I got comfortable, Cam stood up, and I clutched onto his head to balance myself.

"Don't worry about it," Cam said. "If you fall over, there's at least one foot between you and the ground if I held on to you."

"Shut up," I grumbled.

I could practically sense his grin as he started walking. It took me a second to get used to being this high up. Speaking of which, I looked around. It was... weird and amazing, like I was flying. There was a weird feeling in my chest won't go away, and I liked that feeling.

"Wow, is this what you see every day?" I said.

"Why? What's the difference?"

"Everything's... smaller."

Cam smiled. "Yeah, I get that. Last week, when I went to our attic, I found my toys back then and man, did they look tiny."

"You were pretty small when you were younger."

Smaller than me, in fact. I used to act like his big brother all the time, even if he was older than me. Then puberty came along and I could only watch as he grew a foot taller than me. We had a running joke at the time about my neck hurting from having to look up at him.

The wind blew, and a few leaves flew in our direction. I lifted my hands a bit and caught one. I let it go as soon as the wind blew again.

"So what's on the other side?" Cam asked.

"If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Since when has this been a surprise?"

"Since I invited you to comer here with me."

Cam shook his head. "I thought you brought me here for company or whatever it is?"

"Now I have something to show you. So I brought you here for a surprise."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"You have no choice. You went along with me."

Cam grins. "And I'm walking for the both of us. And because I don't want to find out, I'm going back."

He stopped, turned around, and started walking in the slowest pace meant to taunt me. It worked.

"Cam, what are you doing?" I said.

"Going back." He picked up the pace. "You can stop me, by the way."

"Come on, Cam. Don't do this."

"I dunno, Alex. You can always stop me."

I looked around for whatever to do and ended up wrapping my arms around his head. I don't know what I was doing; panic took over me at that point.

"All right, all right. There's nothing much there that you haven't seen here before," I said. "I just wanted you to go there with me."

Cam laughed and turned around. "I'm just messing with you. You're pretty easy to rile up, you know that. And you can let go of my head; it's fine."

I let go of his head and leaned back a bit. "Sorry."

"It just sucks that there's nothing on the other side."

"Well, do you wanna go back?"

"Hey, I came here with you so I'll go where you wanna go."

I smiled. "If you say so."

I leaned back a bit, taking in this different way of seeing everything. I eventually noticed how his shoulders were moving as he walked. It was pretty still and consistent. He really wasn't joking when he said he could carry me, even if the evidence was right there. Thinking about it was leading somewhere weird, so I looked away.

"Man, if I knew I'd just be walking for you, I would've bailed," Cam said.

"Last time I checked, you were the one that offered," I said.

"I know. Is this why you picked me to give you company here again?"

"Again you were the closest person to me at the time, so no."

"I don't know, man. Chris and Morgan were there, too. I'm pretty sure they'd be willing, especially Morgan. Or did you guys had a fight already?"

I sighed, rubbing my snout. "No. And we stopped dating three days ago, Cam."

"Really?"

"You seriously didn't notice how we didn't talk as much as we did when we were dating?"

"Oh... I thought you just guys were just giving each space or something."

I rubbed my snout again. "You really should pick up on these kinds of stuff."

"Sorry, man, relationships just go over my head like that. I couldn't even tell sometimes when someone has a thing for someone else, even if it's obvious to everyone else. Didn't mean anything by it."

That explained it.

"It's fine," I said. "So now you know. We're still on speaking terms, by the way."

"How about Chris?"

"You know how he is. Always busy."

"He's free right now. You could've asked him."

I sighed. "I know. But can you really blame me for assuming he wasn't."

Cam shook his head. "No. Pretty sad that you'd assume that he's busy first, don't you think?"

"Kinda. Yeah."

I leaned to the side a bit to look at the river below. It really was so far down. I leaned further and then I felt Cam toppling over. I panicked, doing my best to stop us from falling over. That was when Cam stood upright, laughing. It took me a second to realize what he just did, and I hit him on the head.

"You ass!"

"Sorry, can't help it. The way you panic is too funny."

"We could still fall, Cam."

"We're gonna be fine. I can have you on my shoulders more than you think." He slapped my leg. "And don't worry, I'll make sure you won't fall."

"You better make sure we don't," I said.

He chuckled. "That's a promise."

I eventually relaxed and began massaging his ears. I figured it'd make things easier for him if I wasn't too fidgety. He didn't really complain, but he never did, so I could never be too sure.

"You really like doing that, huh?" Cam said.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"Touching my ears. You used to do that a lot when I was younger. In fact, you used to do that a lot when we were kids."

"Well, yeah. It was used to calm you down. I did it a lot because it works every time."

Cam looked up at me. "But it doesn't hurt to admit that you liked it."

"I never said I didn't."

He chuckled. "It still works now, I gotta admit. I feel pretty relaxed and safe right now. It might sound weird, but I figured out that only you could make me feel that when you massage my ears."

I felt my face flush. "It's probably because I did it when you were nine."

Cam shrugged--as much as he could, anyway. "Probably. But I don't want you to stop."

"Right now, or in general?"

"Both."

At this point, Cam could probably see me blush through my fur. Why was it so easy for him to get me so flustered? I mean, I knew exactly the reason, but why?

"By the way," Cam said. "What time is it?"

I looked up at the sky. "I don't know. Four in the afternoon?"

"We've been here for quite a while now. Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well, I agreed to go here with you, so I have all the time of day. As for you, you have a long history of doing what you want, regardless of what happens. So answer me, don't you have somewhere else to be right now?"

I gave a long sigh. "I don't. I never liked going here when I have things to do, so no. Why'd you ask?"

"Came to mind is all." He then goes silent, and I thought that was that when he spoke up again. "Hey, can I ask a question?"

"You're making me nervous." I laughed it off. "But okay, continue."

"Why'd you and Morgan stop dating? It's only been two weeks. Don't tell me it's because you're short."

I shook my head. "Not really. It kinda went downhill when she knew I liked guys too. She never really said it, but I knew she was expecting me to come out as gay, eventually. Not that I can blame her considering the other guys she dated before, but come on."

"Damn, that sucks." Cam went quiet. And then, "Wait, didn't you stop dating a guy because you told him you're bi?"

"Welcome to my world," I said.

"You're pretty happy about it."

"Well, that guy and I lasted for two months and Morgan and I even less, so it wouldn't really affect me all that much."

Besides, I realized that dating people wouldn't be the best thing for me considering my state at the moment, so us stopping was probably for the better.

"How about you?" I asked. "How are you doing in terms of dating?"

"Me? I'm not interested right now."

I looked at him. "Why?"

Cam shrugged, as much as he could, anyway. "It's not something that's top priority for me right now, and I'm on the fence on going pro too, so dating is deep in the back burner."

I didn't know that much about tennis, but I could tell he was really good at it from how he won most matches in a landslide. He was really passionate too, based on the way he talked about it with me.

"I still think you should go pro," I said. "But your choice."

"Thanks," he said. "Anyway, you know how I can't pick up cues when it comes to couples and all that, so I don't think I can manage a relationship without busting my ass more than I can."

"Wow," was all I could say.

"I know," Cam said. "So yeah, not interested. Why'd you ask, though?"

"Well, you were asking about me, so it'd be natural that I ask you the same thing."

"You just got defensive all of a sudden."

I crossed my arms. "No, I wasn't being."

He shook his head. "Whatever you say, bucko."

He really wasn't kidding.

The wind blew again, and I felt something wet on my skin. I looked up to see the sky get darker.

"Looks like it's gonna rain," I said.

"We're almost there," he said, gesturing to the forest with his snout. It's still far away.

"At this rate, we're not gonna make it."

"Hey, it's not so bad," he said. "Remember when we were fourteen and it rained when we went on that hike? You didn't complain. In fact, you were the first to take off your clothes."

Of course, how could I forget that? It was one of the funnest times of my life. Sure, I got sick after that, but it was worth it. Besides, that was the day I made discoveries about myself back then. A lot of discoveries.

"The difference between that and now is that it's right there, and the distance is spiting me." I pointed in the direction we were going.

"Sorry, Your Highness, I could only go so far with you on my shoulders."

"Boo, what a horrible knight you are."

"'Boo'? You know what, never mind the height. You're just eight inside."

"And I have the height to match that."

He smiled. "Finally owning up to it, I see."

"Of course!"

Cam laughed, and I followed suit. That was when I noticed Cam's tail wagging a lot. And so was mine. He really was enjoying himself. That put me at ease much more than I'd ever admit to him.

"Alex? You okay there?"

I snapped back to reality. "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right."

"You just went quiet all of a sudden. You scared me for a second."

"Sorry. I was thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Typical me stuff. Don't worry about it."

It was unspoken, but typical me stuff was code for it was really private and I didn't want to tell just yet. I didn't know when or how that came to be, but I do know I said it a lot of times. Much more recently.

I felt something cold and wet tap the tip of my nose. Then another on the snout. The rain was picking up.

"It's raining," I said.

"It's fine," Cam said.

"You say that because I'm practically your umbrella."

"And I'm walking for you. So we're even."

"You probably won't get sore after this while I'm gonna be stuck in bed hacking up my lungs or something. So no, we won't be."

"You're not gonna get sick because of this, trust me."

"How would you know?"

"We've been friends for ten years. I know what makes you sick as much as you do. And even if you do, then you'll see me every day you'll get tired of seeing my face. I'd be responsible after all."

I chuckled. "You'd really do that?"

"I mean, that's what friends are for, am I right?"

"Friends." I sighed. "Yeah."

"That doesn't sound like a happy yeah."

"It is, you just didn't hear it properly."

Cam looked up at me. "Come on, give me a little credit here. You could at least lie better."

I scratched the back of my head. "Sorry."

"It's fine. You usually lie better than that. What gives?"

I sighed. "I'm tired."

It wasn't a lie, but not in a way Cam was probably thinking. Lately, whenever we hung out, I'd feel exhausted over time. As much as I loved spending time with him, it got tiring. I knew it was a me problem and I take full responsibility, but still.

"You're not even doing anything," Cam said.

"I just have a lot of my mind is all."

"Man, you didn't sass me this time. Must be serious."

"Not really," I said. I looked around. It got foggier, probably because of the rain. I couldn't see that much around us. It was like we were the only ones in the world at the moment.

I found myself massaging his ear again. "I brought you here because I want to tell you something."

"Ah, fuck. It's a body, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Look, you're my friend and all, but I don't know if I'd be willing to be complicit in--"

I hit him on the head. "Not helping."

"Sorry." He laughed. "You were being really serious, and I wanted to cheer you up a bit. Anyway, what were you saying?"

"That I wanted to tell you something."

"Oh yeah. Okay, go ahead."

I shook my head and sighed. "It's kinda been on the back of my mind for a while now. And before you ask, I was a bit scared of how you'd react."

"Whatever it is, it won't be enough to make me throw you off the bridge," he said.

I smiled. "That's a start."

"I'm serious, okay? I won't run away from you or something." Cam squeezed my leg. "I promise."

Dammit, he always made me so comfortable. His smile was assuring and disarming, too. I guess him saying what he said was the thing I needed to hear. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

"I love you, Cam. I've loved you since I was twelve."

Cam went silent, and I waited for a response. The silence was short, but dragged out for way too long for me. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, and I suppressed the urge to keep asking Cam question after question. Then, after forever, he looked up at me.

"Oh, you weren't joking? Damn, Alex."

I stared at him blankly. "What made you think I was joking?"

"I don't know, I thought you were."

"I know you're this oblivious, but come on!"

He chuckled nervously. "Sorry. Not my proudest moment."

I knew this by now; I shouldn't have been surprised. But no. I wanted to keep ranting, but I stopped myself. I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"You really need to think about this more sometimes."

"Yeah, I know." Cam took a deep breath. "So you really have feelings for me, huh? It feels... weird."

"Weird how?" I asked.

"Probably not what you're thinking. It's like... I find it weird imagining someone look at me and be all flustered and stuff. Like, I look at me and I go, 'what's so great about me?'"

Oh, I could think of a few things.

"I get that," I said. "In a sense."

"So is that why you're riding me right now?"

I choked. Cam laughed as I felt my cheeks growing red. I pulled my hood down as much as I could.

"Hey, I've got no problem with it. If you want to do it again, just ask and I'd be happy to indulge you, if you know what I mean."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

I smacked him in the head again. I'd never wanted to get rid of that smug grin on his face more than now.

"Seriously, though," Cam said. "I appreciate how you feel that way for me--and I feel really flattered--but you know I don't swing that way."

I nodded. "The signs were pretty vague, but I caught on eventually."

"Sure thing." Cam then looked at me, smiling warmly. "Hey, nothing changes between us, if you still think that. You're my friend, and you will be regardless of how you feel for me."

His smile was comforting, and I found myself smiling back.

"Got it. And... thanks, Cam."

"Anytime. By the way, you can always ride me again. Just ask."

I buried my face in my hands. "Oh my God, just let it go already."

Cam laughed. "All right."

There was a weird feeling in my chest. It was hard to describe; it was like a weird mix of relief and hurt. I guess it just came with it, so I guess feeling that was a good thing?

My hoodie was soaked by the rain at this point. I took it off and I wrapped it around me. We were gonna get soaked either way, and being on top of Cam, I was going to have it worse than he did.

Cam then squeezed my shoulder, getting my attention.

"Where here," he said.

Knowing Cam, that usually meant it was within walking distance. I looked up, and sure enough, the trees and land were still several meters away from us. Well, we were walking there, so at least it was marginally better. I think.

"So we are," I said.

"Is there still something you want to show me?" Cam asked.

"I already told you there's nothing to see there."

"Maybe. But maybe there is and you're just not telling me."

"Didn't you say that there was probably nothing there like, fifteen minutes ago?"

"People change, Alex."

I sighed. "I hate you."

Cam looked up at me. "Nah, you love me."

"I do, but that's not the point."

"Sure. Doesn't make it any less true, though."

He looked at me longer than I expected. It's like he was waiting for me to do something. It might've been me, but the smile on his face was telling me that was the case.

Without a second thought--and fueled on by whatever took over me--I leaned forward and gave pressed my nose against his. The tip of his nose was cold and wet, but fuzzy.

I pulled back. "You have a point."

"Was that really needed?" Cam grinned at me.

"No," I said. "But I liked it."

He chuckled, looking back down. "Then that's all that matters."

The rain was cold, but there was a warm feeling in my chest the whole time. I didn't notice it at the time, but it felt like that nagging worry, that fear, in my head every time I was with Cam just went away. I could enjoy his company now without that fear of him knowing. It was a nice feeling.

I sighed, closing my eyes and feeling the rain on my skin as we finally reached the other side of the bridge.