Days Filled With Blur
It's a short, quite personal story I think we all can relate to. Sorry if I haven't gotten to post anything here in a long time, but I almost gave up on writing. Now, I have a Telegram channel where I wrote short chapters and short stories. They are a little over 4,000 characters, so around ~800 words - because that's a single post's limit on the Telegram. I also picked up posting on Telegram, because I think most of us use phones nowadays - especially now.
One of the reasons why it has a rather unusual build when compared to my other stuff.
I am trying to get Commissions, too. But no avail. That's why this story is so personal.
Mostly because, this is me right now.
Sorry, if I am way too emotional but... I guess we all hit that bottom at some point given how fucked up the times are right now.
There was a young man. Young in relativity though, around his 30s. He had been sitting at the house, typing on his keyboard. Under normal circumstances it would be considered and lazy, given there would be more and more money earned from different things.
At least they claimed it would be.
Day after day ever since this viral pandemic started, the magpie just sat at his computer and scrolled through media. That is, when not doing anything related to job searching. That was something that hadn't changed for three years straight.
Or more. In all honesty he wouldn't tell, because days passed so fast in the year the virus spread.
What seemed to be a nice thing quickly turned into matter of issues. Plans were put away, as even leaving his own city would be a risk. Hell, he even went through the illness what only left him weakened - and scared.
There had been a day when the young man thought he would be dead the next day, as the worst happened. He even sneezed blood at some point, what scared him the most. Thankfully, the male went through it without issues. But heavily weakened.
It had been months now, but feeling weak didn't really go away. Even worse, the started the dark thoughts. He might had been living on parents accord - due to his inability to find a job. Hell, he'd undertake any at that point but everyone rejected his resume.
Especially now, when vaccination became obligatory even in the jobs that could be easily made remote. But then, employers knew their thing better and in all honesty, they just sought excuses not to pay new workers.
At some point, the young man started to have even worse thoughts. To feeling like a parasite came a realization that he might had wasted his life by abandoning drawing a decade ago. He never saw any progress back then. But maybe today, the fandom would pay him the money even his parents had never seen.
But those were very broken dreams. Time travel was impossible, maybe only by thought. Thinking about it wouldn't really matter, too. But he had nothing else to do.
Another log-in to the e-mail, offers, more offers. Checking the sites for the jobs and sending resumes like a spam bot at some days. No replies. Or at least very generic We Are Not Hiring. "Then why the fuck you put ads on the sites in the first place?!"
That angry question was always left without any answer.
He looked at the psychiatrist sites, but everyone demand money. Hell, the young man could even swear that prices doubled thanks to the world-wide pandemic.
Shaking his head, he turned his computer off, silenced the smartphone and threw it... somewhere. Nobody would ring anyway, aside of the daily alert set to 8 AM. Like every day. Monday... Friday... It never mattered at that point. Days became blurred and all the same.
Even the hobbies became something he could not enjoy without overthinking. Hell, the male was at the point he couldn't afford much of expanding his hobbies.
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
"Tomorrow's is the very same day. Like everyday."
Actually, there was one difference. To some it would be significant but to him was just a sad another page of a longer pointless text of wall in his life.
Another phone-call to the unemployment office. The same generic question about getting the job. "No, I couldn't find any." And yet another date written in the calendar - because, if the young man missed the day, they would take away the "free" healthcare.
Day, like everyday - filled with blur.