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A splash of water on his face helped dispel the demons.

The slight cold shock brought Jake back to full wakefulness, and away from the unpleasant and vivid nightmare that had awoken him. He supposed he should have counted himself lucky - it was only the first nightmare about the rape, and hopefully it would be the last, or at least in very limited company. It wasn't easy to get out of his head...but he was doing his best. He didn't want to let it rule over him, he'd heard about people who never could shake that sense of victimhood...not even that long ago, really.

He'd only spent a couple days in the hospital - luckily for him, he was mostly bruised, no broken bones and his throat wasn't damaged from the choking, and they'd been able to eventually determine that there was no serious internal injuries either. He'd had some bleeding but it had gone away without the need for more strenuous intervention, and he'd been told that he shouldn't have any more serious issues from what had happened. All in all, it could have been a lot worse...and it might very well have gotten there if Lyle hadn't saved him. How lucky he was that the fox had stepped in when he did...for the second time in this chaotic year.

He stepped out of the bathroom, and was suddenly happy that he'd gotten dressed - there was a group of people down the stairs, and they were all apparently waiting for him. Lyle, Rowan, Gylles, and Xander were expected, but there were also a couple surprises - Daimon and Benji were also present. It made him a bit red, this seemed like a lot of fuss...then again, he HAD just been through something pretty damn rough. "I hope I haven't been keeping you all waiting too long, I didn't realize there was a party going on."

"Well, we gotta celebrate you being here to talk to us," Rowan said warmly. "When Lyle told us what happened, I was so afraid of the worst...I'm glad to see you're up and about."

"Yeah, without limping even." Jake came down the steps, showing that he was telling the truth, though he was still stepping somewhat gingerly; the pain was mostly gone, just twinges here and there. "Wasn't so easy the first day, trying to take a few steps was such a trial."

"I just...I can't believe he would do something like that..." Benji looked almost as shaken as if he'd been the target. "Jerome...I know he was sorta aggressive, but I always thought he could rein it in when he needed to...I...I never thought that..."

"I wish I could say the same," Xander said sullenly. "He'd been getting more and more out of control, reacting more when anyone challenged him. I was sure it was only a matter of time before someone fell prey to him...but what can you do to stop it when they act that way?"

"Yeah...something was wrong with him, for sure," agreed Jake. "Uh...anyone know what state he's in?"

"They said he's in recovery, still under from the coma they put him in," replied Benji. "Probably several days more before they can wake him up and bring him to jail. I don't know what's going to happen from there, but I'm not sure I want to...I know Cayden already said he was cutting ties with him completely. I invited him, but...he...I don't know, I think maybe he's...ashamed or something..."

"I guess he thought it was all bluster until the bull went and did it," Gylles remarked, with no significant sympathy - he clearly remembered his encounter with the wolverine all too well. "Hopefully he'll think more about how HE acts, unless he wants to go down that road himself."

"I was always worried about him," Daimon said a bit darkly. "Something about him rubbed me the wrong way. But I figured that was just snap judgment, since I only sparingly saw him, and you liked him well enough...maybe I should've spoken up."

Jake shook his head as he walked over to the table to sit down. "No, it's...I'd already figured out he was bad news, the friendship had been over for the while. This was just...well, I'd say wrong place at wrong time, but there's an otter out there who probably thinks I'm a godsend, so...I dunno, as awful as it was, I'm not sure it would be worse than living with the guilt that I'd left them to suffer."

"Please tell me that wasn't your idea in this whole thing," said Gylles with a wince.

"Noooo way. My plan was to distract him and then get outta dodge. I just, uh, only got partway through it before it kinda blew up. Thank everything Lyle was able to come out and put an end to it."

"Not soon enough," sighed the fox. "If only I'd gotten out there sooner..."

"It was absolutely soon enough, because Jake's here with us," insisted Rowan. "As bad as it was, you saved him from so much worse." Jake saw Lyle smile weakly, but knew the fox probably wasn't convinced - he'd seen a rather dark aftermath before, it wouldn't surprise him if that was on his mind. Jake didn't want it to affect him that heavily going forward, but...well, the way his mind was, he knew there weren't any guarantees.

"I was really worried about what could have happened to you," said Xander heavily. "Remembering how uncomfortable you were when you, uh, helped me out a while back, and that wasn't even close to as intense..."

"It was bad...don't think I've hurt like that ever in my life. But honestly, if it hadn't been for that incident, it would have been so much worse. I think I avoided worse injuries because I at least had the barest idea how to try to relax for it...the choking, I think, was even worse than the violation, that was more prominent in the nightmare I just had."

"Oh, dear...if you're having nightmares, you probably want to see someone," suggested Daimon; the rex had a very concerned look on his face that Jake hadn't seen in a long time. "These things can stick with you, and the longer they go, the harder it can be to actually work them out."

"Yeah, maybe..." Jake wasn't entirely sure whether he wanted to do that, but maybe he'd have to just to put the rex at ease. "I mean, it was just one...for now, I guess."

"Just one is how it starts," Lyle said a bit sullenly. "And then before you know it, you get them almost every night."

Jake wasn't sure how to respond to that - nothing seemed like a good idea - so he was glad that Benji cut in before he was obligated to. "That's something that can be talked about later...we're here to make sure we celebrate that our good friend is still with is and wish him well. Positive vibes."

"That sounds like a good idea to me," agreed Gylles. "Let's bring things up a bit. We're glad you're here, you're safe, and you're at least not harmed bad enough in body to have it last your whole life. So let's toast to that, and to making your boss take it easy on you for a while."

"Hey, you don't have to make me do that," protested Daimon, even as he raised his glass to the toast. "Like I'd try to rush back my best employee after he's been through something like this."

Jake almost choked on his drink. "Best employee? Dude, I appreciate it, but you are TOTALLY underselling some of my co-workers. There are guys and gals there who do things that I couldn't figure out in a hundred years."

"Everyone is valuable, for sure, but you do things others can't, too. And you've been so reliable, you're the person I can count on if I need help. I mean, jeez, this whole year has been nuts to you, and you've still been putting in hours routinely when you've been able to. I sometimes worry that you try to push things too much, but I can't say I don't like having someone I can count on for just about anything in the office."

"Well, try to count on him a little less for a bit," remarked Xander.

"I'll muddle through somehow. We're at a slow period anyway, thankfully...the end of the year isn't a good time to do launches for most places."

"Good...then you'll have time to relax and maybe think about FoxSafe," said Rowan. "If you still want to...after what's happened, I'd understand if you wanted to stay a lot farther away from that-"

"Hell, no," Jake declared, cutting Rowan off. "No way...if anything it's even more important. I...look, it's not like I didn't think rape was bad before, but...feeling it makes you understand how bad it can really be. The thought of people having to fear that...EVER, much less multiple times a month or even week...makes my skin crawl more than it ever did before because now I KNOW what they're afraid of, more than just the name of it."

"What're you talking about?" asked Benji blankly.

"Ah, yeah, you weren't there...uh, this app idea I'm brainstorming, something to help, uh, foxes and others who're kinda more frequent targets for, uh, that sorta stuff, so they can find people who they can trust and don't have to be afraid of when they're on the road or in unfamiliar places. I mean, it's just the idea phase right now, but I figure if there's something like that out there then they'll be less likely to have to go through something they don't want to go through."

"Oh, wow...that's...I didn't realize that was such a big thing..."

"A lot of people don't, that's part of the problem," sighed Gylles. "They think just because it's not a daily occurrence doesn't mean it's not a serious issue, especially for those of us who can't help but hold our breaths every time we approach someone we don't know. But I think it's getting more recognized, at least...tough to have to talk about baby steps all the time. An app like that would be amazing...uh, what's with him?" The rabbit was looking at Daimon, who was rather frantically doing something on his phone, with a look in his eyes that Jake was plenty familiar with. Uh-oh...I think I may have unleashed the beast...

"You gotta be...how the hell does something like that not exist already?!" Daimon's expression had gotten intense, wide eyes keened in excitement. "That's a brilliant idea, it's got such enormous potential, I can't believe it's not been tapped into already! A filter for safe interaction, facilitating communication between vulnerable populations and allies, it wouldn't even have to be for a fee, this has Public Safety Grant written all over it!"

"Is he all right?" asked Benji nervously.

"Yeah...he's just hitting his zone," said Jake with a resigned smile and slight sigh. Daimon inspired was like an avalanche - you weren't stopping it, you were just riding it out. "At least he likes the idea."

"Logistics...lots of factors to cover, how to filter, how to process...data storage, a dedicated database...ah! A threat warning system! Not just who and where to go to, but who and where to avoid at all costs, improving safety by identifying areas of risk! I'm going to have to get a team together...Jake, this was your idea, I think this is a fantastic opportunity for you to take on a team lead role! You already have insights some of the rest of us don't on this matter, and once the details get hashed out-"

"Ex-CUSE me, mister dino business man!" Rowan cut in rather loudly. "Were we not JUST talking about going easy on Jake for a while?!"

That seemed to rattle Daimon out of his fugue-like state. "Ah! Y-yes...that is VERY true...ah-heh, sorry, I, uh, may have gotten a little caught up in that...a-hem, well, I still think it would be a good chance for you to try out a leadership role, but, ah, we'll wait until the new year to discuss those matters, I'm sure it could use some brainstorming time before we charge ahead anyway!"

Jake knew better than to think that that was anything but a temporary reprieve. Being more than a cog in the machine wasn't really his comfort zone...but, well, he DID want to try to realize this, and this seemed like a very good way to do so. Maybe it would be a good idea to get used to it, at least for a little while. "Sure, there's lots to think about. Right now, though, I just wanna relax with some friends."

"Right, right. I suppose it's good for me to relax here and there, too. Someone might have to remind me how to do that, it's never been my strong suit."

"Shit, really? You'd never be able to tell!" Gylles's very blatantly sarcastic observation brought a bunch of laughter with it, breaking the mood and molding it back to something more passive as they continued on.

---

The seven of them spent the afternoon in a much more relaxed state, focusing more on enjoying each other's presence, with some catching up and some getting to know each other. It was Daimon's first time meeting Lyle, though not their first time speaking - Jake was only now just learning how Lyle had found out about his medication all those months ago, maybe Lyle had mentioned it but he hadn't really caught that. Perhaps because of this, Lyle wasn't as nervous towards him as with most new faces - though still nervous, because Daimon was a rather imposing presence physically and emotionally. But he seemed to relax relatively quickly over the afternoon, perhaps in part because Daimon was very clearly not interested in males in any way, shape, or form. That wasn't always a guarantee even when someone professed straightness - lots of guys seemed to have 'exceptions', but Daimon didn't give the vibe that he did.

For Daimon it was mostly unknowns, but he wasn't the only one - Benji didn't know half the group at all, either, and he'd only had the one encounter with Lyle which hadn't exactly gone great. Jake could tell he was anxious about all the new faces - not entirely surprising, Benji's neurotic nature was far from an unknown to him. But he seemed more preoccupied than usual, and at first Jake wasn't really cottoning onto why that might be...until it struck him that his mind might be on the friends that no longer were more than the ones that were around.

Xander seemed to pick up on something as well, and managed to arrange it so the three of them were able to break away for a bit in the kitchen. "Hey, are you all right? You seem more, uh, twitchy than usual in there."

"Ah...it's...uhm..."

"Benji, I've known you for a long time," said Jake. "So I swear if you try to say it's nothing..."

"It's...it's not nothing..." That seemed to be enough to get the cheetah's thin defenses to crumble. "I just...I feel so horrible about everything..."

Xander gave a little shrug. "Dude...I know you didn't think Jerome was going to do something like that-"

"It's not just that! It's...all of this, the way I acted, or didn't act...I was..." Benji's eyes got a little watery. "God, I'm so weak and trashy...I couldn't stand up to them...I just...I wanted everything to be back to how it was...even when I knew it couldn't be, I just...I couldn't, I couldn't choose...no, I just...I didn't want to choose, didn't want to have to accept that things weren't going to be the way they were, ever again. Everything you said, I knew you were right, and...and I couldn't be the better person...I'm a horrible friend, I treated you guys like crap for something you were totally in the right about, just because I was a coward..."

"Oh, jeez, dude..." Jake pulled Benji close, wrapping his arms around the quivering cheetah. "I'm not judging you...you were pulled between a bunch of friends, and, hell, I didn't know how to approach it either, I was just...kinda flying by the seat of my pants. I knew they were wrong too, and yet I spent a bunch of time trying to make it work anyway before giving up...and you were even closer to Jerome and Cayden than I was, so I can't imagine how that must've been eating you up. No one wants to think their friends are garbage people."

"Still...I...I should have supported you. Maybe I could've...maybe if they'd been outnumbered..."

"I'm not sure it would have mattered much," said Xander, joining the two in a group hug. "Some people are gonna think they're right no matter how many people say they're wrong. But, look, I'm not gonna forget how you kept inviting me to hang out with you and your friends even though everyone else found me weird. I'm not gonna forget that you let Jake live with you for years when he was in his worst state. You're a good guy at heart, and...well, you want to think the best of everyone. That's admirable...just, not always vindicated."

"A lot's changed over this past year," added Jake. "But you're still one of the best people I've ever known, Benji. I don't want you ever forgetting that. And I think with those two out...maybe thing's'll be better. You know, these guys, they're pretty cool, and I think they'd put a lot less pressure on you."

"Would they even want me around? Since I was friends with Jerome..."

"So was I. So was Xander. And we're welcome. I guess...it might take a bit for them to be totally comfortable that you don't think like he did, or anything close. But it might be easier to, well, unlearn that stuff if you hang around them, too."

Hesitantly, Benji nodded. "I...I want to try, at least. I...don't feel like I've been a good person, towards people like them..."

"They always tell me, some of their most valued allies are the ones who came around. I think they'll think the same of you."

"That, and you're about as non-threatening as they come," added Xander. "Even Lyle said he wasn't really worried about you doing anything to him when you came around the first time, like you looked like you wanted to bolt out of there at the first opportunity. I think they'll have no problem giving you a chance."

"O-okay...thank you. you guys..." Benji hugged them tighter, something that really warmed Jake's heart. Of all of them, the thought of losing Benji had hurt the most...now it was another friend he could take with him in his new outlook on life, one who he knew would become as empathetic and supportive of them as one could hope, especially without the subversive influences coloring his life. This was probably a much better crowd for a nervous wreck of a cheetah, anyway, maybe he'd find some of the support he'd never really had as well. And the more he could hold onto the good things, pull them away from the anchor that was the bull, the better everything would be.

---

It was an enormous decision. Lyle felt a good bit of anxiety even just making it. Even though he really, really wanted to make it...well, nothing good was ever easy, right? And this was probably about as far from easy as it got, so it had to be REALLY good. Right?

But he knew he wasn't going to be able to handle it alone. He needed Jake...boy, had he been saying those words to himself a lot, lately.

Lyle had sort of dawdled on approaching him, worried that he might be putting too much pressure on the wolf after his ordeal. Even though Jake seemed fine for the most part, he could tell that his roommate wasn't entirely over things, he'd seemed a bit more stressed out and maybe sad, maybe related to what he'd said about his condition affecting his mood in tough times...which made Lyle feel all the more guilty that he was still having erotic fantasies about him. That seemed both rude and potentially triggering, and he was trying to keep himself from letting on that he was thinking like that...but it was hard when his brain knew what it wanted. But if he delayed too long, the pressure might be even worse, so he finally managed to suck it up and get to it.

Jake was sitting on the couch, watching a show that Lyle didn't really have any interest in. The wolf had gotten significantly better physically as well, but still professed some soreness and tenderness if he moved around too much, so he'd been at the TV more than usual lately. Usually with his laptop with him so he could be working as well, but it was the weekend so there was no other distraction to be had. "Uh, Jake? Do you, uh...do you mind if we have a conversation?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure..." Jake sounded oddly apprehensive...Lyle couldn't imagine why, he was sure Jake had no idea what he was about to ask. He paused the playback and shifted to look at him. "What's up?"

"Ah...well, uh..." Curse his tongue, being tied at a moment like this. "I wanted, uhm, to ask you something..."

Jake let out a slight sigh. "I guess I kinda saw this coming."

"Huh?"

"It's not a problem. I mean, after everything...I figured you'd probably want the space back to yourself."

Lyle blinked. "Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

Jake paused, looking a bit confused. "You're...not asking me to move out?"

"What?! No! God, no!" The fox couldn't have been more shocked - when had he ever insinuated that? Well, when had he insinuated that in the last half a year, at least? "You thought I was gonna kick you out? After...after what just happened?"

"It wasn't related to that!" protested Jake. "I just thought you were thinking about that before, and you...well, you didn't want to bring it up on account of, you know..."

"Oh, no no no, not even a little bit! God, I want MORE of you, not less! What was I doing that made you think that? I have no idea!"

"Oh, jeez, I'm sorry, I must've just really misinterpreted what I was seeing..." Jake trailed off. "Wait...uh, what do you mean by 'more' of me?"

Lyle recoiled a bit, his slip of tongue causing his face to start burning with embarrassment. "Oh, god...did I really just say that? Oh, jeez, oh hell..."

Jake rose from his seat, a bit slowly but with clear concern. "Lyle? Is something wrong?"

"Nnnn...I don't...really wanna say..."

"You can talk to me, Lyle, it's fine. I'm not gonna be angry with you, I promise. Not even sure what I'd be angry about, honestly, if you're confirming I've got a place to stay for the foreseeable future."

If only Lyle could be so confident. But the proverbial cat was out of the bag, and he knew he couldn't undo it...Jake was going to be wondering until Lyle finally broke down. There was really no point in hiding it anymore. "Okay...well...it's...it is about you...just...not...the way you think. It's...well...I've...mmnh...I've been...thinking about you. Lately. In...ways."

"I...don't think I understand?"

Probably because Lyle was having a brain shock trying to get it out. "It's...I've been...thinking about you...sexually.

Jake clearly understood that, with his double-take. "You...you have?"

Swallowing hard, Lyle nodded. "I...it started...a few months ago. I...I don't...really know why. I just...it...it started...coming into my head...and I...well, I thought...I felt like...well, I...d-desired you. Not...not desired, desire. It's definitely still there, more than...more than ever. And I, uhm...I...I wasn't sure...how to say it, or whether I should, and...well, maybe that's what you were, you were seeing maybe. I...I was...the d-day you were...it happened...I...I was...god, I...I shouldn't..."

He didn't have to, Jake put it together. "You...you were gonna ask me?"

"Stupid, stupid...I shouldn't have said anything..."

"Hey, now, it's fine-"

"No, it's not! You just...you just went through something awful! You're still hurting, you're still feeling it, and it's not...it's not right for me to...to be just...wanting you like that! It's just...it's so selfish and..." Lyle's halting rant was suddenly cut off as he felt Jake's arms wrap around him and pull him close. Almost on reflex he returned the embrace, the shaking in his body subsiding slowly.

"Hey...it's okay. I'm not...well, I'm not angry or upset or anything, for sure. Just because I, uh, had that...incident doesn't mean I'm not...wanting any attention ever, I guess. Though I guess I can see why you thought I might not like that. But it's fine...I just...never realized you might actually be thinking that way...I guess I got so used to you not wanting sex that it didn't occur to me that that might change."

"I feel so stupid..." the fox mumbled in deep embarrassment. "Making you think I wanted you out when I want you...well...in. In me."

"I got that," Jake said with a little snicker. "It's not all on you, I didn't say anything either, I probably should have spoken up when I noticed. I guess I got a little bit wrapped up in my project. But I guess there's no sense dwelling on that...now I know better."

"You...really aren't bothered by it? After what happened..."

The wolf shook his head. "I...don't know how easy it's going to be, no, but...I don't want that hanging over me forever. I have enough I can't escape, I don't want that to be joining the crowd. Something that helps me get over it...I think I'd kinda like that."

Somehow, Lyle didn't catch the implication immediately...when he did, his face burned even hotter. "I...Jake...I guess...I should've expected you'd...well...I thought you might be angry...maybe think that I was leading you on or something..."

"Nah...I get it. You wouldn't have seen me as...well, something desirable before. But...I don't want you to think it's just all about that, either."

Now it was Lyle's turn for confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well...I've been kinda holding something back, too. You know...I don't have to tell you I think you're attractive, I'm sure. But...well, I've been having feelings for you, too. Not like sexual feelings, real feelings..." Jake paused, frowning a bit. "That...sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, sexual feelings are real feelings too...but, you know...I mean...THOSE kinds of feelings. I guess...you could call it romantic."

"You...you have?"

"Yeah...I mean, I guess? I guess I kind of assume that's it...I've never really had romantic feelings like that, so it's a little bit guessing, but that's what I think it is. Especially because it's...well, it makes me want to be around you for you, not just because you're, you know, sexy." As if Lyle needed more to make his face go red - did he have any blood left elsewhere in his body? "I like you a lot, Lyle...maybe...well, I don't want to rush things. I mean, I don't know how you feel, really...if it's not anything that deep with you, I don't want to force that on you any more than I'd want to force anything physical on you. But if you feel similarly...well, I'd like to make you feel happy, but not just with sex."

Lyle felt himself tearing up a bit, and clung hard to Jake. "I...I think...I think I couldn't even...think about sex with you...if I didn't feel all sorts of other things for you. It's...you're...my fantasies...always had...someone caring and kind and...gentle and all that...and...well...you started to fill them..."

"Ah...well, I guess I never really knew...but...well, we should talk more on this, I think, after we've had a bit of time to process what we just learned. I think I'd like to know a bit more, so...well, I can do everything right..."

Pulling away, Lyle nodded, looking up at Jake with a slightly teary smile. "Yeah...I think I...I need a bit to recover from all that kinda, uhm, spilling out suddenly. But...thank you, Jake...I'm...I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I...well, I'm glad it...it turned out well."

"Same here," replied Jake with a warm smile. "Don't be in any rush, take all the time you need to collect yourself...I guess we'll have a good bit of time to figure things out."

Lyle nodded again, taking a deep breath and trying to steady his emotions. This was not at all how he would have expected things to all come out...but not only was Jake not angry, it turned out he cared for Lyle on a deeper level, something the fox hadn't even really considered. What might that mean for how things went down in the end? He truly felt like he wouldn't even be thinking about sex without the prospect of romance...which had him wondering how he hadn't cottoned on to the idea that the romance might be mutual. Wouldn't that be the best case scenario? Or maybe that was his own anxiety getting in the way, making it hard for him to process other people seeing him as more than a piece of meat...since he was so afraid of that...maybe he'd started to see himself that way, too. No, it had to be more than just sex...it had to be love. That was what he needed...and maybe that was what he'd found...

"Ah! Lyle!" The fox started before he got back to his room, turning around rapidly to see Jake looking at him. "That...that was definitely not what you came out here to talk about. You had something else you wanted to say to me!"

"Oh!" In all that rush of revelation and emotion, he'd almost completely forgotten his original purpose in approaching Jake in the first place! It seemed like maybe he had a lot to process now...but that would just be another excuse to put it off. And now, more than ever, it seemed like he had to push forward. So he composed himself and headed back over to the wolf, determined not to get sidetracked this time.

---

He had made it this far. The hour-and-a-half long drive was finished, and he was mere steps away from the doorway. And yet those last steps felt like the hardest part. "Jake...I..."

"It's okay. You're nervous, that's understandable. But you've got this." The wolf's reassuring voice helped a bit, but his anxiety wasn't totally quelled...but then again, Lyle figured, if it had been, would this really have been the test he felt it was?

The hardest part was not knowing what was going to happen. He could have done all this just for it to blow up in his face and make him a miserable, blubbering wreck. He didn't want that to be the case, but how could he control it? And if there was one thing he'd learned lately, it was that the realization of how little control he'd had over just himself, much less anything else, was not a comforting thing.

But...he had to try. It meant too much to him not to.

Swallowing hard, he stepped up the walkway towards the house. It was a fairly nondescript place, faded yellow paint and a dark roof, moderately-sized, modest but comfortable. At least, it was so by appearances...Lyle wasn't so sure he'd think of it that way by what it was doing to him. But he nonetheless closed the gap, trying to force himself not to turn back. Even if he did, Jake was there, and would stop him, just like he'd asked...but he really wanted to get through it without cracking.

He did. It was just the door in front of him now. With a shaky hand, he reached up, and knocked, the first couple raps tentative and then getting a bit more determined. Heart pounding in his chest as he waited, chaotic emotions swirling through his gut. He had left things to chance for one of the very few times in his life...would it pay off?

The door opened, startling him. Standing in the doorway was an older fox woman, slightly shorter than Lyle, dressed very plainly with the look of being in the middle of cooking. Her face had a tired countenance, but her expression was anything but, wearing a look of shock and disbelief as she stood in stunned silence.

With the driest throat he'd ever had, Lyle swallowed and spoke shakily. "H-hi...mom..."

Things seemed to freeze for a moment...and then, like a floodgate, it all broke through. She almost fell towards him, wrapping her arms around Lyle in a tight embrace, bursting into long, joyous sobs as she rocked against him. It set Lyle himself off, the blessed lifting of that horrid weight allowing his own tears to flow as he hugged her tight for the first time in years.

---

Recollection Day. The last formal holiday of the year, a day to spend with loved ones and remember the year gone by, and to celebrate togetherness and hope. For many people, it was considered the most important holiday of the year, because it meant that they had made it through whatever life had thrown at them. Jake had never put much stock in it in his youth, but now that he was older, it was important to him, too. And this year's installment felt especially important to him - a chance to remind himself of what he had been, and what he had become.

But it was also way more than that, as he sat and listened to the reunion between Lyle and his folks. It was about coming together with others...and he'd scarcely come together with anyone like he was today. After all, 'family' had been a rather missing factor in his life for several years now, and even when it hadn't been, he hadn't truly appreciated what days like today were supposed to be about.

Lyle had introduced him to his parents - his father Ken and mother Laura. Nathan was there, as well, and clearly had not expected them any more than the parents. He'd discussed calling ahead with Lyle, but the fox had held back, fearing that he wouldn't be able to follow through and didn't want to get their hopes up if he couldn't. As they day had approached, even the hour, Jake had come to understand why; he'd needed to support Lyle every step of the way, the fox's anxiety trying to menace him as he made what he felt was an important step in his life. He'd confided to Jake what he'd been afraid of, but Jake was certain that there would only be joy at his appearance, and he'd been proven quite right.

What he hadn't expected was the warm reception they had for Jake. His first time meeting him, but they were as welcoming to him as if he'd been part of their family for years. Maybe his status was worth a bit of that, or maybe they had some inkling of what he'd been doing for Lyle, or maybe they were just naturally that way, but Jake hadn't felt as much at home in a place that wasn't his home since his mother's passing. He was almost worried it would take too much away from Lyle's reunion, but Lyle didn't seem to mind at all - maybe it helped ease the pressure to have not all the attention on him.

But there was plenty of it for Lyle - especially when he started talking.

He wasn't sure Lyle would want to talk about everything he felt...well, whether he did or not, it seemed to happen, and went well beyond what Jake could ever have imagined. He listened with muted shock as the fox poured his heart out, trying to keep in the background as best he could. The stunning admissions of why he'd really been avoiding them, the fear and the guilt that had plagued him endlessly for years, all stemming back from that tragic day that changed their lives forever, and what it had robbed him of for so long...even as Jake had known there were issues, he'd never known just how deep and ghastly they were. It was heartwrenching to listen to, but Jake couldn't have conceived of trying to avoid it - it was just as important for him to hear as anyone, he felt, even if he wasn't the focal point of all this.

After all, it was worth remembering - he could very well have been the one to break the fox.

There were a lot of tears, and a lot of hugs. Lyle made it overwhelmingly clear that none of it had been their fault, that his own mind had been the poison that turned him that way. Both parents, and Nathan as well, were horrified to hear about what Lyle had been suffocating under, but never once chided him for running or lamented the lost years with him. Jake started to realize as he observed what was happening...the true beginning of healing. Kind and friendly as they were, the wolf could clearly sense the undercurrent of sadness they'd been living under - they had never really started to heal, certainly it seemed to line up with the impression he'd gotten from Nathan's story to him months back. They had endured so much, none of it deserved, all of it thrust onto them by nothing more than a simple stereotype...they, too, had carried fear and guilt with them all this time, equally undeserved, but unable to be shaken. By finally speaking it aloud, Lyle had damaged it in all of them, giving the rest of them an opportunity to likewise release some of that burden. Unquestionably, it would not be the end of it, this was far too great and long a trauma to be rid of in one night...but for once, the road was open.

...Maybe I need to remember that for myself, as well. Maybe I shouldn't just assume I can...get over what happened to me. Trying to just get past it and move on for nothing, I guess it doesn't really work...well, maybe some people can do it, but why should I assume I'm one of them?

With everything out in the open, Jake had wondered if they'd feel awkward around him, but if anything they only got more warm towards him. Dinner was a very pleasant affair, Jake getting some chances to talk to them about himself and learn more about them. The only awkwardness was when he had to confess that he knew about what had happened to them, which they clearly felt a bit embarrassed about. But Jake had helped diffuse that by recounting his own recent trauma and how it had made him feel, as well as his own flawed history with his condition and his attitudes, putting them all on the same page. He wanted them more than anything to never feel judged by him, even inadvertently...and likewise, despite all his own problems, he never felt they passed judgment on him, even where it would be warranted. The more it went on, the more he almost felt like they had made him part of the family...maybe part of it was just pining for something like that, but it was hard not to feel like they cared about him that deeply.

Towards the end of the visit, he was beckoned by Nathan into one of the bedrooms...where he was unexpectedly ambushed with an embrace that rivaled Laura's to Lyle at his first appearance. "You...are one of the best people I've ever known in my life. Lyle...I can see the change in him. You've saved him."

Jake felt himself flush. "Ah...I mean...well, I...I still have some catching up to do, since he's saved me twice over already."

"I never thought I'd see Lyle here again in my life. That he's here with us today...that he would be able to...to share all those things he did with us...it's like a miracle." Nathan looked up at him, somewhat teary-eyed. "For the first time in so long...I felt like he could be happy. Like WE could be happy."

Jake wasn't entirely sure how to respond - what did one say to such a momentous declaration? Eventually he managed to conjure up something: "Well, I...I hope you can be. I hope this is, uh...just the start of it, not just a moment, or something that...doesn't go further."

"I know. It's just the start, but...it's hope. When you don't have that, you don't have a start, you can't even think about a start. It means so much, just that little thing that tells you that it CAN be better. Not just could...could just means there's something out there that's better, not that you can ever reach it. Can means it's there and you can get there. For a long time, I don't think any of us really believed in that can...but if Lyle can, then, well, there's no reason we can't."

"I see. Yeah, I think it's possible, seeing him overcome some of his anxieties like this...and, I guess, whatever I can do to help...your folks are so sweet, I want to see them get happier as well."

"You're a beautiful person, Jake. I truly mean that. It means so much seeing you care about all of us." Nathan reached up and stroked the wolf's face. "But...care about you, too. I could hear it in your voice as you were talking about what happened to you. I know what it's like...I've been there, too."

Jake drew in a breath slowly. "Ah...y-yeah...you have been, haven't you? Uh, I hope not, uh, since that time, at least..."

"I can't say I always wanted it enthusiastically. Even now, when it's a job, well, you don't always get the best out of it...sometimes you go through the motions just to get what you came for. But it's never been like that time, no...I guess, in a way, it's empowering, to take the course I did. Take what control you can, and it makes the times where it slips out of your grasp less impactful...Mom and Dad didn't really have that, it hurts them more. But now...well, now that it feels like there's hope...it feels like there's more reason to go further than that, you know? And...well, I hope you think about that, too. Because there's more to recovery than just getting control back...it's what you do with it."

Maybe it was important to hear that from Nathan in particular, because all of a sudden Jake felt it fiercer than he had before. He held the fox tight, feeling his eyes misting over as he worked to rein it in. "Thank you...I...I think you're right. And I think there's a lot more for me to think about, too..."

"Don't be afraid to ask for a sympathetic ear, hun. Healing happens faster together."

Jake nodded, choked up a bit. That sounded nice...after all, he'd brought people into Lyle's life to help him, it only made sense that the same would be true for him. And it would be a good excuse to keep close to Lyle's family...one that felt more like one to him than just about anything he'd had in years. That wasn't something he wanted to let go of so quickly, either.

---

Night had fallen over Pawnea, but things were not exactly quiet. Celebrations abounded for Year's End - the clock was ticking away, the last minutes of the year ebbing inevitably into the new one. There would be stories all over of who had a great year, who had a lousy one, and whose were indistinguishable from the last. And they would be counting down the final seconds to welcome in the new one, with hopes that it would be as good or better than the last.

For some, though, the celebrations were not exactly high-energy. For Jake and Lyle, enough had happened over the course of the year - a quiet night in was better. Which wasn't to say they didn't have something special planned...

"You wrote yours down?" the fox asked curiously, looking at the paper under the wolf's hand.

"Yeah. I started doing that a few years back, writing it down then pinning it somewhere where I could see it. Easier to remember the things you want to do to make the next year better when you're reminded of them a lot."

"Huh, I never thought of that...well, I guess I never really took it seriously, either. Honestly was always more just...afraid that it would be worse, not really ever hoping it would be better."

Jake nodded in commiseration. "I get that. After Mom died, I pretty much didn't even think about it for a while, except when Benji kinda poked me to, but then I'd pretty much forget a few days in. I don't think any of it was ever really that meaningful then anyway. But...this year, it was so easy to come up with three things, it kinda was a little unnerving."

Lyle gave a weak smile. "Same here...but, well, there's a lot to work on for me."

"We're pretty much in agreement on the first thing, right?"

"Yeah. Therapy. Find someone who'll talk to us, help us work through our issues. Not to downplay what happened, but I think they'll have an easier time with you than with me...I'm kind of a basket case."

"That makes sense. My incident happened pretty recently, it hasn't really had time to build up...yours has been piling up for years. But, I think it's good for me to put it down rather than pretend it's just going to go away...I kind of already have that issue with one part of my life, and that approach has never worked."

"And I'm feeling like I'm asking so much of someone to help me out with something like this..." Lyle sighed a bit. "But...things have changed. I can't just...treat it like something to live with anymore. I finally got some real control back, if I stop now it'll just be taken away from me again. And...I don't want to live that way anymore."

"It might be a lot, but I think whoever gets you, they're going to think about you for years as their shining example of what they can do for someone," Jake assured him.

Lyle snorted a bit. "I know that was meant to be nice, but I can't help but feel like it's saying 'look at how well I did with this completely hopeless case'!"

"Oh, jeez, that was NOT what I was going for at all!"

"I know. It's fine, anyway...no sense pretending there's not a boatload of baggage, anyway. So, uh, what was your second?"

"Ah, well, the app, basically. Maybe it's ambitious to say done in a year, but...I guess it's more, you know, taking on the role and the energy and making sure I keep doing the right thing. It's kind of my ongoing penance for the way I was, a reminder of how far I've come and not to let myself slip away from that."

"I'm sure you'll be good for it. I mean, after how much you've changed already, and these months where I've had so much trust for you, and it's always been rewarded. And I guess that works well with my second thing...to try to build some trust in others. Especially our friends, since, well, they're friends, but also with other people. I want to try not to be so jumpy when I see a stranger and have no real reason to be afraid of them...like, maybe some of them have that vibe, but most don't, I just...assume they're trouble because I've just, well, been living in fear."

"That's really good. I know you're already starting on that path, and you've seemed really happy when you don't seem afraid. Uhm...my third goal is...I guess, mentorship. I wanna help some other people be 'safe' for those vulnerable phenos. I guess Benji kinda inspired this one, I told him I'd work with him on helping him see things differently...and I think maybe we can find a few others around who can help. The more of them there are, the less likely they're going to run into a bad one, right? And I think that's another way I can help, because even when we have the app, we need people we can fill it with...it doesn't fix things on its own, it needs people."

"Yeah, that's true. Gotta have safe people to find people."

"What's your third?" Jake had a guess - something about reconnecting with his family or something along those lines - but Lyle's slightly embarrassed smile was the only warning of how off he was.

"Ah...to get myself a home gym. I'm STUPID out of shape, I really need to fix that."

"R-really? I, uh, I hadn't really noticed that..."

"Don't give me that. There's no way you haven't heard me panting after carrying in groceries."

"Well, uh...maybe a little...sorry, I just, uh, thought you were going a different direction with your last one."

Lyle cocked his head in confusion, but the likely idea came to him pretty quickly. "Oh...well, THAT...I think I consider reconnecting with my family to be part of the therapy thing. I mean...that guilt and fear, that's all part of that baggage. It was never really something I wanted, really...I just couldn't handle it. If I get better, I'll be able to handle it. But, I'm...I'm going to, anyway. It's gonna take time before things are...totally better. But...they're better already. Because, I feel like I can go over there now and I won't be always thinking about...that."

Jake nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right...maybe exercising isn't a bad idea for me, either. Especially if I'm developing this habit of confronting angry guys who are way bigger than me."

"Uh, yeah...that seems like maybe something you should consider stopping."

"That, too. But yeah...I'm happy with this list. If I stick to it, next year will be better than this one was. All in all, even with what's happened...I think it was a good year. It changed me for the better...what more can you really ask for?"

"Yeah...it definitely was," agreed Lyle. "Despite the lows, I...I gained some things I never had before. I finally stood up to my demons. And if I do what I'm telling myself to do, then...they'll get weaker, and I'll get stronger. And that's what you always want to happen, right?"

"Of course." Jake set down his pencil and pushed the paper aside for the moment. "Well...so...you still want to do this?"

"Ah..." Lyle reddened a bit under his fur, but he nodded. "Yes...I do. I...I think...I'm ready. That is, if you are, too."

"Well...I think I am. But, if something happens that isn't what either of us want...you can say it's over if you want, and I will, too, if it's me. Just because we decided doesn't mean we can't un-decide when we want."

"Ye-ah....I'll, I'll make sure I'm clear about it if I can't handle it. But...I still want to try."

"All right, then...let's try."

---

Jake couldn't remember ever being so nervous about an imminent sexual encounter. Not even the first time he'd ever done it, when he really had no idea what he was doing, when he was just a naïve teenager who had heard of this awesome thing that he wasn't supposed to be doing yet, fumbling and awkward as it was, it didn't filling him with as much anxious anticipation as what he was about to do right now.

Then again, that put him on the same level as Lyle, so perhaps it was fair.

Lyle had insisted they use Jake's room for this - it was less familiar and thus had less baggage than his own room, and for something like this familiarity was NOT exactly comfort. Jake didn't have the same thing to worry about, so it was easy enough to agree...it would be nice having him in there for reasons other than tending to his unwell self. Though perhaps a case could be made that that was still the case in a way...

Lyle remained somewhat awkward as he disrobed; Jake had already done so, but he was slower to get to that, especially with the wolf's eyes on him. At the same time, he didn't want to ask Jake to look away...after all, he'd have to see him unclothed at some point during this, wouldn't he? Unless he didn't take his off at all, but he kind of thought that would be even more awkward...plus, he kind of wanted to feel Jake's fur against his. Despite the hesitations, he found himself soon clad in nothing but his orange fur, sheath exposed to someone else for the first time in his adult life. And he wasn't bursting into flame, so that seemed to count as a win.

Jake was simply laying back, not wanting to push Lyle any faster than the fox wanted to go. His own nerves aside, he was the experienced one, and though it had been a long while since he'd been with someone INexperienced, he hadn't forgotten the rule he'd learned - let a newer person dictate the pace. You could never go too fast for them if they were the one choosing the speed. And it wasn't like he didn't want to savor it a bit anyway. Seeing the fox step towards him tentatively, he couldn't help but think that Lyle was very cute - that bushy tail swaying nervously behind him, that expression that betrayed the blush he had even if his fur hid it, the lightly strained smile of someone who had his reluctance but knew what he wanted. It made Jake want to curl up around him and hold him tight in a protective ball...though, really, he wasn't so sure who the main protector was here.

Lyle reached the bed, looking up and down at Jake's body. His face burned looking at the nude wolf...it wasn't like the pictures, to be sure, Jake wasn't particularly muscular or sculpted, but something about him being real made it better than those idealized forms. Maybe because he'd spent so much time wishing for real... "Ah...what...how...uh...what should we...do first?"

"Well...what do you want to do?"

Lyle hesitated. He WANTED a lot...and wasn't sure whether he'd actually be able to do it all at once. It was one thing imagining things, other actually doing them...he wasn't sure where his comfort level was at. What if he started and didn't like it? "I'm...not sure..."

"Well, how about you think about it while we work on getting prepped? Uh, hang on...oh, uh, right there on the dresser, that bottle's lube, why don't you grab it before sitting down next to me?" Lyle looked over, saw the bottle, and brought it back to Jake, sitting on the bed next to him to the right. "Thanks, meant to bring that over before. Don't worry, it's no rush, we've got time."

"Sorry..."

"No need to be sorry. Just feel yourself out, figure out what you think you can do and what you think you need time for. And while we're waiting...can I touch you down there?"

Lyle swallowed and nodded. His heart was thumping a bit in a fierce mix of emotion, but he knew what he wanted...there was only one way he was going to get it, and that was by letting this happen. Jake's hand crossed towards his sheath, his fingertips brushing over the tip that was peeking out of there, giving a few gentle rubs to places...Lyle took a breath inward and let out a shaky, quiet moan as he felt himself shiver. It was quite a bit different to his own touch, somehow significantly more sensitive...each bit of contact felt more unexpected and stimulating, all of it in a good way, Jake easing him into it and not taking to too fast. Something the fox was very thankful for, too much of that too quickly could overwhelm him.

He didn't want Jake to be left out from this, and with a hesitant hand he reached for Jake's sheath. The wolf's was a bit larger than his, looking to be a fair handful for him, but he hoped that that wouldn't matter much...he was cautiously explorative as he made contact, trying to do some similar motions to what Jake was doing but also trying to go a bit further, knowing that Jake was much more used to these kinds of things. Rather than just rubbing, he grasped and squeezed a bit it spots, rubbing a nail around the rim of the sheath and slightly scratching along the underside. It was getting very promising hums and huffs out of Jake, which encouraged Lyle's continued explorations and helped relax him a bit.

The relaxation and stimulation was doing its job nicely; Lyle soon felt himself erecting under Jake's fingers. The wolf's attentions turned to his stiffening member more, keeping gentle but getting a bit more thorough, working him in a way that was simultaneously familiar and foreign. Lyle couldn't help but murr a bit, breathing deeper as the tingles of pleasure made his tail and legs twitch; his nerves were getting depressed as the good feelings become more and more prominent. He did what he could to return the favor as Jake's shaft pushed out and swelled up under his own fingers...it felt good to be able to pleasure someone else, even if he couldn't keep the thoughts from running through his head that he was touching someone else's cock, thoughts that he'd been so averse to for so long that it was tricky to beat them down now that it was something he actually wanted. Hearing Jake moan softly helped, the wolf's pleasure warmed his heart and soothed his soul.

"Ah...you coming up with anything?" Lyle almost missed the words, registering them only a few seconds after they'd been said. Jake hadn't stopped his hand motions, keeping Lyle's mind a bit fuzzier than it would normally have been, and it wasn't making the decision easier.

"I...uh...I..."

Jake gave a little laugh, the fox's flustered response was adorable. "Lost in the moment, a bit?"

"Unnh...I...I guess..."

"Don't worry. Easy to do when you're not used to it...I've been there. But I've got an idea." Jake pulled his hand away from Lyle's groin, shifted on the bed, and spread his legs a bit, smiling at Lyle. "Why don't you go first?"

"Go...first?"

"Yeah. I think that might be the thing that would be easiest for you, starting out. I'm guessing it's probably not something that's ever given you nightmares, so it might be the least, uh, potentially triggering thing to do."

Lyle just looked at Jake blankly, as the idea was sinking in: Jake was asking Lyle to top him. The idea of it hadn't ever even crossed his mind, he'd just...assumed he'd be taking the other role, without ever questioning it. He'd never even imagined himself doing anything but catching. And now he was wondering why he hadn't...or was that another part of his complex? His having felt so powerless and scared that the idea of being in a position of control wasn't even allowed? It seemed like there was no end to the depth that his issues could go...

"Lyle?" The fox snapped out of it hearing Jake's confused and somewhat concerned voice. "Are you all right?"

"Ah! Y-yeah, sorry, I..." Lyle's mind scrambled for an answer that wouldn't make him feel horribly embarrassed...it didn't take long. "I...I'd like to, yes...but...a-are you sure you'll...uhm...you know..."

Jake took a breath and let it out slowly. "I'm going to try, at least. I think, if we do it right, it should be okay...but...well, I can't...make promises. But, uh, yeah...I want to try, if it's good for you."

Lyle gave a slightly uncertain nod. "Okay. What...what should I do?"

"Well, for one thing, I think, uh, I really should prepare this time." Jake squirted some of the lube into his hand, and then held the bottle for Lyle to take. "Don't, uh, don't feel like you have to be stingy with it, I'd rather overdo it than underdo it here."

Lyle nodded and gave himself a fairly generous amount to spread over his cock. This was at least not totally unfamiliar, he used plenty from his frequent rubbing, but it seemed like he might need a bit more than that to properly prep himself for something like this. Back and forth his hand went, coating himself with as much as he could without having it drip off, the fluid cool at first and then warming as it stayed in contact with him. He wasn't sure what was enough, but there probably wasn't a magic quantity.

While Lyle was preparing himself, Jake was doing the same. Smearing the lube around his pucker, and then pushing in gently to rub it in deeper...his breath caught momentarily as he felt his finger enter, the feeling a bit too close to the unpleasant experiences to be totally blocked out...he pushed them away forcefully, trying not to let that overtake him. He was fine, he was in a safe place with a safe person, there was no need to worry about what had happened before, he told himself over and over, settling himself down so he could loosen up and work the lube in deeper. The discomfort waned as he relaxed, the stretching far less than either prior ordeal, something he could manage and make feel good...the cool sensation of the lubrication was also helping, it was oddly nice.

After a quite minute as the two worked through their nerves to prep, Lyle stepped up to Jake, who had laid back a bit and spread his legs fairly wide, a slightly nervous expression on his face as he made his invitation. "Okay...I think I'm ready. Just, uh...t-take it slowly, and...uhm...if I...if there's...you know...trouble. With me...I'll let you know."

Lyle nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, I'll be, uh, I'll be prepared for that." He brought himself up close to Jake, pointing his dick at the wolf's waiting rear. It felt almost surreal, being in this position, being right here about to have sex for the first time, something he had fought against most of his life, in a way he had never even imagined it. And the thing foremost in his mind wasn't even himself, but Jake...hoping that the wolf would be all right and trying to be extra vigilant of any sign of distress. That might have been the weirdest aspect of this whole experience, but he didn't let it stop him, and with as gentle a touch as he could, he pressed himself against Jake's tailhole and pushed with care.

Jake's eyes closed at first, and the moment he felt that touch he knew that was a mistake - he wanted to see what was real, not what his mind might fear. He opened them in a hurry, reassuring himself with the comforting sight of Lyle rather than the conjured image of someone he didn't want to think about ever again. Even then, though, the first push of Lyle's member into his rear was met with a spike in tension, his fingers gripping the bedclothes tight as he tried to will himself to relax. The first bit was the toughest, threatening to upend the whole thing right off the bat...but the next little push from Lyle, and his star parted around the fox, and he was able to relax a bit more as he felt that warm, slickened pole make headway inside him.

The contrast could not have been stronger. The extra prep made everything feel a lot softer and gentler, the slower pace was so much easier for Jake to acclimate to, and Lyle was a far better size for him than anything else he'd had in there. And that helped him put the others out of his mind, and focus purely on this experience as its own thing...one that was already feeling more good than bad, and turning the tension to ecstasy. His grip on the covers eased, and he spread out a bit more as the tension drifted slowly out of him.

Lyle was quite relieved to see it, as the wolf's initial response hadn't been so promising. The more Jake relaxed, the better he felt about doing what he was doing, and he felt encouraged enough to continue. His pace remained fairly slow, and he worked to ease the wolf open rather than just continuing to push deeper, taking a leisurely back and forth to coax Jake's body to adjust. The more assured of Jake's comfort, the more he could enjoy his own feelings...that tight passage around his cock, warm and inviting, almost massaging him as he moved within the wolf. He couldn't stop himself from moaning out at the thrums of pleasure starting to pulse through his loins, and he leaned over a bit more, hands finding the bed and bracing himself as he slowly built the pace up.

Jake's voice joined in the euphoric chorus, groans turning softer and higher as his own bliss built more and more. The sensation of Lyle's cock inside him was absolutely divine, that perfect pressure against his walls making him shiver. The ample lubrication had been heavenly, the fox could move in and out of him much more easily than when he'd tried this with Xander, and with much less stress on his insides, and now was being supplemented by Lyle's pre drooling into him, helping keep things going fairly smoothly. The one remaining sticking point was the knot he was feeling against his rear every time Lyle thrust in now, something that was distinctly thicker than what he was currently taking, and he wasn't sure if that was going to go as well for him. But he didn't want to stop Lyle when the fox was clearly enjoying himself.

Lyle could tell, though...he could feel Jake tense down a bit when his knot made contact. He wasn't sure if Jake was going to stop him or not, but the wolf had said he would say something if he needed to...he was starting to get closer, the desire building up noticeably in his groin, he knew he wasn't going to be able to go for too much longer. Jake didn't seem like he was as close...it helped a bit when Lyle shifted his angle and made contact with the wolf's prostate, getting a nice gasp and moan out of him. That needy, leaky tool was standing in front of Lyle, dribbling pre down its length...on impulse, Lyle took one hand and started to stroke him, getting more volume out of Jake's moans and more fluid squirting out of him.

That was a really appreciated touch for Jake, who knew he wasn't about to go off from anal alone - that took a talent he hadn't yet figured out on the other end, much less this one. Now things were feeling REALLY good, the occasional burst from Lyle catching his prostate and the manual assistance were bringing him quite a lot of enjoyment. Enough that he was willing to take a chance...with a strained, panting voice, he said, "Lyle...g-go ahead...and tie...when you're ready..."

Permission so granted, Lyle didn't waste time - he was desperately close as it was. But he also didn't force it, wanting to be as careful as he could...Jake was trying to relax for him, and he pushed a bit harder each time he thrust in, trying to prep the wolf as much as he could before the big finish. With his cock throbbing hard, though, he finally went for it all, grabbing the covers and leaning into it as he pushed, spreading Jake until he finally felt it slip in, and his body fully thumped against that rear end. And then, suddenly, he was cumming, crying out in bliss and relief as he shot his load into Jake, the tight passage still clenching onto him, kneading him wonderfully as he unloaded into it.

Jake wasn't quite there yet...the knot had been a bit more intense to get in, there was a spike of discomfort as his ass was stretched out, but it went away fairly quickly, and he was rewarded with the warmth and fullness of that whole fox shaft buried into him and spurting its sweet cream along his insides. His own cock, though, was on the edge but not there...at least, not until Lyle redoubled his efforts, jerking Jake's shaft hard and fast to get him up to the peak. With a fairly quick pace and firm grip, it didn't take long for Jake to join Lyle in rapture, his mouth hanging open wide and moaning out his release as he spurted onto himself, Lyle's hand catching some of it while the rest was plastered onto his chest and stomach, splattering into his fur.

The two spent a good bit of time locked in that state of mutual rapture, riding out the crests of pleasure as they rushed through them. They spent even more time in the tranquil afterglow, coming on as their peaks abated and their loads tapered off, going from spurts to dribbles to slight leakage. Deep breaths and quiet moans and hums were all that remained for the nonce, Lyle half-laying on Jake as he waited out the tie, almost shivering from the remnants of the pleasure, while Jake was a little more placid and significantly more relaxed. Each relieved that nothing had intruded on them unpleasantly, allowing them to enjoy what had happened without worry.

After several minutes Lyle felt himself start to soften, and he rose up a bit in preparation of pulling out. "Jake...that was...really, really good..."

"Mmm...I'm glad you liked it...you did a really good job, too," replied Jake with an encouraging smile. "Best cock I've had in my ass ever."

"A-heh...er...I guess it's not really a high bar, is it?" Lyle still flushed from the compliment. Getting a bit more adventurous, he lifted the hand that had been working Jake's shaft, still wet with a fair bit of the wolf's seed, and licked some of it off. Almost immediately, he made a face. "Leah...that wasn't what I was hoping for..."

Jake snickered a bit. "It's an acquired taste, took me a bit to get used to it, too. Don't worry, you can take that at your own pace...and if you never like it, well, not everyone swallows."

"I guess." Lyle pulled himself out, his knot making a slight pop but mostly deflated by then. That had been quite wonderful, but he didn't want to be done yet. "Uhm...Jake...thanks for letting me...uh, be on top first. I think you're right, it helped a lot."

The wolf nodded gently. "Of course, I'm glad it helped you feel better. But I can't help but notice you said 'first'..."

"Y-yeah...um..." Lyle took a breath. "I want...if you're able to, um, still go...I want to feel you, too."

"Sure, I think I can manage another. If you're up for it, that is...you don't have to if you don't want to, it's not a requirement."

"I know...but...I...I do want it." There was a tremor in his voice, a hint of uncertainty, but mingled with a decided determination. Too long he'd let fear rule him...he had to face it better if he wanted to get what he wanted out of life. And he wanted this, without question.

Jake noticed the tremor, but trusted Lyle. "All right...where...there we are." He found the bottle of lube on the bed and took it in his hand. "You want to, uh, get yourself ready back there?"

"Uhm...well, I...don't really know if I know how...I was always too nervous to, uh, try to put anything back there...d'you...do you think you can get me ready, and I can, um, get you, too?"

"Absolutely. Why don't you lie down here on your side, and I'll get you nice and ready."

Nodding, Lyle climbed up on the bed, turning himself so his tail end was up near Jake's head, while he was facing down the wolf's spire. It was starting to fall away a bit, the lack of recent use providing no reason for it to stick around...Lyle definitely didn't want that. He started to rub it again, trying to arrest its decline...and then yipped a bit when he felt something cool around his tailhole. Jake looked back at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah! Just...wasn't expecting it. Keep going, please."

Jake continued, but was a little bit more obvious about what he was doing, pressing against the fox's rear before working the lube around Lyle's tailhole. Pressing his fingers in a little bit, not much but enough to warn Lyle, he worked the lubrication in a little deeper, working around the tightening and tensing of that rear end against his digits. Lyle got very vocal as this was happening, gasps and moans coming from his maw constantly, as he tried to adjust to the first pressure he had opening himself up coming from without. Jake was doing his best to ease him in, but it was definitely having an effect already.

Lyle struggled a bit to get his focus back; this was definitely a foreign sensation, and one on the more difficult side to get used to. But he kept working on Jake's tool, making sure it got back to full hardness however he could. That started with his hands, massaging the base where the wolf's knot would be and stroking and teasing over the shaft, with a bit of extra focus on that pointed tip. At one point, he worked up enough nerve to take a lick...it again wasn't an immediately delightful taste, not quite as unwelcome as the semen, but enough that he only took a few here and there, not diving straight in like some of the videos he'd seen. It was enough, though, Jake was nice and hard again before too long, and the cool sensation in his own rear end was feeling pretty good. "Ah...I, I think I'm ready, Jake..."

"All right...let me get some here quick..." Jake pumped out a bit more lube and rubbed it on his dick, making sure he got it nice and slick for Lyle. "I think, ah, it might be best if we start with you on top...that way you'll be able to take it at your own pace. I'll help you stay balanced."

"Okay." Another thing Lyle didn't expect, but he wasn't about to argue - Jake seemed to have thought out what might be the best ways to ease him into something like this, and so far he'd been right. The fox was still a bit apprehensive, the paranoia still trying to cling to him despite his rational mind knowing that he didn't need to worry, but he didn't let it stop him as he straddled Jake, lifting himself over that thick pole of flesh. A lot bigger than Jake's fingers were...he definitely wanted to take it slow, he remembered how funny Jake had been walking after his encounter with Xander.

With his hands braced on Jake's chest, and the wolf's hands holding his hips, Lyle lowered himself slowly onto Jake's cock. It was a fight at first to relax, and let it enter...the pointed tip at least helped, being narrow enough to pry him open a bit, but he had to inch down to overcome both his own virgin tightness and the tension in his mind from allowing himself to be penetrated. It took a bit, but he finally got down a couple inches, helping him to relax about feeling something inside him, and as he relaxed it got a little easier to move. Jake didn't rush it, just encouraging him to go as he felt comfortable doing so.

Though it was slow going, it wasn't because Lyle was suffering - in fact the wolf's shaft wasn't bothering Lyle much at all on a physical level. The stretch was unusual, uncomfortable to start but getting less so quite quickly after the initial sensation, and the thickness and warmth were rapidly proving to be assets in his pleasure. He was taking it a little faster than he'd gone on the other end, though still at an even pace, not wanting to risk overdoing it...the more he worked in and out, though, the faster he was moving down, pushing it deeper inside and letting out increasingly relaxed moans as he got closer to the knot.

It almost surprised him when he reached it, he didn't expect success quite as fast as it came. But it certainly felt like he had plenty in him...Jake was marginally but noticeably larger than Lyle was, and with most of it in him he felt pretty stuffed back there. Not in a bad way, though...his tail twitched and swayed, further expressing his contentment with the feelings as he sat there, letting himself adjust the rest of the way. "Ahhn...Jake, this...feels good..."

"Mmn, yeah, same here..." Jake held firm to Lyle, making sure the fox didn't have any trouble staying upright. But that rear wrapped tight around his cock was almost too good, it was so tough resisting the temptation to buck a bit. It had been months since he'd done this, opportunities just hadn't been as frequent for various reasons, but this was definitely worth the wait. And if that was the case, he could be patient and let Lyle take things at his pace, no need to rush anything.

Lyle didn't take it as slowly as he expected, though, starting to rise up and drop down on him with a bit more energy than he would have foreseen. The fox's fingers kneaded his chest fur as he worked Jake in and out, tilting a bit here and there to try to angle himself to find that spot inside him...it was definitely a bit of a blind shot, Lyle was fully aware of its existence but had never tried to find it, not daring to do anything in there before. It was supposed to be one of the best parts, though, and he didn't want to miss out.

And it didn't take too long before he DID find it...a plaintive cry escaped him, his body shivering as a rush of pleasure went through him. Not as much as he expected, it definitely felt GOOD, but didn't shatter his senses like he almost thought it would. Maybe another one of those things that was a bit exaggerated...which wasn't to say he didn't want more. But he spaced it out a bit, let himself come down from that spike before focusing on it again, a bit more ready for it and enjoying it even a bit more.

Jake didn't have to do much except enjoy the leisurely pace, which was good for helping his cock and balls refresh from the first round. He was starting to moan as well, though not as loud as Lyle, and it was becoming tougher keeping his hips from pushing up into the fox. His eyes were fixated on Lyle's face, that expression of lusty bliss very cute and very appealing. Jake always did enjoy seeing his partners in pleasure, but for some reason Lyle took it to another level...his pleasure meant more, maybe because of how attached he'd grown, or maybe because he knew how hard it had been for Lyle to reach it. Seeing him finally there, finally able to enjoy it...there was something gratifying about being able to bring that to him.

Lyle's energetic pace started to flag after a bit, though; having already done the heavy lifting for round one, his stamina was reaching empty. As he came to rest against Jake's knot, his panting was evident. "Ah...Jake...would you...take over? Please?"

"Yeah, sure." Jake helped Lyle maneuver a bit so that the fox could roll over onto the bed, with the wolf over top. Now he was in a position of control, and intent on reminding himself to be very attentive to Lyle, in case this caused distress...he hoped he could do well enough to avoid that, but there was no way of knowing at the moment. He held himself steady at first, waiting for Lyle to get comfortable...on the fox's go-ahead, he started to thrust in, trying to keep it similar to the pace Lyle had been going at but maybe a little bit more forceful since he had better leverage.

Much as Lyle had wanted it, he was worried, deep down, about ceding the lead...but, when all was said and done, it didn't feel that different. It was still Jake's shaft in his tailhole, still him moving in and out, occasionally touching that special spot that make his body quake. His moans, while still somewhat breathless, came back with added volume, and he clung to the big furry body above him as his own length started to leak again. And feeling Jake against him, it was soothing him very nicely, warding off that anxiety better than anything else Lyle could remember in his life.

Jake was hitting his stride, feeling more aroused than when they'd started now, once again feeling the urges start to rise again. He slowly sped up, being careful not to overdo it but keenly aware of Lyle's rapturous moans; the fox seemed to be handling things fine overall. He kept his arms around Lyle as he moved back and forth, feeling the end of the fox's tool brushing against his fur. In fact he lowered a bit to make more contact with it, hoping that would help provide a little extra pleasure to the fox with his hands a bit occupied.

The two of them were starting to get very close, Jake a little more rapidly than Lyle this time. Their voices expressing their mutual delight, their bodies rubbing in time against each other, spreading some of the mess from Jake's fur into Lyle's, their faces heavy with eager happiness...Jake couldn't remember being this in sync with anyone before, he would swear even their hearts were almost in time with each other. And Lyle had nothing to compare to, but even he felt like this was more than just what a regular romp would be, something about it transcended what he had expected in ways he'd never imagined.

Jake's thrusts got a little more vigorous as his knot started to push against Lyle. Jake had to finish it soon, he knew that, so he needed to get an idea of how that was going to happen. "Mmph...Lyle...do you-"

"Y-yes!" came the quick reply. "Please...l-let me feel it, Jake!"

That was about as emphatic as it got, and Jake didn't waste time, feeling himself barely holding back anymore. He gave a few harder, testing thrusts, pushing on that pucker and feeling it try to give for him. Lyle could feel it too, feel Jake priming himself to enter...as the wolf gave his next thrust, he tried as much as he could to relax, and, without either of them totally expecting it, the wolf's knot popped in, Lyle's ass swallowing it and holding it in place almost greedily, bathing Jake's shaft in pressure and pleasure. Jake let out a little bark as he came, and Lyle felt that sudden rush of heat within him, another foreign sensation that was proving much more delightful than he had feared, giving him another rush through his body.

The fox's cock was teetering on the brink, and Jake had just enough wherewithal in the midst of his pleasure to pull his hand out from underneath and give Lyle a few quick strokes and a clamp down around his knot, sending him to the heavens once more. Now it was Lyle's turn to get a load of himself all over his front, though not quite as robust of one as the first time around; the added spunk from Jake's grinding against him was more than enough to make it look more thorough, though. He hardly cared, trying to avoid it would have meant getting further away from Jake, and that was the last thing he wanted.

The high didn't last quite as long this time around, both of them spent a little bit faster, and quite clearly not going again that night. But the relief and relaxation was even deeper this time after their climaxes receded, leaving them panting, weary, and wholly content. Jake rolled them onto their sides, still holding Lyle close but able to rest himself down on the bed. Lyle looked into his eyes, the two locked in the moment, only able to stare in as deep as they could go...and then, they leaned forward a bit, muzzles meeting and tongues twining in a short kiss. Not the most practiced of maneuvers, even Jake couldn't boast of experience here, but even though it was but a few seconds, it felt just as meaningful as everything that had led up to it.

As they parted, it all came rushing at once to Lyle. He'd just done it...he'd just had sex, allowed another person into his body for the first time, pushed away his fears and let himself be exposed and vulnerable...and nothing had changed. He was still the way he was, still the same person, none of the fears of what might happen to him coming to pass. And, for a moment, he was overwhelmed, tears rushing into his eyes as he buried his face suddenly into Jake's shoulder. "Jake...th-thank you...so much..."

It was all quite sudden for Jake, who at first feared something had gone wrong...but, he could feel it, this wasn't Lyle in pain or anguish, this was a hold of blessed relief and happiness. It got his own eyes misting up, as he held the fox tighter, nuzzling him gently. "Lyle...thank you, too..."

Outside, the fireworks were going off, as many revelers celebrated the clock turning over one final time and ushering in the new calendar year. For the two of them, they'd already had their fireworks, better ones than any light show outside...a blessed end to a turbulent year that had changed them both forever, and one they would always remember as the next chapters opened in their lives.