FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"Hey, can I tell you something?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"It's something hard to explain, you know? You might think I'm crazy.."

"We're friends, aren't we? I wouldn't think that of you no matter what."

"Ok, then... I don't know where I should start. Well, it started last month. I finished my work earlier that day and decided to stop by the Starbucks in front of the office. It was too early to go back home, so I thought it would be a good idea to take a coffee, go to the park and sketch some random people. I've been having some trouble finding inspiration, and everytime that happens, a visit to the park helps me. It places my ideas in order."

"So I took my cup and left. And I sat there at the park, trying to sketch whatever caught my attention, drawing circles to heat up. But nothing came. I tried with a couple watching the clouds, then with a kid and his mother, even with some trees... and it didn't work. I guess I went through half of my sketchbook that afternoon, just drawing circles because it was the only thing I could do. I even forgot I had a coffee until I dropped the cup."

"But it wasn't important. It's just an art block. There's nothing bad about it. I mean, which artist has not had an art block before? It hasn't been the first one anyway. Just take some time to rest and relax, watch something good on Netflix, study the good ol' color theory, the usual stuff. I've been working a lot the past few weeks, so that probably affected me."

"But it didn't. And nothing helped me. I wanted so badly to sit down and draw. I had a lot of ideas in mind. And I wanted to see them on paper. But I couldn't pass beyond the circle from the head. Not even a straight line to make the rest of it. Just the head and nothing else."

"But that's not the weird part. I told you, it's just an art block, it will disappear on its own. The weird part came afterward. I thought about calling one of my regulars one night, Jordan, the other polar bear. But he wasn't available. Neither was Heffer or Tony. I know I should have called you from the beginning, but I guess I wanted someone else. Don't take it wrong, you know I love having sex with you. I wasn't just in the mood for that type of sex at that moment, and it was late so you probably wouldn't be available."

"Anyway, they were all busy. And now I had the idea in mind and my body refused to drop it. I was horny. And the more I ignored it, the bigger my lust grew. I didn't even notice I was rubbing my bulge till the pre stain was big enough for me to feel it. I had to take care of it."

"I tried jerking off and I thought it worked, but half-an-hour drawing damn circles and I was hard again. I wanted to fuck. I don't remember being that needy before, almost desperate. So I went and contacted a bunch of strangers, hoping one would accept. And one did. After fifteen messages, this ugly-looking boar said he was on his way back home but could spare some minutes."

"You know I have standards, right? I might be easy, but only with people that fit those standards. But he? He was... awful... in so many ways. As soon as I closed the door he jumped over me and started groping hard at my belly and ass. More than a kiss, he shoved his tongue as deep as he could and gave me barely some seconds to breathe. Hell, he even ruined my shirt by ripping the buttons away."

"And you wanna know what's the worst? I... kind of liked that. I mean, at the beginning I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to continue. I thought about kicking him in the balls and out of my home, but then he didn't look so bad. Yeah, he probably brushed his fangs last week, judging by the smell, but I started to enjoy the way he treated me. It was different."

"Different? How's so?"

"Yeah. Ahm... how can I explain it? You see... all my regulars are handsome, with good jobs, and they love sharing a moment with me, and they show their gratitude. And I thought it was ok for me to accept those gifts. I mean, I didn't ask for them, and it's rude to refuse a gift someone is giving you. But that boar had no intention to thank me for my services. He was more like..."

"He was doing you a favour."

"Yeah! Exactly! The way he acted made me feel I was supposed to thank him for giving a moment of his time to please me. After all, I was the one looking for someone, and he replied without doubt. His family was waiting him at home for dinner, but he put that aside to fuck me. That's why I didn't say anything when he threw me at the sofa without warning. No more kissing or cuddling. He made a hole in my boxers and shoved his cock with some saliva as lube. Then he finished and left. No goodbyes, just took his clothes and left me there with a sore ass."

"That's when the strange shit started. I barely had a change to explore his body, but I became obsessed with his round belly. I want a beefy body, some muscles under that fat, you know? That's the kind of body I like. That belly wasn't even good looking. But I really loved the shape it has. Almost like a perfect circle. I spent the rest of the night rubbing my guts, imagining it was his. I inflated it trying to emulate his shape, and almost passed out for holding my breath so long. I came four times before falling asleep. And as soon as I woke up, I made a draw of him."

"It was a good sketch. But it wasn't enough for me. I wanted something more detailed. So I did again. And again. And again. And then stopped. I had to get ready to work. I completely forgot I came all over myself and left like that. I was kind of happy; I had a good fuck and my art block left. So I went through my day like any other day. But something felt out of place. Something about... well, everything."

"I noticed it first during work. Everything I touched was different. I didn't like the shape of my pencil or my coffee mug, neither how my back fitted in the chair. None of those things were right, but I put those ideas behind and keep on working. Then I left, and the sensation became stronger. It was... everything was...."

"Straight."

"Everything was straight."

"A straight line."

"A straight line. The streets. The buildings. The people walking. I don't know why that shape felt odd, but I didn't like it. It was wrong. And I found it everywhere I looked at. It was making me uncomfortable. Before I noticed, my heart was pounding hard against my chest, and I couldn't stop scratching behind my head. I wanted to go back home as fast as I could."

"I can imagine how uncomfortable that was."

"It was awful. I hated every second of it. I forgot about everything and went right to my room to start drawing again. It helped me. Going back to the boar, to his body, to the shape of his belly. That round, soft, perfect shape of his belly. Then he sent a message, saying he had a great time and was eager to repeat it. I didn't want to, not after how awful and mean he was, but at the same time I looked down at my sketches and noticed how far I was from recreating his image."

"And you called him back."

"... yeah. He was... rougher than the first time, and took his time to use me. But the feeling was the same, that he was doing me a favour by spending time with me. And now more than the first time, because I was seeing and feeling his belly again. Dear lord... just thinking about it... the greasy fur, the soft skin, how warm it was, and how... how... round and perfect. I ran my hands all over it without thinking, trying to memorize every detail of it, to keep it deep inside my memory. It soothed my anxiety from the entire day like a drug. Hell, just touching it brought me more pleasure than his cock. And he didn't mind. He actually enjoyed it, I noticed it in his face."

"After he left, I went back to work. Now that I had a renewed image of his body, I had to capture it the right way. From head to toes. And especially his belly... his soft, sweet, perfect belly. I would be lying if I said I wasn't hard during the entire process. Hell, I was even gasping and huffing. The way my fingers moved, putting special attention to the curve... I can't find the way to explain how good it made me feel drawing it."

"You feel safe."

"It made me feel safe. Somehow, I feel better looking at that shape. The circle. Round and perfect. Going back to the point it began. No sudden turn. Not a boring straight path with no end. It follows the same direction... obediently. Somehow... somehow it was beautiful. And I remember my own body, how close it was to that shape. But it wasn't enough to please me. Drawing it wasn't enough either. I wanted to feel that shape more and more."

"I skipped work the next day and stayed at home, sending messages to every fat male I found at Growlr. A pig and a bull replied. None of them were like the boar. The pig was too shy and made me do all the work, and the bull was a bottom. But I still did it, as long as I could touch them. Even when their bodies were different, the shape remained the same, and it made me so happy. Because all I wanted was to feel their bodies. It's weird to say it now, considering how big my sex drive can be, but I was not entirely into the act at that moment, and had more interest in just... feeling them. It was pleasant, but not in a sexual way. I mean, it did make me horny and that, but the sensation was more close to something like going back home after a long time. Don't you think... that's weird?"

"Not at all. In fact, I believe it's great you find something that provokes that feeling."

"Yeah, it is great. I think it's great. That's why I continued. I knew two more guys weren't enough. I wanted that sensation to continue. To expand it. My ideas started to flow like a river; I don't remember the last time I actually finished with a sketchbook in such a short time. I continued searching for more fat males; ask them to fuck me, to let me touch them, or just stand still for me to draw them. And they accepted. Somehow, they complied with my necessity. It's like they wanted it too, like they noticed how important it was for me and believed it was important for them too. Of course I didn't mind giving them absolute liberty to do with me whatever their twisted fantasies desired. Sex wasn't relevant to me like it was for them."

"I had other things in mind. The perfect shape. I knew I was close to reaching it. The more I draw, the better I became at it. One circle after another. One single line moving in one direction and going back to the start. One single motion. One perfect line. Nothing could be better than that. Just doing the same thing over and over again. And their bodies inspired me--the round shape of their bellies had the same concept. But they weren't perfect, and that's what distracted me. Just like the rest of the world and its straight-looking shape."

"That's why I couldn't keep going to work. I couldn't stand that... imperfection! It was awful! Everything outside home drove me mad and triggered an anxiety I could not stop until I played with my belly. No, I refused to see that madness the others were living in! I just can't understand why everyone is so relaxed outside! None of that is perfect. None of that is going somewhere. All I see is a turn here, a turn there, a dead end, and that's it! No. It's not safe. It's not perfect."

"Then don't leave ever again."

"But that's the worst part! I started to find that same imperfection here! I became so focused on my work that I ignored the same disgusting patterns that plagued my house. I almost passed out the moment I discovered how vulnerable I was in my own bed, and if it wasn't for the boar I might have turned insane. He was the first one, after all. He's the reason why I found the beauty in such a simple yet perfect shape. Among all the males I contacted these last weeks, he was above all of them. The one that matches almost perfectly with the idea of perfection I have."

"You probably think I'm mad. I won't blame you if that's the case. I believe it myself. All this bullshit about circles and perfection surely sounds dumb. But it is how I feel. It's really driving me nuts just being here, looking at... well, everything. The windows, the chair, the bed, the walls... all of it it's nothing but a straight line. Maybe... fuck, you better don't laugh at this, but maybe that's why I stopped caring about sex. I mean, those cocks were straight too..."

The tiger smirked after hearing the bear's story. The massive beast trembled during the entire tale. His fur was sweaty. He stomped the floor with his paw. The erection visible, just like the spot of pre in his jeans. Oh, what a delightful image that was. It sent a shiver through the feline's spine.

Cheke cleared his throat. It was too soon to celebrate. A simple idea wasn't enough. Now he had to finish what he started. Give Alex the perfection he craved so much. And he knew exactly the way to break the last wall and go into the mess the bear had now for mind.

"Oh, poor little thing. I don't think you're mad. No, no, I wouldn't think such a thing about my best friend," the bear's ear twitched at that word. Cheke gave him a warming smile and continued. "There is nothing bad about looking for something that makes you feel happy. We all look for such a thing! I, for example, find happiness in helping my friends. And you, Alex, are my best friend in the entire world. So of course I'll do anything to help you! In fact, I know exactly the way."

"You do?" Oh! What a shivering mess he was. So desperate and anxious, so needy for the peace of mind he lost so long ago! Well, of course it has not been that long, just some weeks. But he knew Alex lost track of time since the moment he implanted a simple idea in his stupid little brain.

"Yes I do! Just the perfect solution for the problem you're facing. You look for perfection, am I right?"

"Yes, yes I do!"

"And you can only find it in the circle. Oh, yes, that is a brilliant representation of perfection. Point A going back to point A. There is no point B or C. There are no sudden turns or changes. No, no, just Point A. A roundabout that you should never leave. Isn't that beautiful?"

"It is. Oh God, how beautiful it is! I knew you'd understand!"

"Of course I understand my dear, dumb friend. No one understands you better than me. Not even you! That's why you couldn't find the correct answer to your little predicament. But allow me to guide you, please. Because the perfection you're looking for it's in plain sight and yet you ignored it for so long."

Alex became desperate. He was scratching the table loudly. It wasn't nerves. It was pure, sheer desperation. Cheke placed the white sheet over the table and the pencil. The bear didn't think twice and took the pencil with his right hand. Cheke leaned over him in one quick motion and nuzzled him, his green eyes glowing right at him.

"My eyes, bear. Look at my eyes and draw its shape. Do it now."

Alex obeyed. His hand started to move slowly. The pencil tip scratched the surface of the sheet and left a black line in its path. It wasn't a firm line, victim of the trembles the bear was victim of. But he still followed the shape he found in the tiger's eyes.

"You see it, right? Look deep into my eyes and follow the shape. It's a circle. A perfect circle. It's like the boar, like the pig, like the bull, but it's real and it's perfect. One simple circle that has been here all along. Waiting for you to find it."

Alex drooled over the table, but continued following the shape in the sheet. Just halfway there.

"It's the key to the peace you're looking for. The perfect shape you need so much. The circle you tried to emulate for so long it's right here, in my eyes, in my green eyes. And you know how happy that makes you feel. It makes you feel in peace. It makes you feel safe. It makes you feel... at home."

Alex whined. So close yet so far. It was perfect, and it was all he needed. And he couldn't touch it. But his hand tried his best to follow its shape. The tremble stopped, and the line became cleaner. One single motion that started at Point A and was about to reach it again. His circle. His perfection. His home.

"Now you see it. It's right here. I'm right here. All you need to be happy you'll find it in my eyes. So look deep into my eyes, boy. Look at my eyes and don't turn your sight away. Forget about everything and just look at me. You are right where you started. You are where you should be"

The pencil snapped. And the circle was complete.