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The legend of Derris began on a day that, to him, seemed rather ordinary.

The sand burned the pads of his heavy paws, but the large and usually vigorous wolf couldn't muster the energy to care. On hot blinding days like these, it seemed that the ambient tyrannical warmth drained his will and his patience. Even the wind blew only more scalding air through his thick fur, as if he'd accidentally wandered into a convection oven -- not that he knew what a convection oven was.

High temperatures didn't agree with Derris the wolf.

The beach was unsurprisingly crowded; for many this was a beautiful summer day that represented the perfect excuse to avoid doing much of anything, though this was no vacation for Derris. He kept stumbling forward, moved by the basic need to seek shade and cool water.

The wolf barely noticed them, but people around were definitely surprised -- and many were also quite pleased -- to view the details of his chocolate-colored fur, his darker mane which descended along his spine all the way to his tail, his chiseled chest and abs, not to forget his mighty thighs and arms... his defined, handsome rear... These were observable largely due to the fact that Derris didn't wear clothes. He knew of clothes, naturally, as lots and lots of people often insisted on talking to him about them, but in his view, clothes were all just a very silly idea. He could understand why odd, defenseless creatures like humans might want to wear them as fur substitution, but for a wolf? It made no sense. He didn't get it.

At last, the beautiful shiny water appeared right in front of him! The wolf was about to soak in and finally enjoy some measure of coolness when he heard a voice calling him from behind. It was a voice that he recognized, and he slowly took little steps to turn around. Wolf Ali was waving and jogging toward him with a cheery wag of his blue tail.

-- Yo Derris! I saw you dragging yourself by. How are you doing, buddy?

-- Wolf... hot.

-- Yeah, I know what you mean. You just have to take your mind off of it! Hey, we were having a little bit of a muscle show right over there. You know you'd fit right in!

You see, gentle reader, Derris the wolf was an extremely burly male of a lupine that took great pride in his distinctly defined physique and taut, impressive muscles. For a wolf that most certainly lived a bit on the wild side, this was core to his existence, enabling him to hunt efficiently and fight off potential threats. Much time and effort in his days were dedicated to maintaining and improving his form. Incidentally, he also quite liked it.

Thus, when Ali pointed out the muscle show, and Derris turned around to give it a glance, part of him leapt with genuine puppy-like enthusiasm. In a flash, he detailed the venue, which was happening in a small fenced off area of the beach reserved for fitness, as well as the participants, most of whom he'd never seen before. They seemed to be chatting together amicably, with some flexing or engaging in low-stakes arm wrestling. They drank punch. Sadly, however, the heat quickly won out and colored everything in a negative light. The fenced area had no shade. The participants weren't all that impressive to Derris -- one of them was a tiny green lizard with leaves on his head and barely any muscles at all. Besides, he didn't even like fruity punch. The harsh sun made him a grumpy wolf.

-- Wolf not go... Others too weak. If Derris go, too impressive. They develop crushing self-esteem issues, last for years. Not worth.

Ali opened wide eyes and laughed it off.

-- What? Of course not! You're way overthinking this! C'mon, we'll show off and have fun. Everyone will love you!

-- Said no. Is too hot. Wolf already panting. And people bother Derris about silly clothes. Don't want.

-- Well, yeah, admitted Ali. It'd probably be more appropriate if you put on something, otherwise they might be uncomfortable. That's no trouble, though! I brought an extra tank top and a pair of shorts. They should fit, though they might be a bit tight, so you'd have to be careful with them. They're just like mine. Look!

Ali was indeed wearing red shorts with white lines and a sleeveless top. With a wink, he posed to display how handsomely his blue-furred muscles rolled as he exhibited his strong arms. It wasn't enough to convince Derris.

-- No, see? Wolf told you. Clothes stupid. Don't want. Derris show off muscles only with people don't mind Derris as is. Now swim. Too hot.

The mighty brown wolf resumed dragging himself toward the water. Ali adopted a cunning smirk.

-- Are you sure? Maybe you're just a bit nervous.

Derris immediately stopped and frowned, irritated.

-- No. Not nervous.

But Ali continued with a super annoying grin.

-- Nah, I think you're afraid I'll shame you with my awesome physique!

-- Wolf not afraid! Not liar! Ali lie!

Derris was getting agitated and angry, and it became clear to Ali that this wasn't a good approach, so he backed off.

-- Alright, alright. Take it easy, I was just teasing you. You're right; I know you're not a liar.

As swiftly as he'd gotten irate, Derris calmed down and returned to his previous moodiness. The blue wolf tried a different strategy:

"Okay, then, how about this? We'll go and have fun with the guys for a while, and afterwards, you're invited to my place for lunch! I made roast beef and there'll be diced potatoes, pan-fried in olive oil until they're golden, crunchy and delicious."

Derris' deep eyes lit up a bit. He spoke tentatively. There was the tiniest hint of a wag in his tail.

-- Ali share his meat?

Ali detected the opening and expertly rushed through while he could.

-- Of course! Are you hungry? Savory juicy red beef! What's more, I have AC at home!

The grumpy wolf took pause, his foul mood hesitantly changing to anticipation.

-- Wolf a little hungry. Aycee is cold wind trapped in box?

-- Yes, exactly! Remember how much you loved AC, last time?

-- Derris remember! Mysterious cold wind is nice in fur.

The brown wolf hesitated one final moment, and then:

"Change mind. OK. Derris go with friend. Show off arms and pecs! Have fun together. Meat after, and Aycee. Forget mean sun."

The blue wolf energetically cheered this decision.

-- Deal!

Minutes later, Derris had changed into Ali's brand new set of flashy spare clothes, and they headed toward the fitness area. I can attest to you, dear reader, that it was a shame the great brown wolf had no appreciation for clothes, for he couldn't know how extravagantly awesome he looked in Ali's tightly wrapping colorful sportswear! His ripped abs gleamed gloriously with the smooth textile under the sun, and the contrast with his fur couldn't possibly avoid drawing every passerby's attention to his naked toned arms, like a lupine divinity descended straight from Mount Olympus to impart simple mortals with his ideal sculpted form. A divinity that would've made a short stop at a fancy sports shop, of course.

Anyway, to Derris, it was mostly just a massive annoyance; a bothersome prison of fabric that futilely attempted to contain him. He tolerated it merely because he knew it would be important to the other participants to the muscle show. Deep down, he loved to fit in and make new friends as long as he felt the efforts demanded of him weren't too unreasonable.

As soon as Ali returned with the new arrival, the pair of wolves drew quite a bit of attention. There were many reptiles out on the beach that day, warming themselves up in the shiny sand: bodybuilding lizards, dragons and nagas. Ali got pulled aside for a few minutes by the smaller green lizard that Derris had noticed earlier, because the reptile wanted to show him his new super awesome yellow hoodie, or some other clothes-related nonsense. Derris wasn't left alone for long, though. One of the serpentine beings swiftly approached him, intrigued by the newcomer. The naga wore a black tee-shirt over his white scales and offered a glass of punch, but from the overly sweet smell alone, the wolf wasn't interested and turned up his nose. The naga didn't let that discourage him.

-- Well, in this case, perhaps you'd prefer a nice match of arm-wrestling while we wait for the next competition? I must admit, I was looking at you from a distance, and Ali wasn't kidding when he said he knew some truly strong wolves! I was just telling him earlier how, in my personal experience, mammals have never been exactly... impressive. I had no idea they could possibly measure up to us reptiles when it comes to raw strength! If you were willing, I'd be eager to measure up against you, for you also look like you might offer a somewhat adequate challenge. Do you think you would stand a chance?

As he talked on and on, the white naga couldn't help but pose and flex, pumping his scaly upper body, flatteringly espoused by the black shirt. It was true that the white snake appeared to be one of the toughest people around, but Derris wasn't worried at all about his ability to change this arrogant reptile's mind. If anything, his aggravating opinions gave the wolf's fighting spirit a significant rise, despite the less-than-comfy weather.

-- Only arm? he smirked. Wolf not care for boasting... too much. But wolf can wrestle full body too, crush you like grape if want!

-- Whoa, down boy. Let's take things one step at a time, shall we? Best make sure you're not biting more than you can chew.

The naga flexed hard and gave his own bulging bicep a prideful glance.

"This is pure reptile beef. Just like steel. Go ahead, touch it. Know what you're getting into."

With a grin, Derris showed his lack of fear and went ahead to touch the slick-scaled muscle. He squeezed it unashamedly with his powerful clawed fingers.

-- Is hard, granted the wolf. But is not harder than this! See real hunter strength!

With a wide grandiose gesture, Derris flexed both arms. In turn, the bold naga slithered closer and tested the tense muscle with his two hands. He wrapped the bicep and felt it appreciatively with his palms. The snake slowly undulated with pleasure, closing his eyes.

-- Ah, yes! That's very, very hard... but not quite like my steel. Close, maybe. Certainly not disappointing, for a canine.

A small crowd of body-building enthusiasts had begun to gather, keen to witness that interesting little situation that was developing between these two robust, strapping males. Ali picked that moment to return, along with his green lizard buddy that Derris deemed to be insufficiently built. How could he keep up with prey in the forest, or fight off intruders to protect his food and friends? The great brown wolf felt so sorry for him that he made up his mind to later offer that pathetically underdeveloped creature to train. After merely a few months of intensive on-location training with Derris in the wild, that meek lizard would have some serious progress to show for sure! Nevertheless there was little time for this consideration in the moment. Not while a direct challenge to this alpha wolf stood unanswered!

-- Hey guys! said Ali, chuckling. I see you two didn't waste any time locating each other! Did Saigar tell you about his "interesting" theories, Derris?

The brown wolf grumbled defiantly.

-- Think wolf are weak. Are not! Derris gonna prove stronger.

-- I know, right! exclaimed the blue wolf with the playfully cocky smile of someone who's about to throw oil on a fire. These reptiles are pretty darn arrogant to believe they can measure up to us wolves.

-- Hey! protested the leafy green lizard. We can be just as strong, if not more!

Rumors of amused objections ran among the buff reptiles in the still growing crowd of witnesses, while most mammals gathered on the side of the stalwart brown wolf. Very soon, the two dozen participants to the muscle show had split evenly and were attempting to support, evaluate and compare the respective power of their improvised defenders. Everybody got hyped for an exciting little unofficial contest, and the small arm-wrestling table was brought to settle this matter of "exceedingly high stakes" -- which was most absolutely and definitely NOT an excuse to watch the hot contestants struggle.

Derris confidently sat down in front of the naga that Ali had called: "Saigar", and firmly grasped his scaly hand, taking position. The public stared from a bit too close, so the blue wolf wisely had them back off a step or two, knowing what kind of force was potentially about to be deployed. That precaution would almost immediately prove valuable. Someone gave the "go" signal, and the public cheered as the challenge began!

The wooden table creaked painfully to punctuate the fact that Derris and Saigar both suddenly put their entire weights on it, as their powerful muscles tightened and measured each other in this unforgiving physical trial. For a second, there, nothing really moved as both opponents focused and exerted themselves in delightfully overwhelming fashion. The public ceased shouting and gasped as one when the locked arms suddenly began to tremor as Saigar grunted with terrible effort. It looked like one of the rivals was about to secure an explosive triumph!

But instead it was the table that exploded.

Derris and Saigar both nearly fell forward as the legs gave out and the dry wooden table broke into pieces. After the initial shock, laughter took the crowd. They applauded the magnificent display of raw might, but the tall wolf rose from the rubble sorely disappointed. He was happy that the naga hadn't immediately crumbled, and he welcomed the joyful slight pain in his arm and shoulder. He wished that they could've completed that match. He wanted to beat that white reptile! Saigar appeared of a similar mind. He rubbed his arm and said:

-- Well that was rather...

-- Anticlimactic, completed Derris.

Everyone gaped silently. Even Ali. The brown wolf folded his arms over his proud chest, pointing his vexed muzzle up and away.

"What? Wolf know words."

The moment passed. The crowd began to disperse as participants returned to their event and previous preparations. Ali and the green lizard approached the pair of adversaries.

-- That's too bad about the table, said the lizard, but I imagine you and Saigar could join the next contest to solve your dispute? I sure hope so!

He glanced at the chiseled males with a guilty secret smile, and excitedly wiggled his fake ears made of leaves. Ali moved toward Derris to pat his shoulder with a strangely self-satisfied expression.

-- Wait until you hear what the next contest is, Derris, he teased.

-- What is? asked the other wolf, puzzled.

-- Pecs crushing.

***

Unbeknownst to every other participant to the muscle show, save for Ali, the crushing of stuff using the sheer monstrous power of his pectorals was one of Derris' great specialties. Many an enemy met their unavoidable end trapped between his invincible pecs! From the moment he knew this was the venue in which they were to compete, the wolf had known exactly how it would end, and, my precious reader, I must concede that he was right. Derris had a lifetime of practice for this, and he couldn't possibly lose. In a way, he was a tad upset about it, because now the challenge was gone. Even though it wasn't his fault they had chosen a contest that favored him so heavily for their venue, it felt a bit like cheating. Oh, well. At least, he would properly obliterate the competition. The anticipation managed to make the burning sun bearable.

Only a handful of burly men decided to enter the contest, including Ali, the feeble lizard -- who'd joined as a joke -- and, more interestingly in the context of our tale, the white naga, Saigar. The first challenger was a burgundy and well-built bull, who obviously trained a lot, and had become quite sweaty in the ambient heat. The first round demanded that each challenger crush an empty soda can with their pecs. Here we are talking about steel cans, of course, not squishy aluminum ones.

The bull walked in the center area designated for the contest, picked a can, and despite the slippery sweat covering his hot manly pecs, he managed to curve his upper body and to power hard enough to compress the can noticeably with a forceful shout. Appreciative applause followed by a few shy whistles ensued. Derris was not terribly impressed, but the bull was pleased with his own performance, and the wolf did not begrudge him that. He was pretty fit guy, and certainly deserved to be proud about his physique, even if it could've been better.

Second to go was the green lizard, and despite hilarious and honest efforts, he predictably failed to make any dent in the can, and was eliminated. Like, from the contest, I mean. Not crushed to death by sexy muscular males for his failure... He simply rejoined the other onlookers to watch the impressive displays.

Ali followed and destroyed the can easily under thunderous applause, as Derris expected, and then another competitor that was a hefty orange dragon, and finally it was the naga's turn, right before Derris would go last.

Saigar made quite a presentation of himself, and with a boastful rotation of his massive shoulders, squeezed the steel can between his bulky scaly pectorals with obvious ease. People were amazed and celebrated, but went silent when Derris subtly took position and readied up. Someone handed him the can he had to compress, and he lodged it solidly between his bulging and colossal chest muscles. He gave a proud smirk around, and with a single swift and masterful impulse, the object was utterly and completely flattened by his perfect chocolaty pecs, with a loud sound of crumpling metal. The movement was so violent, it sprayed water from inside the rinsed can in a thin mist. At least two people lucky enough to witness this mythical moment opened their mouths so wide in awe that they dropped their popsicles in the sand, yet they regretted nothing!

Derris didn't say a word and returned to his place. There was no need to boast at all. This simple action spoke more efficiently that anything he could've possibly said.

As if time resumed, the crowd suddenly erupted and moved toward the great wolf possessor of these most evidently godlike pecs, looking from up close and asking permission to respectfully stroke the epically firm and yet soft-furred wolf muscle, which Derris was happy to allow, because he loved a stout rubbing in the right areas. Some even asked him to write his name down on pieces of paper, which puzzled him terribly. Derris had never heard of autographs.

Caught in the frenzy of the moment after having rubbed the most amazing pecs in the world, the small green lizard innocently reached to pet the dark tail, near hypnotized by its fuzzy and content swishy wag. Extremely luckily, Ali saw it in time and grabbed his wrist to stop him, saving the lizard's life. Gently but gravely, the blue wolf shook his muzzle from left to right. The lizard snapped out of his trance, and learned that this was forbidden, but he would never quite understand how close he'd floated to his doom, like a moth to a flame.

Meanwhile, from the sidelines, Saigar frowned, equally impressed by what he'd seen, but decided not to let the brown wolf win so easily. Thus, the true battle began.

They squashed bigger cans, and then increasingly hard fruit -- Ali was the last competitor outside of Derris and Saigar to drop out once they made it to crushing large coconuts -- but seemingly nothing could stop Derris, whereas the reptile became more and more visibly exhausted, and grew slightly desperate as the competition went on, with his pectoral scales looking bruised and shivering.

The crowd was ecstatic. They'd never witnessed such a luxurious parade of exciting pectoral accomplishment! They eagerly awaited each successive round, but at last it was announced that the organizers hadn't prepared anything else. They'd expected the contest to be over quite a while back!

Saigar released a sigh, but Derris wasn't satisfied with this at all.

-- No! Wolf want settle this.

-- I can't, breathed Saigar. I admit that I'm outmatched. Your pecs are more powerful than mine, wolf! What a total humiliation!

The naga adopted a nasty grin before he continued:

"But if you truly wish to prove your superiority, why don't you try crushing this?"

Saigar slithered a few meters away and bent to pick up a large rock. A few people booed the obviously spiteful suggestion, but Derris squinted in focus, considering the rock. The public rapidly noticed and started whispering. Ali moved forward.

-- Wait Derris. That's a rock! Surely even you can't crush stone with your pecs... right?

-- Not sure. Derris try.

The mood darkened as everything turned much more serious than ever before. A stone? Impossible... was it? I swear to you, my precious reader, even the clouds overhead gathered to spectate, blotting out the sun as a sudden fresh breeze rose and blew into the wild fur of the last standing wolf, like a lonely ancient hero about to face his destiny. He pointed one finger to the abashed naga, throwing the most sharpened lupine stare, and pronouncing two words so epic that, somewhere else on a different continent, their echo rumbled the earth:

"Bring rock."

Derris took the rock, and after a moment of preparation, shoved it between his pecs. He took a deep breath, and every witness inspired with him.

He struggled.

Yes, this time, Derris had selected a veritable challenge. One that was impossible, of course. Everyone knew that. Yet, he pumped and pumped his pecs, and the strength displayed was so incredible that the bull from earlier fainted from the mere sight of the pressure applied on that rock. No one dared to budge a muscle, busy trying to help the titan wolf in spirit, sensing the harshness of his trial, and the brutal honesty of his attempt. He was trying his best, deploying every shred of his strength. He grunted and growled, his large pointy ears folding in single-mindedness, ignoring pain and fatigue as he tried harder and harder to do the impossible. To crush a rock with the pure force of his pecs!

The rock resisted stubbornly because... it was a rock! This couldn't be done; but it wouldn't be exaggerating to tell you that, for a magical moment, the rules of the world appeared to be lifted, and the witnesses believed. Perhaps it was a low cracking sound that somebody heard first, or possibly it never happened, and was a collective hallucination caused by the intense hope and concentration, but all the onlookers suddenly gasped together, and prepared to watch stone be shattered by pure muscle. For but a moment, they thought it would happen despite everything they knew, and Derris launched a mighty roar of terrifying effort and ultimate endurance.

It didn't work. The wolf had tried, but he'd failed. He released the rock into the sand and panted. The clouds cleared up and the sunbeams shone once more upon the beach. Everyone waited to hear what he would say.

"No. Wolf not able... Yet. Keep training, crush rock later."

-- No way! said Ali. You did it! We all heard it crack!

-- Yeah! said the green lizard.

That didn't persuade Derris, but the others couldn't be convinced otherwise. It didn't matter all that much to him, whether he'd done it or not. He knew he could merely keep training and get a decisive victory some day. This was no longer about wolves or reptiles, or even the unimportant naga; it was solely about Derris' sense of self-accomplishment, so he shrugged and let the others think whatever they wanted. He was quite happy about himself.

Saigar, however, did appear displeased that even his absurd challenge had totally failed to fluster the wolf. Some of his reptile buddies attempted to cheer him up, including the small green lizard:

"You did amazing too, Saigar! Don't worry, man. Hey, why don't you show him that trick you do?"

Suddenly, the white naga was fully invigorated indeed. He dashed in front of Derris, eager to impress him.

-- Hey wolf, check this out! Here's something you definitely can't do!

Saigar lifted his arms high up to the sky, and began to... sway. Using precise movements of his plump muscles and his natural snake flexibility, he somehow managed to push his own tight black shirt up, ever higher, merely with these odd muscular vibrations. It was, in fact, super cool to watch. After about thirty seconds, the reptile had succeeded in taking off his shirt completely, without ever dropping his arms.

"Tadaa!" he said. "Impressive, no?"

The other attendees to the muscle show certainly agreed, and it was then and there that Ali the wolf made his most critical mistake: he gave Derris' back a good tap and spoke.

-- Ha! Ha! He's got you there, Derris! You can't take off your clothes with only your muscles!

Derris' response was immediate.

-- Pfff. Wolf can, easy. Remove clothes even faster!

Ali barely had time to realize his fatal error. His eyes went wide, and he reached toward his friend with one hand.

-- Derris, no, wait! I didn't mean-

But it was much, much too late. With a sudden contraction of all of his mighty body's muscles at the same time and a powerful bark, the brown wolf burst through Ali's precious sportswear as shreds of ripped red textile flew and left him totally naked. The sudden blast of unexpected lupine attractiveness and nudity, combined with the stimulation of the events of the day, caused that specific vision of Derris' rugged hotness to be too much for most minds, and a panic ensued.

Freed from his annoying prison of clothes, Derris looked around, satisfied with his clothing-removal performance, seemingly not noticing the attendees running in circles and screaming. He nodded contentedly while all but Ali fled the scene, assaulted by images of an overly appealing undressed new legend. The blue wolf face-palmed.

"It's my own fault," he grumbled. "I only have myself to blame. Well, I guess this means the show is over."

A wide toothy smile appeared on Derris' muzzle, and his tail wagged excitedly.

-- Meat?

-- Yeah, buddy, let's go. It's way too hot here.

-- Told you, added Derris.

The wolves left together and headed toward Ali's place, and this marks the end of our tale: the legend of Derris the wolf. As your humble narrator, in truth, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that, even though only the events stated above can be confirmed as definitely totally true, some claim that the day after the muscle show, when locals returned to inspect the beach where such grandiose events transpired, they found the challenge rock exactly where it'd been abandoned, broken in halves.