Dirty Dicks

Story by Wolfslut on SoFurry

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Derek was about to give up as the road took yet another turn into the middle of nowhere. He was getting impatient, and starting to think this was too much effort to be worth the bother. The place was supposed "an hour's drive" from his apartment, and it had been just about that long already, with nothing in sight. He was about to turn the car around when a building finally appeared in the distance.

The plain brick facade was more or less inconspicuous, and considering what was inside that wasn't surprising. A deep breath through his nose as he drove into the parking lot told the wolf that he had definitely found the right place. A blinking neon side hung above the door on one side, the words "Dirty Dicks" lit up in pink.

The gray wolf grabbed a rather full envelope as he got out of the car, a bit jittery with excitement. He was dressed in very tight black pants, and a fitted blue t-shirt. His fur was mostly white, with a few rust-colored patches here and there, and darker grayish-tan fur on the back of his head and his ear tips. His yellow eyes scanned the empty lot for anything interesting, but it was just before sundown, and the club had probably just opened minutes before.

"A-hem," a low voice rumbled as Derek walked through the door. A bull--a very large bull--held his hand out toward the wolf, beckoning for something.

"Right here, big fella," Derek said with a lop-sided smirk, handing over the envelope. He tapped one foot nervously as the bull opened it and looked over the papers.

"You're clear."

"Awesome. Thanks, beefcake." The bull grunted in reply as Derek went further in, his tight pants shifting over his rear end as he swayed his hips from side to side. The club itself was quite large, tables spaced pretty evenly, with plenty of chairs. A huge stage protruded into the middle of the room, empty for the moment. The floor of the stage was made up of grates, a stark sign of the unique entertainment offered at this establishment. Numerous projection screens set up all over the room showed the stage from every feasible angle, even some that would get the performers from below.

Derek had been excited to come to this joint ever since his boyfriend had told him about it a week ago. He'd gone straight to the website to fill out the membership trial application, and to sign all the paperwork. There were so many things to fill out he'd wanted to throw his keyboard against the wall, but Derek had been certain it would all be worth it.

A few more furs came in and sat down, and Derek took a seat as close to the stage as he could get--which was still a pretty good distance away. He watched as a steady stream of customers began to pour through the main doors. Before long, the place was packed full of males, all wanting the same thing by the smell of it.

The roars and cheers were nearly deafening when the music started. A Doberman stepped onto the stage, built like a god and wearing an insanely tight white undershirt over his powerful torso. He had an olive drab army vest over that, and his matching pants left nothing to the imagination. A spiked leather collar and a pair of black combat boots rounded out the ensemble. The heavy thunks of his boots against the grates were perfectly in beat, just like everything else the furs in the audience would be treated to that night. He grinned to his audience and flexed his veiny biceps, then let his hips join in the rhythm. The vest was the first thing to go, then the belt. The pants slid barely an inch, and the Doberman turned his back and shook his hips hard from side to side. Each movement took the trousers just a little lower, teasing the entire room with his half-exposed ass. He hooked a thumb in either side of the waistband, squeezing his firm cheeks. A few more shakes of his hips had his ass in full view, as well as the brown stain in his crack and on his fingers. His dancing stopped for just a second, and the brown spot grew. He squatted, pushing out more into his paws, and turned back around as he stood, getting raucous applause from the audience and giving everyone a marvelous view of his drooling erection. He arched his back, and held his paws above him, letting the log of shit fall right onto his white shirt. He squashed it flat as his dance resumed, then rubbed it all over his chest, ruining the shirt with his waste. His paws went all the way up and down, even smearing shit on his cock. He tweaked a nipple and stroked himself as the tempo slowed, and the next stripper kissed the Doberman as he walked off stage.

This guy was a much skinnier cat, far more effeminate than the canine. The most prominent feature on him was his collar, other than the mesh shirt and black leather pants that wouldn't have fit him when he was twelve. Another cat, taller and a bit bigger, came out behind him, dressed much the same but for the lack of a collar. He undid his zipper without pause, while the other, subby one knelt on the stage, and the crowd roared with excitement. The kneeling cat nuzzled the dom's crotch, then licked the cock with his tongue. The dom moaned, and they both started moving in place with the rhythm, rocking forward and back as the dom's erection grew. A trickle of golden fluid splashed over the sub's face, and he opened his mouth wide to let it fall on his tongue. The dom grabbed the back of his toilet's head, and pushed him onto the stream, until his cock was fully engulfed by the sub's muzzle. The sub's eyes rolled back as he gulped down the piss, each swallow in time to the music. He drank down his master's urine almost lovingly, and the next stripper came onto stage while the felines were still in the middle of their act.

Derek recognized this one as the bull from the door, except he was wearing pretty much nothing but a loincloth. His pecs were already covered in thick, dark brown shit, and so was his gut. He threw the loincloth to the side unceremoniously as he came up next to the felines, towering over them both. The sub stood, and the bull used his massive hands to shove both cats onto his chest, rubbing their faces in the scat. They licked his pecs hungrily and suckled on his nipples, getting his mammoth tool hard in no time. He pushed both cats onto their knees, just as the dom had done to his sub before, and pissed all over both of them. He moved his powerful torrent back and forth with the rhythm, and it seemed to last forever. Once it trickled away, the cats stood, running their claws over his shitty gut teasingly as they danced off stage.

The bull put his hand under his ass, and grimaced as he clenched his bowels. A thick mound of brown slop landed in his open palm with a splat. He turned around, then painted his cheeks with the filth using both hands, until there was nothing of his fur visible under the brown mess. While he was smearing his backside with his own feces, the Doberman returned to the stage, just as disgusting as he'd been when he walked off. He got down on all fours and looked up at the bull expectantly, like any dog waiting for a treat. The bovine grinned and presented the canine with his shitty rump, which the Doberman licked top to bottom with gusto. The crowd cheered as the dog's mouth was stained brown with bull scat. He had a huge smirk plastered on his face, blissful and covered in shit--the same smile every fur in the audience wished they could have right at that moment.

The pair walked off, hands on each other's crotches, and a new pair took their places. They were predatory felines, a lion and a tiger, and were absolutely massive, probably bodybuilders. Their intimidating frames were quickly thrown into the beat of the music with sways and gyrations of their hips and the flexing of their titanic upper bodies, and within seconds all the furs in the room were lost in a trance. The tiger held the lion's erection in his paw for a moment, then grinned and knelt down, licking the member before getting a face full of lion piss. The urine splashed all over the tiger's head, spilling down his chest, back, and shoulders. He closed his mouth over the lionhood and swallowed repeatedly, then pulled off and leaned back to make sure his chest was good and coated. He sat on his rear end and put his legs out in front of him, then the lion bent over to pick them up. The lion walked forward a few steps, rolling the tiger onto his back and then his shoulder blades, and the tiger reached both arms over his own head to support himself. The tiger's legs were now up in the air, and his asshole was positioned almost directly over his mouth.

He opened his muzzle wide, then his abs flexed as he pushed hard and forced out a thick, solid turd. It reached almost half a foot into the air before it broke off and fell onto his face, half the log in his muzzle and the other half hanging out the side. He bit down and chewed, then opened wide as he expelled another, less compacted log. This one landed right on target, and he chewed voraciously so he'd be able to swallow before the next one came. But before it could fall, the lion scarfed up the thick sausage, swallowing it in big gulps without even chewing. He kept his head there, shoving his tongue into the tiger's ass to dig more out. The tiger started pissing into his own mouth while he crapped into the lion's maw. The lion stepped back once the stream died off, then the tiger rolled back to his feet, just as the two smaller cats came back on stage, now wearing nothing but tight black thongs, though the sub still had his collar.

The predators shared dirty kisses with their smaller feline counterparts, showing off the new lack of clothing on the littler cats by squeezing their rumps tight. The little ones giggled, then the larger couple walked off. The shorter of the two was rubbing up against his dom with a lusty grin on his face. The dom soon wore the same horny smirk, and their claws found their way all over each other's bodies, both of them gasping for breath as their thongs tightened against their growing erections. The music took on a more entrancing tone as they danced and writhed against each other, making the audience lose themselves in the fluid movements of the dancers. The dom pushed the sub down, and the smaller cat obediently laid on his back. His thong was stretched almost to breaking by his cock, which was throbbing against its leather restraints like it would burst free at any second. The dom stepped over his slave, and squatted over his muzzle. The sub took the bigger cat's thong in his teeth and pulled it down, not even blinking as it snapped off and nearly hit him across the eyes. A drop of pre from his dom's cock hit him on the nose, and he licked it off as the bigger feline got into position. Within another moment, a creamy brown log was falling into the slave's mouth, and it was followed by more, with the sub rimming in between. Of course, this got more noise from the crowd, and both cats were beaming as they got up and walked offstage again.

Derek's drink hit his table with a thud as the next stripper came on stage. The guy was a wolf, average build, pretty normal markings, mostly mottled dark gray fur. He pulled off his tight black shirt as he danced, and twirled it over his head. Then, with his back to the crowd, he dipped his ass toward the floor, and repeated it with the beat. Each time, his pants were a little more full and a little more brown. He kept dancing, and little bits of crap fell around his feet through his pantlegs. Derek growled and got up from his table hastily, doing his best not to make a scene as he walked out of the building. He made his way to his car, then called his boyfriend Greg after waiting a bit.

"Hello?" his boyfriend said when he picked up.

"What the fuck was that in there, Greg? Why didn't you tell me?!" Derek yelled.

"You didn't like it?"

"Why the hell would I like watching you crap yourself in front of a hundred other horny guys? The least you could have done was tell me!" Derek was flustered.

"You're overreacting, Derek...It's not like any of them are allowed to touch me..."

"I don't care! You're supposed to do that for me, not a room full of shit-eaters!"

"...Look, I've still got another routine to do tonight. I'll see you at home later." He hung up abruptly.

"Asshole," Derek spat, slamming his car door shut and putting the key in the ignition. He had to ignore his erection the whole drive back to his apartment, but being so ticked off at Greg made it a lot easier than it would have been otherwise. What the hell was his boyfriend doing stripping without telling him?

Luckily, there weren't many other drivers on the road, so far out in the middle of nowhere. It was only when he was closer to his apartment that traffic picked up, and he'd mostly calmed down by then.

He went straight to the fridge, pulling out leftovers from the steakhouse he and Greg had eaten at the night before and tossing them in the microwave. While he waited, he turned on the TV and idly flipped through channels, settling on a random nature documentary. He never really paid attention anyway, he just wanted the background noise while he ate. The microwave beeped, and he pulled out the wonderful-smelling meat, steaming hot. Never as good reheated that way, of course, but he really didn't feel like cooking.

The wolf plopped lazily on the couch with his meal, and ate slowly while he waited for Greg to get home. Only a few bites in, Derek stopped for a second, putting the fork to his lips. He was going to have to get back at his boyfriend for this somehow...but the problem was, he was still insanely horny. Those cats had completely taken him, and just imagining them now, licking off all that shit from that bull's pecs, Derek's pants were getting tight.

"Agh, I can't think about that right now," he chided himself. "I have to be angry at Greg when he gets home, or he'll forget that I yelled at him." He turned up the volume on the TV to distract him from any other lusty thoughts, and deliberately ate even slower.

It was about an hour later when Derek heard the deadbolt on the door. He'd just finished the last bite of the steak, so the entire apartment smelled like it. That...might make it harder to keep Greg's attention on him, he realized too late. Regardless, he stood in front of the door and put on his most disappointed face, trying desperately to keep his mind on the topic at hand--the fact that his boyfriend was being disloyal, and never even said anything. The doorknob turned.

"Derek! I--" Greg tried to start, but Derek held up a paw.

"Greg, you're an asshole. Why didn't you fucking tell me?"

Greg broke eye contact and his tail fell. "Sorry, I wanted it to be a surprise...I didn't know you'd be so angry about it..." His voice was small and meek.

"Who wouldn't be pissed off about something like that? Seriously, you just sign up to go strip at the seediest fucking place in town and you think I wouldn't be?"

"You were in the damn audience, what's the difference?!"

"I wasn't taking my clothes off and shitting myself! You're sleeping on the damn couch tonight, got it?" Derek threw his arm out toward the sofa, Greg's head following it.

Greg's ears flattened. "Fine. You going to bed now?"

"Yeah."

"Sleep well."

Derek paused as he walked toward the bedroom. "...Yeah."

"Good night, dear."

Derek didn't respond as he closed the bedroom door, and hoped that his boyfriend hadn't noticed any signs of how horny he was. His prick was getting stiff just from thinking about Greg, now, and especially Greg's performance. Sleeping tonight wasn't going to be very easy.

He undressed, gasping a little as his wolfhood was finally free of his tight pants, and crawled under the covers, sniffing deeply. They hadn't been washed for a few days, and were collecting a really, really nice stink. Derek's erection started producing precum as he drifted off to sleep, the smell of days-old shit and piss caressing his nostrils.

"Unnnnnnnnnngh," Derek moaned. He was having a wonderful dream, getting a golden shower from both those stripper cats. The sub's stream was going all over his chest, and the dom's stream was aimed straight for his mouth, letting him drink up all that delicious piss right from the tap. He sputtered and coughed a little, then sat up. He blinked.

"Morning, sunshine," Greg said, kneeling over Derek. Greg's fully erect cock was pointed right at Derek's muzzle, and his torrent of dark yellow urine was shooting right onto Derek's tongue.

"Mmmmm," Derek moaned, lapping up the other wolf's piss. The flavor was so strong Derek's taste buds almost burned, but that only made it better.

"Still mad at me?"

Derek grabbed Greg's dick with a paw, and closed his lips over the piss-slit, swallowing every few seconds until the fountain died off.

"Good, because I made sure to save my best shit for you. You want your breakfast now, hon, or do you want to wait until after I've cooked something for you?"

"Now, bastard." Derek pulled Greg closer with a paw on either of his hips, and was wearing a broad, shit-eating grin. "And who said you were allowed to cook?"

Greg laughed, then turned around and scooted back until he could feel Derek's nose at his asshole. He yelped softly when Derek's wet tongue slipped over the pink rosebud, and gave his boyfriend a gassy fart in return for the favor.

Derek sniffed deep, then pulled Greg's cheeks aside with his thumbs. "I hope you know I'm fucking starving," he said to his partner's hole.

"You're always--uuungh!" Greg paused to grunt as he shoved. "Hungry...ungh!...in the morning." He smiled down at Derek as a thick log inched its way out of his hole.

Derek licked at the brown sausage, his heart racing. His legs shook as he tasted it, and as soon as there was enough out, he bit it off and chewed. He gagged as the ball of gooey slime slid down his throat. He didn't even chew the next turd, and soon the shit was more a flow of creamy brown matter than individual logs. He let the dirty slop fall straight into his mouth, devouring it hungrily. A small pool of precum pooled on his abs from the tip of his throbbing member, which he was ignoring in favor of his filthy breakfast.

Greg took a deep breath through his nostrils and grunted one last time, giving his all for one final push. Derek's eyes went wide as it rushed out all at once, splattering everywhere over his head and throat. He had to close his eyes to rub the shit away, then licked off his paws slowly, savoring the horrid taste.

"Was it good, hon?" Greg asked, looking over his shoulder at his lover, whose face was now a sticky brown mess of matted fur.

"It was wonderful," Derek answered blissfully, his shit-eating grin now stained dark brown. "Too bad that's all of it."

"I'll have more for you later." His eyes found Derek's tremendously hard erection. "I think I see a piece of meat that I'd love for my morning meal...you wouldn't happen to have saved some shit for me to use for seasoning?"

Derek looked thoughtful. "Only because you brought me breakfast in bed," he finally said with a markedly brown smirk.

"Great!" Greg clambered off his mate, crawling around to put his paws under Derek's ass. Derek lifted his legs into the air and pushed out a thick, stinking log into the waiting paws. This shit smelled much stronger than Greg's, and it was more solid, too. Greg stuffed it into his mouth and chewed until it was a soft paste. The feces was so disgusting it made his eyes water, but that only made it better. Grabbing Derek's cock with one paw, Greg dove onto it, the slimy mass in his maw coating it and dribbling down the entire length. He bobbed up and down as he sucked with gusto, getting it deeper and deeper into his throat. A mixture of shit and saliva leaked out over his paw and onto Derek's balls, while Greg got to work with his tongue. First he lapped over the tip, then the underside, then teased right around the piss-slit, making Derek moan loudly.

"Like that, hon?" Greg asked, his mouth covered in Derek's crap. "'Cause I'm going to make this last as looooooong as I can." He grinned, then put his filthy paw on his own erection, his mate's droppings dirtying his manhood quickly. His tongue flicked over the tip of Derek's cock, then he closed his lips around it tight, and suckled more gently than before. He swirled his tongue around the full length of the rod, the pre mixing with the crap and becoming his ambrosia. With his other paw, Greg gave a firm tug to Derek's scrotum, getting a satisfying yelp. He massaged the shit-covered furry sac slowly, applying just enough pressure that Derek would really feel it. The throbbing cock in his mouth was jammed suddenly deeper down his throat when Derek bucked his hips, but Greg barely gagged as he swallowed the shitstick. He continued his work as if he'd never been interrupted, going up and down the length and pulling and squeezing on the ballsac in time with his boyfriend's rather rhythmic pelvic thrusting.

Of course, Derek himself could no longer tell which way was up, much less which part of his anatomy Greg was servicing at any one moment. All he knew was that the taste of Greg's shit on his tongue coupled with the heavy stink in the room was making it very hard not to cum. In fact, it was taking all of his effort to hold the orgasm back, and his firm grasp on the situation was very, very rapidly slipping. A howl escaped him before anything else did, and soon Greg found a rather powerful shot of semen hitting the back of his throat. He opened his maw, another spurt hitting his tongue, and when he closed his lips to swallow that a shot hit him across the nose. One on his chest, then one last dying shot on Derek's, and the climaxing wolf on the bottom collapsed back into the mattress.

Greg chuckled at the thud his boyfriend made back onto the bed, and slurped up the last couple drops of seed leaking from the tip of Derek's cock. A tiny bead of cum dribbled out of one corner of his lips, but instead of licking it up he nuzzled against Derek, rubbing that tiny bit of drool into his mate's cheek. Derek's tongue flicked over the spot on Greg's lip, and he pulled the looming wolf down on top of him. Greg fell forward, his erection smacking between their abdomens.

"I still haven't cum yet, hon," Greg said, eyes glancing downward.

"I know."

"...And?"

"You don't get to."

"...That's just not fair."

"Neither is stripping at a club without telling me."

"So I...?"

"You have to finish on your own."

"I went through all that? For nothing?" Greg whimpered a little. "That's really not fair..." He looked like a kicked puppy.

"You sure don't get to have my ass this morning, if that's what you're really asking. Maybe if you have a treat for me later you'll be allowed to have some more fun." Derek winked, and groped Greg's ass.

"I have to remember not to get you mad at me anymore..."

"Damn right. Now give me a kiss before I go take a shower. ...And get off me."

Greg rolled to the side and locked lips with Derek, trying to suck out all the tasty shit that his boyfriend still had in his mouth. Derek pulled away and got up off the bed. Greg just watched as the other wolf walked over to the bathroom and closed the door, his extremely hard erection going half-unnoticed in favor of the fantasies he was having about what he'd get to do to that sexy fucking wolf ass later that night.

Because of course, Derek wasn't going to get a choice about whether they fucked again that night. It was a given, after a session like that being left unfinished. And Greg still hadn't told Derek what the biggest perk of the strip joint was--the money to buy his boyfriend a very special present.

But for the time being, Greg rolled over on the bed and buried his head in the pool of his piss that had missed Derek's mouth earlier, letting the heady scent lull him to sleep while his boyfriend cleaned off. If the rest of his day went anything like this, it was going to be wonderful. And the ending would only be better.