American Mustelid Alpha - Promo
In December 2019, I was living in Milan and about to end my stint as question writer for a new quiz show that was about to air over the Christmas holidays. As a bit of a pastime, right as I breathed the atmosphere of television studios literally every other day, I started conceiving a reality TV competition of my own - a show where athletic-oriented people of all walks of life took each other on in order to crown a new model of dominant yet non-toxic masculinity. And of course I quickly decided all competitors should be mustelids, because I love mustelids, I feel they're vastly underappreciated and I've always sorta juggled with the idea of turning a project of mine into a big landmark for the whole mustelid family in the fandom :|
Armed with this idea and a stack of characters I approached my friend Harlow (https://www.furaffinity.net/user/harlow), fully expecting him to shush me and this project to wane into oblivion before it literally began. What I did not expect was for him to love it enough to make it our biggest focus and drive through this COVID-ridden year, to the point of writing out about 10 episodes of 50 pages each, setting up a whole Excel sheet to simulate our challenges, commissioning a stack of art and doing more world-building than we know what to do with :)
Obviously, as with any real life TV production worth its salt, this project had its fair share of setbacks. We basically had to learn from scratch how to tackle a four-pawed writing project in a writing style quite unparalleled in the furry fandom (at least that we know of), since it features confessionals like a real TV show would - as well as external POVs which combine standard prose with what is almost a script. We never really had a regular routine, but rather fell into HUGE bursts of creativity followed by prolonged lulls. I think we're more surprised than anyone that we've spent a whole year on this and we managed to not grow fed up with this midway.
But now, about a year after the start of this whole deal, we've managed to bring this monster to completion. And we literally can't wait to show you what we got in store!
The story will be released in a serial format. Starting late December, we'll submit a new chapter each week until all 10 "episodes" are out. If you're into a) reality TV, b) mustelids, c) big male hunks, d) action-filled challenges, e) slice-of-life character interactions or f) all of the above, this is definitely gonna be your thing. But even if you don't check some or all of those boxes, I think we made sure to make it interesting and accessible for pretty much everyone out there, so stay around and check our joint account HeadQuarters (https://headquarters.sofurry.com/) where all the chapters and the art will be posted!
The AMAZING cover art for this was drawn by Crocdragon (https://www.furaffinity.net/user/crocdragon89/), with impagination, lettering and logo-ing (<3) done by yours truly.
American Mustelid Alpha is the brainchild of Qovapryi and Harlow. Ludwig Logemann and all other mentioned characters belong to them both.
Across the centuries, mustelids have proven themselves time after time as some of the fiercest, most dominant creatures on the planet, with an innate inner call to establish themselves as superior among their brethren.
Members of this family have perfected this concept since their beginning of evolution as ferals. Honey badgers can fend off a whole pride of lions. Wolverines can smell their prey from 20 feet under the snow. Weasels can boast the strongest jaws of any predator in North America. Otters can bag foes as big as an alligator for lunch, and so on.
It's only natural that some vestige of that feral heritage keeps persisting nowadays in their anthropomorphic counterpart. Ever since the advent of modern civilization, mustelids have gotten known for bringing that spark of domination in every facet of daily life. Be it physical or mental, athletic or academic, mustelids all around have collectively sought to grasp every chance to raise the bar and show their peers how it should be done.
Now, a whole new experience is about to put that to the test. We searched all across the United States for the toughest, gnarliest everyday mustelids there are, leaving no stone unturned in trying to represent every side and feature of this fierce family. Forty-five of them were chosen and invited to compete in what's about to become the greatest throwdown ever seen on national TV.
_A rabbit casting associate lets out a big smile as she looks into the screen of her office PC. "You have been cast on American Mustelid Alpha!"
~Chayne, 28, Beech Marten, Bartender
A blonde-furred marten stares agape at his laptop, standing from his chair in a jolt of excitement as the realization kicks in. "You gotta be freaking kidding me!" he laughs, jumping in one spot. "Hell no, yes?!"
"You're like, bright red right now!" she smiles.
"I know, shut up!" the blonde marten laughs. "How much time do I get to pack?"
~James Sh., 23, American Badger, Pharmacy Technician
"Oh have I?" A bulky badger wearing a white lab coat raises a brow in surprise, looking intently at the screen of his smartphone as he's clearly been caught in the middle of his duty. "Can do, ma'am!"
~Casey, 45, Northern American River Otter, U.S. Army Sergeant
The grayish, middle-aged lutrine's jaw drops as he shakes his head, visibly speechless. "You're gonna make this old seadog's entire year, you know?" He turns towards the back of his living room, where two teenage otters are doing their homework. "Garry, Thatch, you heard that? I'm in!" he yells._
~Dalton, 22, Zorilla, College Football Player
"What the heck?" A sweaty zorilla wearing a skull cap stares back at the lady, a few teammates huddled around his phone as they come out from practice. "Guys, I'm gonna rep the Yellow Jackets on national TV!" he breaks into laughter, the rest of the team letting out a massive cheer and rah-rahing around the striped mustelid.
~Duke, 29, Hooded Skunk, Club Promoter
"WAIT WHAT?" The skunk hastily drops the weights and goes back to his phone, now focusing on the video call. "Say that again?" he says, his voice rising up an octave.
_"You made it! You're in AMA!"
"Well, you can see I'm coming ready, hah!" the skunk shoots a flex of his bicep at the casting associate._
These guys range in age from 19 to 45, cover pretty much all species and all walks of life, but they all have one major thing in common. They spent most of their life building a reputation as ambitious, leader-like, type A personalities who will stop at nothing in their quest to reach any goal they gave themselves.
Some of them are veterans of the armed forces. Others are amateur sportsmen, fitness enthusiasts, blue-collar workers, even nerds in disguise. They come in with different sets of skills and talent, but they all know their stuff when it comes to dominate whichever competition they got - and they all share the same drive to prove it on the biggest stage there is.
_~J.J., 25, Sea Otter, Construction Project Manager
An otter wearing a triathlon suit hoists himself out of a swimming pool, heavily panting as he drips all over. "Ah shit, my heart's racing out of the blue, I think I'm havin' an infarction..." he jokes as he takes his time. "800 free in 12:15? I broke that record today..." he grins, nodding to the camera.
~Alec, 30, Ferret, Bull Rider
A wiry ferret wearing cowboy boots and a wide-brimmed hat pats the flank of a huge, white and brown bull through the fences of its pen. "I've always said that if you're going to be the best, you have to ride the best," he says. "Life just ain't fun without a little risk, and I've chosen to turn that fun into my business."_
~Crispin, 29, European Otter, Bouncer
A heavily tattooed otter puts both paws on the side of a boxing ring, motioning to two teenagers - a gaur calf and an armadillo - to put on their gloves and jump on. "Kaysone, Ricky, up you go!" he says, before turning towards the camera. "Keeping these kids off the streets is my everyday mission. I want to give 'em something they can commit themselves to as much as I did."
~Travis, 29, American Badger, Truck Driver
A red Peterbilt 579 truck rolls across Interstate 85, a tall, heavily built badger at the driver's seat. "You see, dude, steerin' this beast ain't exactly a piece o' cake..." he tells his interlocutor, his muscular, furry arm flexing its grip on the steering wheel. "I know this ain't exactly glitzy, but y'know... serving America's heartland is what made me an Alpha."
However, American Mustelid Alpha will be unlike anything they have ever seen; true tests of physicality, endurance, and mental fortitude await these hopefuls.
All 45 will be brought here, to a military hangar in Central Florida, where they'll be whittled down to 12 over two days of grueling physical tests. Over the next month, every member of this lucky dozen'll have to go against one another, against teams of each other, against the elements, even against their own limits.
_~Raymond, 21, European Otter, Clerk
A lithe otter with long, sun-bleached hair looks around, the hotel waiting room filled with mustelids of different kinda, most showing very toned physiques. "This is like the freaking Full Metal Jacket barracks in here," the young lutrine laughs.
~Eddie, 32, Giant Otter, Demolition Foreman
A massive giant otter is sitting in front of a doctor in a lab coat about to administer a blood test. He doesn't even flinch as the needle pierces his forearm, him watching intently as his blood pours into a small vial. "You think I'd come all the way here to get spooked by this?" he can't help but chuckle at the camera as he leans back on the seat. "This is routine, baby, come on!"
~Noah, 19, Long-Tailed Weasel, Farmer
A young weasel lies on a first aid bed, looking over with mild curiosity as a medical assistant latches electrodes to his limbs and over the surface of his chest. "Oi, what's all that for?" he asks in a thick, southern drawl, getting up to his haunches as the assistant keeps fitting him for the conventional ECG test._
~Greasy Z, 29, Hog Badger, Automobile Mechanic
"They ain't ready, yanno..." a hog badger sporting a bright green mohawk chuckles as he looks over the cameraman's shoulder at the mustelids queueing to get their physicals over with. "Really, him? Bye. Him? Bye. And the one ova' there, is he on the wrong show or?" the hog snorts, amused with himself.
As for me? I'm Ludwig Logemann, I spent eleven years as an active duty Navy officer, specializing as a missile technician and combat expert. I'm the one assigned to put these guys through the paces, presiding over each challenge and ultimately discerning who got the ultimate package of factors that tells the world and everyone in it who truly is the Alpha around.
My main duty, though, is to lay down the rule of the land. An Alpha proves his prowess, earns the respect of his peers, and shows everyone how to be a leader. A true Alpha doesn't just boss others around and think he owns the place - whoever thinks they can are in for the rudest of awakenings.
To go far, our contestants will have to show growth, adaptability, and a level of self-awareness that goes past being condescending, or worse, downright arrogant toward their peers. The one who is able to dominate the fight against all his opponents and come out on top will win the coveted title of America's first Mustelid Alpha, and the $250,000 dollar prize that comes with it.
To all of these 45, welcome to the place where you will be tested like never before: Apopka, Florida. The quest to find the American Mustelid Alpha can finally begin.
Who's ready to dominate?