Finding Ones Place, pt 4
#4 of Finding Ones Place
Finding Ones Place, pt 4
After two blocks at a dead run I found myself tackled from behind and thrown into some bushes. Having been in track when it comes to running Shadow always has me claws down.
Upon returning to the apartment I loaned Shadow a towl which he used to dry off his scales upon removing his soaking shirt.
Though I offered him use of one of mine he chose to go without letting his slate chest scales glint in the light as he streched out on the couch.
"Shall it be popcorn with the feature or chips and dip?" I call from the kitchen rumaging through the meger food I keep in the apartment.
When one lives alone there is rarely a time when I actually bother cooking for just myself. I see no point in it when I can simply go without. I'm to lazy to cook anyway though I am fairly good at it so I'm told.
"Popcorn hands down." He replys lifting his head over the back of the couch to glance at me before returning his head to the cushions.
"As you wish your great laziness" As I grab a bag and through it into the microwave.
"So which movie shall we watch first?" Again glancing over the couch.
"I don't know what sounds good to you?"
"Hey now I chose the snacks so its your turn to choose the feature." He complains while launching a cushion at me as I enter the living room carrying to bowls of popcorn.
"Well what do I have to choose from then? After all it was you who chose at the video store." As I hand him his bowl and take a seat in the recliner to the side of the couch.
"Point taken. Then I shall narrow the choices. Comedy or Action?" He inquires with a slight tilt of his head eyeing me as I gaze off acting like it is such an impossible decision.
"Action. Your idea of comedy and mine are two very different things." As I get up and move to put the movie into the player.
"Thats just because you have no sense of humor." As Shadow sticks his long tounge out at me.
"Oh really. It sounds like you want to have another bath." As I through a handful of popcorn at him.
"Just try it." He says shooting a glare with malouse is in his gaze.
"Is that a challenge." I say as I move to act like I'm going for the water gun agian.
Though he simply slumps down onto the couch and grumbles no under his breath I can't help but laugh as I hit the light switch and start the movie.
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The movie was of nothing special. Someone shot his family so he in return went and sought revenge. The same old story played out time and time again.
After the movie I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already getting pretty late so I offer Shadow the option of staying over however he declined saying he had to work early the next morning so I drove him home.
After I droped him off at his place I chose to drive out to the lake just south of town and found a nice secluded part on the back side.
I pulled in and turned off the car and climbed out and found a nice grassy area without a lot of rocks or trash left by those who were to lazy and irresponsible to pick up after themselves.
I layed down and made myself comfortable and simply gazed up at the stars.
Out here there was practically no light polution giving way to the stars up above shining down upon me with each gleaming brightly as though they were smiling at me.
As I continued to gaze up at the clear night sky I noticed the moon as it shone with a light tint of red to it. Such an interesting hugh I simply could not look away as I contiuned to stare at it for what seemed like an eternity. As though it was calling to me, drawing my attention to it like a gravity ever pulling closer to the earth, though it felt as though I was being drawn upward toward the night sky.
After lying there for what was nearly two hours according to my watch I sat up and streched. Having named nearly all the constelations I know wich is in fact quite a few I slow rise to my feet. I gaze around at the peaceful area with trees grouped to clustered here and there around the terrain surrounding the lake.
I stroll though a few until I come up to the waters edge and climb out onto the trunk of a tree that has grown horizontally for a ways streching out over the smooth surface of the water before heading back up towards the sky.
I lay there for a few minutes gazing down into the deep blue water and as my reflection stares back up at me. As though from another world shrouded in darkness.
As I gaze down I find myself reaching out towards my reflection and see it reaching out to me as though I am there just below the surface simply reaching out hoping someone will take my hand and save me from the surrounding darkness. To set my feet back upon the ground and walk with me. To stand beside me day by day and be there for me.
A sudden riple streches out from a single drop. I stop and look at my reflection and see that the drop has escaped from my own eye. I sit up upon the tree now as I straddle it so as not to loose my balance and join my reflection benieth the icy water as I wipe away the tears that had formed in my eyes.
I stared down at my now wet claws and could not help but feel a sense of betrayal. As though my eyes had suddenly shown that which I keep locked away inside and now they were waving it around for the whole world to see. Though no one was anywhere for miles I still hastily dried my eyes and blinked around as though I were standing in the center of town.
To feel such sorrow in a quite and serene place like this felt wrong. I should be calm and one with this place, not letting tears fall from my maw. I return to the shore from the tree and make my way to my car and proceed to make my way home in silence having no desire to turn the radio on.
The drive home went by swiftly and suddenly as though no time had passed at all I found myself parking and then making my way up the steps.
As I open the door I find myself greated by the quite darkness that inhabits my apartment. I make my way inside and stroll into my room not bothering to turn on the light.
I remove my cloths and cast them down onto the floor and flop down on my bed and stare up at the dark ceiling above.
Its not that I am alone because I'm completely undesirable. I get offers all the time and continuely turn girls down for dates. I find myself plagued by girls trying to flirt with me but it always feels the same. I am a large dragon which is rare and refused to go out with anyone so they take that as a challenge and come on all the harder wanting what they cannot have.
I know that if I broke down and said yes then they would no longer be interested but I can never do it. They are all the same, no brains to the point I would have a more intellectual conversation with a brick wall and all they want is to get physical. Wich is something that I won't do.
I don't particularly care for physical contact on any scale but except it from those such as family or really close friends. Aside from that I prefer not to be touched and all the girls who want to date me insist upon trying to hang all over me which mearly fulls my urge to yell at them for their gross incompetense. But alas I can never do it.
Is it really to much to ask to find someone of decent intellegence with whom I can share a full conversation with without wanting to claw my own ears off. To find someone who to whom I can relate and even have a heated debate with in simple good fun. Thats the kind of mate I long for and I am preferred to wait. For I shall freely and openly give myself to one and only one. I choose to mate for life, not when its convient. But prehaps thats to much to hope for.
I run my claw across my face in exhaustion and once again feel wetness upon my palm. With a heavy sigh I simply let the tears flow as I drift off into sleep longing for tomorrow when things may look up and longing for that hole inside my chest to feel full and so that I may one day feel whole without having to feel a hole.
Then I clear my mind and am surrounded by darkness yet again.....