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My name is Tobias. By now you all know my last name. Yes, I'm that Tobias, the "Animorph."

Jake had us all record our thoughts in journals. Now that the war is won, and Earth is free from Yeerk control, we released all the journals written over the years. You can find them online.

But there are more, many more, that we didn't release. I'm here to fix the record. These lost journal entries should be available for everyone. I'm not going to let us rewrite history just to suit our feelings.

This entry is one of the earliest by Jake. It takes place shortly after I told him it was all real. He really seemed unwilling to believe it, but I knew he would see reason. He always was the most responsible one.

Chapter 9.5

I couldn't believe it. It was all really real. Tobias had proved that much, but nothing compared to doing it yourself. Just like Tobias when he was Dude, I had a hard time controlling my instincts. I had morphed into Homer, our golden retriever.

Even when I finally got control of him, when my brother Tom had come into the room and scolded me, it hurt. I felt miserable. I knew right then that I would never scold Homer like that again.

Thankfully, Tobias was there. He crouched next to me where I was huddled in the corner, and patted my head. He scratched my ears. I felt a lot better.

"Listen, Jake," Tobias whispered. "It'll be okay. We need to all meet together and discuss this. Marco, Rachel, Cassie, everyone. Okay?"

I looked up at him. He was right. <We can meet...let's see. Someplace safe, secluded. How about Cassie's farm? I'll call everyone.>

Tobias said, "Alright, but don't morph until I'm gone. I really don't need to watch that again."

Morphing was not a pretty picture. I nodded, which looked silly coming from a dog. <I'll call you with the time, Tobias. And don't tell anyone. If the, uh, Andalite is right, anyone could be a human controller.>

Tobias gave me a sideways glance. "Who would I tell?" He left the room. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. There were all sorts of people I wished I could talk to about this. Tobias was all alone.

It was time to morph back, before someone noticed that there were two Homers running around. I stood and jumped on the bed. It took a moment to convince myself to do it, because Homer wasn't allowed on the bed. But I was Jake. It was my bed.

Once on the bed, I lay down to prepare for the change. Laying down isn't a simple thing for a dog. I couldn't lie down until I was comfortable. That meant walking in a short circle. I turned around three times before I could finally do it, curling up into a ball.

I was so flexible! As a boy I could just barely touch my toes. As dog, it was almost like I didn't have a spine at all. I was coiled up on my side, so that from above, I would have looked like a circle. And it wasn't uncomfortable at all.

I breathed warm air that smelled interesting. It smelled like me. That was when I realized my face was just inches from the base of my tail. I knew what I was smelling. Gross!

I pulled my head back, lifting my hind leg reflexively. I could see the light orange fur that covered my stomach, and then further down, I could see...

I'd like to say I stopped then, morphed back and called the others about the upcoming meeting. But these journals are supposed to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And considering what I have to write a few chapters from now, this was really nothing. I remembered what Homer would do, curling up and licking himself. I'm thirteen years old! I couldn't help but be curious.

Bending further, I sniffed myself between my legs. It was tough to take that first leap, so I let Homer take over. I began licking myself, my wide, wet tongue quickly lapping. It felt good, and I tasted fine. A little salty, but that's what I wanted. I looked further down, realizing that although Homer was neutered, I clearly wasn't. I reached further down and licked them.

It felt incredible, and I completely forgot about morphing back. Soon my saliva was coating the soft fur between my legs. I had always wished I were as flexible as Homer, and now I knew that that wish was justified.

I kept licking, until something strange happened. Something slimy and red emerged. I'd never seen anything like this happen with Homer, but I guess that's because he was neutered. Homer's instincts were confused, so I had to take over.

I licked it. If I had felt good before this was incredible. The more I lapped, the more that appeared. Carefully I wrapped my muzzle around it, running my tongue back and forth. I was in absolute bliss as it grew in my mouth.

I noticed I was whimpering from the sensation. I was really sensitive down there, but I doubt I would have stopped even if Tobias had come back into the room. That's how out of it I was.

I tasted something extra salty in my throat, but I didn't slow my licks. It didn't even cross my mind how gross what I was doing was. I just felt way too good. But then I started to feel weird. I was already sensitive, but it felt like it was getting worse and worse. There was a growing pit in my stomach, and I almost stopped in surprise.

But I didn't. I kept licking, even when I felt like I was on fire. Then suddenly, the pain gave way to pleasure. It was unbelievable. I'd never felt better in my entire life! I felt something strike the back of my throat, and I reflexively swallowed it. I had tasted this before, moments ago, but now there was more of it. A lot more. I gulped it all down. It really didn't matter compared to how I felt.

But the ecstasy I felt faded quickly, and suddenly I burned down there. My gentle licks had changed from amazing to agonizing, so I pulled away, panting. Dogs don't sweat, it turns out. They run air across their large tongue to cool themselves down.

I was sluggish after that. I felt like sleeping, but I knew I couldn't be in an animal form for more than two hours. I had to change back, but it was so hard to do anything when I felt so good. It wasn't like the bliss I had felt earlier for those wonderful few seconds. It was more like a deep happiness.

It was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do, but I managed to morph back. Changing back was just like morphing in the first place, only in reverse. It wasn't painful, just weird. And I definitely made sure not to look in the mirror!