Low Blow Quest chapter 8

Story by mmrr on SoFurry

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#8 of Low Blow Quest

The group finds themselves at the mouth of a cave for the magic weapon, but it won't be too easy.


"I'm just saying she went to cannibalism really fast. She probably really wanted to eat em beforehand" Morn said as she walked. The group had found the Devil's Valley. That was the easy part. The hard part was finding the stone gate leading to where the demonic club was being kept.

Pinching the bridge of her nose Kuni was exasperated. "Can you please not accuse my goddess of such things."

With a clattering of teeth the skull wizard, Kozor, spoke up "I can't imagine angering the divine being a particularly good idea."

Putting up her hands the orc concluded. "Fine fine, if both of you are so scared of a little goddess I'll stop. Changing the subject because you are cowards, are all oni affected by this curse?"

Happy that divine retribution was no longer a threat the crimson woman responded "Not all of them, no. The oni are scattered and rare people. I've been to other tribes but they do not share our affliction. Members of my Newhalf tribe are generally seen as cursed and not welcome. They have their own version of my story. It's more of my tribe commiting a great sin and being punished. I do not buy into it."

Morn put a hand on her red friend's shoulder. "I can imagine it's hard to get a straight answer from people you can never meet."

Kuni was unsure if she referred to the goddess or the other tribes, but the sentiment was appreciated.

"Lovebirds, looks like we are in the vault." Kozor said

"How are you so sure?" asked the orc, looking down at her hip where the skull was tied.

"Now, I may not have eyes anymore but even I can see the open door."

Feeling a gush of wind coming on the green woman looked around and just as the wizard said there was an impressively large stone gate, now wide open. There were markings all over the open doors. The passageway itself led to a comparatively smaller hallway, barely large enough to accommodate a fully grown ork to stand upright.

"Bring me closer to the markings. I might be able to read this." Said the undead wizard.

After unlatching him the orc held him up to get a clear view of one of the doors. She looked over the oni "at least this saves us the trouble of opening the dang thing."

"It may also save us the trouble of finding the club too, if someone was already here."

After some muttering the skull spoke. "I can only make out some of this. It's the usual 'danger, keep out, all who enter are damned' sort of thing. More importantly this is the writing style of the Dixron."

Stifling a snicker Morn responded. "never heard of em."

"Not surprising" Kozor said "but to be fair not much is known about them. All that is left of them are these vaults, all holding dangerous items. Most likely they wanted to lock them away from the rest of the world. It's impossible to tell exactly how long this club has been in here. Could be thousands of years old. Maybe even more."

"All I care about is if it's magic." Morn said with a shrug.

"Magic is subject to age too. It may not be as strong as it was back when it was first locked up."

The orc got worried that this journey may all be for nothing but she dispelled the thought. "Gawking around here won't do us any good. Let's just find this damned thing and head back to my lizard master. I wanna punch fire already." The excitement in the woman's voice as almost palpable. The whole group stopped dead in their tracks when they heard a voice cry out from deeper in the dungeon. Morn held the wizard's skull out in front of her, using his glowing eyes as a lantern. They were able to make out a pair of legs dangling from a hole in a wall.

"A little help here please!" The voice called out once more.

"Is that a Dixron?" Kuni asked, getting closer.

Morn shone the skull closer, revealing the legs were clad in all black. The creature wore simple sandals. The bottom of the creature was very notable too. It had black pants covering it, the hips had no fabric over them, leaving green flesh exposed. The hips themselves were very wide, being greater than Morn or Kuni. The legs were not long, being half the length of an average human. What transfixed all involved was the behind of the creature itself. With each kick from the stuck person the fat ass cheeks jiggled and wobbled in an almost hypnotic display. The hole it was stuck in being only half the width of her hips, making this a truly hopeless display.

"That is for sure a goblin." Morn stated matter of factly.

If Kozor had eyebrows he would raise one "how can you be so sure?"

"I had one of these big green asses in my face not too long ago." She stated without a hint of shame.

"Will you stop staring at my ass and pull me out?" the goblin said, with some annoyance in her voice.

The taller green woman and red woman looked at each other and shrugged. Each grabbed a foot and pulled.

It took some effort but they pulled out the goblin. She fell to the ground, but with surprising grace she recovered and stood upright. The greenskin girl stood just a little higher than the two adventurers belly buttons. Her weight distribution was very bottom heavy, with her wide round hips being her widest point by far. Her clothing wasn't tight but a pot belly was noticeable, as were her small breasts. Her outfit was very dark with her cleavage exposed through part of her top being fishnet. She had various pouches on her person, and holstered on her hip was a sharp sickle chained to a metal weight. Her face was half covered by a cloth and her hair was pulled back into a short ponytail.

She pulled her mask down, showing a pointy teeth in a big grin. "Many thanks, my tall friends. Glysh is my name, master rogue."

"Why was a master rogue stuck in a wall?" the skull asked, still held up by Morn.

"Ah, an orc necromancer, most impressive." Said the short woman. "I was looking for a shortcut to the end, sometimes dungeons have them." She said as she picks up a small backpack hidden behind a pile of rubble.

"Don't give her credit for my magic, damnit!" Kozor yelled. He was quickly silenced by Morn clamping his jaw shut.

"How about you get more credit when you can cast a spell more often than once a couple days?"

The skull, for his part, tried to voice a protest but it was stopped by Morn keeping his mouth shut. They were all interrupted by hearing a new yell.

"There she is!"

The trio of women turned their heads to the entrance of the dungeon. They saw five humans, each of them dressed in the yellow and white of the golden order. Each of them drew a sword. There were two women and three men. A blond male pointed towards Morn and yelled again. "She's the one with the bounty on her."

"Not these assholes." Muttered the goblin as she drew her weapon.

The oni drew her axe and asked "you know them?"

"Not them personally, but these Golden Order fucks stiffed me on a job and then tried to turn me stiff as a board."

Morn got confused "goblins have the same curse as oni?"

The skull clattered furiously "we have bad guys with weapons here, can we chat later?"

Morn didn't have time to holster the wizard and was forced to just drop him to effectively hold her spear. The two groups charged at each other, with the skeleton being kicked up by mistake. He flew through the air, cursing and screaming all the way. He found himself flying towards a male Order grunt and opened his jaws, hoping to hurt him as much as he could. When he felt he hit the human he clamped his mouth shut. A surprisingly high pitch yell was his reward, as well was the sound of a metal sword clanking on the ground. With a bit of a shock he found he had bit down on the blond man's groin. Under normal circumstances he would be appalled by this, but since it was a Golden Order goon, he decided to keep biting.

Morn jabbed her spear forward, only for a female Order grunt to deftly dodge out of the way each time. She yelled in frustration and stabbed out once more, only for her enemy to bring her sword down, cutting off the spearhead. "It won't do you much good now, greenskin!'' The orc simply pulled her ruined spear back and jabbed it forward again, catching the woman in the mid section as she gloated and pinned her against a wall. The strike had hit the human where one of her ovaries. The small sensitive organ was compressed to near popping inside her body. Instantly she fell to her knees in more pain than she previously thought possible.

The blond man screamed and ran, confused and in too much pain to think clearly. He looked to his companions but each was already locked in battle with their own foes. with tears in his eyes he reached his hands down, putting them between the jaws of the angry skull. With great effort he was able to pry its mouth open. A wave of relief washed over him as the pain in his groin temporarily subsided. This was short-lived as the skull bit down again, this time crunching the man's fingers on one hand. Once more he screamed and ran.

Glysh spun the chain attached to the metal weight above her head. The golden order soldier kept his distance, not sure how to battle a foe with this type of weapon. The goblin swung forward the chain wrapping around her foes sword. With a smirk she yanked back as hard as she could. Her smirk vanished when the man kept his grip on his blade. This time he reached a hand forward and grabbed the chain, dragging the goblin closer to him. The smaller greenskin struggled, but found herself being drawn to him. She looked behind the man and found something that would help her. She let go of her weapon, causing the man to stumble backwards. He lost his footing and fell onto his back. Glysh lept up and slammed her ass down on the man's gut. The force of the impact forced all the air from his lungs and he struggled to breathe. She straightened her hand and chopped at the man's neck, knocking him out.

The blonde man tripped and fell on the ground, the pain in his fingers being overwhelming. Panicking he waved his hand in the air, hoping the skull would come off from the force. He looked around frantically and found his salvation. a sizable enough boulder lay on the ground. He reeled his hand back, hoping to break the bone of the skeleton biting him. Kozor saw what the man was planning and let go halfway as he was being swung down, to roll away a few feet unharmed. The man realized this too late, smashing his already injured hand against the stone with a crunch. He simply curled up, defeated.

Kuni swung her axe in a wide arc, keeping the two goons who faced her at bay. "Shall I let you run off and get more friends?" she bellowed, as another swing almost took the head off of one golden order man. The golden order woman stabbed her blade forward, cutting the oni on the hand. She dropped her axe as she reeled in pain. The two humans were emboldened by their strike and moved in. The oni growled in anger and moved in as well, grabbing both of her opponents faces. With all of her strength she threw both of them forward. They both struck the floor on their backs. Kuni ran forward and leapt into the air. She leaned back and extended her elbows to either side of her. The crimson woman slammed down her elbows as hard as she could on both human crotches. With the combination of oni strength and weight both Golden Order troops were reduced to blithering messes.

Morn gathered her wizard companion and picked him up by the top of his head. "You beat someone's ass when you are only a head. Respect."

"Many thanks, my green friend. Don't suppose you'd let me possess you when I regain my strength?"

"Don't push it." Morn said sternly. "But we still have one baddie here conscious, what should we do with him?"

The three women gathered around the bitten man. He cradled his hand, and sat on his rear, looking pleadingly at the colorful ladies.

"Suppose one quick chop will do him in. I won't mind doing it." Kuni said, hefting her axe on her shoulder.

The goblin stepped in. "You lack creativity. I know something way worse for this dick."

The human was about to speak, but his speech was cut off as Glysh tossed the metal weight into his groin. The weight itself faintly glowed and soon the man's crotch did as well.

"Wretched sinner, curse on you until you repent!" the goblin said, with a wicked grin. The bulge in the man's pants seemed to shrink rapidly and flatten out.

The human curled up, holding his aching manhood. It wasn't long until his pained moan turned into panicked yells of "It burns!"

"Did you break something?" Morn asked

"Just his pride." The small greenskin said as she yanked off the human's pants. The three women were greeted by the sight of an embarrassingly small set of dick and balls. "what did you do?" Stammered the blond man

"I cursed you! my weapon has the ability to shrink parts of anatomy" she said with a snicker "and your manhood will remain like this unless you go without misdeed for a whole month. And I can assure you that staying with the Golden Order or helping your pals to try and seek us out again will count as a misdeed."

The skull clattered. "ya know, I died once. It's not too terrible."

Morn held his mouth shut "this is way more cruel."

The goblin moved further into the cave and returned with a gold coin balanced on her sickle. "Here, a little something to further motivate you in the right direction. Now gather your pals and fuck off."

Putting his pants back on he helped his friends limp off.

"Any reason you chose to give him money?" Kuni asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I put a charm on a poisoned mushroom to look like money. He won't realize until about an hour. Dudes gonna have a wicked bad rash soon enough. Besides, I already swiped the coin the rest of the group had when they were down."

Morn laughed. "How would you like to join us on our quest to get the demonic club? We could use someone like you."

The goblin shrugged. "I just wanted it to sell it off. if I hang with you and fight more Golden Dickwads I could for sure make some more cash. I'll tag along until the money dries up."

"Awesome" the skull was able to speak through a small gap in his teeth "we have three flavors of bimbo here."

"Four" Morn said with a smirk, "you're the one who had a dick in his mouth."

Kozor was about to speak, but any smartass words died befor they could leave his mouth. "Fair."