(Scene, An Room Within ye Strongehold of the Pyrate Lord O’Donnel.)
So, there's a lot of discussions that, for some reason, in combination prompted me to do this. It would be tedious to recount them all here.
I guess the simplest explanation is I got the idea "What if Shakespeare had written Starfox/Disney Robin Hood R34?" lodged in my head, and the only way to get it out was to make it real.
(Enter James McCloud, and Wolf O'Donnell. They bring with them Richard and Robin, bound and gagged.)
Wolf: I had hoped to escape affairs of state!
James: For you and I to scape them, so must they
At least a little while. This dismal cell
Must their salvation prove, and secrecy.
Wolf: Always your weapon secrecy.
James: I know
None better. Although dismal it may be,
Tis not so dismal as the headsman's block!
Wolf: Yet if we mean them ever to regain,
Their realm, their thrones, their home again at last,
We cannot lean on secrecy alone.
We must have other weapons, less abstract!
Perhaps your son-
James: Speak not of him again!
I have risked gold, and secrets, and my name.
I risk the very throne Plantagenet.
I risk another war among the stars.
I risk your life, and mine. I cannot risk
His too. Would that in faith I could!
I must away. I may no more among
Your men here tarry undisguised. If one
Should mind my face or guess my name, and live,
Then more lives than my own would be forfeit.
We play a game most delicate now, pup!
Wolf: Yet who can play it better?
James: Who indeed?
Keep them whatever comforts that you can,
The one is king, the other may as well
Be prince. (exit)
Wolf: Yet what do kings and princes weigh
Against the weight of gold, of bellies filled?
Ah honor, howsoever you may reach
To catch me, I remain the pirate king. (he removes the captives' bonds)
Up then, sirs! Your chambers are prepared.
I hope they satisfy, you may be here
For no small time!
Richard: Thou villain and a knave!
You have forsworn yourself, undone all trust
That kindly nature twixt bedfellows plants!
You thought to warm my bed, only to find
A fitter sheath for your dirk in my back!
Wolf: Of all the fellows who have warmed your bed
Who has not shown your backside to his sword?
Robin: Where is your master, cur?
Wolf: I own of none.
No king or emperor is reverenced here.
But fear you not. Here shall you both be safe,
As I did promise, as I have performed.
The tale is given out that you are dead.
And John has crowned himself, amid much haste.
He'll feel no need to hound after the blood
He thinks already spilled and cooling.
Richard: John?
Is this his scheming then, that brought you to
My bed, and me to your imprisonment?
Wolf: No schemes here but mine own. But mind them not!
You have whatever small freedom the space
Between black ocean and black ocean gives!
If there are any comforts you require
But speak of them. They likely are not here,
But it can do no harm to ask!
Robin: Cold night!
Already I can feel it in the stones.
When sun has set this place must then become
A very tomb of ice!
Richard: Are we to freeze?
Wolf: It does grow cold, my lords, among the skies,
But that I can address. I shall send one
To stoke the fire, and bring thee such rough cloths
As is our habit here to bed upon.
The meantimes, why, I can but recommend
That you should huddle close together, sirs.
There is no heat like body heat, I deem,
And can attest indeed that both of you
Are used enough at that! (exit laughing)