redacted excerpt
This is a venting story. It's an adult idea but in no way is it porn. Posting this mostly to get rid of some emotions.
(redacted excerpt from courtroom testimony given by defendant #2)
by Tagenar
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7136003.Tagenar
I have no Patreon. I have no onlyfans. I have no online store. I cannot be prolific enough to justify a subscription. If you like what I do, please buy my books. It's cheaper than a subscription in the long run.
The Substance didn't work on me. It's supposed to make you horny and intensify everything. It did for everyone else at the party. Two puffs and all I got was a headache and nausea. All I could do was lean over the kitchen sink watching my best friend get fucked. Four people were fucking in the kitchen. One puff and they just had to drop their pants. I didn't even get hard.
All I wanted to do was go home, but nobody could have driven me. I grabbed a pot and tried to find an unoccupied corner to lie down and close my eyes. The couches in the living room were taken. A few lizards were fucking two other lizard's girlfriends in front of their boys. They wanted to see how it felt to watch their girls get fucked. Then the lizards fucked the boys in front of their girlfriends. They were really getting into the role-playing part. Or maybe they weren't role-playing. I don't know. The corner by the TV was taken, too. Two tigers feeling each other up. I remember thinking that's what I wanted to do. Find someone who would let me admire his body. I wanted to watch but I went upstairs.
All the beds were in use. The whole house reeked of sex. I'd been looking forward to this party for weeks. If only I hadn't tried the Sub. I remember seeing [defendant #1] in the master bedroom. [He] was fucking [plaintiff #2]. Fucking him so hard [plaintiff #2] was screaming at him to stop. [Defendant #1] pulled out, but he was messed up.
I couldn't even stay standing. I knew what was happening. People told me the Substance has two extremes. I was on one end. [Defendant #1] was on the other. Hurting someone felt good to him. He started hurting others. Not sexually. He never raped anyone, but he did start clawing people while they were tied or still pounding. I followed him around the house while he did that stuff. In my head I was yelling at him to stop, warning the others about him, but I don't think I said anything. I just carried my pot. I don't know why he didn't react to me. I was the only other fox in the house. We'd talked about it earlier. Joked we should hook up.
[Defendant #1] was like watching a mirror. That could have been me. I could have had that reaction to Sub. I wished I'd had that reaction. What [defendant #1] was doing looked incredible. That's what I was thinking. I was so miserable. I was tired of always feeling miserable. I was jealous.
Sub is bad stuff if you're me, but if you're [defendant #1] it's amazing. I wanted to be amazing, but nothing I do ever is. I try sex and it feels bad. I try other drugs and they give me bad reactions. I try sports and I'm bored. I go to bars and get drunk but it always... Everything I do... Just nothing. I end up depressed.
That's what I was thinking while I watched [defendant #1] chew [plaintiff #1]'s arm off and eat it. I should have done something, but [defendant #1] was rock hard the whole time, and he jizzed while he ate it, so I thought wow it must feel amazing and I wished I felt that way, so I kept watching myself in the mirror. Imagining what that must be like for something to feel good. It's all I wanted. That's why I didn't stop him. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.