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This story was written for an anonymouse buyer. It contains M/Solo masturbation and M/M and M/F acts between consenting adults. :3

Addicted

Isaac had a problem. A dependency. An addiction. He knew it was there. He was aware that it was definitely not normal, and that it definitely affected his every day life. But... did the dragon try to seek help? Did he look for solutions, either medical or psychological? No. Because, much as Isaac frequently found himself embarrassed and appalled by his lack of self control; overwhelmed and helpless to resist the cravings boiling up from deep within his crimson scaled body, there was a part of him that loved what his addiction drove him to do. A part of the dragon which relished what he knew was coming every time he felt those first twinges that would soon grow and swell into something far more powerful and all consuming. That part of him loved to surrender control, and hand the reigns to his most primal, wild self.

Of course, as with any addiction, his relationships suffered because of it. Isaac hadn't had a long term partner for quite some time, and had almost stopped looking for them after his last few attempts. When people first showed interest in him, his most notable attributes were attractive. They drew in men and women alike, enthralled and eager, but only to a point. Once they were together, alone, those formerly eager individuals would realise just what they'd gotten themselves into. They'd see Isaac in all his glory, and feel the urgency, and the frequency of his body's demands. They wouldn't be able to keep up. They would be intimidated. Scared. Even mocking at the very idea that they might be able to work with a man in a situation like him to make something happen. And then they would leave.

Thus, despite having more than enough offers made by yet more relatively innocent men and women with eyes bigger than their muzzles, Isaac's life was mostly a solitary one. He had friends, but romantic partners were few and far between. And thus, the ten, twelve or however many times a day Isaac found himself stricken by a surge of his addiction's need, he was forced to tend to it alone. To spoil whatever plans he had. To risk embarrassment and shame as his body betrayed the nature of his dependency, and seek out a quiet, private spot where he could jerk off the mammoth cock which genetics had granted him and temporarily relieve his body's complete and devastating addiction to sex, to pleasure, and to itself.

He tried to hide his needs, practically anyone would when they were his particular type of deeply intimate urges, but his biology made it deeply difficult to do so. Even when soft his cock did not hide within his scales like many dragons. It hung soft, but thick and still the best part of a foot long, within his underwear. A pale, almost creamy white foreskin the same shade as the scales of his inner thighs and the scaled bands that ran down the front of his torso covered the pink shaft while flaccid, but when erect it pulled back to reveal a swollen, deeper pink throbbing head. His balls were equally as large and unlike those internal testes possessed by many dragons, always rounded and physically swollen with the sheer volume of cum that lay within them. Isaac dared not sit down on most public transport, or any seat where his legs and crotch might be visible, lest any passers by notice the obvious bulge he would possess even on the rare occasions when he was wholly un-aroused. A bulge caused by both cock and balls of such size and girth that he was forced to sit with legs spread to avoid squeezing himself; not even to a degree which might risk pain, but simply to keep himself from providing his body what little stimulation it might need to begin demanding yet another session of woefully temporarily relief.

Inevitably though, no matter how much he tried to hide his addiction from all who might judge or even misguidedly lust after him for what it promised, his body's cravings for sex would, and did control a substantial portion of what the dragon did each day. It ruled his interactions with those around him, friends, family, colleagues, even strangers. At the slightest provocation it would send him barrelling out of a room with hushed, almost whimpering apologies, and had long since forced the dragon to become intimately acquainted with the location of each and every public restroom in a given area before even considering visiting it for any sort of social reason.

It was eleven AM, and already Isaac had cum five times that day. Four times because his body demanded it, and once just before leaving the house in a likely futile attempt to keep himself sated until he returned home again. The dragon walked slowly as he wandered through the crowded mall, every step deliberate to avoid brushing against any other person not looking where they were going, and moving at a measured pace to keep his heart rate as low as possible and thus slow the flow of blood to any particularly sensitive regions. The shirt he wore was several sizes too large, not an easy feat to find such a thing when his athletic six foot five inch frame already took an XXL to accommodate its broad shoulders and powerful pectorals, and even given its size barely managed to hang down low enough when un-tucked at the waist to cover the inevitably bulging front of his custom made jeans. He wasn't aroused, not yet. This was just how his body looked when at rest; how he had to dress in order to minimise the frankly obvious impact of his vast manhood. And that made it all the more frustrating and humiliating to have to be here now, today.

Normally Isaac would visit the mall or the store for groceries first thing in the morning or last thing at night on a day in the midweek, purposefully timing his visits when everything was at its most quiet. But today was a Saturday, and yet he was here nonetheless. Here because to say no to his friends' invitation would make them feel like there was a reason why he didn't want to visit the mall when it was busy. Here because saying no would be like admitting to his friends that there was a problem; as good as telling them not to invite him to events or hang-outs anywhere remotely public, because he didn't trust himself to keep his junk in check.

The food court, where they were meeting, was on the far side of the mall. Because of course it was. It would take more than five minutes for the dragon to get there at his current pace, and Isaac's mind was already racing through wholly imagined and unscientific permutations of what that meant for him. He would have to pass (x) hundred people in order to get there. A proportion of (y) thousand eyes would inevitably fall upon his only partially and poorly concealed crotch, and of those there was a probability rapidly approaching 1 that at least one of those eyes' owners would make a comment to a friend that he would overhear, or worse, talk to him directly. Then it came down to a matter of what they would say. Would they hit on him? Ask him if it was real? Accuse him of being some pervert by assuming that for such a bulge to be present he had to be erect and aroused? Or would they go all the way, as had happened to Isaac twice in the past while out at bars, and simply reach out to curiously explore his naturally and constantly bulging jeans with an unwanted, non-consenting touch without so much as a word of introduction?

Isaac growled, and raised his head from where he was staring at the floor to ensure he remained on a path that wouldn't intersect with anyone else. He had to keep himself calm. Had to stay relaxed and keep his mind occupied with thoughts other than those of his own body. It craved his attention, positive or otherwise. And too long spent thinking about it would lead that body to start craving that attention in more focused and particularly sensitive areas. Too much focus, and he would start to want to become aroused, even if there had been no reason for him to do so. His desire to keep his addiction hidden would be overwhelmed by his more physical, lustful desires. He couldn't let that happen, not when he had friends waiting for him. Not when he was in a place with so many other people, and with bathrooms that would be crowded and full almost constantly. He couldn't. He wouldn't. No matter how much he wanted to.

No sooner had he lifted his gaze from the ground and started to scan the crowd before him though, Isaac regretted it. He regretted it the very second his eyes fell upon her, and within his loins the dragon's libido let slip a silent yet potent roar that reverberated throughout his body. Why was she the first person his eyes settled upon? Out of the whole crowd, out of everyone present here in this mall, why had his gaze locked upon this woman standing by one of the escalators to the upper floor. An almost stereotypically plump bovine female with long, brown curls over a coat of black and white patched fur. She wore large hoop earrings, had a sizeable handbag resting between her legs, and above the blue skirt that fell to just below her knees her chest was trapped... and it really did seem like it had been forcibly stuffed into it, within a blouse that looked like the buttons were ready to burst off at any minute. Her breasts were huge. There was no getting around it. No avoiding the obvious fact or making it seem like he was somehow admiring her overall beauty. She was pretty as hell, no denying it. But... those breasts. Those goddamn breasts.

He fell utterly still, people mumbling and grunting in frustration as they were forced to circle around the large and suddenly stationary figure of the dragon, and watched as the gorgeous cow fumbled with her bra through the fabric of her blouse. One of the straps seemed to have fallen loose over her shoulder, and she was attempting to get it back where it should have been. The only problem was that in doing so she had to twist her arms at the perfect angle to render the already tight fabric of her top even tighter, and force the material of the bra containing those massive mammaries to press into the blouse containing it with such force that Isaac swore at any second they were going to burst free.

The dragon shuddered where he stood, his eyes wide open but not seeing reality any longer; instead observing what he wanted, what he needed to happen. The woman's buttons launching off in all directions, sending all the mall's occupants diving for cover. Leaving only two figures standing. Her, and him. Their eyes would meet across the mall. Both red faced, trembling in embarrassment as the woman's breasts heaved and the dragon's cock began to swell rapidly within his already bulging jeans. She would let loose a bellowing moan of pleading desire as the loose shoulder strap of her bra remained that way, and casually she flicked the other strap aside too. Her breasts would fall free and loose from their bindings, and she would grasp them in her trembling hands, fumbling and teasing her swollen nipples as Isaac rushed towards her.

With a roar that would shake the mall to its very foundations, Isaac would watch the beautiful bovine woman fall to her knees before him, and soon his vast cock would be free. Throbbing and slapping up against his stomach, rising rapidly to its full and untamed glory, tempting him to open up his muzzle and engulf the already straining, drooling tip. Instead though he would step closer to her, grasping at the base of his erection and guiding it between her bountiful breasts. The warm, plump flesh would surround him, and as she would start to rock and squeeze her chest around his length, her own muzzle would open and let slip a series of long, lowing moans as she kissed his tip and tasted the abundant floods of pre-cum that would soak her face more than the full on loads of any man.

All of that fantasy crossed the dragon's mind in the space of five or ten seconds, and it was only when within that fantasy he found himself roaring and spraying hot gouts of cum so high those on the floor above could see them arcing up and then flooding down again like a fountain, raining over the trembling tits of the cow with her face upturned and her mouth wide and hungrily open, he was drawn sharply back to reality by a sharp prodding touch between his quivering but still retracted wings.

"Hey, dumbass! I don't care if you're checking your phone or having a fucking seizure. Just do it somewhere people aren't trying to walk, yeah?!"

Isaac's eyes bulged, and his head glanced downward though he already knew exactly what he was going to find there. The front of his jeans were no longer just generally swollen by the simple resting size of his intimate regions, they were properly strained and stretched. As soon as he became aware of it, the lust hit him like a freight train. It surged through his helpless body like the electrical current of a bolt of lightning, and it took everything Isaac possessed in terms of restraint and willpower just to keep from roaring in lust right then and there. He lurched away from whoever had tried to make him move without a word or even a glance in their direction, head spinning as his pounding heart fed yet more blood to the swelling, aching expanse of his erection and he felt his balls pumping thick bursts of pre-cum from deep within and staining the interior of his underwear, ever increasing the likelihood of that liquid soaking through and causing a wet spot on the exterior of his stretched, swollen denim.

"Fuck. F-fuck..."

The dragon groaned in simultaneous misery and rapture all at once as he raced towards the nearest set of restrooms, horrified to be caught up in such a publicly humiliating situation and yet enthralled by the knowledge of what he was going to have to do in order to rescue himself and restore order to his world. He was going to have to jerk off. He was going to have to make himself cum. And for all the embarrassment and anguish of knowing that he had once again succumbed to the part of himself he did everything he could to hide from the world around him, the knowledge that those thoughts had placed himself in a situation where he would soon be able to masturbate turned that shame into its very own source of wild and gleeful excitement.

As Isaac entered the restroom and barrelled towards the nearest available cubicle, the sex craving portion of his mind was well on the way to consuming every last trace of whatever in the dragon's brain made him want to avoid or hide from these intense and impossibly overwhelming feelings. He slipped inside, slamming the door shut behind him and flinging down the seat of the toilet with his sweeping tail as trembling fingers slid the lock closed. Scaled digits then moved to the belt binding his jeans to his waist, fumbling its buckle loose before turning to the buttons which held the denim fabric itself closed at the front. They too were straining every bit as violently, indeed likely far more so compared to those of the bovine woman he had gotten himself into this situation thinking about. Were they not specially designed and re-enforced with him in mind the metal stud buttons would surely have ripped off or torn clean through the fabric holding them in place long ago. Needless to say it was a struggle to tug each one free, and when finally the fabric of his trousers did fall loose Isaac couldn't hold back a deep, rumbling growl of relief that echoed around the restroom and caused the several men lined up at the urinals to glance around in surprise and confused embarrassment of their very own.

"Fuuuuuhh... fuck.."

Once more Isaac grunted in delight, eyes rolling back in his head as he dropped his trousers and underwear to his ankles and sank gently back onto the plastic seat of the toilet behind him. He wrapped not one but both hands around his cock, sliding them from base to tip, and shuddered as a thick spurt of pre-cum came boiling up from within, oozing out in rich, translucent strands all over his trembling fingers. This was why his addiction had never been treated. Why as much difficulty and embarrassment as it caused him he had never tried to solve it. To fix himself at times when he felt like he was broken. Because just one touch... one stroke, it made it all worth it. All the shame. All the fear of being noticed, and judged for what he couldn't control. It was all worth it for how goddamn fucking good it felt to sit back and rub his rigid erection. He squeezed the girth of his cock, and his head rolled back upon his shoulders. The dragon's tongue lolled out of his gaping muzzle as a wave of sensation surged up the length of his spine before cascading out through his body. Toes curled against the bathroom's rough tiled floor, and fingers flexed around the throbbing, pulsing length which they were squeezing in almost perfect rhythm with each lustful twitch.

The dragon's moaning grew rapidly louder as he began to stroke his cock, its fully erect length standing at a mammoth size close to two feet in length and with a girth that left the male barely able to connect his hands wrapped around it. He couldn't hold back his growls and moans of pleasure, no more now than he had ever been able to while masturbating. It felt too good to care about what anyone else might hear or think. It felt too good to care about anything but the next stroke. The next squeeze. The next hot, potent spurt of pre-cum.

Needless to say the restroom cleared out fairly quickly, and any approaching individuals beyond that point swiftly turned and decided to head for a different place to relieve themselves. Isaac knew there was a chance that someone might call in mall security, but so often before he had been forced to rely on the shame and embarrassment of others being just as intense as his own most of the time, and sure enough not once had he been interrupted or faced with someone attempting to chide or put an end to his masturbatory efforts. Thus he almost felt validated in making his cries as loud and wild as possible, giving anyone regardless of how desperately they might have needed to use the restroom a good reason to turn around and look elsewhere. Not that he needed a reason to cry out at the top of his lungs of course; the pleasure surging up through the length of his cock as he stroked and squeezed it provided that in rapturous abundance.

And yet, after a few minutes and just as Isaac was really getting into his rhythm, the crimson scaled dragon heard the sharp tapping of clawed feet upon the bathroom's tiled floor. With his own body tilted back, rear end resting on the foremost edge of the toilet seat and his legs braced against the sides of the locked cubicle door with trousers and underwear still tangled round his ankles, Isaac gave a roaring cry of ecstasy in an attempt to see off this intruder into what right now was his personal space. Instead of hearing those footsteps rapidly reversing course though another deep, rumbling growl of hunger answered his cry, followed by an almost pleading groan as the door of the cubicle directly beside Isaac's own creaked open.

"O-oh god. Please... I'm sorry. I... I'm not..."

The urgency, the fear and lust all rolled into one, it sounded so familiar to the crimson dragon even though the speaker's voice did not sound like anyone he knew. Isaac growled in frustration at the continued intrusion, but didn't stop stroking his cock, nor from revelling in the way that from his current angle practically each and every shot of pre-cum he unleashed sprayed out across the gasping, huffing lips of his snout. His eyes did widen however when he heard the familiar jingling of a belt being unbuckled, and the gasp of frantic, immediate relief as he heard clothing being pulled open and dragged down trembling legs. He glanced to the right, towards the few inches of floor-level gap between the two cubicles, and his eyes widened as he saw the flicking tip of a silvery grey scaled tail, adorned with several small black spines, sweep briefly in and out of view. Then he heard it. The overwhelmed, giddy moan as hands met tender flesh, and that first sweet cry of pleasure as the man in the stall beside his began to jerk at his own recently freed erection.

For a short while neither one of the males said a word as they simply tried to come to terms with what they were hearing from the dragon in the adjoining cubicle. The increasing slick sounds of pre-cum stained hands sliding up and down gloriously sensitive and rock hard flesh. The deep, guttural moans and cries of the other person ringing out in tandem with their own, at first unintentionally and then purposefully seeking to outmatch and compete with the roars of the other dragon. They each sought to prove that their pleasure was the greatest. The most potent and pure and perfect. But for the first time in as long as Isaac could think of, and perhaps similarly for the newcomer, he wasn't sure if that truly was the case. To both men, the occupant of the other cubicle sounded so very much like themselves in terms of the sheer savagery of their need and the rampant glee of their ecstasy. It was this fact which finally drove Isaac to communicate, and to call out to the man separated from him by less than an inch of cubicle wall as they each jerked off as hurriedly and eagerly as their aching but well practised arms would allow.

"I-it... it feels so fucking good."

The silver dragon almost sobbed in his response, joyous at hearing such an honest and shameless cry from Isaac, as though he had never heard someone say those words with the same conviction that he knew to be true.

"Oh god. I... I know. I'm so, so sorry for interrupting, but... I couldn't help it. I can't. I need this. Need to... aaaaahhhhyes..."

Isaac snarled in delight of his own, nodding even though the other male could not see him despite their close proximity.

"I understand. I... I really do. Oh fuck. Fuck! When I... when I'm jerking off it's like my body is burning. But every last lick of the fire you're engulfed in... it doesn't hurt. It just feels so... so... oohh god..."

Both males' hands flew over their straining cocks as they spoke to one another, eyes wide and chests heaving as they fought to draw in breath enough both to howl and cry out as their needs demanded, but also to communicate with one another. The plastic toilet seats beneath them creaked as their hips thrust upward hungrily against their hard working hands, and as their wings flicked and their tails thrashed, they felt the tips of their writhing fifth limbs brushing across one another between the cubicles and against the bathroom's tiled flooring.

"H-hey... how... ohhh yes, how big are... are you?"

The silver dragon asked the question out of nowhere, and yet before Isaac's greedy, pleasure hungry mind could even begin to consider boasting the sheer size of his cock, he found his eyes bulging as the other male beat him to it.

"You sound like you're big too. But... I... I'm almost two feet long. God, I wish you knew how good it felt to suck your own cock. There are days when I don't even want to get out of bed. I just want to lie there, fucking my own muzzle, drinking my fill of myself. Cumming again and again. Feeling like my body is melting from the inside every time I start to shoot, and knowing that if I want it... if I keep thinking about it, I'll be ready to go again after just minutes. I get so shy. So fucking stupid and embarrassed about it when I'm not doing it. I tell myself I can hold back. I tell myself I can wait and be responsible like everyone else. But the truth is... I don't fucking want to wait. I don't want to have to hold back, and act like it's okay if the guys I'm with can't keep up. I love this. I fucking love it. A-and... fuck, the only person I can tell is some other random dragon jerking off in a mall restroom, who probably can't understand anything about what I mean beyond h-how good it feels to cum. And even then, can't possibly know how it feels in the way I know how it feels."

His growls turned to gurgles; the wonderfully familiar sound of a man who was moaning through a muzzleful of his own erection. It was only then, as the silver dragon fell silent in his self-suckling frenzy, that Isaac had his chance to talk. There was so much he could have said. So much he could have revealed to prove to this other man that he understood. That he wasn't alone. That neither of them were alone in feeling the way they felt; a revelation that had left the crimson dragon trembling in joyous wonder. But in the end it all boiled down to one question. One factor which would prove to the silver dragon whether or not Isaac's needs were remotely akin to his own.

"I do know. I... I know. Just like you know that I'm telling the truth when I say that because of this? What we're doing... what you're telling me... it's all I'm gonna think about for the rest of the day. All I'm going to be able to focus on. When I'm done here, it's gonna be a race back to my car before I'm hard again. Once I've jerked off right there in the parking lot, I'll drive home... I might even have to pull over in some empty lot and get off a third time. And then, when I'm there... all I'll be able to do for the rest of the day is lie on my own bed, cock between my lips, hands squeezing my balls, and the biggest, fattest vibrator stuffed in my ass, and tell myself that I won't stop sucking until I pass out from the pleasure."

With a gurgling wail the other dragon obviously pulled his muzzle off his cock, his voice strained and layered with the tone of someone whose throat was lined with viscous streaks of pre-cum as he called out in return.

"I wish I could be there. T-to suck your cock. To fuck your ass. And... o-oh god, to make sure that when we wake up tomorrow morning, we don't stop. We don't get up and look in our bedroom mirrors like we're so ashamed of what we did. What we're doing. I wish I didn't have to keep lying. To keep a-acting like... like this isn't the best fucking way to be spending every spare minute of my time, and like I wouldn't give up everything else in my life just to keep feeling this way. Rather than the opposite I try to convince myself whenever I'm not jerking off... like I would give anything to never have the urge to touch my cock ever again."

Isaac gave a snort of laughter, followed by a deep, sincere growl of understanding.

"If I didn't feel like the whole rest of the world wanted me to feel like I'm wrong... like e-everything I'm feeling right now is wrong? If I didn't try so hard to convince myself of that whenever I don't have my guard down and whenever I'm not feeling like this? Being this obsessed, this addicted to my own cock... it would be so much more fun. It would always be so much fun."

The other dragon wailed with a wild, frantic joy.

"Yes! Yes! Exactly. Oh god... y-you know. You really know!"

Then, Isaac heard something new. He heard clawed toes clicking against the ground once more. Trousers bunched up around ankles shuffling, and the sound of a cubicle bolt being slid back. He heard a desperate, fearful and yet lustful roar, and then just a few seconds and a couple of hasty footsteps later, clawed fingers scrabbling at the door of his own cubicle.

"Please. Please, I... I need to see you. To be with you. You understand. We... we're the same, and... oh god, I need to cum so badly. I want you to be there. To see it. I... I want you to cum with me."

His plea was so frenzied and his obvious situation so immediate; standing outside, essentially wholly in public with his underwear around his ankles and what was presumably an equally vast cock on show, that Isaac couldn't have denied him even if he hadn't been certain of the other dragon's honesty. He didn't even lean forward and try to unlock the door with his hands, simply bringing one of the clawed feet already pressed up against the door to bear upon the lock and hooking his largest toe around it, tugging the bolt loose. Immediately the door sprang open, and the silver dragon half surged, half shuffled into the enclosed space, able to close but not to turn and lock the cubicle door thanks to the now two six foot plus winged males resting in the rather cramped confines within.

They stared at one another. At the other dragon's panting, wide eyed face. At their trembling bodies, faces and the clothes resting upon their torsos streaked and stained with their own pre-cum. And of course they stared at each other's cocks. Two colossal spires of rigid, rampant flesh, almost perfectly matched in size with again equally huge and swollen scaled balls resting beneath. Two bodies who had known the same tribulations. Two bodies designed for sex in abundance beyond the capacity of any other man or woman they had ever known, and within those bodies two hearts broken countless times by rejection of who they were, and two minds who were torn between embracing and repressing their deepest urges despite both knowing full well which direction they both would have gone if given even the slightest excuse to make such a choice.

An excuse... or rather, a genuine reason, like perhaps one day finding one person; a single other individual, who understood them and their needs. Who could match them orgasm for orgasm. Wave for crippling, mind-bending wave of pleasure.

The silver dragon stumbled forward a single step, as far as he could before he felt Isaac's legs wrapping around his torso and dragging him into an inescapable embrace. Their huge cocks and vast, swollen balls pressed together, and without a single word spoken since they had met face to face, the two men pressed their lips together in a deep, passionate kiss. Their toes curled. Their wings flared violently behind each of them, and as they ground and rubbed against one another and their tongues warred between loudly smooching lips and desperate, muffled moans, there was no doubt or regret in either male's eyes about what was about to happen.

Humping and grinding against each other in the midst of that public restroom, in the centre of a crowded mall with no changes of clothes nor possible escape route planned out, the two dragons began to cum. Their frotting cocks strained, throbbed, and began to unleash powerful surges of hot, gushing cum as their muzzles parted in a frenzy of frantic roars. They lashed one another's clothed and trembling bodies, the undersides of their chins and across the length of their wide eyed, panting, grinning faces. They soaked the other male with the abundant fury of their orgasmic release, rubbing, bucking and pressing their needy bodies together with shameless glee. And as thick puddles of their cum began to pool around their feet on the cubicle's tiled floor, spreading out wider as the flood only seemed to increase the pace of its spread, they stared into the eyes of a man whose name they didn't even know with complete and total devotion.

They understood. That other dragon, trembling, holding them so tightly and cumming so very, very hard alongside them.

They understood their situation. Their addiction.

At last, they didn't have to pretend any more. At last they didn't have to act like it wasn't a problem any more. This wasn't going to be just one brief flicker of hope. A single rendezvous never to be repeated. This was only the beginning. Of a day. A week. A month. A lifetime of knowing. Of understanding. Of helping one another push their bodies to limits they had never been able to share with anyone before. To be fucked, and have their prostate hammered and sprayed with cum while they suckled hungrily upon themselves. To lie side by side, face to face, gorging on one another's abundant seed while cuddling tenderly. To arrive home to find the other dragon jerking off for the twentieth time that day, and not judge, not shy away, but grin as they stripped off their clothes and began to race to catch up a little in their count.

Finally they could not only admit that they were hopelessly addicted to this insatiable orgasmic pleasure of which their bodies were so abundantly capable, but actively revel in it.

By Jeeves

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