Way of the Beast, part 1
It was a dark night in the village. By day, the cobblestone-lined streets would be packed with wolves and their pushcarts, selling their wares. And amidst the hustle and bustle, it would be easy to ignore the wolf with matted fur skulking about. That would be Rusan. It had been years since his parents made the difficult decision that they could no longer afford to keep another mouth fed and abandoned him to fend for himself. Not that he particularly felt any resentment toward them or even cared by this point in his life--that was a scar that had long since healed.
Still though, there were times when he found himself thinking about the scared puppy he once was, who cried himself to sleep in dark alleyways hoping that somebody--anybody--would take pity on him and care for him. But after years of being kicked, spat on, or worse, he eventually put that foolish notion to rest. It had been a long time since he ever yearned to be cared for by anybody. Out here on the streets, you could only rely on yourself and the unique skills you had to develop for your own survival.
And that skill unique to Rusan was his shameless opportunism. He was not the smartest or toughest of wolves, and he would be the first to tell you that, but he always had the ability to take any situation that presented itself, no matter how selfish or degrading, and turn it to his advantage. Which was how Rusan found himself sleeping in a barn for the past few nights, amidst bugs, livestock feces and who knows what else. It was quite a cozy arrangement too--sheltered from the weather and with nice thick piles of straw to sleep on or hide under if need be.
But he had made the mistake of letting the owners get wise to his presence. Maybe he had been careless; he could not say for sure. He shuddered as he remembered the events of earlier today, especially the angry words of one of the owners: "I swear, if I find the mongrel that's been living here, I'll slit him from head to tail!" At the time, Rusan had been concealing himself under a pile of straw, desperately hoping that the dry grass would not make him sneeze. All he could hear were the owner's heavy footsteps, the loudness of which made him think that he really could follow through on his threat if he were to catch him. By some miracle, his pursuer had not thought to dig through the straw pile. When he was absolutely sure--not mostly, absolutely--that the coast was clear, he made no hesitation in jumping out the nearest window.
"So long, idiot!" Rusan had muttered after his close call, less as a show of bravado and more as a release of pent-up fear. He never wanted to go through something like that again. After he had washed himself off in a local stream to eliminate his scent, he had thought to himself that surely there had to be something better than this.
So here he was, back on the streets. Rusan hated wandering the streets at night, as it always made him feel so exposed. Instead, he preferred the convoluted alleyways that crisscrossed between buildings. As soon as he found one that looked promising, he hopped off the main street and proceeded to navigate blindly through the maze of corridors.
_Hmm...that's odd,_Rusan thought to himself. After several minutes of random left and right turns, he had found himself face to face with a gigantic wall. Despite not knowing exactly where he was, he immediately had some idea. At the edge of the village was a massive monastery, completely walled off from the rest of the world. The only connection the monastery had to the village was a pair of massive gates, and apart from occasional deliverymen who only had the barest of permissions to step a few feet inside, nobody was ever seen going in or out. Yet that was not what was odd about the whole scenario. Despite the darkness of the alleyway, Rusan could make out that there was a rope dangling from the top of the wall.
Well this is too intriguing to pass up, Rusan thought to himself with a chuckle. He gave the rope a sharp yank and to his satisfaction found that it was anchored sturdily enough to support his weight. Bracing both feet against the wall, he managed to clumsily make his way up the rope before hoisting his body onto the edge of the wall. He looked out onto the vast expanse before him. Even though the night was almost pitch black, Rusan could tell that the monastery covered an enormous area. Furthermore, he felt assured that probably nobody else in the village had seen as much of the monastery as he had from this vantage point.
"Hey you! What are you doing up there?" Before Rusan had time to steady his balance on the top of the wall, a voice seemingly out of nowhere managed to take him by surprise. He flailed his body about in a desperate attempt to regain his composure but it was no use. Without an ounce of grace, he fell off the wall and onto his back, letting out a deep grunt upon impact. Fortunately, the way down was not long and he managed to hit a patch of grass and dirt. But his landing was awkward and an odd sensation shot through his body. He tried to roll over onto his feet, but like a bolt of lightning, a sharp pain coursed through his entire spine.
"Crap! Can't move!" Rusan muttered to himself as he abandoned his attempt to stand up and instead resigned himself to lying on his back. Yet that was not the end of his problems. From the shadows emerged two wolves who stood over his pathetically writhing body. It was too dark to see their faces but from their body language, Rusan could tell that they were none too happy to see him.
"Hey, um...what do we do with this intruder?" Rusan recognized the voice as the one who called out to him.
"Nobody can know what we're doing here! If word ever got out..." his companion answered. His voice conveyed a mix of both seriousness and frustration.
"But we can't just leave him here, can we? I mean, maybe we can take him with us!"
"No!" The serious wolf's voice broke over into a more desperate tone. "He knows nothing of our mission. We don't know whether he'll be sympathetic to us."
"Then what are we going to do?" A long pause ensued. "You don't think we should just..."
Rusan gulped. The wolf who seemed to be in charge knelt down beside him, his body language suggesting that he was more than willing to do whatever he deemed necessary. Rusan braced himself for the worst. Was this how it was going to end? Years of living on the street, only to be done in because he couldn't leave well enough alone? But before anyone had a chance to act, the three of them were interrupted by yet another voice.
"Is someone there? Show yourself!"
"Get out of here!" the wolf in charge snarled at his companion. "I'll cover your escape!" And with that, the other wolf scrambled over the wall and out of sight.
"Who are you?" The newcomer approached the two remaining wolves. His eyes immediately shot to Rusan's collapsed figure. "And what have you done with--" His voice was cut off with a tackle from the wolf who was left behind. Both of them sprung up to their feet and immediately squared off against each other.
Rusan rolled onto his side with a great amount of difficulty, hoping to get a better view of the scene unfolding. What happened next he would have scarcely believed, had he not been there to witness it firsthand. Both combatants suddenly burst forth in a flurry of punches and kicks, almost too fast to be seen with the naked eye. The fighters were graceful in their movements, yet still exhibited an almost frightful savagery. Rusan could only stare in slack-jawed amazement as the air was filled with the sight and sound of fists impacting fur, occasionally alternating with a brutal strike of claws against flesh. As the fight wore on, both wolves seemed to give in to their more animalistic urges and soon the grunts and yells both fighters were making yielded to more terrifying snarls and growls. Rusan could not help but wonder what was going through each combatant's head. What were they each trying to do? To subdue? To hurt? To kill? Rusan wanted to watch them for longer, both out of admiration for each of their movements and out of morbid fascination to see who would fall first, but he was becoming more aware of the worsening pain in his back, almost searing hot by this point. A strange lightheadedness gripped him as his body failed. He shifted into the most comfortable position he could manage...and passed out.
***
Rusan awoke groggily with a thick mental fog obscuring most of his thoughts. He had no idea where he was or how long he had been out for. The first thing he noticed was the bandages wrapped around his torso, beneath which was emanating an odd medicinal smell. He attempted to stretch his back and was met with a dull pain. Unpleasant, but far better than the stabbing pain he hoped to forget as soon as possible. He looked around the room he found himself in. The walls were pure white, but despite the sunlight shining through the numerous air vents near the ceiling, the interior still seemed utterly drab. Apart from the cot he was lying on, the only other furniture in the room consisted of a bed and a nightstand. Judging from the décor (or complete lack thereof), he guessed that he was inside the monastery, possibly in somebody's personal sleeping quarters. Certainly the space seemed equipped for a life of quiet contemplation...or possibly complete boredom.
A rattle at the door snapped Rusan out of his musings. A wolf walked in and Rusan could not help but notice that he had quite possibly the most impossibly sculpted body Rusan had ever seen. In his hands he was holding a tray with a shallow bowl.
"Oh!" The wolf jumped slightly, causing whatever was in the bowl to slosh around and onto the tray. "I didn't realize you were up!"
"I only just woke up a few minutes ago," Rusan replied, letting the wolf walk past him on the way to the nightstand. The wolf set down the tray and took hold of Rusan's hands. As gently as he could, he pulled Rusan's body up into a sitting position.
"Thanks," Rusan replied, wincing from the pain. "Have you been taking care of me all this time?"
The other wolf moved the nightstand over to Rusan before sitting on the bed opposite him. "Well I've just been feeding you for the past few days."
Rusan flinched slightly at the thought of someone forcing food down his gullet while he was unconscious. Still, it was probably better than starving, he supposed. He stared at the bowl of food, which appeared to be some kind of plain broth. A spoon was also resting on the tray, but Rusan, not being much for table manners, instead picked the bowl up and drank from it. He noticed that this elicited a bemused smile from his companion. As Rusan swallowed, he tried but failed to come up with a description for his meal other than merely "serviceable". It was incredibly bland but he could tell that it was quite nutritious and he wondered if this is what the residents of the monastery lived off of.
"So one of the guards said he found you over by the wall that borders the village. You can imagine, it caused quite a stir." The wolf's voice lowered, "If only we had caught whoever it was who did this to you..." His companion spoke on for several more minutes, but Rusan could only half-listen, mainly because it involved the state in which his body was found and the extent of his injuries, details that he had decided he was better off not knowing. Instead, he merely stared down into his bowl of broth. The reflection of the other wolf caught his eye. Perfectly lean muscle covered every inch of his body, seemingly the result of a lifetime spent toning his physique. His mind went back to that fateful night and the way the two wolves fought. He wondered if his companion could move like that and if so, who would come out ahead. With a noisy gulp, Rusan swallowed the rest of his meal. A long, awkward pause ensued, finally broken by the other wolf, "My name's Llifen, by the way."
"I'm Rusan," Rusan answered with a slight smirk. It took him this long to introduce himself? He could have opened with that! he thought to himself. Clearly here was someone who was not well-versed in the art of making conversation. Of course, he himself was no better. As far as he was concerned, most of the time the less Rusan interacted with others, the better. To do otherwise would only invite trouble.
"I take it you're an outsider?" Llifen fumbled slightly. "From the village, I mean."
"Mm-hmm," Rusan said with a nod.
Llifen rested his elbows on his knees in an eager, almost childlike pose. "What's it like out there?" Rusan shot back a look of confusion, prompting Llifen to clarify, "We don't get many outsiders here and I've never been outside the walls, so I've always wondered."
"Well..." Rusan started, not sure how to phrase his opinion. He was never one to romanticize his existence, so why start now? "It's a shithole. If someone's not battling you over some worthless scrap, they're trying to keep you away from what they think is rightfully theirs alone. Anybody who hasn't fought or cheated their way to the top is left to scrounge around, forced to make a meager existence on practically nothing."
"Oh, I...I see," Llifen said slowly. His ears drooped in the most pathetic way possible and his facial expression looked as if someone had just killed his beloved pet. "It sounds--"
"But hey," Rusan interrupted, hoping to salvage this conversation. "I'm not exactly what you would call 'typical'. I'm...well, I guess you could call me a street orphan. Most people out there probably have it better than I do."
"I'm sorry to hear that..." Llifen answered. Had Rusan made things better or worse? He couldn't tell. "You must have been quite something to have gone through all of that."
Rusan sighed deeply. "I wouldn't say that. I'm nobody, really." Another long pause followed. "So you've never actually been outside the monastery? Ever?"
"Not as far as I can remember. Zaulii--that's our leader here--has been training me in the Way of the Beast practically since I was born."
Rusan shot Llifen an inquisitive look. "What is the Way of the Beast?"
"It is a way of strengthening the body and the mind. Ultimately, we hope to become one with the Beast, a great power that lies untapped within each and every one of us," Llifen answered with a starry-eyed look and a tone that almost sounded like he was reciting a speech he had rehearsed several times before.
Oh boy...what have I gotten myself into? Rusan thought to himself. "And you actually believe this?" he said, hoping to convey the least judgmental tone possible, an effort that he felt was not entirely successful.
Fortunately, Llifen seemed oblivious to Rusan's skepticism. "Oh yes. You should talk to Zaulii if you want to know more. He's a very wise man."
"Well I guess it beats lying in this bed any longer." Again with the attitude! But again, Llifen didn't seem to notice. Rusan attempted to get up off the cot, but immediately his legs turned to jelly and he flopped back down. Without hesitation, Llifen approached his side, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and hoisted him to his feet. As Rusan leaned into Llifen's strong body, he muttered a soft "Thanks..." tinged with a slight amount of embarrassment.
The two of them walked out the door and past several closely-spaced rows of buildings, each as drab as the room they just left--pure white walls with simple shingled roofs. Every once in a while, they would pass another wolf, all of whom seemed to walk with a certain sense of conviction, like people on their way to work. Eventually, the route opened up onto a large central square, at the opposite end of which lay the most massive building Rusan had ever seen. Shocked by the sight, he let out a small whistle of amazement.
"This is our main temple," Llifen said with a sense of pride. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"It's certainly something," Rusan replied. Honestly, "beautiful" was not the word he would have used to describe it, since apart from its gargantuan size, there was nothing aesthetically to distinguish it from every other building they had passed. Nevertheless, he had to admit it was still quite impressive.
The two of them walked across the square and entered the temple, into a room that was nearly as vast as the exterior. Rusan could not help but notice that there were no pillars or beams to interrupt the large open space, just walls that reached straight up before sloping inwards to a central skylight. In the exact middle of the floor a solitary wolf sat in deep meditation. Despite the sheer size of the room, this wolf seemed to have a presence that somehow filled the entire space.
"Ahem...Master Zaulii?" Llifen interrupted Zaulii's meditation in a voice that was barely above the level of a whisper. Rusan could not tell whether this was out of temple custom or out of the deep respect Llifen clearly held for Zaulii, probably a mixture of both. In response, Zaulii stood up and stared intently at the two wolves. Judging by the amount of gray in Zaulii's fur, Rusan could tell he was incredibly old. Yet the tone of his musculature was just as developed as Llifen, perhaps even more so. Llifen continued, "This is Rusan. He was interested in learning about the Way of the Beast and we were hoping you could educate him on this matter."
Zaulii looked Rusan up and down with an intense stare that made Rusan wince. "Ah yes, the one who was found by the village wall." Rusan did his best to hide his feelings of discomfort. Was everybody he met going to constantly remind him of the one thing he would rather forget? Zaulii continued, "If you will, follow me please."
The three of them proceeded to walk into a side room where the only furniture appeared to be a few basic wooden chairs along with a desk made out of a shiny black wood. Feral wolves engaged in various hunting and prowling actions appeared to be carved into the sides of the desk and despite their artistic crudeness, they made it stand out amongst the plain décor Rusan had seen everywhere else in the monastery thus far. With a nod, Zaulii motioned for Rusan and Llifen to sit in front of the desk while he took his place behind.
"Tell me something, have you ever felt a presence within you, something that feels like it is fundamentally a part of you and yet not quite? Many describe it as a persistent feeling in the back of one's mind. However it manifests itself, it is always described in the same way: a sense of something basic, something...primal."
Rusan's honest reaction would have been to say, "No, I've never felt anything like that," but he felt it best to hold his tongue.
Instead, Zaulii continued, "This presence we know as the Beast. It is in fact a deep well of instinctual knowledge, a remnant of the days before society itself, when our ancestors used to hunt in packs. This monastery was built for the sole purpose of uncovering the secrets that lie just out of reach to us now, of learning what came naturally to our ancestors."
"But...why bother? I mean, what's the point?" Rusan asked, before giving an embarrassed look. "...I'm sorry for interrupting."
Zaulii smiled, "The fact that you're asking questions means you're engaged with what I have to say. That's good to hear. Well, I just described the Beast as a source of knowledge, but that is not all. More than that, it is a source of power, capable of changing the individual, perhaps even society itself."
"But what kind of power are you even talking about?" Rusan interrupted again, this time somewhat intrigued.
"Ah, that's the question, isn't it? The truth is, we have only scratched the surface of what connecting with the Beast can do. We already know that our ancestors possessed strength and agility at levels far beyond what any wolf today is capable of. We also believe that our ancestors were capable of some form of nonverbal communication that they used to coordinate their actions. You might be interested to know that your friend here is responsible for much of what we've learned over the past few years."
Rusan glanced over at Llifen, who was hiding his obvious pride behind a thin veneer of modesty. "Really? So you can do all of that?"
Llifen turned away shyly. "Not really. I'm a pretty good fighter, I suppose. And if I really concentrate, I can sense another wolf's presence. But that's about it."
"Don't sell yourself short," Zaulii said with a chuckle before turning back to Rusan. "Llifen's fighting skills are unmatched by anyone in this monastery. And it's all thanks to him that we have devised new ways of connecting with the Beast. You might even say that he is my star protégé, capable of so many great things, if only..." Zaulii's voice suddenly trailed off.
"Huh?" Rusan asked, suddenly curious. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a look of shame from Llifen.
"No, it's not my place to say," Zaulii said, his voice lowering. "Just know that Llifen has certain limitations that he must overcome, as do we all." After a short pause, his voice suddenly returned back to normal, "But just think about it: all of us working as our ancestors did, not to take down prey, but to solve society's greatest problems by working as a single, cohesive pack. Can you imagine?"
Rusan simply rubbed his forehead. It was a lot to take in, and he still wasn't sure if he believed a single word. "It all sounds very...interesting. I'll definitely think about it."
"That is all I ask of you. Your decision to join us is yours and yours alone." Zaulii stood up and showed Rusan and Llifen to the door. "But know this," he said, giving Rusan another soul-penetrating stare, "Despite its virtues, our life here is a difficult one. We require a certain level of honest dedication to our cause, and without it, you have no business here. Our room and board are not given freely."
Ugh, I hope this isn't the whole "nonverbal communication" he was talking about earlier, Rusan thought to himself, hoping Zaulii hadn't sensed his skepticism. "I understand," he replied before following Llifen out of the temple, his mind laden with a great deal more tension than he had only a moment ago.
***
"I do hope you'll join us. It's been a long time since I've been able to train someone else," Llifen said, his feet shuffling lazily alongside Rusan's. It was the first time today that they were able to walk at a slow, relaxed pace, with no particular destination in mind.
"You've had others train with you?" Rusan asked curiously.
"Oh yes, it's standard practice, really. Most of the time, though, they eventually get assigned to other parts of the monastery. Other times, they..." Llifen's pace slowed to a dull plod. "Well...they leave."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Rusan replied, not knowing exactly what to say. He suddenly noticed that Llifen had an odd expression on his face. Sadness mixed with some other emotion he could not place. Regret, maybe?
"Say, you wouldn't happen to have met anybody on the outside who's trained with us, have you?"
"Can't say that I have, no." Of course, it wasn't like Rusan was the kind of person to have chatted up someone enough to tell.
"Oh...well, I guess it couldn't hurt to ask. As for the others, I see some of my former students sometimes, but we never have the chance to talk. With how busy our training leaves us, this life doesn't particularly lend itself to close friendships."
Rusan looked at Llifen again. Here was someone whose loneliness was almost palpable and he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He moved alongside Llifen and gently leaned his body against Llifen's shoulder. Surprisingly, Llifen appeared receptive to this as he let out a soft sigh. "Look," Rusan said, "I swear that I won't let something like that happen to us." He suddenly let out a stammer, "I-if I join your monastery, that is."
"You haven't decided what you're going to do yet?"
"I don't know..." Rusan replied. Something about Zaulii's parting words and the way he had said them had rattled him quite badly.
"Hey, I know what might convince you!" Llifen suddenly blurted out, his mood shifting abruptly to childlike enthusiasm. He grabbed Rusan's arm and once again they were zipping through the alleyways between the monastery's buildings. Eventually they came to a rather large hill, which they then proceeded to clamber up. Rusan had to pace himself, huffing and puffing once he reached the summit, but Llifen merely bounded his way up with seemingly no effort. Of course he makes this look easy, Rusan thought to himself, I mean with that body of his he can probably do just about anything.
Rusan slumped down onto his butt and stared out at the scenery below him. He already knew the monastery was vast, but in the light of day, he could now see how vast it truly was. Like little barracks, tiny buildings which he assumed were living quarters dotted most of the landscape, which was punctuated by vast open squares that gave the whole monastery a checkerboard-like appearance. If he squinted at the squares, he could see that there were wolves physically training in all of them. Some were engaged in what looked like martial arts routines while others seemed to be sparring in specially designed rings. Off in one remote corner of the monastery, he could barely make out...were those livestock pens? Well that explains how a place this size can persist without always asking for supplies from the outside,_he thought to himself. _This really is a self-contained little city, isn't it? He let out a small chuckle as he wondered whether it would be more accurate to say that this was a monastery that bordered a village or whether the village in fact bordered the monastery.
Llifen sat down next to Rusan. "This is my favorite place in the whole monastery. I like to come here sometimes when I perform my meditations." He looked over at Rusan, whose mental state had shifted from admiration for the scenery to one of worried contemplation. "Is something on your mind?" he said, his voice carrying a sense of genuine and tender concern.
A lot of things were on Rusan's mind, actually, and they were all buzzing inside his head like a swarm of bees. Am I really going to do this? Do I even believe? Zaulii...does he know? Am I only taking advantage of them?
He sighed deeply as he looked toward the village wall. No...I can't go back out there. I won't. For the first time in a long while, he had an opportunity for a stable roof over his head and he was not willing to let that go so easily.
"I...I'll do it," Rusan finally said, almost without thinking. In the back of his mind, a voice was saying, No, that's not a good enough reason. This is wrong, but he did everything in his power to suppress it.
"You will? That's wonderful news! I'll make sure to tell Zaulii right away." Llifen began to stand up, an ear-to-ear grin spreading across his face. He had completely bought the ruse.
"Wait!" Rusan said, not willing to face Zaulii so soon. "Can we just stay here a while longer?"
Llifen said nothing in response, but instead sat down again, this time closer than before. He slowly moved his hand across the ground to overlap Rusan's own. As Rusan's fingers interlaced with Llifen's, a confused, tentative smile crept across his face.