FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The highway only goes one place, it turns out.

It dead ends at a low building with a gravel parking lot. There's a cloud of moths around a light over the door, but that's the only sign of life. The windows are painted over. There's a truck and a van in the parking lot with my car, but they're both so old and rusted that they look like they might have been here longer than the building has.

I can hear music coming from inside, though. Is this a bar?

The sign on the door says "And he fell down and prayed, saying: if it be thy will, let this cup pass me by, and let me drink of it not."

The sign under that says "NO ADMITTANCE UNDER 21 ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS ID REQUIRED"

I guess this must be where I was going.

I push open the door.

Nobody checks my ID.

Inside certainly looks like a bar. Seedy, dirty, and almost empty.

There's a door in the far wall, with a heavy red curtain. I can barely see a strobe light going inside, and a faint haze of smoke. It looks like if a high school play tried to make something look like the gates of hell.

There's a stranger at a table in the corner, a heavy-set otter, and he's clearly putting everything he's got into the fuck-off-and-leave-me-alone aura. I do just that. Probably don't look any more approachable myself.

I wander past a jukebox to the bar. I claim a stool. The one fancy thing in the place is a huge mirror, old fashioned, ornate frame. It's way too nice for my reflection.

I really look like shit. Fur matted. Bags under my eyes. Almost certainly didn't shower before I fell asleep. I don't think I've brushed my teeth in a week. I know Mama and Pops have noticed, but they haven't said anything. Hell, by now a couple customers have noticed.

But that's what not taking care of yourself will do to you. What not having any reason to take care of yourself will do to you.

What not having anyone to care for will do to you.

Ok, mirror, that's enough of you for tonight! Not going down that hole. And I'm not doing so bad am I? Usually when I get drunk I do it at home alone where nobody can see. So going out to a bar is a step up, yeah?

If a bartender ever shows up.

???: Hey handsome. What do you want?

I recognize the voice before I see who it is. My heart speeds up. My breath stops. That sounds like...?

I look up at who's just stepped behind the bar.

It is.

Leo: Oh, Chula.

Chase: Hey Leo. Been a while.

Chase: You look rough.

He's right, and I don't give a shit. He's here, and talking to me, and glad to see me, and he's not gone forever.

I don't care what else this dream is, if I get to be with him, this is heaven.

Leo: I'm ok if you're here.

Chase: So, what do you want to drink?

Leo: You.

Oh wow I didn't even think about that before I said it I just said it.

Chase: Ok, I see what's wrong with you. Clearly you're corny as hell.

He smiled. Thank god he liked it.

Chase: You're lucky I have a thing for corny wolf jocks.

Shit he's actually flirting, this is the best dream I've had since the night we-

No!

No.

Don't think about it.

Hang on to the dream.

Hang on to every scrap of him you have left.

Chase: Leo? You with me? You ok?

He looks worried.

Leo: Huh? Yeah, yeah I'm here. I'm fine.

Chase: Looked like you blacked out for a minute there. That's supposed to be my thing. You sure you're ok?

Leo: I'm ok as long as you're here.

Chase: Back to corny? I guess that's a good sign.

He reaches under the bar and comes back with an empty glass.

Chase: So seriously, what'll it be?

Leo: Why are you a bartender?

Chase: I dunno Leo. It's your dream, you tell me.

Leo: I mean, I'm not objecting. You seem pretty focused on the job, though.

Chase: Eh, it's a job, you do it. There's worse ones. Turns out I'm pretty good at it.

Chase: Plus I get to hit on cute wolves.

He really is flirting.

Not gonna object to that, either.

I should keep my head about me. As little sense as this dream makes, he's here and he's happy to see me, so I have to remember as much of this as I can. Need a clear head.

[HOW ABOUT YOU START ME WITH SOMETHING LIGHT AND SWEET?]