Squandered
#1 of Odds, Ends, and April 1st's
I remember the day that I received my first pokemon.
"Today, I am a young man, like my older classmates!"
You smelled like the kennel; as I bathed you, I discovered your secret.
"What are the odds I'd get stuck with a girl cyndaquil?"
I never wanted to look like a pansy.
You found a pink ribbon, and wore it with pride.
I remember how you would defend me when I was bullied.
"Just give him a shove, she'll pop right out to help!"
You made it a game for them; they hit me, just to see you react.
"Why does she have to embarrass me like this?"
I never wanted to look like a coward.
You licked my wounds, and expected to be praised.
I remember being stood-up by my date for the prom.
"As if she would actually go out with someone like me!"
You gave me more than a comforting hug; I was afraid, of what might come next.
"Don't you know that what you are doing is disgusting and wrong?"
I never wanted to look like a pervert.
You cried in your sleep, and awoke a different person.
I remember filling my life with school, work, and more work.
"I will become successfull, no matter what it takes!"
You tried to stay close to me; I pushed you away, any way I could.
"Haven't you noticed that I don't have time for you anymore?"
I never wanted anything more than a normal life.
You handed me your ball, and I deactivated it for you.
I remember lying exhausted in my bed, barely making ends-meet.
"Is this my normal life, or was I living it before?"
I bought a doll shaped like you; I added a ribbon, and clutch it in bed.
"I am a pansy, I am a coward, I am a pervert, and I need you more than ever!"
I never wanted to feel this cold.
I swallow all of the pills, and pray you can forgive me.