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Wednesday, February 12th at 11:34 P.M.

I am not sure whether this is an achievement I should necessarily brag about, but I officially finished my first package of diapers.

The feeling of wearing a soggy diaper for several hours afterwards because I'm too little to be able to change myself, and little babies can't do something like that is an experience I have difficulty describing.

My roommate ended up being out of town for the entire weekend following the week of the arrival of my first package, so I was able to indulge myself at my leisure during that time.

From the moment he left there was not a single point during that weekend where I was not padded up, sitting comfortably and enjoying the sensation of comfort and mild embarrassment at the thought of what he might think if he saw me.

The idea of him immediately delving into teasing and patting of my diaper did enter my mind once or twice, but I tried not to think about that too much. It caused me to blush in embarrassment too much, almost breaking the spell of ecstasy and ease the diapers induced on me.

After the first two wettings that weekend I found that it became easier to spontaneously begin a stream in whatever position I happened to be in, whether it was sitting down or standing up.

The most enjoyable one I have to say was when I woke up in the middle of the night with a desperate urge to pee.

I had made sure to drink several glasses of water before retiring, even past the point of comfort to be sure that I would have the need to use the bathroom at some point during the night.

Waking up with a slightly aching bladder, the feeling of littleness that came with not moving from the position I had waking up in and simply letting go into my diaper was one that again is hard to describe, as continued to think about myself as just a helpless little baby whose night time diapers were there to keep me safe and dry.

Unfortunately, the fresh diaper I had put on before going to bed must have been at an awkward angle, because the moment was ruined when I shifted after wetting and felt that the bedsheets were damped.

I had cursed, annoyed that my moment of real life fantasy was interrupted by something so annoying as a diaper leak.

Still, I was able to salvage the moment and partially console myself by once again gently chiding myself for being such a heavy wetter and making a stain on the bed sheets.

The soggy and thick feeling between my legs as I crammed my bedsheets into the washer in the wee hours of the morning also contributed to my feelings of helplessness and embarrassment.

Still, I don't think I am done just yet. I want to actually experience the blissful release of responsibility knowing that no matter how much I wet into my padding I can sleep soundly knowing that my diapers will soak it up.

That is why another package arrived at my front doorstep together, a special order from a company that specialized in my fantasies.

I have been doing a fair amount of internet research on the subject; I discovered the existence of the term Adult Baby, and I believe I might belong in this category.

To my absolute delight, there are a fair amount of companies specializing in the development of products designed specifically to be consumed by those who wish to live out their 'little' fantasies.

The aptly named 'POOFZ' diapers that had arrived on my doorstep in their discreet packaging was one of these products. These diapers were almost comically thick, at several inches they not only prevented any possibility of bringing your knees together but the significant thickness came with remarkable absorbency.

Once could theoretically wear these diapers for several days and they would hold up resiliently to even the most dedicated of wetters.

Still, I don't intend to develop any diaper rashes as cute and humiliating as that sounds, with the copious amounts of rash cream and baby powder I have been applying.

As I write this I am wearing this now, and I honestly cannot tell how many times I have wet it.

It's become a much easier process now, I am beginning to just go when padded whenever I feel a slight twinge in my bladder.

I find that when diapered and utilizing this method of wetting there are many more instances of peeing but at much smaller volumes of pee.

This is something that I think only adds to the experience however, as enjoying the sensation of warmth and sogginess between my legs once or twice an hour is something I tell myself is what a real baby would do.

After all, good little babies don't hold it, right?

I'm really having too much fun with this, I've become much more aware of my roommate's schedule now so I can properly pad up without detection.

Still, there have been a handful of close calls. He went into my room to ask me a question just as I was tying up a bag of my used diapers to go sneak out and throw away.

Thankful he did not ask about the trash bag as I regularly take trash out of my room anyway, but had he come to knock at my door a minute earlier he might have heard the ripping of tapes as I was taking off my most recently finished pair of pamps.

I definitely will not be able to wear discreetly around him with these new POOFZ diapers. It really is like they were designed to be the opposite of subtle.

They crinkle loudly, they bulge out absurdly, and they cause the wearer to adopt a distinct waddle with the complete inability to walk straight.

They also made the adhesive on the tapes rather difficult to get off, once you put it on and it stays for a few minutes the diaper is remarkably difficult to take off.

I am beginning to think this is a feature though, as pretending to try to take the diaper off while helplessly wetting in it does make it a more exciting experience.

The complete envelopment of my bits with the large amounts of thirsty padding that I don't have to worry about leaks really is a nice feeling.

I'm hoping to get a fair amount of use out of this new package. I actually feel so little wearing so big diapers, the proportions are pretty much there when it comes to being a baby in a large diaper.

I never knew I would enjoy not being able to have my knees touch to the extent I am now, just because I have to make sure baby's properly padded to prevent any puddles from forming.

Gosh... I knew I had a thing for diapers but I really can't find myself not getting some more just to continue the fun.

I think I might even see about getting some accessories to add onto this experience, although I might have to make one of those diaper pail...

Waking up to the scent of stale urine when I can't sneak out a used diaper past the roommate really is not a fun experience, being hygienic about this is a bit of a process.

I think I know where the majority of my next paycheck is going to go next month...

One more thing, my roommate is going to be out of town again next weekend. I think it's about time I try the other part of diaper wearing.

I think messing is going to be a whole experience unto itself; I even got a laxative from the pharmacy the other day to make the experience even more babyish.

Being stuck helplessly messing into an oversized diaper that is already thoroughly soaked... Man, I can't wait for Friday to come again.